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View Full Version : Life I got propositioned to be an older gay gentleman's fap material


Silock
07-13-2009, 03:31 PM
So, I'm at the gym, almost done with my workout. The whole time, I've been seeing this older black gentlemen working out around the gym. He's not actually working out or lifting any kind of heavy weight -- just general bullshit like lifting the bar or 10 lb dumbbell curls. I don't think anything of it and just chalk it up to another dude there who doesn't know what he's doing. Whatever.

As I get done with one of my sets, he approaches me and asks if I work out there often. I don't think anything of it, as I get asked this all the time by people looking for advice on what to do. I answer in the affirmative, and then it gets . . . weird. He tells me he's a photographer looking for male models. My immediate thought is "Wow, I've heard of dudes like this just trolling gyms for ass, but I never thought it would happen to me." I mean, one of my friends ACTUALLY went through with it, posing nude for some dude and got paid like $500. He said that I was the athletic build he was looking for and asked if I wanted to earn some extra money.

Trying, successfully for the most part, I think, to stifle a laugh, I told him that I appreciated the offer, but my schedule was just too busy.

This is the second time in a week something like this has happened. Last week, I was walking out of the gym and some older guy asks if I work out a lot. I told him that I did, but that it was mostly for soccer. He goes "Well, you're really buff and tone for someone that only lifts twice a week. Mind coming to my house and showing me your routine?"

I'm starting to feel like J.D. from Scrubs, only I don't have a porch.

Simply Red
07-13-2009, 03:33 PM
I think you may be gay.

Simply Red
07-13-2009, 03:33 PM
and that's okay.

Demonpenz
07-13-2009, 03:33 PM
one of the reasons I took the sock out of my shorts while working out

Count Zarth
07-13-2009, 03:36 PM
Wow, in real life is even scarier than online. I never get it in real life.

kstater
07-13-2009, 03:36 PM
one of the reasons I took the sock out of my shorts while working out

LMAO

Simply Red
07-13-2009, 03:36 PM
one of the reasons I took the sock out of my shorts while working out

ROFL

oh, and i was joking, fwiw, Silock.

LaChapelle
07-13-2009, 03:37 PM
Everyone has a thread they regret.

Silock
07-13-2009, 03:38 PM
ROFL

oh, and i was joking, fwiw, Silock.

Yes, I know.

I'm flattered, to be honest. However, I'm also a bit concerned that I'm showing up on old man gaydar. But it's not just the old guys. Last year, some male flight attendant started hitting on me while I was in the squat rack.

The gays love me!

Silock
07-13-2009, 03:39 PM
Everyone has a thread they regret.

I'd only regret it had I done something worth regretting.

Demonpenz
07-13-2009, 03:43 PM
what the hell is throwing off their gayday? To you shave everything arms legs? do you moose your hair? Nice dress shoes? Northface jacket with scarf? Semen on your ass?

JD10367
07-13-2009, 03:43 PM
Hey, the economy's tough, and it's only gay if your balls touch. :shrug: If he wants to pay you $500 to fap on the other side of the room... easy money! :D

Bowser
07-13-2009, 03:44 PM
What gym is this? You'd think the staff would discourage trolls/clowns from just walking around checking everyone out.

one of the reasons I took the sock out of my shorts while working out

LMAO

BigVE
07-13-2009, 03:44 PM
The gay-dar don't lie!

KCUnited
07-13-2009, 03:45 PM
Scott Fitness?

rambleonthruthefog
07-13-2009, 03:46 PM
gay dudes are like regular dudes. they see a piece of meat they like, they make a move. if peice of meat says no, on to next piece of meat.

KC native
07-13-2009, 03:47 PM
what the hell is throwing off their gayday? To you shave everything arms legs? do you moose your hair? Nice dress shoes? Northface jacket with scarf? Semen on your ass?

ROFL

Fritz88
07-13-2009, 03:52 PM
One time my programming professor asked me if I wanted to hang out with him some weekend. I agreed, thinking that it was just two guys chilling. We went to the gym.

One naked dude passed by and my professor stared at his butt and complemented that guy "your body is nicely toned".

I sensed some bullshit so when he took his pants off and waited for me to get naked I just decided to have my shorts on.


He kept rubbing my back from time to time and I couldn't say shit because he is the one grading my exams. I could not wait until I left the gym.

I declined his other requests for 'hang outs', quit going to class, came and took the exam and didn't bother to take my grades.

Count Zarth
07-13-2009, 03:54 PM
He kept rubbing my back from time to time and I couldn't say shit because he is the one grading my exams. I could not wait until I left the gym.


Holy fuck that's creepy.

I gotta go back to school.

Garcia Bronco
07-13-2009, 03:56 PM
Effing disgusting.

Ebolapox
07-13-2009, 03:58 PM
One time my programming professor asked me if I wanted to hang out with him some weekend. I agreed, thinking that it was just two guys chilling. We went to the gym.

One naked dude passed by and my professor stared at his butt and complemented that guy "your body is nicely toned".

I sensed some bullshit so when he took his pants off and waited for me to get naked I just decided to have my shorts on.


He kept rubbing my back from time to time and I couldn't say shit because he is the one grading my exams. I could not wait until I left the gym.

I declined his other requests for 'hang outs', quit going to class, came and took the exam and didn't bother to take my grades.

ROFL

Silock
07-13-2009, 03:58 PM
One time my programming professor asked me if I wanted to hang out with him some weekend. I agreed, thinking that it was just two guys chilling. We went to the gym.

One naked dude passed by and my professor stared at his butt and complemented that guy "your body is nicely toned".

I sensed some bullshit so when he took his pants off and waited for me to get naked I just decided to have my shorts on.


He kept rubbing my back from time to time and I couldn't say shit because he is the one grading my exams. I could not wait until I left the gym.

I declined his other requests for 'hang outs', quit going to class, came and took the exam and didn't bother to take my grades.

Wow. You know if you'd taken that to the department chair, you'd have not only gotten an A in that class, but every other class you took that semester and the one after, right?

Demonpenz
07-13-2009, 04:00 PM
does this gym have track lighting?

Donger
07-13-2009, 04:01 PM
Show tune muzak?

Demonpenz
07-13-2009, 04:02 PM
I always found it wierd my gym was playing officer and gentleman on repeat and it always seemed to be the part when richard gear was in his underwear.

kstater
07-13-2009, 04:02 PM
He kept rubbing my back from time to time and I couldn't say shit because he is the one grading my exams. I could not wait until I left the gym.


Yeah, you're gay and don't know it. No man is getting past 1 awkward rub with me. 1st time's an ass chewing, the second time he's getting the shit kicked out of him.

Fritz88
07-13-2009, 04:03 PM
Wow. You know if you'd taken that to the department chair, you'd have not only gotten an A in that class, but every other class you took that semester and the one after, right?

I wish I had done that, believe me :)

I went to the University of Kansas. But that was a summer class at another popular college. I am not going to name it though :)

Fritz88
07-13-2009, 04:05 PM
Yeah, you're gay and don't know it.

ROFL

Demonpenz
07-13-2009, 04:10 PM
I remember one time I was ****ing this guy in the ass and he tried to kiss me. I was like get the **** away ****ot

Donger
07-13-2009, 04:13 PM
One of my closest friends in junior high school once asked me during a sleep over, "Would you accept a BJ from a guy?"

I naturally replied, "Ummm, no. I'm not homosexual."

He responded with: "Well, the way I see it - a mouth's a mouth."

Bowser
07-13-2009, 04:13 PM
I remember one time I was ****ing this guy in the ass and he tried to kiss me. I was like get the **** away ****ot

You're not gay, but your boyfriend is.

SDChiefs
07-13-2009, 04:15 PM
Maybe you should think about cancelling youre membership and moving on to a gym on another side of town.

Phobia
07-13-2009, 04:16 PM
Silock,
You are a very handsome man. It's nothing about which to be ashamed. In fact, I rather enjoy seeing you run on a field of green. You're like a Steven Seagal clone and that is what keeps me coming back.

Count Zarth
07-13-2009, 04:18 PM
One of my closest friends in junior high school once asked me during a sleep over, "Would you accept a BJ from a guy?"

I naturally replied, "Ummm, no. I'm not homosexual."

He responded with: "Well, the way I see it - a mouth's a mouth."

I don't think I knew what a blowjob WAS in junior high school.

Fritz88
07-13-2009, 04:18 PM
One of my closest friends in junior high school once asked me during a sleep over, "Would you accept a BJ from a guy?"

I naturally replied, "Ummm, no. I'm not homosexual."

He responded with: "Well, the way I see it - a mouth's a mouth."

fuck that, it made sense.

Jenson71
07-13-2009, 04:20 PM
$500? That's a tough call.

Kyle DeLexus
07-13-2009, 04:24 PM
When I worked at a gym, we had guys complaining about that kind of stuff. There's not much you can do if you don't see it happening. One guy came out and said he was going to cancel his membership, he went into the steamroom and some dude was blowing some other guy. We also stopped letting one guy come in and pay the guest fee since he got a complaint about his lockroom antics.

Scorp
07-13-2009, 04:40 PM
I remember one time I was ****ing this guy in the ass and he tried to kiss me. I was like get the **** away ****ot

This is gonna make a great sig. ROFL

Nzoner
07-13-2009, 04:46 PM
When I was in high school we had an old focker who lived next door and he was knocking on our door one night complaining of chest pains.Just as we were getting ready to call for help his brother shows up and starts cussing him out for bothering the neighbors etc. and takes him home.

Later my mom thinks I should go check on him,which I do.I have a coke in my hand and he invites me in.He wants to know if I want some whiskey for my coke which I gladly accept.

Then out of nowhere this old bastard asks,"so joe,do you beat your spoon?" :eek:

I'm like wtf?

"Do you beat your spoon?" He asks again.

I get very defensive and tell him to fock off to which he replies,"I'll gladly do it for you."

One more fock off and I slam his door and go back home.

Later that week I'm outside and this focker pulls up with a buddy in a pick-up and asks if I've considered his offer.Another fock you and within a few weeks he had moved.

My one and only experience with gays coming on to me but it made such an impression that to this day I'm more or less homophobic and I mean it when I say NO means NO you sick bastards.

Halfcan
07-13-2009, 04:47 PM
For $500 he could use a telephoto on my bung hole for all I care-lol

JD10367
07-13-2009, 04:49 PM
One of my closest friends in junior high school once asked me during a sleep over, <strike>"Would you accept a BJ from a guy?"</strike>" "Can I blow you?"

Fixed for accuracy, since that's what he was really asking, LOL.

Iowanian
07-13-2009, 05:13 PM
So....

How much did it cost him to massage your prostate, purely in a medical research kind of way?

Saccopoo
07-13-2009, 05:16 PM
Yes, I know.

I'm flattered, to be honest. However, I'm also a bit concerned that I'm showing up on old man gaydar. But it's not just the old guys. Last year, some male flight attendant started hitting on me while I was in the squat rack.

The gays love me!

Grow a beard. And not one of those shaved/stubbly looking things. A real beard. Lumberjack level man type of stuff. It will minimize your cross-section on the gaydar by an exponential magnitude. Also, I recommend to quit working out in a Greek thong, a lycra tank top and flip-flops.

Silock
07-13-2009, 05:21 PM
Silock,
You are a very handsome man. It's nothing about which to be ashamed. In fact, I rather enjoy seeing you run on a field of green. You're like a Steven Seagal clone and that is what keeps me coming back.

I try to emulate this every day. Maybe that's the problem . . .

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IO_RYWjE6Gg&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IO_RYWjE6Gg&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Rain Man
07-13-2009, 06:55 PM
When I was in high school we had an old focker who lived next door and he was knocking on our door one night complaining of chest pains.Just as we were getting ready to call for help his brother shows up and starts cussing him out for bothering the neighbors etc. and takes him home.

Later my mom thinks I should go check on him,which I do.I have a coke in my hand and he invites me in.He wants to know if I want some whiskey for my coke which I gladly accept.

Then out of nowhere this old bastard asks,"so joe,do you beat your spoon?" :eek:

I'm like wtf?

"Do you beat your spoon?" He asks again.

I get very defensive and tell him to fock off to which he replies,"I'll gladly do it for you."

One more fock off and I slam his door and go back home.

Later that week I'm outside and this focker pulls up with a buddy in a pick-up and asks if I've considered his offer.Another fock you and within a few weeks he had moved.

My one and only experience with gays coming on to me but it made such an impression that to this day I'm more or less homophobic and I mean it when I say NO means NO you sick bastards.


Did you ever consider that you're partly responsible for wearing those hot pants and halter tops?

listopencil
07-13-2009, 07:04 PM
I remember one time I was ****ing this guy in the ass and he tried to kiss me. I was like get the **** away ****ot

Heh hah hah heh, oh shit. You cracked me up. Gotta admit it.

listopencil
07-13-2009, 07:06 PM
One of my closest friends in junior high school once asked me during a sleep over, "Would you accept a BJ from a guy?"

I naturally replied, "Ummm, no. I'm not homosexual."

He responded with: "Well, the way I see it - a mouth's a mouth."


But that was in England. That kind of stuff is normal over there, isn't it?

Crush
07-13-2009, 07:08 PM
An oldie, but it is a classic.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33540

Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?


Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything–I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man, too–big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn't seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is.

Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my cock? Did I look gay to him? Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? I don't recall the phrase, "Suck my cock" entering the conversation, and I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock."

I've got nothing against homosexuals. Let them be free to do their gay thing in peace, I say. But when they start sucking my cock, then I've got a real problem.

Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a rugged-looking, blond-haired man in his early 30s. He seemed straight enough to me while we were bathing in that mountain stream, but, before you know it, he's sucking my cock!

What is it with these homos? Can't they control their sexual urges? Aren't there enough gay cocks out there for them to suck on without them having to target normal people like me?

Believe me, I have no interest in getting my cock sucked by some queer. But try telling that to the guy at the beach club. Or the one at the video store. Or the one who catered my wedding. Or any of the countless other homos who've come on to me recently. All of them sucked my cock, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots?

It screws with your head at other times, too. Every time a man passes me on the street, I'm afraid he's going to grab me and drag me off to some bathroom to suck my cock. I've even started to visualize these repulsive cock-sucking episodes during the healthy, heterosexual marital relations I enjoy with my wife–even some that haven't actually happened, like the sweaty, post-game locker-room tryst with Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier that I can't seem to stop thinking about.

Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be women trying to suck my cock, which would be adultery and would make me feel tremendously guilty. As it is, I'm just angry and sickened. But believe me, that's enough. I don't know what makes these homosexuals mistake me for a guy who wants his cock sucked, and, frankly, I don't want to know. I just wish there were some way to get them to stop.

I've tried all sorts of things to get them to stop, but it has all been to no avail. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather thong with menacing metal studs in the hopes that it would frighten those pillowbiters off, but it didn't work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, slapping them around whenever they were sucking my cock, but that failed, too. Even pulling out of their mouths just before ejaculation and shooting sperm all over their face, neck, chest and hair seemed to have no effect. What do I have to do to get the message across to these swishes?

I swear, if these homosexuals don't take a hint and quit sucking my cock all the time, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures–like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful forearms and working my cock all the way up their butt so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I mean, you can't get much more direct than that.

Silock
07-14-2009, 04:25 AM
Also, I recommend to quit working out in a Greek thong, a lycra tank top and flip-flops.

DAMMIT! I knew I was doing something wrong.

mikey23545
07-14-2009, 04:40 AM
Don't ask, don't tell...

LaChapelle
07-14-2009, 04:42 AM
This place is turning into Graigslist.

Short Leash Hootie
07-14-2009, 05:16 AM
probably keep threads like these to yourself...you just sound all sorts of gay

Short Leash Hootie
07-14-2009, 05:16 AM
as in...no one gives a shit that you work out kind of way

J Diddy
07-14-2009, 05:25 AM
as in...no one gives a shit that you work out kind of way



:spock:

but what if the guy who propositioned him was huard

would it be funny then?

Kerberos
07-14-2009, 05:48 AM
$500? That's a tough call.

For $500 he could use a telephoto on my bung hole for all I care-lol

Hey, the economy's tough, and it's only gay if your balls touch. :shrug: If he wants to pay you $500 to fap on the other side of the room... easy money! :D

$500 for a photo shoot?

Do it man...

But when he offers you a drink or water with GHB in it you might want to turn it down so you don't wake up in an alley with ass pains.

Crush
07-14-2009, 06:01 AM
$500 for a photo shoot?

Do it man...

But when he offers you a drink or water with GHB in it you might want to turn it down so you don't wake up in an alley with ass pains.


This

BigRedChief
07-14-2009, 06:40 AM
welllll, after meeting you in person several times, I've considered turning gay. But the anal sex was just too big of hurdle to clear.

Reerun_KC
07-14-2009, 07:23 AM
Damn dude, your really gay.... ROFL

Reerun_KC
07-14-2009, 07:24 AM
probably keep threads like these to yourself...you just sound all sorts of gay

Reminds me of all the Huard threads you used to create...

Yeah, your were and probably are still gay for DownField BigGame...

rageeumr
07-14-2009, 07:32 AM
There's a dude that "works out" at the gym I go to that really creeps me out. I'm pretty sure he's there every day, and spends multiple hours just hanging out (literally and figuratively) in the locker room. I'll show up and he'll be walking into the shower. I work out for an hour or so, come back into the locker room and he's still there, and still naked.

All I have ever seen him do in the actual gym is walk laps around the basketball court. I talked to a trainer there that I used to train with and he said he's had 3 or 4 complaints about the guy, but they can't do anything about it.

So if this sounds like you.....STOP IT! People are on to your shenanigans.

Ultra Peanut
07-14-2009, 08:49 AM
Did he offer you any imitation crab? Can you smash things? This is important.

also, pics plz and ALSO do you look anything like Roman Pavlyuchenko? This is VERY important.

BigMeatballDave
07-14-2009, 08:57 AM
Probably already stated, but whatever... this thread is gay...

CoMoChief
07-14-2009, 09:05 AM
HAHA Silock is gay

DJJasonp
07-14-2009, 09:23 AM
When I was in high school we had an old focker who lived next door and he was knocking on our door one night complaining of chest pains.Just as we were getting ready to call for help his brother shows up and starts cussing him out for bothering the neighbors etc. and takes him home.

Later my mom thinks I should go check on him,which I do.I have a coke in my hand and he invites me in.He wants to know if I want some whiskey for my coke which I gladly accept.

Then out of nowhere this old bastard asks,"so joe,do you beat your spoon?" :eek:

I'm like wtf?

"Do you beat your spoon?" He asks again.

I get very defensive and tell him to fock off to which he replies,"I'll gladly do it for you."

One more fock off and I slam his door and go back home.

Later that week I'm outside and this focker pulls up with a buddy in a pick-up and asks if I've considered his offer.Another fock you and within a few weeks he had moved.

My one and only experience with gays coming on to me but it made such an impression that to this day I'm more or less homophobic and I mean it when I say NO means NO you sick bastards.

First thing that came to my mind after reading this:

RJ
07-14-2009, 12:39 PM
Well, if you're tired of all the homosexuals at the gym you could always start working out in the men's room at the Greyhound station.

JOhn
07-14-2009, 01:07 PM
First thing that came to my mind after reading this:

No shit, btw did the whistle when he talked?ROFL

Baby Lee
07-14-2009, 01:10 PM
Grow a beard. And not one of those shaved/stubbly looking things. A real beard. Lumberjack level man type of stuff. It will minimize your cross-section on the gaydar by an exponential magnitude. Also, I recommend to quit working out in a Greek thong, a lycra tank top and flip-flops.

There's an app for that.

http://www.pridewest.co.uk/images/pictures/gay_bears.jpg

88TG88
07-14-2009, 01:13 PM
$500 for a photo shoot?

Do it man...

But when he offers you a drink or water with GHB in it you might want to turn it down so you don't wake up in an alley with ass pains.

ROFLROFLROFL

Kyle DeLexus
07-14-2009, 01:30 PM
There's a dude that "works out" at the gym I go to that really creeps me out. I'm pretty sure he's there every day, and spends multiple hours just hanging out (literally and figuratively) in the locker room. I'll show up and he'll be walking into the shower. I work out for an hour or so, come back into the locker room and he's still there, and still naked.

All I have ever seen him do in the actual gym is walk laps around the basketball court. I talked to a trainer there that I used to train with and he said he's had 3 or 4 complaints about the guy, but they can't do anything about it.

So if this sounds like you.....STOP IT! People are on to your shenanigans.

It's a common problem at gyms, theres just not much you can do if an employee doesn't witness something. When I was working at PLF, one of the MOD's was on craigslist and found something in the one section where people post trying to talk to people they met. I guess some dude put our gym on there and said to meet him back there in the shower area. All we could do was have our membership reps walk through the locker rooms every now and then.

38yrsfan
07-14-2009, 01:48 PM
Everyone has a thread they regret.

Especially when things start to unravel ............

Ebolapox
07-14-2009, 01:57 PM
Did he offer you any imitation crab? Can you smash things? This is important.

also, pics plz and ALSO do you look anything like Roman Pavlyuchenko? This is VERY important.

ROFL

rep. you can't be too loud, his kid is asleep.

Ultra Peanut
07-14-2009, 02:10 PM
ROFL

rep. you can't be too loud, his kid is asleep.Allll aboard!

I feel SO SORRY for the people who don't know what we're talking about. Like, genuine pity.

Baby Lee
07-14-2009, 02:27 PM
Allll aboard!

I feel SO SORRY for the people who don't know what we're talking about. Like, genuine pity.

It's all perfectly good, we just got too much.

It's sublime to think someone could read that and his response is 'sounds good, but I wonder if the surimi has turned.'