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View Full Version : Life -- How do you cope w/ your 'Swamp-Ass' issue?


Bi_polar
02-16-2010, 02:53 PM
Yeah, say you go out on a Friday night and forget to powder up your butthole. How do you maintain or reachieve that freshness? Do you gamble (assuming you probably won't score, anyway?)

-or-

Do you carry around wet-naps? Do you try that ax deodorant spray?

Or, is it such a rare occurance that it's pointless to care that you smell like asshole?


-discus





http://i50.tinypic.com/2vnnwg6.jpg

Tango&Cash
02-16-2010, 02:54 PM
Uhh......shower?

JOhn
02-16-2010, 02:54 PM
Dude, I'm not sure what is worse, the subject of this thread or your Avatar :Lin:

Delano
02-16-2010, 02:56 PM
Really, I'm fine with it unless it starts to itch.
Posted via Mobile Device

RJ
02-16-2010, 02:58 PM
Dude, I'm not sure what is worse, the subject of this thread or your Avatar :Lin:


That avatar is a classic.

JOhn
02-16-2010, 03:00 PM
That avatar is a classic.

Oh I'm sure it will be, but still kinda creepy. I actually think I might know that guy, looks like a friend of mine's brother. :hmmm:

Donger
02-16-2010, 03:01 PM
I don't want power anything near my anus.

seclark
02-16-2010, 03:02 PM
wiping my ass after a dump usually works for me.
i'm old school.
sec

JohnnyV13
02-16-2010, 03:03 PM
Is this a gay dating issues thread?

Bi_polar
02-16-2010, 03:04 PM
Is this a gay dating issues thread?

yes and I think you are fucking hot.

rambleonthruthefog
02-16-2010, 03:06 PM
just keep wetwipes on your toilet. get into the habit of using them, and swamp ass won't be an issue.

Delano
02-16-2010, 03:10 PM
Oh, and by the way, Axe spray has entirely too much alcohol. Try to find a spray with no alcohol.
Posted via Mobile Device

Bi_polar
02-16-2010, 03:11 PM
Oh, and by the way, Axe spray has entirely too much alcohol. Try to find a spray with no alcohol.
Posted via Mobile Device


Some Parfumers offer a scented talc powder.

JOhn
02-16-2010, 03:12 PM
Oh, and by the way, Axe spray has entirely too much alcohol. Try to find a spray with no alcohol.
Posted via Mobile Device

:LOL::LOL::LOL:

Experience?

Sofa King
02-16-2010, 03:12 PM
wiping my ass after a dump usually works for me.
i'm old school.
sec

hahaha

tooge
02-16-2010, 03:13 PM
I generally only get swampass golfing, hiking, or working outside in the hottest of weather. In any case, I'm in no mood to try to score at that point anyhow, I just want A/C and a cold beer. Shower, that is all.

Fish
02-16-2010, 03:14 PM
wiping my ass after a dump usually works for me.
i'm old school.
sec

This. Good fucking grief.. this.

Frazod
02-16-2010, 03:15 PM
Dude, I'm not sure what is worse, the subject of this thread or your Avatar :Lin:

They kind of go together, actually..... :D

Buck
02-16-2010, 03:16 PM
Sometimes you cant help it in the 115 degree heat.

Solution: Move to Olathe.

seclark
02-16-2010, 03:17 PM
This. Good ****ing grief.. this.

simple is always better. if there's still an issue:

Silock
02-16-2010, 03:18 PM
The fuck is swampass?

DaFace
02-16-2010, 03:20 PM
I don't believe I have ever powdered or deodorized my ass. That seems really odd.

journeyscarab
02-16-2010, 03:21 PM
SNL did a skit for "Ass Don't Smell"

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/92/92eass.phtml

Ass Don't Smell

Bob.....Kevin Nealon
Male Co-Worker #1.....Rob Schneider
Male Co-Worker #2.....David Spade
Male Co-Worker #3.....Tim Meadows


Bob: Let me bring you up to date on the Civic Center project..

Male Co-Worker #1: [ sniffing the air ] Did somebody step in something?

Bob: I had Ted draw these up over the weekend..

Male Co-Worker #1: Oh, come on! Doesn't anybody else smell it?

[ turns around and disgusts tow other co-workers with the smell from his ass ]

Bob: I think we've finally solved the underground garage problem..

Male Co-Worker #1: I'm sorry. I can't concentrate. Can't we do this over the phone?

Male Co-Worker #2: Yes!

[ everyone leaves the office, leaving confused ]

[ SUPER: The Next Day ]

Bob: [ notices Ass Don't Smell canister on his desk ] Ass Don't Smell? [ thinking ] Hmm.. maybe osmebody's trying to tell me something..

Announcer: Scrubbing doesn't work; perfumes only cover it up; and who has the time to soak? Forget all that junk, and step up to Ass Don't Smell.

[ SUPER: A Week Later ]

Male Co-Worker #3: Hey, Bob! Congratulations on the Civic Center project!

Bob: Thanks!

Male Co-Worker #3: [ notices canister in Bob's locker ] Huh? Ass Don't Smell? But your ass doesn't smell.

Bob: [ smiling confidently ] Exactly.

Announcer: Ass Don't Smell. The name says it all. Now, in new tamper-proof package.

Mr. Laz
02-16-2010, 03:23 PM
someone must not wipe correctly or something ... just take a shower before you go out. :shake:

Bi_polar
02-16-2010, 03:27 PM
GUYZ TRUST ME,

Bitches don't wanna smell your ass when they're dealing hummers. TRUST ME!

JOhn
02-16-2010, 03:29 PM
GUYZ TRUST ME,

Bitches don't wanna smell your ass when they're dealing hummers. TRUST ME!

Well especially those freaky chicks that like to lick, err nevermind

Frazod
02-16-2010, 03:29 PM
GUYZ TRUST ME,

Bitches don't wanna smell your ass when they're dealing hummers. TRUST ME!

Maybe you should just shove one of those Glade things up your ass. You could keep several handy and give her her choice of scents, just like they do at the car wash. LMAO

Stewie
02-16-2010, 03:31 PM
Define "swamp-ass." The ass is right there, the next door over. Should it smell like shit, no, should it be floral, no.

Kerberos
02-16-2010, 03:32 PM
The **************** is swampass?

You'd know it if you had Swampass.

Cats and dogs would follow you around for weeks. (So I've heard) ;)

Sofa King
02-16-2010, 03:35 PM
two things..

1st. Swamp ass can also be called Goo Butt... and if you dont take care of it, it will turn into Chapped Ass... which is not pleasant..

2nd.

http://www.yourfunnystuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/flies-on-a-womans-butt.jpg

MoreLemonPledge
02-16-2010, 03:36 PM
two things..

1st. Swamp ass can also be called Goo Butt... and if you dont take care of it, it will turn into Chapped Ass... which is not pleasant..

2nd.

http://www.yourfunnystuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/flies-on-a-womans-butt.jpg

Fuck, you just beat me to it.

MikeMaslowski
02-16-2010, 03:36 PM
Wouldn't wanna turn out like this......

http://i958.photobucket.com/albums/ae69/mikemaslowski/stinky.jpg

seclark
02-16-2010, 03:38 PM
Wouldn't wanna turn out like this......

http://i958.photobucket.com/albums/ae69/mikemaslowski/stinky.jpg

snicker
sec

Sofa King
02-16-2010, 04:11 PM
****, you just beat me to it.

:D

you're not the first one that said that...

Jilly
02-16-2010, 04:35 PM
I'd be more worried about skunk balls if I were you.

Bi_polar
02-16-2010, 04:41 PM
I'd be more worried about skunk balls if I were you.

if you're referring to me, I assure you, my balls smell like my arm would/will/does. Also a slight minty smell, due to the lemongrass body wash (attached below)


http://i47.tinypic.com/2rqhaug.jpg

Goldmember
02-16-2010, 04:57 PM
two things..

1st. Swamp ass can also be called Goo Butt... and if you dont take care of it, it will turn into Chapped Ass... which is not pleasant..

2nd.

http://www.yourfunnystuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/flies-on-a-womans-butt.jpg

Which leads to Maggot-Ass

Goldmember
02-16-2010, 05:02 PM
I'd be more worried about skunk balls if I were you.

If YOU had to choose only one....would you rather deal with skunk balls or swamp ass?

Jilly
02-16-2010, 05:02 PM
if you're referring to me, I assure you, my balls smell like my arm would/will/does. Also a slight minty smell, due to the lemongrass body wash (attached below)


http://i47.tinypic.com/2rqhaug.jpg


that shit tastes disgusting.

Fritz88
02-16-2010, 05:04 PM
http://l.yimg.com/a/p/sp/tools/med/2010/02/ipt/1266264009.jpg

Bi_polar
02-16-2010, 05:06 PM
that shit tastes disgusting.

oh it'd/they'd be (and are) rinsed entirely and towel dried, exceptionally. No after-taste, just 'balls heaven.' pure Flesh-n-Balls.

Stewie
02-16-2010, 05:25 PM
oh it'd/they'd be (and are) rinsed entirely and towel dried, exceptionally. No after-taste, just 'balls heaven.' pure Flesh-n-Balls.

Just rub some musk on your balls. It'll make you more of a man than you are.

Bi_polar
02-16-2010, 05:27 PM
Just rub some musk on your balls. It'll make you more of a man than you are.

I read that as 'mask' ... as in; a mud-mask. :LOL::p

Der Flöprer
02-16-2010, 05:31 PM
Does powdering your butthole work? Any rash, or irritation issues?

Bi_polar
02-16-2010, 05:37 PM
Does powdering your butthole work? Any rash, or irritation issues?

no, none that i've ever had, generally, I'll only powder up down low, if I expect some action. It's not a habitual ritual.

...just so we are clear, here.

bevischief
02-16-2010, 05:44 PM
Does powdering your butthole work? Any rash, or irritation issues?

It doubles in size and turns into a dependent...