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View Full Version : Life An open letter to Buck


TinyEvel
07-14-2010, 05:35 PM
Dear buck, BuckinKeading, Matt, etc...

I love you Buck. You are like the girl I would kiss and then punch and throw in a well. I mean, I would love to cornhole you and then go full Mel Gibson on your ass via cel phone and text message then post pics of you throwing up in your prom dress on FaceBook, then I would call you the next morning and ask if you'd like to go for waffles and try to get a BJ in the car on the way home.

I love you and hate you at the same time. You are hot but also ugly. You have shitty breath and only one good tit, while the other one with the mole on it is still OK but not really pic-worthy. I will exhaust myself trying to take one-tit pics of you.

I put up with you because I like to keep you around so I can tell my friends you take it up the ass, even though you don't. And on occasion you show up looking pretty good but always end up getting too drunk and embarrassing yourself and I have to take you home and hold your hair while you vomit in the pan my dad drains his Chevy oil in out back behind the garage and I have to ask the nosey neighbors to go back inside their house -- that it's nothing -- just a sick friend who got car sick and whose barf just happens to smell like peach schnapps.

I love the way you snort when you laugh and hate the way you snort when you sleep. I want to buy you something from Victoria Secret catalogue but then throw it in the garbage when it arrives because I don't want you knowing that I am that into you. However I will sniff it and whack off to it before I throw it away. Did I say that out loud?

I want to make you a breakup tape and then play it while I f*ck you for two minutes and hold you for 58 minutes. I want to take you to Arby's get an ARBY-Q and two packets of Horsey sauce. When you eat the ARBY-Q I'll make sperm jokes with the horsey sauce, trying to blow it all over your chin (I would also get a Jamoca shake but that has nothing to do with this little game, just that they are awesome and refreshing)

Your pathetic false superiority keeps me coming back for more, kind of like a meth addict who loves an alcoholic. Both flawed in different ways. The blind leading the deaf.

I would write you poetry with misspellings and grammatical errors on the top of a pizza box. I would not recycle but then complain about the BP oil spill. I don't give a f*ck about the whales. I do care about the Hoot Owl, only because in some connected way I think it has to do with the longevity of Hooters, which must be preserved at all costs.

I like that you're a fighter and you say what's on your mind. I'd like to keep this going and see where it goes. I just got promoted from assistant night manager to assistant to the night manager. I think I could maybe afford a two-bedroom if my cousin Stu rents the extra room. I can do this.

Let's ride.

bevischief
07-14-2010, 05:36 PM
wtf?

btlook1
07-14-2010, 05:40 PM
Nice rant!

OnTheWarpath58
07-14-2010, 05:42 PM
You have time to post this, but not time to respond to my PM on FB?

Son, I am disappoint.

Pestilence
07-14-2010, 05:43 PM
LMAO

KCUnited
07-14-2010, 05:44 PM
You didn't really fight in 'Nam, did ya "John"?

Bill Parcells
07-14-2010, 05:49 PM
Tiny Fails!

Mr. Flopnuts
07-14-2010, 05:50 PM
That was fucking awesome. I want to fuck Buck even more now!

Ebolapox
07-14-2010, 07:49 PM
ROFL

that was brilliant. son, I am overjoy.

KurtCobain
07-14-2010, 07:51 PM
I need Buck in my life.

Deberg_1990
07-14-2010, 07:58 PM
This thread is an odd combination of homo and erotic....

Strange...
Posted via Mobile Device

MahiMike
07-14-2010, 07:58 PM
Welllllll.....isn't that special?

RJ
07-14-2010, 08:15 PM
Hey Tiny, congrats on the promotion!


:toast:

Baconeater
07-14-2010, 08:20 PM
*Wanders into thread*

*Looks around*

*Backs out slowly*

milkman
07-14-2010, 08:20 PM
Tiny, you are one weirdass motherfucker.

sedated
07-14-2010, 08:22 PM
someone's drunk.


(besides me)

RedNeckRaider
07-14-2010, 08:25 PM
*Wanders into thread*

*Looks around*

*Backs out slowly*

I done did had been had :spock:

BillSelfsTrophycase
07-14-2010, 08:28 PM
http://trollcats.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/wtf_trollcat.jpg

ChiefaRoo
07-14-2010, 08:31 PM
Dear buck, BuckinKeading, Matt, etc...

I love you Buck. You are like the girl I would kiss and then punch and throw in a well. I mean, I would love to cornhole you and then go full Mel Gibson on your ass via cel phone and text message then post pics of you throwing up in your prom dress on FaceBook, then I would call you the next morning and ask if you'd like to go for waffles and try to get a BJ in the car on the way home.

I love you and hate you at the same time. You are hot but also ugly. You have shitty breath and only one good tit, while the other one with the mole on it is still OK but not really pic-worthy. I will exhaust myself trying to take one-tit pics of you.

I put up with you because I like to keep you around so I can tell my friends you take it up the ass, even though you don't. And on occasion you show up looking pretty good but always end up getting too drunk and embarrassing yourself and I have to take you home and hold your hair while you vomit in the pan my dad drains his Chevy oil in out back behind the garage and I have to ask the nosey neighbors to go back inside their house -- that it's nothing -- just a sick friend who got car sick and whose barf just happens to smell like peach schnapps.

I love the way you snort when you laugh and hate the way you snort when you sleep. I want to buy you something from Victoria Secret catalogue but then throw it in the garbage when it arrives because I don't want you knowing that I am that into you. However I will sniff it and whack off to it before I throw it away. Did I say that out loud?

I want to make you a breakup tape and then play it while I f*ck you for two minutes and hold you for 58 minutes. I want to take you to Arby's get an ARBY-Q and two packets of Horsey sauce. When you eat the ARBY-Q I'll make sperm jokes with the horsey sauce, trying to blow it all over your chin (I would also get a Jamoca shake but that has nothing to do with this little game, just that they are awesome and refreshing)

Your pathetic false superiority keeps me coming back for more, kind of like a meth addict who loves an alcoholic. Both flawed in different ways. The blind leading the deaf.

I would write you poetry with misspellings and grammatical errors on the top of a pizza box. I would not recycle but then complain about the BP oil spill. I don't give a f*ck about the whales. I do care about the Hoot Owl, only because in some connected way I think it has to do with the longevity of Hooters, which must be preserved at all costs.

I like that you're a fighter and you say what's on your mind. I'd like to keep this going and see where it goes. I just got promoted from assistant night manager to assistant to the night manager. I think I could maybe afford a two-bedroom if my cousin Stu rents the extra room. I can do this.

Let's ride.

pure poetry. I wept.

Gonzo
07-14-2010, 08:41 PM
That was fucking awesome. I want to fuck Buck even more now!

You're not missing much. He's a lazy lay.
Posted via Mobile Device

Buck
07-14-2010, 08:47 PM
Are you asking me on a date?

Halfcan
07-14-2010, 10:46 PM
lol that is some funny stuff

that almost tops your reports from Nzoners bath tub-almost

Lzen
07-14-2010, 10:51 PM
Tiny, you are one weirdass motherfucker.

You just now discovered that?

88TG88
07-14-2010, 11:19 PM
http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/88tg88/hellyeahdo5.jpg

DA_T_84
07-15-2010, 12:18 AM
http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/88tg88/hellyeahdo5.jpg

Aww, that's a cute little dyke

Count Alex's Wins
07-15-2010, 12:20 AM
This seems like a good thread for this.

http://i28.tinypic.com/25slk3r.jpg

TinyEvel
07-15-2010, 12:54 AM
Clay? WTF is that from?

Also, WTF is with your purple Batman avatar? Holeee fock! No wonder your most devoted fock is your right hand. Your too busy promoting something that doesn't exist instead of getting in there and soaking your chin in the dank dunk tank.

Count Alex's Wins
07-15-2010, 12:57 AM
Facebook, you silly man.

TinyEvel
07-15-2010, 12:57 AM
well, this piece of, ahem, original literature got me THIS:

http://iwl.me/s/2b568272

Count Alex's Wins
07-15-2010, 01:00 AM
Your too busy promoting something that doesn't exist instead of getting in there and soaking your chin in the dank dunk tank.

I don't even know what a dank dunk tank is.

Are you saying my magnificent pectoral doesn't exist?

TinyEvel
07-15-2010, 01:16 AM
Look, just because you manscape, do a set of pushups, turn on the light saber replica and then put it on the shelf in the closet you exist in and get your mom to take a pic while you flex and suck, it doesn't mean you are God's gift to women, LJ. God's gift to men, maybe, but get off your high horse and put up the numbers and quit fleecing the media. BTW, is your Twitter ID @premiumcuntent ?

luv
07-15-2010, 01:17 AM
This thread got enjoyable.

Count Alex's Wins
07-15-2010, 01:23 AM
Look, just because you manscape, do a set of pushups, turn on the light saber replica and then put it on the shelf in the closet you exist in and get your mom to take a pic while you flex and suck, it doesn't mean you are God's gift to women, LJ. God's gift to men, maybe, but get off your high horse and put up the numbers and quit fleecing the media. BTW, is your Twitter ID @premiumcuntent ?

You amuse me.

TinyEvel
07-15-2010, 02:00 AM
That's all I'm doing. Amusing. Bytheway, you owe me a neck rub.

ottawa_chiefs_fan
07-15-2010, 03:32 AM
This place has jumped the shark.

Buck
07-15-2010, 03:49 AM
It wont be long before I convert all of you to Chargers fans.

Bwana
07-15-2010, 08:01 AM
Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighty then.

http://www.michaelspornanimation.com/splog/wp-content/f/jim_carrey_001.jpg

Bane
07-15-2010, 08:08 AM
It wont be long before I convert all of you to Chargers fans.

nlm

Lzen
07-15-2010, 08:14 AM
The Chargers can walk into an AIDS tree. Oh....wait.....they cured that.

Die in a fire!

LaChapelle
07-15-2010, 08:20 AM
Gee, I don't know
He has been arrested more than once for tea bagging Narwhals at Sea World
claims it caused no discomfort

blaise
07-15-2010, 08:24 AM
Does this have something to do with the old man than had sex with Buck and all his friends at the storage facility?

Bane
07-15-2010, 08:26 AM
Does this have something to do with the old man than had sex with Buck and all his friends at the storage facility?

No.Buck said he came so that doesn't count.

Hydrae
07-15-2010, 09:59 AM
Rep for the awesomeness that is Jamoca shakes from Arby's!

thecoffeeguy
07-15-2010, 10:07 AM
Dear buck, BuckinKeading, Matt, etc...

I love you Buck. You are like the girl I would kiss and then punch and throw in a well. I mean, I would love to cornhole you and then go full Mel Gibson on your ass via cel phone and text message then post pics of you throwing up in your prom dress on FaceBook, then I would call you the next morning and ask if you'd like to go for waffles and try to get a BJ in the car on the way home.

I love you and hate you at the same time. You are hot but also ugly. You have shitty breath and only one good tit, while the other one with the mole on it is still OK but not really pic-worthy. I will exhaust myself trying to take one-tit pics of you.

I put up with you because I like to keep you around so I can tell my friends you take it up the ass, even though you don't. And on occasion you show up looking pretty good but always end up getting too drunk and embarrassing yourself and I have to take you home and hold your hair while you vomit in the pan my dad drains his Chevy oil in out back behind the garage and I have to ask the nosey neighbors to go back inside their house -- that it's nothing -- just a sick friend who got car sick and whose barf just happens to smell like peach schnapps.

I love the way you snort when you laugh and hate the way you snort when you sleep. I want to buy you something from Victoria Secret catalogue but then throw it in the garbage when it arrives because I don't want you knowing that I am that into you. However I will sniff it and whack off to it before I throw it away. Did I say that out loud?

I want to make you a breakup tape and then play it while I f*ck you for two minutes and hold you for 58 minutes. I want to take you to Arby's get an ARBY-Q and two packets of Horsey sauce. When you eat the ARBY-Q I'll make sperm jokes with the horsey sauce, trying to blow it all over your chin (I would also get a Jamoca shake but that has nothing to do with this little game, just that they are awesome and refreshing)

Your pathetic false superiority keeps me coming back for more, kind of like a meth addict who loves an alcoholic. Both flawed in different ways. The blind leading the deaf.

I would write you poetry with misspellings and grammatical errors on the top of a pizza box. I would not recycle but then complain about the BP oil spill. I don't give a f*ck about the whales. I do care about the Hoot Owl, only because in some connected way I think it has to do with the longevity of Hooters, which must be preserved at all costs.

I like that you're a fighter and you say what's on your mind. I'd like to keep this going and see where it goes. I just got promoted from assistant night manager to assistant to the night manager. I think I could maybe afford a two-bedroom if my cousin Stu rents the extra room. I can do this.

Let's ride.


ROFLROFL

GoHuge
07-15-2010, 11:11 AM
ROFLROFLLove it when people quote the OT on the 3rd page of a thread. If you didn't how would people know what you're talking about??

BTW well done Tiny. You went romantic, to masochist, to lover, then ghey lover, and finished as a combatant. Covered the whole spectrum!!

Hydrae
07-15-2010, 11:30 AM
I am headed to Arby's. I have to have a Jamoca shake now. Thanks, Tiny!!! :cuss:

Crush
07-15-2010, 11:41 AM
Love it when people quote the OT on the 3rd page of a thread. If you didn't how would people know what you're talking about??

BTW well done Tiny. You went romantic, to masochist, to lover, then ghey lover, and finished as a combatant. Covered the whole spectrum!!


80 per page FTW.

Bowser
07-15-2010, 11:42 AM
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Buck
05-23-2011, 12:46 AM
Do you still feel this way about me Tiny? I need to know.

MoreLemonPledge
05-23-2011, 03:16 AM
Magnificent.

Dave Lane
05-23-2011, 07:56 AM
It wont be long before I convert all of you to Chargers fans.

So you finally admit chargers fans are the gay? Duly noted.