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whoaskew
02-11-2010, 09:21 PM
I'd be curious if your stories were as bad/interesting as mine.
I had a 7 unit crackhouse, literally. Some tenants dealing it off of the front porch eventually they had a deal go bad and stabbed a guy in the building.

I offered to let the cops set up an undercover agent in a unit, told them they could stay free of charge. They thought I was crazy.

OK, here are a few of my highlights of my past 10 years in this business

1. On a Tuesday, I gave a guy the key to move in a house - he was planning to buy it from me and we were to close the following week. I kept trying to call him to get him to sign the rest of the paperwork. I stopped by to check on the house three days later on a Friday and something told me to look upstairs. Dude was laying in the middle of the bedroom floor having a seizure - shaking with his eyes wide open. The paramedics came and they told me he had been there for 3 days, but he would survive. A month later I got a call from his dad in Mississippi who said that he died in the hospital.

2. I went to the third floor of an apartment building we were renovating in an empty unit - walked all the way to the back and a 60 year old 7 foot tall crackhead was hanging on the outside of the bedroom window sill by his fingertips. I asked him why he was in my building and he told me he came in chasing after his crackhead girlfriend with AIDs because she was in the building giving head to some body and he didn't know what unit she was in.

3. I moved in the apartment building to keep an eye on things while we were working on it and to keep the wrong element out. One Saturday, I came home from the club and the apartment was broken into. I had some fried chicken cooked that I planned to eat when I got home and the bastards ate it all. I checked my liquor bottles and the bastards drank it all. My video games were missing and well as my computer monitor. I went upstairs and found the gluttonous drunk bastards passed out on the floor in an empty unit.

4. The bounty hunters came and kicked in the door to my apartment building looking for a female tenant. They found her hiding inside her unit in the bedroom closet - butt naked. They put the cuffs on her and she asked if she could put some clothes on before they take her to jail. They agreed and went to wait in the living room. Somehow she jumped out the window and ran butt naked and handcuffed down the street. I don't know if they caught her.

5. We bought a house in April 2006 and totally renovated it - I mean everything. We finished in the second week of August and immediately moved a girl in. She was a 25 year old bald cancer survivor with 4 kids. At lease signing, I stressed to her why she needed renter's insurance. The first week of September the house burned to the ground and she lost everything she owned, but her and her children made it out alive. The fire marshall told me that apparently she had an enemy who found out where she moved to and threw something in the basement that started the fire. She was pretty upset when I told her that our insurance wouldn't replace her belongings. The red cross gave her and the kids a t-shirt and flip flops.

Phobia
02-11-2010, 09:37 PM
You got any pics of the 25 year old?

HotRoute
02-11-2010, 09:45 PM
so i take it #2 (window sill guy) was looking for his crackhead girlfriend who was in post #4 (the naked houdini) or were these two incidents unrelated?

ferrarispider95
02-11-2010, 09:53 PM
This is why I only buy nicer rentals, there is less money in it, but less aggravation. I can't imagine having to try to get money out of crackhead for rent.

Ralphy Boy
02-11-2010, 10:09 PM
OK, here are a few of my highlights of my past 10 years in this business



Interesting. Thanks for sharing.

rambleonthruthefog
02-11-2010, 10:15 PM
This is why I only buy nicer rentals, there is less money in it, but less aggravation. I can't imagine having to try to get money out of crackhead for rent.

i have had to get money out of several crack head. its no fun. i was an apartment manager for 5 years, and my wife still is after more than 10 years. this thread stays around long enough i'm sure i'll remember some good ones.

BWillie
02-11-2010, 10:34 PM
This is why I only buy nicer rentals, there is less money in it, but less aggravation. I can't imagine having to try to get money out of crackhead for rent.

Can't you get the housing where the government sends you the money directly? I'm lost for words about what it's called. Guess you would still have to worry about your property getting damaged, but I'm sure it'd just be a shithole to begin w/

BWillie
02-11-2010, 10:36 PM
She was pretty upset when I told her that our insurance wouldn't replace her belongings. The red cross gave her and the kids a t-shirt and flip flops.

ROFL

That is priceless. hahaha

Ebolapox
02-11-2010, 10:58 PM
ROFL

That is priceless. hahaha

yeah. people losing all their belongings, especially when there are kids and bald cancer patients involved, is fucking hilarious.

freaking beaker fans.

:shake:

Pestilence
02-11-2010, 11:41 PM
Can't you get the housing where the government sends you the money directly? I'm lost for words about what it's called. Guess you would still have to worry about your property getting damaged, but I'm sure it'd just be a shithole to begin w/

Section 8?

Mastashake
02-11-2010, 11:55 PM
This is crazy. A guy I was talking to today is head of maintenance for 460 low-income units (government subsidized), and he was telling me a story a lot like this.

He told me an apartment was leaking water. He checked upstairs and no water ran, upstairs across the way, nothing. So he checked the one to the side. When he walks in a toilet is overflowing and feces-ridden water has soaked the entire bedroom floor. If that isn't bad enough, he sees two children running around and splashing their feet in the shit water, with the mom on the couch sleeping. They wake her up and she says, "Oh, I heard them say the toilet backed up a few hours ago but I was so tired I didn't bother to fix it yet."

He calls child services, who says, "If you fixed to toilet there's nothing we can do."

BWillie
02-12-2010, 12:02 AM
Section 8?

Exactly. I need to know more about how that works. I kinda want to be a slum lord.

Goldmember
02-12-2010, 12:20 AM
I would think you would have wised up by now and stop owning these piece of shit rentals. This is like the Darwin Awards of Landlord Ownership.

BWillie
02-12-2010, 12:26 AM
I would think you would have wised up by now and stop owning these piece of shit rentals. This is like the Darwin Awards of Landlord Ownership.

Buddy of mine owns a low-end trailer park. It's even financed...makes 100 G's, has some swinging dick that does all the management for him, and does nothin'

googlegoogle
02-12-2010, 01:39 AM
Any photos of your buildings?

Hog Farmer
02-12-2010, 03:28 AM
I learned a long time ago that screening you tenants carefully is time well spent. If they won't give you former alndlord name and number for reference or they're needing a place asap are big red flags. also I won't rent to people with no front teeth as it's a sure sign they're drug abusers.

I had a lady last year that begged and begged me to let her rent a house as she said she had to be out of her current house today. I asked her why the hurry and she actually told me she was being evicted for non payment of rent.

whoaskew
02-12-2010, 04:08 AM
Here is the original post that spun off into this thread.

I am a landlord too. Over the years, I have found that my most dependable tenants have been gay men (I am not being sarcastic). They pay rent early, fix minor things themselves, keep the place up, and they obey the law (mine and the government's). I've never had to evict a gay person and I have always been pissed when they move out.

OTOH, I have a couple dozen worthless judgments from straight people that I've had to evict over the years.

I have rented to a couple crazy ex-military guys over the years. I remember one in particular who rented an apartment from me. I saw him entering the apartment building one day and asked how his day was going, he replied that he just got shot in the head the night before and they just released him from the hospital. Apparently, he had been in the wrong neighborhood and some drug deal ended up going bad. After that, I decided I needed to change my screening standards.

I still see that guy standing around when I drive past 39th and Main. I think there is some kind of Veteran's assistance place in that strip mall.

I was in Vegas a couple years ago talking to a guy at the bar trading landlord "war stories". He told me some of his stories, which I thought were pretty tame. I told him some of mine, and he was horrified. Dude's name was Don Conrad, and I found out he was not only a landlord, but an author. His first book had just been published, and he gave me a free autographed copy. He told me I needed it - and I guess he was right.

Here it is http://www.amazon.com/How-Find-That-Quality-Tenant/dp/0978629434

It was a pretty good read, and I liked some of his suggestions, but I ended up using a simpler system.





You got any pics of the 25 year old?

I don't, but I am sure kctv5 still has the news archive of it in the videos on their site somewhere.


so i take it #2 (window sill guy) was looking for his crackhead girlfriend who was in post #4 (the naked houdini) or were these two incidents unrelated?

Actually they were two unrelated incidents. Window sill guy and his Prostitute Crackhead Girlfriend were never my tenants. They never stayed in my building. I don't even think they lived in the neighborhood.

This is crazy. A guy I was talking to today is head of maintenance for 460 low-income units (government subsidized), and he was telling me a story a lot like this.

He told me an apartment was leaking water. He checked upstairs and no water ran, upstairs across the way, nothing. So he checked the one to the side. When he walks in a toilet is overflowing and feces-ridden water has soaked the entire bedroom floor. If that isn't bad enough, he sees two children running around and splashing their feet in the shit water, with the mom on the couch sleeping. They wake her up and she says, "Oh, I heard them say the toilet backed up a few hours ago but I was so tired I didn't bother to fix it yet."

He calls child services, who says, "If you fixed to toilet there's nothing we can do."

That's horrible.


I would think you would have wised up by now and stop owning these piece of shit rentals. This is like the Darwin Awards of Landlord Ownership.

That was when I was 21 through 24 years old. Not a lot of my peers owned their own house at that age, let alone apartment buildings and a handful of houses. Who was I supposed to get advice from? This stuff doesn't get taught in college or graduate school. Trust me, I know.

Any photos of your buildings?

I have some old pics from when I first got the building. I put them on a website that I don't update anymore. I send it to you in a PM, as I don't really want the world to see them. They look a lot different now, though.

thecoffeeguy
02-12-2010, 08:09 AM
OK, here are a few of my highlights of my past 10 years in this business

1. On a Tuesday, I gave a guy the key to move in a house - he was planning to buy it from me and we were to close the following week. I kept trying to call him to get him to sign the rest of the paperwork. I stopped by to check on the house three days later on a Friday and something told me to look upstairs. Dude was laying in the middle of the bedroom floor having a seizure - shaking with his eyes wide open. The paramedics came and they told me he had been there for 3 days, but he would survive. A month later I got a call from his dad in Mississippi who said that he died in the hospital.

2. I went to the third floor of an apartment building we were renovating in an empty unit - walked all the way to the back and a 60 year old 7 foot tall crackhead was hanging on the outside of the bedroom window sill by his fingertips. I asked him why he was in my building and he told me he came in chasing after his crackhead girlfriend with AIDs because she was in the building giving head to some body and he didn't know what unit she was in.

3. I moved in the apartment building to keep an eye on things while we were working on it and to keep the wrong element out. One Saturday, I came home from the club and the apartment was broken into. I had some fried chicken cooked that I planned to eat when I got home and the bastards ate it all. I checked my liquor bottles and the bastards drank it all. My video games were missing and well as my computer monitor. I went upstairs and found the gluttonous drunk bastards passed out on the floor in an empty unit.

4. The bounty hunters came and kicked in the door to my apartment building looking for a female tenant. They found her hiding inside her unit in the bedroom closet - butt naked. They put the cuffs on her and she asked if she could put some clothes on before they take her to jail. They agreed and went to wait in the living room. Somehow she jumped out the window and ran butt naked and handcuffed down the street. I don't know if they caught her.

5. We bought a house in April 2006 and totally renovated it - I mean everything. We finished in the second week of August and immediately moved a girl in. She was a 25 year old bald cancer survivor with 4 kids. At lease signing, I stressed to her why she needed renter's insurance. The first week of September the house burned to the ground and she lost everything she owned, but her and her children made it out alive. The fire marshall told me that apparently she had an enemy who found out where she moved to and threw something in the basement that started the fire. She was pretty upset when I told her that our insurance wouldn't replace her belongings. The red cross gave her and the kids a t-shirt and flip flops.

Wow. Wish I was closer so I could buy you a beer and hear more stories.
That is fascinating.

Tango&Cash
02-12-2010, 08:31 AM
5. We bought a house in April 2006 and totally renovated it - I mean everything. We finished in the second week of August and immediately moved a girl in. She was a 25 year old bald cancer survivor with 4 kids. At lease signing, I stressed to her why she needed renter's insurance. The first week of September the house burned to the ground and she lost everything she owned, but her and her children made it out alive. The fire marshall told me that apparently she had an enemy who found out where she moved to and threw something in the basement that started the fire. She was pretty upset when I told her that our insurance wouldn't replace her belongings. The red cross gave her and the kids a t-shirt and flip flops.

My house burned down to the ground and all I got to show for it was this damn T-shirt and flippy floppies ROFL



Really thats too bad though.

Bwana
02-12-2010, 08:43 AM
Heh, I would not do well owning one of these places.

penchief
02-12-2010, 09:46 AM
Exactly. I need to know more about how that works. I kinda want to be a slum lord.

It's inaccurate to characterize all subsidized housing that way. Aside from Section 8 there is also USDA Rural Development. There are probably others as, well. There is also a federal tax credit low-income housing program (section 42) which does not subsidize but provides tax credits for offering affordable housing.

What most people fail to realize is that government subsidized housing is subject to annual inspections of both the physical condition of the property (including individual apartments) and the administrative. A typical government subsidized housing complex will probably endure at least three annual inspections per year. All of which are very stringent.

The subsidizing agency will do its inspection. The state will do their inspection. If the property is a tax-credit property, Section 42 will do an inspection. And since most subsidized housing is privately owned, the investment group or syndicators will do their own inspection. And of course, every property will have to go through a local code enforcement inspection.

That said, I am familiar with several subsidized properties that are just as nice or nicer than the more expensive up-scale apartment complexes that charge full rents. It depends on how committed the owner or the management company is and how much pride is taken in their property.

Another thing that most people don't realize is that anyone living off of Social Security, SSI, or Social Security Disability who doesn't live with family or own their own home will probably live in subsidized housing. At least half if not more of government subsidized housing is for seniors and disabled. Based on their fixed low monthly incomes they would not be able to afford market housing and would most likely be on the street.

I find that there is a huge misconception when it comes to subsidized housing. Yes, often times landlords are dealing with a segment of society that includes those who have little self-awareness and little respect for others. And that makes their job more difficult. But I have also found that those properties which believe everyone has the right to live with dignity in a safe and clean environment can do quite well in dealing with those problems. And subsequently, those properties are very capable of providing a decent place to live for households with low and fixed incomes.

Now, there are some Section 8 programs in which the individual has the voucher and not the property. In those cases the individual can live wherever they want as long as the landlord will accept the voucher and his or her property passes the inspection given by the local Section 8 office. But aside from that you will find it is more likely a slum lord will own unsubsidized property moreso than government subsidized property which would be subjected to government regulations and numerous annual inspections designed to ensure compliance.

Dave Lane
02-12-2010, 10:13 AM
I've got WAY too many stories. I'd be typing all day. Oh and churches maybe the worst commercial payer of all.

Ralphy Boy
02-12-2010, 11:07 AM
I've got WAY too many stories. I'd be typing all day.

Same here, though most of mine are just funny because of how ridiculous they were.

whoaskew
02-12-2010, 02:02 PM
Come on Dave, let us hear some of your "west of Troost" horror stories.

To penchief: I totally agree with you. A lot of my problems disappeared when I started accepting section 8 and I'm not just talking about the rent collection problems.
Posted via Mobile Device

whoaskew
02-23-2011, 08:44 PM
I got a call from one of my section 8 tenants who told me that she wanted to know what she needed to do if she wanted to break the lease early.

I asked her why was she moving, and she told me because they won't cut her gas on.

Of course, I asked why didn't she call me? Is something wrong with the furnace or is the water heater the problem?

She said no, nothing is wrong with that stuff. The gas company won't cut my gas on until the assistance place (United Services) pays my old gas bill for me.

And United Services won't pay my gas bill for me until I give them a copy of my current lease. She said she doesn't have a "current" lease, and needed to move to a new place to get one.

I told her that "no, a current lease is the lease that currently applies to where you are living at right now. I could always make her another copy of her lease, if she needed it."

She said that she already had a copy of "that" lease, but she didn't want to give United Services her only copy.

I yelled at her in the nicest way that was humanly possible - "so why don't you make a copy to give them, or fax in a copy to them, or even go down there and have them make a copy and give your original back?"

She said, that is a good idea, I didn't think of that.


My God - you can't make this stuff up.

Baconeater
02-23-2011, 09:32 PM
Yeah, you gotta love Sec 8. We had a lady who moved elsewhere over the winter but didn't notify us because she wanted to continue getting her utility subsidy refunds. When she left in the middle of December she shut her furnace completely off to get the maximum possible refund, and yeah, you guessed it, the pipes froze and flooded the entire first floor of the building.

LiveSteam
02-23-2011, 10:48 PM
Exactly. I need to know more about how that works. I kinda want to be a slum lord.

DONT DO IT!
they will go into the basement & tear out part of the concrete floor & start growing Marijuana.
& they wont even offer you any.

whoaskew
02-24-2011, 12:45 AM
Yeah, you gotta love Sec 8. We had a lady who moved elsewhere over the winter but didn't notify us because she wanted to continue getting her utility subsidy refunds. When she left in the middle of December she shut her furnace completely off to get the maximum possible refund, and yeah, you guessed it, the pipes froze and flooded the entire first floor of the building.


That really sucks. I've considered buying a renter's insurance policy for my tenants for situations like that. I found a cheap renter's policy somewhere for around $12 per month.

I have also been considering replacing all the copper water pipes in my rentals with pex, but only if the rumor is true that pex pipes don't burst when the water in them freezes.

I'd hate to spend all that money switching over and then end up as the guy that proves the rumor wrong.

Ralphy Boy
02-24-2011, 01:20 AM
I once had 3 brothers that rented a 1 bedroom unit, they were there when I bought it. Two were identical twins and the third brother looked like the "if they mated" offspring of Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Sloth from Goonies. At one point they tried to move their other brother in, who happened to be legless. I quickly told them no and informed them that I would have never rented to them in the first place, based on the number of people in a 1 bedroom, but since they were there when I bought it I let them stay.

Long story short, I got a call from one of the brothers saying that his legless brother had stolen a 4 wheeler and somehow got it into their kitchen and proceeded to peel out on the vinyl floor. He called me because he was concerned that I would hold him accountable for the skid marks it left. I was dumbfounded by the fact that a guy with no legs was able to steal a 4 wheeler in the first place AND that he was able to get it up the 5 to 8 steps it took to get it into their apartment.

Those guys frustrated the hell out of me but gave me a tremendous number of stories. The twins were close, I mean real close. They slept together, on the hardwood floors, lying only on a blanket and covered in another. I once walked in on what I thought was just one of them and it turned out to be both of them, spooning on the floor.

They called the cops and health department on me frequently. I was accused of kidnapping them, but the cops knew they were nuts. They'd called the health department on me because of a toilet issue that they created by overflowing the toilet. Then, on a cold ass January day, I drove over to talk to them about it and saw them walking down the street a few blocks from home. I offered them a ride back to the apartment and when they got in the car, my automatic door locks kicked in after I drove faster than 15 mph. Apparently because the door didn't open when the dumbass in the backseat tried the handle, he decided that meant he was being held against his will.

Coach
02-24-2011, 03:24 AM
Not really a landlord, but did work at a section 8 several years back.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=202878&highlight=lady+gun

whoaskew
02-24-2011, 03:39 PM
.........

...............



There are some really crazy people in this world.