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View Full Version : Life I have an odd question to ask CPers of faith:


Frankie
05-09-2010, 12:20 PM
OK bear with me here. This is gonna sound like a poop thread at first, but I am sincerely curious. Also no trivializing of a tragedy is intended:

I was just on the poop seat doing my business and reading my Sunday paper. I was horrified to read about this family who lost their 5 year old on Friday and their 5 month old on Saturday due to a car crash last Thursday. I have said many times that I am not a believer in "religion" but a believer in "God." Upon reading the tragic news I felt like praying to God immediately for this family and the little victims. I caught myself talking to God while I was doing the No. 2! I then felt that I was disrespectful to God because of the location of my prayer. The question:

1- Was I out of line?
2- Should I think God does not mind where and when you send a prayer his way?

The former stems from traditional teachings and practices that emphasize being disrespectful to God. The latter stems from plain logic.

It is a slow time of the year regarding Chiefs and Football. So let's discuss this. Again I have no reason, other than my own initial curiosity about my prayer location, to post this and I hope this will not turn into a bashing fest between the Atheists and the religious amongst us.

What do you think?

milkman
05-09-2010, 12:26 PM
Who gives a shit?

Frankie
05-09-2010, 12:28 PM
Who gives a shit?

I did. In more ways than one.

Gonzo
05-09-2010, 12:29 PM
I wish Simplex was here now, more than ever. He would be all over this.
Posted via Mobile Device

Chiefs Rool
05-09-2010, 12:31 PM
no sir, praising God when you felt it was right is no problem with the big man upstairs.

milkman
05-09-2010, 12:33 PM
I wish Simplex was here now, more than ever. He would be all over this.
Posted via Mobile Device

Simplex can go suck his mother's dick, for all I care.

Rain Man
05-09-2010, 12:37 PM
Given the volume of prayers he gets, I'm sure God takes a lot while he's on the toilet. So I suspect he's pretty understanding of your situation.

Mr Luzcious
05-09-2010, 12:37 PM
Number 2.

Rain Man
05-09-2010, 12:38 PM
Also, I should add that the traditional God of most religions would view this as a marketing opportunity by doing something like putting a large nugget of gold inside one of your "deliveries". If you have faith, you'll excavate and find it, and achieve great wisdom in the process.

Predarat
05-09-2010, 12:44 PM
If there is a God, God made us human and humans shit. So in my book you are OK.

HIChief
05-09-2010, 12:49 PM
God looks at our hearts. So, what you happen to be doing at the moment you feel prompted to engage Him is not particularly important.

DaFace
05-09-2010, 12:51 PM
Who gives a shit?

I believe this expresses my sentiment well.

kysirsoze
05-09-2010, 12:56 PM
I'd be surprised if anyone honestly comes in here saying you shouldn't have prayed. Other than the strictest of traditionalists, most religious people I know consider prayer a "more is better, no matter what" sort of deal.

BillSelfsTrophycase
05-09-2010, 12:58 PM
I'm sure God would rather you pray on the can than not pray at all

LaChapelle
05-09-2010, 01:01 PM
You've got it pretty good
Some people are thankful that God supplied them with something to make poop

Fritz88
05-09-2010, 01:16 PM
you were sincere, you seized the moment.

Bane
05-09-2010, 01:17 PM
Simplex can go suck his mother's dick, for all I care.

ROFL
Fukkn hell man!!!!!ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

Gonzo
05-09-2010, 01:26 PM
ROFL
Fukkn hell man!!!!!ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

Yeah, from what I gather there, Milkman does not care for Simplex all that much. I must have missed a thread. I always liked him, but then I pretty much like everyone here.

(Except for that Scorpio guy, he and I don't get along too well. I mean, I don't dislike him but I don't really like him either. I guess you could say that I'm rather indifferent when it comes to Scorpio.)

Oh, and that bane guy's cool in my book. He always gives me a lot of rep. I think he "likes me, likes me" if you know what I mean.

Wait, what are we talking about?
Oh, that's right. A religious dump. Hey Frankie, was the poo in question shaped like Mother Theresa, or any other religious figure by chance? If it was, you'll have your answer.
Posted via Mobile Device

BossChief
05-09-2010, 01:28 PM
frankie, you cant be serious.

Bane
05-09-2010, 01:34 PM
Yeah, from what I gather there, Milkman does not care for Simplex all that much. I must have missed a thread. I always liked him, but then I pretty much like everyone here.

(Except for that Scorpio guy, he and I don't get along too well. I mean, I don't dislike him but I don't really like him either. I guess you could say that I'm rather indifferent when it comes to Scorpio.)

Oh, and that bane guy's cool in my book. He always gives me a lot of rep. I think he "likes me, likes me" if you know what I mean.

Wait, what are we talking about?
Oh, that's right. A religious dump. Hey Frankie, was the poo in question shaped like Mother Theresa, or any other religious figure by chance? If it was, you'll have your answer.
Posted via Mobile Device

Personally I don't have a prob with anyone on here.I take it for exactly what it is.Internet bullshit!!!! Anyway,pray when you want Frankie.:thumb:

Gonzo
05-09-2010, 01:37 PM
frankie, you cant be serious.
Confucious say:

He who prays on toilet, sits in pew.
Posted via Mobile Device

Gonzo
05-09-2010, 01:38 PM
Personally I don't have a prob with anyone on here.I take it for exactly what it is.Internet bullshit!!!! Anyway,pray when you want Frankie.:thumb:

Fukkin a-right.
:)
Posted via Mobile Device

Stewie
05-09-2010, 01:57 PM
Did you at least do a mercy flush?

redsurfer11
05-09-2010, 02:18 PM
Does your toilet face the west?

Crush
05-09-2010, 03:02 PM
frankie, you cant be serious.


He is serious and don't call him Frankie.

warpaint*
05-09-2010, 03:07 PM
OK bear with me here. This is gonna sound like a poop thread at first, but I am sincerely curious. Also no trivializing of a tragedy is intended:

I was just on the poop seat doing my business and reading my Sunday paper. I was horrified to read about this family who lost their 5 year old on Friday and their 5 month old on Saturday due to a car crash last Thursday. I have said many times that I am not a believer in "religion" but a believer in "God." Upon reading the tragic news I felt like praying to God immediately for this family and the little victims. I caught myself talking to God while I was doing the No. 2! I then felt that I was disrespectful to God because of the location of my prayer. The question:

1- Was I out of line?
2- Should I think God does not mind where and when you send a prayer his way?

The former stems from traditional teachings and practices that emphasize being disrespectful to God. The latter stems from plain logic.

It is a slow time of the year regarding Chiefs and Football. So let's discuss this. Again I have no reason, other than my own initial curiosity about my prayer location, to post this and I hope this will not turn into a bashing fest between the Atheists and the religious amongst us.

What do you think?

God judges the thoughts and intentions of the heart and wants to have a personal relationship with you. If the prayer is sincere the rest is academic. What you have described sounds real and genuine.

bowener
05-09-2010, 03:53 PM
FWIW, Martin Luther is credited with writing or at least thinking of the majority of his 95 theses while trying to make feces.

He was horribly constipated and believed there was a demon in his bowels.

I don't think he felt god cared too much that he was on the toilet while thinking about him.

bevischief
05-09-2010, 04:53 PM
Where do you think the Pope talks to him the most?

Ebolapox
05-09-2010, 04:59 PM
Simplex can go suck his mother's dick, for all I care.

what happened to simplex?

Frankie
05-09-2010, 05:02 PM
I'd be surprised if anyone honestly comes in here saying you shouldn't have prayed. Other than the strictest of traditionalists, most religious people I know consider prayer a "more is better, no matter what" sort of deal.

That's it though. If you go by the "fundamental" teachings of all religions, you have to be in a cleansed form and in a respectful place to pray to God. Certainly in Islam. I was just curious to know how deeply that particular teaching is accepted among people who practice their faith.

Frankie
05-09-2010, 05:04 PM
Wait, what are we talking about?
Oh, that's right. A religious dump. Hey Frankie, was the poo in question shaped like Mother Theresa, or any other religious figure by chance?

ROFL

Check E-Bay, dude.

Frankie
05-09-2010, 05:06 PM
frankie, you cant be serious.

Somewhat serious. Totally curious.

Frankie
05-09-2010, 05:07 PM
Confucious say:

He who prays on toilet, sits in pew.
Posted via Mobile Device

ROFL :clap:

KCBOSS1
05-09-2010, 05:24 PM
I Thess 5 says "pray without ceasing, for this is the will of God for you.." Anytime, anywhere, just go on-line and don't go offline. He designed the whole #2 process, I think He's good with it.

Ebolapox
05-09-2010, 05:26 PM
why is god always a 'he?' why not she? it? they?

KCBOSS1
05-09-2010, 05:33 PM
why is god always a 'he?' why not she? it? they?

He is He, She and it. "He" is proper English, not an attempted provoking of feminism or gender argument.

Frankie
05-09-2010, 05:33 PM
why is god always a 'he?' why not she? it? they?

Jesus referred to him as "Father."

Ebolapox
05-09-2010, 05:37 PM
Jesus referred to him as "Father."

insofar as he had a mother but no human father (theoretically), it may be appropriate to call the deity where you got half of your genetics (22 chromosomes and one Y chromosome) 'father.'

I mean, if we're gonna be absurd, may as well go the whole monty.

KCBOSS1
05-09-2010, 05:46 PM
Oh, no don't get me wrong. I agree. I'm not trying to confuse the issue. But God is God and bigger than a gender argument. Jesus was obviously a "He" and is also God. The Holy Spirit is on the earth and is also God and referred to as "He" in the Bible, so He is a "they" too; Trinity thing. Not trying to confuse the issue, but the conversation was more fun when we were talking about praying on the toilet.

FAX
05-09-2010, 06:16 PM
I can certainly understand how people would feel as though any prayer is a good prayer, regardless of the timing or circumstances. But, I'm not sure I would strike up a conversation with God whilst mid poop, Mr. Frankie.

The last thing you want is an omnipotent, all powerful being taking offense at your actions. We are insignificant specks compared to Him and it would be extremely easy for the Lord Of Hosts to snap His Glorious Fingers and cause you to instantly crap out your large intestine all the way to the ileum which would mean, of course, you would have to show up at the emergency room with your intestines in a grocery bag. Look at Moses, for example. He had everything. Girls. Wealth. Good looks. A chance at his own pyramid. One day he was next in line for Pharaoh, then he prays while on the crapper, and the next thing you know he's wandering in the desert for 40 years with a bunch of pissed-off Jews constantly hounding his sorry ass for more Manna.

FAX

Ugly Duck
05-09-2010, 06:59 PM
I'm not sure I would strike up a conversation with God whilst mid poop, Mr. Frankie.

Even if God doesn't smack on Frankie, the Taliban might be coming after him for blasphemy if they read his post. He'd better hope that no Taliban are also Chiefs fans - this could get ugly.

Rudy lost the toss
05-09-2010, 07:00 PM
I wish Simplex was here

:shake:

Hog Farmer
05-09-2010, 07:09 PM
God made you take that shit just so you would take the time to read about that family and then ultimately say prayer. He knows what he's doing and if the only way he can entice you to pray is by making you take a dump then so be it.

milkman
05-09-2010, 07:28 PM
God made you take that shit just so you would take the time to read about that family and then ultimately say prayer. He knows what he's doing and if the only way he can entice you to pray is by making you take a dump then so be it.

So you're saying God wanted Frankie to dump all his problems on him?

Mr. Flopnuts
05-09-2010, 07:36 PM
Some of my greatest revelations have come during deuce time. I have no doubt that God talks to me while I'm exporting a Pringles can. Why shouldn't I reciprocate? Wouldn't it be rude to not answer when someone is speaking to you? Is it rude to speak to someone else while they are doing doody?

Mr. Flopnuts
05-09-2010, 07:36 PM
It's your doody Judy!

Ebolapox
05-09-2010, 07:46 PM
Some of my greatest revelations have come during deuce time. I have no doubt that God talks to me while I'm exporting a Pringles can. Why shouldn't I reciprocate? Wouldn't it be rude to not answer when someone is speaking to you? Is it rude to speak to someone else while they are doing doody?

you shit pringles cans? dude, your farts must wh00000sh out rather than rip out like normal guys' farts. are you saying your asshole is pringle shaped? WAY too much freaking information.

I mean, damn. that's some impressive shitting.

FAX
05-09-2010, 07:50 PM
It may be so, Mr. Mr. Flopnuts. However, why take the chance?

I say avoid potential conflict with God at all costs. The last thing you want to do is go toe to toe with an omnipotent Dude who can send one, single angel down to slay 185,000 Assyrians in one night. If God can do that, imagine what He could do with one guy, a commode, and a bottle of Ipecac syrup.

FAX

Braincase
05-09-2010, 08:01 PM
I bet a lot of constipated people pray on the can.

ILWarpaint
05-09-2010, 09:18 PM
I am curious as to what you were praying about exactly. Were you asking why "God" let these children be taken from their family? Or something else? Just curious.

acesn8s
05-09-2010, 09:30 PM
Holy Shit!

"Bob" Dobbs
05-09-2010, 09:31 PM
This really should've been the first official DC poop thread.

Frankie
05-09-2010, 09:33 PM
But God is God and bigger than a gender argument.

This.

Frankie
05-09-2010, 09:34 PM
...but the conversation was more fun when we were talking about praying on the toilet.This too. It was really meant as a cultural curiosity.

Frankie
05-09-2010, 09:38 PM
I can certainly understand how people would feel as though any prayer is a good prayer, regardless of the timing or circumstances. But, I'm not sure I would strike up a conversation with God whilst mid poop, Mr. Frankie.

The last thing you want is an omnipotent, all powerful being taking offense at your actions. We are insignificant specks compared to Him and it would be extremely easy for the Lord Of Hosts to snap His Glorious Fingers and cause you to instantly crap out your large intestine all the way to the ileum which would mean, of course, you would have to show up at the emergency room with your intestines in a grocery bag. Look at Moses, for example. He had everything. Girls. Wealth. Good looks. A chance at his own pyramid. One day he was next in line for Pharaoh, then he prays while on the crapper, and the next thing you know he's wandering in the desert for 40 years with a bunch of pissed-off Jews constantly hounding his sorry ass for more Manna.

FAX

:LOL: Mr. FAX never fails to make me laugh. Do you mean I have to spend the next 40 years with a bunch of pissed-off Jews?! I just hope they'll be understanding with me.

LaChapelle
05-09-2010, 09:39 PM
If you were taught to get on your knees first
this shit wouldn't happen

Frankie
05-09-2010, 09:42 PM
Even if God doesn't smack on Frankie, the Taliban might be coming after him for blasphemy if they read his post. He'd better hope that no Taliban are also Chiefs fans - this could get ugly.

If memory serves right in the ancient language of the common era "Tali" means Donkey and "Ban" means fan.

Frankie
05-09-2010, 09:50 PM
I am curious as to what you were praying about exactly. Were you asking why "God" let these children be taken from their family? Or something else? Just curious.

Just felt very bad about the family and the innocent little ones they lost. I asked for comfort for the survivors and heaven for the victims. Really. That's when I started thinking about the appropriateness (or lack thereof) of calling God while on a bombing sortie, and I wondered if what I was thought as I was growing up was common to all monotheistic religions.

Frankie
05-09-2010, 09:51 PM
Holy Shit!

ROFL Very creative.

soopamanluva
05-10-2010, 06:35 AM
No man, you're good. The idea that you were disrespecting god by praying on the toilet is asinine. It's perpetuated by the legalistic ideology of some denominations. You say you are not a believe of religion but a believer of god. GOOD! that is the way to be. Religion doesn't get you anywhere, the relationship with god does. Did it ever occur to you that god compelled you to pray at that time?


OK bear with me here. This is gonna sound like a poop thread at first, but I am sincerely curious. Also no trivializing of a tragedy is intended:

I was just on the poop seat doing my business and reading my Sunday paper. I was horrified to read about this family who lost their 5 year old on Friday and their 5 month old on Saturday due to a car crash last Thursday. I have said many times that I am not a believer in "religion" but a believer in "God." Upon reading the tragic news I felt like praying to God immediately for this family and the little victims. I caught myself talking to God while I was doing the No. 2! I then felt that I was disrespectful to God because of the location of my prayer. The question:

1- Was I out of line?
2- Should I think God does not mind where and when you send a prayer his way?

The former stems from traditional teachings and practices that emphasize being disrespectful to God. The latter stems from plain logic.

It is a slow time of the year regarding Chiefs and Football. So let's discuss this. Again I have no reason, other than my own initial curiosity about my prayer location, to post this and I hope this will not turn into a bashing fest between the Atheists and the religious amongst us.

What do you think?

Bwana
05-10-2010, 06:42 AM
Saaaaaaaaaaaay! A poo/Jesus thread all in one. That may be a first.

kepp
05-10-2010, 06:45 AM
no sir, praising God when you felt it was right is no problem with the big man upstairs.

i.e.- It's about the heart, not the fart

C-Mac
05-10-2010, 08:08 AM
I really don't know why I feel impelled to post, but 62 posts and no quotes from the book that actually discusses prayer.

"You, however, when you pray, go into your private room and, after shutting your door, pray to your Father who is in secret; then your Father who looks on in secret will repay you.
But when praying, do not say the same things over and over again, just as the people of the nations do, for they imagine they will get a hearing for their use of many words" -Matthew 6:6-7

melbar
05-10-2010, 10:29 AM
Seems to be the only time I can get some "Quiet" time. If thats when the spirit moves you, then why not? I personally try to keep it during the intermission periods...

listopencil
05-10-2010, 12:10 PM
I don't know, I really don't get the whole idea of prayer. What purpose could it possibly serve other than a form of meditation?

Manila-Chief
05-10-2010, 01:08 PM
"Hebrews 13:5-6 "Let your conduct be without covetousness, and be content with such things that you have, for he has said, 'I will never leave you, nor forsake you,' so that we may boldly say, 'The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do to me.'"

If you are a believer, God is always with you, so why not talk with Him wherever you are? God is not concerned about where you are but your attitude as you pray.

KCBOSS1 ... you are correct ... 1 Thessalonians 5:17 ()pray without ceasing") does answer the question.


Oh, no don't get me wrong. I agree. I'm not trying to confuse the issue. But God is God and bigger than a gender argument. Jesus was obviously a "He" and is also God. The Holy Spirit is on the earth and is also God and referred to as "He" in the Bible, so He is a "they" too; Trinity thing. Not trying to confuse the issue, but the conversation was more fun when we were talking about praying on the toilet.

I agree God is much more glorious than we can imagine or conceive ... therefore, not limited by "gender" ... but since we are limited in our understanding ... we use the term "He," and understand God is more than that term.

C-Mac ... I like your "... small room" scripture illustration.