View Full Version : U.S. Issues Outrage over progress 4 years after katrina

08-28-2009, 09:33 AM
Study's show most if not all of New Orleans is not back to normal four years after hurricane Katrina. This is sparking outrage and anger with citizens of the city once known for it's arts and jazz. "There's still buildings and houses down, and the filth well it is all over the place" says local business man Bryce Brycerton. "I can barely get my dice to roll through the mud." As you may recall most if not all the people in the world and even america were the first to voice outrag at FEMA and George Bush for lack of planning, development, or hygene. "When fema got in here all they had was ramon and and bottled water....I told my wife I pay sales taxes. Where the fuck are my Funyons" Said local resident Rafael Jones. "This isn't a race thing either because I am Caucaxican de negro" helicopter pilots on that day were expected to be tried for misconduct as they flew away even after resdents shot guns in the air to show them where to be rescued. "I shot the shit out of that thing and they sped away, all wheeeee weeerrrr chop chop chop chop"
There are plans for a super levee to be built but who knows if that will ever be built.
Lesbian orginization for people doing right were unable to comment if the dykes will be in place by next year

atchison times

08-28-2009, 09:35 AM
Get off your asses and fix your own town/beer looter dude

dirk digler
08-28-2009, 09:37 AM



08-28-2009, 09:37 AM

08-28-2009, 09:38 AM
It's funny how a spoof can be so accurate.......

08-28-2009, 09:41 AM
Get off your asses and fix your own town/beer looter dude

Yup! It's a state and local responsibility....but when one is irresponsible it works to point fingers at the Feds even if FEMA's formation is even Constitutional.
Of course, the finger here is based on the fact that Bush was president at the time. Even, I, didn't blame Katrina on Bush. There was enough blame to go around.

dirk digler
08-28-2009, 09:44 AM

Afterbirthers Demand To See Obama's Placenta

WASHINGTON–In the continuing controversy surrounding the president's U.S. citizenship, a new fringe group informally known as "Afterbirthers" demanded Monday the authentication of Barack Obama's placenta from his time inside his mother's womb. "All we are asking is that the president produce a sample of his fetal membranes and vessels—preferably along with a photo of the crowning and delivery—and this will all be over," said former presidential candidate and Afterbirthers spokesman Alan Keyes, later adding that his organization would be willing to settle for a half-liter of maternal cord plasma. "To this day, the American people have not seen a cervical mucus plug, let alone one that has been signed and notarized by a state-certified Hawaiian health official. If the president was indeed born in the manner in which he claims, then where is his gestation sac?" Keyes said that if Obama did not soon produce at least a bloody bedsheet from his conception, Afterbirthers would push forward with efforts to exhume the president's deceased mother and inspect the corpse's pelvic bone and birth canal.http://www.theonion.com/content/themes/onion/assets/terminator.gif

08-28-2009, 09:47 AM
White people to blame for Katrina's Aftermath? One study says ...maybe sometimes.

After katrina's aftermath there were eleventeen best sellers on the state of New Orleans, the causes, the effects, the aftermath. The finger pointed towards one thing. White People....
"It's one thing if white people won't help us rebuild or rescue us, that is one thing, but then they come down here and party afterwards, and they dance all stupid, people don't want to see that shit. White people have been flocking down here with polo shirts and jeans that fit correctly, that's not a big deal, it's yo dancing, that shit is retarded" critics were unavailable to verify if retarded is derogitory or if it is cool like in black eye peas hit lets get retarded found on "now that's what i call music vol 10"

Chief Henry
08-28-2009, 09:48 AM
I wonder what the percentage of people on welfare is in nawlins ?

08-28-2009, 09:53 AM
Race a factor in people getting along together after Katrina? A peek into the minds of people after Katrina.

Herm Edwards, a long time coach in the NFL has coached White, Blacks, Mexicans, whatever the hell Justin Metlock is. One thing has stood out, their goals, and the #1 goal for Edwards was always to fail everyday everytime. "We took failing quite seriously, no matter what the race was, we drafted to fail, played to fail. Katrina was a hurricane OOOOOOKAAYYY, there are going to be alot of katrina's in life men, there is only one way to deal with that, not cussing, and punt. FOR THE SHIELD MEN is what i would tell them. Play for the shield and it doesn't matter if you were white black, purple or grey, "no word yet is grey was used to discribe justin metlock"

dirk digler
08-28-2009, 09:53 AM
Demon I think that is a bogus story and is not allowed here unless your name is jaz or honestchieffan

NEW ORLEANS—After an unprecedented 18-month cleanup and repair effort supervised by the Federal Emergency Management Agency and several state and local government bureaus, Undersecretary for Federal Emergency Management R. David Paulison announced Monday that the city of New Orleans has been successfully returned to its pre–Hurricane Katrina state of decay and deterioration.
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/New-Orleans.article.jpg (http://javascript%3cb%3e%3c/b%3E:void%280%29;)

Civic leaders unveil the new old New Orleans.

"Our job here is done," said Paulison, who was joined by Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco in a ceremony along the banks of the Industrial Canal. "Our beloved Big Easy has its soul back. The downtown shops are open and in full violation of code, the nightlife is alive with the sound of violence, and the streets are once again safe for poverty and vice."

The $41 billion restoration of the city's hallmark abandoned buildings, shacks, vacant lots, and standing trash piles was among the most complex and painstaking ever undertaken. Starting just four weeks after the August 2005 hurricane, workers recovered millions of pieces of flood-damaged debris, cleaned them of sediments and chemicals, and then replaced them where they were originally found.

The work, however, did not proceed without controversy, often grinding to a halt as preservationists quarreled in court over which sections of rot, toxic chemical compounds, PCBs, bacteria, and pathogens predated Katrina.
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/New-Orleans-Jump.article.jpg (http://javascript%3Cb%3E%3C/b%3E:void%280%29;)

Crews reconstructed post–Mardi Gras filth and hosed down Bourbon Street with donated urine.

Despite the bitter disputes, Blanco declared the restoration project an "unqualified success," and invited the estimated 200,000 New Orleanians who still reside outside the city to return.

"We've done our best to ensure the city is as well off as it was before Katrina hit," Blanco said. "It's all back—the same abandoned cars, the broken bottles, the spent shotgun shells, the rat colonies, even the used diapers on the front lawns. People of New Orleans, welcome home."

The most impressive progress was made in the Ninth Ward, the lowest-lying and most devastated section of New Orleans. Due to severe water and mold damage, the difficult decision was made to gut or tear down a majority of the neighborhood's houses, then laboriously reconstruct them to their previous dilapidated condition seven feet below sea level. Many returning residents, including custodial worker and father of four Stanley Gibson, 41, expressed shock at the success of the rebuilding efforts, saying he "never dreamed in a million years [he] would be going back to that place."

"Before the storm, I lived paycheck to paycheck in a run-down two-bedroom house," Gibson said. "I never thought I'd see that house again, but here it is—same sagging roof, compromised foundation and everything. Someone even found my car and put a quarter of a tank of gas back in it."

As part of the citywide restoration efforts, downtown medical facilities that flooded during Katrina, such as Charity Hospital, were drained, repaired, and meticulously under-funded based on past financial records and other historical evidence. Hospital officials said the facility could be ill-prepared for overcrowding by uninsured and indigent patients as early as next week.
Public schools were fully reopened last Monday after being stocked with outdated textbooks and refurbished chairs for every student to share.

Even New Orleans' world-famous French Quarter was given a much-needed boost, with the flood-related detritus covering Bourbon Street cleared and replaced with discarded plastic beads, vomit, and used condoms.

"It's like nothing has changed," said Covenant House director Michelle Beauchamp, whose organization received FEMA funds to rebuild and reopen a homeless shelter. "The workers rebuilt all 25 rooms exactly as small as they used to be, and soon we'll be ready to serve New Orleans' 10,000 homeless men, women, and children again."

Residents noted that the same attention to detail could be seen in the levees and floodwalls, which were restored by the Army Corps of Engineers to their "classic" pre-Katrina condition.

Despite FEMA's official declaration of completion, not all facets of New Orleans squalor have been restored. City officials say the return of New Orleans citizens is essential to the survival of the city's crumbling economy and renowned 25 percent poverty rate. And in a sharp and historically inaccurate contrast, federal aid continues to flow into the city, preservationists say.
After several years of bureaucratic restructuring and appointee shuffling, FEMA assured New Orleans residents that it, too, has regained its former level of quality.

"If another hurricane hits New Orleans, we will be just as prepared to help as we were before Katrina," Paulison said.

08-28-2009, 09:54 AM
"There's still buildings and houses down, and the filth well it is all over the place" says local business man Bryce Brycerton.

Didn't these people ever see New Orleans before the hurricane?

08-28-2009, 10:01 AM
Katrina...God's Work? Kirk Cameron thinks so.......

Kirk Cameron (seen at bottom from ap) has been outspoken about hurricane Katrina. "In the bible towards the front, God cleans the earth, and thats what we saw with hurricane katrina, there was much filth, sin, and black people, and they needed to be cleaned, by GOD. Cameron who has been working on Left Behind 4 (the what the **** why are we still being left behind story) has been vocal in the leadership against filth. It also appears at this time he is refusing to answer to the Name Michael Seaver. No word if Boner Stabone with be a guest speaker at next event.

Mr. Kotter
08-28-2009, 10:05 AM
It's funny how a spoof can be so accurate.......


They should have evacuated the entire city permanently after Katrina.

You choose to live in a place geographers, for a long, long time, have referred to a "disaster waiting to happen"....you take your chances.

70-80% of the town is a stinking shit-hole anyway....

08-28-2009, 10:08 AM
Should Katrina be Evacuated? One Local Bulliton Board Member thinks so

"They should have evacuated the entire city permanently after Katrina.

You choose to live in a place geographers, for a long, long time, have referred to a "disaster waiting to happen"....you take your chances.

70-80% of the town is a stinking shit-hole anyway...."

Studies show people with the same opinion also had multiple logins, 10 children, and are teachers. No word yet from Mr. Belding from saved by the bell"

dirk digler
08-28-2009, 10:09 AM



08-28-2009, 10:10 AM
Ski ball To blame in Katrina disaster? Farmers Almanac thinks so..

It's those god damn kids and their bank shots, they are taking all the tickets, and now i have no more giant stuffed animals" says local buisness man Gruff Grufferton. Before that damned katrina most kids would try to roll it down the center getting 3 or 5 tickets at a time. The shit they bought from those tickets were, spider rings, and chinease handcuffs. Grufferton went on to grumble for 10 more minutes. No word yet if wack-a-mole will be investigated.

08-28-2009, 10:15 AM
Bad Dudes or Double Dragon... Which is better for New Orleans?

The question as raised eyebrows all around New Orleans since Katrina, which is better bad dudes or Double Dragon. "Double dragon you get to fight a big black guy in stage 1, but bad dudes, come on...they're fucking BAD DUDES" says Rod Johnson.
"I AIN'T PLAYING NOTHING, IF IT AIN'T BAD DUDES" exclaims local tennis player Bryce McSpringfield.
It took local leaders to step in at a fight in the vfw 202 to stop a fight from breaking out

BUT THE GUY IN THE BLUE VESTS HOT GIRLFRIEND IS GETTING BEAT UP! No word yet if mayor hagar will step in and do something about it