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'Hamas' Jenkins
04-23-2010, 10:44 PM
<o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="State"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="country-region"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id=ieooui></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> AfCasselstan
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People like to ascribe many causes to the collapse of the Soviet Union, but one of the most overlooked is the fact that the leaders of the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">USSR</st1:place></st1:country-region> bought into their own hype. Rather than critically analyzing situations, they wrapped the reality around the propaganda. This was no more apparent than in the Soviet-Afghan War.
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The Politburo and Central Committee were largely torn on whether or not to “help” the ruling Afghan government of Nur Muhammad Taraki. Brezhnev, who by then was in his early seventies and suffering from chronic health problems, decided that it would be in the best interests of the country to spread the “April Revolution” and intervene in a civil war between Islamist Rebels and the Communist Government currently in power. But the Soviets largely shuffled their feet until Haifzullah Amin seized power, had Taraki executed, and further fanned the flames of discontent within the country with a series of repressive and Dranconian measures. What first began as an influx of military advisors later morphed into a full-scale invasion of the country once the Politburo realized that they had lost complete control of Amin and that he may be acting as a Rogue agent. [I]Spetsnaz commandos stormed one of his palaces, and killed him with a hand grenade as he dove behind a bar for cover on an upper floor.
<o:p> </o:p>
Thus began the 9+ year Soviet involvement in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:place></st1:country-region>. Rather than admit they never should have entered the country, nor intervened in its continually escalating civil war, the Soviet higher ups were so convinced that the largely tribal Pashtuns and other ethnic groups of <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:country-region></st1:place> would accept Soviet-style communism simply because it was presented in front of them.
<o:p> </o:p>
The Soviet military effort was a manual on how to fuck up a counter insurgency. Not only were their individual soldiers woefully equipped for the drastic weather changes in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:place></st1:country-region>, but much of the equipment they used was outdated, defective, or utterly worthless. Corruption and abuse were rampant within the military ranks. Senior enlisted men, called deda essentially acted as licensed torturers of the newly conscripted men, and routinely beat them, made them carry their gear, or burned them with cigarettes for simple pleasure.
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Meanwhile, the Soviets incurred heavy losses from the increasingly well-equipped mujihadeen, many of whom used advanced guerilla warfare tactics. Unwilling to remain a stationary target for a much stronger conventional enemy, they set up ambushes, always sought out the high ground, and only attacked when it was strategically beneficial.
<o:p> </o:p>
In spite of mounting Soviet casualties (which were officially listed as 15,000 for the conflict but in reality may have been nearer 50,000), the Soviet press was unable to report on the size of movements or casualty numbers. Anything larger than brigades were not to be mentioned, as the leaders did not want the public to think the <st1:country-region w:st="on">USSR</st1:country-region> was even that deeply engaged in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:place></st1:country-region>. Furthermore, reporters could not list any more than 3 deaths as a result of any one attack, again to provide the illusion of strength for the populace.
<o:p> </o:p>
The ultimate story of the Soviet War in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:place></st1:country-region> is that it was one undertaken by a paper tiger who thought that the strength of its rhetoric would be able to conquer the will of a people. The mere fact that the Soviets would bring the “April Revolution” would be, in and of itself, enough of a panacea to quell any conflicts.
<o:p> </o:p>
The reality was far different.
<o:p> </o:p>
Soviet soldiers nearly starved on the ground, and were prohibited from buying fruit and food from local merchants. Many of them resorted to brewing alcohol from jet fuel filtered through the carbon filters of their gas masks as a form of self medication. On a related note, we continue to starve our defense in a draft rich with talent at the most important positions and also those of greatest need.
<o:p> </o:p>
Similarly, Pioli’s regime seems to have the approach that merely picking retreads, coaches, and complementary players will work because it was done by them. There seems to be no effort to actually critically analyze the strengths and weaknesses of these players and scout other teams’ needs relative to their own. Several examples can be given. The fact that their draft board only contains around 100 names is one.
<o:p> </o:p>
The fact that they will almost exclusively pick players from two conferences is another.
<o:p> </o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Lets look back at the Chiefs’ last two drafts
<o:p> </o:p>
Players selected by conference:
<o:p> </o:p>
SEC: <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Berry</st1:place></st1:state>, Jackson, McCluster, Arenas, Succop
Big Ten: Magee, Asamoah, <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Moeaki</st1:city>, <st1:state w:st="on">Washington</st1:state></st1:place>
<o:p> </o:p>
All other conferences in all other levels of college football: Brown, Lawrence, O’Connell
<o:p> </o:p>
Additionally, if we go back to the free agency activity of 2009 and 2010, we see that with rare exception, the people brought into the fold almost universally have past experience with someone from the regime.
<o:p> </o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Most importantly, the inability to admit a mistake. Just like the Soviets should have left <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:place></st1:country-region> in January of 1980 and saved themselves and the Afghan people over a million lives combined, the Chiefs should at some point cut bait with Matt Cassel. There will not be a lower risk—higher reward proposition than Jimmy Clausen. His salary would have been low and his familiarity with the terminology of the offense would have been high. One could make the claim that Charlie Weis did not want Clausen, but if that is the case, why are their multiple reports that he advocated for Clausen at multiple times, and according to Chris Mortenson on the draft telecast this evening, personally gave his own stamp of approval on the Panthers drafting Clausen. Even if Clausen isn’t Joe Montana (and he’s not), if we don’t take someone who meshes so perfectly with our offense, we aren’t taking another QB. Period.
<o:p> </o:p>
Scott Pioli seems to think that drafting late round QBs is a winning proposition because it worked once for him with Tom Brady and because Matt Cassel put up good fantasy stats in 2008 when surrounded by the best skill position talent in the NFL.
<o:p> </o:p>
We have hitched ourselves to Matt Cassel. We have invested nearly countless resources (Weis, Chambers, Asamoah, McCluster, Moeaki, Jones, Lilja, Wiegmann) this offseason just for the sole purpose of helping him out, not to mention a second round draft pick and 63 million dollars.
<o:p> </o:p>
It will not work.
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<o:p> </o:p>
Matt Cassel is our <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:place></st1:country-region> and our stubborn inability to realize the futility of the situation will only further entrench ourselves as doormats of the NFL.

notorious
04-23-2010, 10:45 PM
The topic name is EPIC.


ROFL

Rausch
04-23-2010, 10:47 PM
I'm not reading all this $#it to find out Cassel has not played well...

Gonzo
04-23-2010, 10:48 PM
The topic name is EPIC.


ROFL

Yeah it is, unfortunately that's right about where I lost interest. I'm too tired to read the rest.
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Chocolate Hog
04-23-2010, 10:48 PM
There might be three good players in this draft class compared to one all of last year.

CaliforniaChief
04-23-2010, 10:50 PM
When I woke up this morning, I certainly didn't think that at the end of the day I would see the word mujahadeen connected to Day 2 of the draft in a Hamasifesto.

Well written, as always.

DeezNutz
04-23-2010, 10:50 PM
There might be three good players in this draft class compared to one all of last year.

2 for sure. Doubling up, bitches.

DaneMcCloud
04-23-2010, 10:51 PM
2 for sure. Doubling up, bitches.

First they did it with wins.

Now they do it in the draft.

In just 2 short years, we'll hit on all of our draft choices and go 16-0.

Mecca
04-23-2010, 10:52 PM
You forgot Tyson Jackson for the SEC players list, but what you wrote proves a solid point.

Count Alex's Wins
04-23-2010, 10:55 PM
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3962175/images/1236953541689.gif

Ebolapox
04-23-2010, 10:55 PM
we will never win a super bowl under pioli. I hope I'm wrong, but the shit ain't happening.

OnTheWarpath58
04-23-2010, 10:58 PM
we will never win a super bowl under pioli. I hope I'm wrong, but the shit ain't happening.

I'm thinking we won't even win a playoff game under him.

One thing I do know is that apparently we're going to take a nickle CB and trade up for a TE every year, while avoiding our biggest needs like the plague.

notorious
04-23-2010, 10:58 PM
You forgot Tyson Jackson for the SEC players list, but what you wrote proves a solid point.

He isn't listed because he really doesn't count as a draft pick.


If Hamas were to list steaming piles of waste, he would fit in nicely.

Count Alex's Wins
04-23-2010, 10:59 PM
Also, don't forget that the enemy Afghans just recruited Rambo to fight us.

http://www.antoniogenna.net/doppiaggio/film/rambo3.jpg

http://www.bustedplay.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/a4.jpg

Mecca
04-23-2010, 11:00 PM
I'm thinking we won't even win a playoff game under him.

One thing I do know is that apparently we're going to take a nickle CB and trade up for a TE every year, while avoiding our biggest needs like the plague.

It's fun to watch a guy do all he can to try to make Cassel look like he's good enough isn't it?

Tribal Warfare
04-23-2010, 11:03 PM
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this scene depicts my feelings over the 2010 NFL Draft thus far

OnTheWarpath58
04-23-2010, 11:05 PM
It's fun to watch a guy do all he can to try to make Cassel look like he's good enough isn't it?

If that's was his goal, he failed even more miserably than I thought he did.

If he's trying to make Cassel look good, passing on Benn, Tate, Williams, etc was a huge fuck-up.

But hey, why grab a legit WR when you can grab a guy that has an upside of a WR3?

And trading up - AGAIN - for a TE was criminal. Especially when you don;t even get the best one on the board.

You know what might have made Cassel look better?

Having a competent front 7 that doesn't allow 30 PPG.

Mecca
04-23-2010, 11:07 PM
Cassel's arm sucks to much to utilize a real outside WR, notice Moss.

We get the slot guy he can dump it to 3 yards upfield 100 times.

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-23-2010, 11:07 PM
That is such a perfect quote for this steaming pile of fuck.

Rausch
04-23-2010, 11:08 PM
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this scene depicts my feelings over the 2010 NFL Draft thus far

ROFL

Count Alex's Wins
04-23-2010, 11:08 PM
Let's see what the truest of the true fans make of it.

http://mbd.scout.com/mb.aspx?s=115&f=1837&t=5885444

Count Alex's Wins
04-23-2010, 11:10 PM
Kudos to Hamas for only using "fuck" once, and it was in relation to the Soviets.

In fact, that was the only appearance of profanity in his post.

He's such a nice young man.

OnTheWarpath58
04-23-2010, 11:11 PM
That is such a perfect quote for this steaming pile of fuck.

What's that?

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-23-2010, 11:11 PM
Well fellas, I'm off to the bar with the wife to meet up with my big-titted boss. Once I unsuccessfully try and persuade them into a threesome, I'm going to shove a shot glass full of gasoline up my ass and bounce up and down on a pilot light until it breaks.

'Hamas' Jenkins
04-23-2010, 11:11 PM
What's that?

Aliens.

Rausch
04-23-2010, 11:12 PM
Kudos to Hamas for only using "****" once, and it was in relation to the Soviets.

In fact, that was the only appearance of profanity in his post.

He's such a nice young man.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2100/2284835922_07a99a1fbb_o.jpg

milkman
04-23-2010, 11:13 PM
Well fellas, I'm off to the bar with the wife to meet up with my big-titted boss. Once I unsuccessfully try and persuade them into a threesome, I'm going to shove a shot glass full of gasoline up my ass and bounce up and down on a pilot light until it breaks.

LMAO

notorious
04-23-2010, 11:14 PM
Well fellas, I'm off to the bar with the wife to meet up with my big-titted boss. Once I unsuccessfully try and persuade them into a threesome, I'm going to shove a shot glass full of gasoline up my ass and bounce up and down on a pilot light until it breaks.


rofl


You are making me cry with laughter right now!


Fuck.

Pawnmower
04-23-2010, 11:15 PM
I'm thinking we won't even win a playoff game under him.


Wow you are really going out on a fucking limb.....

(Protip: We havent won a playoff game in like 15 years)

Mecca
04-23-2010, 11:16 PM
This is the executive of the decade, asking for a playoff winner in 3-4 years is not asking to much.

Count Alex's Wins
04-23-2010, 11:18 PM
The sad thing is we'll probably go 6-10 this year and people will be chanting progress.

Rausch
04-23-2010, 11:20 PM
This is the executive of the decade, asking for a SB contender in 3-4 years is not asking to much.

It does not take a decade to build a team.

It does not take a HC/GM combo 5 fucking years to win a playoff game.

It should not, and if it does you need to question who you hired to do that.

I understand it's only year two but based on what I see so far don't expect me to jump for joy and bang a fucking gong...

cdcox
04-23-2010, 11:21 PM
Cassel's arm sucks to much to utilize a real outside WR, notice Moss.

We get the slot guy he can dump it to 3 yards upfield 100 times.

It will take NFL coordinators about 1 week to figure out this scheme. We'll see defenses jumping routes for pick sixes and killing our new midget.

Pawnmower
04-23-2010, 11:22 PM
This is the executive of the decade, asking for a playoff winner in 3-4 years is not asking to much.

Then why don't we give him 3-4 years....I have seen multiple 'experts' on this board unwilling to give him 3 more seconds let alone 3 more years.

Please remember these words you spoke.

notorious
04-23-2010, 11:23 PM
It will take NFL coordinators about 1 week to figure out this scheme. We'll see defenses jumping routes for pick sixes and killing our new midget.

When they start jumping routes you have the WR's do a hitch and go route.



Then the QB hit's them deep.... Oh. Wait.

Count Alex's Wins
04-23-2010, 11:23 PM
It will take NFL coordinators about 1 week to figure out this scheme. We'll see defenses jumping routes for pick sixes and killing our new midget.

Just think, we have four more years of this to deal with before Pioli is gone.

Clark will not fire him.

SNR
04-23-2010, 11:24 PM
When they start jumping routes you have the WR's do a hitch and go route.



Then the QB hit's them deep.... Oh. Wait.:doh!::cuss:

Count Alex's Wins
04-23-2010, 11:25 PM
I really hate the Chiefs right now.

They aren't getting a dime of my money this year.

Mecca
04-23-2010, 11:27 PM
It will take NFL coordinators about 1 week to figure out this scheme. We'll see defenses jumping routes for pick sixes and killing our new midget.

See Pioli is not smart enough to realize we don't have the fear factor that is Moss, if you took Moss off NE Wes Welker would not be remotely close to what he is.

MadMax
04-23-2010, 11:28 PM
Cassel's arm sucks to much to utilize a real outside WR, notice Moss.

We get the slot guy he can dump it to 3 yards upfield 100 times.



Exciting football to be sure... This shit fascinates me in a weird way. The dump pass is soooo beautiful to watch.

notorious
04-23-2010, 11:28 PM
Exciting football to be sure... This shit fascinates me in a weird way. The dump pass is soooo beautiful to watch.

You had to jerk your dick til it was raw during the Marty years.


That fuck loves swing passes.

Mecca
04-23-2010, 11:30 PM
Our offense won't be complete till we get a Kimble Anders clone.

Rausch
04-23-2010, 11:30 PM
Then why don't we give him 3-4 years....I have seen multiple 'experts' on this board unwilling to give him 3 more seconds let alone 3 more years.

Please remember these words you spoke.

I have more faith in Pioli than Haley...

DeezNutz
04-23-2010, 11:31 PM
I have more faith in Pioli than Haley...

Who hired whom?

notorious
04-23-2010, 11:32 PM
Our offense won't be complete till we get a Kimble Anders clone.

Can we jam a pin in Cassel's thumb like Deberg? It might help, and it certainly wouldn't hurt.

Rausch
04-23-2010, 11:35 PM
Our offense won't be complete till we get a Kimble Anders clone.

Can Barry Richardson run the old Joe-Valerio-tackle-eligible play?

How good are his hands?

Mecca? Gochiefs?

Somebody get on this!

Rausch
04-23-2010, 11:35 PM
Can we jam a pin in Cassel's thumb like Deberg? It might help, and it certainly wouldn't hurt.

LMAO

notorious
04-23-2010, 11:37 PM
LMAO

It would definately help with his play-action passes. DeBerg was a God when it came to play-action. LMAO

Basileus777
04-23-2010, 11:39 PM
I'd take you more seriously if you didn't use the melodramatic analogy.

Ebolapox
04-23-2010, 11:40 PM
I'd take you more seriously if you didn't use the melodramatic analogy.

fuck it: if you've got it, flaunt it.

L.A. Chieffan
04-23-2010, 11:42 PM
If the Chiefs are the Soviets in Afghanistan, then this is ERIC MOTHAFUKIN BERRY:

http://mrt.tomzuki.com/Team%203%20Galleries/images/mi-24_hind_military_aviation_helicopter.jpg

notorious
04-23-2010, 11:43 PM
If the Chiefs are the Soviets in Afghanistan, then this is ERIC MOTHAFUKIN BERRY:


The Soviets won some battles, but they lost the war. :(


Fuck

DaneMcCloud
04-23-2010, 11:47 PM
It does not take a decade to build a team.

It does not take a HC/GM combo 5 fucking years to win a playoff game.

It should not, and if it does you need to question who you hired to do that.

I understand it's only year two but based on what I see so far don't expect me to jump for joy and bang a fucking gong...

It does when the roster you inherit is nearly completely devoid of talent and you whiff on nearly everyone in your first year.

I guess I'm in the minority but I like what the Chiefs have done so far.

ChiefsCountry
04-24-2010, 01:28 AM
Matt Cassel is the worst fucking trade in Chiefs history. It has fucked us in the ass for two drafts in row.

Count Alex's Wins
04-25-2010, 12:17 AM
Inspired by Hamas.

http://i43.tinypic.com/nyb41u.jpg

Iowanian
04-25-2010, 12:21 PM
You could have saved a lot of typing by just typing what you've been doing for 2 days...

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"

Deberg_1990
04-25-2010, 12:33 PM
Can we move this to D.C. please??

SNR
01-08-2012, 09:00 PM
Bump.

It had to be done.

Bill Parcells
01-08-2012, 09:01 PM
Bump.

It had to be done.

What is your opinion of young Hamas's thesis, Professor?

SNR
01-08-2012, 09:11 PM
What is your opinion of young Hamas's thesis, Professor?
It's brilliant. Matt Cassel has been interpreted through many lenses already-- artistically, hermeneutically, statistically, visually, aurally, and I've even posted a thought-provoking essay on Matt Cassel as Wesley Crusher from Star Trek: The Next Generation. But I've never seen Cassel's badness and AIDS interpreted geopolitically.

This is the world we live in. We live and breathe history every day. We should be more privy as a society to reading into everyday aspects of our lives through our global perspectives. The game of football is rife with these analogies and interpretations. Why not, as fans, focus our frustrations with the worst QB in the NFL through these global points of departure? Why not draw those connections? They certainly fit.

Hamas took the first step with this thread. He has done us all a great favor by doing so.

DaneMcCloud
10-02-2012, 11:47 PM
Then why don't we give him 3-4 years....I have seen multiple 'experts' on this board unwilling to give him 3 more seconds let alone 3 more years.

Please remember these words you spoke.

:D

Count Alex's Wins
02-27-2013, 06:22 PM
Alexghanistan.

Direckshun
02-27-2013, 08:08 PM
Smithya.

Thig Lyfe
02-27-2013, 08:44 PM
The Gaza Smith

Nightfyre
02-27-2013, 09:12 PM
I am going with Afghalexstan personally.