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DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 11:57 AM
My job allows me to work on the road, out and about during the day.

Today I decided to stop in for coffee and email-ing at a downtown market. Some convention is in town and the place is jammed to capacity. I wait 5 minutes for a table in the cafe area, where people eat. One opens up.

Its a table built for 4 and there are three chairs. I am talking to a client on the phone, with my stuff spread out on the table. Working on my laptop as well.

This random guy with one of these goofy badges sets his food down on the table, and sits down. At my table.

I tell my client I'll call him back. I ask random guy if he needs something, and he says, "No I'm fine, I'm just going to sit here if that's alright."

So, I move my shit, because I dont want to be an asshole. Then random guys friend walks up, and is all "Great! You got a table!" and then they start bullshitting. His knees are against mine because this freak is 6 foot 9.

I start writing this thread. Then, a table next to us opens up, and sensing my uncomfortable-ness, the guys are like "Let's slide over here!"

I think, great. Now I can get back to work. Not 30 seconds later some weird french guy in a floral button up shirt says "I can sit here?" and sits here without waiting for my answer.

And now he's eating pizza and staring weirdly at me. Not gay weird. But just bored weird.

Am I an asshole, a freak magnet, or both? Or neither?

Claynus
06-01-2010, 12:00 PM
The floral print guy is probably from Chiefsplanet.

DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 12:00 PM
He looks like rain man. But not our Rain Man. Dustin Hoffman's Rain Man.

SPATCH
06-01-2010, 12:01 PM
You're more of a dick than anything...

DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 12:01 PM
Still...... staring......

DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 12:02 PM
You're more of a dick than anything...

Hey, I am what I eat.

Wait.....


scratch that.

seclark
06-01-2010, 12:02 PM
three words: fart three times
sec

Saulbadguy
06-01-2010, 12:03 PM
What kind of pizza?

DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 12:04 PM
What kind of pizza?

I dunno. He did this weird thing where he folded the slice like a sandwich so all i can see is crust.

Claynus
06-01-2010, 12:04 PM
Next time go full asshole and tell them you're expecting someone.

Gary
06-01-2010, 12:05 PM
Order some "Freedom Fries"

DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 12:07 PM
Next time go full asshole and tell them you're expecting someone.

I wanted to, but it just happened so fast. I was on the phone and caught off guard.

I made my bed. Now I have to sleep in it. With Pierre. And his floral shirt. And Man-bag that he had hidden under the table.

Rain Man
06-01-2010, 12:07 PM
Tell him your grandfather visited Paris during WWII and loved it. Then let it slip that your grandfather was in the German army.

Claynus
06-01-2010, 12:09 PM
Rip a few farts if you can.

DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 12:10 PM
Tell him your grandfather visited Paris during WWII and loved it. Then let it slip that your grandfather was in the German army.

Hey, gramps did do all that. But gramps was Jewish. Can't even pretend to insult his memory with all that.

But I like the angle!

DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 12:11 PM
I farted ---- fail.

It was SBD.

ChiTown
06-01-2010, 12:11 PM
Always, and I mean ALWAYS spread your briefcase, computer and it's belongings over the table - as if to say "No Vacancy, Asshole".

DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 12:13 PM
Now a british lady is arguing with an african man about who gets to borrow a chair from my table.

Pierre is gone.

DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 12:14 PM
FUCK.

African man and his lady friend are sitting down now. He's eating smelly fried fish.

I feel like I am at the world's fair. This is ridiculous.

DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 12:15 PM
I must look very friendly or something. If they only knew.

big nasty kcnut
06-01-2010, 12:17 PM
Tell him that if he don't move your woman going to hit him.

DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 12:20 PM
Tell him that if he don't move your woman going to hit him.

I dont have a woman, Nut. Maybe this is why. I would be more open to friendly banter with these people if they weren't so weird about how they sat down and what not.

I mean, I waited my turn for a table. Why couldn't they do the same?

Rain Man
06-01-2010, 12:24 PM
Pretend to get on your phone and have an animated fake conversation about covering up a murder.

"What do you mean you dumped it off Highway 29? That's the first place they'll look!"

(Pause.)

"Well, who's handling the alibi?"

(Pause.)

"Jenny? Is she out now? Is the monitoring bracelet off now? What's she going to say?"

(Pause.)

"NO NO NO! You can't say you were at the festival! They have cameras there!"

OnTheWarpath58
06-01-2010, 12:25 PM
I dont have a woman, Nut. Maybe this is why. I would be more open to friendly banter with these people if they weren't so weird about how they sat down and what not.

I mean, I waited my turn for a table. Why couldn't they do the same?

Because they are rude fucking assholes?

When I've been in a situation like this, I put as much of my shit as I can in the chairs - laptop bag in one, RFP binder in another, etc - then they are forced to at least ask.

Then you can tell them to fuck off. Until the hot chick asks to sit at your table.

SPATCH
06-01-2010, 12:25 PM
I dont have a woman, Nut. Maybe this is why. I would be more open to friendly banter with these people if they weren't so weird about how they sat down and what not.

I mean, I waited my turn for a table. Why couldn't they do the same?

you're being a dick... stop being a bad ambassador for our country.

dick.

Claynus
06-01-2010, 12:35 PM
The best version of this is at movie theaters. Bringing shit and putting it in the seat next to you works wonders.

sedated
06-01-2010, 12:37 PM
I've never encountered this - people wanting a table so badly that they sit at another person's table. And somehow you've had it happen 3 times in one meal. Maybe its a local thing.

Short Leash Hootie
06-01-2010, 12:40 PM
I would never put myself in that situation, I guess...

I'd be seriously pissed off if someone decided it was ok to sit at a table where I was working at...

Not my problem I got here first and got this table...I don't care if it has four chairs...wait your fucking turn, assholes.

Brock
06-01-2010, 12:42 PM
I don't think you're an ass or anything, but if I was running that cafe, I'd tell you to come back when we're not so busy.

Sofa King
06-01-2010, 12:45 PM
Where's that video of the guy that pranks all these people by using his cell phone and telling the guy other the other line to meet him somewhere, and that he's wearing whatever the people at the table next to him are wearing, then he runs off....

i couldn't find it...

Short Leash Hootie
06-01-2010, 12:45 PM
I don't think you're an ass or anything, but if I was running that cafe, I'd tell you to come back when we're not so busy.

That's true...

I don't drink coffee and I don't need to feel like a cool college kid (that's what the hippies around here do) so I don't hang around coffee shops or Starbucks with my laptop and Birkenstocks...

but if you're going to have a cafe, you have to expect a large part of your clientele is going to be of the 'lingerer' variety who are there to get a cup of coffee, maybe a muffin, and sit around and work on their laptops for an hour or two...

and I bet this Dante fella is going to think twice before ever going to this place again because of all the creeps who want to share a table...

God damn I'd be so creeped out and irritated I'd certainly never go to that place again...

Phobia
06-01-2010, 12:51 PM
The idea of the cafe is to make money. That entails putting as many people through the doors as possible during peak times,.... like lunch. If you're stretched out occupying space for four, it's you who are the a-hole, not they.

Short Leash Hootie
06-01-2010, 12:55 PM
well I disagree...

don't open a cafe if you don't want "loitering" guests...

that take up space

a cafe invites people to come in, grab a cup of coffee...and advertise free wifi...

what the fuck do they expect?

Rain Man
06-01-2010, 12:56 PM
I've never encountered this - people wanting a table so badly that they sit at another person's table. And somehow you've had it happen 3 times in one meal. Maybe its a local thing.


Just to check, which one of these people do you most resemble?


http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/8527/oneofthesethings.png

Phobia
06-01-2010, 12:59 PM
well I disagree...

don't open a cafe if you don't want "loitering" guests...

that take up space

a cafe invites people to come in, grab a cup of coffee...and advertise free wifi...

what the **** do they expect?

It's not a coffee shop, it's a cafe. Different animals. Plus, loiter all you want at 2:30. Do not loiter when there's a line for tables... else, take a 2-seater, not a 4 seater.

Short Leash Hootie
06-01-2010, 01:02 PM
if there isn't a 2 seater and I'm there first...tough shit...

that doesn't mean I'm going to share my table...

but like I said...

I'm not much of a loiterer/cafe type so I don't really know how that shit works...not really my cup of tea.

OnTheWarpath58
06-01-2010, 01:12 PM
If I've paid for a service, in this case, a cup of coffee and waited for a seat, I'd expect others to do the same. Walking in to use free wi-fi and not ordering anything? That's loitering, IMO.

And we have no idea how long he was planning to stay, or actually stayed. Spending a half-hour drinking a cup of coffee and getting some work done at the same time is far from loitering in my book.

Is there a full moon today? I'm agreeing with Hootie.

That or we're having some kind of an Adderol/Oxycodone connection.

DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 01:19 PM
Let me clear this up a bit.

I did purchase a drink. Also, I used the term "cafe" lightly. It is a seating area built into a high-end grocery store/market.

It's not the traditional restaurant-cafe. I have had plenty of serving jobs, and I hated the assholes who took up a table in my section for hours.

We are talking about a full room of people, occupying every table. I waited 5 minutes for someone to get up. A group got up, and I snagged the table, set my shit down, and made a call. Less than 10 minutes after sitting down is when the first doofus plopped down.

Phobia
06-01-2010, 01:22 PM
If I've paid for a service, in this case, a cup of coffee and waited for a seat, I'd expect others to do the same. Walking in to use free wi-fi and not ordering anything? That's loitering, IMO.

And we have no idea how long he was planning to stay, or actually stayed. Spending a half-hour drinking a cup of coffee and getting some work done at the same time is far from loitering in my book.

Is it a cafe or a coffee shop? Did he pay $1.00 or $5.00 for the cup-o-joe?

If it's a cafe, he's wrong. If it's a coffee shop then he can do whatever he wants. I'm not mad at anybody nor do I expect anybody to see it from the vantage point of a business-owner.

DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 01:25 PM
Is it a cafe or a coffee shop? Did he pay $1.00 or $5.00 for the cup-o-joe?

If it's a cafe, he's wrong. If it's a coffee shop then he can do whatever he wants. I'm not mad at anybody nor do I expect anybody to see it from the vantage point of a business-owner.

It was a five buck cup, it was a seating area rather than a cafe, no servers or anything of the sort. I was business-owner friendly today.

Also, it was a planned hour, but I threw the towel in after my last post.

Phobia
06-01-2010, 01:26 PM
It was a five buck cup, it was a seating area rather than a cafe, no servers or anything of the sort. I was business-owner friendly today.

Also, it was a planned hour, but I threw the towel in after my last post.

Cool. Glad to know people are still considerate. Thanks for the clarification.

CoMoChief
06-01-2010, 02:23 PM
My job allows me to work on the road, out and about during the day.

Today I decided to stop in for coffee and email-ing at a downtown market. Some convention is in town and the place is jammed to capacity. I wait 5 minutes for a table in the cafe area, where people eat. One opens up.

Its a table built for 4 and there are three chairs. I am talking to a client on the phone, with my stuff spread out on the table. Working on my laptop as well.

This random guy with one of these goofy badges sets his food down on the table, and sits down. At my table.

I tell my client I'll call him back. I ask random guy if he needs something, and he says, "No I'm fine, I'm just going to sit here if that's alright."

So, I move my shit, because I dont want to be an asshole. Then random guys friend walks up, and is all "Great! You got a table!" and then they start bullshitting. His knees are against mine because this freak is 6 foot 9.

I start writing this thread. Then, a table next to us opens up, and sensing my uncomfortable-ness, the guys are like "Let's slide over here!"

I think, great. Now I can get back to work. Not 30 seconds later some weird french guy in a floral button up shirt says "I can sit here?" and sits here without waiting for my answer.

And now he's eating pizza and staring weirdly at me. Not gay weird. But just bored weird.

Am I an asshole, a freak magnet, or both? Or neither?

Sounds like you're just being retarded.......as you noted....the place was jammed crowded. Sounds like you picked a horrible place to get your "work" done during "Lunchtime".

JMO

Short Leash Hootie
06-01-2010, 02:30 PM
I'm a courteous person...I tip well, I'm respectful, easy going and understand things from a "business owners standpoint"...

I was with a group at lunch the other day and they were pissed at the server because the food was taking so long...I was like..."she's not cooking it!"

So don't act like I don't understand...

A cafe that has free wi-fi INVITES people to buy a cheap cup of coffee and use their internet to do whatever it is they please...

and if I'm a paying customer I am not going to HAPPILY share my table that I waited for with some creep who can't wait their turn...

Sofa King
06-01-2010, 03:02 PM
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DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 03:08 PM
Sounds like you're just being retarded.......as you noted....the place was jammed crowded. Sounds like you picked a horrible place to get your "work" done during "Lunchtime".

JMO

I wouldn't go as far as to say I was being retarded. There were some extenuating circumstances:
- It was supposed to hail and this place has a parking garage
- This place has bomb ass food
- There was absolutely no way for me to know about the doofus convention until I had already committed.
- I didn't think I would have to talk on the phone until I got a text that said call me

And why did you put lunchtime in quotes? Did you say the word lunchtime when you were typing that post? It was most definitely lunchtime. I'm trying to drop 15 libby's so I subbed in a coffee w/ protein for actual lunch.

DA_T_84
06-01-2010, 03:09 PM
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That's kind of how it went down, except it was one table, a french guy with weird eyes and no computer on the right.

CrazyPhuD
06-01-2010, 03:41 PM
Two words ..... open carry .... Then no one would have sat with you.

DaKCMan AP
06-01-2010, 03:46 PM
It would have been Awesome if DaKCMan AP was there.

Hog Farmer
06-01-2010, 04:51 PM
I'd just start jacking off, that MIGHT make them leave.

OnTheWarpath58
06-01-2010, 06:28 PM
A cafe that has free wi-fi INVITES people to buy a cheap cup of coffee and use their internet to do whatever it is they please...

and if I'm a paying customer I am not going to HAPPILY share my table that I waited for with some creep who can't wait their turn...

Jesus, that's twice today I've agreed with you.

Want to give your customers free wi-fi?

Expect it to be taken advantage of. Part of doing business.

I don't see where Dante did anything wrong.

Short Leash Hootie
06-01-2010, 06:32 PM
Jesus, that's twice today I've agreed with you.

Want to give your customers free wi-fi?

Expect it to be taken advantage of. Part of doing business.

I don't see where Dante did anything wrong.

Exactly...

When I was in transition between Normal and Champaign for about 5 days last year I had to use the wifi at Panera on a daily basis...I'd buy a sandwich and a drink and use the wifi for about an hour...

If anyone tried sharing a table with me that I didn't know I would have been thoroughly annoyed...and since I'm a pussy that avoids confrontation I would have just quickly finished up and left and then ranted about it to my friends for the next two weeks.

OnTheWarpath58
06-01-2010, 06:42 PM
Exactly...

When I was in transition between Normal and Champaign for about 5 days last year I had to use the wifi at Panera on a daily basis...I'd buy a sandwich and a drink and use the wifi for about an hour...

If anyone tried sharing a table with me that I didn't know I would have been thoroughly annoyed...and since I'm a pussy that avoids confrontation I would have just quickly finished up and left and then ranted about it to my friends for the next two weeks.

This past semester I took all 16 of my hours on Monday and Wednesday - because I have a 35 mile commute to campus each way. Save gas and all.

Anyway, there was a point in the day where I had just over a 3 hour break between classes (one class was an online class) and there's a place in STL named Stratton's that has kick ass food, serves b-fast all day, great desserts, etc.

They offer free wi-fi, and have an outlet at every table. I've talked to the owner, Ben several times, and we've had almost this exact conversation.

Would he prefer to turn tables as quickly as possible? Of course.

But he'd rather someone come in and grab a coffee, gelato, etc and work for an hour - even if there's a wait - than see that customer go elsewhere.

I'm guessing it's one of the main reasons why the place is one of the most popular in town and he's quickly expanding.

Tylerthigpen!1!
06-01-2010, 07:30 PM
It is always the GD asians that try to pull that shit in college

DA_T_84
06-02-2010, 02:54 PM
Guys. THis fucking sam scenario is happening right now as we speak. MOTHERFUCKER! I am at borders on the plaza. AGAIN I am on the phone with a client, and this 60 year old professor type starts hovering over me. I tell my client ill call her back.

Me: yes?
Him: hi. I need to sit here because my computer is about to die and you've got a free outlet.
Me: actually, I have some important calls to make, so...
Him: don't worry, I won't listen. (He's already sitting down and logging in)

UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE. I must have some weird magnetic quality or something. This has never happened to me before and this is the 4th time in 28 hours.

Seriously. Working on the road was going to be fun. Now its just creepy.

OnTheWarpath58
06-02-2010, 02:57 PM
Guys. THis fucking sam scenario is happening right now as we speak. MOTHERFUCKER! I am at borders on the plaza. AGAIN I am on the phone with a client, and this 60 year old professor type starts hovering over me. I tell my client ill call her back.

Me: yes?
Him: hi. I need to sit here because my computer is about to die and you've got a free outlet.
Me: actually, I have some important calls to make, so...
Him: don't worry, I won't listen. (He's already sitting down and logging in)

UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE. I must have some weird magnetic quality or something. This has never happened to me before and this is the 4th time in 28 hours.

Seriously. Working on the road was going to be fun. Now its just creepy.

Just like I said earlier in this thread:

People are just rude assholes.

CHENZ A!
06-02-2010, 03:28 PM
You need to be more assertive.
Posted via Mobile Device

ChiTown
06-02-2010, 03:29 PM
You need to be more assertive.
Posted via Mobile Device

Agreed. You must learn the phrase: Fuck OFF!

Short Leash Hootie
06-02-2010, 03:32 PM
You need to be more assertive.
Posted via Mobile Device

that's saying a lot though...

I would handle it the same way as old Dante and be pissed off as hell...

I'm not going to tell some total stranger at a Borders to "fuck off"...I'll just scoot over and be pissed off about it (to myself) the entire time and eventually I'd just stop going to these damn places because of all the creeps that seem to swarm these joints...

sedated
06-02-2010, 03:35 PM
you sure seem to attract a lot of creepy old men.

ChiTown
06-02-2010, 03:35 PM
I'm not going to tell some total stranger at a Borders to "**** off"...I'll just scoot over and be pissed off about it (to myself) the entire time and eventually I'd just stop going to these damn places because of all the creeps that seem to swarm these joints...

When I travel, I'm a sonofabitch. I'm generally busy, not in a good mood, and probably need a drink. I have no problem telling aholes like that to go fuck themselves. I do realize, that I'm an asshole. However, I've learned to embrace it.:D

CHENZ A!
06-02-2010, 03:38 PM
that's saying a lot though...

I would handle it the same way as old Dante and be pissed off as hell...

I'm not going to tell some total stranger at a Borders to "fuck off"...I'll just scoot over and be pissed off about it (to myself) the entire time and eventually I'd just stop going to these damn places because of all the creeps that seem to swarm these joints...

I'm not saying to tell the guy to fuck off. I'd probably be as polite as possible, but the end result would be me sitting alone if that's what I wanted to do. You can be polite and assertive at the same time.
If they refuse to leave just go get the mgr and explain the situation.
Posted via Mobile Device