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View Full Version : Money What currency would you most like to have your face on?


Rain Man
03-15-2010, 06:04 PM
In a fundraising effort to lower the national debt and create jobs, President Obama holds a raffle, and the winner gets their likeness on a piece of American currency. You buy a ticket from one of the 500,000 people who are paid to sell tickets door to door, and you dream of the possiblities.

The big moment comes on a Thursday night right after Grey's Anatomy. Obama pulls a pingpong ball out of one of those big rolling bingo cages, and hands it to the teleprompter operator who programs it in. President Obama then reads the number, "28573591035845", and lo and behold, some guy in Delaware is the winner!

But they do a quick background check, and that guy's got a felony conviction for threatening former Three's Company star Joyce Dewitt with a claw hammer. You can't put a guy like that on currency, so they draw again.

"69281874603108!"

The award goes to a woman in Texas, but a quick background check shows that she was naked in a hot tub with a certain senator from Tennessee in the mid-90s when she was a minor, and he'd rather keep that whole thing quiet. So she gets a check for $150,000 and goes to Aruba, and they draw again.

"81029382734560!"

And your mother wins!

But it turns out that your mother is in hiding, because unbeknownst to you, she was a clandestine arms dealer before she met your father, and there are still a whole lot of people in Zimbabwe, East Timor, Peru, Sri Lanka, Northern Ireland, and Cuba who want her dead, even though most of the Cubans are still in prison a half-century later. So she gives the winning card to you, since you're her little angel and she knows that you're going to be famous some day if you would only stop working so hard.

So they run a background check on you, and obviously there's some sort of computer problem because it comes back clean, so you get your likeness on an American coin or bill.

Which one do you pick? Poll forthcoming.

JD10367
03-15-2010, 06:08 PM
I would want to be on the three-dollar bill. And I'd pose in a pink ruffled shirt with a long-haired wig and makeup. Just so whenever people say about something, "that's as queer as a three-dollar bill!", I could pull one out and say, "Yeah, it IS... and I'M ON IT!" :D

Kyle DeLexus
03-15-2010, 06:11 PM
The $100 bill or the quarter, maybe the $20

cdcox
03-15-2010, 06:13 PM
The $20. It's the new $5.

Rain Man
03-15-2010, 06:14 PM
I thought about the $100 bill, but went with the $10 bill.

Coins are too small, so I took them out of the running, and $1 and $5 bills are common enough that people don't really look at them any more. $20 bills all have cocaine on them, and I didn't want my picture to be hoarded in Colombia. Anything over $100 is so rare that it's not impactful.

So that leaves the $10, $50, and $100. I took the $10 because I think they're not nearly as common as other small bills, so people actually look at them. Any of the three would have worked, though.

Kyle DeLexus
03-15-2010, 06:17 PM
I thought about the $100 bill, but went with the $10 bill.

Coins are too small, so I took them out of the running, and $1 and $5 bills are common enough that people don't really look at them any more. $20 bills all have cocaine on them, and I didn't want my picture to be hoarded in Colombia. Anything over $100 is so rare that it's not impactful.

So that leaves the $10, $50, and $100. I took the $10 because I think they're not nearly as common as other small bills, so people actually look at them. Any of the three would have worked, though.

Huh that's funny, I snort my cocaine with $10's, $50's and $100's

LaChapelle
03-15-2010, 06:19 PM
I want it on my foodstamp card
so when I lose it at the liquor store they know who to give it back to

Braincase
03-15-2010, 06:34 PM
(Hides claw hammer)

patteeu
03-15-2010, 06:37 PM
If mom wanted to remain in hiding, why did she buy a raffle ticket?

I voted for the $20. It won't be long and it will be the new $1 and I'll be as ubiquitous as George Washington has been throughout my life.

Brianfo
03-15-2010, 06:43 PM
Dumb question. $100 bill. EOC

Mr. Flopnuts
03-15-2010, 06:50 PM
I chose the one hundred dollar bill. It was really a pretty easy choice.

Now, rap songs will be rewritten to include the lyrics "It's all about the Flopnuts, baby". It makes a ton more sense that way.

Rain Man
03-15-2010, 07:18 PM
If mom wanted to remain in hiding, why did she buy a raffle ticket?


My guess is that she's got a gambling problem.

Count Zarth
03-15-2010, 07:21 PM
Carrie Underwood's snatch. Because that shit is GOLD.

gblowfish
03-15-2010, 07:21 PM
I'll bet a lot of guys here have used currency to have somebody else placed on their face.

stlchiefs
03-15-2010, 09:15 PM
"It's all about the Flopnuts, baby". It makes a ton more sense that way.

ROFL

BWillie
03-15-2010, 09:37 PM
Uh hello. The obvious is the $1 dollar bill. I'd be between some strippers tits virtually every minute of every day. That dollar bill can go in many other places as well to make payment for such indecent acts. Glorious.

MoreLemonPledge
03-15-2010, 09:37 PM
Penny. You see pennies everywhere.

Mr. Flopnuts
03-15-2010, 09:45 PM
Uh hello. The obvious is the $1 dollar bill. I'd be between some strippers tits virtually every minute of every day. That dollar bill can go in many other places as well to make payment for such indecent acts. Glorious.

Ahh, the inexperience of youth. Do you think Mr. Flopnuts didn't think about that? Do you want your face in the snatch of every crack whore across America? No, I don't think so. By using the $100 bill, you are far more likely to be placed in the vagina of a high class ho.

Rain Man
03-15-2010, 09:45 PM
Uh hello. The obvious is the $1 dollar bill. I'd be between some strippers tits virtually every minute of every day. That dollar bill can go in many other places as well to make payment for such indecent acts. Glorious.

This is actually a really good point.

Kyle DeLexus
03-15-2010, 09:50 PM
Ahh, the inexperience of youth. Do you think Mr. Flopnuts didn't think about that? Do you want your face in the snatch of every crack whore across America? No, I don't think so. By using the $100 bill, you are far more likely to be placed in the vagina of a high class ho.

This is another fantastic point by our favorite son, Flopnuts.

Mr. Flopnuts
03-15-2010, 09:51 PM
This is another fantastic point by our favorite son, Flopnuts.

Thank you. I try to be the beacon of light, in a deep, dark, hole.

chefsos
03-15-2010, 10:01 PM
(Hides claw hammer)Wipe my fingerprints off it first, please. Thx.

chefsos
03-15-2010, 10:04 PM
...But if I were eligible, I'd like to have the $1 coin. Anonymity, you know.

BWillie
03-15-2010, 10:05 PM
Ahh, the inexperience of youth. Do you think Mr. Flopnuts didn't think about that? Do you want your face in the snatch of every crack whore across America? No, I don't think so. By using the $100 bill, you are far more likely to be placed in the vagina of a high class ho.

I prefer bustacious skanks.

Mr. Flopnuts
03-15-2010, 10:47 PM
I prefer bustacious skanks.

To each his own. To each. His own.

http://www.generationaxisblog.com/.a/6a00e55391936988340120a6726a98970c-300wi

Norman Einstein
03-15-2010, 10:49 PM
I would want to be on the three-dollar bill. And I'd pose in a pink ruffled shirt with a long-haired wig and makeup. Just so whenever people say about something, "that's as queer as a three-dollar bill!", I could pull one out and say, "Yeah, it IS... and I'M ON IT!" :D
But your name isn't GoChiefs.

Norman Einstein
03-15-2010, 10:51 PM
Someone might as well go for the big bills, that's going to be the norm after another year of Obama. We will be using dollars as pennies or mils.

MahiMike
03-16-2010, 06:39 AM
$100 Euro.