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Tactical Funky
06-24-2010, 08:14 PM
That's the last time I have two packets of oatmeal for breakfast. Hell, even my dog is offended. She usually sits right next to/under my office chair, but today she's nowhere to be seen in my immediate vicinity. :D

So, what gives you the gas?

Fritz88
06-24-2010, 08:21 PM
Food.

Tactical Funky
06-24-2010, 08:23 PM
Food.
LMAO

I feel for your friends and family.

BigRichard
06-24-2010, 09:43 PM
Apples for some reason.

LaChapelle
06-24-2010, 09:57 PM
The Oates had you looking for a Bunker
because things were going Black in Centerville

luv
06-24-2010, 10:36 PM
Coffee, for some odd reason.

luv
06-25-2010, 12:20 AM
Is it bad that I didn't know what this thread was really about until the question was posed? :doh!:

googlegoogle
06-25-2010, 12:20 AM
crop dusting = flying plane?

booger
06-25-2010, 12:23 AM
pabst and brauts tonite sure is stinkin the place up

booger
06-25-2010, 12:25 AM
it's about what makes you fart you ****ing fartnockers!!!11!!

Crush
06-25-2010, 01:55 AM
... but Lucas's field is on the other side of town!!!!

Independence Day reference. Motherfuckers. Represent.

gblowfish
06-25-2010, 10:49 AM
Crop Dusting Fuel:
6 deviled eggs
steamed broccoli
Zarda's BBQ Beans
7-11 Microwave Burrito
Cheap Yard Beer (Pabst, Schlitz, Natty Light, Busch)
Mix Well, consume, germinate for about an hour.
Keep a fire extinguisher handy.

Note: True crop dusting is generally done in a cube farm. Hence the term.

Otter
06-25-2010, 10:51 AM
Coffee, for some odd reason.

Do you go heavy on sugar or cream?

Where does fart gas come from?

The gas in our intestines comes from several sources: air we swallow, gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, gas produced by chemical reactions in our guts, and gas produced by bacteria living in our guts.

What is fart gas made of?

The composition of fart gas is highly variable.

Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed by the body before the gas gets into the intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane.

But the relative proportions of these gases that emerge from our anal opening depend on several factors: what we ate, how much air we swallowed, what kinds of bacteria we have in our intestines, and how long we hold in the fart.

The longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of inert nitrogen it contains, because the other gases tend to be absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the intestine.

A nervous person who swallows a lot of air and who moves stuff through his digestive system rapidly may have a lot of oxygen in his farts, because his body didn't have time to absorb the oxygen.

According to Dr. James L. A. Roth, the author of Gastrointestinal Gas (Ch. 17 in Gastroenterology, v. 4, 1976) most people (2/3 of adults) pass farts that contain no methane. If both parents are methane producers, their children have a 95% chance of being producers as well. The reason for this is apparently unknown. Some researchers suspect a genetic influence, whereas others think the ability is due to environmental factors. However, all methane in any farts comes from bacterial action and not from human cells.

What makes farts stink?

The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur. Nitrogen-rich compounds such as skatole and indole also add to the stench of farts. The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky farts.

Why do farts make noise?

The sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening. Sounds depend on the velocity of expulsion of the gas and the tightness of the sphincter muscles of the anus. Contrary to a popular misconception, fart noise is not generated by the flapping of the butt cheeks. You can see proof of this in the close-up video footage of Carl Plant's fart on Mate-in-a-State .

Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts?

Most fart gas comes from swallowed air and consists largely of nitrogen and carbon dioxide, the oxygen having been absorbed by the time it reaches the anal opening. These gases are odorless, although they often pick up other (and more odiferous) components on the way through the bowel. They emerge from the anus in fairly large bubbles at body temperature. A person can often achieve a good sound with these voluminous farts, but they are commonly (but not always!) mundane with respect to odor, and don't feel particularly warm.

Another major source of fart gas is bacterial action. Bacterial fermentation and digestion processes produce heat as a byproduct as well as various pungent gases. The resulting bubbles of gas tend to be small, hot, and concentrated with stinky bacterial metabolic products. These emerge as the notorious, warm, SBD (Silent-But-Deadly), often in amounts too small to produce a good sound, but excelling in stench.

boogblaster
06-25-2010, 10:53 AM
is this a fart thread or can we go with a full poop ..

Crush
06-25-2010, 10:54 AM
is this a fart thread or can we go with a full poop ..

Depends on the fiber content.

seclark
06-25-2010, 10:54 AM
oatmeal beer & hard boiled eggs.
talk about a ride.
sec

chefsos
06-25-2010, 12:26 PM
You can see proof of this in the close-up video footage of Carl Plant's fart on Mate-in-a-State .Don't know about the rest of you, but I'm never watching that. Ever.

LaChapelle
06-25-2010, 12:32 PM
is this a fart thread or can we go with a full poop ..

It started out as a Skidmore
but looks to skip Maitland
and go full Mound City