PDA

View Full Version : Life Custody advice needed.


MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 08:52 AM
So the boys father came back into town acouple months ago. He imo is a complete doucher. Doesnt hold down a steady job, bounces from one casa to the other, lies , lies to his boy , says he will do shit and doesnt, typical BS. Says he is here to stay and that he is gonna do it right. hasnt payed a dime of child support.
Sent 5$ with a card and a pez candy thing with chewed gum on it. Talks shit to my woman.
Talked to him yesterday..he is pretty tough on the phone.

Its gonna get ugly. Goin to see a lawyer today. he doesnt have one that i know of.

The crux. I dont want the boy to get hurt, i dont really have a problem w/ him seeing his biological father if he can keep his shit clean. I dont believe he will...but i wanna do what makes his mother and i look good in the courts eyes.
I have a slight fear that if i let him see the boy he will abduct him, no bullshit.
help.

dirk digler
04-23-2010, 08:54 AM
I am surprised you haven't kicked his ass yet. Are you going soft?

kepp
04-23-2010, 08:55 AM
I would assume that if there are no current legal agreements as to custody, then you can insist that any visits be supervised (by you). That should cut out the abduction possibility.

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 08:56 AM
I am surprised you haven't kicked his ass yet. Are you going soft?

my man, i love that kid like he is my own, & his sister.

Lono
04-23-2010, 08:57 AM
When my sister in law got a divorce. She was told first to file was who got custody of kid at that time. Not sure if maybe that would go in your case or not. I would definitely get a lawyer fast. I am all for father's rights, but it doesn't sound like this guy has earned the right to even be a father.

Hog Farmer
04-23-2010, 08:59 AM
How old is the boy ?

How does he feel about his biological father ?

dirk digler
04-23-2010, 08:59 AM
my man, i love that kid like he is my own, & his sister.

I was talking about his father not the kid.

Anyway your woman needs to get a lawyer, get a restraining order if possible and get full custody if possible.

Dartgod
04-23-2010, 08:59 AM
I am surprised you haven't kicked his ass yet. Are you going soft?
Probably not a good idea when facing the possibility of a custody hearing.

Radar Chief
04-23-2010, 08:59 AM
I would assume that if there are no current legal agreements as to custody, then you can insist that any visits be supervised (by you). That should cut out the abduction possibility.

My first advice is to not whoop his ass, at least until the whole custody thing is settled.
The above would be my second piece of advice. Since youíre lawyering up demand no unsupervised visits.
Best of luck, MO.

Bwana
04-23-2010, 09:00 AM
Ouch, as bad as you want to kick his ass, or take him out in the woods on a "one way fishing trip" don't. I know it's damn hard not to, but you don't want to give the deadbeat any ammo in court down the road. How old is the boy?

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 09:01 AM
I would assume that if there are no current legal agreements as to custody, then you can insist that any visits be supervised (by you). That should cut out the abduction possibility.

Supervised was my thought aswell. He says he filled out some sort of paperwork for visitation and that it will go through ':rolleyes:sunday' whatever that means.
The abduction concerns were raised when he said. If we would let him he would take the boy, we wouldnt have to pay child support and wouldnt see him again.

The down side is that my womans family is twofaced and has been talking shit about my parenting skills. Said he doesnt think the boy should have to do chores, or do what he is told by me.
Grindin bones, but i let him do the talking....

Radar Chief
04-23-2010, 09:01 AM
I am all for father's rights, but it doesn't sound like this guy has earned the right to even be a father.

He sounds like an addict.
One of the mechanical engineers I used to work with went through this same thing with her meth smoking ex-husband.

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 09:01 AM
Ouch, as bad as you want to kick his ass, or take him out in the woods on a "one way fishing trip" don't. I know it's damn hard not to, but you don't want to give the deadbeat any ammo in court down the road. How old is the boy?


He is six. Hes a soft spirit, id like to keep it that way.

Saulbadguy
04-23-2010, 09:02 AM
It'll build character.

Pestilence
04-23-2010, 09:02 AM
I'm going to be running into the same situation in a couple of years. My wife has custody of her daugher and the ex lives in Arkansas. The dude is a drunk and a wife beater. I'm really wishing the guy would just drive himself off of a cliff so that he can save his daughter the pain of ever knowing him....but I'm not that lucky.

On your situation though....I would just be there for the kids. When their Dad backs out on doing something with them.....take them out somewhere special to help them forget. When they get older....they'll realize what an awesome step-father they really have.

Brock
04-23-2010, 09:02 AM
Disappear him. :wink:

Simply Red
04-23-2010, 09:02 AM
I am surprised you haven't kicked his ass yet. Are you going soft?

ROFL

dirk digler
04-23-2010, 09:03 AM
Supervised was my thought aswell. He says he filled out some sort of paperwork for visitation and that it will go through ':rolleyes:sunday' whatever that means.
The abduction concerns were raised when he said. If we would let him he would take the boy, we wouldnt have to pay child support and wouldnt see him again.

The down side is that my womans family is twofaced and has been talking shit about my parenting skills. Said he doesnt think the boy should have to do chores, or do what he is told by me.
Grindin bones, but i let him do the talking....

Sounds like he is talking out of his ass to me.

kepp
04-23-2010, 09:03 AM
Supervised was my thought aswell. He says he filled out some sort of paperwork for visitation and that it will go through ':rolleyes:sunday' whatever that means.

Sounds like BS to me...courts don't operate on Sundays to my knowledge. I wouldn't let him out of my sight.

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 09:04 AM
How old is the boy ?

How does he feel about his biological father ?

Im sure he would like to see his dad. Ive NEVER talked bad about him, but ive done all i can up to this point to shield him from his bullshit.

It fuckin kills me to have to hear the boy yammer on about all his dad tells him only to never see it happen.

Frazod
04-23-2010, 09:05 AM
Has this guy ever seen you? I'd think that alone would probably solve your problems.

NewChief
04-23-2010, 09:07 AM
Until the deadbeat pays some child support, he shouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Bwana
04-23-2010, 09:08 AM
He is six. Hes a soft spirit, id like to keep it that way.

Can't blame you for that Mo. I would just keep a close eye on Daddy Dearest. If you think he is going to grab the kid and jackrabbit, I would bring that up with the judge as well. Perhaps get the kid a tracking cell phone?

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 09:08 AM
On your situation though....I would just be there for the kids. When their Dad backs out on doing something with them.....take them out somewhere special to help them forget. When they get older....they'll realize what an awesome step-father they really have.

Two diffrent dads, the oldest ones pops got out of prison a year ago. Did 11 years, drugs, guns,ect.

We are sown at the hip. he doesnt pay child support either but he doesnt give us problems. Cool by me.

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 09:09 AM
Has this guy ever seen you? I'd think that alone would probably solve your problems.

yes, he has seen me. And as much as i wanna go dirty i gotta play this hand right, for keeps.

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 09:11 AM
Sounds like he is talking out of his ass to me.

I know he is. I just dont have the sum parts of his bullshit to complete the puzzle.
Im gonna formulate a game plan, & let him do all the talking.

What are my rights?

Simply Red
04-23-2010, 09:14 AM
http://i39.tinypic.com/24pxkxk.gif

Bwana
04-23-2010, 09:15 AM
What are my rights?

There is a lot of deviation, depending on specific state law. Seriously, I would leave that question up to your lawyer.

Radar Chief
04-23-2010, 09:16 AM
I know he is. I just dont have the sum parts of his bullshit to complete the puzzle.
Im gonna formulate a game plan, & let him do all the talking.

What are my rights?

Sounds like he has a history of jetting when the going gets tough. So just lawyer up and weather the storm, heíll eventually take himself out of the picture. That or his son will figure out heís a user and lose interest.

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 09:21 AM
Sounds like he has a history of jetting when the going gets tough. So just lawyer up and weather the storm, heíll eventually take himself out of the picture. That or his son will figure out heís a user and lose interest.

When they were gettin out from katrina he spent 5 hours doin coke & drinking. Came up here, bailed when things got shitty. came back and whooops guess who here?

His plans fell to shit. So i know hes pissed about that.

dirk digler
04-23-2010, 09:23 AM
I know he is. I just dont have the sum parts of his bullshit to complete the puzzle.
Im gonna formulate a game plan, & let him do all the talking.

What are my rights?

You don't have any rights but your woman does. Does she have full custody right now or what is the parental agreement?

Hog Farmer
04-23-2010, 09:25 AM
Im sure he would like to see his dad. Ive NEVER talked bad about him, but ive done all i can up to this point to shield him from his bullshit.

It ****in kills me to have to hear the boy yammer on about all his dad tells him only to never see it happen.

I understand. Sounds like you're doing the right thing. Keep the boys feelings in consideration of everything you do. When he's a little older he'll be able to see for himself. You might talk to the police just to let them know you are concerned about abduction just to have it on record. Make sure you have a ggod description of his vehicle and get tag numbers if possible so you're prepared.

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 09:26 AM
You don't have any rights but your woman does. Does she have full custody right now or what is the parental agreement?

There is none.

go bowe
04-23-2010, 10:13 AM
you are approaching this in the best way possible...

mo courts generally award joint custody unless there is overwhelming evidence of a parent being unfit...

a lawyer in your area will know the judges there and should be able to give you accurate advice and the best chance to prevail in court...

Simply Red
04-23-2010, 10:26 AM
you are approaching this in the best way possible...

mo courts generally award joint custody unless there is overwhelming evidence of a parent being unfit...

a lawyer in your area will know the judges there and should be able to give you accurate advice and the best chance to prevail in court...

wow, how are you go bowe?

BIG_DADDY
04-23-2010, 10:31 AM
Im sure he would like to see his dad. Ive NEVER talked bad about him, but ive done all i can up to this point to shield him from his bullshit.

It ****in kills me to have to hear the boy yammer on about all his dad tells him only to never see it happen.

My godson's dad was a complete scumbag but at least he did us the favor of only wanting to reunite once when he was about 5. He will never get over his dad being like that but it's better than what you are going through. In my godson's case the father really just wanted to be a part of his life for his own selfish reasons. He never really gave two shits about the kid. Chances are that's what you are dealing with right now.

Follow the advise of the attorney. Not taking matters into your own hands will only help you from a legal standpoint. Document everything right down to the hour. Go back and write down all the lies and BS from the past as best you can remember and have that available for the attorney.

As far as abduction is concerned if he really wants to do that it will be almost impossible to stop. Doesn't sound like he has the resources or the brian cells to pull it off successfully. Unless he is completely psycho you shouldn't have a problem there.

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 10:43 AM
My godson's dad was a complete scumbag but at least he did us the favor of only wanting to reunite once when he was about 5. He will never get over his dad being like that but it's better than what you are going through. In my godson's case the father really just wanted to be a part of his life for his own selfish reasons. He never really gave two shits about the kid. Chances are that's what you are dealing with right now.

Follow the advise of the attorney. Not taking matters into your own hands will only help you from a legal standpoint. Document everything right down to the hour. Go back and write down all the lies and BS from the past as best you can remember and have that available for the attorney.

As far as abduction is concerned if he really wants to do that it will be almost impossible to stop. Doesn't sound like he has the resources or the brian cells to pull it off successfully. Unless he is completely psycho you shouldn't have a problem there.

not sure what his resources are to be honest. He blows into town with money to burn. something is up....

go bowe
04-23-2010, 10:47 AM
wow, how are you go bowe?good, thanks...

BIG_DADDY
04-23-2010, 11:14 AM
not sure what his resources are to be honest. He blows into town with money to burn. something is up....

Yet he only has $5 and a pez dispenser, interesting.

jAZ
04-23-2010, 11:15 AM
So the boys father came back into town acouple months ago. He imo is a complete doucher. Doesnt hold down a steady job, bounces from one casa to the other, lies , lies to his boy , says he will do shit and doesnt, typical BS. Says he is here to stay and that he is gonna do it right. hasnt payed a dime of child support.
Sent 5$ with a card and a pez candy thing with chewed gum on it. Talks shit to my woman.
Talked to him yesterday..he is pretty tough on the phone.

Its gonna get ugly. Goin to see a lawyer today. he doesnt have one that i know of.

The crux. I dont want the boy to get hurt, i dont really have a problem w/ him seeing his biological father if he can keep his shit clean. I dont believe he will...but i wanna do what makes his mother and i look good in the courts eyes.
I have a slight fear that if i let him see the boy he will abduct him, no bullshit.
help.

Tough situation, are you looking to adopt? Isn't it the reality that unless you become his parent, or court says differently, doesn't the dad have the right to tell you to eff off and he'll do what he wishes with the boy?

Sounds like you want all the right things, and sounds like the kid would be better off with you rather than his own father. I really have no idea legally what to do (lawyer is a good next step). But my guess is that you guys are all going to have to work together to make it happen... and help the father to be better at what he does, and in the process allow him to screw up so significantly that courts are forced to step in.

Tough situation for you to be in, so close to the situation but so powerless over everything.

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 11:19 AM
Yet he only has $5 and a pez dispenser, interesting.

yup, within 6-7 months. It was a used pez dispencer,no candy except for a piece of chewed gum stuck to the head. I hid it from him untill i cleaned the gum off. didnt wanna spoil his fun.

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 11:19 AM
Tough situation, are you looking to adopt?

I was, dont know about that now.

Chiefnj2
04-23-2010, 11:21 AM
If you want your SO and yourself to look good, I'd suggest getting a mod to delete your entire account on CP. No joke. You have posts about getting into bar fights and pulling knives during the fights, etc.

Ari Chi3fs
04-23-2010, 11:23 AM
I got $30 from my biological father on my 15th birthday at my Grandma's funeral, his mom. He took all grandma's stuff she had wanted to pass down to me, and sold most for drug money and put the rest in storage and didn't pay the bill. I had last seen him when I was 5.

So, I found out he was in prison again recently... and I put $30 in his account at the prison.

I feel that I am sufficiently done with him now.

Radar Chief
04-23-2010, 11:58 AM
As far as abduction is concerned if he really wants to do that it will be almost impossible to stop. Doesn't sound like he has the resources or the brian cells to pull it off successfully. Unless he is completely psycho you shouldn't have a problem there.

I never put anything past anyone when it comes to family, particularly when talking about a drug addict. Itís not like theyíre in their right mind to begin with.

Radar Chief
04-23-2010, 12:03 PM
Tough situation, are you looking to adopt? Isn't it the reality that unless you become his parent, or court says differently, doesn't the dad have the right to tell you to eff off and he'll do what he wishes with the boy?

Sounds like you want all the right things, and sounds like the kid would be better off with you rather than his own father. I really have no idea legally what to do (lawyer is a good next step). But my guess is that you guys are all going to have to work together to make it happen... and help the father to be better at what he does, and in the process allow him to screw up so significantly that courts are forced to step in.

Tough situation for you to be in, so close to the situation but so powerless over everything.

From what Iíve seen of similar situations youíre mostly right. MO doesnít have much, if any, say in this and itís between Momma and Daddy. Thatís why Momma needs to lawyer up yesterday and get some kind of custody agreement favorable to her worked up.

dirk digler
04-23-2010, 12:06 PM
There is none.

She just needs to get a lawyer and file for custody and get a parenting plan agreement worked up.

Brock
04-23-2010, 12:08 PM
If you want your SO and yourself to look good, I'd suggest getting a mod to delete your entire account on CP. No joke. You have posts about getting into bar fights and pulling knives during the fights, etc.

I doubt there's much reason for concern with that.

JOhn
04-23-2010, 12:15 PM
From what Iíve seen of similar situations youíre mostly right. MO doesnít have much, if any, say in this and itís between Momma and Daddy. Thatís why Momma needs to lawyer up yesterday and get some kind of custody agreement favorable to her worked up.

Speaking from experience, on BOTH sides of this issue, the court will always try and allow the non-custodial parent be involved. The only way to get them to do anything different, such as taking away visitation etc, is if you can PROVE the parent is a physical danger to the child. Just because they might be a douche' or whatever is generally not enough.

Keeps doing what you're doing & be there for mom & the child. Eventually the "Dad" will burn enough bridges or just give up. And when that happens kids are smart & realize who was/is always there for them.

Chiefnj2
04-23-2010, 12:21 PM
I doubt there's much reason for concern with that.

Why?

raybec 4
04-23-2010, 12:22 PM
If you want your SO and yourself to look good, I'd suggest getting a mod to delete your entire account on CP. No joke. You have posts about getting into bar fights and pulling knives during the fights, etc.

JFC

Chiefnj2
04-23-2010, 12:29 PM
JFC

If the bio father suddenly has money and wants to dig up dirt you don't think a PI could find that info? You don't think a judge might be swayed by posts from the live in boyfriend talking about the mom pulling knives in bar fights? Photos of guns and alcohol? I guarantee you the Judge deciding the custody case doesn't live that type of lifestyle.

Brock
04-23-2010, 12:32 PM
If the bio father suddenly has money and wants to dig up dirt you don't think a PI could find that info? You don't think a judge might be swayed by posts from the live in boyfriend talking about the mom pulling knives in bar fights? Photos of guns and alcohol? I guarantee you the Judge deciding the custody case doesn't live that type of lifestyle.

The bio father, who doesn't hold down a job, has never shown any interest in being a father, doesn't have a stable residence, who has never paid child support, is suddenly going to hire detective so he can be responsible for a kid? Oh, okay.

CoMoChief
04-23-2010, 12:33 PM
So the boys father came back into town acouple months ago. He imo is a complete doucher. Doesnt hold down a steady job, bounces from one casa to the other, lies , lies to his boy , says he will do shit and doesnt, typical BS. Says he is here to stay and that he is gonna do it right. hasnt payed a dime of child support.
Sent 5$ with a card and a pez candy thing with chewed gum on it. Talks shit to my woman.
Talked to him yesterday..he is pretty tough on the phone.

Its gonna get ugly. Goin to see a lawyer today. he doesnt have one that i know of.

The crux. I dont want the boy to get hurt, i dont really have a problem w/ him seeing his biological father if he can keep his shit clean. I dont believe he will...but i wanna do what makes his mother and i look good in the courts eyes.
I have a slight fear that if i let him see the boy he will abduct him, no bullshit.
help.

Not on draft day, man.

Chiefnj2
04-23-2010, 12:34 PM
The bio father, who doesn't hold down a job, has never shown any interest in being a father, doesn't have a stable residence, who has never paid child support, is suddenly going to hire detective so he can be responsible for a kid? Oh, okay.

He said the guy suddenly came to town with money to burn.

Frazod
04-23-2010, 12:45 PM
He said the guy suddenly came to town with money to burn.

Yeah, but you can bet he'll be burning it on his own selfish interests.

My goddaughter's biological father is a piece of crap like this. When the mother's husband wanted to adopt her, he saw it as a way to get out of child support and anything else approaching responsibility and jumped at it. Hopefully MO can get this scumbag to do the same thing.

At the end of the day, I'm sure this guy doesn't care about anybody but himself.

Demonpenz
04-23-2010, 12:51 PM
I've been on alot of one way fishing trips, but I find my way back most the time

Demonpenz
04-23-2010, 12:53 PM
If that judge comes on here he is getting neg repped for sure

Radar Chief
04-23-2010, 12:55 PM
Yeah, but you can bet he'll be burning it on his own selfish interests.

My goddaughter's biological father is a piece of crap like this. When the mother's husband wanted to adopt her, he saw it as a way to get out of child support and anything else approaching responsibility and jumped at it. Hopefully MO can get this scumbag to do the same thing.

At the end of the day, I'm sure this guy doesn't care about anybody but himself.

Addicts rarely do.

Fat Elvis
04-23-2010, 01:00 PM
Is his name Chris Shaw?

That might explain why he would have money to burn....

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 02:35 PM
so he is living in a squat, off of some woman, doesnt have any furniture and wants the boy to spend the night.:spock:
Filed as an indigent, yet has his girl and 'people' helping him.

Doesnt understand how it would confuse the boy just to throw him into that situation.:spock:

Makes me think he is here to divide and conquer and GTFO w/ the boy. Honestly.

Im having my bros mom file for a dismissal to buy some time. Cause Ol' pops doesnt understand that we will contest the maintenance, and doesnt get that since he doesnt pay ANY child support he would at that point just be putting us in the rears which will effect the boys lifestyle.

Oh and other dad got locked back up. sweet.:spock:

Brock
04-23-2010, 02:38 PM
I don't understand his motivation. Why would a free spirit (loser) like that think he wants to drag a kid around with him?

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 02:40 PM
She just needs to get a lawyer and file for custody and get a parenting plan agreement worked up.

there was one, he wants joint w/ her as primary. that sound right?

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 02:40 PM
I don't understand his motivation. Why would a free spirit (loser) like that think he wants to drag a kid around with him?

He isnt very smart. he already gave up one son.

JASONSAUTO
04-23-2010, 02:42 PM
so he is living in a squat, off of some woman, doesnt have any furniture and wants the boy to spend the night.:spock:
Filed as an indigent, yet has his girl and 'people' helping him.

Doesnt understand how it would confuse the boy just to throw him into that situation.:spock:

Makes me think he is here to divide and conquer and GTFO w/ the boy. Honestly.

Im having my bros mom file for a dismissal to buy some time. Cause Ol' pops doesnt understand that we will contest the maintenance, and doesnt get that since he doesnt pay ANY child support he would at that point just be putting us in the rears which will effect the boys lifestyle.

Oh and other dad got locked back up. sweet.:spock:

tell you know a great mechanic if he needs something. i will hook you up man

Brock
04-23-2010, 02:42 PM
Kids are a pain in the ass. I predict he'll get tired of that stuff pretty quick.

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 02:51 PM
Kids are a pain in the ass. I predict he'll get tired of that stuff pretty quick.

Since he filed w/ no lawyer and as a poor person the judge will issue a gaurdian ad litem. They will take one look at his BS and say NOWAY. He either knows this and wants to get the boy, or he doesnt know. If not, he is not living in suitable conditions for visitation. family serv. said he must have his own bed,belongings, dresser, & closet.
But the woman and i talked about it and to look good in the courts eyes we are gonna let supervised visitation go down.

like i said if the guy cleans his shit up and can be a positive influence great, but i have my doubts.

cardken
04-23-2010, 02:55 PM
True to a lot of what has been said already. MY GF kids dad's are deadbeats as well. No child support from either, neither can hold down jobs or work for cash. always in trouble with the law. i have been the only father they've had for the last 7 years. and by coincidence I'm taking my "daughter" to her schools "Father/Daughter dance" tonight. Took her dress shopping last night. Do right by him and his mother, and eventually he will see who s there for them.
My son is 18 now, but his Mom has been absentee in and out for years. she loves him but she's selfish as well. She too used to promise the world, but never delivered. It has really polarized his feelings toward her. I have never promised anything that was a question it was always, "we'll see" and that always worked for us. He's one of my best friends now and respect each other, me more so then ever he will his mother, sadly.

dirk digler
04-23-2010, 02:57 PM
there was one, he wants joint w/ her as primary. that sound right?

Unless you can somehow get full custody that is probably the best you can do.

Listen I am all for fathers rights because the majority of us get fucked in the ass by the courts. But this guy makes the rest of us look bad.

JASONSAUTO
04-23-2010, 03:13 PM
my last post was actually a joke:D


honestly though my wife's ex doesnt give two shits about OUR daughter(ours because im her dad.) but he sure wants to act as though he does when we run into him or his family in public. this guy broke into her house and almost killed the wife when they first split up. weny to prison for it. got out and hasnt paid one cent in CS in 8 years. we goty together on the baby's first B-day. im the only dad she knows so it makes me mad when in front of people he cries about being "kept from his daughter". I have him though by the fact that after he broke in I one punched him in the bar two weeks later. then again on new years this year.ROFL again after hearing about how we keep him from his child. we actually let him see her at first..... right up until we drove by the house and he was gone and the daughter was with his spun out buddy. and FTR this isnt a child who can take care of herself, she is disabled, in a wheelchair, tube fed, cathed every 2 hours, etc.... so you absolutely HAVE to pay attention and be able to actually care for her. Neither of which we can trust the doper to do.

Garcia Bronco
04-23-2010, 03:17 PM
Deny all visitation until he pays the family a monthly check. Have have a lawyer do it.

Garcia Bronco
04-23-2010, 03:22 PM
I am in a simular situation. My girlfriend lives in another state. The Dad pays no child support but has joint custody with the mom. She has physical custody. He won't let them leave the state. In all fairness, he spends 3 days a week with his son. I don't want to intrude on that, but I don't want to move where they are. I want them to come here. My first option is to try to convince the Dad...who works at a Walmart to move here to Denver. Both he and his x-wife could actually accumulate more wealth here and pay down their debt faster. If I can't convince him it looks like the relationship is going to go nowhere. I could drain him financially, but that seems wrong as well. Any advice?

The reason they got divorced is because he cheated on her had another kid with another woman in another state and he does pay her 700 beans per month.

MOhillbilly
04-23-2010, 03:37 PM
i think things are about to tip in our favor.

lazepoo
04-23-2010, 03:47 PM
There is a lot of deviation, depending on specific state law. Seriously, I would leave that question up to your lawyer.

I can't overstate this point.

You're already doing the right thing legally by letting your lawyer handle it. From here out, just try to keep from saying/doing anything to this douche that could look bad in front of the courts and with any luck, everything will be resolved soon.

Without competent counsel, her ex will be out of the picture soon enough, so just keep your eyes on the boy if you're worried about him getting abducted and be mindful of how the kid is feeling. The whole situation will probably be really confusing and difficult for him to handle until he's old enough to figure it all out for himself.

FishingRod
04-23-2010, 04:00 PM
Deny all visitation until he pays the family a monthly check. Have have a lawyer do it.

That is not necessarily the "legal" case depending on the state. I'm on the other side of things Taking my X back to court again in May because she is still jacking with my visitation and Vacation time. My advice is to be civil but use spend the money and use the Lawyer.

I wish you luck , this sort of stuff really sucks for everyone.

MOhillbilly
04-26-2010, 09:54 AM
Got a lawyer, isnt gonna cost anything. Got him to agree to our terms, did the visitation. no problems, yet.

tooge
04-26-2010, 11:42 AM
So you were there? Cleaning the shotgun?

Valiant
04-26-2010, 11:50 AM
If the bio father suddenly has money and wants to dig up dirt you don't think a PI could find that info? You don't think a judge might be swayed by posts from the live in boyfriend talking about the mom pulling knives in bar fights? Photos of guns and alcohol? I guarantee you the Judge deciding the custody case doesn't live that type of lifestyle.

Well if you live in a rural county they would..

MOhillbilly
04-26-2010, 11:54 AM
So you were there? Cleaning the shotgun?

Wasnt a big deal. Guy wouldnt even make eye contact. he was 20 minutes late.

MOhillbilly
04-26-2010, 11:55 AM
Well if you live in a rural county they would..

Dont even pay any attention.

jAZ
04-26-2010, 11:59 AM
Got a lawyer, isnt gonna cost anything. Got him to agree to our terms, did the visitation. no problems, yet.

Outstanding. There might not be any reason to hope he becomes a trustworthy parent, but this sounds like a good a start to finding that out one way or another.

jAZ
04-26-2010, 12:02 PM
Wasnt a big deal. Guy wouldnt even make eye contact. he was 20 minutes late.

Good on the eye contact (shame?).
Typical and not good on the 20 minutes late.

BigOlChiefsfan
04-26-2010, 01:22 PM
No legal advice. Just keep giving the child a good example, you're doing it right. If you're really afraid of a kidnapping, you could invest in a GPS Beacon. Have him wear it or stash it quietly in his backpack every time you send him over. Luck to you.

BIG_DADDY
04-26-2010, 01:57 PM
Got a lawyer, isnt gonna cost anything. Got him to agree to our terms, did the visitation. no problems, yet.

Awesome.

MOhillbilly
04-26-2010, 02:11 PM
No legal advice. Just keep giving the child a good example, you're doing it right. If you're really afraid of a kidnapping, you could invest in a GPS Beacon. Have him wear it or stash it quietly in his backpack every time you send him over. Luck to you.

Digital recorder im gonna get. GPS i hadnt even thought of. goodidea. suggestions?
And i try and do the best with the tools i have for everyone, myself included. I know the right path starts and stops w/ me.

BIG_DADDY
04-26-2010, 03:51 PM
Digital recorder im gonna get. GPS i hadnt even thought of. goodidea. suggestions?
And i try and do the best with the tools i have for everyone, myself included. I know the right path starts and stops w/ me.

The GPS is a great idea. Good to see you doing the right thing MO

BigOlChiefsfan
04-26-2010, 04:28 PM
Afraid I haven't had to use one, it might be a good idea to do some online searching, unless we have any LEO's or security folks with an opinion. I might suggest a smallish one and start looking for a childs backpack that you can rig w/a false bottom or hidden pocket. I can find a lot of info on 'gps beacon' and 'surveillance beacon', those might be good search terms to start with. A lot of the beacons I see are just to let someone see where a car was, where it stopped and for how long - you might want to focus on 'survival' or 'surveillance' models that ping a signal rather than a device to let you see where a suspect went last week (a whole 'nuther can of worms).

|Zach|
04-26-2010, 04:51 PM
This stuff can be messy. Don't have any advice but all the best to you!

Iowanian
04-26-2010, 04:58 PM
I don't have any relevant experience or advise other than to say that I'm glad these kids have someone like you who cares enough about them to look out for their best interest and is trying to do the right thing by them.

That alone is more than too many kids can care to ask for in life.

Good luck.