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onescrewleftuntwisted
08-22-2009, 10:55 PM
i asked my girlfriend what her plans were in june of next year she said she didnt have a clue so i suggested we get married and handed her a ring. now i am realizing that i opened a door to a hallway, that isnt going to end until june 12 next year. this is all a first to me shes rambling stuff off like shes knew it the whole time all ready wants me to start looking at tuxes, flowers, seating charts, whos side will this person sit on and so on and so on.



to be honest with you all it, scares the living shit right out of me.

any opinions would be great.



BTW didnt used to have this prefix thing on here hope i put this in the right category wouldnt want to piss of rainman or phobia or floridachief

Buehler445
08-22-2009, 10:59 PM
Dude. One step at a time. It will all be good.

My recommendation is to ALWAYS lobby for the least difficult procedure for everything. If you can land shit in a location where all you have to do is show up, that's what you need to be doing, none of this do it yourself, make it yourself, find it yourself shit. That's when shit doesn't go right and people get pissed.

One step at a time.

CONGRATULATIONS!

alanm
08-22-2009, 11:02 PM
Whatever you do don't open up the 9 years and 3 kids later thread. :D

Bugeater
08-22-2009, 11:02 PM
Pioli Zombie whining about his failed marriage in 3...2...1...

Phobia
08-22-2009, 11:03 PM
Congrats. I don't care about your categories.

Here's my opinion. Put a couple of bucks into your marriage. I'm not talking about date night and gifts for her. I'm talking about attending a marriage class. Buy a couple of books about marriage. Learn why women are different than us. Learn that when she tells you about her problems she doesn't actually want you to fix it. She just wants you to listen to her. Make her feel loved the way she wants to feel loved which doesn't actually include sex - that's how she makes you feel loved. Take 45 seconds every day to call her for no reason at all - "Miss you" or "How is your day?"

I don't know how old you are but it took me 2 marriages and a combined decade of marriage to learn the above. If you can take those simple couple of things into the relationship before you're married - wow, you'll be a leg up on everybody else.

Buehler445
08-22-2009, 11:06 PM
Congrats. I don't care about your categories.

Here's my opinion. Put a couple of bucks into your marriage. I'm not talking about date night and gifts for her. I'm talking about attending a marriage class. Buy a couple of books about marriage. Learn why women are different than us. Learn that when she tells you about her problems she doesn't actually want you to fix it. She just wants you to listen to her. Make her feel loved the way she wants to feel loved which doesn't actually include sex - that's how she makes you feel loved. Take 45 seconds every day to call her for no reason at all - "Miss you" or "How is your day?"

I don't know how old you are but it took me 2 marriages and a combined decade of marriage to learn the above. If you can take those simple couple of things into the relationship before you're married - wow, you'll be a leg up on everybody else.

That's good advice. The biggest thing I know about making a relationship of any kind work is effective communication. Not just saying and hearing words, but understanding the other person's position. Work on it everyday. As a society, we are pretty terrible at it.

cdcox
08-22-2009, 11:07 PM
I proposed over the phone. We got married six weeks later. It was a pretty simple deal. I wore a suit, my wife borrowed a dress from my cousin, we got married in a small chapel with about 50 guests, had the reception at a holiday inn.

If I had it to do over, I'd do it the exact same way. Quick, no fuss, no drama.

Douche Baggins
08-22-2009, 11:08 PM
If I had it to do over, I'd do it the exact same way. Quick, no fuss, no drama.

Did you consummate the marriage in the backseat?

Fire Me Boy!
08-22-2009, 11:08 PM
Elope. Everyone I've talked to, including myself and my wife, as well as her parents and mine, have said if we had to do it over again we'd skip the wedding and elope.

Keep the marriage, skip the ceremony. :)

Best of luck to you and your bride-to-be. But be careful... she might have TEETH down there.

Saccopoo
08-22-2009, 11:09 PM
i asked my girlfriend what her plans were in june of next year she said she didnt have a clue so i suggested we get married and handed her a ring. now i am realizing that i opened a door to a hallway, that isnt going to end until june 12 next year. this is all a first to me shes rambling stuff off like shes knew it the whole time all ready wants me to start looking at tuxes, flowers, seating charts, whos side will this person sit on and so on and so on.



to be honest with you all it, scares the living shit right out of me.

any opinions would be great.

I'll give you an opinion...

Once she hits about 35 till she's about 50, she is going to screw some dude, then tell you she doesn't love you anymore and wants a divorce. You might work through it, and stick it out, because of the kids and whatnot, but it will hang over your head for the rest of your life. It will gnaw at your very existence. And if you get a divorce, she'll get the house and all the memories, or you get it, but you have to pay her the equity plus 50% of everything you own and you will be broke, bitter, spiteful and leery of every woman you will meet for the rest of your life.

But you'll probably have a nice honeymoon. Go somewhere nice. Take all the sightseeing trips and have nice dinners and romantic evenings.

Buehler445
08-22-2009, 11:10 PM
I proposed over the phone. We got married six weeks later. It was a pretty simple deal. I wore a suit, my wife borrowed a dress from my cousin, we got married in a small chapel with about 50 guests, had the reception at a holiday inn.

If I had it to do over, I'd do it the exact same way. Quick, no fuss, no drama.

I hate big stupid weddings. HATE them. My buddy pulled one off, but most of them are just atrociously painful. And if you polled the guests, they don't get too much out of the details that people slave over.

But if it makes the bride and groom happy, that's what they need to do. I just don't like it. Mine was relatively simple also.

luv
08-22-2009, 11:11 PM
Congrats. I don't care about your categories.

Here's my opinion. Put a couple of bucks into your marriage. I'm not talking about date night and gifts for her. I'm talking about attending a marriage class. Buy a couple of books about marriage. Learn why women are different than us. Learn that when she tells you about her problems she doesn't actually want you to fix it. She just wants you to listen to her. Make her feel loved the way she wants to feel loved which doesn't actually include sex - that's how she makes you feel loved. Take 45 seconds every day to call her for no reason at all - "Miss you" or "How is your day?"

I don't know how old you are but it took me 2 marriages and a combined decade of marriage to learn the above. If you can take those simple couple of things into the relationship before you're married - wow, you'll be a leg up on everybody else.

Pink's done a great job training you.

sedated
08-22-2009, 11:11 PM
Learn why women are different than us.

they never fart? or the vagina thing?

Fire Me Boy!
08-22-2009, 11:13 PM
they never fart?

Heh... OK.

:shake:

sedated
08-22-2009, 11:13 PM
Pink's done a great job training you.

there are women that still think they can train men? hahahahaha.

Bugeater
08-22-2009, 11:14 PM
Pink's done a great job training you.
I'm sure she was looking over his shoulder as he typed that.

sedated
08-22-2009, 11:14 PM
Heh... OK.

:shake:

my sister told me so.

luv
08-22-2009, 11:14 PM
Congrats.

Every woman is different, but most of us dream about what our wedding day will be like. She's excited. Let her do her thing. You'll find out that, if you want a big wedding, some of the planning must be done well in advance. Photographer, cake, flowers sometimes need to be ordered early before dates fill up (especially since you're getting married in a popular wedding month), and bride's maids have to go on their diets.

Fire Me Boy!
08-22-2009, 11:16 PM
Congrats.

Every woman is different, but most of us dream about what our wedding day will be like. She's excited. Let her do her thing. You'll find out that, if you want a big wedding, some of the planning must be done well in advance. Photographer, cake, flowers sometimes need to be ordered early before dates fill up (especially since you're getting married in a popular wedding month), and bride's maids have to go on their diets.

They say when you marry in June, you're a bride all your life. And the bridegroom who marries in June, gets a sweetheart for a wife.

OK. I'm done posting Broadway showtunes. Here's my mancard.

onescrewleftuntwisted
08-22-2009, 11:19 PM
wow either every body's in a good mood tonight or else there are some posters not at the show thanks for the advice i will try to get in here more often good to hear your still here phobia didnt think you were around last time i was in here

luv
08-22-2009, 11:19 PM
If/when I get married, it's going to be a small ceremony. I'm focusing my time, money, and attention on the reception.

Dallas Chief
08-22-2009, 11:23 PM
They say when you marry in June, you're a bride all your life. And the bridegroom who marries in June, gets a sweetheart for a wife.

OK. I'm done posting Broadway showtunes. Here's my mancard.

DUDE! I just threw up in my mouth! I was gonna crow on Phobia for his speech, but this takes the cake.LMAO

Fish
08-22-2009, 11:23 PM
****ing enough with the relationship threads....

:p

Congrats man. Best of luck. :toast:

DeezNutz
08-22-2009, 11:25 PM
You have approximately a 9-month window in which you might continue to receive blowjobs.

Congrats.

Fire Me Boy!
08-22-2009, 11:25 PM
DUDE! I just threw up in my mouth! I was gonna crow on Phobia for his speech, but this takes the cake.LMAO

ROFL ROFL ROFL

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers sits right next to Se7en on my DVD shelf. How weird is that?

cdcox
08-22-2009, 11:25 PM
Did you consummate the marriage in the backseat?

That's kind of a funny story.

We were young and broke when we got married. We really didn't plan to have a honeymoon. So her grandpa offers to give us a honeymoon trip to Florida as our wedding present. He lived in Flordia and drove up to Missouri for the wedding and we rode back with him to Florida. So we head out after the reception about mid afternoon, me, my new bride and her grandpa.

Our plan was to stop in Nashville. We get to Nashville and I'm really ready to stop. Nashville is completely booked due to some event in town. So we head another 40 minutes or so down the road to Murfeesboro. It's like 11:00 at night. Not many places to stay here either. We end up at this seedy hotel. As her grandpa looks through the window into the lobby he says "Indians!" Before we get out of the car he tells us there is a family by the name of Patel that runs similar establishments all over the country. Sure enough, the guy behind the counter's last name turns out to be Patel.

Our room (yes, grandpa had his own room) didn't have a shower curtain. The bed had a coin slot if you wanted it to vibrate. The air conditioner sounded like a chain saw. Not the nicest digs.

The rest of the honey moon was very nice though. After the trip down, Grandpa pretty much left us on our own. We spent a few days in Tampa and a few days in Orlando. We never could have taken a trip like that without his generous gift.

Saccopoo
08-22-2009, 11:27 PM
wow either every body's in a good mood tonight or else there are some posters not at the show thanks for the advice i will try to get in here more often good to hear your still here phobia didnt think you were around last time i was in here

Read my first post on Page 1. I'm not shitting you. It will happen. It's happened to every single person I know. Everyone.

Phobia
08-22-2009, 11:47 PM
Pink's done a great job training you.

Well, that's partially true but I had to put most of the selfish self on the back shelf and make some decisions as well. It's been a transformation over the past 3 years. We're not done yet but our relationship is better than it ever was even though we're broke - even better than when we shacked up for 4 years and each made 6 figures.

Bugeater
08-22-2009, 11:56 PM
Read my first post on Page 1. I'm not shitting you. It will happen. It's happened to every single person I know. Everyone.
If that's true then you must hang around a bunch of idiots who get married to the wrong women for the wrong reasons.

salame
08-22-2009, 11:59 PM
http://www.dickdestiny.com/uglyguyindresssmall.JPG

-King-
08-23-2009, 12:02 AM
Congrats. I don't care about your categories.

Here's my opinion. Put a couple of bucks into your marriage. I'm not talking about date night and gifts for her. I'm talking about attending a marriage class. Buy a couple of books about marriage. Learn why women are different than us. Learn that when she tells you about her problems she doesn't actually want you to fix it. She just wants you to listen to her. Make her feel loved the way she wants to feel loved which doesn't actually include sex - that's how she makes you feel loved. Take 45 seconds every day to call her for no reason at all - "Miss you" or "How is your day?"

I don't know how old you are but it took me 2 marriages and a combined decade of marriage to learn the above. If you can take those simple couple of things into the relationship before you're married - wow, you'll be a leg up on everybody else.

One of the truest things I've heard about marriage.

Saccopoo
08-23-2009, 12:19 AM
If that's true then you must hang around a bunch of idiots who get married to the wrong women for the wrong reasons.

No, pretty much the standard reasons - I love her, she loves me, she's the only one for me, etc.

It might not happen to everyone, but I've never met anyone that it hasn't happened to. Neighbors, grandparents, friends, co-workers, etc.

Blind trust is a foolish thing, and marriage tends to give credence to such a concept. Like I said, I'm sure that there are the few and far between cases where a couple does have a completely pure monogamous relationship. But I just haven't ever seen it.

sedated
08-23-2009, 12:24 AM
Blind trust is a foolish thing, and marriage tends to give credence to such a concept. Like I said, I'm sure that there are the few and far between cases where a couple does have a completely pure monogamous relationship. But I just haven't ever seen it.

I have a feeling you are the next one with a "I've been cheated on" thread. do you have something you need to get off your chest?

Saccopoo
08-23-2009, 12:41 AM
I have a feeling you are the next one with a "I've been cheated on" thread. do you have something you need to get off your chest?

Just calls 'em as I sees 'em.

I've heard the "I've never done this before." (neighbors wife), "I'd never cheat on my husband." (four hours later she's buck naked in a pretzel position), "I'm not a cheater." (ex-girlfriend prior to an evening long baby oil sex olympics marathon), "I swear to God I've never slept with anyone." (my ex-wife - which was classic as I was her third husband with all three marriages ending in divorce due to infidelity), "I don't love you anymore and want a divorce." (my cousin's wife to him two days ago, after her boyfriend called their house at midnight looking for her), "I got lonely when he was away on business, but it was only once." (another ex-girlfriend who was contemplating a divorce because her husband was cheating on her), "I don't think I can do this." (prior to nailing some broad in the front seat of my car in front of her and husbands house), "I love my husband." (just prior to getting naked in her office during work), etc., etc., etc., et al.

I could go on all night with this.

It happens.

Bugeater
08-23-2009, 12:44 AM
"I swear to God I've never slept with anyone." (my ex-wife - which was classic as I was her third husband with all three marriages ending in divorce due to infidelity), .
Hahahaha...now it comes out. Tell me something, how the fuck did you expect yours to end after the first two ended that way?

Phobia
08-23-2009, 12:56 AM
Just calls 'em as I sees 'em.

I've heard the "I've never done this before." (neighbors wife), "I'd never cheat on my husband." (four hours later she's buck naked in a pretzel position), "I'm not a cheater." (ex-girlfriend prior to an evening long baby oil sex olympics marathon), "I swear to God I've never slept with anyone." (my ex-wife - which was classic as I was her third husband with all three marriages ending in divorce due to infidelity), "I don't love you anymore and want a divorce." (my cousin's wife to him two days ago, after her boyfriend called their house at midnight looking for her), "I got lonely when he was away on business, but it was only once." (another ex-girlfriend who was contemplating a divorce because her husband was cheating on her), "I don't think I can do this." (prior to nailing some broad in the front seat of my car in front of her and husbands house), "I love my husband." (just prior to getting naked in her office during work), etc., etc., etc., et al.

I could go on all night with this.

It happens.

Sounds to me like you're part of the problem.

I have no patience for men who willingly and knowingly participate in a wife's infidelity - or a man who cheats on his wife. At least you got yours though. Way to go homewrecker.

trndobrd
08-23-2009, 12:57 AM
i asked my girlfriend what her plans were in june of next year she said she didnt have a clue so i suggested we get married and handed her a ring. now i am realizing that i opened a door to a hallway, that isnt going to end until june 12 next year. this is all a first to me shes rambling stuff off like shes knew it the whole time all ready wants me to start looking at tuxes, flowers, seating charts, whos side will this person sit on and so on and so on.



to be honest with you all it, scares the living shit right out of me.

any opinions would be great.



BTW didnt used to have this prefix thing on here hope i put this in the right category wouldnt want to piss of rainman or phobia or floridachief


Like all women, bride's minds are full of a million wonderful things, in no particular order. As the man, it's your job to bring order to this chaos. Get used to it.

We did the big wedding thing and here are a couple suggestions:

1) Decide on a budget. Stick to the budget. When she gets her heart set on the nine-tier wedding cake with the animatronic bride and groom, force her to decide where the corresponding cuts are going to be made elsewhere.

2) Insist on having a say in the colors. This seems kind of sissy, but the catastrophic impact of putting all your groomsmen in light brown suits with yellow ties, is too much to risk.

3) Make sure everyone gets involved. Make sure the bride is handing off projects (table runners, center pieces, etc.) to the aunts, grandmothers, and Mother-in-law's church friends. These people want to feel involved and it saves you money.

4) Gear everything for the guests. Everyone has been to weddings that suck: Stuck in the activity room of a church, milling around with a bunch of people you don't know for 2 hours while the wedding party takes pictures. Mentally walk through the wedding as if you were a guest. (we had a couple frozen margarita machines going while the wedding party took pictures).

5) Keep the expectations realistic. The wedding will not be perfect. No one cares as long as they have a good time and the two of you end up married at the end of the night. Enjoy the unexpected (the sole of my shoe fell off and it started pouring rain during our departure in the convertable.)

6) Give the DJ a list of songs you want played. I also gave the DJ a list of songs that he would not play, and that if he did play them, he would not get paid. The DJ will turn a deaf ear to Aunt Ruth's request for the chicken dance if he knows he will walk away empty handed.

7) Go to the pre-marriage counseling.

8) Be ruthless on the guest list. More people means more cost for the reception.

9) Get a good wedding master checklist. You don't want to be the couple who plan the perfect wedding, but forget the minister. However, avoid using every checklist from every bridal magazine (may God have mercy on the publisher's souls), they serve no purpose other than to fill the bride's mind with more wonderful things.

10) Set a budget. Stick to the budget.

Saccopoo
08-23-2009, 01:03 AM
Hahahaha...now it comes out. Tell me something, how the **** did you expect yours to end after the first two ended that way?

Actually, I figured that nobody could fuck up a third, especially after we had multiple conversations on that topic prior to getting engaged and married. So it goes though. Some people have deep seated emotional issues that create such an environment. Some people just want to get laid. Some people like the "thrill" of an affair. All I'm saying is that it happens a lot. More than most would like to admit or experience. And marriage imparts a psychological trust level that allows for a person to cheat and have an emotional barrier to help them block such actions from even being considered plausible by the other person.

Human beings are not naturally monogamous animals. Some species are. Humans are not. However, we do have the ability to conceptualize and rationalize above the "natural instinct/law/biological impulses" level and have the capability of making choices other animals species do not. It takes a conscious decision to refrain from an "affair." More often than not, that decision never takes place.

Saccopoo
08-23-2009, 01:11 AM
Sounds to me like you're part of the problem.

I have no patience for men who willingly and knowingly participate in a wife's infidelity - or a man who cheats on his wife. At least you got yours though. Way to go homewrecker.

Call it karma. I remained faithful and never cheated for the ten years that I was married. But I also slept with a number of married woman prior to that. And I do have guilt about some of them. Some more than others. It's an emotional burden that I'll carry for the rest of my life. In fact, it has a lot to do with why I've been celibate for the past four and a half years.

But you'd be a fool to think that it was human nature to be monogamous. It takes a lot of willpower to remain faithful. Most people don't employ that willpower, especially in moments of physical passion that tend to overwhelm all other senses.

Phobia
08-23-2009, 01:31 AM
I appreciate that you regret those decisions, you've recognized your failures and done something about it.

The trick to managing that temptation is to never put yourself into that situation. I'm guessing it would be incredible difficult for me to resist a smokin hot woman throwing herself at me, which is why I avoid those potential situations.

Saccopoo
08-23-2009, 01:51 AM
I appreciate that you regret those decisions, you've recognized your failures and done something about it.

The trick to managing that temptation is to never put yourself into that situation. I'm guessing it would be incredible difficult for me to resist a smokin hot woman throwing herself at me, which is why I avoid those potential situations.

Absolutely. There were four or five times during the course of my marriage that I made the decision not to do whatever, a couple I now regret (but really don't - weird, I know). I just tried to avoid any potential problems that would sit on me emotionally, and tried to never put myself in situations where things might/could/would get out of control. That's the human's ability to reason that sets us above the rest of the animal kingdom. However, most people, because everyone wants to be loved, desired, wanted from either/both an emotional/psychological/physical standpoint, and that desire is immensely strong. From my experiences, most people, in the end, cave in to those base desires. It's the special person(s) and the special relationship that can resist those temptations. Unfortunately, from my own personal viewpoint, most people don't, and take advantage of that "special relationship" concept and use it to cover those base actions.

Slainte
08-23-2009, 03:42 AM
BTW didnt used to have this prefix thing on here hope i put this in the right category wouldnt want to piss of rainman or phobia or floridachief

JFC. I haven't spoken to or about you in years. WTF you calling me out for?

Anyway, good luck on your impending nuptials. You've already gotten good advice in this thread. I could only add that it's work. Like any job that's worth doing, it needs to be worked at consistently. Myself, I only know the failure of it. Personally, I'm too self-centered to ever make a marriage work. I just pretty much sit around and envy those that can do it...

Skip Towne
08-23-2009, 05:34 AM
Elope. That is all.

Sully
08-23-2009, 06:10 AM
Congrats. I don't care about your categories.

Here's my opinion. Put a couple of bucks into your marriage. I'm not talking about date night and gifts for her. I'm talking about attending a marriage class. Buy a couple of books about marriage. Learn why women are different than us. Learn that when she tells you about her problems she doesn't actually want you to fix it. She just wants you to listen to her. Make her feel loved the way she wants to feel loved which doesn't actually include sex - that's how she makes you feel loved. Take 45 seconds every day to call her for no reason at all - "Miss you" or "How is your day?"

I don't know how old you are but it took me 2 marriages and a combined decade of marriage to learn the above. If you can take those simple couple of things into the relationship before you're married - wow, you'll be a leg up on everybody else.

This.
I always liked the Dr Phil (I know, I know) quote, "most people spend more tim e thinking about their wedding than they do their marriage."

Take phobia's advice, and you'll be fine.

And Congrats!

Pioli Zombie
08-23-2009, 06:22 AM
Pioli Zombie whining about his failed marriage in 3...2...1...

Bugeater or Skip Towne starting shit in .....oh wait. They already did! Do you canker sores of human beings have anything better to do than to harass the shit of me for something everybody else does here?

Fuck yourselves up the ass with broken bottles, ok?
Posted via Mobile Device

Pioli Zombie
08-23-2009, 06:27 AM
I'll give you an opinion...

Once she hits about 35 till she's about 50, she is going to screw some dude, then tell you she doesn't love you anymore and wants a divorce. You might work through it, and stick it out, because of the kids and whatnot, but it will hang over your head for the rest of your life. It will gnaw at your very existence. And if you get a divorce, she'll get the house and all the memories, or you get it, but you have to pay her the equity plus 50% of everything you own and you will be broke, bitter, spiteful and leery of every woman you will meet for the rest of your life.

But you'll probably have a nice honeymoon. Go somewhere nice. Take all the sightseeing trips and have nice dinners and romantic evenings.
Uh-oh, Bugeater and Skip Towne, the post Police, won't like the tone of this. Ooooooh.
Posted via Mobile Device

Boon
08-23-2009, 08:08 AM
Enjoy the final blow jobs you are to receive.
They are fast coming to an end.

ziggysocki
08-23-2009, 08:23 AM
Congrats. I don't care about your categories.

Here's my opinion. Put a couple of bucks into your marriage. I'm not talking about date night and gifts for her. I'm talking about attending a marriage class. Buy a couple of books about marriage. Learn why women are different than us. Learn that when she tells you about her problems she doesn't actually want you to fix it. She just wants you to listen to her. Make her feel loved the way she wants to feel loved which doesn't actually include sex - that's how she makes you feel loved. Take 45 seconds every day to call her for no reason at all - "Miss you" or "How is your day?"

I don't know how old you are but it took me 2 marriages and a combined decade of marriage to learn the above. If you can take those simple couple of things into the relationship before you're married - wow, you'll be a leg up on everybody else.

Great post! This phobia guy is the real deal.

JD10367
08-23-2009, 09:14 AM
Go to Vegas.

We live in Rhode Island. My parents are in Florida, hers are in New Jersey, I have friends in Massachussetts. We said, "F**k it, let's go to Vegas." No expensive church or meal or arrangements or reception. You can have a nice little wedding that isn't tacky: don't do it at a crappy Strip wedding chapel, do it in a casino. We had ours at the Tropicana, in their little Polynesian-style chapel in the pool area. Elvis was not there. For additional fees they'll handle the license and a few other things. We had our post-wedding meal right at the casino.

Al Bundy
08-23-2009, 09:49 AM
Yeah.. you're fucked.

Chieftain58
08-23-2009, 10:09 AM
You have approximately a 9-month window in which you might continue to receive blowjobs.

Congrats.

AMEN TO THAT!! and on the rare ocassion you get her drunk enough to do it again! enjoy while you can........

BigVE
08-23-2009, 10:17 AM
Congrats man. I think that the advice that I would offer about the wedding experience itself is this: have fun. After a while it tends to become more work and stress and more stress but try to go with the flow, make your lady happy and try to have fun yourself. Our actual wedding party dinner/wedding/reception was OK but ended up being more of a chore for me than necessary. Perhaps thats because we were so young and dumb and I also think it's because the people around us weren't much help so alot of burden was put on my shoulders that probably shouldn't have. As for marriage advice...I got none really. Been married 19 years somehow, it's work and takes regular "tune-ups" to make sure things are running smoothly. Some others have posted some negative things but keep in mind a telling stat: most WOMEN cheat because of an emotional need...never forget this.

wutamess
08-23-2009, 01:56 PM
Congrats. I don't care about your categories.

Here's my opinion. Put a couple of bucks into your marriage. I'm not talking about date night and gifts for her. I'm talking about attending a marriage class. Buy a couple of books about marriage. Learn why women are different than us. Learn that when she tells you about her problems she doesn't actually want you to fix it. She just wants you to listen to her. Make her feel loved the way she wants to feel loved which doesn't actually include sex - that's how she makes you feel loved. Take 45 seconds every day to call her for no reason at all - "Miss you" or "How is your day?"

I don't know how old you are but it took me 2 marriages and a combined decade of marriage to learn the above. If you can take those simple couple of things into the relationship before you're married - wow, you'll be a leg up on everybody else.

Or you could just "not think about stuff rationally" but think about their emotions and you'll be ok.

Pestilence
08-23-2009, 02:01 PM
1 month before the wedding........it's going to be hell.

Have fun with inviting people though.....that's a pain in the ass.

Congrats though....seriously.

Predarat
08-23-2009, 06:52 PM
If you truely love this girl you need to leave the planet right away. When your in the index click the blue people thread and read them and you will know what i mean lol.

Dallas Chief
08-23-2009, 07:05 PM
I appreciate that you regret those decisions, you've recognized your failures and done something about it.

The trick to managing that temptation is to never put yourself into that situation. I'm guessing it would be incredible difficult for me to resist a smokin hot woman throwing herself at me, which is why I avoid those potential situations.

Now that is a great bit of advice. It is also the toughest to follow. It has kept me out of trouble more times than I care to count. Rep dude!:toast:

crazycoffey
08-24-2009, 01:24 AM
Congrats. I don't care about your categories.

Here's my opinion. Put a couple of bucks into your marriage. I'm not talking about date night and gifts for her. I'm talking about attending a marriage class. Buy a couple of books about marriage. Learn why women are different than us. Learn that when she tells you about her problems she doesn't actually want you to fix it. She just wants you to listen to her. Make her feel loved the way she wants to feel loved which doesn't actually include sex - that's how she makes you feel loved. Take 45 seconds every day to call her for no reason at all - "Miss you" or "How is your day?"

I don't know how old you are but it took me 2 marriages and a combined decade of marriage to learn the above. If you can take those simple couple of things into the relationship before you're married - wow, you'll be a leg up on everybody else.

This is why Phobia is so smart, I can't even pick one sentence I want to highlight and bold, because they are all so true.....
(for me personally, even the two failed marriages part, LOL)

KCChiefsMan
08-24-2009, 01:39 AM
flip a coin, that's the odds that it will last. I have a funny story about the other day. My roommate has this girl over, they are messing around in his room while I'm watching football in the living room. They come out and watch the game for a little bit and this chick starts talking about how her husband is such a big Chiefs fan. Then she mentions that he's a great guy, right after she just had an affair. Don't get married dude!

stumppy
08-24-2009, 03:40 AM
Congrats. I don't care about your categories.

Here's my opinion. Put a couple of bucks into your marriage. I'm not talking about date night and gifts for her. I'm talking about attending a marriage class. Buy a couple of books about marriage. Learn why women are different than us. Learn that when she tells you about her problems she doesn't actually want you to fix it. She just wants you to listen to her. Make her feel loved the way she wants to feel loved which doesn't actually include sex - that's how she makes you feel loved. Take 45 seconds every day to call her for no reason at all - "Miss you" or "How is your day?"

I don't know how old you are but it took me 2 marriages and a combined decade of marriage to learn the above. If you can take those simple couple of things into the relationship before you're married - wow, you'll be a leg up on everybody else.


I'd like to add one thing to Phobias advice.

Don't sweat the little shit.