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View Full Version : Food and Drink How do you cook a turkey?


googlegoogle
11-20-2009, 03:36 PM
Whats the best ways to cook one so it's tender and juicy instead of dry?

Stewie
11-20-2009, 03:38 PM
If you're a rookie at cooking turkeys, buy a Reynold's turkey bag and follow the directions.

DaFace
11-20-2009, 03:38 PM
Fried.

penguinz
11-20-2009, 03:38 PM
Deep fry it. Smoke it. Bake it. You can keep it moist in any method of cooking as long as you do it properly.

DMAC
11-20-2009, 03:38 PM
Fry it.

end of thread.

Stewie
11-20-2009, 03:39 PM
Fried.

AKA the $100 turkey. :)

Toadkiller
11-20-2009, 03:40 PM
Always brine it then smoke it, turns out fantastic.

wild1
11-20-2009, 03:40 PM
I hear frying it while still frozen is the best way to keep it from getting dry.

OnTheWarpath58
11-20-2009, 03:40 PM
First, make sure it's frozen.

Then drop it into a hot deep fryer.

Make sure to keep your head over the fryer to make sure the whole bird is submerged.*

kthxbye.




*Don't do this, dipshit.

Stewie
11-20-2009, 03:41 PM
Always brine it then smoke it, turns out fantastic.

Brine a fresh turkey only.

DMAC
11-20-2009, 03:41 PM
I hear frying it while still frozen is the best way to keep it from getting dry.ROFL

kstater
11-20-2009, 03:42 PM
I hear frying it while still frozen is the best way to keep it from getting dry.

First, make sure it's frozen.

Then drop it into a hot deep fryer.

Make sure to keep your head over the fryer to make sure the whole bird is submerged.

kthxbye.

Careful, googlegoogle is actually dumb enough to do that and might sue you.

Donger
11-20-2009, 03:42 PM
Applying heat to it seems to work best.

ClevelandBronco
11-20-2009, 03:44 PM
I hear frying it while still frozen is the best way to keep it from getting dry.

And you will be known forever as that homeless guy, Extra Crispy.

raybec 4
11-20-2009, 03:45 PM
Careful, googlegoogle is actually dumb enough to do that and might sue you.

No way he lives through that to sue.

Donger
11-20-2009, 03:48 PM
Just in case:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/U2xUUiwjwc0&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/U2xUUiwjwc0&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Simply Red
11-20-2009, 03:49 PM
coat in in a healthier margerine, like an olive-oil based trans-fat free product, and you bake breasts's's'ses side down (always!)

but yeah, i'd fry, if you can.

blaise
11-20-2009, 03:49 PM
I soak a cheesecloth in white wine and melted butter overnight and then cover the turkey with it. I start on a high heat for an hour, then reduce it and baste the turkey regularly. Then use a good thermometer to know when it's done.

Donger
11-20-2009, 03:50 PM
I soak a cheesecloth in white wine and melted butter overnight and then cover the turkey with it. I start on a high heat for an hour, then reduce it and baste the turkey regularly. Then use a good thermometer to know when it's done.

Rectal?

Stewie
11-20-2009, 03:55 PM
Just in case:

<object height="344" width="425">


<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/U2xUUiwjwc0&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425">[/URL]</object>

Butterball and Masterbuilt just came out with a deep fryer for indoor use that's UL approved.

[url]http://www.amazon.com/Masterbuilt-20010109-Butterball-Professional-Electric/dp/B002JM1ZMY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1258754261&sr=8-1 (http://www.youtube.com/v/U2xUUiwjwc0&hl=en_US&fs=1&)

Mr. Kansasski
11-20-2009, 04:05 PM
Take to local BBQ joint of your choosing and trade for some smoked racks of ribs.

Donger
11-20-2009, 04:09 PM
Butterball and Masterbuilt just came out with a deep fryer for indoor use that's UL approved.

http://www.amazon.com/Masterbuilt-20010109-Butterball-Professional-Electric/dp/B002JM1ZMY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1258754261&sr=8-1

Did they manage to figure out some way of removing the danger of people who've never heard of Archimedes?

Simply Red
11-20-2009, 04:15 PM
also, it's fun to rub around under the skin, w/ herbal-butter and stuff like that.

MOhillbilly
11-20-2009, 04:19 PM
fried not even close & you have to be a DD to screw it up.

Sandyskc
11-20-2009, 04:21 PM
Wrap in foil, then cook it breast side down, low temp. so it roasts slow, it will be moist and tender.
I cook mine over night at 275 - 300 degrees 9-12 hours depending on the size. They are always wonderful.

Baconeater
11-20-2009, 04:22 PM
AKA the $100 turkey. :)
I assume that's because of the cost of the peanut oil?

Pablo
11-20-2009, 04:25 PM
Boil it thoroughly for that fresh Carl Buddig taste.

Donger
11-20-2009, 04:26 PM
How do you chaps go about frying the turkey? Just like in the YouTube clip above (sans the dripping fireball)? Just fill up a big pot with oil and presto? I wouldn't mind trying to fry a turkey to add to my rapidly expanding list of delectable indoor cocking recipes.

Stewie
11-20-2009, 04:28 PM
I assume that's because of the cost of the peanut oil?

It's the price of all the equipment. If you've never done a fried turkey there are several items to buy. My nephew did this about five years ago and his dad said, "That's the best $100 turkey I've ever eaten." Actually he spent more than $100 on all the goods.

Use it more, the avg. price per turkey drops.

Baconeater
11-20-2009, 04:29 PM
How do you chaps go about frying the turkey? Just like in the YouTube clip above (sans the dripping fireball)? Just fill up a big pot with oil and presto? I wouldn't mind trying to fry a turkey to add to my rapidly expanding list of delectable indoor cocking recipes.
You may want to hurry up and edit that before anyone sees how close you put "delectable" and "cock" to each other.

OnTheWarpath58
11-20-2009, 04:30 PM
You may want to hurry up and edit that before anyone sees how close you put "delectable" and "cock" to each other.

ROFL

Donger
11-20-2009, 04:31 PM
You may want to hurry up and edit that before anyone sees how close you put "delectable" and "cock" to each other.

Sucker.

Baconeater
11-20-2009, 04:32 PM
It's the price of all the equipment. If you've never done a fried turkey there are several items to buy. My nephew did this about five years ago and his dad said, "That's the best $100 turkey I've ever eaten." Actually he spent more than $100 on all the goods.

Use it more, the avg. price per turkey drops.
Ah, I see. I haven't used mine for a couple years because the oil was getting too damn expensive, I never used it enough to get my money's worth out of it.

Hog Farmer
11-20-2009, 04:37 PM
Dear Mr. googlegoogle, there is a search engine on the intraweb that has all the information you need. It's called google.

Baconeater
11-20-2009, 04:41 PM
Sucker.
Hehe. Anyway, to answer your question, I would find someone who has a fryer, and is experienced in using it, and persuade them to come over and fry a turkey with you. Then you can decide if it's worth the expense and hassle to do it again.

alpha_omega
11-20-2009, 04:45 PM
Buy a ham instead.

Donger
11-20-2009, 04:48 PM
Hehe. Anyway, to answer your question, I would find someone who has a fryer, and is experienced in using it, and persuade them to come over and fry a turkey with you. Then you can decide if it's worth the expense and hassle to do it again.

I don't know anyone who has ever done so.

Pablo
11-20-2009, 04:51 PM
I don't know anyone who has ever done so.Start hanging out with more rednecks.

chefs fan in omaha
11-20-2009, 04:53 PM
Once you have a fried turkey you'll never want it any other way

Baconeater
11-20-2009, 04:54 PM
I don't know anyone who has ever done so.
Well in that case, go get a turkey and a fryer, and then start a "How the fuck do I use this turkey fryer" thread, and I'm sure there will be plenty of people willing to assist you.

Really, the most important things are getting the right amount of oil in the pot, and maintaining the proper temperature. Everything else is pretty much common sense.

kstater
11-20-2009, 04:54 PM
I don't know anyone who has ever done so.

You might ask the neighbors that sit in their garage talking to themselves.

Fish
11-20-2009, 04:54 PM
Did they manage to figure out some way of removing the danger of people who've never heard of Archimedes?

Most people don't cook turkeys with a collection of converging mirrors.... :D

Donger
11-20-2009, 04:57 PM
Well in that case, go get a turkey and a fryer, and then start a "How the **** do I use this turkey fryer" thread, and I'm sure there will be plenty of people willing to assist you.

Really, the most important things are getting the right amount of oil in the pot, and maintaining the proper temperature. Everything else is pretty much common sense.

I actually just asked one of my brothers and he has one. He said that he'd show me how to use it and then started laughing rather ominously. This is the same brother who used to shove me in a sleeping bag head-first and throw down the stairs, so I may continue to look for a deep frying mentor.

Pablo
11-20-2009, 04:57 PM
I actually just asked one of my brothers and he has one. He said that he'd show me how to use it and then started laughing rather ominously. This is the same brother who used to shove me in a sleeping bag head-first and throw down the stairs, so I may continue to look for a deep frying mentor.Did he fart in the sleeping bag before he shoved you in and threw you down the stairs?

Donger
11-20-2009, 04:58 PM
You might ask the neighbors that sit in their garage talking to themselves.

They "left" the neighborhood, unfortunately.

Donger
11-20-2009, 04:58 PM
Did he fart in the sleeping bag before he shoved you in and threw you down the stairs?

No, but he did throw the family cat in with me on more than one occasion.

Pablo
11-20-2009, 04:58 PM
They "left" the neighborhood, unfortunately.Ah, gotcha. I'm guessing you don't let the dog dig around in the back-yard anymore, eh?

Pablo
11-20-2009, 04:59 PM
No, but he did throw the family cat in with me on more than one occasion.Sounds like a great older brother to me. I locked my brother in the coat closet for hours on end sometimes. Good times.

Donger
11-20-2009, 05:00 PM
Ah, gotcha. I'm guessing you don't let the dog dig around in the back-yard anymore, eh?

Nothing like that. Rumor has it that they foreclosed. Besides, we don't live in that neighborhood any longer either.

Donger
11-20-2009, 05:01 PM
Sounds like a great older brother to me. I locked my brother in the coat closet for hours on end sometimes. Good times.

Yeah, my brothers taught me a thing or too. The middle one used to wait for me to walk past his door, when he would spring out and hit me on the back and the chest at the same time.

Pablo
11-20-2009, 05:02 PM
Nothing like that. Rumor has it that they foreclosed. Besides, we don't live in that neighborhood any longer either.Foreclosure as well?

Donger
11-20-2009, 05:03 PM
Foreclosure as well?

No. Upgrade.

Pablo
11-20-2009, 05:03 PM
Yeah, my brothers taught me a thing or too. The middle one used to wait for me to walk past his door, when he would spring out and hit me on the back and the chest at the same time.My brother and I formed a bond against our step-brother when I was about 15. We initiated him into the family Full Metal Jacket style. Soap in a sock does the trick every time.

Pablo
11-20-2009, 05:03 PM
No. Upgrade.Ah, good for you.

Demonpenz
11-20-2009, 05:09 PM
I hear frying it while still frozen is the best way to keep it from getting dry.

if there are some flames don't worry throw water on it

Pablo
11-20-2009, 05:11 PM
if there are some flames don't worry throw water on itBoiling water. You have to carry the pot first though.



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Demonpenz
11-20-2009, 05:14 PM
I couldn't believe the flame water on that fire would do. I would throw water on that shit because i am stupid. =

Pablo
11-20-2009, 05:16 PM
I couldn't believe the flame water on that fire would do. I would throw water on that shit because i am stupid. =I watched a World's Wildest Videos show once where this woman was showing how water affects a grease fire; and it's pretty fucking scary. Oil and water don't mix for a reason.

Skip Towne
11-20-2009, 05:17 PM
Go to Wal-Mart and buy a Fry Daddy. Fill 3/4 with oil. You can do legs and wings this way. The other parts are too big.

TrebMaxx
11-20-2009, 05:18 PM
First you go to the store and buy yourself a nice big turkey. Bring it home and place it on the counter. Tell your wife to cook the turkey. Works for me every time.

Stewie
11-20-2009, 05:20 PM
First you go to the store and buy yourself a nice big turkey. Bring it home and place it on the counter. Tell your wife to cook the turkey. Works for me every time.

Where's the fun in that? She probably doesn't have the skill to burn down the house.

googlegoogle
11-20-2009, 05:21 PM
slow cooking sounds good.

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art49616.asp

Skip Towne
11-20-2009, 05:22 PM
My ex would cook it in the oven in a paper bag. Very moist and juicy.

Pablo
11-20-2009, 05:23 PM
Where's the fun in that? She probably doesn't have the skill to burn down the house.She's no Talking Heads that's for sure.

Saggysack
11-20-2009, 05:35 PM
I'm going to dry brine the bird this year. Never tried it before. Don't know anyone who has.

Not going for stuffed. Instead using some fruits, veggies and herbs as aromatics. Butter with chopped basil and parley under the skin. Olive oil and creole seasonings slathered on the skin.

RJ
11-20-2009, 05:49 PM
I'm going to dry brine the bird this year. Never tried it before. Don't know anyone who has.

Not going for stuffed. Instead using some fruits, veggies and herbs as aromatics. Butter with chopped basil and parley under the skin. Olive oil and creole seasonings slathered on the skin.


What is a dry brine?

mikeyis4dcats.
11-20-2009, 05:52 PM
Ah, I see. I haven't used mine for a couple years because the oil was getting too damn expensive, I never used it enough to get my money's worth out of it.

buy cottonseed oil or the clear frying oil from Sams (18 bucks for a 4 gallon jug)

Saggysack
11-20-2009, 05:52 PM
What is a dry brine?

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/11/dining/111trex.html

http://www.latimes.com/theguide/holiday-guide/food/la-fo-calcook18-2009nov18,0,4954438.story

Gadzooks
11-20-2009, 05:53 PM
What is a dry brine?

I'd assume it's because it lacks liquids.
You place the turkey next to things, such as an apple, and hope the turkey picks up an appley taste.:shrug:

Gadzooks
11-20-2009, 05:54 PM
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/11/dining/111trex.html

http://www.latimes.com/theguide/holiday-guide/food/la-fo-calcook18-2009nov18,0,4954438.story

:cuss:

RJ
11-20-2009, 05:59 PM
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/11/dining/111trex.html

http://www.latimes.com/theguide/holiday-guide/food/la-fo-calcook18-2009nov18,0,4954438.story



Interesting. I think I may be sold on that. I'm picking up our turkey Monday, just in time for dry brining.

Anyone here ever done this?

runnercyclist
11-20-2009, 06:08 PM
Pull guts and neck out of cavity, rinse bird, put it in Weber Smokey Mountain cooker with full charcoal and mesquite wood chunks. Cook about 3-4 hours until it reaches temperature.

Eat.

Fantastic.

bevischief
11-20-2009, 06:11 PM
First, make sure it's frozen.

Then drop it into a hot deep fryer.

Make sure to keep your head over the fryer to make sure the whole bird is submerged.*

kthxbye.




*Don't do this, dipshit.


ROFL

bevischief
11-20-2009, 06:17 PM
You might ask the neighbors that sit in their garage talking to themselves.

That was my thought...
ROFL

Boise_Chief
11-20-2009, 06:33 PM
Mrs. Boise has an exceptionally elaborate 5 page recipe which results in the most fantastic bird. Can't give it out though she would cut me off for a month.

KCChiefsMan
11-20-2009, 06:42 PM
I hear frying it while still frozen is the best way to keep it from getting dry.

ROFL:evil:

RJ
11-21-2009, 06:41 PM
Pull guts and neck out of cavity, rinse bird, put it in Weber Smokey Mountain cooker with full charcoal and mesquite wood chunks. Cook about 3-4 hours until it reaches temperature.

Eat.

Fantastic.



This is what I've wanted to do the past couple of years. Unfortunately, the rest of the folks think it won't be "traditional". I've got some apple wood chunks that I think a turkey would just love.

RJ
11-21-2009, 07:13 PM
Decisions, decisions....


http://www.goodbite.com/blog/ultimate-turkey-debate-wet-vs-dry-brining


http://www.epicurious.com/articlesguides/blogs/editor/2009/11/thanksgiving-answers-what-is-dry-brining.html



I'm leaning strongly toward a dry brine.