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Count Alex's Losses
09-23-2009, 03:59 AM
I think this says it all.

http://i38.tinypic.com/2uqylww.png

BigRock
09-23-2009, 04:10 AM
If they come out expecting to play hockey, I think we might steal this one.

Warrior5
09-23-2009, 07:21 AM
Bear in mind the following stats reflect a very green Chiefs squad through two games with starter injuries, rotating QBs, stupid penalties, poor execution, a horrendous O-line, no QB pressure, and some very inept play-calling.

PHI (1-1) W: CAR L: NO
KC (0-2) W: none L: BAL, OAK

PHI Score O 30 ppg (5) vs KC Score D 26 ppg (24)
PHI Rush O 135 ypg (10) vs KC Rush D 133 ypg (21)
PHI Pass O 230 ypg (15) vs KC Pass D 201 ypg (14)

KC Score O 17 ppg (23) vs PHI Score D 29 ppg (28)
KC Rush O 101 ypg (21) vs PHI Rush D 110 ypg (16)
KC Pass O 198 ypg (21) vs PHI Pass D 186 ypg (12)

Turnover Ratio:
PHI (+2)
KC (-1)
Adv: PHI

Homefield Advantage: PHI

Mile High Mania
09-23-2009, 08:06 AM
It will be interesting to see if they actually do tinker with the 9 or so plays that they have set up for Vick. Maybe they don't mess with it in week 3, or maybe they just put him out there to make the defense wonder. I don't know, but you do know that PHI is stinging after the loss to NOS and with them being 1 game behind the Giants, they're going to do all they can to win and after the loss to OAK... how will the team respond after that kick to the collective nuts?

I'd have to go with PHI here by 14... I think they come out ready to exploit the Chiefs and in that environment after 2 games that KC could have easily won, what will their mindset be to start the game?

Tough situation for KC.

Deberg_1990
09-23-2009, 08:09 AM
I hope they do put Vick in a drop back QB situation. Advantage KC

Hes proven he sucks at it.

Mile High Mania
09-23-2009, 08:11 AM
I hope they do put Vick in a drop back QB situation. Advantage KC

Hes proven he sucks at it.

I was listening to ESPN and I may have misheard them, but it sounds like his plays are wildcat in nature. Should be interesting.

ChiefJustice
09-23-2009, 08:19 AM
My guess is that about 3 minutes after this game is over...Mecca will announce in another thread... :wait for it: ....that we should have drafted Sanchez.

KcFanInGA
09-23-2009, 08:34 AM
I hope Cassel tucks his wang to the left in his cup, otherwise people will be on here complaining.

Demonpenz
09-23-2009, 09:20 AM
i simulated this game to see how it shapes up in madden 2005douglas trotter and dawkins are going to make the chiefs beg for mercy

Mr. Krab
09-23-2009, 11:09 AM
We better hope that Westbrook is out or he will kick the hell out of us in the passing game.

L.A. Chieffan
09-23-2009, 11:11 AM
repost:

http://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?p=6100012#post6100012

CoMoChief
09-23-2009, 11:15 AM
We need Gunther for this game. He loves dogs and hates Vick.

boogblaster
09-23-2009, 11:25 AM
We have a small chance .. But with no pass-rush it might be a long day ...

Iowanian
09-23-2009, 11:45 AM
I think this game is pretty simple. Philly is a better team, period.

The Chiefs will have trouble passing against a pretty strong secondary, so they're going to have to run the ball. I look for the Chiefs to TRY to control the ball, put together longer drives and keep the philly O off the field.

The advantage the Chiefs have at this point would be a wounded McNabb, an unproven backup.....in addition to some likely gimmick plays from Vick in the wildcat.

The Chiefs did a pretty good job stopping a solid running game from Oakland, and should make the Defensive gameplan to stop the run. They'll need to watch for the sweeps, draws and screens to Philly's shifty RBs.

It's possible we could be surprised, but doubtful, as my bad girlfriend has been quite the unfaithful whore lately.

MahiMike
09-23-2009, 11:50 AM
We better hope that Westbrook is out or he will kick the hell out of us in the passing game.

His backup is better.

MahiMike
09-23-2009, 11:52 AM
I think this game is pretty simple. Philly is a better team, period.

The Chiefs will have trouble passing against a pretty strong secondary, so they're going to have to run the ball. I look for the Chiefs to TRY to control the ball, put together longer drives and keep the philly O off the field.

The advantage the Chiefs have at this point would be a wounded McNabb, an unproven backup.....in addition to some likely gimmick plays from Vick in the wildcat.

The Chiefs did a pretty good job stopping a solid running game from Oakland, and should make the Defensive gameplan to stop the run. They'll need to watch for the sweeps, draws and screens to Philly's shifty RBs.

It's possible we could be surprised, but doubtful, as my bad girlfriend has been quite the unfaithful whore lately.

If the Saints can put up 40+ on them, I see no reason why we can't score 30.

Chiefs WIN!!!

RJ
09-23-2009, 11:53 AM
His backup is better.


Fine, then we should hope they are both out.

L.A. Chieffan
09-23-2009, 11:53 AM
If the Saints can put up 40+ on them, I see no reason why we can't score 30.

Chiefs WIN!!!

dont be jocking me homie

RJ
09-23-2009, 12:01 PM
I'll just say that I am leaning strongly toward taking the Eagles in the Survival Pool.

And I'll bet I'm not the only one.

Iowanian
09-23-2009, 12:02 PM
If the Saints can put up 40+ on them, I see no reason why we can't score 30.

Chiefs WIN!!!

I think you accidentally typed "30" instead of "17".

Brock
09-23-2009, 12:08 PM
If the Saints can put up 40+ on them, I see no reason why we can't score 30.

Other than the Chiefs offense, I assume.

Molitoth
09-23-2009, 01:24 PM
I usually try not to be such a pessimest, but I believe that in this game we will see Cassel suck it up hard, causing a real QB controversy after the game. Also The Eagles will dominate us on both sides of the ball, making us look like the worst team in the league.


Basically I just gave the Chiefs really low expectations.... if they exceed them, than that leaves me in a much better position to be in a good mood on monday vs having high expectations and being pissed off all day from a piss poor performance.

Dicky McElephant
09-23-2009, 01:34 PM
Trent Cole is going to kill Mark Castle.

Brock
09-23-2009, 01:38 PM
They'll probably pass all over the Chiefs. They let a fat waterhead close the deal on them last week.

Bowser
09-23-2009, 01:41 PM
We. Are going. To DIE.

bevischief
09-23-2009, 01:50 PM
i simulated this game to see how it shapes up in madden 2005douglas trotter and dawkins are going to make the chiefs beg for mercy

Dawkins is a Bronco now.

Buehler445
09-23-2009, 01:51 PM
Not good for the Chiefs.

Asante Samuel on Bowe.

Our OL against a sneaky blitz happy D.

Shifty pass catching RBs against our slow ass LBs.

Fast. VERY fast WRs against Page and Mike Brown.

At Philly.

Fuck.

:doh!:
Posted via Mobile Device

Buehler445
09-23-2009, 01:52 PM
Dawkins is a Bronco now.

Dude. It's Penz. Read his post.
Posted via Mobile Device

TrickyNicky
09-23-2009, 01:52 PM
We. Are going. To DIE.

http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn215/gabe11cap/IndianaJonesGif.gif

????

Iowanian
09-23-2009, 02:07 PM
Here is a post full of WIN.


This thread just reminded me of the photo of the Eagles cheerleader that was passed around the internet in the mid-late 90s. I think it was the first cervix I saw on the internet.

Msmith
09-23-2009, 02:27 PM
This is my 2 cents worth about the Eagles:

1. Offense- Be ready for the Wildcat formation. Don't underestimate Kolb. He threw a long bomb to Jackson for a 72 yd TD. He was very critical of himself after the game. It might become a motivation for him this week.

2. Defense- Against the Saints they used the a. 4 man rush, b. played a zone, and c. tackled hard once the WR got the ball. The Saints beat them by a. the quick release of Drew Brees, b. everyone ran down field can catch, including the full back, c. due to the quickness of the WR they were able to avoid the tackle.

The Eagles will blitz, and blitz heavily until Cassell could prove them wrong.

L.A. Chieffan
09-23-2009, 02:30 PM
Over/Under the announcers mention Kolb enjoys hunting wild hogs with only a knife: 72.5

L.A. Chieffan
09-23-2009, 02:32 PM
btw it looks like nearly the entire country gets to see the Vick Comeback Special except those PETA Loving Kommies in L.A.

http://the506.com/nflmaps/

RedThat
09-23-2009, 04:06 PM
They'll probably pass all over the Chiefs. They let a fat waterhead close the deal on them last week.

I think teams are going to pass more from now on when they play us. No pass rush, gotta exploit that weakness.

SNR
09-23-2009, 06:18 PM
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4jaFUz5morw&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4jaFUz5morw&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Mecca
09-23-2009, 06:21 PM
My guess is that about 3 minutes after this game is over...Mecca will announce in another thread... :wait for it: ....that we should have drafted Sanchez.

Why am I tied to Sanchez like that when I rarely talk about him? The people that didn't want him talk about him more than the people who did.

And the worst thing that could have happened to the Chiefs going into this game was the Eagles getting blown out there is no chance of sneaking in now.

Raised On Riots
09-23-2009, 06:31 PM
We. Are going. To DIE.

DOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!

milkman
09-23-2009, 06:34 PM
Why am I tied to Sanchez like that when I rarely talk about him? The people that didn't want him talk about him more than the people who did.

And the worst thing that could have happened to the Chiefs going into this game was the Eagles getting blown out there is no chance of sneaking in now.

I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how little you, me, or any of the others who were wanting to draft Sanchez avoid talking about him, the anti-Sanchezers are always going to make these baseless assertions.

So why avoid it?

We should just start bombarding the board with all things Sanchez.

Mecca
09-23-2009, 06:35 PM
I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how little you, me, or any of the others who were wanting to draft Sanchez avoid talking about him, the anti-Sanchezers are always going to make these baseless assertions.

So why avoid it?

We should just start bombarding the board with all things Sanchez.

I'm getting to that point, since people say I do it, I might aswell just fucking do it.

Raised On Riots
09-23-2009, 06:39 PM
I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how little you, me, or any of the others who were wanting to draft Sanchez avoid talking about him, the anti-Sanchezers are always going to make these baseless assertions.

So why avoid it?

We should just start bombarding the board with all things Sanchez.


You rang?:D

Raised On Riots
09-23-2009, 06:51 PM
<object height="344" width="425">


<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4jaFUz5morw&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></object>


Worst...walkthrough...ever.

Ebolapox
09-23-2009, 06:51 PM
I'ma fuck a white bitch
I'ma fuck a white bitch
I'ma fuck a white bitch!

HORSEDICK.MPEG!

Saccopoo
09-23-2009, 08:58 PM
We should just start bombarding the board with all things Sanchez.

http://www.sitv.com/files/premium-uploads/sitv_latino%20sports_Mark%20Sanchez%2051.jpg

Pablo
09-23-2009, 09:01 PM
Cassel is going to be killed on the field. Ripped in half. They'll rush for 200 yards, Kolb is gonna throw all over us and Vick is gonna average 19 yards a play while he's in. Eagles 77 Chiefs -4.

tonyetony
09-23-2009, 10:02 PM
http://www.sitv.com/files/premium-uploads/sitv_latino%20sports_Mark%20Sanchez%2051.jpg

I just wanna repost this for Mecca so he can see it free of screen splooge.

Marcellus
09-23-2009, 10:05 PM
Sounds alot like the pregame thread to the first 2 games.

soundmind
09-23-2009, 10:22 PM
Here are roughly 5,000 words on the topic.

http://images.townnews.com/delcotimes.com/content/articles/2009/08/20/sports/doc4a8cbcaf65568762170871.jpg
http://tonybruno.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/chris-gocong.jpg
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/05oP9nHaMncSB/610x.jpg
http://z.about.com/d/football/1/0/G/T/TrentCole1a.jpg
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0cD93smdLp2GC/610x.jpg

Easy 6
09-23-2009, 10:32 PM
Here are roughly 5,000 words on the topic.

http://images.townnews.com/delcotimes.com/content/articles/2009/08/20/sports/doc4a8cbcaf65568762170871.jpg
http://tonybruno.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/chris-gocong.jpg
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/05oP9nHaMncSB/610x.jpg
http://z.about.com/d/football/1/0/G/T/TrentCole1a.jpg
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0cD93smdLp2GC/610x.jpg

A well coached, passionate, cagey & confident bunch indeed...so, whats the plan?

DeezNutz
09-23-2009, 10:33 PM
Other than the Chiefs offense, I assume.

ROFL

DeezNutz
09-23-2009, 10:37 PM
I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how little you, me, or any of the others who were wanting to draft Sanchez avoid talking about him, the anti-Sanchezers are always going to make these baseless assertions.

So why avoid it?

We should just start bombarding the board with all things Sanchez.

I think we should just let this Mark Sanchez thing die because even though a lot of us wanted to draft Mark Sanchez and thought Mark Sanchez would be an elite talent, this didn't happen, allowing Mark Sanchez to drop to the Jets, so we should never have to discuss the Mark Sanchez situation again.

soundmind
09-23-2009, 10:39 PM
A well coached, passionate, cagey & confident bunch indeed...so, whats the plan?

Bootleg passes, screen plays, and hot routes....? Help us Obi Wan Kinobi, you're our only hope. May the powers of Bobby Wade and Dwayne Bowe be with you Matt Cassel. I could see a screen blowing up for Charles/Savage though...

Defensively, I have the strangest feeling we're either going to be surprisingly strong, or get torn apart by a combination of receivers (Jackson, Maclin, Celek, Westbrook/McCoy).

Raised On Riots
09-23-2009, 10:50 PM
I think we should just let this Mark Sanchez thing die because even though a lot of us wanted to draft Mark Sanchez and thought Mark Sanchez would be an elite talent, this didn't happen, allowing Mark Sanchez to drop to the Jets, so we should never have to discuss the Mark Sanchez situation again.

LMAO

Chiefs=Good
09-24-2009, 04:50 AM
If the Saints can put up 40+ on them, I see no reason why we can't score 30.

Chiefs WIN!!!

.

http://a292.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/113/l_cf051e9f1c8af2100169ad76214d2e1b.jpg

blazzin311
09-24-2009, 04:53 AM
If they come out expecting to play hockey, I think we might steal this one.

ROFL

Rausch
09-24-2009, 04:58 AM
As a weak team you don't want to play a good team the week after they just got yesterday's lunch pushed in.

Just saying, doesn't end well most of the time...

'Hamas' Jenkins
09-24-2009, 05:25 AM
My gameplan:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7xNSgBkum7o&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7xNSgBkum7o&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Rausch
09-24-2009, 05:32 AM
Kolb has a gun.

We do not want to stop the run and pressure the pass. The Eagles are opportunistic runners that inflate stats by confusion.

It's a fucking WCO, cover the flats, over the middle, and let them run...

'Hamas' Jenkins
09-24-2009, 05:36 AM
Kolb has a gun.

We do not want to stop the run and pressure the pass. The Eagles are opportunistic runners that inflate stats by confusion.

It's a fucking WCO, cover the flats, over the middle, and let them run...

It's gonna be hard to do this with a 3-4 whose LBs are god awful in coverage.

Rausch
09-24-2009, 05:39 AM
It's gonna be hard to do this with a 3-4 whose LBs are god awful in coverage.

Not really, it's our MLB's that are horrid. Our OLB's manage to hold their own.

And Yes, I do know DJ is (sometimes) a MLB...

Count Alex's Losses
09-24-2009, 05:40 AM
Not really, it's our MLB's that are horrid. Our OLB's manage to hold their own.


:spock:

Hali and Vrabel are about to get owned.

We haven't even seen the worst from them.

'Hamas' Jenkins
09-24-2009, 05:40 AM
Not really, it's our MLB's that are horrid. Our OLB's manage to hold their own.

And Yes, I do know DJ is (sometimes) a MLB...

:spock:

I honestly shudder at the fact of watching Tamba and Vrabel trying to cover Westbrook or McCoy in the flats. Hell, they were terrible at this in Baltimore.

Rausch
09-24-2009, 05:45 AM
:spock:

I honestly shudder at the fact of watching Tamba and Vrabel trying to cover Westbrook or McCoy in the flats. Hell, they were terrible at this in Baltimore.

Isn't Vrabel the same guy that pushed Faulk's lunch in? Didn't he spend all day making the Pats the biggest upset in NFL history?

Tamba...yeah...stopgap worries me. Tamba isn't covering $#it.

But the way he's been used we might as wll call Hali the Falcon II.

EyePod
09-24-2009, 07:08 AM
Bear in mind the following stats reflect a very green Chiefs squad through two games with starter injuries, rotating QBs, stupid penalties, poor execution, a horrendous O-line, no QB pressure, and some very inept play-calling.

PHI (1-1) W: CAR L: NO
KC (0-2) W: none L: BAL, OAK

PHI Score O 30 ppg (5) vs KC Score D 26 ppg (24)
PHI Rush O 135 ypg (10) vs KC Rush D 133 ypg (21)
PHI Pass O 230 ypg (15) vs KC Pass D 201 ypg (14)

KC Score O 17 ppg (23) vs PHI Score D 29 ppg (28)
KC Rush O 101 ypg (21) vs PHI Rush D 110 ypg (16)
KC Pass O 198 ypg (21) vs PHI Pass D 186 ypg (12)

Turnover Ratio:
PHI (+2)
KC (-1)
Adv: PHI

Homefield Advantage: PHI

Bear in mind almost all of the penalties were in the 2nd game....

EyePod
09-24-2009, 07:09 AM
:spock:

I honestly shudder at the fact of watching Tamba and Vrabel trying to cover Westbrook or McCoy in the flats. Hell, they were terrible at this in Baltimore.

Why wouldn't DJ be covering them? He has the speed to do it... and Westbrook hasn't looked as good as he has in the past. Everyone in Philly's talking about how they think that Westbrook is done..

'Hamas' Jenkins
09-24-2009, 11:48 AM
Isn't Vrabel the same guy that pushed Faulk's lunch in? .

Is it 7.5 years ago?

MahiMike
09-24-2009, 12:24 PM
So where's the "guess the score" thread? I wanna post my 30-27 WIN for the CHIEFS!

you'll see

KCtotheSB
09-24-2009, 12:52 PM
I'll be ecstatic if the Chiefs are still within 10 late in the 3rd quarter......
Then you can throw this game on the evergrowing "moral victories" pile.....

mylittlepony
09-24-2009, 04:30 PM
The running game will be completely shut down. Its Trevor Laws on the opposite side of the line. Its like playing godzilla, I expect broken bodies to be littered all along the chiefs O line. :(

Ebolapox
09-24-2009, 04:36 PM
Why wouldn't DJ be covering them? He has the speed to do it...

cause he's out with a hammy apparently.

LaChapelle
09-24-2009, 05:37 PM
Eagles try out an old friend
Posted by Gregg Rosenthal on September 24, 2009 5:07 PM ET
Jeremiah Trotter, 32, hasn't played in the NFL since 2007 because of knee injuries, and he hasn't played in Philadelphia since 2006.

But he reportedly keeps telling the organization that he wants to and can still play. The Eagles, clearly in need of some linebacker help, decided this week to see if Trotter was all bluster or if he was in playing shape.

They tried out the four-time Pro Bowler, according to ESPN's Adam Schefter. To this point, they haven't signed him.

Perhaps they just did it as a favor to Trotter. Or maybe they are a little desperate, and willing to consider some unconventional ideas to help out the middle of their defense.

(And just as we were about to make a Seth Joyner crack, we see Schefter already made one about Chuck Bednarik. Well done.)

Count Alex's Losses
09-24-2009, 06:25 PM
Trotter probably runs a 5.1 40 these days.

Raised On Riots
09-24-2009, 06:29 PM
Trotter probably runs a 5.1 40 these days.

Pop Quiz: Who got a job today?

Count Alex's Losses
09-24-2009, 07:30 PM
Pop Quiz: Who got a job today?

Bernard Pollard. The Texans need someone for the scout team defense. Every week he'll simulate the opposition's worst tackler.

Molitoth
09-24-2009, 07:31 PM
Bernard Pollard. The Texans need someone for the scout team defense. Every week he'll simulate the opposition's worst tackler.

lol

Raised On Riots
09-24-2009, 07:36 PM
Bernard Pollard. The Texans need someone for the scout team defense. Every week he'll simulate the opposition's worst tackler.

And yet he'll still make more money than you and I combined this year.

Count Alex's Losses
09-24-2009, 07:38 PM
And yet he'll still make more money than you and I combined this year.

Not after I sue him for assault and battery!

And three fucking years of mental anguish!

Easy 6
09-24-2009, 07:38 PM
Bernard Pollard. The Texans need someone for the scout team defense. Every week he'll simulate the opposition's worst tackler.

LMAO

The Zing & the Bada-Bing.

Raised On Riots
09-24-2009, 07:43 PM
Not after I sue him for assault and battery!

And three fucking years of mental anguish!

LMAO He's totally gonna' 180 and go All World on you, and then I'll have to GIF HIM UP!

Count Alex's Losses
09-24-2009, 07:51 PM
LMAO He's totally gonna' 180 and go All World on you, and then I'll have to GIF HIM UP!

TEXANS' PLAYER ASSAULTS INNOCENT HOUSTONIAN

Upstanding citizen suffers torn ACL.

HOUSTON - Recently signed Texans' safety Bernard Pollard is already making an impact off the field. Unfortunately, his latest hit - an uncalled for assault on a good-looking man at an HEB grocery store - may land him in prison instead of the Pro Bowl.

Pollard was shopping for food when he saw the man, apparently identifying him from a photo police found in Pollard's wallet. After running toward the man, Pollard tripped over his feet and spilled headfirst into the victim's knee. The man let out a cry of pain as Pollard rose to his feet, thumped his chest and let out a battle cry.

According to witnesses, Pollard then yelled "ALL FUCKIN DAY N**GA!"

Police arrived on the scene minutes later and surrounded the crime scene. Pollard attempted to bring down an officer blocking an exit but whiffed badly and was spent sprawling into a large stack of canned peas.

The victim then limped over, stood over Pollard and reportedly whispered, "Stay down, bitch."

Raised On Riots
09-24-2009, 07:54 PM
TEXANS' PLAYER ASSAULTS INNOCENT HOUSTONIAN

Upstanding citizen suffers torn ACL.

HOUSTON - Recently signed Texans' safety Bernard Pollard is already making an impact off the field. Unfortunately, his latest hit - an uncalled for assault on a good-looking man at an HEB grocery store - may land him in prison instead of the Pro Bowl.

Pollard was shopping for food when he saw the man, apparently identifying him from a photo police found in Pollard's wallet. After running toward the man, Pollard tripped over his feet and spilled headfirst into the victim's knee. The man let out a cry of pain as Pollard rose to his feet, thumped his chest and let out a battle cry.

According to witnesses, Pollard then yelled "ALL FUCKIN DAY N**GA!"

Police arrived on the scene minutes later and surrounded the crime scene. Pollard attempted to bring down an officer blocking an exit but whiffed badly and was spent sprawling into a large stack of canned peas.

The victim then limped over, stood over Pollard and reportedly whispered, "Stay down, bitch."

ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL That was awesome.

Mecca
09-24-2009, 07:55 PM
Maybe Vrabel can use his broke dick to knock some passes down this week.

Count Alex's Losses
09-24-2009, 07:58 PM
ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL That was awesome.

I've always wanted to start a Chiefs-centric version of The Onion.

Lots of material.

Raised On Riots
09-24-2009, 08:00 PM
I've always wanted to start a Chiefs-centric version of The Onion.

Lots of material.

Yeah there is. You should write one every week.

L.A. Chieffan
09-25-2009, 10:37 AM
Bill Simmons take on this week:

EAGLES (-8.5) over Chiefs
A breakout fantasy week for Kevin "Corn on the" Kolb! Get it? Corn on the Kolb! OK, let's talk about Todd Haley, who broke the unofficial record for "worst body language in the history of professional sports" during last week's collapse against Oakland. I made a mental note to write about this on Sunday, then Jason Whitlock and Mike Lombardi tackled it before I could get there. I will only add this: It's impossible -- repeat: impossible -- for a football team to succeed when its coach is acting like a complete ass on the sidelines and selling out 20 different players. There's a zero percent chance it can work.

Now, I don't think this is a case of Haley needing to "calm down" because you can't change who you are. The players will see right through any attempt to suddenly be more supportive, which basically comes down to the "That's OK, that's all right!" clap after every bad play even as he's gritting his teeth. Basically, he's screwed. If this were a dating situation, and Haley was a dude and the Chiefs were the girl, that Raiders game was the equivalent of the dude getting in a screaming match with two waiters and a bus boy at dinner, snapping at the girl when she didn't order fast enough, then telling her at the end of the night, "I don't know, do you REALLY need dessert?" You think she's calling him back? I am proceeding with my 2009 picks as if Haley already lost the Chiefs. Because I think he did. You had to see it.


I'm stickin with my guarantee.

Chiefnj2
09-25-2009, 10:50 AM
Simmons is harsh.

I'm not sold on the Chiefs as having improved a lot from the Baltimore game to the Raiders game. The Raiders are a bad team. Russell didn't face much of a pass rush and missed open receivers all day. Baltimore went after Leggett while the Raiders went after Flowers. Baltimore used the TE, the Raiders didn't. Bush was running better than McFadden, yet they stuck with McFadden. Plus, if Cassel was having trouble reading defenses and finding open receivers against Oakland, I think Philly will really confuse him.

Tiger's Fan
09-25-2009, 11:06 AM
Simmons is harsh.

I'm not sold on the Chiefs as having improved a lot from the Baltimore game to the Raiders game. The Raiders are a bad team. Russell didn't face much of a pass rush and missed open receivers all day. Baltimore went after Leggett while the Raiders went after Flowers. Baltimore used the TE, the Raiders didn't. Bush was running better than McFadden, yet they stuck with McFadden. Plus, if Cassel was having trouble reading defenses and finding open receivers against Oakland, I think Philly will really confuse him.

Thats funny. Before the game, the Raiders were an up and comer, with a shutdown defensive backfield, and a vaunted rushing attack, rivaling any in the league.

Now they're just a bad team.

Chiefnj2
09-25-2009, 11:14 AM
Thats funny. Before the game, the Raiders were an up and comer, with a shutdown defensive backfield, and a vaunted rushing attack, rivaling any in the league.

Now they're just a bad team.

Or, they are a team that hasn't had more than 5 wins the last 6 years and happened to just play fairly well the week before.

LaChapelle
09-25-2009, 11:26 AM
Bill Simmons take on this week:

EAGLES (-8.5) over Chiefs
A breakout fantasy week for Kevin "Corn on the" Kolb! Get it? Corn on the Kolb! OK, let's talk about Todd Haley, who broke the unofficial record for "worst body language in the history of professional sports" during last week's collapse against Oakland. I made a mental note to write about this on Sunday, then Jason Whitlock and Mike Lombardi tackled it before I could get there. I will only add this: It's impossible -- repeat: impossible -- for a football team to succeed when its coach is acting like a complete ass on the sidelines and selling out 20 different players. There's a zero percent chance it can work.

Now, I don't think this is a case of Haley needing to "calm down" because you can't change who you are. The players will see right through any attempt to suddenly be more supportive, which basically comes down to the "That's OK, that's all right!" clap after every bad play even as he's gritting his teeth. Basically, he's screwed. If this were a dating situation, and Haley was a dude and the Chiefs were the girl, that Raiders game was the equivalent of the dude getting in a screaming match with two waiters and a bus boy at dinner, snapping at the girl when she didn't order fast enough, then telling her at the end of the night, "I don't know, do you REALLY need dessert?" You think she's calling him back? I am proceeding with my 2009 picks as if Haley already lost the Chiefs. Because I think he did. You had to see it.


I'm stickin with my guarantee.


One of the players(Pollard?) said before the first game Haley asked for their help. He was a rookie HC and he needed them to look out for him. I'm having a bit of a problem with a complete ass asking that of a team he only berates.

~This subject so much deserves it's own thread at some point.

MahiMike
09-25-2009, 11:42 AM
Bill Simmons take on this week:

EAGLES (-8.5) over Chiefs
I will only add this: It's impossible -- repeat: impossible -- for a football team to succeed when its coach is acting like a complete ass on the sidelines and selling out 20 different players. There's a zero percent chance it can work.



Jon Gruden has a ring. 'nuff said.

SenselessChiefsFan
09-25-2009, 12:04 PM
I think Haley is starting to face a real problem. I know to a bunch of wannabee's at home, this stuff looks great, especially in contrast to Herm Edwards.

But, no player is perfect.... and as DV always says... the other team gets paid to play football too.

I am not willing to say Haley has lost the team.... but he does need to reel in a bit...especially since they aren't winning and he is coming off a poorly coached game.

And, remember, Cassel is as much his guy as Pioli's guy. Cassel and him both share the blame in that loss. It is hard to point to anyone who affected the outcome more than those two.

The tough nosed hard assed act.... only works when you win.

The Bad Guy
09-25-2009, 12:11 PM
I think Haley is starting to face a real problem. I know to a bunch of wannabee's at home, this stuff looks great, especially in contrast to Herm Edwards.

But, no player is perfect.... and as DV always says... the other team gets paid to play football too.

I am not willing to say Haley has lost the team.... but he does need to reel in a bit...especially since they aren't winning and he is coming off a poorly coached game.

And, remember, Cassel is as much his guy as Pioli's guy. Cassel and him both share the blame in that loss. It is hard to point to anyone who affected the outcome more than those two.

The tough nosed hard assed act.... only works when you win.

Freaking hilarious coming from someone who defended Herm for basically 3 years.

What does he need to reel in exactly? I saw Haley providing several encouraging moments on the sideline as well. Why aren't they discussed?

Hydrae
09-25-2009, 12:23 PM
I think this says it all.

http://i38.tinypic.com/2uqylww.png

That mask cost him $10,000 to the NFL.

"Jason" mask costs Sheldon Brown $10,000
Posted by Mike Florio on September 25, 2009 5:44 AM ET
We're a little behind on this one. And if we were inclined to come up with lame excuses for periodically being a little late on a story, we might suggest that, given the precise subject matter of the story, we wanted to hold it for a Friday.

Actually, that sounds pretty good. So we'll go with that one.

On Sunday against the Saints, Eagles cornerback Sheldon Brown ran out of the tunnel wearing an old-school goalie mask from the Friday The 13th series of slasher flicks.

And it'll cost him more than he likely will ever spend on tickets for movies over the course of his entire life.

ESPN's Adam Schefter reported on Thursday that the league has fined Brown $10,000 for the uniform violation.

Though Brown, to date, has not explained the reason for wearing the mask, we've got a feeling it has something to do with the time that Brown killed Saints running back Reggie Bush.

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2009/09/25/jason-mask-costs-sheldon-brown-10000/

BigChiefFan
09-25-2009, 12:46 PM
Time to ground the Eagles.

SenselessChiefsFan
09-25-2009, 04:59 PM
Freaking hilarious coming from someone who defended Herm for basically 3 years.

What does he need to reel in exactly? I saw Haley providing several encouraging moments on the sideline as well. Why aren't they discussed?

Herm Edwards was not my favorite coach. With that said, he was the one coach the Chiefs had willing to have the guts to tear the team down and rebuild rather than just being okay with a mediocre team year in and year out.

Herm Edwards took many average teams to the playoffs.

The funny part to me is that Todd Haley is calling plays much like a Herm coached team, yet....I don't hear quite as much criticsm? Why is he calling the plays in a similar fashion? The Chiefs are still young and lacking talent... the same thing that Herm Edwards knew.

Make no mistake, I am glad that Herm is gone. But, while he was here, I didn't think he was as bad as many of you think. But, I come from a little different perspective than most.

You do have wonder why the analysts still think he is a good coach.

As far as Haley is concerned..... I was on board with being a harda$$ up to a certain point. The Chiefs had not been held accountable for way too long. DV and Herm were both too forgiving.

That said, without success, the players will very quickly tune Haley out.

Now, I don't think he has lost the team. I think the team is full of character guys for the most part, and that is a good step in the right direction.

The more the Chiefs fail to win, the more they will start to press, the more Haley is cussing them out, the more they will press. When you press, you don't win. Period.

And not giving Cassel his full support was dumb. Yeah, competing sounds good and all, but the QB is the leader. The QB needs to be established and then the coach should support him 100%.... especially since he and Pioli traded for him and extended him at 60 million dollars. I know he isn't the GM, but he had to sign off on it.

JuicesFlowing
09-25-2009, 05:09 PM
Herm Edwards was not my favorite coach. With that said, he was the one coach the Chiefs had willing to have the guts to tear the team down and rebuild rather than just being okay with a mediocre team year in and year out.



http://img188.imageshack.us/img188/5213/nagasakinuclearbomb1.jpg

The thing is, you don't have to go full nuclear to improve a team. I mean really, starting over with 53 rookies? (I'm exaggerating, just barely!) I think the "Patriots Way" is to use and discard, you find the right guy now, and then kick his ass to the curb the second someone better comes along. Herm seemed to have this very rigid, start-from-scratch recipe, and it didn't need to be that way ... in my opinion.

LaChapelle
09-25-2009, 05:20 PM
The funny part to me is that Todd Haley is calling plays much like a Herm coached team,.

WTF?

The funny part to me is that Todd Haley is calling plays much like a Herm coached team,.

WTF!

The funny part to me is that Todd Haley is calling plays much like a Herm coached team,.

WTF?

Raised On Riots
09-25-2009, 05:25 PM
WTF?



WTF!



WTF?

LMAO

http://i36.tinypic.com/28l8ck5.jpg

The Bad Guy
09-25-2009, 06:33 PM
Todd Haley was very aggressive in his approach last week. It didn't translate into points. That is nothing like Herman Edwards.

What the fuck are you talking about you idiot?

Count Alex's Losses
09-25-2009, 09:45 PM
Watching the Iggles now. They have this huge road grader at LG. 6-0, 350 pounds. Look out, Dorsey!

Easy 6
09-25-2009, 09:59 PM
Watching the Iggles now. They have this huge road grader at LG. 6-0, 350 pounds. Look out, Dorsey!

Nick Cole, wow...thats a ton of weight on such a low center of gravity.

If he's on the iggles, theres likely good talent there as well...pretty scary proposition.

Easy 6
09-25-2009, 10:23 PM
Herm Edwards was not my favorite coach. With that said, he was the one coach the Chiefs had willing to have the guts to tear the team down and rebuild rather than just being okay with a mediocre team year in and year out.

This, i can agree with.

Count Alex's Losses
09-25-2009, 11:17 PM
Hope our defense is ready for this shit:

http://i34.tinypic.com/a2zmm8.jpg

Raised On Riots
09-25-2009, 11:19 PM
Wow. I'm just laughing my ass off looking at that.

Count Alex's Losses
09-25-2009, 11:21 PM
Wow. I'm just laughing my ass off looking at that.

All that and a bag of chips gets you a three-yard gain and a first down!

Count Alex's Losses
09-25-2009, 11:25 PM
Kolb is impressing me.

I'd trade about six Tyler Thigpens for half a Kolb.

Raised On Riots
09-25-2009, 11:29 PM
Kolb is impressing me.

I'd trade about six Tyler Thigpens for half a Kolb.

Who the fuck wouldn't?

Count Alex's Losses
09-26-2009, 12:02 AM
If the Raiders had a brain in their organization they'd trade a pick right now for Kolb and cut their losses with Russel. I've only watched one half of this game and it's like night and day.

Some team is gonna trade for him this offseason if the Eagles decide to let him go.

Mecca
09-26-2009, 12:16 AM
The Eagles won't get rid of Kolb, Andy Reid is stubborn and doesn't want people to say he fucked up a pick.

Count Alex's Losses
09-26-2009, 12:30 AM
The Eagles won't get rid of Kolb, Andy Reid is stubborn and doesn't want people to say he fucked up a pick.

As old as McNabb is hanging on to Kolb might be smart.

KCtotheSB
09-26-2009, 12:31 AM
McNabb's already out, but now there's word about Westbrook being out as well. I know there's a ton of naysayers here and there's a ton of people who think we don't have a shot in hell in this game for whatever reason....but....I'm starting to get the feeling the Eagles think this is a "gimme" game. The whole centric around this game is Michael Vick Michael Vick Michael Vick.....

Well, I don't think the Chiefs will just lay down and accept the beating everyone's predicting. I'm really hoping for a fast start to crack the Eagles in the jaw and let them know they're in a fight.

(I'm also hoping for sacks of money to fly out of my shitter.)

Mecca
09-26-2009, 12:33 AM
That would be a great argument if they hadn't gotten blown out last week.

The Eagles will have their asses put to the fire if they lose this one, this game became a must win for them because of how they played last week.

Count Alex's Losses
09-26-2009, 12:34 AM
That would be a great argument if they hadn't gotten blown out last week.

The Eagles will have their asses put to the fire if they lose this one, this game became a must win for them because of how they played last week.

Yup.

They didn't even play that badly last week. They just had a couple bad turnovers.

Count Alex's Losses
09-26-2009, 12:36 AM
McNabb's already out, but now there's word about Westbrook being out as well.

Watch LeSean McCoy have a breakout game!

JuicesFlowing
09-26-2009, 08:59 AM
Kolb is impressing me.

I'd trade about six Tyler Thigpens for half a Kolb.

Holy shit. We have only ONE Thigpen and it's too much Thigpen.

The Poz
09-26-2009, 11:52 AM
With the injuries the Eagles have and the fact that it's supposed to rain all day tomorrow I really think it can be anyones game. Nobody is more desperate than the Chiefs for a win and the showing we put in Baltimore was enough for me to think we have a legit chance.
Unfortunately for me I'm going to have to PVR the game cause I'll be getting drunk in the Ralph Wilson Stadium parking lot waiting to watch the Bills and Saints game.

OnTheWarpath58
09-26-2009, 12:27 PM
With the injuries the Eagles have and the fact that it's supposed to rain all day tomorrow I really think it can be anyones game. Nobody is more desperate than the Chiefs for a win and the showing we put in Baltimore was enough for me to think we have a legit chance.
Unfortunately for me I'm going to have to PVR the game cause I'll be getting drunk in the Ralph Wilson Stadium parking lot waiting to watch the Bills and Saints game.

FWIW, I think Tennessee is more desperate than we are, by far.

They had high expectations this year, and are looking down the barrel of an 0-3 start. We knew we were gonna suck.

milkman
09-26-2009, 12:41 PM
FWIW, I think Tennessee is more desperate than we are, by far.

They had high expectations this year, and are looking down the barrel of an 0-3 start. We knew we were gonna suck.

That Titans-Jets game looks like it could be a good one, and if the Falcons-Pats weren't on at the same time, I'd ercord that and watch it later.

Maybe it's just me, but we seem to have more good early season matchups this season than we've had in recent seasons.

And on a different note altogether, as fans that have questioned the strategic value of prevent defenses for years, you have to love Rex Ryan's aggressive, attacking defensive playcalling in the final 2 minutes of that Jets-Pats game last week.

OnTheWarpath58
09-26-2009, 12:45 PM
That Titans-Jets game looks like it could be a good one, and if the Falcons-Pats weren't on at the same time, I'd ercord that and watch it later.

Maybe it's just me, but we seem to have more good early season matchups this season than we've had in recent seasons.

And on a different note altogether, as fans that have questioned the strategic value of prevent defenses for years, you have to love Rex Ryan's aggressive, attacking defensive playcalling in the final 2 minutes of that Jets-Pats game last week.

Yeah, I've been hopping all over the Ticket the last 2 weeks. Sunday will be no different.

Raised On Riots
09-26-2009, 01:23 PM
It's going to be a good game, and a real test of mental toughness for NYJ. I think the Tits will have more ambition, but Ryan will out coach them in the end.