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MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 10:41 AM
Lets hear some little sayings w/ explanations.

water haul - went down to the crawdad hole and it was a water haul, didnt catch nothin.

two cunted cow pissin on a flat rock- Its raining real hard.

NewChief
06-09-2010, 10:47 AM
My mom was raised sharecroppin in South Arkansas. I need to write down some of the shit she says. I don't even think much of it, because I was raised listening to it... but my wife is always dumbfounded by some of the crap that comes out of my mom's mouth.

One of the latest was a "bo-ho-honey-ro" which is basically when you hollow out a biscuit or roll and fill it with honey to eat it. I swear she just makes some of the shit up.

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 10:52 AM
Mad dogs & englishmen - its hot enough that only maddogs and englishmen are out.

Dayze
06-09-2010, 10:54 AM
My dad used to /still says a lot of these. Most leave you scratching your head, but somehow it gets his point across. Not sure if some of these are ‘country’, but he grew up on a farm for years and sprinkles in random countryness every now and again.

“Drunker than a Hooter’s goat” – extremely drunk
“She’d make a train take a dirt road” - ugly woman
“you’re sh*ttin’ in high cotton” - I think this means things are going very well for you financially
“Up to your a** in alligators” – extremely busy/overwhelmed
“you’re trying to stuff 5lbs of sh*t in a 2 lb bucket” – too much work/overwhelmed
“you’d knock a buzzard off a sh*t wagon” – you stink

Dayze
06-09-2010, 10:54 AM
My mom was raised sharecroppin in South Arkansas. I need to write down some of the shit she says. I don't even think much of it, because I was raised listening to it... but my wife is always dumbfounded by some of the crap that comes out of my mom's mouth.

One of the latest was a "bo-ho-honey-ro" which is basically when you hollow out a biscuit or roll and fill it with honey to eat it. I swear she just makes some of the shit up.

exactly the same with my dad. I need to write down some of his.

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:01 AM
you can catch more flies w/ honey that vinegar - Be nice if you want your way.

Slicker than snot on a glass door knob - youre gettin away with something and/or its cool.

Good scald- youre doin something right - esp. when it come to cooking.

Put a fork in er' (your, its, he,shes) done. - whatever youre cookin is ready to take up. 2- you lose cause you suck.

DeezNutz
06-09-2010, 11:01 AM
"It was kind of warm."--MOHillbilly talking about heatstroke
"I felt the tooth a little."--when MO pulls a tooth with no meds

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:04 AM
as a crow flies - its 3 minutes away as a crow flies.

The shortest distance across country from point A to point B.
Oldtimers said crows fly in a straight line.

Baby Lee
06-09-2010, 11:04 AM
I've always liked Dolly Parton's 'he don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt'

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:07 AM
"It was kind of warm."--MOHillbilly talking about heatstroke
"I felt the tooth a little."--when MO pulls a tooth with no meds

shit and sweat - if you want sympathy its somewhere in the dictionary around shit & sweat.

No blood, no bone, no sympathy- you better be hurt before you complain.

Dont let the screen door hit you in the ass on the way out. - kind of a fuck you dont threaten to leave GTFO already.

Beat you like a redheaded stepchild - even back when the ginger war was strong.

Slap knots on your head and slap em flat - means your momma is gonna whip you hard.

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:09 AM
"screwed up as hogan's goat"
sec

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:10 AM
"wish in one hand. shit in the other"
sec

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:12 AM
"wish in one hand. shit in the other"
sec

see what one fills up the fastest ( my moms favorite)

along with ' if it was a snake itd of bit you ' -

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:12 AM
"hotter than a f@cked sheep in a pepper patch"
sec

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:14 AM
"shakin like a dog shittin peach seads"

"nervous as a whore in church"

sec

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:14 AM
climb on just dont bite off more than you can chew - i call your bluff, bring it, and prepare to die.

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:15 AM
"colder than a well diggers ass"
sec

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:15 AM
"shakin like a dog shittin peach pits"



sec

the way i heard it.

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:16 AM
"happier than a puppy with two peters"
sec

alpha_omega
06-09-2010, 11:17 AM
pert neer - pretty close

Fish
06-09-2010, 11:18 AM
"Shittin and a gettin" - haulin ass

DeezNutz
06-09-2010, 11:18 AM
shit and sweat - if you want sympathy its somewhere in the dictionary around shit & sweat.


I like this one.

ClevelandBronco
06-09-2010, 11:20 AM
My mom was raised sharecroppin in South Arkansas. I need to write down some of the shit she says. I don't even think much of it, because I was raised listening to it... but my wife is always dumbfounded by some of the crap that comes out of my mom's mouth.

One of the latest was a "bo-ho-honey-ro" which is basically when you hollow out a biscuit or roll and fill it with honey to eat it. I swear she just makes some of the shit up.

She's not making that one up. Honey roll (honey-ro') is what is bein' et, and a hobo (bo-ho) is who's eatin' it.

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:20 AM
steppin and fetchin( like your ass is on fire and your head is a catchin) variant- see 'shittin & gettin'.

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:22 AM
your ass is grass, and i'm the lawnmower
sec

Fish
06-09-2010, 11:23 AM
Dumb as a bag of hammers.

Fish
06-09-2010, 11:25 AM
I'll kick your ass up over your ears. - my uncle used that one frequently

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:27 AM
too dumb to pour piss out of a boot, with the instructions written on the heel.
sec

Bob Dole
06-09-2010, 11:28 AM
Drunker 'n Cooter Brown (though nobody can seem to positively identify Cooter Brown)
Cathead biscuit - I biscuit the size of a cat's head

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:28 AM
I'll kick your ass up over your ears. - my uncle used that one frequently

variant- ill kick your ass till shes humped up over you ears.

A bling hog finds a walnut - you got lucky.

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:29 AM
drinkin sow's milk will make you see the wind.
sec

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:29 AM
Dumb as a bag of hammers.


variants-sharp as a marble, dumb as a box of rocks.

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:30 AM
A blind hog finds a walnut - you got lucky.

a broken clock's right twice a day
sec

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:31 AM
drinkin sow's milk will make you see the wind.
sec

explanation.????

Youre gonna be lookin up at the sky wonderin how you got there.

raybec 4
06-09-2010, 11:31 AM
I'll stomp a mud hole in you then I'll walk it dry

shitgoose
06-09-2010, 11:31 AM
"Fuller than a junk yard goat"

"You're fuckin this cat i'm just holdin the tail"

Couple of sayings I picked up from gramps

raybec 4
06-09-2010, 11:31 AM
a broken clock's right twice a day
sec

The sun shines on dogs ass every once in a while

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:32 AM
coons age

WTF does this mean?

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:34 AM
explanation.????

Youre gonna be lookin up at the sky wonderin how you got there.

none really...had an uncle down on current river w/a few sows that pigged. i(small kid) made a statement about the size of their tits. he started squeezing one, trying to talk me into tasting it...told me if i drank some, i'd be able to see the wind.
sec

Boise_Chief
06-09-2010, 11:34 AM
tighter than a german virgin

Used as guedentight when around the women

ex: That nuts tighter than a German virgin.

Bowser
06-09-2010, 11:35 AM
"nervous as a whore in church"

secI always heard it as "Sweatin' like a whore in confession"

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:35 AM
darker than a tomcats asshole
sec

Fish
06-09-2010, 11:35 AM
Don't know shit from Shinola.

shitgoose
06-09-2010, 11:35 AM
Oh yeah "Well shit fire and save matches" was another my dad/gramps always said

Boise_Chief
06-09-2010, 11:36 AM
fu@#en the dog and sellin the pups.

Wasting time

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:36 AM
right smart - somethings good.

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:37 AM
stove up - something hurts bad or bad sick

Boise_Chief
06-09-2010, 11:37 AM
kick this pig.

let's get going.

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:37 AM
i wouldn't piss down his throat if his guts was on fire

wouldn't walk across the street to piss on him

sec

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:38 AM
gnats ass - variant of german virgin.

Boise_Chief
06-09-2010, 11:38 AM
you could tearup an anvil.
you are hard on stuff.

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:38 AM
must have a burr up his ass
sec

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:39 AM
assholes and elbows(i think this means confusion?)
sec

Boise_Chief
06-09-2010, 11:39 AM
We used gnats ass as a small unit of measure.

move it to the left a gnats ass.

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:40 AM
hog wallered - someone or something has been worked over.

Nut cuttin - Its down to nut cuttin time.(love this one)

seclark
06-09-2010, 11:40 AM
We used gnats ass as a small unit of measure.

move it to the left a gnats ass.

c u nt hair
sec

Boise_Chief
06-09-2010, 11:41 AM
assholes and elbows(i think this means confusion?)
sec

Dad used it as work hard. All I want to see is assholes and elbows.

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:41 AM
assholes and elbows(i think this means confusion?)
sec

i always thought of it as a variant of steppin and fetchin. Someone whos become discombobulated, if you will.

Fish
06-09-2010, 11:41 AM
"Crazy as a shithouse rat." I'm not sure why a shithouse rat would be crazy.. but it is...

NewChief
06-09-2010, 11:42 AM
We used gnats ass as a small unit of measure.

move it to the left a gnats ass.

My brother (and all of his construction buddies) use "cunt hair" in the same way when on the job.

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:42 AM
elbow grease - work at it harder.

use some elbow grease on them dishes.

raybec 4
06-09-2010, 11:42 AM
fu@#en the dog and sellin the pups.

Wasting time

I always heard it as dickin the dog but same meaning.

tooge
06-09-2010, 11:42 AM
funnier than a fart in church

a few wipes short of a clean ass

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:44 AM
"Crazy as a shithouse rat." I'm not sure why a shithouse rat would be crazy.. but it is...

and when you are really nuts - crazy as a shithouse rat on a hot tin roof-

Boise_Chief
06-09-2010, 11:44 AM
She's the city well.

She's a slut/

sparkky
06-09-2010, 11:45 AM
quicker than high school sex-getting something done in a hurry (I started that one)

tighter than a 10 year old nun-very frugal with money (I started that one)

hotter than a prom queen-attractive female ready for sex (I started that one)

f@ck me runnin'-disgust or amazment

as broad as she is long-short, overweight woman

useless a tits on a bore hog-totally worthless

shoulda knocked he/she in the head and sold his/her mothers milk-worthless person

makes as much sense as beltloops on depends-stupid deed or idea (I started that one)

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:45 AM
squirrel bait - i was ten before i figured out my uncle was callin me a nut.

Baby Lee
06-09-2010, 11:45 AM
Don't know your head from a hole in the ground.

Nude means you don't have any clothes on, nekkid means you don't have any clothes on and you're up to something.

petegz28
06-09-2010, 11:45 AM
One of my favorites....

"Down the road a piece...."....just down the road a little bit

Fish
06-09-2010, 11:46 AM
"Useless as a turn signal on a train."

tooge
06-09-2010, 11:46 AM
some weathers comin: bout to be some storms

Boise_Chief
06-09-2010, 11:47 AM
you move like old people fu@3. / hurry up or you are moving too slow.

raybec 4
06-09-2010, 11:47 AM
Goin down like a cheerleader on prom night- you're going to lose/fall or get beat up

Tougher than a nickel steak- one bad ass dude

Iowanian
06-09-2010, 11:47 AM
Well I'll be dipped in shit
Hotter than a popcorn fart
tougher than boiled owl shit

petegz28
06-09-2010, 11:48 AM
"We's goin' down yander to the crick"

Boise_Chief
06-09-2010, 11:49 AM
heh I just broke a 1000 posts in 10 years.

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:49 AM
some weathers comin: bout to be some storms

shes/ its gonna blow.

Frazod
06-09-2010, 11:50 AM
Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra on Christmas Sunday morning.

Hungry enough to eat the ass out of a running skunk.

gblowfish
06-09-2010, 11:50 AM
Expressions:
"Well Shit Little Putty Balls..."
"Christ on a Go-Kart...."
My personal favorite: "I'd crawl through a mile of broken glass to hear her fart on a pay phone."
"Queer as a Three Dollar Bill."
"That's the pot callin the kettle black."
"He can't find an ass cheek with either hand."
"Holy Baldheaded Tapdancing Christ...."
"He don't know whether to shit or wind his watch."
"He's got all the rhythm of a German Jazz Band."
"Don't Shit Where You Eat."
"Live it or Live With It."
"She could suck a golf ball thru a garden hose."
"She could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch."
"That smell could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon."
"He's takin the skin boat to tuna town!"
"Well, F*ck me runnin!"

petegz28
06-09-2010, 11:51 AM
'taint nuttin' wrong with that tractor

noa
06-09-2010, 11:51 AM
That boy is built like a brick shithouse.

petegz28
06-09-2010, 11:51 AM
I'm fer it....he's 'gin it

petegz28
06-09-2010, 11:52 AM
is you is or is you ain't

JohninGpt
06-09-2010, 11:53 AM
Hungry enough to eat the ass out of a running skunk.

I heard that one as "mestruating skunk".

petegz28
06-09-2010, 11:53 AM
the old favorite...

"ask yer maw"

petegz28
06-09-2010, 11:54 AM
it's a hootenanny
no, it's a hoedown
no, it's a shindig

JohninGpt
06-09-2010, 11:55 AM
Gonna stomp a mudhole in your ass and stomp it dry.

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:56 AM
dry run - gonna check on something. same as - scope it out.

Gonna make a dry run.

16k

sparkky
06-09-2010, 11:57 AM
I heard that one as "mestruating skunk".

I always use;

north end of a southbound menustratin' moose

petegz28
06-09-2010, 11:57 AM
ya'll go on up to the 5 and dime now and get me a sody wata

petegz28
06-09-2010, 11:59 AM
the obvious...

useless as tits on a boar

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 11:59 AM
cant bite a bisquit,cotton mouth,cant break an egg - refers dogs that have no bite/mouth.
mouth- dogs bite power.

scalded ass mule - angry

sparkky
06-09-2010, 11:59 AM
colder than an ex-wife's heart-no explanation needed for divorced guys

DonTellMeShowMe
06-09-2010, 12:00 PM
dont dip your pen in company ink

petegz28
06-09-2010, 12:00 PM
that boy's a hound dog...........kid's a horny ****er

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 12:02 PM
i may be a fool, but i aint no damn fool.

Hydrae
06-09-2010, 12:03 PM
you can catch more flies w/ honey that vinegar - Be nice if you want your way.


To paraphrase Barney on How I Met Your Mother, you can catch even more with a pile of shit.

petegz28
06-09-2010, 12:03 PM
cornholen'...........yep, cornholen'

petegz28
06-09-2010, 12:04 PM
vittles....food

petegz28
06-09-2010, 12:05 PM
weeeeee doggy!

petegz28
06-09-2010, 12:06 PM
like a coon up a tree.........scared

blaise
06-09-2010, 12:10 PM
You don't know sic 'em.

(meaning you're dumb. It's shortened from 'You don't know sic 'em from come here') I had a hard ass high school teacher that would bark that. "You don't know sic 'em!"

El Jefe
06-09-2010, 12:14 PM
Well I'll be dipped in shit
Hotter than a popcorn fart
tougher than boiled owl shit

Yea I've heard that one. My grandpa always said "You're like a fart in a skillet". Ive also heard "That aint worth a plug nickel" a lot as a kid.

El Jefe
06-09-2010, 12:15 PM
vittles....food

Them some good lookin vittles you got there.

blaise
06-09-2010, 12:20 PM
I notice people in the midwest and Texas say "whenever" when people in other parts of the country just use, "when".
"Whenever I was at the store last night I saw Joe."

And when I lived in Pennsylvania people said "How's come?" instead of "How come?"

Also, when I grew up in Upstate NY we would say "I shot it in the trash" if we threw something in the trash. Some people in PA I worked with told me they'd never heard that before. I thought everyone said that.

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 12:21 PM
fatter than a june tick.

Smoke
06-09-2010, 12:59 PM
Since God was a boy.....He's been our mailman since God was a boy.

I swear you would agrue with a fence post.

Smoke
06-09-2010, 01:01 PM
Enuff money to burn a wet mule...Got more money than you can spend

Hotter than two rats screwin' in a wool sock.

PhillyChiefFan
06-09-2010, 01:45 PM
Nuttier than squirrel sh*t.

RJ
06-09-2010, 01:49 PM
"shakin like a dog shittin peach seads"

"nervous as a whore in church"

sec


Heh, two of my favorites.

RJ
06-09-2010, 01:55 PM
Haven't read the thread, but....

"Finer'n frog's hair" and "finer'n a frog's hair split two ways".

One my grandma always used...."If the good Lord's willin' and the creek don't rise".

Alabaman translations -

Jeet jet? (did you eat yet?)

squeat (let's go eat)

RJ
06-09-2010, 01:57 PM
One I never understood.....

"She'd bitch if you hung her with a new rope"

I sort of get it, but not completely.

rockymtnchief
06-09-2010, 02:02 PM
"She's uglier than a smashed bag of assholes".

"He didn't know whether to shit or go blind. So he shut one eye and farted". - State of confusion.

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 02:09 PM
older than dirt - been around since dirt was new -

petegz28
06-09-2010, 02:13 PM
Haven't read the thread, but....

"Finer'n frog's hair" and "finer'n a frog's hair split two ways".

One my grandma always used...."If the good Lord's willin' and the creek don't rise".

Alabaman translations -

Jeet jet? (did you eat yet?)

squeat (let's go eat)

You left out "sgo" (lets go)

Dartgod
06-09-2010, 02:13 PM
He went to shit and the hogs ate him.

raybec 4
06-09-2010, 02:34 PM
He went to shit and the hogs ate him.

My grandma used that one

bowener
06-09-2010, 03:07 PM
?
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005AG5I.jpg

MOhillbilly
06-09-2010, 03:10 PM
that took long enough.

asdf
06-09-2010, 04:37 PM
'plowin cabbage' - getting laid

BigMeatballDave
06-09-2010, 04:53 PM
Handsome.

When your mouth gets tired, use your handsome.

BigOlChiefsfan
06-09-2010, 05:23 PM
"Fixin' to" = preparing. "You're fixin' to get your ass whupped if you don't wash them dishes, child"

"That's shinier than a diamond in a goat's butt" (My dad's favorite)

'Skillet licker' - a worthless dog or anything worthless

"That dog won't hunt" something that doesn't work or won't do it's job

"Hotter than a $2 pistol" warm

"Colder than a witch's tit" Chilly

"Freeze the balls off a brass monkey!" Very cold

"more fun than a hog killing!" I only hear this in The Wild Bunch - but hog killing must be a lot more fun for other folks than it is for me. "more work than a hog killing" is more like it.

GoHuge
06-10-2010, 11:53 AM
He couldn't find his ass if he sat on a mirror......grade A Dumbass

Queer as a football bat......really queer.

Hand smells like a refugee boat....dirty girl or you've been organizing fish bait.

Eat shit because 20 trillion flies can't be wrong........everyone thinks something is right because alot of people think so.

Show me your tooth.........dealing with a hillbillie.

If you wanna get me started open the choke and pull the cord.

boogblaster
06-10-2010, 11:57 AM
and ther .. sentence done

ChiTown
06-10-2010, 11:58 AM
That boys as clumsy as a 3-legged dog trying to take a shit on a frozen pond....... (my Dad describing half of our 3rd grade baseball team)

gblowfish
06-10-2010, 12:14 PM
"Beaten like a red headed stepchild."
"Hanging in there like a Mexican Welterweight."
"Dumber than a box of rocks."
"Writin' Checks with Your Mouth that your Ass Can't Cash."
'Busier than a one armed paper hanger."
"I'm getting flustrated (if you're Herm Edwards)"
"You Can't Make Chicken Salad out of Chicken Shit."
"Everything's Going to Hell in a Handbasket!"
"I'm So Broke I Can't Pay Attention."
"Six of One, Half-Dozen of the Other."
"Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."
"Gotta Pay the Band If You Wanna Dance."
"Were You Born in a Barn? (shut the door please)"
"Don't piss down my back and tell me it's rainin!"
"Useless as Balls on a Priest."
"It's a toad strangler" (really hard rain)
"Don't get your panties in a bunch!"
"Good God a Mighty, For the Love of Mike, I'm Fixing To Go Jump In the Lake, I Reckon! It Don't Make No Never Mind No How, and You Ain't whistlin Dixie!"
"Does a Bear Shit in the Woods?"

shitgoose
06-10-2010, 02:53 PM
Sinceyouwas. Sinceyouwas up get me a beer
Posted via Mobile Device

tmax63
06-10-2010, 03:15 PM
To get ahead you gotta get a little behind first
She rode him like a rented mule
be good, good at it or name it after me

Tylerthigpen!1!
06-10-2010, 03:21 PM
Slapdick
Grabass
Ticklebutt

Those are my favorites

CoMoChief
06-10-2010, 03:30 PM
"That's the cat's ass!!!"

-my dad


have no fucking clue what it means

Jethopper
06-10-2010, 05:00 PM
"Boy you look like the south end of a northbound donkey." = You're ugly

Groves
06-10-2010, 07:10 PM
When someone wants to see "asses and elbows", what they're commanding is to stop messin around and start work hard.

rad
06-10-2010, 08:49 PM
"You look like you were rode hard an' put away wet"- you look like shit.

rad
06-10-2010, 08:54 PM
"shit or get off the pot"- just do it already.

Boon
06-10-2010, 10:36 PM
Shining like a diamond in a goat's ass - Real shiny
Sweet in the ass like a honeybee - Homosexual
I may have been born yesterday, but I was up all night. - I may be young but I ain't stupid.

stevieray
06-10-2010, 11:01 PM
too big for yer britches

BWillie
06-11-2010, 12:18 AM
down down baby your street in a range rover...boom boom boom

AZORChiefFan
06-11-2010, 01:05 AM
Now who's ass is the blackest?

Worthless as tits on a boar hog.

IF - a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass a hoppin'

IF - my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle.

Inspector
06-11-2010, 07:18 AM
Zup?

(What's up?)

El Jefe
06-11-2010, 11:41 AM
One I never understood.....

"She'd bitch if you hung her with a new rope"

I sort of get it, but not completely.

Old timers up here say that a lot, just saying she would never be happy, always find something to complain about.

Simply Red
06-11-2010, 11:43 AM
my friends and I always say 'that's it' in our best country/southern accent. Meaning: 'that's right' -or- 'you got it' ----- it's not that funny, but it's funny to us, i guess. :/

gblowfish
06-11-2010, 11:56 AM
"I didn't just fall off the turnip truck."
"He's four sheets to the wind."
"Crazier than a shithouse Rat!"

bogey
06-11-2010, 01:01 PM
You left out "sgo" (lets go)

jeetchet? whajav? what did you have?

My favorite...
Hangin' in there like a hair on a cheesburger. it means I'm doing fine.