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View Full Version : Life Jizz-sniffing janitor busts elementary school teacher


Count Zarth
04-20-2010, 01:15 PM
Awesome. Our country is fucked up.

http://www.hollandsentinel.com/news/x749206511/Hamilton-schools-teacher-Daniel-DuPuis-faces-felony-charge-for-indecent-exposure

Hamilton schools teacher Daniel DuPuis faces felony charge for indecent exposure

A Hamilton Community Schools teacher has been arraigned on a felony charge related to allegedly masturbating in school.

Daniel James DuPuis was arraigned Monday in Allegan County District Court on a charge of aggravated indecent exposure which carries a maximum penalty of up to two years in prison. Offenses are alleged to have happened between Jan. 1 and April.

DuPuis, 28, of Holland, who was teaching music at Hamilton Elementary and Hamilton Middle School, was arrested Friday. He has been released on a $5,000 bond.

In a letter sent to parents on Friday, school administrators said they learned of an incident Thursday and contacted police. School officials said DuPuis was suspended without pay and that the alleged activity involved no contact with students or other staff.

According to court records, the Michigan State Police was contacted by school administrators after a janitor found a tissue that “smelled like semen” in a wastebasket in a room at the middle school. DuPuis was interviewed by a state police trooper and the middle school principal Scott Smith.

On several other occasions, according to the record of a probable cause hearing held Friday, the janitor had noted suspicious items in the trash, including a pair of “panties.”

DuPuis admitted to masturbating five times in a locked office area with a glass door and a window with no shade but denied connection to the underwear, according to court records.

He reportedly said students did use the room to practice during lunch and that when the students left, he locked the door of the office and masturbated, with no students around.

DePuis has a wife and two small children and is a worship leader for Engedi Church in Holland, court testimony shows.

The church website lists him as worship director with a B.A. in music education from Hope College.

A call to Engedi Tuesday was not immediately returned.

Speaking before the arraignment Monday, Superintendent Scott Korpak emphasized that “there is no involvement of students ... no involvement of other staff members.”

The charge alleges that DuPuis made “an open or indecent exposure” of himself while fondling himself.

soopamanluva
04-20-2010, 01:27 PM
Man, if the urge hits you THAT hard, go sit in the car.

mikey23545
04-20-2010, 01:29 PM
How was he "indecently exposing" himself if he was in a locked room by himself and evidently unobserved?

Not that I don't have to question the propriety of a teacher who jacks off at school...

sedated
04-20-2010, 01:29 PM
if masterbating in schools is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

burt
04-20-2010, 01:31 PM
come again?

Frazod
04-20-2010, 01:32 PM
Jesus. This story is just so wrong, at every level. :shake:

Pants
04-20-2010, 01:34 PM
if masterbating in schools is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

ROFL

seclark
04-20-2010, 01:35 PM
my questions are, why's the janitor sniffing tissues he's pulling out of wastebaskets, and how the hell does he know what semen smells like?

sec

Pants
04-20-2010, 01:36 PM
Jesus. This story is just so wrong, at every level. :shake:

Why? I'm assuming the dude can't do it home cause of his uber-religious wife and kids so he had to resort to flogging his dolphin at his place of work, which happened to be a school. It's not like he was doing it in front of kids or anything. If dude gets 2 years for this bullshit and even worse gets labeled as a sexual deviant, this country is fucking broken in more ways than I had already thought.

KCUnited
04-20-2010, 01:36 PM
Guarantee that janitor keeps a decade old cum rag near the head of his bed. Only way to recognize that smell...so I've heard.

seclark
04-20-2010, 01:40 PM
i have a suggestion for Smellympics - Round 1, Heat 5
sec

burt
04-20-2010, 01:41 PM
in related news, the Principal says that same teacher has a firm hand shake.....

siberian khatru
04-20-2010, 01:42 PM
come again?

I think that was his problem.

siberian khatru
04-20-2010, 01:43 PM
I don't know how you could put yourself in such a sticky situation.

Rain Man
04-20-2010, 01:44 PM
This is going to drive men completely out of the teaching profession.


In all seriousness, WTF? This should have been handled by the principal saying, "Um, go home and do that, m'kay?" Not by felony charges.

burt
04-20-2010, 01:46 PM
This is going to drive men completely out of the teaching profession.


In all seriousness, WTF? This should have been handled by the principal, then the teacher wouldn't have had to masturbate.

fyp

Otter
04-20-2010, 01:47 PM
I should be in jail apparently.

siberian khatru
04-20-2010, 01:48 PM
This is going to drive men completely out of the teaching profession.


In all seriousness, WTF? This should have been handled by the principal saying, "Um, go home and do that, m'kay?" Not by felony charges.

In all seriousness ... I agree.

What he did was inappropriate, to say the least. But criminal? C'mon. Especially since he wasn't even caught in the act.

siberian khatru
04-20-2010, 01:49 PM
I should be in jail apparently.

I'd have the death penalty.

Radar Chief
04-20-2010, 01:49 PM
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QuikSsurfer
04-20-2010, 01:50 PM
come again?

i c wat u did thar

seclark
04-20-2010, 01:50 PM
"is that where he wants to be when Jesus comes back?"

Frazod
04-20-2010, 01:53 PM
This is going to drive men completely out of the teaching profession.


In all seriousness, WTF? This should have been handled by the principal saying, "Um, go home and do that, m'kay?" Not by felony charges.

If he gets so excited being a room full of pubescent girls(boys?) that he can't wait until he gets home to flog the bishop, what might he be capable of in another few years? The whole "church leader" angle sends up big red flags, too. Seems like this freak might be a prime candidate to use a position of trust/authority to lure victims.

Fuck him.

Chief Chief
04-20-2010, 02:02 PM
Another suspicious item found in the trash by the janitor was GoChiefs with his mouth wide open.

Pants
04-20-2010, 02:03 PM
Another suspicious item found in the trash by the janitor was GoChiefs with his mouth wide open.

I don't know why, but that made me laugh.

Dallas Chief
04-20-2010, 02:28 PM
if masterbating in schools is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

For those that recognize the name... Tard/T-Bone from 98.9 in Kansas City got caught jerking it at our high school. Man those had to be tough years for him because we were relentless in giving him hell about it. Probably what drove him to the antics on the radio...:p

NewChief
04-20-2010, 02:31 PM
If he gets so excited being a room full of pubescent girls(boys?) that he can't wait until he gets home to flog the bishop, what might he be capable of in another few years? The whole "church leader" angle sends up big red flags, too. Seems like this freak might be a prime candidate to use a position of trust/authority to lure victims.

**** him.

Who says he was aroused by the kids? Have you seen what elementary school teachers dress like? Good grief. My wife and I went to register our eldest for kindergarten the other day. We couldn't believe some of the teachers as they pranced along in low cut, sleeveless shirts and high heels.

I think that elementary school teacher is sometimes the way a trophy wife keeps herself busy, judging by the foxes in this school. I told my wife I was signing up for the PTO.

gblowfish
04-20-2010, 02:33 PM
His teaching job just slipped right through his fingers.

Maybe he'll get a lawyer and beat the rap.

raybec 4
04-20-2010, 02:33 PM
my questions are, why's the janitor sniffing tissues he's pulling out of wastebaskets, and how the hell does he know what semen smells like?

sec

To add to that, what in the blue fuck would make anyone tell someone else "Hey I smelled some of the tissues in this guys trash can and they smell like cum"?

Mr. Laz
04-20-2010, 02:34 PM
come again?:LOL:

Frazod
04-20-2010, 02:35 PM
Who says he was aroused by the kids? Have you seen what elementary school teachers dress like? Good grief. My wife and I went to register our eldest for kindergarten the other day. We couldn't believe some of the teachers as they pranced along in low cut, sleeveless shirts and high heels.

I think that elementary school teacher is sometimes the way a trophy wife keeps herself busy, judging by the foxes in this school. I told my wife I was signing up for the PTO.

Who says that he wasn't? Sorry, but I'm not exactly inclined to believe him at this point.

You can't take a chance with shit like this. Not with what's at stake.

Pestilence
04-20-2010, 02:36 PM
Who says that he wasn't? Sorry, but I'm not exactly inclined to believe him at this point.

You can't take a chance with shit like this. Not with what's at stake.

Dude....it's not like he was jerking it under his desk while the kids sat in the classroom.

pr_capone
04-20-2010, 02:36 PM
If he gets so excited being a room full of pubescent girls(boys?) that he can't wait until he gets home to flog the bishop, what might he be capable of in another few years? The whole "church leader" angle sends up big red flags, too. Seems like this freak might be a prime candidate to use a position of trust/authority to lure victims.

**** him.

Have you never heard of tugging it just as a stress reliever?

Pestilence
04-20-2010, 02:37 PM
Oh.....and this just proves that he should have flushed the "evidence". Why the fuck would you just throw it in the trashcan?

gblowfish
04-20-2010, 02:37 PM
RELEASE THE DEMONS....
in the band room!

NewChief
04-20-2010, 02:39 PM
Dude....it's not like he was jerking it under his desk while the kids sat in the classroom.

But he was jerking it in a glassed in office with no blinds/shades over the glass. That's a little sketchy. I mean, I'm not one to criticize other people's kinks as long as they aren't hurting anyone else... but yeah... that behavior is a little questionable.

Pestilence
04-20-2010, 02:40 PM
But he was jerking it in a glassed in office with no blinds/shades over the glass. That's a little sketchy. I mean, I'm not one to criticize other people's kinks as long as they aren't hurting anyone else... but yeah... that behavior is a little questionable.

True....but I automatically wouldn't assume that he was jerking it to the kids.

I'm not condoning his actions......but jumping to the conclusion that he was jerking it to the kids is a little off.

pr_capone
04-20-2010, 02:41 PM
But he was jerking it in a glassed in office with no blinds/shades over the glass. That's a little sketchy. I mean, I'm not one to criticize other people's kinks as long as they aren't hurting anyone else... but yeah... that behavior is a little questionable.

*edit nvm, misread

NewChief
04-20-2010, 02:41 PM
True....but I automatically wouldn't assume that he was jerking it to the kids.

I'm not condoning his actions......but jumping to the conclusion that he was jerking it to the kids is a little off.

No, I agree with that as well, as I posted earlier in the thread.

Mr. Laz
04-20-2010, 02:42 PM
his career is over

DaFace
04-20-2010, 02:45 PM
This is going to drive men completely out of the teaching profession.


In all seriousness, WTF? This should have been handled by the principal saying, "Um, go home and do that, m'kay?" Not by felony charges.

Agree.

ForeverChiefs58
04-20-2010, 02:48 PM
This one time at band camp...er closet.

gblowfish
04-20-2010, 02:48 PM
his career is over

He has a bright future as a donor at the sperm bank.

Masturbating in the band room...well, I guess he thought he could pull it off.

It's a black mark on his record, but he's hoping to rub it out.

Frazod
04-20-2010, 02:53 PM
Dude....it's not like he was jerking it under his desk while the kids sat in the classroom.

If this guy did anything but work with kids, I'd just think he was an idiot. But that is not the case.

DaFace
04-20-2010, 02:55 PM
If this guy did anything but work with kids, I'd just think he was an idiot. But that is not the case.

Let's say for argument's sake that a guy gets caught whacking it in a production plant. Does that mean he's turned on by machinery?

I'm not saying that it's not possible that he's got issues, but it's a pretty big leap. There are plenty of people who aren't child molesters out there.

Pants
04-20-2010, 02:59 PM
Let's say for argument's sake that a guy gets caught whacking it in a production plant. Does that mean he's turned on by machinery?

I'm not saying that it's not possible that he's got issues, but it's a pretty big leap. There are plenty of people who aren't child molesters out there.

Yeah, probably like 98% of us are normal and don't get turned on by kids.

seclark
04-20-2010, 02:59 PM
i'm guessing he either thought he was safe, or was getting his jollies out of the chance of getting caught.

either way, getting busted by a used-tissue sniffing(who's also familiar w/the scent of jizz) janitor is a helluva way to go.
sec

Mecca
04-20-2010, 03:00 PM
That janitor is the creepy one.

Pants
04-20-2010, 03:03 PM
i'm guessing he either thought he was safe, or was getting his jollies out of the chance of getting caught.

either way, getting busted by a used-tissue sniffing(who's also familiar w/the scent of jizz) janitor is a helluva way to go.
sec

I think he just wanted it to do the deed in peace and quiet. I don't think the article mentions when he did it, but I'm assuming it was after the school was out for the day.

DaFace
04-20-2010, 03:03 PM
That janitor is the creepy one.

I tend to agree.

seclark
04-20-2010, 03:05 PM
That janitor is the creepy one.

he probably checks under the lunchroom tables for old boogers, too.
sec

Mecca
04-20-2010, 03:05 PM
I mean honestly what kinda creepy dude would pick up a tissue out of a waste basket and proclaim "this smells like jizz!"

notorious
04-20-2010, 03:07 PM
Evidently he had something to work out before he went home.

Gonzo
04-20-2010, 03:08 PM
I wouldn't wanna put my mouth on any instruments in that room, for sure.


Tags:

Mecca gives mouth hugs
On the other hand
Band of swimmers
Spermaphone solos
Boneaphone solos
Phallice phun
Cum sniffers unite!
Posted via Mobile Device

gblowfish
04-20-2010, 03:08 PM
Dude should have just said he was having a "Staff Meeting."
Hey, he's the band teacher. Somebody's gotta teach the kids how to Play the Organ.

For sports, he could coach pocket pool, or supervise batting practice, or pud wrestling, or munchkin punching, or teach "Hand to Gland Combat" in ROTC. Or show kids how to peel the carrot or make yogurt or spread mayo or tenderize the social sirloin in Home Ec, or how to varnish a railing in wood shop.

Chances are, because of this incident. He'll be "discharged."

Thanks, tip your waitress and try the veal. I'll be here all week.

seclark
04-20-2010, 03:09 PM
.

Demonpenz
04-20-2010, 03:10 PM
RELEASE THE DEMONS....
in the band room!

hahahahaha

Pablo
04-20-2010, 03:10 PM
his career is overDefinitely blew his professional wad.

Frazod
04-20-2010, 03:10 PM
I'm fairly troubled by the number of people who seem to think this shit is okay.

Demonpenz
04-20-2010, 03:11 PM
was he fondling himself or was he cranking it?

Pablo
04-20-2010, 03:12 PM
Agree.DaFace obviously doesn't think masturbation at work is a big deal.

Rainman, I suggest you block CP from your office computers. God only knows what he's doing with all the girly threads available here.

Pablo
04-20-2010, 03:12 PM
was he fondling himself or was he cranking it?He just was slapping on an extra thick bass string.

rockymtnchief
04-20-2010, 03:13 PM
Poor little squirts.

CoMoChief
04-20-2010, 03:13 PM
Why? I'm assuming the dude can't do it home cause of his uber-religious wife and kids so he had to resort to flogging his dolphin at his place of work, which happened to be a school. It's not like he was doing it in front of kids or anything. If dude gets 2 years for this bullshit and even worse gets labeled as a sexual deviant, this country is ****ing broken in more ways than I had already thought.

It's at school. Whether you're a teacher or student ....SCHOOL isn't a place for wreckin' your pecker.

You know what happens when a guy gets caught masturbating at school?

He gets sent to the principal's office, everyone laughs at him, and he gets labeled a freak for the rest of his school days.

I could ask Zach on here the ONE thing he remembers about a student we went to school w/ ...Jon Gordon.......his immediate response would be "that's the kid that beat his meat in class in 8th grade".

That was in 1997-98. I will never forget that.....ever, and I would bet he would say the same.

btlook1
04-20-2010, 03:13 PM
was he fondling himself or was he cranking it?

I either miss your point or don't understand but aren't they the same thing?

Pushead2
04-20-2010, 03:15 PM
my questions are, why's the janitor sniffing tissues he's pulling out of wastebaskets, and how the hell does he know what semen smells like?

sec

this....

Pablo
04-20-2010, 03:16 PM
this....You don't know what your own jizz smells like?

Mecca
04-20-2010, 03:16 PM
I'm fairly troubled by the number of people who seem to think this shit is okay.

Do you think he's going to ask you to give him a hand or something?

seclark
04-20-2010, 03:17 PM
You don't know what your own jizz smells like?

i don't, and i'm pretty cool without knowing.
sec

Pushead2
04-20-2010, 03:18 PM
You don't know what your own jizz smells like?

uhhhhh..................

Pushead2
04-20-2010, 03:18 PM
i don't, and i'm pretty cool without knowing.
sec

this....again.

DaFace
04-20-2010, 03:19 PM
I'm fairly troubled by the number of people who seem to think this shit is okay.

OK? No. I think he should be reprimanded. However, he shouldn't be charged for a crime, either.

Buck
04-20-2010, 03:22 PM
If you can't smell your own jizz then something is wrong with you.

PS it smells sort of like bleach.

Pablo
04-20-2010, 03:22 PM
I dunno folks.

I'm 23 and I bet over the last decade I've cranked the ol' hog a couple thousand times at least. And yes, I have smelled it before. Curiosity I suppose. I'd be willing to bet most human beings could identify the smell of semen. Snooping through a trash can for cum wad tissues is a different story altogether though.

Pushead2
04-20-2010, 03:24 PM
I dunno folks.

I'm 23 and I bet over the last decade I've cranked the ol' hog a couple thousand times at least. And yes, I have smelled it before. Curiosity I suppose. I'd be willing to bet most human beings could identify the smell of semen. Snooping through a trash can for cum wad tissues is a different story altogether though.

thanks for the history of you pulling the pud.

Pablo
04-20-2010, 03:28 PM
thanks for the history of you pulling the pud.You're welcome.

I really wish I could create an itemized datebook of sorts with duration of masturbation, materials used, and volume of wad, etc.

Sort of like.

June 11th, 2000. 10:38 pm. 2 minutes, 14 seconds. JC Penney's bra ad. Approx 2 oz.

Unfortunately I've destroyed most of my good masturbation memories with excessive drinking and drug abuse. If I can fill you in on anything else, let me know.

Pushead2
04-20-2010, 03:29 PM
You're welcome.

I really wish I could create an itemized datebook of sorts with duration of masturbation, materials used, and volume of wad, etc.

Sort of like.

June 11th, 2000. 10:38 pm. 2 minutes, 14 seconds. JC Penney's bra ad. Approx 2 oz.
.

ROFL & :shake: all at the same time..

seclark
04-20-2010, 03:29 PM
I dunno folks.

I'm 23 and I bet over the last decade I've cranked the ol' hog a couple thousand times at least. And yes, I have smelled it before. Curiosity I suppose. I'd be willing to bet most human beings could identify the smell of semen.

nothing wrong w/it, i guess. i'm almost 50 and been in the minority lots of times before. i don't see any reason to start a poll or anything like that. surely we can just take each others word for it, ok?
sec

Pablo
04-20-2010, 03:30 PM
nothing wrong w/it, i guess. i'm almost 50 and been in the minority lots of times before. i don't see any reason to start a poll or anything like that. surely we can just take each others word for it, ok?
secThat settles it. Somebody with more ambition than me needs to create a pole.

seclark
04-20-2010, 03:31 PM
That settles it. Somebody with more ambition than me needs to create a pole.

not in. i'm going to get a haircut, then head home for a couple beers. y'all keep your nose to the grindstone.
sec

Rain Man
04-20-2010, 03:44 PM
I mean honestly what kinda creepy dude would pick up a tissue out of a waste basket and proclaim "this smells like jizz!"


And I'd like to see the process map of how this all culminated, too.

We know Steps 1 through 3.

1. Janitor goes to empty wastebasket.
2. Janitor smells something suspicious. Say, "Hmm, smells like semen."
3. Janitor starts smelling stuff in trash can until he finds tissue.

But what next? Logically, it seems like this would have happened.

4. Janitor says, "Who would have been masturbating in here? I should tell the principal."
5. Janitor takes tissue to principal, says, "Sniff this."
6. Principals confirms semen smell.

Okay, at this point why did they decide to investigate? The odds are 99 percent that it's a student and not a teacher. So what next?

7. Janitor and principal look for tissue box that matches used sample, find it on teacher's desk.
8. Somehow, they rule out students using the tissues.
9. They look around for a private area where the act could occur, and identify the office.

Then what? Did they find other tissues? Computer porn? Stains on a chair? How did they link the tissue to the teacher without forcing an (ahem) lineup and sample collection? Did they do a CSI lab thing and test tissue rips to estimate the exit velocity, whether the perpetrator was left-handed or right-handed? Were there small stains in the office that allowed them to estimate the perpetrator's height?

10. Somehow they decide to accuse the teacher and confront him.
11. For reasons unknown, the teacher confesses? Or did they take the tissue to a CSI lab and have the DNA analyzed?

I don't understand how this went from Point A to Point B.

Gonzo
04-20-2010, 03:46 PM
I'm fairly troubled by the number of people who seem to think this shit is okay.

Dude, it's cp. What did you think would happen?
Posted via Mobile Device

Mecca
04-20-2010, 03:47 PM
The janitor probably watched him jerk it then told the principal when the teacher refused to pay him off.

Rain Man
04-20-2010, 03:49 PM
The janitor probably watched him jerk it then told the principal when the teacher refused to pay him off.

Ah. Occam's razor.


I still think it was a CSI-type investigation where they mathematically modeled spatter patterns and stuff.

Pants
04-20-2010, 04:01 PM
If you can't smell your jizz, either your sense of smell or your balls are broken.

Fritz88
04-20-2010, 04:07 PM
Someone explain why is he sniffing shit from the trash?

dtrain
04-20-2010, 04:21 PM
if masterbating in schools is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

:LOL:LMAOROFL

Pablo
04-20-2010, 04:23 PM
Someone explain why is he sniffing shit from the trash?He's a janitor...

He probably went in that office to jerk off and smelled some jizz that wasn't his.

Then he was all like..."Oh no, fuck this. I jerk off in this office. Nobody else. I know this motherfucker has a jizz rag in here somewhere. Fuck this guy, he's done here. Then I can jerk it in my own zone".

Goldmember
04-20-2010, 04:24 PM
If you can't smell your jizz, either your sense of smell or your balls are broken.

or he's never gotten a blow job and had to smell his wife's/girlfriend's breath

LaChapelle
04-20-2010, 04:47 PM
I want to know why he confessed
with a middle school full of jerks

Pants
04-20-2010, 05:44 PM
or he's never gotten a blow job and had to smell his wife's/girlfriend's breath

I know, right? I can't believe some girls reach for a kiss afterwards. Disgusting creatures. What do I look like? It's going to be a little bit before that kiss happens, sweetikins.

HoneyBadger
04-20-2010, 06:53 PM
Im not seeing a problem here....

HoneyBadger
04-20-2010, 06:54 PM
Furthermore, why would the teacher admit to this? Just say "it wasn't me".

siberian khatru
04-20-2010, 07:44 PM
Furthermore, why would the teacher admit to this? Just say "it wasn't me".

I was wondering that too. What are they going to do -- do a DNA test? Administer a lie-detector test?

Dayze
04-20-2010, 08:03 PM
If you can't smell your jizz, either your sense of smell or your balls are broken.

LMAOLMAOLMAO

I love this place.

DaneMcCloud
04-20-2010, 08:08 PM
Wow, what a fucked up situation.

The teacher should absolutely be suspended and lose his job. It's not like the guy was in a bathroom stall whacking it (which is bad enough on school property), but he was in a band room. He's obviously a sexually confused/frustrated man, which isn't surprising given the description of his life.

The janitor should be suspended for a few days as well. That's not only weird behavior but it probably violates privacy laws.

What a couple of fuckups.

And for the record, I have NO fucking idea what male sperm smells like. Some of you guys are sick.

pr_capone
04-20-2010, 08:24 PM
And for the record, I have NO ****ing idea what male sperm smells like. Some of you guys are sick.

What about female sperm? You have a handle on that? :p

HotRoute
04-20-2010, 08:30 PM
this story is one that i would only find on the CP, thanks i laughed my ass off reading this

threebag02
04-20-2010, 08:46 PM
When you reuse a tissue that has a load of dick snot in it? Does it make your carbon footprint smaller?

threebag02
04-20-2010, 08:48 PM
I was wondering that too. What are they going to do -- do a DNA test? Administer a lie-detector test?

A taste test

HotRoute
04-20-2010, 08:49 PM
When you reuse a tissue that has a load of dick snot in it? Does it make your carbon footprint smaller?

yes, but it also makes your nostrils stick together

Frazod
04-20-2010, 08:50 PM
yes, but it also makes your nostrils stick together

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ROFL

BigRichard
04-20-2010, 08:58 PM
Yeah, probably like 98% of us that aren't Catholic priests are normal and don't get turned on by kids.

FYP

KcMizzou
04-20-2010, 09:27 PM
And I'd like to see the process map of how this all culminated, too.

We know Steps 1 through 3.

1. Janitor goes to empty wastebasket.
2. Janitor smells something suspicious. Say, "Hmm, smells like semen."
3. Janitor starts smelling stuff in trash can until he finds tissue.

But what next? Logically, it seems like this would have happened.

4. Janitor says, "Who would have been masturbating in here? I should tell the principal."
5. Janitor takes tissue to principal, says, "Sniff this."
6. Principals confirms semen smell.

Okay, at this point why did they decide to investigate? The odds are 99 percent that it's a student and not a teacher. So what next?

7. Janitor and principal look for tissue box that matches used sample, find it on teacher's desk.
8. Somehow, they rule out students using the tissues.
9. They look around for a private area where the act could occur, and identify the office.

Then what? Did they find other tissues? Computer porn? Stains on a chair? How did they link the tissue to the teacher without forcing an (ahem) lineup and sample collection? Did they do a CSI lab thing and test tissue rips to estimate the exit velocity, whether the perpetrator was left-handed or right-handed? Were there small stains in the office that allowed them to estimate the perpetrator's height?

10. Somehow they decide to accuse the teacher and confront him.
11. For reasons unknown, the teacher confesses? Or did they take the tissue to a CSI lab and have the DNA analyzed?

I don't understand how this went from Point A to Point B.Worst episode of CSI ever. :shake:

Phobia
04-21-2010, 12:31 AM
Why? I'm assuming the dude can't do it home cause of his uber-religious wife and kids so he had to resort to flogging his dolphin at his place of work,

Heh. My wife is uber-religious and our b/r life is better than fine.

Pushead2
04-21-2010, 12:37 AM
And I'd like to see the process map of how this all culminated, too.

We know Steps 1 through 3.

1. Janitor goes to empty wastebasket.
2. Janitor smells something suspicious. Say, "Hmm, smells like semen."
3. Janitor starts smelling stuff in trash can until he finds tissue.

But what next? Logically, it seems like this would have happened.

4. Janitor says, "Who would have been masturbating in here? I should tell the principal."
5. Janitor takes tissue to principal, says, "Sniff this."
6. Principals confirms semen smell.



ROFL

-King-
04-21-2010, 01:52 AM
Janitor said finding the tissue was just a stroke of luck...



Seriously though...what's the point of locking the glass door?
Posted via Mobile Device

Rausch
04-21-2010, 03:10 AM
Heh. My wife is uber-religious and our b/r life is better than fine.

Prost!

http://24.media.tumblr.com/TpV5tibm3pxujn3tRuwRqpPAo1_400.jpg

Coach
04-21-2010, 05:11 AM
This thread is disturbing yet funny at the same time.
Posted via Mobile Device

Fairplay
04-21-2010, 06:05 AM
Get your 15 minutes of fame by smelling jizz, unbelievable.

BigMeatballDave
04-21-2010, 06:31 AM
I think the Janitor is way more disturbed than the masturbater

CHENZ A!
04-21-2010, 11:39 AM
I've honestly never smelled my own jizz, maybe mine is less smelly than most of you guys.

I've also never masturbated at any of my jobs, but I have had sex at a couple previous jobs. I think if I caught one of my employees beating it into mashed potatoes I'd fire them on the spot. Its just creepy, and I'm pretty open minded.
Posted via Mobile Device

Chiefnj2
04-21-2010, 11:51 AM
He should have used the "I brings the ruckus to the ladies" defense.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81qsC4wRZtY

buddha
04-21-2010, 12:01 PM
http://alternatezone.com/thebreakfastclub/images/tbc1230.jpg
I am the EYES and EARS of this institution!

Now we can add NOSE...

Never believe otherwise...

gblowfish
04-21-2010, 12:13 PM
Get your 15 minutes of fame by smelling jizz, unbelievable.

Janitor's new vanity license plate:

JZSNFF

CHENZ A!
04-21-2010, 12:15 PM
Janitor's new vanity license plate:

JZSNFF

SNFN8EZ
Posted via Mobile Device

gblowfish
04-21-2010, 12:21 PM
I think the Janitor is way more disturbed than the masturbater

I think we've found a new legal term when this is entered into court as a prosecution exhibit: "Jizzedence."

"Your honor, I'd like to enter this used tissue confiscated by the janitorial staff as Jizzedence "Exhibit A"....."

Sweet Daddy Hate
04-21-2010, 02:10 PM
my questions are, why's the janitor sniffing tissues he's pulling out of wastebaskets, and how the hell does he know what semen smells like?

sec

ROFL:clap: Repizzle.