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KC Jones
08-17-2009, 07:22 AM
I just got a hell of a shock. I went to a reunion and saw an old flame. I guess you could say my first true love. What was shocking was the emotions I felt when I saw her. I mean I felt like my world was turned upside down. I've thought of a couple of sappy metaphors since then, but thankfully I have the sense to spare you those.

Part of the reason it was so shocking to me I guess was that I am a very happily married man. I wouldn't trade my life or my family for anything in the world. Until I saw her I had no idea that I'd have any feelings at all for this woman. When I saw her I went over to say hi, someone caught my arm and spun me around for a quick chat and when I turned back she was gone. Later in the evening we ended up getting to say hi and then she admitted she was avoiding me because she was basically having the same feelings I was. We gave each other a quick hug and went our separate ways without letting ourselves near each other the rest of the night until she came by later to say a quick goodbye.

I guess this is part confession (I mean really, who else am I going to tell about this?) and part public service warning. Since getting back home I decided to look up the phenomenon of getting re-acquainted with lost loves and found that it's not at all uncommon and it's ruined plenty of perfectly good marriages. Psychologists theorize that it's emotional imprinting - when we're young and experiencing these emotions for the first time they are basically engraved in our brains very deeply. Here's the shocker and the warning part: Three in four married people who contact their first loves LEAVE their spouse, either emotionally and sexually with an affair, or fully with a divorce. :eek: From reviewing the topic, it's not like these people were necessarily young or had bad marriages either. A lot of them are in their 50's when this happens.

I'm just very happy that we didn't exchange any information and had the sense to avoid each other. I feel like I dodged a bullet. When I got back home to my wife and kids I felt so relieved and so happy. I feel a little guilty for having even had those feelings, but now that I read up about it I can understand it's probably just some chemical soup issues. Seeing the old flame triggered memories and released massive amounts of happy chemicals. whew.

kepp
08-17-2009, 07:25 AM
Interesting. I have a HS reunion next year and this kind of crossed my mind.

Skip Towne
08-17-2009, 07:26 AM
I did that once...................ONCE

Katipan
08-17-2009, 07:27 AM
That's really very sweet but you didn't even know the chick anymore.

I couldn't imagine my brain operating that way. The guys I dated in high school were children. I can't associate them any other way. My memories and thoughts would be of child like joy.

pr_capone
08-17-2009, 07:30 AM
I did that once...................ONCE

Who was the lucky girl you clubbed over the head and drug back to your cave?

:p

Skip Towne
08-17-2009, 07:32 AM
Who was the lucky girl you clubbed over the head and drug back to your cave?

:p

She called me after I had been married for 10 years. I was happy so I didn't pursue it.

pr_capone
08-17-2009, 07:35 AM
She called me after I had been married for 10 years. I was happy so I didn't pursue it.

That's a great thing.

I have an ex who contacts me every once in a while... even tried to kiss me once. At first I was worried that old feelings would come back... then I remembered that she was bat shit crazy and those worries went away real quick.

Buehler445
08-17-2009, 07:39 AM
I honestly don't think I would have any good feelings about any of my old flames. The one that might pissed me off so mightily that the venom I have for her would outwiegh the happiness I had with her.

Tough situation though. Honestly, I think it is good you were astute enough to recognize what was going on. That speaks a lot to you.
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Buehler445
08-17-2009, 07:40 AM
Who was the lucky girl you clubbed over the head and drug back to your cave?

:p

Fucking brutal dude. Well played.
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MOhillbilly
08-17-2009, 07:42 AM
75% of people are crazy? shit i thought the number would be higher. meh.

Reerun_KC
08-17-2009, 07:43 AM
There isnt a old flame that can replace Mrs Reerun_KC... After almost 20 years she still rocks!

Reerun_KC
08-17-2009, 07:44 AM
75% of people are crazy? shit i thought the number would be higher. meh.

90% of that 75% are here on CP....

Buehler445
08-17-2009, 07:51 AM
75% of people are crazy? shit i thought the number would be higher. meh.

I'm sure the accuracy rate of the study was /- 20%
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tooge
08-17-2009, 07:56 AM
I got a call from my first about 2 years ago and we chatted for a while on the phone. I certainly does elicit old feelings. Once I sat back and realized what i have in life now, I was able to simply smile and realize I was lucky to have had such a good time then as someting to grow from. That first relationship certainly shapes who we become. We still send e mails from time to time but I know that is all it would ever be. Besides, she got kinda fat :)

Rain Man
08-17-2009, 07:59 AM
my first true love was at my 20 year high school reunion. she never knew it, of course. maybe at the 30th i'll work up the courage to introduce myself and make small talk. then again, probably not.
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KC Jones
08-17-2009, 08:04 AM
I got a call from my first about 2 years ago and we chatted for a while on the phone. I certainly does elicit old feelings. Once I sat back and realized what i have in life now, I was able to simply smile and realize I was lucky to have had such a good time then as someting to grow from. That first relationship certainly shapes who we become. We still send e mails from time to time but I know that is all it would ever be. Besides, she got kinda fat :)

Yeah, it didn't hurt that mine was probably hotter at 38 than she was at 18. Nobody could ever mean to me what Mrs. Jones does - that's part of why I was so shocked that I had any feelings, much less such strong and passionate feelings.

gblowfish
08-17-2009, 08:05 AM
My high school girlfriend passed away last November from cancer. Very sad.
My college girlfriend is married with two kids, sends me emails occasionally.
My wife still likes me...
I think.

Reerun_KC
08-17-2009, 08:08 AM
My high school girlfriend passed away last November from cancer. Very sad.
My college girlfriend is married with two kids, sends me emails occasionally.
My wife still likes me...
I think.

That is not what she told me... :D


















J/K of course!

wild1
08-17-2009, 08:22 AM
You're just recalling these old buried feelings. You are not the same person you were, and she isn't either. What you saw was closer to an old photo. But I have been there and even tried to revisit it without success. I understand why it's alluring, usually there's a reason why it didn't work then and it's still the reason today. If you're very happily married, you don't gamble on that.

Otter
08-17-2009, 08:42 AM
Yeah, it didn't hurt that mine was probably hotter at 38 than she was at 18. Nobody could ever mean to me what Mrs. Jones does - that's part of why I was so shocked that I had any feelings, much less such strong and passionate feelings.

I ran into an ex from college at a wedding not too long ago and had the exact same experience. Great chemistry, great sex and the only reason we broke up is because I was going to school at Pitt and she was a couple hundred miles away doing marketing.

If she wouldn't have been married I would have approached the situation much different. But when it was over I went home, had a glass or two of good scotch, reminisced, jerked off and went to bed.

Walk it off. Dangerous territory.

MOhillbilly
08-17-2009, 08:45 AM
I run into exgirlfriends acouple times a year. Two on Sat. night. They still like me, but i dont like them.

Demonpenz
08-17-2009, 09:11 AM
I looked up some facebook old girlfriends and stalked them. put lovey type of shit on their facebook wall and knew they were too dumb to delete it. they soon were single again and both commited suicide. Facebook rules

RJ
08-17-2009, 09:20 AM
I looked up some facebook old girlfriends and stalked them. put lovey type of shit on their facebook wall and knew they were too dumb to delete it. they soon were single again and both commited suicide. Facebook rules



ROFL


And I love what you've done with your avatar.

Crashride
08-17-2009, 09:24 AM
I just got a hell of a shock. I went to a reunion and saw an old flame. I guess you could say my first true love. What was shocking was the emotions I felt when I saw her. I mean I felt like my world was turned upside down. I've thought of a couple of sappy metaphors since then, but thankfully I have the sense to spare you those.

Part of the reason it was so shocking to me I guess was that I am a very happily married man. I wouldn't trade my life or my family for anything in the world. Until I saw her I had no idea that I'd have any feelings at all for this woman. When I saw her I went over to say hi, someone caught my arm and spun me around for a quick chat and when I turned back she was gone. Later in the evening we ended up getting to say hi and then she admitted she was avoiding me because she was basically having the same feelings I was. We gave each other a quick hug and went our separate ways without letting ourselves near each other the rest of the night until she came by later to say a quick goodbye.

I guess this is part confession (I mean really, who else am I going to tell about this?) and part public service warning. Since getting back home I decided to look up the phenomenon of getting re-acquainted with lost loves and found that it's not at all uncommon and it's ruined plenty of perfectly good marriages. Psychologists theorize that it's emotional imprinting - when we're young and experiencing these emotions for the first time they are basically engraved in our brains very deeply. Here's the shocker and the warning part: Three in four married people who contact their first loves LEAVE their spouse, either emotionally and sexually with an affair, or fully with a divorce. :eek: From reviewing the topic, it's not like these people were necessarily young or had bad marriages either. A lot of them are in their 50's when this happens.

I'm just very happy that we didn't exchange any information and had the sense to avoid each other. I feel like I dodged a bullet. When I got back home to my wife and kids I felt so relieved and so happy. I feel a little guilty for having even had those feelings, but now that I read up about it I can understand it's probably just some chemical soup issues. Seeing the old flame triggered memories and released massive amounts of happy chemicals. whew.


You sir are a pro, and played the situation perfectly, same goes to the flame. The feelings are normal since your human, but you didnt give in. Good job.

REP added.

stevieray
08-17-2009, 09:28 AM
kudos eric...way to be strong.

those feelings might've been strong initially, but it's nostalgia more than anything.

you can't go back...it just isn't the same.

tooge
08-17-2009, 10:03 AM
My old flame was a girl from Nantucket....

Simply Red
08-17-2009, 10:17 AM
kudos eric...way to be strong.

those feelings might've been strong initially, but it's nostalgia more than anything.

you can't go back...it just isn't the same.

probably the best advice i could give, too. But nonetheless, interesting. So, was she hot? ;P

OctoberFart
08-17-2009, 10:19 AM
I'll bet she looked good to you and if she didn't you wouldn't of felt that way.

Buck
08-17-2009, 10:21 AM
Dont do it, its a trap.

I hope your wife or kids don't read this board.

Simply Red
08-17-2009, 10:23 AM
I just got a hell of a shock. I went to a reunion and saw an old flame. I guess you could say my first true love. What was shocking was the emotions I felt when I saw her. I mean I felt like my world was turned upside down. I've thought of a couple of sappy metaphors since then, but thankfully I have the sense to spare you those.

Part of the reason it was so shocking to me I guess was that I am a very happily married man. I wouldn't trade my life or my family for anything in the world. Until I saw her I had no idea that I'd have any feelings at all for this woman. When I saw her I went over to say hi, someone caught my arm and spun me around for a quick chat and when I turned back she was gone. Later in the evening we ended up getting to say hi and then she admitted she was avoiding me because she was basically having the same feelings I was. We gave each other a quick hug and went our separate ways without letting ourselves near each other the rest of the night until she came by later to say a quick goodbye.

I guess this is part confession (I mean really, who else am I going to tell about this?) and part public service warning. Since getting back home I decided to look up the phenomenon of getting re-acquainted with lost loves and found that it's not at all uncommon and it's ruined plenty of perfectly good marriages. Psychologists theorize that it's emotional imprinting - when we're young and experiencing these emotions for the first time they are basically engraved in our brains very deeply. Here's the shocker and the warning part: Three in four married people who contact their first loves LEAVE their spouse, either emotionally and sexually with an affair, or fully with a divorce. :eek: From reviewing the topic, it's not like these people were necessarily young or had bad marriages either. A lot of them are in their 50's when this happens.

I'm just very happy that we didn't exchange any information and had the sense to avoid each other. I feel like I dodged a bullet. When I got back home to my wife and kids I felt so relieved and so happy. I feel a little guilty for having even had those feelings, but now that I read up about it I can understand it's probably just some chemical soup issues. Seeing the old flame triggered memories and released massive amounts of happy chemicals. whew.


I've had 'chemical soup issues' too, so, I'm supposed to be ignoring them? :P

Donger
08-17-2009, 10:23 AM
I found out this weekend that my old love is trying to reach me.

Told the wife that fact.

She's not happy about it.

Iowanian
08-17-2009, 10:26 AM
If you had a time machine, you should have gone back, ruined her self esteme, put her on a twinkey bender and made her fat, so this moment would have been less painful.


That, or just be happy with your current station in life.


I married up far enough, this will never be an issue for me.

Lumpy
08-17-2009, 10:28 AM
I found out this weekend that my old love is trying to reach me.

Told the wife that fact.

She's not happy about it.

At least YOU weren't trying to look HER up. U could tell ur wife that and it might help ease the tension.

RJ
08-17-2009, 10:30 AM
I found out this weekend that my old love is trying to reach me.

Told the wife that fact.

She's not happy about it.



Why'd you tell her?

Katipan
08-17-2009, 10:30 AM
At least YOU weren't trying to look HER up. U could tell ur wife that and it might help ease the tension.

heheheh. If he's talking about the daily blow job girl, somehow I doubt it. :D

Donger
08-17-2009, 10:31 AM
At least YOU weren't trying to look HER up. U could tell ur wife that and it might help ease the tension.

I fully intend to get an increase in BJs out of it, yes.

Lumpy
08-17-2009, 10:31 AM
heheheh. If he's talking about the daily blow job girl, somehow I doubt it. :D

I must have missed that one.

Katipan
08-17-2009, 10:31 AM
I fully intend to get an increase in BJs out of it, yes.

LMAO LMAO

Donger
08-17-2009, 10:32 AM
Why'd you tell her?

I wouldn't even consider keeping something like that from my wife.

Lumpy
08-17-2009, 10:34 AM
I wouldn't even consider keeping something like that from my wife.

Spoken like a REAL man. Rep!

Simply Red
08-17-2009, 10:35 AM
awww

Donger
08-17-2009, 10:39 AM
LMAO LMAO

You are evil.

keg in kc
08-17-2009, 10:49 AM
I have a hard time remembering the names of people I've dated, so I don't think this is something I'll ever have to deal with. Score one for detachment.

RJ
08-17-2009, 10:50 AM
I wouldn't even consider keeping something like that from my wife.


Because you seek personal gain (i.e. increaed BJ frequency) or because you might get called on it later?

Iowanian
08-17-2009, 10:56 AM
At least YOU weren't trying to look HER up. U could tell ur wife that and it might help ease the tension.

Except for the fact that by "her trying to look him up" he meant "she accepted his friend request on facebook"

Lumpy
08-17-2009, 10:58 AM
Except for the fact that by "her trying to look him up" he meant "she accepted his friend request on facebook"

:doh!:

Mr. Plow
08-17-2009, 11:04 AM
I just got a hell of a shock. I went to a reunion and saw an old flame. I guess you could say my first true love. What was shocking was the emotions I felt when I saw her. I mean I felt like my world was turned upside down. I've thought of a couple of sappy metaphors since then, but thankfully I have the sense to spare you those.

Part of the reason it was so shocking to me I guess was that I am a very happily married man. I wouldn't trade my life or my family for anything in the world. Until I saw her I had no idea that I'd have any feelings at all for this woman. When I saw her I went over to say hi, someone caught my arm and spun me around for a quick chat and when I turned back she was gone. Later in the evening we ended up getting to say hi and then she admitted she was avoiding me because she was basically having the same feelings I was. We gave each other a quick hug and went our separate ways without letting ourselves near each other the rest of the night until she came by later to say a quick goodbye.

I guess this is part confession (I mean really, who else am I going to tell about this?) and part public service warning. Since getting back home I decided to look up the phenomenon of getting re-acquainted with lost loves and found that it's not at all uncommon and it's ruined plenty of perfectly good marriages. Psychologists theorize that it's emotional imprinting - when we're young and experiencing these emotions for the first time they are basically engraved in our brains very deeply. Here's the shocker and the warning part: Three in four married people who contact their first loves LEAVE their spouse, either emotionally and sexually with an affair, or fully with a divorce. :eek: From reviewing the topic, it's not like these people were necessarily young or had bad marriages either. A lot of them are in their 50's when this happens.

I'm just very happy that we didn't exchange any information and had the sense to avoid each other. I feel like I dodged a bullet. When I got back home to my wife and kids I felt so relieved and so happy. I feel a little guilty for having even had those feelings, but now that I read up about it I can understand it's probably just some chemical soup issues. Seeing the old flame triggered memories and released massive amounts of happy chemicals. whew.


Been there man. I know what you are saying completely. It's best just to leave it where it belongs....the past. It's what I did because like others have said, I am happy where I am and wouldn't want it any other way.

Donger
08-17-2009, 11:05 AM
Because you seek personal gain (i.e. increaed BJ frequency) or because you might get called on it later?

I didn't want to keep her in the dark about it. The former is a mere bonus.

patteeu
08-17-2009, 12:18 PM
my first true love was at my 20 year high school reunion. she never knew it, of course. maybe at the 30th i'll work up the courage to introduce myself and make small talk. then again, probably not.
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That sounds familiar. My daughter's first boyfriend turned out to be the nephew of the first girl I had a big crush on (from the 2nd grade until sometime in junior high). She never knew it either, as far as I know, but I remember fondly the time she was assigned as my partner in PE square dancing! LOL

alanm
08-17-2009, 12:29 PM
I ran into an ex from college at a wedding not too long ago and had the exact same experience. Great chemistry, great sex and the only reason we broke up is because I was going to school at Pitt and she was a couple hundred miles away doing marketing.

If she wouldn't have been married I would have approached the situation much different. But when it was over I went home, had a glass or two of good scotch, reminisced, jerked off and went to bed.

Walk it off. Dangerous territory.Wise choice. :thumb:

ChiefaRoo
08-17-2009, 12:29 PM
I just got a hell of a shock. I went to a reunion and saw an old flame. I guess you could say my first true love. What was shocking was the emotions I felt when I saw her. I mean I felt like my world was turned upside down. I've thought of a couple of sappy metaphors since then, but thankfully I have the sense to spare you those.

Part of the reason it was so shocking to me I guess was that I am a very happily married man. I wouldn't trade my life or my family for anything in the world. Until I saw her I had no idea that I'd have any feelings at all for this woman. When I saw her I went over to say hi, someone caught my arm and spun me around for a quick chat and when I turned back she was gone. Later in the evening we ended up getting to say hi and then she admitted she was avoiding me because she was basically having the same feelings I was. We gave each other a quick hug and went our separate ways without letting ourselves near each other the rest of the night until she came by later to say a quick goodbye.

I guess this is part confession (I mean really, who else am I going to tell about this?) and part public service warning. Since getting back home I decided to look up the phenomenon of getting re-acquainted with lost loves and found that it's not at all uncommon and it's ruined plenty of perfectly good marriages. Psychologists theorize that it's emotional imprinting - when we're young and experiencing these emotions for the first time they are basically engraved in our brains very deeply. Here's the shocker and the warning part: Three in four married people who contact their first loves LEAVE their spouse, either emotionally and sexually with an affair, or fully with a divorce. :eek: From reviewing the topic, it's not like these people were necessarily young or had bad marriages either. A lot of them are in their 50's when this happens.

I'm just very happy that we didn't exchange any information and had the sense to avoid each other. I feel like I dodged a bullet. When I got back home to my wife and kids I felt so relieved and so happy. I feel a little guilty for having even had those feelings, but now that I read up about it I can understand it's probably just some chemical soup issues. Seeing the old flame triggered memories and released massive amounts of happy chemicals. whew.

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:)

Pioli Zombie
08-17-2009, 12:31 PM
I did that once...................ONCE

What, had sex?
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Frazod
08-17-2009, 02:09 PM
My first love was a sick evil bitch. The only falling I'd like to see would be her falling in a deep pit with poisoned spikes at the bottom.

Although she'd probably manipulate me into falling into it first.

:cuss:

KC Jones
08-17-2009, 08:43 PM
That's really very sweet but you didn't even know the chick anymore.

I couldn't imagine my brain operating that way. The guys I dated in high school were children. I can't associate them any other way. My memories and thoughts would be of child like joy.

No offense, but I have to imagine all of the men you dated were children, or at least very childlike.

Katipan
08-17-2009, 09:09 PM
No offense, but I have to imagine all of the men you dated were children, or at least very childlike.

i have no earthly idea what behavior you deem childlike so it's pretty hard to be offended
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big nasty kcnut
08-17-2009, 09:24 PM
Had crushes in high school. but too damn shy to act on them. If i did go to a high school reunion i might try to act on some of my crushes maybe.
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Simply Red
08-17-2009, 09:29 PM
BOOM SHAAKA LAHKAAA!!!