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Sofa King
08-06-2010, 03:57 PM
http://www.sportspickle.com/article:1117/the-9-players-at-every-nfl-training-camp

The 9 Players At Every NFL Training Camp


The NFL has 32 teams. But these 9 players are at every training camp.

- - - - -

1. The Fat Guy

Ohmigod! A lineman listed at 290 pounds showed up closer to 300! Letís all FREAK OUT! Who could have predicted an incredibly overweight person would gain a few pounds over six months of down time? He needs to drop weight Ė and FAST! Ė to show that he is dedicated to his profession and his team.



(Then, once the season starts, he can pack as much weight as he wants to back on because no one will be weighing him so it wonít be an issue. And we need him to control the line of scrimmage. So, please, get heavy again!)



2. The Undrafted Superstar

This guy can run and jump like an Olympic superstar. For some unknown reason, he just didnít get a lot of playing time in college. It was probably politics. But now heís in your teamís camp and heís going to light the NFL world on fire. A good 60-percent of the posts on team message boards are about this amazing prospect.


Oh. Turns out he didnít play much in college because, while he can run and jump, he kind of Ö umm Ö sucks at football.



3. The Late-Round Project



Your team got this guy in the later rounds of the draft and he just has a few rough edges that need some burnishing. He could very well be your teamís missing piece Ė the one that makes them a legit title contender. Surely all the flaws in his game that werenít fixed in four years of high school football and four years of college will be fixed in three weeks of training camp. Surely.



4. The White Fan Favorite



This guy is usually a combination between The Late-Round Project and The Undrafted Superstar. Except heís white. And he probably already has sold 5,000 jerseys. But itís not so much a racial thing, itís just that Ö I donít know Ö a lot of fans identify with him somehow.



It could be because chances are heíll be just like them in a few weeks in that he also wonít be employed as an NFL football player.



5. The Veteran Who Just Wants To Win



This guy has been a featured player in the past when he was younger. But now he just wants to win. Thatís why heís taking a reduced role and less money than heís ever made. Oddly, this decision on just wanting to win coincided with no NFL team wanting to pay him big money anymore for a featured role.



6. The ďBest Shape of My LifeĒ Guy



This player has shown up to camp in ďthe best shape of my life!Ē Hey, good for you, fella! Bad news, though Ė in three weeks, all the other players on the team will also be in the best shape of their lives. Looks like you wasted your offseason when you could have been having fun. Whoops.



7. The Injury Comeback



He missed most or all of last-season with a serious injury. But heís been rehabbing non-stop in order to get back to where he was. Heís never wanted something so bad in his whole life. And the team has given him their full support. (Except for those three possible replacements they drafted.)



8. The Holdout


What a greedy asshole this guy is. Who cares if the average NFL career lasts four years and many players suffer debilitating injuries? Take what the team is offering and get on the field! Weíve got the Titans in a month!



9. The Player Entering a Contract Year



See that guy running full-speed past everyone else whoís jogging? Thatís him.










I searched for this, couldn't find it. If it's a repost, i blame Pestilence.

Funny how many players fit this article....

Dicky McElephant
08-06-2010, 03:59 PM
:facepalm:

Fritz88
08-06-2010, 04:06 PM
Nice find.

Sofa King
08-06-2010, 04:11 PM
:facepalm:

I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!111!1!1

Nice find.

Thank you.

btlook1
08-06-2010, 04:46 PM
Good read. yea I think we have those 9 covered this year....and every year!

Chan93lx50
08-06-2010, 04:57 PM
We need to fill this list out!

8. The Holdout

Jarad Page

Beerthirty
08-06-2010, 04:57 PM
Last couple of years we get the Derrick Johnson thinks this is his year column.

onwardthruthefog
08-06-2010, 05:40 PM
4. The White Fan Favorite



This guy is usually a combination between The Late-Round Project and The Undrafted Superstar. Except heís white. And he probably already has sold 5,000 jerseys. But itís not so much a racial thing, itís just that Ö I donít know Ö a lot of fans identify with him somehow.



It could be because chances are heíll be just like them in a few weeks in that he also wonít be employed as an NFL football player.



ROFL

Dylan
08-06-2010, 06:47 PM
http://forums.ronin-studios.com/images/smilies/approval-tapedshut.gif

http://www.guzer.com/pictures/fat_fb_player.jpg

Gonzo
08-06-2010, 07:13 PM
Pretty much sums it up...
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