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Rain Man
07-11-2010, 06:49 PM
Hypothetical: Aliens arrive on earth. They're not hostile, and reasonably friendly. They're here to do the Intergalactic Census, and they won't come back around until 2020 once they're done (other than home visits for those of you who won't fill out your form).

What would you most want these aliens to look like? For polling purposes, your options are:


100% humanoid - Indistinguishable from humans

90% humanoid - Your typical Star Trek alien. 2 arms, 2 legs, looks human other than something like a prominent brow ridge or weird ears or some other clearly identifiable difference.

60% humanoid - More like a Star Wars alien. Might be blue with a big coiled trunk on their heads and three legs, or eight feet tall with one eye and antennae or something. However, they still follow the basic human model of having a head and torso and limbs in the usual spots. Jar Jar Binks, Yoda, those guys on The Simpsons, and others would fall into this category. They're more human than anything else, but fundamentally different.

Mammaloid - Think non-primate, but you can point to something in Earth's animal kingdom and say, "It looks like that." So again, the basic Earth blue print, but it reminds you more of an animal than a person. Giant kangaroos or cats or cows or something.

Animaloid - Same as above, but it's not a mammal you're reminded of. Think frogs or birds or fish or something. Those Star Wars fish people are an example. (Not insects, though. See below.)

Insectoid - The biggest resemblance on Earth would be insects. Ants, spiders, bees, whatever. Think exoskeleton. The aliens in the movie Alien might fall into this category.

Non-standard - Something fundamentally different than you'd see on earth, but still recognizable as ... a creature of some sort with flesh. Maybe round with six legs and a big periscoping eye up the middle, or a big fleshy sphere with sensing strips.

Exotic - Something that you wouldn't even recognize as a sentient being if they didn't tell you first. A gas cloud, a big stick that levitates and has no obvious sensory organs, or an oozing puddle of inviscid fluid.

Rudy lost the toss
07-11-2010, 06:51 PM
aliens that put out

Rain Man
07-11-2010, 06:53 PM
aliens that put out


I actually pondered a "blonde supervixen" option, but figured it would ruin the poll.

Count Zarth
07-11-2010, 06:57 PM
I like the star trek look.

Human enough to look nonthreatening, yet not human enough to look like Vs.

Perfect alien look = Vorta. Different, exotic, yet not scary.

http://img.webring.com/r/v/vorta/logo

Kraus
07-11-2010, 06:59 PM
The blue lesbian ones:

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teedubya
07-11-2010, 06:59 PM
Hispanic ladies.

Reaper16
07-11-2010, 07:07 PM
http://scifitvzone.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/V-Morena-7.jpg

THAT is an alien that I would willingly become a slave to.

KcMizzou
07-11-2010, 07:10 PM
http://www.sf-radio.net/farscape/charaktere/bilder/chiana.jpg

http://powet.tv/powetblog/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/aeryn1.jpg

sedated
07-11-2010, 07:13 PM
I prefer the non-threatening image of a giant taco that sh!ts ice cream

<img src="http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/non-human/najix-the-ice-cream-crapping-taco.jpg">

Param
07-11-2010, 07:16 PM
http://osck.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/itb2-0002.jpg

I'll fook her hard and make tons of lizard babies!

RJ
07-11-2010, 07:23 PM
I'm going with insectoid but it's a tough call.

Rain Man. this is one of your finest polls ever and I can't wait to see the outcome.

RJ
07-11-2010, 07:24 PM
I prefer the non-threatening image of a giant taco that sh!ts ice cream

<img src="http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/non-human/najix-the-ice-cream-crapping-taco.jpg">


You call a giant taco non-threatening?

Is your fucking fear meter broken?

KcMizzou
07-11-2010, 07:26 PM
You call a giant taco non-threatening?

Is your fucking fear meter broken?I figure I'd be more of a threat to him, than he would be to me.

mmmmm, giant taco.

Sweet Daddy Hate
07-11-2010, 07:29 PM
Female humanoids who love man-juice like Peg Bundy loves Bon-Bon's.

Predarat
07-11-2010, 07:30 PM
Any alien that would hang out at the Mos Eisley Cantina or the hot chick aliens.

RJ
07-11-2010, 07:35 PM
I figure I'd be more of a threat to him, than he would be to me.

mmmmm, giant taco.


Are you kidding me? You'd barely be into his shredded cheese before he would crush you with his giant taco feet.

Gadzooks
07-11-2010, 07:36 PM
I don't know whether to vote for "Non-Standard" or "Other".

Rain Man
07-11-2010, 07:40 PM
In retrospect, another good option would have been something like, "Appearance of very attractive human female, but a carrier of severe incurable and highly transferable sexually transmitted disease".

Rain Man
07-11-2010, 07:41 PM
I went with mammaloid, by the way. I'm intrigued by the concept of greeting an alien civilization of kangaroooids or raccoonoids.

KcMizzou
07-11-2010, 07:46 PM
Are you kidding me? You'd barely be into his shredded cheese before he would crush you with his giant taco feet.Admittedly, I hadn't considered taco feet.

Rain Man
07-11-2010, 07:47 PM
I'm curious about the people who picked 100% humanoid. Is it because you think it'd be cool, or is it because there are other big implications if they show up and are indistinguishable from us?

Sweet Daddy Hate
07-11-2010, 07:48 PM
Admittedly, I hadn't considered taco feet.

LMAO

Rain Man
07-11-2010, 07:49 PM
Admittedly, I hadn't considered taco feet.

I would've guessed the feet to be more along the lines of taquitos.


If the aliens really were tacos, it'd be kind of unfortunate, because they'd be leaving sour cream everywhere along their trail. It would be neat at first, but the novelty would wear off fast.

Sweet Daddy Hate
07-11-2010, 07:50 PM
I'm curious about the people who picked 100% humanoid. Is it because you think it'd be cool, or is it because there are other big implications if they show up and are indistinguishable from us?

Ol' dad's just not as adventurous as he used to be...

Sweet Daddy Hate
07-11-2010, 07:51 PM
I would've guessed the feet to be more along the lines of taquitos.


If the aliens really were tacos, it'd be kind of unfortunate, because they'd be leaving sour cream everywhere along their trail. It would be neat at first, but the novelty would wear off fast.

Especially in the summer heat.

KcMizzou
07-11-2010, 07:51 PM
I would've guessed the feet to be more along the lines of taquitos.


If the aliens really were tacos, it'd be kind of unfortunate, because they'd be leaving sour cream everywhere along their trail. It would be neat at first, but the novelty would wear off fast.A sour cream snail trail. Interesting.

notorious
07-11-2010, 07:52 PM
I'm curious about the people who picked 100% humanoid. Is it because you think it'd be cool, or is it because there are other big implications if they show up and are indistinguishable from us?

Visitors!


Kill the reptilian bastards!

Hog Farmer
07-11-2010, 07:54 PM
In retrospect, another good option would have been something like, "Appearance of very attractive human female, but a carrier of severe incurable and highly transferable sexually transmitted disease".

I'd still take that option and a box of condoms.

notorious
07-11-2010, 07:54 PM
Oh, wait. Farscape Peacekeepers were 100%ers. Talk about some hot ass.

Baconeater
07-11-2010, 07:55 PM
I was thinking inviscid fluid ftw until I saw the Giant Taco.

RJ
07-11-2010, 07:58 PM
Admittedly, I hadn't considered taco feet.

Let that be a lesson to you.

Mr. Laz
07-11-2010, 07:58 PM
60-90%

human enough to bang but alien enough to bring some exotic fun

KcMizzou
07-11-2010, 08:00 PM
Oh, wait. Farscape Peacekeepers were 100%ers. Talk about some hot ass.Aeryn Sun..... unfff.

See post #8

notorious
07-11-2010, 08:01 PM
Aeryn Sun..... unfff.

See post #8

Caught it after the post. Rep has already been sent. :)


I liked the PK Tech Girl. She was very nice, too.

RJ
07-11-2010, 08:02 PM
60-90%

human enough to bang but alien enough to bring some exotic fun


Are you implying I can't bang an insectoid?

Is it because the parts don't fit or because you don't understand the attraction?

I suppose you'd also deny me and my insectoid the same rights as other married couples?

JFC, this thread will be moved to DC in no time.

Rain Man
07-11-2010, 08:04 PM
Are you implying I can't bang an insectoid?

Is it because the parts don't fit or because you don't understand the attraction?

I suppose you'd also deny me and my insectoid the same rights as other married couples?

JFC, this thread will be moved to DC in no time.



You want to take the chance on paying child support for 100,000 children? No thanks.

KcMizzou
07-11-2010, 08:06 PM
You want to take the chance on paying child support for 100,000 children? No thanks.LMAO

That's a valid point.

Rain Man
07-11-2010, 08:06 PM
I'm shocked at the low number of mammaloid votes. Giant squirrels, friendly bears, regal antelopians, the possibilities are boundless, and you know they're going to be adorable (other than maybe the opossumoids).

JD10367
07-11-2010, 08:07 PM
I don't prefer any aliens. If they don't have their green card, send 'em back across the fucking border.

Wait. I might make an exception for the green-skinned hot chick from "Star Trek". Preferably the new version played by Rachel Nichols.

notorious
07-11-2010, 08:08 PM
I'm shocked at the low number of mammaloid votes. Giant squirrels, friendly bears, regal antelopians, the possibilities are boundless, and you know they're going to be adorable (other than maybe the opossumoids).

Are "Critters" considered Animaloids or Mammaloids?



"Critters" are very humorous, but hardly adorable.

Just Passin' By
07-11-2010, 08:09 PM
I went with mammaloid, by the way. I'm intrigued by the concept of greeting an alien civilization of kangaroooids or raccoonoids.

http://cdn1.ioffer.com/img/item/618/846/6/o_xZFn2whGtiokE06.jpg

notorious
07-11-2010, 08:10 PM
http://cdn1.ioffer.com/img/item/618/846/6/o_xZFn2whGtiokE06.jpg

Multi-trunked AK-47 wielding elephants = EPIC WIN

KcMizzou
07-11-2010, 08:12 PM
Multi-trunked AK-47 wielding elephants = EPIC WINYeah, it's hard to imagine anything more badass. LMAO

I would read that book. Or watch the movie on SciFi.

Rain Man
07-11-2010, 08:14 PM
I read that book, but I think my cover had the elephants parachuting to earth. Maybe I'm remembering that wrong. Niven and Pournelle are great together.

Off topic, but I have no idea how two people can co-author a fiction book. It seems like that would be very hard to pull off without hating each other.

notorious
07-11-2010, 08:14 PM
Yeah, it's hard to imagine anything more badass. LMAO

The elephant is holding a mirror in one of his trunks. Smart.


Plus he is checking out the chick! ROFL

Rain Man
07-11-2010, 08:17 PM
The elephant is holding a mirror in one of his trunks. Smart.


Plus he is checking out the chick! ROFL



My god, you're right.

The ultimate badass elephantoid alien. He's still checking out the woman in the midst of a gun battle. Perhaps we need a new dark-horse (dark-pachyderm) entry in the herolympics.

notorious
07-11-2010, 08:18 PM
Perhaps we need a new dark-horse (dark-pachyderm) entry in the herolympics.

This.

KcMizzou
07-11-2010, 08:20 PM
The elephant is holding a mirror in one of his trunks. Smart.


Plus he is checking out the chick! ROFLI didn't even catch that. Pure Awesome.

Frankie
07-11-2010, 08:39 PM
What's your preferred alien?

...

notorious
07-11-2010, 08:40 PM
Two places to motorboat.

Sweet Daddy Hate
07-11-2010, 08:41 PM
Two places to motorboat.

Decisions, decisions...

Frankie
07-11-2010, 08:44 PM
60-90%

That was my thought too. More around 80% which should have been Rain Man's second option (instead of 90%).

sd4chiefs
07-11-2010, 08:45 PM
resistance is futile

notorious
07-11-2010, 08:46 PM
resistance is futile

She is hot, but human.

Sweet Daddy Hate
07-11-2010, 08:49 PM
She is hot, but human.

And the fucking problem is?:D

Frankie
07-11-2010, 08:50 PM
My second preferred alien:

http://arealiensreal.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/star-trek-green-alien-woman.jpg]

Bwana
07-11-2010, 08:50 PM
Bring it!

http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q29/gruffwolf/IMG_1116.jpg

Count Zarth
07-11-2010, 08:52 PM
It has been brought.

http://firstin.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/predator.jpg

Pablo
07-11-2010, 08:53 PM
That machine-gun elephant is bad-ass.

I want those to take over our planet.

Demonpenz
07-11-2010, 08:54 PM
You want to take the chance on paying child support for 100,000 children? No thanks.

win

LaChapelle
07-11-2010, 08:55 PM
Sabula Chloride Coldwater Vulcan
Silva Des Arc Lodi Cascade :spock:
Missouri Rand McNally O -17&18

HotRoute
07-11-2010, 09:01 PM
How about this ?

http://www.fatally-yours.com/wp-content/uploads/illegalaliens__Small_.jpg

Frankie
07-11-2010, 10:58 PM
You want to take the chance on paying child support for 100,000 children? No thanks.

ROFL

cdcox
07-11-2010, 11:08 PM
Post 49

A friend of mine says "I have two drinks every day because drinks are similar to breasts on a woman. One isn't enough and three are too many."

greg63
07-11-2010, 11:57 PM
The ones with the really big eyes.

T-post Tom
07-12-2010, 12:12 AM
"Wonder Twins Activate: Shape of a man-sized vagina!"

The Pedestrian
07-12-2010, 12:46 AM
Definitely would want to see a non-standard alien. I could see exotic on Futurama or the Sci-Fi channel...non-standard is probably the only alien type here that gets too creatively-built for us to put on TV.

boogblaster
07-12-2010, 09:15 AM
im goin witf da two vigina female aliens

RockChalk
07-12-2010, 10:28 AM
I prefer them to be most like the aliens in Signs. So maybe 60%? For whatever reason, this part still freaks me out a bit.

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