PDA

View Full Version : Poop Fucking Jury Duty....


Pestilence
05-07-2010, 08:58 AM
:facepalm:

Lumpy
05-07-2010, 09:02 AM
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1ytCEuuW2_A&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1ytCEuuW2_A&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

ArrowheadHawk
05-07-2010, 09:02 AM
That sucks I just had jury duty in March.

Garcia Bronco
05-07-2010, 09:03 AM
Do your civic duty bitches.

CaliforniaChief
05-07-2010, 09:04 AM
Am sending your CP posts to the judge right...now.

That ought to do it.

Seriously, it's a good thing to do. The jury system is a good system and being in Northern California, you will probably have an excellent opportunity to put another Raiders fan in prison.

Crush
05-07-2010, 09:05 AM
I hate that movie too.

http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/2476/513xpzx0v8lss500.jpg

Mr. Flopnuts
05-07-2010, 09:05 AM
Am sending your CP posts to the judge right...now.

That ought to do it.

Seriously, it's a good thing to do. The jury system is a good system and being in Northern California, you will probably have an excellent opportunity to put another Raiders fan in prison.

LMAO

Gonzo
05-07-2010, 09:14 AM
being in Northern California, you will probably have an excellent opportunity to put another Raiders fan in prison.


Oh fucking bravo!
ROFL
Posted via Mobile Device

Jenson71
05-07-2010, 09:14 AM
It's a good thing. I'm fortunate to live in a country that views peer-jury trials as a right.

Sofa King
05-07-2010, 09:35 AM
Oh ****ing bravo!
ROFL
Posted via Mobile Device

This!

L.A. Chieffan
05-07-2010, 09:35 AM
I did mine two weeks ago. $15 dollaz a day beyotchs!!! BALLA

CaliforniaChief
05-07-2010, 09:38 AM
I did mine two weeks ago. $15 dollaz a day beyotchs!!! BALLA

Plus mileage for ONE WAY! They pay to bring you to the courthouse but not home again. My wife was a juror on a murder trial last year and got paid $250 total. Being that she stays at home and my job is flexible that was good for us...but I can see how that can create difficulties for some. And nowadays, they don't accept financial hardship as an excuse except in rare cases.

Still it's a great thing that we have and we do all have an obligation to support it, IMHO.

And yes, my wife put a Raiders fan away for life.

ChiTown
05-07-2010, 09:39 AM
I did mine two weeks ago. $15 dollaz a day beyotchs!!! BALLA

You're CAKN, PATNA!

Frazod
05-07-2010, 09:40 AM
Never been called (knock on wood). Of course, it's not like I haven't sat through enough trials in my life.

L.A. Chieffan
05-07-2010, 09:42 AM
Plus mileage for ONE WAY! They pay to bring you to the courthouse but not home again. My wife was a juror on a murder trial last year and got paid $250 total. Being that she stays at home and my job is flexible that was good for us...but I can see how that can create difficulties for some. And nowadays, they don't accept financial hardship as an excuse except in rare cases.

Still it's a great thing that we have and we do all have an obligation to support it, IMHO.

And yes, my wife put a Raiders fan away for life.

I had to sit in the courtroom for three days for jury selection and finally they called my name for a FUCKING alternate juror. I almost threw up on the fucking judge.

Sofa King
05-07-2010, 09:44 AM
I did mine two weeks ago. $15 dollaz a day beyotchs!!! BALLA

http://outofbounds.nbcsports.com/Tigergrimace.jpg

blaise
05-07-2010, 09:50 AM
I have never been called for jury duty.

Buehler445
05-07-2010, 09:56 AM
Just do it and get it over with.

Here's my jury duty story:

I'm living in Sidney and get the letter. Everyone at Cabela's tells me, "There is no way you will serve. They will settle or something. Even if they don't, you won't be one of the six, because they call in 30 people. You'll be fine." So I put the letter off and wait for the settling letter.

Fast forward. I decide to change jobs and move. So I'm in Sidney on borrowed time. It's the end of Q3 and I'm busting my ass to get all my quarter end stuff done (I was an auditor). I bust my ass get it all hammered out and actually get a Friday off! So I head home and am fixing to stay up all night and get obliterated. Then I see the letter and think, DAMN IT. I never got a settlement letter. Shit on a fucking shingle. So I get to bed at a decent enough hour to get up the next morning and have to put off the obliteration.

I arrive at the courthouse at the buttcrack of dawn. Of course they are late, so I sit on my ass, hating my life for a damn hour while they play with their peckers or whatever they are doing. Finally they pile us into the courtroom. Remember that I'm expecting to not get called and get on with my day off. The day is still salvageable. So I'm one of the 12 that gets called. That's OK, I'm still 50/50 of getting out of there.

It turns out it was a DUI case and the attourney says, "Does anyone have prior experience with DUIs or have strong feelings about DUI laws?" Turns out I was the only fucker in the county that hadn't gotten one. So I'm on the hook. Motherfucking son of a fucking cock bitch!!! Fuck my fucking life.

That's not all. So kid gets pulled over, cop gives him field test, he "fails". Breathalizer. Doesn't do it right. No reading. All on tape. Easy money, right? WRONG. Apparently there was a "problem" with the hardware and it didn't record any sound. Plus the damn field test, of course wasn't in front the camera. So I spent 2 and half fucking hours looking at the cop lights flash in the kids window and looking at the police station. And the damn trial took all fucking day.

So in the end, I bust my ass at work at a job that I am not going to be at but for 3 more weeks, get a day off, and am rewarded by spending all day at jury duty watching douchebag attorneys, punk kids, and inept cops waste my life.

It wouldn't have been as terrible if I had gotten off work, but no, It was my hard earned day off.

:cuss:

Hopefully your experience is better.

L.A. Chieffan
05-07-2010, 09:59 AM
theres only 6 people on a jury in KS?

CoMoChief
05-07-2010, 10:00 AM
Tell them you're racist.

Buehler445
05-07-2010, 10:03 AM
theres only 6 people on a jury in KS?

It was in Nebraska, and I think it was that way for the minor crap.

ArrowheadHawk
05-07-2010, 10:18 AM
You only have a 12 person jury for Felonies in most states.

CaliforniaChief
05-07-2010, 10:34 AM
Tell them you're racist.

I had a guy try that one when I was on selection and the judge basically told him that he would not be excused for that and his obligation under the law was to judge based on the facts.

Of course 5 minutes later the defense attorney tossed him.

BigRichard
05-07-2010, 10:36 AM
Just hope you never ever get called on for a federal grand jury. I am sitting on one now. 18 ****ing months I am on this jury. One week out of every month I have to go listen to several cases. I have been doing it for 6 months now and I am starting to think this goes way over the top of civic duty.

Frazod
05-07-2010, 10:42 AM
Just hope you never ever get called on for a federal grand jury. I am sitting on one now. 18 ****ing months I am on this jury. One week out of every month I have to go listen to several cases. I have been doing it for 6 months now and I am starting to think this goes way over the top of civic duty.

Holy shit - how can they do that?

BigRichard
05-07-2010, 10:50 AM
Holy shit - how can they do that?

I don't know but it f'ing sucks. I got a jury summons and it didn't say anything about it being a federal grand jury. I get to the courthouse and there is a huge room full of people. They then explain that 23 of us lucky bastards and 24 alts will be sitting on a federal grand jury for 18 months and everyone in the room is like WTF? I was the second name called.

I thought at first it might be pretty cool but I quickly changed my tune after the newness was gone. I think after month 3 I was pretty pissed about the entire thing. It wouldn't be so bad but we have not once voted anything down. It seems like a complete waste of time.

Frazod
05-07-2010, 10:54 AM
I don't know but it f'ing sucks. I got a jury summons and it didn't say anything about it being a federal grand jury. I get to the courthouse and there is a huge room full of people. They then explain that 23 of us lucky bastards and 24 alts will be sitting on a federal grand jury for 18 months and everyone in the room is like WTF? I was the second name called.

I thought at first it might be pretty cool but I quickly changed my tune after the newness was gone. I think after month 3 I was pretty pissed about the entire thing. It wouldn't be so bad but we have not once voted anything down. It seems like a complete waste of time.

How the hell does that work with your job?

BigRichard
05-07-2010, 10:57 AM
How the hell does that work with your job?

Every month they send me a summons which I then give to my employer. I actually switched jobs while in the middle of this. I told them about it ahead of time and they have been very cool about it.

Frazod
05-07-2010, 11:06 AM
Every month they send me a summons which I then give to my employer. I actually switched jobs while in the middle of this. I told them about it ahead of time and they have been very cool about it.

When I was in the Navy the various base COs had lists of jurors they would use for courts-martial, consisting of officers and crusty old chiefs, none of whom were exactly known for their soft views on crime. So for trials we'd have a few groups that would rotate cases, so these people would probably end up serving on five or six juries a year. But our jury trials were generally either for drugs or desertion, and were over in a day or two. I can't even begin to imagine how disruptive that must be.

Stevie.Wonder
05-07-2010, 11:43 AM
I have never been called for jury duty.

Me, either. I actually would like to do it.


I often envision myself as an impartial judge that would mete out fair justice. :)

Donger
05-07-2010, 11:44 AM
Get in an argument with the defense attorneys during the questioning. That's what I did last year. The judge actually started laughing.

HotRoute
05-07-2010, 11:51 AM
just say you know the guy and you are good friends with him, either that or you are a huge racist ROFL

Discuss Thrower
05-07-2010, 11:52 AM
I feel like showing up to court wearing a NORML shirt will behoove you somewhat.

bevischief
05-07-2010, 11:53 AM
I was on a Federal one last Oct. $35 a plus mileage both ways.

banyon
05-07-2010, 12:06 PM
theres only 6 people on a jury in KS?

Misdemeanor juries in Kansas are 6 person juries.

banyon
05-07-2010, 12:06 PM
Get in an argument with the defense attorneys during the questioning. That's what I did last year. The judge actually started laughing.

This is a good way to get stricken. It has the bonus of not completely pissing off the judge.

Donger
05-07-2010, 12:10 PM
This is a good way to get stricken. It has the bonus of not completely pissing off the judge.

I was actually wanting to serve on the jury (child sex offender) but I couldn't resist myself. This attorney was really not very bright and kept asking very obvious questions, so I stomped on her.

Buehler445
05-07-2010, 12:11 PM
Me, either. I actually would like to do it.


I often envision myself as an impartial judge that would mete out fair justice. :)

It was actually pretty tough for me. I was an internal auditor at the time. As per AICPA audit standards, when we draw conclusions, we have to obtain "reasonable assurance" that the controls around the process are effective.

There is a big difference between "reasonable assurance" and "reasonable doubt". It was very very difficult for me at the time to change my mindset.

Sofa King
05-07-2010, 12:20 PM
Me, either. I actually would like to do it.


I often envision myself as an impartial judge that would mete out fair justice. :)



http://www.marver.gr/pict/granitis/zimbabwe%20black.JPG


:shrug:

cdcox
05-07-2010, 12:38 PM
I served as an expert witness on a federal trial last year. I was on the stand for one afternoon, but those poor folks had to listen to a case about chicken waste for three weeks. I kid you not.

Donger
05-07-2010, 12:49 PM
I served as an expert witness on a federal trial last year. I was on the stand for one afternoon, but those poor folks had to listen to a case about chicken waste for three weeks. I kid you not.

You're an expert on chicken waste?

kepp
05-07-2010, 12:54 PM
I served on a jury a couple of years ago and it was actually very interesting. Although I only had to do it for three days. And I just got another jury notice in the mail two weeks ago.

Frazod
05-07-2010, 01:21 PM
I served as an expert witness on a federal trial last year. I was on the stand for one afternoon, but those poor folks had to listen to a case about chicken waste for three weeks. I kid you not.

People watch all these lawyer TV shows/movies and think it's really like that. It isn't. I was a court reporter in hundreds of courts-martial. 95% were coma-inducing boring, and even the ones with interesting stuff were mostly coma-inducing boring, punctuated by flashes of awfulness. Ugh.

Fairplay
05-07-2010, 01:28 PM
Tell them you're racist.


Then if they say, well it involves only people of your race.

Say "no i'm racist against everyone, understand?"

CoMoChief
05-07-2010, 01:32 PM
Then if they say, well it involves only people of your race.

Say "no i'm racist against everyone, understand?"

exactly!!!

Stewie
05-07-2010, 01:45 PM
I've been called for jury duty twice, but never served. The first one was a sexual assault case that was plea bargained just before it was to go to trial. The second was a business suing another business over a failed product launch. I knew one of the witnesses for the defense so I was dismissed. What made me mad about that was they knew I knew a witness, yet I had to sit through the entire attorney Q&A of potential jurors.

big nasty kcnut
05-07-2010, 01:57 PM
Just do what i do when i had jury duty i just only got 4 hours sleep after getting off work. So i told the judge that due to my diminish mental state i feel i can't fairly give focused attention to the case. They let me go.

Pestilence
05-07-2010, 02:09 PM
We're through 30 potential jurors............of 124 people. FML


and my name still hasn't been called.

Fritz88
05-07-2010, 03:25 PM
ROFLAm sending your CP posts to the judge right...now.

That ought to do it.

Seriously, it's a good thing to do. The jury system is a good system and being in Northern California, you will probably have an excellent opportunity to put another Raiders fan in prison.

ROFL

Param
05-07-2010, 03:28 PM
We're through 30 potential jurors............of 124 people. FML


and my name still hasn't been called.

Sounds like it's county... At least it's not federal.

BillSelfsTrophycase
05-07-2010, 03:31 PM
I did mine two weeks ago. $15 dollaz a day beyotchs!!! BALLA


Cakn Patna!

-King-
05-07-2010, 03:40 PM
You're an expert on chicken waste?

:LOL::LOL::LOL:

Mr. Flopnuts
05-07-2010, 03:50 PM
Take one look at the defendant and tell the attorney that he just looks guilty. You're done.

L.A. Chieffan
05-07-2010, 03:53 PM
Take one look at the defendant and tell the attorney that he just looks guilty. You're done.

I said I love cops and would never ever believe that they would lie under oath.

Defense attorney dismissed me in 5 seconds.

-King-
05-07-2010, 03:55 PM
I said I love cops and would never ever believe that they would lie under oath.

Defense attorney dismissed me in 5 seconds.

Lmao I was about to suggest the same thing.

Mr. Flopnuts
05-07-2010, 03:58 PM
Walk in naked holding a sign over your genitals that says "I hate black people." This can be particularly effective if you're African American.

mlyonsd
05-07-2010, 04:49 PM
I was on jury duty last year for 6 months. Had to call in every weekend to see if I needed to report.

Since South Dakota is mostly made up of law abiding citizens I only had to report once. They were doing a medical lawsuit case that was supposed to last a week. The list of witnesses had at least 12 doctors on it.

Praise the lord they picked a jury before my name was called to go up and get interviewed. 5 days of medical testimony? Jeesh.

Pestilence
05-07-2010, 04:56 PM
I got picked.......JFC.

And just to show you how long it's going to be without giving away to much.......it's a fucking murder trial.

Mr. Flopnuts
05-07-2010, 04:57 PM
I got picked.......JFC.

And just to show you how long it's going to be without giving away to much.......it's a fucking murder trial.

Your job will pay your salary while you're on duty right?

mlyonsd
05-07-2010, 05:03 PM
I got picked.......JFC.

And just to show you how long it's going to be without giving away to much.......it's a ****ing murder trial.

Wow. I can't wait to hear some details after the trial is over.

alnorth
05-07-2010, 05:04 PM
I got picked.......JFC.

And just to show you how long it's going to be without giving away to much.......it's a ****ing murder trial.

Wow...

Well, I hate to say it, but it is now almost 100% certain that the defendant is a Raider fan. You have a solemn duty to sit on that jury.

HC_Chief
05-07-2010, 05:35 PM
Here's how to get out of jury duty...

<object width="500" height="405"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/AzusuXSj8Y0&hl=en_US&fs=1&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/AzusuXSj8Y0&hl=en_US&fs=1&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="405"></embed></object>

CrazyPhuD
05-07-2010, 07:20 PM
I got picked.......JFC.

And just to show you how long it's going to be without giving away to much.......it's a fucking murder trial.

Well if you go out and kill some one tonight I'm fairly sure you'll get out of jury duty for being biased. :shrug:

Param
05-07-2010, 07:26 PM
it's a fucking murder trial.

this thread just got interesting

Pablo
05-07-2010, 07:30 PM
Wow...

Well, I hate to say it, but it is now almost 100% certain that the defendant is a Raider fan. You have a solemn duty to sit on that jury.Yep, lock that cocksucking Fade piece of shit up and hide the key in a library(so no other Raiders fans will ever find it).

Mr. Flopnuts
05-07-2010, 07:33 PM
I would've wore a shirt into the court room that said "Denver sucks, but Oakland swallows."

Renegade
05-07-2010, 07:34 PM
You're an expert on chicken waste?

Little known facts that CP wouldn't believe

notorious
05-07-2010, 07:40 PM
What happens if you flat out never receive or open a letter asking you to do Jury duty?

I have never been called, but I might have and just didn't know it.

CaliforniaChief
05-07-2010, 07:44 PM
Pest did you disclose that you are a closet drafturbator?

notorious
05-07-2010, 07:47 PM
Pest did you disclose that you are a closet drafturbator?

****, all that he has to do is hand the attoneys the Chiefsplanet home address with his screen name and they have escorted him out of the courtroom in no-time.

banyon
05-07-2010, 08:13 PM
I got picked.......JFC.

And just to show you how long it's going to be without giving away to much.......it's a ****ing murder trial.

Make certain you leave out any further details.

Don't discuss the case any further, particularly where there will be a permanent internet record of your discussion. You never know who is reading or what Google spider might pick up a key word or phrase.

You don't want to wind up with a contempt citation to add to your jury duty.

After the case is done, everything is fair game.

CrazyPhuD
05-07-2010, 08:14 PM
What happens if you flat out never receive or open a letter asking you to do Jury duty?

I have never been called, but I might have and just didn't know it.

unless they can actually prove that you received the notice there is really nothing they can do. In a number of places if you ignore them long enough they'll send it certified mail. Generally ignoring it would only work if you're a renter that moves around often.

notorious
05-07-2010, 08:15 PM
unless they can actually prove that you received the notice there is really nothing they can do. In a number of places if you ignore them long enough they'll send it certified mail. Generally ignoring it would only work if you're a renter that moves around often.

Cool. Thanks.


Plausible Deniablility is my friend.

banyon
05-07-2010, 08:15 PM
What happens if you flat out never receive or open a letter asking you to do Jury duty?

I have never been called, but I might have and just didn't know it.

In our county, the judge issues a notice for you to show up and explain to him why you weren't there. You'll be personally served with that (called a "show cause" hearing).

If you want to ignore that and not show up, then there will be a warrant for your arrest for contempt for not following court orders, then you'll get to explain it in cuffs, maybe with a hefty fine or 30 day jail sanction if your excuse is lame enough.

notorious
05-07-2010, 08:16 PM
In our county, the judge issues a notice for you to show up and explain to him why you weren't there. You'll be personally served with that (called a "show cause" hearing).

If you want to ignore that and not show up, then there will be a warrant for your arrest for contempt for not following court orders.

Holy God Banyon, you are in DC?

PM coming.

banyon
05-07-2010, 08:20 PM
Holy God Banyon, you are in DC?

PM coming.

Well sh*t yeah. You're in our district. How about that? That's precisely what will happen if you ignore a notice. You got exact legal advice there buddy. LMAO

notorious
05-07-2010, 08:23 PM
Well sh*t yeah. You're in our district. How about that? That's precisely what will happen if you ignore a notice. You got exact legal advice there buddy. LMAO

Thanks. It is something I have always been curious about.


If it ever comes up, maybe I can get out of jury duty since I know Judge Love fairly well. Wishful thinking LMAO.

LaChapelle
05-07-2010, 09:33 PM
Demand to be paid in cabbage worms

Count Zarth
05-07-2010, 09:40 PM
Wonder if there are ever hot chicks on jury duty.

You should hit on them, try to hook up.

They can't escape!

Buehler445
05-07-2010, 10:37 PM
Goddamn Pest. You should have read the advice on this thread before your name got called.
Posted via Mobile Device

Pestilence
05-09-2010, 09:01 PM
Your job will pay your salary while you're on duty right?

Yes....yes they do.

Wow. I can't wait to hear some details after the trial is over.

Once it's over....everyone will.

Pest did you disclose that you are a closet drafturbator?

FUCK! I knew I forgot to mention something.

Make certain you leave out any further details.

Don't discuss the case any further, particularly where there will be a permanent internet record of your discussion. You never know who is reading or what Google spider might pick up a key word or phrase.

You don't want to wind up with a contempt citation to add to your jury duty.

After the case is done, everything is fair game.

Oh....I definitely know that. Nothing else will be said until this is all over with.

Ugly Duck
05-10-2010, 12:21 AM
Now there's a conundrum... we have a right to be tried by a jury of our peers, but our peers don't want to sit on the jury.

Rain Man
05-10-2010, 09:27 AM
Wonder if there are ever hot chicks on jury duty.

You should hit on them, try to hook up.

They can't escape!



"Sleep with me or I recommend the death penalty for that guy."


"Y'know, with me you've already got a hung jury."


"Hey, Juror #9. I'm Juror #7. Do you want to make Juror #6 afraid of me?"

Pestilence
06-04-2010, 09:26 AM
Well....just in case anyone cares.....I'll show you a couple of the articles about the trial. I was on the second defendant's trial......the guy named Combs.

A Suisun City man arrested following the fatal 2008 shooting of young Fairfield City Councilman Matt Garcia was found guilty of murder Thursday in Solano County Superior Court.

After roughly 10 hours of deliberation, a 10-man, two-woman jury on Thursday afternoon found 46-year-old Gene Allen Combs guilty of second-degree murder for his role in the Garcia slaying.

Superior Court Judge Robert S. Bowers subsequently set 8:30 a.m. July 19 for judgment and sentencing in the matter. Combs faces a maximum sentence of 15 years to life in state prison.

In a separate trial last week, Combs' former co-defendant, 33-year-old Henry Don Williams of Fairfield, was found guilty of first-degree murder with personal use of a firearm in the councilman's Labor Day death. Believed to have been the triggerman, Williams faces a maximum sentence of 50 years to life in prison.

After the verdict was read, Garcia's mother, Teresa Courtemanche, said she felt that courts had fulfilled their mission.

"We continue to believe that the justice system works," she said. "We thank the jury for doing everything they had to do to reach their verdict."

Stepfather Ray Courtemanche said the slain councilman's family and friends would continue working to make Fairfield the kind of town Matt Garcia believed in.

"He embodied stepping up to the plate and it's important for us to be representative of the city we believe in, and that's Fairfield," Ray Courtemanche said. "Fairfield first, guaranteed."

Teresa Courtemanche said the young councilman's dream for his community would be fulfilled.

"We want to continue doing what Matt was doing -- supporting our youth, stopping crime and strengthening our community," she said.

The councilman's father, Matt Garcia Sr., said he, too, was gratified by the jury's verdict.

"I'm feeling really good about the decision. Justice has prevailed," he said. "I just hope we'll be able to get on with our lives again."

Testimony offered during the back-to-back murder trials of Williams and Combs indicated that Matt Garcia was, unwittingly, in the wrong place at the wrong time when the two defendants went hunting for a Cordelia drug dealer who cheated Combs in a $50 methamphetamine buy.

The pair were being driven down Silverado Drive in Cordelia by Williams' pregnant girlfriend, Nicole Stewart, the evening of Sept. 1, 2008, when Garcia drove past them in his Cadillac CTS. Williams apparently mistook Garcia's car for that of the neighborhood drug dealer. According to testimony, he told Stewart to stop, then climbed out of his car and began firing a semi-automatic .22-caliber pistol into the darkness.

At least eight shots were fired and one struck Garcia as he stood on the sidewalk talking to a friend. He later died in a Walnut Creek medical center.

Combs admitted telephoning the drug dealer after the shooting and stating, "The bullets down the street were meant for you."

Buck
08-01-2013, 09:20 AM
I have jury duty today and I spilled my god damn coffee all over myself right when I got here.

Flybone McTimmerson
08-01-2013, 09:46 AM
I have jury duty today and I spilled my god damn coffee all over myself right when I got here.

Be sure to get a pretzel burger from that nice little pub across the street.

Frazod
08-01-2013, 09:50 AM
I have jury duty today and I spilled my god damn coffee all over myself right when I got here.

Mention the spill and blame it on somebody who's the same ethnicity as the defendant.

sd4chiefs
08-01-2013, 09:56 AM
My "friend" has been doing Federal Grand Jury Duty that was suppose to end after 18 months last week but they extended it for another 6 months so everyone needs to stop crying about doing Jury Duty.

Frazod
08-01-2013, 10:19 AM
My "friend" has been doing Federal Grand Jury Duty that was suppose to end after 18 months last week but they extended it for another 6 months so everyone needs to stop crying about doing Jury Duty.

Holy God. How can they do that?

theelusiveeightrop
08-01-2013, 10:25 AM
Ask them how long this will take. The radio waves are interfering with your thought process.

ReynardMuldrake
08-01-2013, 10:52 AM
Now there's a conundrum... we have a right to be tried by a jury of our peers, but our peers don't want to sit on the jury.

I've actually always wanted to be on a jury, but never been called. I think it would be a great way to help out others, and a lot of fun. If there was a place to sign up I would volunteer.

Frazod
08-01-2013, 10:55 AM
I've actually always wanted to be on a jury, but never been called. I think it would be a great way to help out others, and a lot of fun. If there was a place to sign up I would volunteer.

It's generally boring as shit and/or depressing.

Pestilence
08-01-2013, 10:57 AM
It's generally boring as shit and/or depressing.

This.

You're either going to get a case that is boring as fuck......or you'll get one that will fuck with you.

Frazod
08-01-2013, 11:06 AM
This.

You're either going to get a case that is boring as fuck......or you'll get one that will fuck with you.

I despised being a court reporter and working criminal in general. The minor stuff was just boring. But the bigger cases dealing with really bad things were mostly boring, punctuated by times of pure awfulness. You've got the accused, the accused's family members, the victim, the victim's family members, all of them with their lives in turmoil endlessly pissing and moaning. And multiply the suck factor by 1,000 if you're dealing with children. Just horrible.

You need to be able to tune out human suffering or thrive on it. I couldn't do either.

J Diddy
08-01-2013, 11:07 AM
Ask them how long this will take. The radio waves are interfering with your thought process.

I usually start spanking it when they ask me my name. Gets me outta there pretty quick.

Pestilence
08-01-2013, 11:18 AM
I despised being a court reporter and working criminal in general. The minor stuff was just boring. But the bigger cases dealing with really bad things were mostly boring, punctuated by times of pure awfulness. You've got the accused, the accused's family members, the victim, the victim's family members, all of them with their lives in turmoil endlessly pissing and moaning. And multiply the suck factor by 1,000 if you're dealing with children. Just horrible.

You need to be able to tune out human suffering or thrive on it. I couldn't do either.

I don't think that I'd ever have to sit on a trial for anything to do with a child. I'd easily tell them that I have 3 kids and that anyone who fucks with kids needs to fry. Pretty sure I'd get off on that one.

The worst thing about jury duty in my mind? Sitting in a closed room with 11 other people....some of them being complete fucking idiots.

ct
08-01-2013, 11:27 AM
Only got 1 thing to say, beyond a reasonable doubt DOES NOT mean beyond a shadow of doubt!

Bwana
08-01-2013, 01:02 PM
My "friend" has been doing Federal Grand Jury Duty that was suppose to end after 18 months last week but they extended it for another 6 months so everyone needs to stop crying about doing Jury Duty.

Yeah I don't think so. I think I would send them a picture of my ass and a tube of lipstick and let them figure it out. 2 YEARS of that crap, nope.

Bwana
08-01-2013, 01:04 PM
It's generally boring as shit and/or depressing.

Yes it is. Picture the worst teacher you have ever had in the boring department, take that times three and you're getting close.

theelusiveeightrop
08-01-2013, 01:44 PM
I usually start spanking it when they ask me my name. Gets me outta there pretty quick.

Instant section 8.

Baby Lee
08-02-2013, 12:23 AM
Instant section 8.

Subsidized housing?