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NewChief
10-22-2009, 07:21 PM
Pinnochio: Vampire Slayer

It's so awesome it's killing me:
http://www.fangoria.com/features/comic-screams/55-blood-soaked-pullbox/4211-pinocchio-vampire-slayer-graphic-novel-review.html


PINOCCHIO: VAMPIRE SLAYER (Graphic Novel Review)
Thursday, October 08, 2009 04:18 AM Mike Fish Blood-soaked Pullbox
pinocchio1aDonít you just want to kill all these freakin vampires on your TV these days? Thereís so many of them, annoying you like a bad clip of THE VIEW on THE SOUP, you just gotta throw down with one! Whether it be the TWILIGHT drama class, the not-so intimate THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, or just reruns of ANGEL and BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER... wait... did I just say ďVampire SlayerĒ? Yes, thatís what we need, but... Buffy is busy getting a suntan in the Bahamas, Van Helsing is long retired after Hugh Jackmanís busted portrayal, and Blade is trying to find a way to pay his taxes. Whoís left to kick some fang-banger ass? Let me tell you a little story about a boy, a lie, and his wooden nose.

PINOCCHIO: VAMPIRE SLAYER Ė Graphic Novel | SLG Publishing | Written by Van Jensen | Drawn by Dusty Higgins

To think, the perfect vampire slayer would be that of a famous story about a wooden puppet who wanted to be a real boy. Why though? Why be a real boy? Life sucks, and youíre handcrafted to kill vampires, ya dimwit! All he has to do is say, ďIím Batman.Ē BAM! Wooden nose grows into a splintery stake, and SLAM! Right into the black, beating heart of a blood-sucking corpse. And thatís about what PINOCCHIO: VAMPIRE SLAYER is, and with some good old-fashioned humor to it as well. One could argue itís a cross between BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER and Disneyís version of PINOCCHIO, edgy and full of attitude, but still traditional in the time period and character study. But it doesnít get too cute, as Pinocchio kills vamps good, and takes every humorous chance he gets in killing poor little Jiminy Cricket. To sum up the idea in a nutshell, I would say itís fun to look at, but cool to read. Intriguing idea, yes indeed.

pinocchio1aPINOCCHIO: VAMPIRE SLAYER does have its flaws, but somewhat minor altogether. The black and white art from Dusty Higgins can only move it so far from the Sunday funnies page and yet, so distant from being a visual classic as it should be. The art is fun at times, watching Pinocchio go toe to toe with vampires, but other times withdraws any depth or prominence with the storytelling; especially when the panel calls for some drama, itís hard to really feel it. On top of that, itís overshadowed by a hilarious retelling of the original Pinocchio story using small, almost stick-figure characters and fourth wall breakers that could make you choke on your potato chips if youíre not careful. For something funny like that to be more memorable than the actual meat of the book is a little hard to dismiss. Lastly, the use of color would probably of help this book more in not only a richer experience for the reader, but could also have made it easier for animators to see this as a possible cartoon on Adult Swim or something. Granted, some will love the CALVIN AND HOBBES feel of the book, others like me want a little more from such a fun and inventive idea.

However, Van Jensen writes with nice pacing and explosive wit that itís hard not to like the book so much. Pinocchioís attitude and quick retorts make him more of a Spider-man/Buffy hybrid than such a whiney and helpless character weíve all experienced as kids. Itís good to see the opposite effect work so well with a character like this, and Van Jensen makes it look like it was easier than a peanut butter and jelly jam sandwich. So if youíre heading on a road trip, have some time to kill in a coffee shop, or just commuting on a train or bus, take this book with you. Not only will the time fly by fast, but youíll also be smiling at the time of your destination. Just remember, if you decide to become a vampire one day, you might hear a little guy in a cape with a big wooden nose come leaping out of the sky screaming, ďIím a real boy!Ē

Rausch
10-22-2009, 07:23 PM
Fucking love it.

Best idea since the Flaming Carrot!

NewChief
10-22-2009, 07:29 PM
****ing love it.

Best idea since the Flaming Carrot!

Can you imagine the dialogue in the fight scenes as the puppet spouts off one lie after the next as a sort of finishing move for each vampire? From a writer's perspective, it's freaking brilliant. The opportunities are endless.

Rausch
10-22-2009, 07:31 PM
Can you imagine the dialogue in the fight scenes as the puppet spouts off one lie after the next as a sort of finishing move for each vampire? From a writer's perspective, it's freaking brilliant. The opportunities are endless.

Does Pinnochio get morning wood?

JD10367
10-22-2009, 07:34 PM
Old joke time.

Did you hear Snow White got thrown out of Disneyland?

They caught her on Pinocchio's face, moaning, "Lie to me... tell me the truth... lie to me... tell me the truth..."