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View Full Version : Life Is it okay to freely pass gas at the urinal?


cdcox
09-24-2009, 01:02 PM
I always thought this was acceptable, seeing as how it a necessary biological function and is frowned up on in general company. You have to fart somewhere, right?

I was just doing so while a student was using a urinal next to me and he bust out laughing like he could not believe I was doing such a thing.

Furthermore, I should have also been covered by the man law that declares that no man shall acknowledge the existence of another man while both are urinating. I'm thinking he was way out of line here.

Am I wrong to consider the men's room a fart-away zone?

BigChiefFan
09-24-2009, 01:02 PM
I'm laughing, too.

CrazyPhuD
09-24-2009, 01:03 PM
As long as you're not meat peeking while you do it.

Donger
09-24-2009, 01:04 PM
No, I don't think it should be free.

tooge
09-24-2009, 01:04 PM
its expected

Pestilence
09-24-2009, 01:04 PM
Of course it's ok.

And you should have pissed on that kid's shoes for acknowledging you.

OnTheWarpath58
09-24-2009, 01:05 PM
Of course it's ok.

And you should have pissed on that kid's shoes for acknowledging you.

LMAO

bishop_74
09-24-2009, 01:05 PM
You are correct... in the bathroom, whether at the urinal or a stall, it is perfectly acceptable to untie the balloon knot.

Stinger
09-24-2009, 01:06 PM
Of course it's ok.

And you should have pissed on that kid's shoes for acknowledging you.

This

OnTheWarpath58
09-24-2009, 01:07 PM
It's fine, as long as you don't want to discuss it.

I was in the Men's room at Nordstrom the other day when an older guy a few urinals down ripped the wettest, nastiest fart I've ever heard.

Then he goes on to tell everyone in the room that he thinks he shit his pants, and walks into a stall to check.

"Yep, I sure did."

:shake:

Frazod
09-24-2009, 01:11 PM
Was it a funny sounding fart? I mean, sometimes you can't help but laugh.

BigRichard
09-24-2009, 01:14 PM
I thought there was man rules about going into a stall next to someone shitting and proceed to take a dump yourself.

Mizzou_8541
09-24-2009, 01:14 PM
It's fine, as long as you don't want to discuss it.

I was in the Men's room at Nordstrom the other day when an older guy a few urinals down ripped the wettest, nastiest fart I've ever heard.

Then he goes on to tell everyone in the room that he thinks he shit his pants, and walks into a stall to check.

"Yep, I sure did."

:shake:

ROFL Holy crap, that's funny.

kindra68
09-24-2009, 01:14 PM
Of course it's ok.

And you should have pissed on that kid's shoes for acknowledging you.

I'm a chick, and i agree with this.

Simply Red
09-24-2009, 01:16 PM
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/KnOaMC8KHA4&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KnOaMC8KHA4&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

booger
09-24-2009, 01:17 PM
as long as it wasn't unfiltered with your pants and undies down around your ankles i don't see a problem with it.

KCUnited
09-24-2009, 01:18 PM
In San Fransisco it can mean you're a bottom.

Chief Faithful
09-24-2009, 01:19 PM
Of course it's ok.

And you should have pissed on that kid's shoes for acknowledging you.


These are they type comments that make CP one of my favorite daily visits.

cdcox
09-24-2009, 01:22 PM
Was it a funny sounding fart? I mean, sometimes you can't help but laugh.

Could be.

Me: fart fart

Him: *OMG my prof is farting* [struggles to keep composure]

Me: farrrt

Him: [busts out laughing] "You're killing me over here!"

DeezNutz
09-24-2009, 01:22 PM
It's fine, as long as you don't want to discuss it.

I was in the Men's room at Nordstrom the other day when an older guy a few urinals down ripped the wettest, nastiest fart I've ever heard.

Then he goes on to tell everyone in the room that he thinks he shit his pants, and walks into a stall to check.

"Yep, I sure did."

:shake:

LMAO

And cdcox, it's ok for "normal" folks, but as this kid's professor or potential professor, you do not exist in the natural world. And robots don't shit themselves at the urinal.

DeezNutz
09-24-2009, 01:25 PM
I like to go to the lowest urinal in the restroom, the one that damn near is resting on the floor, and boldly proclaim that I have to use this apparatus because Ty-D-Bowl irritates my tip.

Donger
09-24-2009, 01:25 PM
What about chatting away on one's cell phone in a public bathroom?

Pestilence
09-24-2009, 01:26 PM
What about chatting away on one's cell phone in a public bathroom?

That is a no. A bathroom should be free from any conversations....in person or on a mobile device.

seclark
09-24-2009, 01:28 PM
yes, it's ok to fart at the urinal. but, it's also ok to laugh about it.
everyone wins, but the janitor.
sec

seclark
09-24-2009, 01:29 PM
What about chatting away on one's cell phone in a public bathroom?

hell no.
sec

aturnis
09-24-2009, 01:30 PM
I always thought this was acceptable, seeing as how it a necessary biological function and is frowned up on in general company. You have to fart somewhere, right?

I was just doing so while a student was using a urinal next to me and he bust out laughing like he could not believe I was doing such a thing.

Furthermore, I should have also been covered by the man law that declares that no man shall acknowledge the existence of another man while both are urinating. I'm thinking he was way out of line here.

Am I wrong to consider the men's room a fart-away zone?

I really don't think this is acceptable unless you are a incontinent old man. In which case, ain't shit anyone can do about it. Yeah, if it were me, I would prefer not to be forced to smell you insides while I piss.

aturnis
09-24-2009, 01:33 PM
What about chatting away on one's cell phone in a public bathroom?

Not in a public bathroom, but in the privacy of my own home, you should consider yourself lucky if I don't take our conversation to the shitter.

Shag
09-24-2009, 01:36 PM
What about chatting away on one's cell phone in a public bathroom?

In an airport bathroom earlier this week, a guy was in the shitter, talking on his phone, and just ripping loud farts constantly. Sounded like a perfectly normal conversation, too - not a "frat buddy" type of call. Was really bizarre...

MVChiefFan
09-24-2009, 01:37 PM
Let's just be honest. It doesn't matter where or when you fart, someone who hears it is going to laugh about it. I, personally, would feel weird rippin' ass right in front of someone I'm not totally comfortable with. I think the stall provides more of a boundary for such functions. One could still hear it but without the actual viewing of the "reliever" it becomes less of a monumental thing.

sedated
09-24-2009, 01:38 PM
so now we can't fart in the bathroom if someone else is in there?

pussification of america...

that's what the bathroom is for.

what if we are taking a shit? are we supposed to do it quietly?

bevischief
09-24-2009, 01:39 PM
It's fine, as long as you don't want to discuss it.

I was in the Men's room at Nordstrom the other day when an older guy a few urinals down ripped the wettest, nastiest fart I've ever heard.

Then he goes on to tell everyone in the room that he thinks he shit his pants, and walks into a stall to check.

"Yep, I sure did."

:shake:

ROFL

38yrsfan
09-24-2009, 01:40 PM
As long as it is within cap and trade quidelines you are good.

bevischief
09-24-2009, 01:41 PM
I like to go to the lowest urinal in the restroom, the one that damn near is resting on the floor, and boldly proclaim that I have to use this apparatus because Ty-D-Bowl irritates my tip.

ROFL

Mile High Mania
09-24-2009, 01:41 PM
You referenced the guy as "a student", so you're a teacher/professor... right? That's likely why he laughed.

bevischief
09-24-2009, 01:42 PM
What about chatting away on one's cell phone in a public bathroom?

I just keep flushing the toilet till they hang up or finish...

:D

ChiTown
09-24-2009, 01:43 PM
John Thompson, former Georgetown Hoops Coach, farted right next to me in the Pittsburgh A/P restroom years ago. Not just farted, but he incinerated the back of his pants and burnt my olfactory nerves............

Chief Faithful
09-24-2009, 01:45 PM
I thought according to the man rules you can fart anytime as long as there are no pretty women in the immediate area.

CoMoChief
09-24-2009, 01:45 PM
I always thought this was acceptable, seeing as how it a necessary biological function and is frowned up on in general company. You have to fart somewhere, right?

I was just doing so while a student was using a urinal next to me and he bust out laughing like he could not believe I was doing such a thing.

Furthermore, I should have also been covered by the man law that declares that no man shall acknowledge the existence of another man while both are urinating. I'm thinking he was way out of line here.

Am I wrong to consider the men's room a fart-away zone?

Go squat in a stall....You never know, something may come out.

There was one time, I somewhat chewed this guy out. We have 5 urinals, 5 stalls in the employees restroom by our lounge area. There was myself, this asshole, and another guy in the far stall pinchin' off a loaf as well. I'm washing my hands, just got done getting rid of this butt demon of a shit. And this asshole walks in (no one at any of the urinals) opens the stall door, does NOT even lift the ****in toilet seat. And starts to piss. I immediately get irritated as shit and say, "Hey man I can't believe that there isn't 1 single urinal being used and you come into a stall, which are for people to sit down and shit, and you're gonna piss all over the toilet seat" He looked at me like a deer in headlights. Then I told him to "Go use a damn Urinal if you're gonna piss." He didn't say anything. I think he was afraid I was going to hit him, because I was really pissed off. I just can't stand when I need to shit, and given the vast # of urinals in the bathroom, that people piss on the toilets in the stalls. I understand if all of the urinals are occupied and you need to piss in a stall, that's one thing, then lift up the seat and wipe off what you messed given youre accuracy sucks, but when there are urinals there available, and you go into a stall to piss....WTF is wrong with people?

Does this irritate anyone else?

EyePod
09-24-2009, 01:47 PM
As you get older you stop caring, so go ahead.

38yrsfan
09-24-2009, 01:50 PM
Go squat in a stall....You never know, something may come out.

There was one time, I somewhat chewed this guy out. We have 5 urinals, 5 stalls in the employees restroom by our lounge area. There was myself, this asshole, and another guy in the far stall pinchin' off a loaf as well. I'm washing my hands, just got done getting rid of this butt demon of a shit. And this asshole walks in (no one at any of the urinals) opens the stall door, does NOT even lift the ****in toilet seat. And starts to piss. I immediately get irritated as shit and say, "Hey man I can't believe that there isn't 1 single urinal being used and you come into a stall, which are for people to sit down and shit, and you're gonna piss all over the toilet seat" He looked at me like a deer in headlights. Then I told him to "Go use a damn Urinal if you're gonna piss." He didn't say anything. I think he was afraid I was going to hit him, because I was really pissed off. I just can't stand when I need to shit, and given the vast # of urinals in the bathroom, that people piss on the toilets in the stalls. I understand if all of the urinals are occupied and you need to piss in a stall, that's one thing, then lift up the seat and wipe off what you messed given youre accuracy sucks, but when there are urinals there available, and you go into a stall to piss....WTF is wrong with people?

Does this irritate anyone else?

Inconsideration irriates me more than rampant ignorance and both are a bane to a person of higher values.

aturnis
09-24-2009, 01:51 PM
so now we can't fart in the bathroom if someone else is in there?

pussification of america...

that's what the bathroom is for.

what if we are taking a shit? are we supposed to do it quietly?

You can fart wherever you want, just not right next to me while we both have our junk out. Just don't think that's ok. Go ahead, fart in the stall, fart at the sink as long as noone's too close. Hell, why couldn't you fart on your walk down the hall so long as it's not loud enough to embarrass yourself. Crop dust some mother****ers, I don't care. Just don't make an already awkward situation any more awkward.

I think the only place in public it's not ok to unleash a stealthy fart is in an empty elevator. If you do that, you're just asking for trouble. You know as soon as you let go of that steamer, the doors will open and a nice young hottie will inevitably walk through the doors.

Buehler445
09-24-2009, 01:53 PM
It's acceptable as long as you aren't hindering someone's ability to live. At my job the urinals go like this:

Wall
__________________
W| urinal | shorty
A|
L|
L|________________
Wall

With shorty being the ADA urinal that is sitting on the floor. I'm a pretty tall dude (that unlike most of you folks) doesn't have to unroll his weiner to take a leak. Accordingly, I don't want to use the shorty urinal. I'm forced to block myself in using the tall urinal. If some dude pulls up and uses the shorty and proceeds to crap his pants, I'm going to push him into the shorty urinal.
Posted via Mobile Device

Skip Towne
09-24-2009, 01:55 PM
You should never fart anywhere. Women don't fart and neither should you you nasty bastard.

Iowanian
09-24-2009, 01:57 PM
Its' perfectly acceptable as long as you acknowledge what you've done, at very least with a sign of relief....or a vocal "good one, huh"

Simply Red
09-24-2009, 02:00 PM
sedated is just mad about EVERYTHING lately, even farting freedom(s)

booger
09-24-2009, 02:05 PM
if you want to take your free hand and lift a cheek to make the fart louder or cup your hand to make duck calls, make sure you are alone. Or do it in the ladies rest room.

MVChiefFan
09-24-2009, 02:06 PM
Go squat in a stall....You never know, something may come out.

There was one time, I somewhat chewed this guy out. We have 5 urinals, 5 stalls in the employees restroom by our lounge area. There was myself, this asshole, and another guy in the far stall pinchin' off a loaf as well. I'm washing my hands, just got done getting rid of this butt demon of a shit. And this asshole walks in (no one at any of the urinals) opens the stall door, does NOT even lift the ****in toilet seat. And starts to piss. I immediately get irritated as shit and say, "Hey man I can't believe that there isn't 1 single urinal being used and you come into a stall, which are for people to sit down and shit, and you're gonna piss all over the toilet seat" He looked at me like a deer in headlights. Then I told him to "Go use a damn Urinal if you're gonna piss." He didn't say anything. I think he was afraid I was going to hit him, because I was really pissed off. I just can't stand when I need to shit, and given the vast # of urinals in the bathroom, that people piss on the toilets in the stalls. I understand if all of the urinals are occupied and you need to piss in a stall, that's one thing, then lift up the seat and wipe off what you messed given youre accuracy sucks, but when there are urinals there available, and you go into a stall to piss....WTF is wrong with people?

Does this irritate anyone else?


I remember hearing in health class that if you're uncircumsized you need to wipe it out with toilet paper after you pee. I, being circumsized, have no idea if this is a problem but maybe that could be the case. :shrug:

wildcat09
09-24-2009, 02:13 PM
An old man next to me at a urinal farted the other night at the Royals game while peeing and I damn near lost it. I let out a little snicker and the guy on the other side couldn't hold it and he busted out laughing. Then of course I had to laugh about him laughing. I pissed all over the floor I was laughing so hard. The old man even giggled a little.........I turn 30 next week and I still chuckle everytime I hear a fart. I will be 90 and still laugh at fart noises..........I am laughing right now thinking about it.......

Dartgod
09-24-2009, 02:15 PM
If Ross Perot can do it, then so can I.

BigRichard
09-24-2009, 02:21 PM
I love this!

http://www.apresx.com/thread.php?t=1686

Work Poop Etiquette

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, the following is a Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone gets a whiff, but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY: This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk In and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave And come back again. Be careful not the become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going to the bathroom.

ESCAPEE: This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal Or forcing a poop in a stall. This usually is accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release and ESCAPEE, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an ESCAPEE. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK: When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, DO NOT PANIC. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH: This is the act of flushing the toilet the instant the Poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME: This happens when you walk form the stall, to the sink, and to the door after you just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

SAFE HAVENS: This is a seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR: This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when talking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

ASTAIRE: This is a subtle toe‑tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear and ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON: This is a poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO‑COUGH.

CAMO‑COUGH: This is a phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in the stall. This can be used to cover up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. This can be very Effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

HAVANA OMELET: This happens with a case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. This is often accompanied by an ESCAPEE. Try using a CAMO‑COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

UNCLE TED: This is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. This individual spends extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper. You should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This will benefit you as well as the others in the building.

MVChiefFan
09-24-2009, 02:22 PM
An old man next to me at a urinal farted the other night at the Royals game while peeing and I damn near lost it. I let out a little snicker and the guy on the other side couldn't hold it and he busted out laughing. Then of course I had to laugh about him laughing. I pissed all over the floor I was laughing so hard. The old man even giggled a little.........I turn 30 next week and I still chuckle everytime I hear a fart. I will be 90 and still laugh at fart noises..........I am laughing right now thinking about it.......


It's the way of the world. It's the only thing my ten year-old cousin and I have in common. :D

gblowfish
09-24-2009, 02:23 PM
Sure, as long as you loudly announce "Hey, who stepped on a duck???"

wildcat09
09-24-2009, 02:24 PM
I love this!

http://www.apresx.com/thread.php?t=1686

Work Poop Etiquette

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, the following is a Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone gets a whiff, but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY: This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk In and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave And come back again. Be careful not the become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going to the bathroom.

ESCAPEE: This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal Or forcing a poop in a stall. This usually is accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release and ESCAPEE, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an ESCAPEE. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK: When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, DO NOT PANIC. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH: This is the act of flushing the toilet the instant the Poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME: This happens when you walk form the stall, to the sink, and to the door after you just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

SAFE HAVENS: This is a seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR: This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when talking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

ASTAIRE: This is a subtle toe‑tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear and ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON: This is a poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO‑COUGH.

CAMO‑COUGH: This is a phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in the stall. This can be used to cover up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. This can be very Effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

HAVANA OMELET: This happens with a case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. This is often accompanied by an ESCAPEE. Try using a CAMO‑COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

UNCLE TED: This is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. This individual spends extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper. You should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This will benefit you as well as the others in the building.




I love thisROFL

MVChiefFan
09-24-2009, 02:26 PM
Sure, as long as you loudly announce "Hey, who stepped on a duck???"

Damn barking spiders!

wildcat09
09-24-2009, 02:27 PM
It's the way of the world. It's the only thing my ten year-old cousin and I have in common. :D

I hear that.......farts are proof God has a sense of humor.

Demonpenz
09-24-2009, 02:27 PM
It's fine, as long as you don't want to discuss it.

I was in the Men's room at Nordstrom the other day when an older guy a few urinals down ripped the wettest, nastiest fart I've ever heard.

Then he goes on to tell everyone in the room that he thinks he shit his pants, and walks into a stall to check.

"Yep, I sure did."

:shake:

sure that wasn't on shitmydadsays?

wildcat09
09-24-2009, 02:29 PM
Damn barking spiders!


I like using "that a-hole is talking chit behind your back!"

seclark
09-24-2009, 02:34 PM
it's the schitter, guys...smokem if you gottem, and lightem if you lettum.
sec

MVChiefFan
09-24-2009, 02:35 PM
I like using "that a-hole is talking chit behind your back!"

ROFL NICE! That will now be used frequently...with your permission of course.

wildcat09
09-24-2009, 02:38 PM
ROFL NICE! That will now be used frequently...with your permission of course.


Absolutely......fire away

Baby Lee
09-24-2009, 03:12 PM
Urinal farts are extry funneh because they're not so much volitional, but more often than not a function of exerting urinary pressure.

Kind of like those farts you always got in HS PE when everyone is doing reclining leg extensions.

baitism
09-24-2009, 03:24 PM
I'll fart wherever and whenever I want to as long as I am ok with it. I don't care about anyone else's pussy rules on it.

jidar
09-24-2009, 03:47 PM
yeah but that doesn't mean it isn't funny.

Ebolapox
09-24-2009, 03:54 PM
yeah, it's ok to freely pass gas. it's also ok for me to snicker at it.

Stewie
09-24-2009, 04:17 PM
I thought according to the man rules you can fart anytime as long as there are no pretty women in the immediate area.

I always KNEW that when I let a nasty one rip a pretty girl would walk in 30 seconds later. Turns out that never happens - they're ugly and sniffing for the source.

Pablo
09-24-2009, 04:25 PM
Yeah, you can fart in a bathroom if you like. You can also piss, shit, sneeze, and vomit if you like. It's a bathroom FFS. But beware that farts are usually pretty funny noises. I might snicker at a fart depending on how it sounded. I certainly wouldn't get offended if someone farted near me in a bathroom; and you shouldn't be offended is someone finds your gas humorous.

RJ
09-24-2009, 04:27 PM
You are correct on both counts, cd. While not necessarily encouraged, farting is certainly acceptable at a urinal. And the student completely violated man law by laughing. He's probably gay.

Count Zarth
09-24-2009, 05:27 PM
It's also acceptable in crowded movie theaters, provided you are not with a lady.

listopencil
09-24-2009, 05:29 PM
It's fine, as long as you don't want to discuss it.

I was in the Men's room at Nordstrom the other day when an older guy a few urinals down ripped the wettest, nastiest fart I've ever heard.

Then he goes on to tell everyone in the room that he thinks he shit his pants, and walks into a stall to check.

"Yep, I sure did."

:shake:


Heh, that's some funny shit.

Fat Elvis
09-24-2009, 06:40 PM
I always thought this was acceptable, seeing as how it a necessary biological function and is frowned up on in general company. You have to fart somewhere, right?

I was just doing so while a student was using a urinal next to me and he bust out laughing like he could not believe I was doing such a thing.

Furthermore, I should have also been covered by the man law that declares that no man shall acknowledge the existence of another man while both are urinating. I'm thinking he was way out of line here.

Am I wrong to consider the men's room a fart-away zone?

It was okay to fart, you stepped over the line, however, when you asked your student to pull your finger.

BigMeatballDave
09-24-2009, 06:58 PM
It's fine, as long as you don't want to discuss it.

I was in the Men's room at Nordstrom the other day when an older guy a few urinals down ripped the wettest, nastiest fart I've ever heard.

Then he goes on to tell everyone in the room that he thinks he shit his pants, and walks into a stall to check.

"Yep, I sure did."

:shake:
ROFL

Boon
09-24-2009, 07:00 PM
Bathrooms were made for farting.

cdcox
09-24-2009, 08:13 PM
I seriously didn't mind him laughing. I told him that I always figured it was okay to pass gas in the bathroom and he joked back that, it he could understand that since I always have my office door open.


On a slightly related note, in the parking lot after work a couple of the women that work in my office were relating something to each other they obviously found funny. Turns out someone dropped a deuce in the men's room closet a couple floors down from me. I find that level of anti-social behavior a little disturbing. :shake:

Buehler445
09-24-2009, 10:21 PM
I seriously didn't mind him laughing. I told him that I always figured it was okay to pass gas in the bathroom and he joked back that, it he could understand that since I always have my office door open.


On a slightly related note, in the parking lot after work a couple of the women that work in my office were relating something to each other they obviously found funny. Turns out someone dropped a deuce in the men's room closet a couple floors down from me. I find that level of anti-social behavior a little disturbing. :shake:

I never got the urge to poop on someone's property.

Buehler445
09-24-2009, 10:24 PM
It's acceptable as long as you aren't hindering someone's ability to live. At my job the urinals go like this:

Wall
__________________
W| urinal | shorty
A|
L|
L|________________
Wall

With shorty being the ADA urinal that is sitting on the floor. I'm a pretty tall dude (that unlike most of you folks) doesn't have to unroll his weiner to take a leak. Accordingly, I don't want to use the shorty urinal. I'm forced to block myself in using the tall urinal. If some dude pulls up and uses the shorty and proceeds to crap his pants, I'm going to push him into the shorty urinal.
Posted via Mobile Device

I can't believe nobody commented on my drawing. That was hard as fuck on my blackberry!

BigMeatballDave
09-24-2009, 10:24 PM
I do it. And I giggle while I do it...

Saccopoo
09-24-2009, 10:29 PM
http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:756

cdcox
09-24-2009, 10:32 PM
I can't believe nobody commented on my drawing. That was hard as **** on my blackberry!

That is the same layout as my episode, except I was at the tall boy, so at least he wasn't trapped.

Buehler445
09-24-2009, 10:33 PM
That is the same layout as my episode, except I was at the tall boy, so at least he wasn't trapped.

Good for you, you're a good citizen.

wildcat09
09-24-2009, 10:46 PM
This thread is consuming my life. I was taking a leak in the bathroom at the gym and started to giggle just thinking about this thread........and then I farted.....

DeezNutz
09-24-2009, 10:50 PM
I can't believe nobody commented on my drawing. That was hard as **** on my blackberry!

It was a very fine rendition, Buehler.

Oh, and sorry about the small penis.

Mr. Kotter
09-24-2009, 11:03 PM
Of course, it's "okay"....duh....

Any F-A-G-G-O-T that considers "this" a violation....ought to be castrated with a dirty, and rusted, butchers knife...

Seriously. :shrug:

At the very least, he DESEREVES a Tatoo on his friggin' forehead that says, "Metrosexual--for life."

That is all.... :shake:

cdcox
09-24-2009, 11:11 PM
It was a very fine rendition, Buehler.

Oh, and sorry about the small penis.

LMAO

Psyko Tek
09-24-2009, 11:28 PM
Go squat in a stall....You never know, something may come out.

There was one time, I somewhat chewed this guy out. We have 5 urinals, 5 stalls in the employees restroom by our lounge area. There was myself, this asshole, and another guy in the far stall pinchin' off a loaf as well. I'm washing my hands, just got done getting rid of this butt demon of a shit. And this asshole walks in (no one at any of the urinals) opens the stall door, does NOT even lift the ****in toilet seat. And starts to piss. I immediately get irritated as shit and say, "Hey man I can't believe that there isn't 1 single urinal being used and you come into a stall, which are for people to sit down and shit, and you're gonna piss all over the toilet seat" He looked at me like a deer in headlights. Then I told him to "Go use a damn Urinal if you're gonna piss." He didn't say anything. I think he was afraid I was going to hit him, because I was really pissed off. I just can't stand when I need to shit, and given the vast # of urinals in the bathroom, that people piss on the toilets in the stalls. I understand if all of the urinals are occupied and you need to piss in a stall, that's one thing, then lift up the seat and wipe off what you messed given youre accuracy sucks, but when there are urinals there available, and you go into a stall to piss....WTF is wrong with people?

Does this irritate anyone else?

nope

Shaid
09-24-2009, 11:35 PM
I've never done it and I've never had anyone do it while I was next to them. I'd have probably thought it was odd too.

Mr. Flopnuts
09-25-2009, 01:32 AM
I seriously didn't mind him laughing. I told him that I always figured it was okay to pass gas in the bathroom and he joked back that, it he could understand that since I always have my office door open.


On a slightly related note, in the parking lot after work a couple of the women that work in my office were relating something to each other they obviously found funny. Turns out someone dropped a deuce in the men's room closet a couple floors down from me. I find that level of anti-social behavior a little disturbing. :shake:

LMAO Reminds me of a great story my buddy's dad told me.

He works for an aerospace company that manufactures parts for Boeing. It's unionized and they were having a dispute about wages, and benefits a few years back. Big shocker, I know.

Anywho, he went into the mens room as his shift was ending one night and someone took a dump on the bathroom floor, proceeded to pick up their steaming pile of dung, and smeared the words "Fuck management" all over the bathroom mirror.

What the fuck inspires someone to take such action is beyond me, but God bless their hearts for providing the humor.

Guru
09-25-2009, 02:24 AM
Go squat in a stall....You never know, something may come out.

There was one time, I somewhat chewed this guy out. We have 5 urinals, 5 stalls in the employees restroom by our lounge area. There was myself, this asshole, and another guy in the far stall pinchin' off a loaf as well. I'm washing my hands, just got done getting rid of this butt demon of a shit. And this asshole walks in (no one at any of the urinals) opens the stall door, does NOT even lift the ****in toilet seat. And starts to piss. I immediately get irritated as shit and say, "Hey man I can't believe that there isn't 1 single urinal being used and you come into a stall, which are for people to sit down and shit, and you're gonna piss all over the toilet seat" He looked at me like a deer in headlights. Then I told him to "Go use a damn Urinal if you're gonna piss." He didn't say anything. I think he was afraid I was going to hit him, because I was really pissed off. I just can't stand when I need to shit, and given the vast # of urinals in the bathroom, that people piss on the toilets in the stalls. I understand if all of the urinals are occupied and you need to piss in a stall, that's one thing, then lift up the seat and wipe off what you messed given youre accuracy sucks, but when there are urinals there available, and you go into a stall to piss....WTF is wrong with people?

Does this irritate anyone else?Actually, I get irritated by people like you that think a person isn't entitled to privacy when relieving themselves. I hate the ****in urinals and wish they would completely eliminate them.

The guy was obviously not concerned with his privacy since he didn't shut the door and was also a fuqtard for not lifting the seat as well as cleaning up his mess. I'm not defending this guy you ran into but I'll use the damned stall every single time thank you very much.

KCChiefsMan
09-25-2009, 02:34 AM
I say if there is someone in the stall right next to you, then no. 2 stalls away, fine.

MichaelH
09-25-2009, 02:55 AM
There may be some discretion involved. I think a little gas is acceptable as long as nobody is standing in the next urinal. But if you let out major wind or blow chunks, that's a foul.

badgirl
09-25-2009, 04:04 AM
There may be some discretion involved. I think a little gas is acceptable as long as nobody is standing in the next urinal. But if you let out major wind or blow chunks, that's a foul.

I agree.

Fritz88
09-25-2009, 04:19 AM
no it's uncool to do so.

gblowfish
09-25-2009, 08:58 AM
John Thompson, former Georgetown Hoops Coach, farted right next to me in the Pittsburgh A/P restroom years ago. Not just farted, but he incinerated the back of his pants and burnt my olfactory nerves............

Did he have a towel over his shoulder?

BigCatDaddy
09-25-2009, 09:11 AM
Did he have a towel over his shoulder?

That may explain whe he carries one, just in case.....

Buehler445
09-25-2009, 09:21 AM
It was a very fine rendition, Buehler.

Oh, and sorry about the small penis.

Thanks Deez. I've come to terms with it. I mean really, how can I compete with you guys who have to unroll your shit AND untie it from around your knees?
Posted via Mobile Device

SenselessChiefsFan
09-25-2009, 09:28 AM
As long as your not a woman...

wildcat09
09-25-2009, 10:32 AM
[QUOTE=SensibleChiefsfan;6107832]As long as your not a woman...[/QUOTE

In college I heard my girlfriend squeak one out while she was peeing one morning at my apartment. I fell out of bed I was laughing so hard.

scott free
09-25-2009, 10:35 AM
If you cant fart in the bathroom, where are you supposed to do it?

i'm sure not going to wait around for the room to clear before i get some relief.

wildcat09
09-25-2009, 10:40 AM
If you cant fart in the bathroom, where are you supposed to do it?

i'm sure not going to wait around for the room to clear before i get some relief.


I don't suggest farting in a hot, steamy shower......turns the space into a gas chamber.......horrifying

scott free
09-25-2009, 10:44 AM
I don't suggest farting in a hot, steamy shower......turns the space into a gas chamber.......horrifying


LOL...yeah, steam magnifies the savory flavor like salt on food.

wildcat09
09-25-2009, 10:49 AM
LOL...yeah, steam magnifies the savory flavor like salt on food.


I nearly died on my honeymoon because of this........my wife swears she saw a green fog coming from the shower.

Demonpenz
09-25-2009, 10:50 AM
one time when i was like in 8th grade and I was like a 230 pound 8th grader fatty and sweaty i ate some hardboiled eggs or something greesy and we were at an all day choir event and I tried so hard not to fart but i just did. it was silent. It was so nasty that I didn't think it smelt like a fart. Smelled like burnt hair combined with afterbirth

scott free
09-25-2009, 10:51 AM
I nearly died on my honeymoon because of this........my wife swears she saw a green fog coming from the shower.

LMAO, hope it didnt ruin 'the mood'.

wildcat09
09-25-2009, 10:55 AM
LMAO, hope it didnt ruin 'the mood'.

nah....we had already completed "the deed" and we have been together for over 2 years so she knows I fart.......it doesn't even faze her anymore......kinda liked it more when she reacted. Takes the fun out when she just sits there:(

burt
09-25-2009, 11:51 AM
This needs to be a poll.....with a "gaz" option.............

Rain Man
09-25-2009, 11:55 AM
I'm behind on this thread so I don't know if the core issue has been decided, but I have to disagree with cdcox on this one. The social rule for passing gas has nothing to do with location: men's room, stadium, forest clearing, bus, nothing.

The social rules for passing gas are:

1. It is only acceptable to pass gas if no other people are present to hear or smell it, with only one exception.

2. The only exception to Rule 1 is if you are reasonably certain that you cannot be identified as the originator, which means that a) it must be silent, and b) there must be more than one other person present along each major axis, so that the direction of the smell vector cannot be traced definitively to you.


So in cdcox's case, it would be acceptable to pass gas at a urinal if the act was silent and if there was a person on his left and on his right such that the smell could not be traced unilaterally to cdcox by either of the other people present. (This is an easy situation, by the way, because the urinals are naturally along the same axis. This may be what caused the confusion in cdcox's mind.)

Mr. Flopnuts
09-25-2009, 12:04 PM
I'm behind on this thread so I don't know if the core issue has been decided, but I have to disagree with cdcox on this one. The social rule for passing gas has nothing to do with location: men's room, stadium, forest clearing, bus, nothing.

The social rules for passing gas are:

1. It is only acceptable to pass gas if no other people are present to hear or smell it, with only one exception.

2. The only exception to Rule 1 is if you are reasonably certain that you cannot be identified as the originator, which means that a) it must be silent, and b) there must be more than one other person present along each major axis, so that the direction of the smell vector cannot be traced definitively to you.


So in cdcox's case, it would be acceptable to pass gas at a urinal if the act was silent and if there was a person on his left and on his right such that the smell could not be traced unilaterally to cdcox by either of the other people present. (This is an easy situation, by the way, because the urinals are naturally along the same axis. This may be what caused the confusion in cdcox's mind.)

I'd like to further expound on this. There is a 3rd rule. If you are in a crowd of people, and are not confident that your fart will be silent, find the closest obese person. Whenever a fart occurs in public, all eyes immediately go the fat guy. This is a slam dunk everytime.

wildcat09
09-25-2009, 12:07 PM
I'm behind on this thread so I don't know if the core issue has been decided, but I have to disagree with cdcox on this one. The social rule for passing gas has nothing to do with location: men's room, stadium, forest clearing, bus, nothing.

The social rules for passing gas are:

1. It is only acceptable to pass gas if no other people are present to hear or smell it, with only one exception.

2. The only exception to Rule 1 is if you are reasonably certain that you cannot be identified as the originator, which means that a) it must be silent, and b) there must be more than one other person present along each major axis, so that the direction of the smell vector cannot be traced definitively to you.


So in cdcox's case, it would be acceptable to pass gas at a urinal if the act was silent and if there was a person on his left and on his right such that the smell could not be traced unilaterally to cdcox by either of the other people present. (This is an easy situation, by the way, because the urinals are naturally along the same axis. This may be what caused the confusion in cdcox's mind.)

I kind of like to take credit for my work :shrug:

burt
09-25-2009, 12:07 PM
Okay....I was at work one day. THOUGHT I had to poop.....rushed to the mens rooma and the favorite cubicle was taken. I went to the second stall. As soon as my ass hit the toilet I let out the loudest, longest fart of my (at that time) 48 years of existence. Then I heard my Finance Director, from the next stall....say.........."Wow...that was awesome..." and I burst into unconrtollable laughter.

burt
09-25-2009, 12:09 PM
I'm behind on this thread so I don't know if the core issue has been decided, but I have to disagree with cdcox on this one. The social rule for passing gas has nothing to do with location: men's room, stadium, forest clearing, bus, nothing.

The social rules for passing gas are:

1. It is only acceptable to pass gas if no other people are present to hear or smell it, with only one exception.

2. The only exception to Rule 1 is if you are reasonably certain that you cannot be identified as the originator, which means that a) it must be silent, and b) there must be more than one other person present along each major axis, so that the direction of the smell vector cannot be traced definitively to you.


So in cdcox's case, it would be acceptable to pass gas at a urinal if the act was silent and if there was a person on his left and on his right such that the smell could not be traced unilaterally to cdcox by either of the other people present. (This is an easy situation, by the way, because the urinals are naturally along the same axis. This may be what caused the confusion in cdcox's mind.)

For the first time ever.....I disagree with Rainman. If ya can't fart in a bathroom.....then where? Have gas, will travel.........

Mr. Flopnuts
09-25-2009, 12:10 PM
Okay....I was at work one day. THOUGHT I had to poop.....rushed to the mens rooma and the favorite cubicle was taken. I went to the second stall. As soon as my ass hit the toilet I let out the loudest, longest fart of my (at that time) 48 years of existence. Then I heard my Finance Director, from the next stall....say.........."Wow...that was awesome..." and I burst into unconrtollable laughter.

LMAO For the record, the rules are completely different in car dealerships. You can negotiate a better car deal if you can prove to your salesman that your farts are more powerful than his. It's an intimidation factor.

burt
09-25-2009, 12:12 PM
LMAO For the record, the rules are completely different in car dealerships. You can negotiate a better car deal if you can prove to your salesman that your farts are more powerful than his. It's an intimidation factor.

There was true awe in his voice. He still talks of "The Ultimate Gas".......

Rain Man
09-25-2009, 12:13 PM
I'd like to further expound on this. There is a 3rd rule. If you are in a crowd of people, and are not confident that your fart will be silent, find the closest obese person. Whenever a fart occurs in public, all eyes immediately go the fat guy. This is a slam dunk everytime.


I'm not sure I can support this rule. I think it's in reality a subsetted outcome of Rule 2, because if you haven't solved the vector issue you're at great risk of being discovered, and at best the fat guy's presence may just create enough uncertainty for you to escape after detection.

I should mention another clarification, too. "Silent" really means "functionally silent". It is possible to successfully pull it off as long as any sound can be disguised by a strategically timed tennis shoe scuff, shift on a leather chair, or other clever ruse.

Mr. Flopnuts
09-25-2009, 12:15 PM
I'm not sure I can support this rule. I think it's in reality a subsetted outcome of Rule 2, because if you haven't solved the vector issue you're at great risk of being discovered, and at best the fat guy's presence may just create enough uncertainty for you to escape after detection.

I should mention another clarification, too. "Silent" really means "functionally silent". It is possible to successfully pull it off as long as any sound can be disguised by a strategically timed tennis shoe scuff, shift on a leather chair, or other clever ruse.

Ahh. My apologies Mr. Rainman. I hadn't fully recognized the "decoy effect."

Rain Man
09-25-2009, 12:15 PM
For the first time ever.....I disagree with Rainman. If ya can't fart in a bathroom.....then where? Have gas, will travel.........

Keep in mind that I'm talking about a urinal. While there is some level of disagreement about this, many people believe that envelopment in a restroom stall satisfies Rule 1 in its entirety.

I myself can agree with this, with one caveat. Being in a stall satisfies Rule 1 only if one is wearing shoes that are not easily identifiable once one leaves the bathroom.

burt
09-25-2009, 12:16 PM
Keep in mind that I'm talking about a urinal. While there is some level of disagreement about this, many people believe that envelopment in a restroom stall satisfies Rule 1 in its entirety.

I myself can agree with this, with one caveat. Being in a stall satisfies Rule 1 only if one is wearing shoes that are not easily identifiable once one leaves the bathroom.

My chortle gave me away.........especially since I followed it up with "DAYUM!!!"

Mr. Flopnuts
09-25-2009, 12:16 PM
Keep in mind that I'm talking about a urinal. While there is some level of disagreement about this, many people believe that envelopment in a restroom stall satisfies Rule 1 in its entirety.

I myself can agree with this, with one caveat. Being in a stall satisfies Rule 1 only if one is wearing shoes that are not easily identifiable once one leaves the bathroom.

LMAO That is hilarious! When I'm chumming for shark, I always look at the shoes of the people who come in. If they fart, I know their secret.

wildcat09
09-25-2009, 12:25 PM
There was true awe in his voice. He still talks of "The Ultimate Gas".......

ROFL I love this.....I have a similar story......it was during halftime of a basketball game when I was in high school. We were barely beating a team we should be destroying. Coach was giving us a tongue lashing and I had to rip one badly. I let it sneak out and I thought I was saved. Then one guy smelled it then another. You could see their faces turning green. Then coach got a whiff......I thought I was dead. He got this look on his face like he was going to tear me a new a-hole but then he started to laugh and the whole team lost it. I swear the paint on the walls was peeling off. Must have been what we needed because we went out and won by 30. I just had my 10 year reunion and the guys still remembered that fart. It was gas of legend.

bevischief
09-25-2009, 01:32 PM
I'd like to further expound on this. There is a 3rd rule. If you are in a crowd of people, and are not confident that your fart will be silent, find the closest obese person. Whenever a fart occurs in public, all eyes immediately go the fat guy. This is a slam dunk everytime.

ROFL:fart:

DeezNutz
09-25-2009, 01:34 PM
Thanks Deez. I've come to terms with it. I mean really, how can I compete with you guys who have to unroll your shit AND untie it from around your knees?
Posted via Mobile Device

It's a curse...

wildcat09
09-25-2009, 02:53 PM
It's a curse...

that urinal water is cold as chit......