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View Full Version : Poop NFT-- Tonight, I shit like never before.


Simply Red
10-20-2009, 06:07 PM
Very consistant, Very large, Very 'colon cleansing', Nice coloring,

Also, it's important, i had to flush twice! This pooping session were the aftermath of spaghetti, also, italian chicken, I'm not exactly sure which meal, and perhaps, some of both.





http://i38.tinypic.com/5a2h0.jpg

Buck
10-20-2009, 06:08 PM
Nice 19,000th post

JD10367
10-20-2009, 06:18 PM
I never have to flush twice, because I have the Best Toilet On Earth. It's on the top of the mall, literally. So there's about a bazillion pounds of gravity and suction force. The toilet could take down a Chihuahua alive and flailing, I swear. It may gurgle and gargle in protest, but it's never plugged. And I challenge it, really. I'm around 6'3" and 250#.

Count Zarth
10-20-2009, 06:19 PM
Does gravity really make a difference in flushing?

Gary
10-20-2009, 06:20 PM
Dare I say this thread is worthless without pics?

Simply Red
10-20-2009, 06:22 PM
Does gravity really make a difference in flushing?

per wiki -> A toilet works because of gravity. When a flush lever is pulled, a plug will open, allowing water to flow out to fill the basin. When the basin is full enough, gravity causes the liquid to flow out through a bend in the pipe, called an S trap.

Simply Red
10-20-2009, 06:23 PM
Dare I say this thread is worthless without pics?

last time someone dared, Greg63 came through, plus, too late, err, I'd be lying and stuff.

bevischief
10-20-2009, 06:23 PM
Dare I say this thread is worthless without pics?

we need proof....
Posted via Mobile Device

JD10367
10-20-2009, 06:24 PM
Does gravity really make a difference in flushing?

Certainly does for me here in work. I swear, the thing's got about an 80-dB flush. I've never seen a toilet with this much suckitude. I love it. Being a big guy, usually I've got to be pretty careful... you know, squeeze out a nice little ladylike loaf if I'm using a small home toilet. With this thing, I can hold it for a couple of days and grunt up a storm until there's a flagpole saluting me from the john. I can leave something in there that would make the Electric Boat Co. down in CT think they lost a nuclear sub. Doesn't matter. Flush, gurgle, wham, it's gone. Let me tell you, until you have the ability to take monster dumps without any consequence, you don't realize what a luxury it is...

Bwana
10-20-2009, 06:25 PM
Congrats!

Simply Red
10-20-2009, 06:27 PM
I never have to flush twice, because I have the Best Toilet On Earth. It's on the top of the mall, literally. So there's about a bazillion pounds of gravity and suction force. The toilet could take down a Chihuahua alive and flailing, I swear. It may gurgle and gargle in protest, but it's never plugged. And I challenge it, really. I'm around 6'3" and 250#.

there is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that JD10367's apartment overlooks the park... and is obviously more expensive than mine.

Simply Red
10-20-2009, 06:28 PM
thank you Bwana.

Goldmember
10-20-2009, 06:30 PM
I've had several huge dumps in my lifetime that have gotten lodged sideways and I've literally had to chop'em down to get it down the tube. Best thing for that is a wire hanger and then toss it in the trash. Don't know if an industrial strength toilet would have helped or not.

Bacon Cheeseburger
10-20-2009, 06:32 PM
I never have to flush twice, because I have the Best Toilet On Earth. It's on the top of the mall, literally. So there's about a bazillion pounds of gravity and suction force. The toilet could take down a Chihuahua alive and flailing, I swear. It may gurgle and gargle in protest, but it's never plugged. And I challenge it, really. I'm around 6'3" and 250#.
You're shitting down the elevator shaft?

Bwana
10-20-2009, 06:33 PM
thank you Bwana.

Why, you are very welcome. It's not everyday one can make that statement. (regarding a MASTER water biscuit)

JD10367
10-20-2009, 06:33 PM
there is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that JD10367's apartment overlooks the park... and is obviously more expensive than mine.

WTF??? You live on top of a shopping mall?

No, I meant the toilet in work. Although, technically, I think I'm there more than I'm at home. For example, right now. (Basically, when I'm on line, that means I'm in work.)

My apartment is a tiny craphole, with a tiny craphole of a craphole. I almost never use it for #2. Why drive a Yugo when you can go to work and drive a monster truck? :D

Crush
10-20-2009, 06:33 PM
http://www.independenttraveler.com/resources/article.cfm?AID=743&category=43


The World's Best (and Worst!) Toilets
http://www.independenttraveler.com/images/pixel.gif
To pee or not to pee? That is the question for travelers, who all too often find themselves in a foreign place with no relief in sight. Sometimes you'll get lucky and stumble upon a hotel (http://www.independenttraveler.com/resources/category.cfm?category=7) with luxurious and (more importantly) squeaky-clean public bathrooms. But when the porcelain gods aren't smiling ... well, let's just say you'll discover a whole new meaning for the term "squatter's rights."

Our well-traveled readers have seen their share of toilets, and they're the real authorities on which ones are the world's best ... and worst. So pull up a seat -- a toilet seat, that is -- and check out their true tales from the road. After you read theirs, don't forget to share your own (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/showthread.php?t=7022) on our message boards!

THE BEST OF THE BEST...

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Seven-Star Bathroom
"I was in the bar at the Burj Al Arab in Dubai (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=52) (the one in the top wing). This hotel is over the top and it claims to be the only seven-star hotel in the world. Well, the toilet was spotless. Once I had been to the toilet a guy went in to make sure that it was as spotless as it was before I went in there ... and when I washed my hands a guy was ready to hand me a real towel so that I could wipe my hands." -- gardkarlsen

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Industrial Chic
"My wife won't stop talking about 'how cool' the bathrooms are at the Massachusetts (http://www.independenttraveler.com/community/community_new.cfm?ID=7) Museum of Contemporary Fine Art. The whole space has that cool industrial aesthetic and I'll admit, the bathrooms had a true factory feel. She's into minimalism and modernism, so that works. Plus, they were clean. Very, very clean." -- TinFins

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp A Feast for the Senses
"In a hotel in Hamasaka, Japan (http://www.independenttraveler.com/community/community_new.cfm?ID=6), there was an electronic toilet seat that automatically started a fan to remove smells when you sat, and there was a built-in bidet, butt heater and sounds to cover bodily functions." -- hamsterwheel

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Royal Flush
"I was at the swanky Rittenhouse Hotel in Philadelphia (http://www.independenttraveler.com/community/community_new.cfm?ID=17), and the bathroom in the lobby was absolutely palatial. (I am not a luxury traveler at all, so it was an eye opener for me.) It had a little lounge sort of area with potted plants and sofas/chairs before you got to the actual toilet area. Those were pristine, of course, and the whole place smelled like flowers and other good things." -- soliteyah

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp What's Under the Lid?
"I had lunch at a restaurant called Trader Jack's in Rarotonga (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=143), and there's something hanging outside of the bathroom there that you simply can't miss. It's a toilet seat mounted on the wall that says 'Ass of the Week' on it. When you lift the lid, there's a mirror. What fun! The restrooms at Bloody Mary's restaurant and bar in Bora Bora are very cool too. They are alfresco; outdoors but obviously with bamboo and foliage for privacy. Waterfall sinks, phallic toilet flushers, super fun." -- travelmel

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp How to Find a Lovely Loo
"I can't recall a specific, great, public toilet, but in general I follow the advice of my friend's mother, who always searches out a major hotel chain (Marriott, Hyatt, Hilton) to use when traveling. They almost always have toilets open to the public off the lobby, which are usually spotless." -- GregW

...AND THE WORST OF THE WORST

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Okay, Where's the Real Bathroom?
"In Beijing (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=85) we went to a restaurant and I had to go to the loo but there was not a toilet in the place. So this one guy took me out of the restaurant and into the street and all of a sudden he points into a narrow and dark hallway ... there was just one light bulb hanging from the ceiling in there. When I walked in, it looked like they had just used a sledgehammer to make a hole in the floor." -- gardkarlsen

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Puke-Worthy Potty
"The worst bathroom of all time was here in the U.S. -- a port-a-potty at a PGA golf event in New Jersey (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=160). It was so hot and there were simply not enough potties for the crowds. I waited until I could wait no more and finally went in. I promptly threw up on the floor because it was so disgusting. I have never been so grossed out in my life. I really dislike when I am in another country and the toilet is a hole in the ground. But nothing can be worse than that port-a-potty." -- GenevieveS

I'll Just Be in the Bushes...
"The toilets on Mt. Kilimanjaro (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=61) were awful, small outhouses with squat toilets, and it looked like most people didn't even bother trying to hit the hole. Most of the people in my group gave up using them, and just took a shovel behind a bush and buried it there." -- GregW

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Ferry Fright
"My worst was in Indonesia (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=145) on a ferry from Bali/Paddang Bai to Lombok. There was just a very dirty hole in the floor -- with naturally no toilet paper, no water to clean yourself like they do in Indonesia, and no water to wash your hands." -- hamsterwheel

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures
"There were so many little train station bathrooms in Europe (http://www.independenttraveler.com/community/community_new.cfm?ID=4) that never failed to be out of toilet paper, soap, paper towels, etc. -- I took to carrying those little travel packs of tissues so that I'd have toilet paper. But on one occasion I was out of tissues and napkins, so I had to use a city map I had folded up in my pocket."
-- soliteyah

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Down in the Dumps
"The worst bathroom experience I've had was in Mumbai (Bombay) (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=10). It wasn't a bathroom per se, it was more an alley, where a nice Indian gentleman dropped trou and promptly dropped something else. At first, I was too shocked to feel any revulsion. But after a moment of befuddlement, it began to sink in what I had just seen." -- WackyHeathen

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp And for the Exhibitionists Among Us...
"I was totally freaked out by the public urinals in Amsterdam (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=130). If you haven't seen them, go Google 'Amsterdam public urinals' and look for the results with photos. Ingenious design or tool for public humiliation?" -- TinFins

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Toilet Tunes
"My worst was New York (http://www.independenttraveler.com/community/community_new.cfm?ID=1)'s Penn Station. I had always thought it was a bad bathroom experience and swore to never use it again under any circumstances, but when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. So, before work one day, I ran in there quickly -- well, hoping to run in and out quickly -- but there was a line out the door. I waited for a good five minutes in the worst-smelling bathroom I had ever been in. Then, when I finally reached an open stall, the person next to me was singing at the top of their lungs AND making the entire bathroom smell even worse than it already had. And when I was almost finished, she grabbed my leg under the stall..." -- tinkerbell

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Uh, Nice to Meet You Too...
"I walked into a four-person squat toilet room in Beijing, with no privacy screens or anything between the holes in the floor. I walked in and there was a gentleman squatting on the toilet. He was fine with it, but I was quite embarrassed by the whole thing." -- GregW

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Bring Your Own Paper (and Galoshes)
"On Rarotonga, in the Cook Islands, a lot of public restrooms don't carry toilet paper. That's not such a tragedy, of course, as I usually carry something in my purse when I travel. It was the nasty standing water that I had to wade through to get to the toilet that ruined the experience for me. Yuck. (But at least there was a toilet. I'm shocked by some of the stories I've read here!)" -- travelmel

Crush
10-20-2009, 06:35 PM
http://www.independenttraveler.com/resources/article.cfm?AID=792&category=43


BEST TOILETS: THE CREAM OF THE CRAP

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp A Song and Dance While You Pull Down Your Pants
"This past holiday season here in New York City (http://www.independenttraveler.com/community/community_new.cfm?ID=1) the 'nice folks at Charmin' bathroom tissue opened up a place for tourists to go 'potty.' They rented out a huge building/storefront in Times Square and totally renovated the interior to include about 25 bathroom stalls. Actually, the stalls were more like mini-rooms -- there was a toilet, mirror and personal sink inside. They staffed it, and cleaned each and every mini-bathroom after every single use. Outside you were greeted with folks dressed up as rolls of Charmin toilet tissue -- a few poor souls had to dress up as toilet seats.

"There were long lines, so they entertained us! They broke into song, danced and got their captive audience involved in their antics. On the funny side they sometimes would clap loudly when someone exited the bathroom -- silly stuff. All in all, it was an excellent 'potty experience.'" -- Up4Travel

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp But Can the Neighboring Apartments See You?
"One of the most striking restrooms for views and uniqueness is in Hong Kong at the new tower of the Peninsula Hotel, at the night club on the top floor. There is an attendant in both the ladies' and men's. There is a 5' by 9' sink in the center accessible from all sides with lots of faucets. The attendant is there to help if you need to find the stalls, as they are granite faced and the dividers are so tight they are nearly concealed.

"The urinal stalls are unique. They face floor-to-ceiling windows so that you can look out at neighboring apartments while you pee." -- RestaurantKing

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp All Wet
"I'd have to say the cleanest bathroom I've ever been to was in Toledo, Spain (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=126). It was an automatic toilet that, when you were finished, would lock itself and spray cleaner all over the room. If you don't mind a little wetness, you can be assured it's clean!" -- mellibug

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp "Aria" Gonna Use This Toilet?
"The public restrooms in the Sydney (http://www.independenttraveler.com/community/community_new.cfm?ID=14) Opera House are nearly as beautiful as the building itself. The toilets are standard-issue, but the stall doors are part of an undulating curve of marble-like material, very much in keeping with the bird-like lines of the place. The sinks are simply a long slab of marble slanted toward the wall, with faucets situated over it, draining into a trough and thence into a pipe." -- SheckyGreen

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Subterranean Surprise
"While visiting Paris (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=29) with friends, we had just come out of the Cathedral Madeleine and the only bathroom around was an underground facility that looked like the entrance to a train station in New York. I really had to go, so I bid farewell to the folks with me, fearing the worst as I descended the stairs to the dark unknown. But I was shocked to walk into what reminded me of a restroom in a four-star hotel, with a greeter/cleaner who appeared to like her job. Women on the left ... men on the right. I was so impressed I insisted my friends come down and meet the 'caretaker.'" -- bobgs

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp All Hail the Porcelain Gods
"The best: every clean toilet that was reachable when I've been ill while traveling (http://www.independenttraveler.com/resources/article.cfm?AID=62&category=5). I remember them all with gratitude." -- constanttraveler

WORST TOILETS: "EEW" DE TOILETTE

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Waiter, There's a Fly in My Poop
"I've seen so many awful toilets that it's hard to award a 'worst.' That said, the funniest was on the Turkey-Iraq border at a military post in the mountains. My colleague insisted on asking for a toilet, even though I warned him against it. He was pointed to a shack about 100 yards down the mountain and trotted over. He went in and closed the door, and then we heard a loud scream. He came rushing out, looking terrible, and explained that as he approached the hole in the floor, he noticed a large pile of something on it. Suddenly the pile flew into his face (hence the scream) -- it was a million flies. I nearly wet my pants on the mountainside laughing." -- constanttraveler

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Flush Flood Warning
"In Japan (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=47), my husband and I visited a friend whose toilet seat had multiple buttons for heat and bidet. Of course, it was labeled in Japanese. I was unsure how to flush so I began pushing buttons. I hit the button for the bidet. Lo and behold, water started shooting straight up into the air. The floors and rugs were getting soaked, so I began pushing buttons and the water started flowing harder. Just my luck, our friend had no towels so I used almost a whole roll of toilet paper to clean up the mess. When I came out of the bathroom, my clothes and hair were soaked. Our friend is a big jokester so he really had a good laugh at my expense!" -- cheechee

Any Port-a-Potty in a Storm
"To truly wrestle with a 'squatty-potty' you need to be seven months pregnant and be on a pitching Turkish ferry during a storm. Been there, done that...." -- GrannyJ

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Reading, Writing and ... Restroom Use?
"Do the French still have those large, square, porcelain things in the floors of public restrooms with footrests on either side of a slightly recessed hole? Once perched on the footrests that dictated the spread of your legs, there was peril all around you. You teetered there while twisting and trying to verify you were hitting the hole. What to do with your trousers required the talent of an expert juggler. You had to wad them to the front or rear, depending on your bodily needs; and if it was an outside toilet, as many of them were, and you were wearing a coat of any weight or length, keeping it hoisted and unsoiled at the same time was nearly an impossibility. You were clutching at fabric with your fists, armpits and elbows! I always thought that I was probably going at it all wrong -- and that the French might have instruction on how to do it at lower grade levels." -- esurb

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Hail to the Chief
"I was doing medical service to the indigenous Mayan people in Guatemala (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=169). They had just finished building their new toilet (outhouse) high on stilts. This is a missionary secret ... we take medication to constipate ourselves so we won't have to use the local facilities if it is only for a week. The indigenous cuisine is mostly beans and corn. Diet overrode the medication. I was escorted to be the first one to 'anoint' the throne. It wasn't pretty! When I came out the entire community came out, encircled the new outhouse and gave me a standing ovation." -- atitlan

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp At Least the View Was Palatial...
"The worst toilet I ever experienced was in Lhasa, Tibet (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=24) in a small hotel in the Tibetan quarter. It was a trench in the floor that dropped about 10 feet, seemingly had never been cleaned out and stank to high heaven. The only redeeming quality was that it was truly a 'room with a view' with an incredible view of the Potala Palace out the window!" -- Caitlin's Mom

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Reporting for "Doody"
"My husband is an Army Reservist, and on a recent training trip his unit encountered something I don't think anyone had ever encountered before. Open showers are normal for military accommodations, but they had never seen open toilets before. In one room six toilets were lined up along one wall with only one roll of toilet paper to pass around. Lack of modesty is common in the military, but this was to the extreme." -- gwenb

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Adding Insult to Injury
"My favorite bathroom tale of all time was when my mom and I were traveling in France back in 1978. She had broken her arm in Venice (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=109) and they put her in a Minerva cast, which is a cast that stretches from neck to crotch and immobilizes the arm. We were in one of the public museums when she had to go. She called me in to see the bathroom: two footprints and a hole nowhere near a wall where she could lean. Needless to say she wasn't able to manage this bathroom on her own, so I went in with her and held her pants up off the ground and steadied her while she did her business. We got her clothing straightened out and pulled the chain. A wave of water washed across our feet. We laughed like the idiots I'm sure the people waiting for us thought we were." -- ravenwald13

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Is There a Bulk Discount?
"The worst place to use a toilet is Tijuana, Mexico (http://www.independenttraveler.com/community/community_new.cfm?ID=18). The toilets there are dirty and disgusting. If you want to use toilet paper you have to pay for it. The girl stands in the bathroom and for 50 cents you get one square of toilet paper. For a dollar you get two. I don't know ANY woman who can pee and wipe with two squares of a really lousy, low-grade brand of toilet paper. Certainly, if you have the runs (which is common after eating or drinking in Tijuana), you would require the entire roll. I can't imagine the cost on that one." -- inkling

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp 21st-Century Torture Chamber
"My favorite 'bad potty' experience came at no less than the Museum of Pain and Torture in Florence, when after enjoying an enlightening tour of the horrors one might have encountered living in Medici-era Firenze, I felt the urge and asked to use the facilities. The girl who was selling tickets cheerfully stepped out of her little booth, opened a wee door next to it, and removed several mops, brooms and buckets from what had to have been one of the tiniest broom closet/bathroom combos I have ever seen. The narrow basin sink jutted halfway out into the space, and one could dimly see a cramped toilet beyond. Not seeing how I could squeeze my well-fed, 21st-century American gut past the sink, and afraid I'd get stuck if I somehow managed to make it back to the toilet, I decided I could wait after all." -- SheckyGreen

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Her Royal Heinie-ness
"We lived in Europe (http://www.independenttraveler.com/community/community_new.cfm?ID=4) when I was 10 and 11 (schoolteacher parents), and there were some surprises for these California kids. In London (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=112), they had those little sheets of folded paper that pull out together, one after the other. In those days, all toilet paper was either paper towel or wax paper consistency. The wax paper had to be wadded up and rubbed back and forth before it would absorb ANYTHING. But the thing that confused this 10-year-old was that each sheet was imprinted with the royal crest and said 'Property of Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.' Mother told me that we didn't have to return it to her when we were through, so it was okay." -- helledane

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Feeding Time at the Loo
"A friend of mine visited Pakistan a number of years ago. The toilet was behind the house where he was staying, and it was up on stilts. You had to climb a ladder to get in it. It had a seat with a hole just like a U.S. outhouse, but there was a chute running down to the ground from under the hole. Also, there was a club next to the seat.

"When someone got the runs (quite often with the bad water), they would be sitting on the seat for a long time, and the pigs that lived in the backyard would be waiting for their lunch to come down the chute. With the runs, you don't emit a whole lot, and the pigs would get impatient and run up the chute to bite at your bottom from below the hole. The club was there to stick between your legs and beat back the pigs while you were sitting there suffering." -- monstermash

Goldmember
10-20-2009, 06:36 PM
No, I meant the toilet in work. Although, technically, I think I'm there more than I'm at home. For example, right now. (Basically, when I'm on line, that means I'm in work.)

My apartment is a tiny craphole, with a tiny craphole of a craphole. I almost never use it for #2. Why drive a Yugo when you can go to work and drive a monster truck? :D

my bad, I didn't look at the pic until after my post. Come to think of it, I know a guy that had a very nice apt by the pool and palm trees on top of a high end shopping center in San Jose.

Simply Red
10-20-2009, 06:36 PM
No, I meant the toilet in work. Although, technically, I think I'm there more than I'm at home. For example, right now. (Basically, when I'm on line, that means I'm in work.)

My apartment is a tiny craphole, with a tiny craphole of a craphole. I almost never use it for #2. Why drive a Yugo when you can go to work and drive a monster truck? :D

dude, I can sell you a laptop, wait, you don't have a computer? -or- you DO actually have a life at home?

Simply Red
10-20-2009, 06:38 PM
http://www.independenttraveler.com/resources/article.cfm?AID=792&category=43


BEST TOILETS: THE CREAM OF THE CRAP

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp A Song and Dance While You Pull Down Your Pants
"This past holiday season here in New York City (http://www.independenttraveler.com/community/community_new.cfm?ID=1) the 'nice folks at Charmin' bathroom tissue opened up a place for tourists to go 'potty.' They rented out a huge building/storefront in Times Square and totally renovated the interior to include about 25 bathroom stalls. Actually, the stalls were more like mini-rooms -- there was a toilet, mirror and personal sink inside. They staffed it, and cleaned each and every mini-bathroom after every single use. Outside you were greeted with folks dressed up as rolls of Charmin toilet tissue -- a few poor souls had to dress up as toilet seats.

"There were long lines, so they entertained us! They broke into song, danced and got their captive audience involved in their antics. On the funny side they sometimes would clap loudly when someone exited the bathroom -- silly stuff. All in all, it was an excellent 'potty experience.'" -- Up4Travel

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp But Can the Neighboring Apartments See You?
"One of the most striking restrooms for views and uniqueness is in Hong Kong at the new tower of the Peninsula Hotel, at the night club on the top floor. There is an attendant in both the ladies' and men's. There is a 5' by 9' sink in the center accessible from all sides with lots of faucets. The attendant is there to help if you need to find the stalls, as they are granite faced and the dividers are so tight they are nearly concealed.

"The urinal stalls are unique. They face floor-to-ceiling windows so that you can look out at neighboring apartments while you pee." -- RestaurantKing

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp All Wet
"I'd have to say the cleanest bathroom I've ever been to was in Toledo, Spain (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=126). It was an automatic toilet that, when you were finished, would lock itself and spray cleaner all over the room. If you don't mind a little wetness, you can be assured it's clean!" -- mellibug

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp "Aria" Gonna Use This Toilet?
"The public restrooms in the Sydney (http://www.independenttraveler.com/community/community_new.cfm?ID=14) Opera House are nearly as beautiful as the building itself. The toilets are standard-issue, but the stall doors are part of an undulating curve of marble-like material, very much in keeping with the bird-like lines of the place. The sinks are simply a long slab of marble slanted toward the wall, with faucets situated over it, draining into a trough and thence into a pipe." -- SheckyGreen

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Subterranean Surprise
"While visiting Paris (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=29) with friends, we had just come out of the Cathedral Madeleine and the only bathroom around was an underground facility that looked like the entrance to a train station in New York. I really had to go, so I bid farewell to the folks with me, fearing the worst as I descended the stairs to the dark unknown. But I was shocked to walk into what reminded me of a restroom in a four-star hotel, with a greeter/cleaner who appeared to like her job. Women on the left ... men on the right. I was so impressed I insisted my friends come down and meet the 'caretaker.'" -- bobgs

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp All Hail the Porcelain Gods
"The best: every clean toilet that was reachable when I've been ill while traveling (http://www.independenttraveler.com/resources/article.cfm?AID=62&category=5). I remember them all with gratitude." -- constanttraveler

WORST TOILETS: "EEW" DE TOILETTE

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Waiter, There's a Fly in My Poop
"I've seen so many awful toilets that it's hard to award a 'worst.' That said, the funniest was on the Turkey-Iraq border at a military post in the mountains. My colleague insisted on asking for a toilet, even though I warned him against it. He was pointed to a shack about 100 yards down the mountain and trotted over. He went in and closed the door, and then we heard a loud scream. He came rushing out, looking terrible, and explained that as he approached the hole in the floor, he noticed a large pile of something on it. Suddenly the pile flew into his face (hence the scream) -- it was a million flies. I nearly wet my pants on the mountainside laughing." -- constanttraveler

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Flush Flood Warning
"In Japan (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=47), my husband and I visited a friend whose toilet seat had multiple buttons for heat and bidet. Of course, it was labeled in Japanese. I was unsure how to flush so I began pushing buttons. I hit the button for the bidet. Lo and behold, water started shooting straight up into the air. The floors and rugs were getting soaked, so I began pushing buttons and the water started flowing harder. Just my luck, our friend had no towels so I used almost a whole roll of toilet paper to clean up the mess. When I came out of the bathroom, my clothes and hair were soaked. Our friend is a big jokester so he really had a good laugh at my expense!" -- cheechee

Any Port-a-Potty in a Storm
"To truly wrestle with a 'squatty-potty' you need to be seven months pregnant and be on a pitching Turkish ferry during a storm. Been there, done that...." -- GrannyJ

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Reading, Writing and ... Restroom Use?
"Do the French still have those large, square, porcelain things in the floors of public restrooms with footrests on either side of a slightly recessed hole? Once perched on the footrests that dictated the spread of your legs, there was peril all around you. You teetered there while twisting and trying to verify you were hitting the hole. What to do with your trousers required the talent of an expert juggler. You had to wad them to the front or rear, depending on your bodily needs; and if it was an outside toilet, as many of them were, and you were wearing a coat of any weight or length, keeping it hoisted and unsoiled at the same time was nearly an impossibility. You were clutching at fabric with your fists, armpits and elbows! I always thought that I was probably going at it all wrong -- and that the French might have instruction on how to do it at lower grade levels." -- esurb

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Hail to the Chief
"I was doing medical service to the indigenous Mayan people in Guatemala (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=169). They had just finished building their new toilet (outhouse) high on stilts. This is a missionary secret ... we take medication to constipate ourselves so we won't have to use the local facilities if it is only for a week. The indigenous cuisine is mostly beans and corn. Diet overrode the medication. I was escorted to be the first one to 'anoint' the throne. It wasn't pretty! When I came out the entire community came out, encircled the new outhouse and gave me a standing ovation." -- atitlan

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp At Least the View Was Palatial...
"The worst toilet I ever experienced was in Lhasa, Tibet (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=24) in a small hotel in the Tibetan quarter. It was a trench in the floor that dropped about 10 feet, seemingly had never been cleaned out and stank to high heaven. The only redeeming quality was that it was truly a 'room with a view' with an incredible view of the Potala Palace out the window!" -- Caitlin's Mom

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Reporting for "Doody"
"My husband is an Army Reservist, and on a recent training trip his unit encountered something I don't think anyone had ever encountered before. Open showers are normal for military accommodations, but they had never seen open toilets before. In one room six toilets were lined up along one wall with only one roll of toilet paper to pass around. Lack of modesty is common in the military, but this was to the extreme." -- gwenb

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Adding Insult to Injury
"My favorite bathroom tale of all time was when my mom and I were traveling in France back in 1978. She had broken her arm in Venice (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=109) and they put her in a Minerva cast, which is a cast that stretches from neck to crotch and immobilizes the arm. We were in one of the public museums when she had to go. She called me in to see the bathroom: two footprints and a hole nowhere near a wall where she could lean. Needless to say she wasn't able to manage this bathroom on her own, so I went in with her and held her pants up off the ground and steadied her while she did her business. We got her clothing straightened out and pulled the chain. A wave of water washed across our feet. We laughed like the idiots I'm sure the people waiting for us thought we were." -- ravenwald13

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Is There a Bulk Discount?
"The worst place to use a toilet is Tijuana, Mexico (http://www.independenttraveler.com/community/community_new.cfm?ID=18). The toilets there are dirty and disgusting. If you want to use toilet paper you have to pay for it. The girl stands in the bathroom and for 50 cents you get one square of toilet paper. For a dollar you get two. I don't know ANY woman who can pee and wipe with two squares of a really lousy, low-grade brand of toilet paper. Certainly, if you have the runs (which is common after eating or drinking in Tijuana), you would require the entire roll. I can't imagine the cost on that one." -- inkling

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp 21st-Century Torture Chamber
"My favorite 'bad potty' experience came at no less than the Museum of Pain and Torture in Florence, when after enjoying an enlightening tour of the horrors one might have encountered living in Medici-era Firenze, I felt the urge and asked to use the facilities. The girl who was selling tickets cheerfully stepped out of her little booth, opened a wee door next to it, and removed several mops, brooms and buckets from what had to have been one of the tiniest broom closet/bathroom combos I have ever seen. The narrow basin sink jutted halfway out into the space, and one could dimly see a cramped toilet beyond. Not seeing how I could squeeze my well-fed, 21st-century American gut past the sink, and afraid I'd get stuck if I somehow managed to make it back to the toilet, I decided I could wait after all." -- SheckyGreen

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Her Royal Heinie-ness
"We lived in Europe (http://www.independenttraveler.com/community/community_new.cfm?ID=4) when I was 10 and 11 (schoolteacher parents), and there were some surprises for these California kids. In London (http://boards.independenttraveler.com/forumdisplay.php?f=112), they had those little sheets of folded paper that pull out together, one after the other. In those days, all toilet paper was either paper towel or wax paper consistency. The wax paper had to be wadded up and rubbed back and forth before it would absorb ANYTHING. But the thing that confused this 10-year-old was that each sheet was imprinted with the royal crest and said 'Property of Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.' Mother told me that we didn't have to return it to her when we were through, so it was okay." -- helledane

http://www.cruisecritic.com/images/star2.bmp Feeding Time at the Loo
"A friend of mine visited Pakistan a number of years ago. The toilet was behind the house where he was staying, and it was up on stilts. You had to climb a ladder to get in it. It had a seat with a hole just like a U.S. outhouse, but there was a chute running down to the ground from under the hole. Also, there was a club next to the seat.

"When someone got the runs (quite often with the bad water), they would be sitting on the seat for a long time, and the pigs that lived in the backyard would be waiting for their lunch to come down the chute. With the runs, you don't emit a whole lot, and the pigs would get impatient and run up the chute to bite at your bottom from below the hole. The club was there to stick between your legs and beat back the pigs while you were sitting there suffering." -- monstermash


That picture of that toilet about 1,024 characters down, is god-damned pretty.

JD10367
10-20-2009, 06:38 PM
dude, I can sell you a laptop, wait, you don't have a computer? -or- you DO actually have a life at home?

I have a computer at home, but I only use it for stuff like playing games on Pogo. And porn. :D

My job is basically to sit around for most of the day. So I do my board posting, Facebook posting, etc.,., while I'm in work. It's pretty sweet.

Simply Red
10-20-2009, 06:40 PM
I have a computer at home, but I only use it for stuff like playing games on Pogo. And porn. :D

My job is basically to sit around for most of the day. So I do my board posting, Facebook posting, etc.,., while I'm in work. It's pretty sweet.

do you know of any good streaming adult websites?

C-Mac
10-20-2009, 06:41 PM
we need proof....
Posted via Mobile Device

Ladies and gentleman, behold.............



http://kcchiefsgames.com/DSC00084.JPG

Been waiting for a good time to share this beauty, guess this is as good a time as any.:D

'Hamas' Jenkins
10-20-2009, 06:42 PM
I generally have really creamy-gooey shits that tend to pile on top of one another. If the toilet has a low water line, I'll have have shits that end up above it. God, nothing is worse than a greasy shit exposed to open air.

Count Zarth
10-20-2009, 06:44 PM
I generally have really creamy-gooey shits that tend to pile on top of one another. If the toilet has a low water line, I'll have have shits that end up above it. God, nothing is worse than a greasy shit exposed to open air.

I usually have one really hard, spheroid, knobbly shit followed by a Burmese python shit. The first five minutes are painful, followed by soothing relaxation.

JD10367
10-20-2009, 06:44 PM
do you know of any good streaming adult websites?

Nah, when I'm home I just go to either pornhub or youporn. I used to use the Huns. I'm old, it doesn't take me too much porn-surfing, LOL.

JD10367
10-20-2009, 06:45 PM
Ladies and gentleman, behold.............

Been waiting for a good time to share this beauty, guess this is as good a time as any.:D

Dude, that is SO unimpressive. Nice length, but no girth at all. Mine usually look like sub sandwiches.

Simply Red
10-20-2009, 06:46 PM
Nah, when I'm home I just go to either pornhub or youporn. I used to use the Huns. I'm old, it doesn't take me too much porn-surfing, LOL.

If I might ask, what is it that you do for work?

Simply Red
10-20-2009, 06:48 PM
Dude, that is SO unimpressive. Nice length, but no girth at all. Mine usually look like sub sandwiches.

from a shear 'full of shit' standpoint, length is very important. It's moderately impressive, I mean, I've seen better, too, I've had better, but that's not terrible.

Simply Red
10-20-2009, 06:49 PM
jesus, I'm bored.

JD10367
10-20-2009, 07:33 PM
If I might ask, what is it that you do for work?

I work in the projection booth in the IMAX theater. If you look closely at the pic I uploaded, you can actually read the work "IMAX" next to the circle I indicated. That whole square on top of the mall is the theater, or at least the top half of it (screen's 60'x89', holds over 400 people). Once the film starts, my job is to watch the film and make sure nothing goes wrong. Means lots of time to post, and drink coffee...

RJ
10-20-2009, 07:35 PM
Fiber is your friend.

Pioli Zombie
10-20-2009, 07:42 PM
A toilet would impress me if it could flush a chunk of shit like Mark Sanchez's quarterbacking.
Posted via Mobile Device

JD10367
10-20-2009, 07:45 PM
A toilet would impress me if it could flush a chunk of shit like Mark Sanchez's quarterbacking.
Posted via Mobile Device

http://www.instablogsimages.com/images/2007/08/03/toilet1_54.jpg

KCUnited
10-20-2009, 07:50 PM
I tried this earlier this month, worked.

http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/6290/acaiberry.jpg (http://img94.imageshack.us/i/acaiberry.jpg/)

Simply Red
10-20-2009, 07:53 PM
I tried this earlier this month, worked.

http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/6290/acaiberry.jpg (http://img94.imageshack.us/i/acaiberry.jpg/)

can you do it regularly?

KCUnited
10-20-2009, 07:55 PM
Once you've cleansed you're supposed to wait something like 6 weeks before you do it again.

Pioli Zombie
10-20-2009, 07:59 PM
When I want to clean out my colon I eat at Noodles and Company.
Posted via Mobile Device

Jerm
10-20-2009, 08:02 PM
*waiting for the George Brett video*

This thread is just begging for it lol.
Posted via Mobile Device

TIED5573
10-20-2009, 08:08 PM
Certainly does for me here in work. I swear, the thing's got about an 80-dB flush. I've never seen a toilet with this much suckitude. I love it. Being a big guy, usually I've got to be pretty careful... you know, squeeze out a nice little ladylike loaf if I'm using a small home toilet. With this thing, I can hold it for a couple of days and grunt up a storm until there's a flagpole saluting me from the john. I can leave something in there that would make the Electric Boat Co. down in CT think they lost a nuclear sub. Doesn't matter. Flush, gurgle, wham, it's gone. Let me tell you, until you have the ability to take monster dumps without any consequence, you don't realize what a luxury it is...

Semper Fi! Carry on, sir!

Ari Chi3fs
10-20-2009, 08:21 PM
Simply Red... must of given up on the "niners" and settled for a dude with a "niner"... now he can shit good again. Roto Rooter action, eh, Ryan? NTTIAWWT :thailor:

Hoover
10-20-2009, 08:25 PM
Some people don't flush so they can share their work with the rest of the world...

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PrefF2ihEmo&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PrefF2ihEmo&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

Pink Paradise 2010
10-20-2009, 10:16 PM
ha, nice thread.... verrrryyyyy funnnnyyyyy... LMAO