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View Full Version : Poop Know your Kearney


LaChapelle
06-23-2010, 05:29 PM
So...
You go on a absinthe binder and wake up in the drunk tank knotted in one of Dunit35's huskies(under the careful observation of the local vet of course). The judge for some reason known only to him, sentences you to go be a carny at the state fair for two weeks.

What job do you choose?

Gonzo
06-23-2010, 05:55 PM
Are you going to be a Carnie in Kearney? I wouldn't wish that shit-hole on even the lowliest of carnie. Well, except for the tilt-a-whirl guy, he's a dick.
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Just Passin' By
06-23-2010, 06:02 PM
Racist clown seems to be the way to go.

Reaper16
06-23-2010, 06:07 PM
MO or NE?

Pablo
06-23-2010, 06:08 PM
Weight guesser.

Then I just tack on 40 pounds to every woman that comes up.

ChiefsCountry
06-23-2010, 06:09 PM
I dated a girl from Kearney in college.

88TG88
06-23-2010, 06:19 PM
?
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/fi/thumb/6/6d/Kearney_simpsons.gif/150px-Kearney_simpsons.gif

Baconeater
06-23-2010, 06:20 PM
MO or NE?
God help you if it's NE.

Gonzo
06-23-2010, 06:24 PM
God help you if it's NE.
They have an expensive, inaccessible, giant paperweight stretching over I-80, you know.
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Phobia
06-23-2010, 06:48 PM
I would like to be the bearded lady.

RJ
06-23-2010, 06:49 PM
Jim Kearney?

RJ
06-23-2010, 06:52 PM
Oh, now I understand.

Ok, I go for toothless, shirtless, meth head guy who runs the ferris wheel.

Phobia
06-23-2010, 07:00 PM
Oh, now I understand.

Ok, I go for toothless, shirtless, meth head guy who runs the ferris wheel.

Do you really have to specify toothless & meth?

RJ
06-23-2010, 07:07 PM
Do you really have to specify toothless & meth?


You're right, that was redundant.

How about child molesting meth head?

Nah. Still the same problem, huh?

Groves
06-23-2010, 07:19 PM
I spent 14 years in Kearney, NE.

I loved it. Great people. Great fishin. Great hunting. Quality Life.

Their carnivals left something to be desired, but you can't have everything.

Gonzo
06-23-2010, 07:24 PM
I spent 14 years in Kearney, NE.

I loved it. Great people. Great fishin. Great hunting. Quality Life.

Their carnivals left something to be desired, but you can't have everything.

I think they do the state fair there now so you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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Baconeater
06-23-2010, 07:28 PM
I spent 14 years in Kearney, NE.

I loved it. Great people. Great fishin. Great hunting. Quality Life.

Their carnivals left something to be desired, but you can't have everything.
Weren't you instructed not to talk about that after you left? The last thing we need is for that type of information to get out and have this state filling up with Beakers and MUrons wanting a piece of The Good Life.

DJ's left nut
06-23-2010, 08:01 PM
I spent 14 years in Kearney, NE.

I loved it. Great people. Great fishin. Great hunting. Quality Life.

Their carnivals left something to be desired, but you can't have everything.

Grandparents still live there.

Cabellas is out there and they have a surprisingly large number of pools/parks. They also seem to specialize in hotels/convention centers, so there's a fair amount of stuff for business travelers.

You could do a hell of a lot worse for a small town. I'd take it over Kearney, MO.

Groves
06-23-2010, 08:10 PM
Weren't you instructed not to talk about that after you left? The last thing we need is for that type of information to get out and have this state filling up with Beakers and MUrons wanting a piece of The Good Life.


They didn't have a stellar exit interview, but the welcome wagon package was outstanding!

Free beef. Free cookies. Free work on your car. Deep discounts everywhere.

That was one full envelope of love. They did a good job with that.

The state fair is in Grand Island, not Kearney.

kcfan82
06-23-2010, 08:11 PM
God help you if it's NE.

HEY

Go easy on my hometown.

Rain Man
06-23-2010, 09:46 PM
Oh, now I understand.

Ok, I go for toothless, shirtless, meth head guy who runs the ferris wheel.


This is what I'd go for, because you can stand under the Ferris Wheel and watch the women in dresses.

RJ
06-23-2010, 10:01 PM
This is what I'd go for, because you can stand under the Ferris Wheel and watch the women in dresses.


Yep, that's what I'd do. I'd stand underneath the ferris wheel and smoke weed and look up the girl's skirts. I don't want one of those office jobs where I gotta wear a tie and stuff. I want a job that gives a man some freedom. The ferris wheel operator is sort of a modern day cowboy if you ask me.

Rain Man
06-23-2010, 10:06 PM
Yep, that's what I'd do. I'd stand underneath the ferris wheel and smoke weed and look up the girl's skirts. I don't want one of those office jobs where I gotta wear a tie and stuff. I want a job that gives a man some freedom. The ferris wheel operator is sort of a modern day cowboy if you ask me.


Some say it's the last great refuge of the renaissance man.

patteeu
06-23-2010, 11:27 PM
I was expecting some Jesse James trivia.

Reaper16
06-24-2010, 12:16 AM
Only one Kearney has a Movie Gallery that goes out of business at the end of business hours today. That'd be the one in Kearney, MO, and I've already raped it of like 40 DVDs and Blu-rays.

T-post Tom
06-24-2010, 12:32 AM
So...
You go on a absinthe binder and wake up in the drunk tank knotted in one of Dunit35's huskies(under the careful observation of the local vet of course). The judge for some reason known only to him, sentences you to go be a carny at the state fair for two weeks.

What job do you choose?

Only 2 weeks? Hmmmm....what job...hmmm....

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