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View Full Version : Life How often do you socialize with friends?


Rain Man
06-06-2010, 09:12 PM
See the poll for the categories. I'm wondering to what extent romantic relationships impact friend relationships.

"Socializing" in this case means the following:

Meeting in the same physical space with at least one other person who is NOT related to you, and with whom you are NOT romantically linked, for the purposes of having fun. Activities can include, but are not limited to, playing games, having dinner, shooting up with drugs, singing, going to parties, beating hobos, cruising the strip, reenacting or creating dramatic scenes about hobbits or stormtroopers, hobby clubs, fishing, shooting pool, bombardment, softball, chatting, engaging in threesomes or orgies, going out to lunch with coworkers in non-work mode, hanging out, watching movies, hiking, biking, bar-hopping, drinking yourself to oblivion in a McDonald's parking lot to forget your miserable life for a few fleeting hours, performing electroshock therapy on each other for non-medical reasons, book clubs, speed dating, or any other endeavor engaged purely for pleasure. (Note that for the purposes of this poll, threesomes and orgies will not count as a romantic relationship.)

If you do the above activities with people who are related or romantically linked, it still counts if there's at least one person involved who doesn't fit those categories. So if you go to a concert with your dad and your girlfriend and her best friend and her best friend's cousin from Tallahassee who's in town for Lilithfest, it counts.

The following do NOT count as socializing:

1. Any of the above activities where you are related (by blood or by marriage) to or romantically linked with ALL other involved parties.

2. Any activity where you pay all other parties to participate, such as soliciting a prostitute or receiving psychoanalysis.

3. Any activity where you don't know anyone involved and there's no organized plan to meet others, such as running a 5K, sitting in the audience at the symphony or a stock car race, or going to a bar when you don't know anybody there.

4. Playing networked computer games where you are not physically within sight of other players.

5. Meetings that are primarily for work purposes, such as showing the new chick how to change the toner in the copier or going to a business networking event, even if it serves quesadillas.

Poll to follow.

Reaper16
06-06-2010, 09:25 PM
Single, unattached, socialized 16-20 days.

-King-
06-06-2010, 09:28 PM
Voted in the wrong section. Meant to put my vote in with eh single and unattached. But its 5-7 days.

seclark
06-06-2010, 09:29 PM
married, 11 to 15 days.
sec

Rain Man
06-06-2010, 09:31 PM
Single, unattached, socialized 16-20 days.


Wow, that seems pretty social. I guess we'll find out.

I'm married, and I don't think I've socialized at all with friends. The wife and I have gone out, and I've done work-related parties, but I don't think I've done anything with friends.

Wait. We did a little summer social at the office with some chips and dip and M&Ms. Maybe that counts as 1.

seclark
06-06-2010, 09:34 PM
Wow, that seems pretty social. I guess we'll find out.

I'm married, and I don't think I've socialized at all with friends. The wife and I have gone out, and I've done work-related parties, but I don't think I've done anything with friends.

Wait. We did a little summer social at the office with some chips and dip and M&Ms. Maybe that counts as 1.

we went to cancun for a week w/friends. then hit several cemeteries over memorial day weekend. you didn't specify that they had to be alive.
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Rain Man
06-06-2010, 09:39 PM
we went to cancun for a week w/friends. then hit several cemeteries over memorial day weekend. you didn't specify that they had to be alive.
sec

Good catch.

You're much more social than I would've expected, and more with dead people than I would've expected. A little bit more, anyway.

AustinChief
06-06-2010, 09:41 PM
Perfect 30 for 30.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_iVXgyX0oDP4/SkepgyogTvI/AAAAAAAABhE/FvhN3ygkT7Y/s320/Social-Butterfly.jpg

luv
06-06-2010, 09:49 PM
Outside of work and school, I'd say 5-7 days.

Rain Man
06-06-2010, 09:55 PM
Perfect 30 for 30.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_iVXgyX0oDP4/SkepgyogTvI/AAAAAAAABhE/FvhN3ygkT7Y/s320/Social-Butterfly.jpg


Aha! I always suspected that you were Paris Hilton.

joesomebody
06-06-2010, 09:58 PM
Have girlfriend, but live alone. More than 20 days a month.

It's pushing 30, but I'd estimate 26 a month on average.

BucEyedPea
06-06-2010, 10:03 PM
I have a companion....not a boyfriend exactly.
5 times last month. I clicked 2-4 because I forgot one.

baseball game
movie
out to dinner
lunch with a gf
brunch at a friends with a bunch of people
I skipped out on a party I was invited to though. Cause it was potluck and I didn't want to cook.

irishjayhawk
06-06-2010, 10:10 PM
For me, I average about 5-7 days. This isn't surprising given two things:

1) I'm an introvert

2) Socializing these days is freaking expensive. (IME)

Nzoner
06-06-2010, 10:15 PM
Married and went with 16-20 this last month but during football season it sometimes increases to more.

Iowanian
06-06-2010, 10:18 PM
Not often enough.

Nzoner
06-06-2010, 10:21 PM
Just to clarify,that's married,with NO kids

Tylerthigpen!1!
06-06-2010, 11:14 PM
I've always been curious about being married and having friendships. My parents might have one or two good friends but they don't socialize with them too often. Is that the norm? Is marriage the death of friendships?

Rain Man
06-06-2010, 11:17 PM
I've always been curious about being married and having friendships. My parents might have one or two good friends but they don't socialize with them too often. Is that the norm? Is marriage the death of friendships?


To some extent, I would vote yes. In part, that's the reason for the poll.

My wife and I do a lot of activities together, but very few with friends. It's not because we can't (or at least I think not), but rather that it's easy to plan and do stuff together. We generally don't think to invite other people. We just go to dinner or go to a play or go do something else. We often talk about how we should try to make more friends (most of ours have drifted away over time), but we never bother doing it. We have some shallow friends that we could invite for socializing, but we seldom do it.

Pablo
06-06-2010, 11:20 PM
Single, unattached, socialized 16-20 days.

Ditto.

It'd be more if a whole lot of my friends hadn't moved away within the last 6 months.

Pablo
06-06-2010, 11:26 PM
I can't sit at home on the weekend at all. I'm pretty much up for anything, whenever. Lots of fishing and BBQing to be done in the summer and a whole lot of invites. I try to manage between my good friends, best buds, and chicks. I miss a lot of shit because of previous commitments but I always have a good time.

Bacon Cheeseburger
06-06-2010, 11:34 PM
In the last month I've gone on several bike rides with friends, spent the weekend at Nzoner's, partied at a friend's house a couple times, went to the bar a couple times and went to a couple graduation parties. If you had asked this in January my answer would've been different.

LetsSignRussell
06-06-2010, 11:37 PM
In the last month I've gone on several bike rides with friends, spent the weekend at Nzoner's, partied at a friend's house a couple times, went to the bar a couple times and went to a couple graduation parties. If you had asked this in January my answer would've been different.

You used to be more of a jackass. Your not quite as bad anymore.

KurtCobain
06-06-2010, 11:43 PM
Sometimes.

wazu
06-06-2010, 11:45 PM
This poll needs another level of "and have kids". Can't think of anything that has had a broader impact on my social life than that.

KurtCobain
06-06-2010, 11:51 PM
This poll needs another level of "and have kids". Can't think of anything that has had a broader impact on my social life than that.

It's a killer.

-King-
06-07-2010, 01:28 AM
To some extent, I would vote yes. In part, that's the reason for the poll.

My wife and I do a lot of activities together, but very few with friends. It's not because we can't (or at least I think not), but rather that it's easy to plan and do stuff together. We generally don't think to invite other people. We just go to dinner or go to a play or go do something else. We often talk about how we should try to make more friends (most of ours have drifted away over time), but we never bother doing it. We have some shallow friends that we could invite for socializing, but we seldom do it.

I've always wondered...do you have kids?

Rain Man
06-07-2010, 02:00 AM
I've always wondered...do you have kids?

Nah. I took that whole "don't get a girl pregnant" warning very seriously.

-King-
06-07-2010, 03:51 AM
Nah. I took that whole "don't get a girl pregnant" warning very seriously.

ROFL ROFL
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kysirsoze
06-07-2010, 04:29 AM
Single and I socialize with people virtually every day. Of course I have a roommate and 4 other friends that live in the same apartment complex.

kindra68
06-07-2010, 07:58 AM
Living in sin for about two years now. TheManChild is 17. So technically “child at home” but he can feed his self and wipe his own ass.
Happy Hour every Tuesday, (sometimes Wednesdays & Thursdays too). Hit up the club most every Friday or Saturday or Friday AND Saturday. And then cook outs on most Sunday’s.
this past week went:
Sunday cookout. Monday cookout. Tuesday Happy Hour. Wednesday Happy Hour. Thursday snuck out for Happy Hour and when I got home asked if I wanted to go to Happy Hour. Friday Club with friends. Saturday Club with friends. Sunday (yesterday) cook out.
And now today is Monday and I have a few errands to run so I probley won’t do anything tonight. Maybe a few homebrews with dinner. But tomorrow is Tuesday, so it’s Happy Hour again. And life continues…

ChiTown
06-07-2010, 08:02 AM
Used to be more (pre-kids), but I'd say 1 night every other weekend, maybe a bit more. Maybe 3 nights a month.

MOhillbilly
06-07-2010, 08:07 AM
gonna be married- 16-20 a week. Just some catch up time mostly.

Iowanian
06-07-2010, 08:22 AM
3 small kids, 2 businesses, community active, night meetings, Tball and I hang out more with my brothers and cousins than non-relatives.


I'm a recluse.

RedNFeisty
06-07-2010, 08:28 AM
Single, unattached, about 5-7. I only get 4 days a month where I don't have the kids, then two nights a week without them, so not much adult socializing for me. :cuss:

RedNFeisty
06-07-2010, 08:32 AM
To some extent, I would vote yes. In part, that's the reason for the poll.

My wife and I do a lot of activities together, but very few with friends. It's not because we can't (or at least I think not), but rather that it's easy to plan and do stuff together. We generally don't think to invite other people. We just go to dinner or go to a play or go do something else. We often talk about how we should try to make more friends (most of ours have drifted away over time), but we never bother doing it. We have some shallow friends that we could invite for socializing, but we seldom do it.

That was what it was like when I was married. Friends get married, had kids and everyone drifted apart. Now, he is the social butterfly and I am the reclusive one.

Lumpy
06-07-2010, 08:41 AM
Married and have only socialized twice within the last 30 days, (played poker at the bar). My social life is full of fail. :(

NewChief
06-07-2010, 08:46 AM
Married and 11-15 days. My wife would go to the 16-20 days. Most of those are us spending time with other couples in social situations. Yes, we hang out with people a lot.

NewChief
06-07-2010, 08:48 AM
I've always been curious about being married and having friendships. My parents might have one or two good friends but they don't socialize with them too often. Is that the norm? Is marriage the death of friendships?

Not for us. We still have a very tight knit group of friends. We've just all got kids, now. On top of that, having kids has actually expanded our social circle as we've met other couples through our kids.

Frazod
06-07-2010, 08:51 AM
We generally go out on Saturdays.

I tell people that my wife is like the garbage - I have to take her out once a week. :evil:

boogblaster
06-07-2010, 09:04 AM
got people coming thru the door bout everyday but mostly neighbors so the 5-7 with old friends

JD10367
06-07-2010, 03:10 PM
I misunderstood the poll and wrongly answered "more than 20 days". I thought it was an interval, LOL.

For the wife and I, it's around once a month. Maybe twice, but usually once.

Marriage isn't the death of socializing, but it cuts into it. But a bigger factor is aging. When you're young, you're more prone to partying, hanging out, going out to restaurants with other friends who are equally bored, etc.,. Then you get old, and married, and you work all day, and you come home and eat dinner and plop in front of the computer or TV and the next thing you know it's bedtime. It's harder to schedule mutually-acceptable times for large groups of friends to get together. And your spare-time activities change: instead of hanging at a bar, you simply go for a walk; instead of going over a friend's house and hanging out, you wander a mall or catch a movie.

It's also a war of attrition as you age, when it comes to friends. When you're young, you make a lot of friends in school, and at your jobs. As you age, those friends drift into new jobs and new states. They say, if you keep one high-school friend as a lifelong friend, that's better than average; I have two, who I consider friends, even though I rarely talk to them, and one lives one state away and the other lives two states away.

Nzoner
06-07-2010, 03:21 PM
Marriage isn't the death of socializing, but it cuts into it. But a bigger factor is aging. When you're young, you're more prone to partying, hanging out, going out to restaurants with other friends who are equally bored, etc.,. Then you get old, and married, and you work all day, and you come home and eat dinner and plop in front of the computer or TV and the next thing you know it's bedtime. It's harder to schedule mutually-acceptable times for large groups of friends to get together. And your spare-time activities change: instead of hanging at a bar, you simply go for a walk; instead of going over a friend's house and hanging out, you wander a mall or catch a movie.


Just how old are you talking?I'm 47 and socialize a lot,of course my mrs and I work together so there's more times than not she's glad to have my ass gone with friends.

KCUnited
06-07-2010, 03:29 PM
Married, no kids. I went 16-20, but I consider the nameless regulars at The Peanut for the Royals games as friends.

Guru
06-07-2010, 03:29 PM
I generally socialize only a few times per year. The Bash, New Years and couple of random get togethers.

JD10367
06-07-2010, 03:29 PM
Just how old are you talking?I'm 47 and socialize a lot,of course my mrs and I work together so there's more times than not she's glad to have my ass gone with friends.

We're about 5 years younger than you. But I guess there are other variables which might come into play. My wife and I didn't grow up here; I've been here 10 years, she's been here around 7, but my "friends" mostly live in MA and she came from NJ. We have two friends here, who we see once every month or two for a "game night" (where me mostly eat and shoot the shit and catch up, and play very few games). I don't have any friends in work (since I work alone in a room), and she dislikes her coworkers, LOL.

CoMoChief
06-07-2010, 03:36 PM
3-4 nights/week for myself.

NewChief
06-07-2010, 03:38 PM
We're about 5 years younger than you. But I guess there are other variables which might come into play. My wife and I didn't grow up here; I've been here 10 years, she's been here around 7, but my "friends" mostly live in MA and she came from NJ. We have two friends here, who we see once every month or two for a "game night" (where me mostly eat and shoot the shit and catch up, and play very few games). I don't have any friends in work (since I work alone in a room), and she dislikes her coworkers, LOL.

Our social circle is way, way too big because we're back in the town where we both went to college. We have too many friends and acquaintances that all live here to keep up with... if we lived somewhere else it would likely be different.

The result has been that our social circle has kind of cliqued off into a variety of smaller groups that tend to spend time with each other. We all still get together for big parties and events, but most of us have 2-3 other couples that we spend the majority of our time with.

Demonpenz
06-07-2010, 03:53 PM
I hope I push and make friends through senile old age.

Kyle DeLexus
06-07-2010, 10:09 PM
I'm not sure what category I fall in, I'm in a "relationship" with a girl who has a boyfriend so would I be single or in the I have a girlfriend category? And if I'm in the single zone does it count when I "socialize" with her?