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View Full Version : Funny Stuff Next time you get pulled over... Do this.


Silock
10-21-2009, 11:41 PM
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=2055684400

I don't get to see my girflriend too much because I work so many hours a week that it's almost impossible. That, mixed with her schedule, doesn't make for much time to see her. When I do find time to see her, I fly from work to her house going 90 in a 55 MPH zone.

That being said, Monday I was speeding to her house from work. I was on a local highway and about 5 minutes from her house when the blue lights blinded my eyes from my rear-view mirror. Damn, I've just been pulled over.

The officer walked up to my car, asked how I was doing, then the usual "license and registration, please". Nothing out of the ordinary.

I carry a gun for my profession and still had it strapped to my side, so I showed him my work ID and gun permit BEFORE whipping out the gun and saying:

"Here's my gun! I'm allowed to carry one!"

Phew, won't do that one again.

After looking over the permit, he eyeballed my crotch.

"I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car, sir. Keep your hands where I can see them."

Either he's a gay cop, or he has a problem with the gun.

I was asked to put my hands on the roof of the car. He pulled my 357 out of its holder.

"I'm going to hold onto this while I run your license, if you don't mind. You can step back into the car."

I got in and shut my door.

"So, Mr. Justin, why were you driving so fast?"

At this moment, my bull**** dispenser started cranking. I could afford another ticket, but would rather not deal with an increased insurance rate. I started spitting a line of total BS.

"Well sir, my job doesn't allow me to see my fiance very much. Since this is the first time in forever that I'm going to see her, I'm rushing to her house to pop the question. I apologize for speeding, I'm just so excited to see the look on her face when I ask her to marry me."

"Do you have a ring?"

"No sir, can't afford one."

"Ah, poor kid."

"I know. Could you do me a favor and write me a ticket? I'd like to look back on this night and laugh about the time I was pulled over and given a ticket the night I was rushing to propose to my wife."

The reason I asked him this is to make my story seem to check out. I'm calling his bluff, if you will.

"Haha, you kids. I'll tell you what-- I'll do you one better. I'll escort you over there through traffic if you're in that much of a rush. Wouldn't that be more of a story?"

Damnit. The guy's caught up in making a Kodak moment when all I want to do is get him off my back and eat tacos with my girlfriend... NOT propose. I've only known the girl for two months-- not exactly ready for the big commitment yet.

"Yes sir, I do believe it would."

After giving him her street name and address, he knew exactly where to go. ****. I got in my car and followed him as his siren rang out. Traffic pulled to the side, peopled yielded at red lights, and cars stopped-- all so I could have tacos with my girlfriend.

After getting to her house, the officer stepped out of his car and knocked on her door. She opened it and stared at him, then me in a look of confusion.

"Hi, I pulled this gentleman over a few minutes ago because he was in a rush to get over here so fast. Justin? Would you like to take it from here?"

I looked at Courtney, then the officer, who wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I tried to take her inside, but the officer stood right there in the doorway to witness the event. The things I'd do to get out of a ticket.

"Courtney... I know I've only known you a short time. But, in that short time <insert romantic bull****>... Will you marry me?"

She wouldn't say yes. She's younger than I am and always talked about how she wanted to date a guy forever until making a commitment.

''YES JUSTIN! I WILL MARRY YOU!"

The officer smiled and clapped as Courtney clamped her arms around my body. The neighbors, who had been wondering why a cop car with its lights on was outside her house cheered.

Courtney's parents called me and told me that they were proud that their daughter found such a nice guy.

Me? Well I got out of a ticket.

**** you. I'm engaged.

-Sideburns

KCrockaholic
10-21-2009, 11:46 PM
Haha!! That F'n awesome.

big nasty kcnut
10-22-2009, 12:09 AM
Damn that messed up. take the ticket.

88TG88
10-22-2009, 12:12 AM
That marriage is sure to last.

Psyko Tek
10-22-2009, 12:34 AM
duuuude:shake:

nice story

macdawg
10-22-2009, 12:47 AM
is this for real? sounds like something out of a movie but I freaking love it, LMAO

MoreLemonPledge
10-22-2009, 12:49 AM
http://i559.photobucket.com/albums/ss33/turtlesoup9/CoolstoryBrah.jpg

Ecto-I
10-22-2009, 12:50 AM
ROFL Best. Story. Ever!

Fritz88
10-22-2009, 04:14 AM
ROFL

Chiefs=Good
10-22-2009, 05:12 AM
ROFL

bevischief
10-22-2009, 05:20 AM
ROFL

PhillyChiefFan
10-22-2009, 05:25 AM
ROFL Nice.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=2055684400

Well sir, my job doesn't allow me to see my fiance very much.



If she was already his fiance, wouldn't the deed already be done?

Stinger
10-22-2009, 05:53 AM
More importantly did he get his gun back, I have a feeling he is going to be needing it a little later.

Sofa King
10-22-2009, 07:22 AM
why did you reccommend we do thatnext time we get pulled over???? that's a little cruel...



that being said. congrats! ROFL

BY1401
10-22-2009, 07:25 AM
I thought that the cop was going to turn out to be her dad.

Boy, was I ever wrong.

burt
10-22-2009, 07:27 AM
Did you get laid, tho?????

JohninGpt
10-22-2009, 07:29 AM
Damn that messed up. take the ticket.

No kidding, a ticket is a one time fine, marriage is a life sentence.

crazycoffey
10-22-2009, 07:36 AM
Did you get to eat your tacos?

ROYC75
10-22-2009, 07:54 AM
Life sentence !

Book him Dan O !

Crashride
10-22-2009, 08:02 AM
This is fucking hilarious.

Chief Chief
10-22-2009, 08:09 AM
After her verbal affirmation to your question, you then should have sealed the deal by letting her finger your gun while you ate her taco.

KcFanInGA
10-22-2009, 08:19 AM
Ha..Hahaha! Nice! If the marriage works out (and I hope it does)....best...story...ever.

Fish
10-22-2009, 08:37 AM
What kind of cop would actually believe that?

chasedude
10-22-2009, 08:39 AM
poor guy, such a horrible story. should've taken the ticket

Iowanian
10-22-2009, 08:55 AM
He thought the insurance was going to be expensive?


Shit, wait until the alimony and child support go on his record.

HemiEd
10-22-2009, 09:00 AM
Congrats, nice story. Has anyone mentioned that the ticket would have been cheaper? ROFL

KCUnited
10-22-2009, 09:02 AM
Suicide by cop.

Pestilence
10-22-2009, 09:05 AM
ROFL Nice.



If she was already his fiance, wouldn't the deed already be done?

He's explaining how she BECAME his fiance.

mikeyis4dcats.
10-22-2009, 09:29 AM
I can't believe ANY of you believe that story is true.

kaplin42
10-22-2009, 09:50 AM
What kind of cop would actually believe that?


I doubt the cop believed him. More like the cop with F'ing with the dude, and was having a little fun. How many lame excuses do you think a cop has to go through every night, and how fun for a cop be just to get a little pay back on the pretense of helping someone out.

Fat Elvis
10-22-2009, 09:53 AM
When I was younger, I had a friend who was going to go buy a new bong; his mom asks him where he was going, and he tells her that he was going to buy his girlfriend an engagement ring. His mom thought that was sweet and invited herself to go along with him to help pick one out. He wound up paying $3K (1986 dollars) for that rock because he couldn't think of a better excuse to explain going bong shopping in KC.

Iowanian
10-22-2009, 10:01 AM
I usually just squirm alot, fart if I can and tell them I've got screaming diarhea.


I've not had one go into the next shitter with me yet, and I'm 3-0 with the excuse.

Every person that drives as much as a cop surely can have sympathy for that.

JD10367
10-22-2009, 10:05 AM
That story sounds a lot better than "I blew the cop to get out of the ticket". :D

58kcfan89
10-22-2009, 10:19 AM
I usually just squirm alot, fart if I can and tell them I've got screaming diarhea.


I've not had one go into the next shitter with me yet, and I'm 3-0 with the excuse.

Every person that drives as much as a cop surely can have sympathy for that.

ROFLLMAO

Why didn't the guy just call his girlfriend while he was driving & give her an idea of what was going on?

blazzin311
10-22-2009, 10:39 AM
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=2055684400

I don't get to see my girflriend too much because I work so many hours a week that it's almost impossible. That, mixed with her schedule, doesn't make for much time to see her. When I do find time to see her, I fly from work to her house going 90 in a 55 MPH zone.

That being said, Monday I was speeding to her house from work. I was on a local highway and about 5 minutes from her house when the blue lights blinded my eyes from my rear-view mirror. Damn, I've just been pulled over.

The officer walked up to my car, asked how I was doing, then the usual "license and registration, please". Nothing out of the ordinary.

I carry a gun for my profession and still had it strapped to my side, so I showed him my work ID and gun permit BEFORE whipping out the gun and saying:

"Here's my gun! I'm allowed to carry one!"

Phew, won't do that one again.

After looking over the permit, he eyeballed my crotch.

"I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car, sir. Keep your hands where I can see them."

Either he's a gay cop, or he has a problem with the gun.

I was asked to put my hands on the roof of the car. He pulled my 357 out of its holder.

"I'm going to hold onto this while I run your license, if you don't mind. You can step back into the car."

I got in and shut my door.

"So, Mr. Justin, why were you driving so fast?"

At this moment, my bull**** dispenser started cranking. I could afford another ticket, but would rather not deal with an increased insurance rate. I started spitting a line of total BS.

"Well sir, my job doesn't allow me to see my fiance very much. Since this is the first time in forever that I'm going to see her, I'm rushing to her house to pop the question. I apologize for speeding, I'm just so excited to see the look on her face when I ask her to marry me."

"Do you have a ring?"

"No sir, can't afford one."

"Ah, poor kid."

"I know. Could you do me a favor and write me a ticket? I'd like to look back on this night and laugh about the time I was pulled over and given a ticket the night I was rushing to propose to my wife."

The reason I asked him this is to make my story seem to check out. I'm calling his bluff, if you will.

"Haha, you kids. I'll tell you what-- I'll do you one better. I'll escort you over there through traffic if you're in that much of a rush. Wouldn't that be more of a story?"

Damnit. The guy's caught up in making a Kodak moment when all I want to do is get him off my back and eat tacos with my girlfriend... NOT propose. I've only known the girl for two months-- not exactly ready for the big commitment yet.

"Yes sir, I do believe it would."

After giving him her street name and address, he knew exactly where to go. ****. I got in my car and followed him as his siren rang out. Traffic pulled to the side, peopled yielded at red lights, and cars stopped-- all so I could have tacos with my girlfriend.

After getting to her house, the officer stepped out of his car and knocked on her door. She opened it and stared at him, then me in a look of confusion.

"Hi, I pulled this gentleman over a few minutes ago because he was in a rush to get over here so fast. Justin? Would you like to take it from here?"

I looked at Courtney, then the officer, who wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I tried to take her inside, but the officer stood right there in the doorway to witness the event. The things I'd do to get out of a ticket.

"Courtney... I know I've only known you a short time. But, in that short time <insert romantic bull****>... Will you marry me?"

She wouldn't say yes. She's younger than I am and always talked about how she wanted to date a guy forever until making a commitment.

''YES JUSTIN! I WILL MARRY YOU!"

The officer smiled and clapped as Courtney clamped her arms around my body. The neighbors, who had been wondering why a cop car with its lights on was outside her house cheered.

Courtney's parents called me and told me that they were proud that their daughter found such a nice guy.

Me? Well I got out of a ticket.

**** you. I'm engaged.

-Sideburns

ROFLROFLROFL
That's fricken hilarious. That being said I hope you learned something from this whole experience.

88TG88
10-22-2009, 10:52 AM
I can't believe ANY of you believe that story is true.

ITs obviously fake, but its still funny to laugh at someones misery.

AndChiefs
10-22-2009, 11:05 AM
ROFLLMAO

Why didn't the guy just call his girlfriend while he was driving & give her an idea of what was going on?

That's what I was thinking.

mikeyis4dcats.
10-22-2009, 11:06 AM
ITs obviously fake, but its still funny to laugh at someones misery.

it is a funny STORY....I just can't believe so many here seem to buy it.

Demonpenz
10-22-2009, 11:12 AM
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=2055684400

I don't get to see my girflriend too much because I work so many hours a week that it's almost impossible. That, mixed with her schedule, doesn't make for much time to see her. When I do find time to see her, I fly from work to her house going 90 in a 55 MPH zone.

That being said, Monday I was speeding to her house from work. I was on a local highway and about 5 minutes from her house when the blue lights blinded my eyes from my rear-view mirror. Damn, I've just been pulled over.

The officer walked up to my car, asked how I was doing, then the usual "license and registration, please". Nothing out of the ordinary.

I carry a gun for my profession and still had it strapped to my side, so I showed him my work ID and gun permit BEFORE whipping out the gun and saying:

"Here's my gun! I'm allowed to carry one!"

Phew, won't do that one again.

After looking over the permit, he eyeballed my crotch.

"I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car, sir. Keep your hands where I can see them."

Either he's a gay cop, or he has a problem with the gun.

I was asked to put my hands on the roof of the car. He pulled my 357 out of its holder.

"I'm going to hold onto this while I run your license, if you don't mind. You can step back into the car."

I got in and shut my door.

"So, Mr. Justin, why were you driving so fast?"

At this moment, my bull**** dispenser started cranking. I could afford another ticket, but would rather not deal with an increased insurance rate. I started spitting a line of total BS.

"Well sir, my job doesn't allow me to see my fiance very much. Since this is the first time in forever that I'm going to see her, I'm rushing to her house to pop the question. I apologize for speeding, I'm just so excited to see the look on her face when I ask her to marry me."

"Do you have a ring?"

"No sir, can't afford one."

"Ah, poor kid."

"I know. Could you do me a favor and write me a ticket? I'd like to look back on this night and laugh about the time I was pulled over and given a ticket the night I was rushing to propose to my wife."

The reason I asked him this is to make my story seem to check out. I'm calling his bluff, if you will.

"Haha, you kids. I'll tell you what-- I'll do you one better. I'll escort you over there through traffic if you're in that much of a rush. Wouldn't that be more of a story?"

Damnit. The guy's caught up in making a Kodak moment when all I want to do is get him off my back and eat tacos with my girlfriend... NOT propose. I've only known the girl for two months-- not exactly ready for the big commitment yet.

"Yes sir, I do believe it would."

After giving him her street name and address, he knew exactly where to go. ****. I got in my car and followed him as his siren rang out. Traffic pulled to the side, peopled yielded at red lights, and cars stopped-- all so I could have tacos with my girlfriend.

After getting to her house, the officer stepped out of his car and knocked on her door. She opened it and stared at him, then me in a look of confusion.

"Hi, I pulled this gentleman over a few minutes ago because he was in a rush to get over here so fast. Justin? Would you like to take it from here?"

I looked at Courtney, then the officer, who wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I tried to take her inside, but the officer stood right there in the doorway to witness the event. The things I'd do to get out of a ticket.

"Courtney... I know I've only known you a short time. But, in that short time <insert romantic bull****>... Will you marry me?"

She wouldn't say yes. She's younger than I am and always talked about how she wanted to date a guy forever until making a commitment.

''YES JUSTIN! I WILL MARRY YOU!"

The officer smiled and clapped as Courtney clamped her arms around my body. The neighbors, who had been wondering why a cop car with its lights on was outside her house cheered.

Courtney's parents called me and told me that they were proud that their daughter found such a nice guy.

Me? Well I got out of a ticket.

**** you. I'm engaged.

-Sideburns

LMAO

mikeyis4dcats.
10-22-2009, 11:13 AM
LMAO

He should have gotten an escort from Airwolf. Dom is a panty dropper fo sho.

Demonpenz
10-22-2009, 11:14 AM
LMAO

SDChiefs
10-22-2009, 11:25 AM
Better hope that your Fiance doesn't read this or it will be a short honeymoon.

LaChapelle
10-22-2009, 11:29 AM
He was looking at your crotch.

Pink Paradise 2010
10-22-2009, 01:53 PM
ha, lol, thats why you dont lie to cops...lol.... if you dont wanna ticket be honest... ha ha ha ha cant stop LMAO atleast you have a honeymoon. better hope that she does not read your posts if she is on here or not... you can if your a member or not....lol

Silock
10-22-2009, 06:56 PM
It wasn't me, but thanks, I guess?