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View Full Version : Life Need a snappy comeback!!!!!


Reerun_KC
04-27-2010, 01:27 PM
My boss just told me that He hates my parents for not wearing a condom...

I for the life of me can not think of anything to come back with... I need the wisdom of the Planet!!!

Its not like me not to have snappy comeback.


Rep for all that help!

blaise
04-27-2010, 01:28 PM
Tell him you hate his mom because she forgot to give you your fries at the drive thru.

blaise
04-27-2010, 01:29 PM
Or you could say, "yeah, your mom is smarter. She always make me wear a condom when I do her."

rockymtnchief
04-27-2010, 01:31 PM
At least you weren't created by a wet spot left from a bum on a bus seat.

Mr. Flopnuts
04-27-2010, 01:31 PM
Tell him the best part of him went running down the wall.

MoreLemonPledge
04-27-2010, 01:31 PM
Or you could just tell him that it's incredibly offensive and you'll have to turn him in for harassment.

RaiderH8r
04-27-2010, 01:31 PM
Say, "The jerk store called and they're running out of you!"

Mr. Flopnuts
04-27-2010, 01:32 PM
Congratulate him on pulling himself out of the abortion bucket.

CoMoChief
04-27-2010, 01:32 PM
My boss just told me that He hates my parents for not wearing a condom...

I for the life of me can not think of anything to come back with... I need the wisdom of the Planet!!!

Its not like me not to have snappy comeback.


Rep for all that help!

Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.

RaiderH8r
04-27-2010, 01:33 PM
Fuck it, piss in his coffee.

OnTheWarpath58
04-27-2010, 01:33 PM
"Snappy" comebacks tend to lose their "snappiness" when presented 10 minutes later.

Just trying to help.

RaiderH8r
04-27-2010, 01:33 PM
Ask him, "Does the company's insurance cover your fecal encephalopathy?"

Mr. Flopnuts
04-27-2010, 01:34 PM
"Snappy" comebacks tend to lose their "snappiness" when presented 10 minutes later.

Just trying to help.

LMAO Fuck you Herm.

Dave Lane
04-27-2010, 01:35 PM
Tell him the best part of him ran down the crack of his mommas ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.

RaiderH8r
04-27-2010, 01:35 PM
"I pounded your mom's cervex last night, it was awesome. Totally destroyed it. She should really see a medical professional. I went all Ben Roethlisberger on it."

luv
04-27-2010, 01:35 PM
"Snappy" comebacks tend to lose their "snappiness" when presented 10 minutes later.

Just trying to help.

He has a point here.

LMAO

-King-
04-27-2010, 01:35 PM
Just say "your mom goes to college". It will get him.



But it won't be much of a snappy comeback if you had to wait 10 min to reply...
Posted via Mobile Device

Gonzo
04-27-2010, 01:36 PM
Tell him to go die in an aids tree fire. That always works around here.

Dave Lane
04-27-2010, 01:36 PM
Oh crap I'm repeating Como. Holy mother of god!!

Carlota69
04-27-2010, 01:37 PM
You could order him a year subscription to a gay mag (On the DL of course), like "Rump Rangers in love" or something...that way once a month this fag mag shows up and he has no answer for it...the gift that keeps on giving. :evil:

I actually did this once to some asshole I worked with--it was awesome. The whole office gave him shit every month when it came in and he couldnt explain where it came from. Good Times I tell ya.

Gonzo
04-27-2010, 01:37 PM
Oh crap I'm repeating Como. Holy mother of god!!

:shake:

blaise
04-27-2010, 01:42 PM
What you probably should done is said your mom is actually sick and it's a touchy subject and you need the rest of the day off now.

Hog Farmer
04-27-2010, 01:42 PM
Tell him you quit and he can take your last paycheck and stick it up his ass !

Dayze
04-27-2010, 01:47 PM
Say, "The jerk store called and they're running out of you!"

ROFL

love that episode

Pants
04-27-2010, 01:48 PM
Tell him you hate his mom because she forgot to give you your fries at the drive thru.

ROFL

That's good.

Hog Farmer
04-27-2010, 01:49 PM
I can put him on my shipping list if you'd like.

DaFace
04-27-2010, 01:50 PM
In what situation do you have time to post on a message board for advice before your comeback seems delayed and lame? You don't usually get time to poll the audience with these things.

Johnny Vegas
04-27-2010, 01:50 PM
tell him,

the last time you heard that you laughed so hard you fell off your dinosaur.

keg in kc
04-27-2010, 01:52 PM
I'd tell him that he doesn't get to put "mixed" as his heritage on the census just because he doesn't know which one of the 54 guys that fucked his mom that night in the parking lot outside the dairy queen was the father.

sedated
04-27-2010, 01:52 PM
Just tell him you slept with his wife

sedated
04-27-2010, 01:53 PM
"Snappy" comebacks tend to lose their "snappiness" when presented 10 minutes later.

Just trying to help.

All he has to do is call a meeting and present the guy with the same exact situation that prompted the shit-talking in the first place

sedated
04-27-2010, 01:54 PM
<img src="http://www.complaininvain.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/sein_ep813.jpg">

keg in kc
04-27-2010, 01:54 PM
Just tell him you slept with his wifeAnd that you're pretty sure now that those "cold sores" she gets aren't cold sores after all. Then ask if he can spot you some cash for the antibiotics.

Flachief58
04-27-2010, 01:54 PM
Just tell him his mother is so stupid, she threw away the kid and kept the afterbirth. Then pack your stuff and start looking for a new job. GO :arrow:

tooge
04-27-2010, 01:54 PM
tell him if it werent for condoms your cock ring would have gotten lost in his moms ass a long time ago

Simply Red
04-27-2010, 01:55 PM
wait, don't you just file a lawsuit here?

Reerun_KC
04-27-2010, 01:55 PM
Congratulate him on pulling himself out of the abortion bucket.

ROFL

Oh dear GOD that was funny!

Reerun_KC
04-27-2010, 01:55 PM
"Snappy" comebacks tend to lose their "snappiness" when presented 10 minutes later.

Just trying to help.

Understand....

soundmind
04-27-2010, 01:56 PM
Just tell him you slept with his wife

That should do it. But again, loses it's burst if not applied immediately.

Also for consideration:

1. If your father wasn't second in line, you'd have been a blowjob.
2. If your father were smarter, he'd have cum on her face like the rest of us.

orange
04-27-2010, 01:57 PM
"The man who married your mother ALWAYS wore a condom and look what it got him."

HotRoute
04-27-2010, 01:57 PM
Say they did wear a condom, I just musceled my way through

Flachief58
04-27-2010, 01:57 PM
tell him if it werent for condoms your cock ring would have gotten lost in his moms ass a long time ago
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL awsome!

Reerun_KC
04-27-2010, 01:58 PM
In what situation do you have time to post on a message board for advice before your comeback seems delayed and lame? You don't usually get time to poll the audience with these things.

I know it was an epic fail on my part. I was desperate for help... For the first time in years, I was speechless...

big nasty kcnut
04-27-2010, 01:59 PM
Tell him that when he was born his daddy slapped his momma. Then slapped the doctor.
Or tell him he's the product of his mom having sex with a ape.

Reerun_KC
04-27-2010, 01:59 PM
tell him if it werent for condoms your cock ring would have gotten lost in his moms ass a long time ago

ROFL

Reerun_KC
04-27-2010, 02:00 PM
Damn out of Rep for the Day...

Thanks all.. No lawsuit needed... Good times at my work!

Iowanian
04-27-2010, 02:01 PM
"Go Fuck yourself with a fist punch in the ass"

Iowanian
04-27-2010, 02:03 PM
Tell him you only wear condoms when you beat off at his desk.

Simply Red
04-27-2010, 02:04 PM
Damn out of Rep for the Day...

Thanks all.. No lawsuit needed... Good times at my work!

i was totally joking.

Mr. Laz
04-27-2010, 02:16 PM
i think you boss wins based on the fact that you are running to ask other people for help with a comeback. :doh!:

burt
04-27-2010, 02:16 PM
Tell him not only did they NOT wear a condom but you had to out swim millions to get right where you are now......

gblowfish
04-27-2010, 02:18 PM
Or you could just tell him that it's incredibly offensive and you'll have to turn him in for harassment.

This.

A snappy comeback would be a lawsuit for workplace harassment.
We'll see who's laughing after that.

Sofa King
04-27-2010, 02:25 PM
you can't just "comeback" after taking this much time... you need to "one up" him to show him you aren't a slow retard..

i'm thinking something along the line of a simple switch.... just place a little present under his car, and when he leaves work


http://csos.movieset.com/download/movieset/s/ekfnsl/images/9r963n-560x420.jpg



BLAMO!!!!

You win... he will no longer make fun of you....

Lumpy
04-27-2010, 02:26 PM
Don't tell him anything, just take a crap on his desk.

Gosh, this isn't rocket scientist.

ClevelandBronco
04-27-2010, 02:39 PM
You could set the building on fire.

http://www.ladyrattlerathletics.com/milton.jpg

bluehawkdoc
04-27-2010, 02:57 PM
Ask him if his wife's chin still smells like your balls. Oh, and to encourage her to gargle to remove any aftertaste.

Lzen
04-27-2010, 03:04 PM
Say, "The jerk store called and they're running out of you!"

George? George Costanza?

Lzen
04-27-2010, 03:05 PM
Oh crap I'm repeating Como. Holy mother of god!!

You should kill yourself. Now.

gblowfish
04-27-2010, 03:10 PM
Does he like coffee?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxDGUeDoDh4

FAX
04-27-2010, 03:13 PM
Do that "sticks & stones" poem.

Then weep uncontrollably for several minutes.

FAX

Lumpy
04-27-2010, 03:26 PM
First in w/ this suggestion...

http://i871.photobucket.com/albums/ab274/omaygat/gif_fightclub.gif

Pawnmower
04-27-2010, 03:31 PM
Tell him you hate his mom for always making you wear a condom, even for blowjobs.

Braincase
04-27-2010, 03:56 PM
My sig?

CarlPeterson_fan
04-27-2010, 04:43 PM
While you are coming up with snappy responses waaaaayyy too late, can someone come up with a snappy response to Whitlock for his King Carl line for me please?

Thig Lyfe
04-27-2010, 04:49 PM
Tell him he's a poopy head and he poops his pants and smells like poopy.

Bane
04-27-2010, 05:00 PM
Tell him he should get his mom some poly grip cause she left her teeth in your floor board.

Fritz88
04-27-2010, 05:08 PM
go to his office
unzip your pants
get your dick out
say hi
leave the room
fart
jerk off to Hugo Chvez

Gadzooks
04-27-2010, 05:16 PM
Tell him, in a calm voice, "I'll cut your face".
Works for me.

WilliamTheIrish
04-27-2010, 06:48 PM
It's must be tough for you trying to get 'snappy' with a 16 year old manager.

Count Zarth
04-27-2010, 09:14 PM
Ask him if his mother is a prostitute.

Rain Man
04-27-2010, 09:21 PM
Tell him you hate his mom for always making you wear a condom, even for blowjobs.


Honestly, I have to say that this is a winner.

bishop_74
04-27-2010, 11:08 PM
I'm smokin pot... I got my dick out... and I'm thinkin' about yoooooou!