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FAX
08-09-2010, 12:35 PM
Boys and girls, this is freaking hard. Crap ... I can barely type, too ...

I've been taking upwards of 200 mg of morphine sulfate daily for the last year and a half since prior to my back surgery last October.

Anyhow, I got a little crazy and quit the pills Wednesday night ... motherfucking child of God's abandon fucking fallen angels ... I swear, I feel like I've been trying to climb out of the Devil's asshole for the last four days. This is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire freaking life.

Do not ... ever ... do not become addicted to narcotics, peeps. They will rock your world and ruin your ass. That is all.

FAX THE HALF DEAD AND WISHING IT WASN'T JUST HALF

gblowfish
08-09-2010, 12:42 PM
"Cold Turkey....
Has Got Me....
On
The
Run."

Hang in there Mr. Fax.

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Pestilence
08-09-2010, 12:44 PM
Anyhow, I got a little crazy and quit the pills Wednesday night ... motherfucking child of God's abandon fucking fallen angels ... I swear, I feel like I've been trying to climb out of the Devil's asshole for the last four days.



This made me LOL......sorry.

Good luck and keep your head up though.

FAX
08-09-2010, 12:52 PM
This is absolutely the worst package of feelings ever. Physically and psychologically. I want to take a pill so bad it hurts. But I refuse. I'm not going through this again and surely the worst is behind me now.

I called my doc today and told him what I did. He acted stunned and basically accused me of stupidity. But I figure it like this ... if David Crosby could kick two addictions in an 8X10 Dallas lock up, I could do this in the comfort of my home with people around me who care, a good bed, and my choice of food. Thing is, I didn't realize how incredibly hard it would be.

I'll see you guys later, I'm going to vomit and then find an NA meeting somewhere.

FAX

Buck
08-09-2010, 01:03 PM
Not trying to be funny, but maybe smoking marijuana will help you just a little bit?

Cave Johnson
08-09-2010, 01:03 PM
I called my doc today and told him what I did. He acted stunned and basically accused me of stupidity. But I figure it like this ... if David Crosby could kick two addictions in an 8X10 Dallas lock up, I could do this in the comfort of my home with people around me who care, a good bed, and my choice of food. Thing is, I didn't realize how incredibly hard it would be.

FAX

I'm guessing he would have preferred you stepped down usage gradually.

Narcotics dependence is no joke. I had a client (50s, poor health) that died from withdrawl after her doc yanked the painkillers.

seclark
08-09-2010, 01:04 PM
hate to hear of your pain, fax. getting away from morphine is not easy. i'm wishing you the best.
sec

ClevelandBronco
08-09-2010, 01:05 PM
You have balls of steel, Mr. FAX. Find more than one meeting, get some phone numbers AND DON'T HESITATE TO USE THEM. Those guys know exactly what you're going through.

Pants
08-09-2010, 01:22 PM
Yeah, FAX, this is crazy indeed. You should probably follow your doctors advice. You have to taper that shit down and there are also medications (like Suboxone and Subutex) that help your body deal with opioid withdrawals. What you're going through can kill a man! Please, please, please be careful!

burt
08-09-2010, 01:24 PM
Mr. Fax,
I have no idea of what you are going thru, but you have our support. Sounds way past unpleasant!

Iowanian
08-09-2010, 01:24 PM
Hang in there Fax......

KCrockaholic
08-09-2010, 01:26 PM
I think to release this flustration, you should make a "Wendy meets a draftabulator, part 2".

KCUnited
08-09-2010, 01:35 PM
You scream, I scream
Everybody screams for morphine
I won't love you, mama, I just fiend your morphine...

Stuff gives me hellacious nightmares.

onwardthruthefog
08-09-2010, 01:45 PM
it hasn't killed you yet, and its not going to. this ordeal will make you a stronger and therefor better human being. keep your eye on the prize. nothin worth havin comes easy.

NewChief
08-09-2010, 01:49 PM
I'm feeling for you, man. Sorry that it got to that point, but if you kick cold turkey... I bet you never go back.

CosmicPal
08-09-2010, 01:51 PM
Hang in there, Fax.

From one who's had a couple of back surgeries and taken enough pain killers to open up my own pharmacy, I know what you're going through.

Rain Man
08-09-2010, 01:53 PM
Try chewing some gum.

cdcox
08-09-2010, 01:53 PM
Courage to change the things you can. Hang in there, this too shall pass.

beach tribe
08-09-2010, 02:00 PM
Boys and girls, this is freaking hard. Crap ... I can barely type, too ...

I've been taking upwards of 200 mg of morphine sulfate daily for the last year and a half since prior to my back surgery last October.

Anyhow, I got a little crazy and quit the pills Wednesday night ... mother****ing child of God's abandon ****ing fallen angels ... I swear, I feel like I've been trying to climb out of the Devil's asshole for the last four days. This is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire freaking life.

Do not ... ever ... do not become addicted to narcotics, peeps. They will rock your world and ruin your ass. That is all.

FAX THE HALF DEAD AND WISHING IT WASN'T JUST HALF

I have been there my friend. Very recently. Opiates are the debil.
They will suck the life out of you. I was on hard for over a year. It's gonna take AT LEAST 10 days for you to just feel like standing up.
Opiates are the nastiest most addictive things on the planet.
Don't mess with em kids!!

Iowanian
08-09-2010, 02:01 PM
Maybe you could find someone to suck the poison out Fax...

Slainte
08-09-2010, 02:04 PM
When I quit smoking 4 years ago, I rewarded myself with a strawberry milkshake every Friday for another smoke-free week.

I hope this in some way helps...

Sweet Daddy Hate
08-09-2010, 02:04 PM
Insert Velvet Underground reference...

Good luck man, at least it's not methadone. That takes MONTHS.

ClevelandBronco
08-09-2010, 02:05 PM
When I quit smoking 4 years ago, I rewarded myself with a strawberry milkshake every Friday for another smoke-free week.

I hope this in some way helps...

How did you kick strawberry milkshakes?

Slainte
08-09-2010, 02:11 PM
How did you kick strawberry milkshakes?

Ibogaine.

DeezNutz
08-09-2010, 02:15 PM
I called my doc today and told him what I did. He acted stunned and basically accused me of stupidity.

Why?

Good luck, though, FAX. Stay strong.

MOhillbilly
08-09-2010, 02:19 PM
we all have our crosses to bear.

you aint the only one to fight this one.

I care not to think of the numbers brothers and sisters who didnt make it out. And the ones who did its an eternal struggle, a blackhole.

Hardcore.

rtmike
08-09-2010, 02:19 PM
I was on 5mg of oxycodone 4 X a day for several years after my accident. It just wasn't working anymore. I found myself in bed all the time to ease the pain.

Now I'm on 15mg & a fetanol patch. Life is good, no pain.

But I'm scared to death of ever getting off that crap. The back pain will never go away, part of the fact I have a titanium cage wrapped around my spine. Sometimes I wish the paralysis started around my tits & went down.

Good luck Mr. Fax. You're fighting a battle I'm scared to death of.

wutamess
08-09-2010, 02:22 PM
Boys and girls, this is freaking hard. Crap ... I can barely type, too ...

I've been taking upwards of 200 mg of morphine sulfate daily for the last year and a half since prior to my back surgery last October.

Anyhow, I got a little crazy and quit the pills Wednesday night ... mother****ing child of God's abandon ****ing fallen angels ... I swear, I feel like I've been trying to climb out of the Devil's asshole for the last four days. This is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire freaking life.

Do not ... ever ... do not become addicted to narcotics, peeps. They will rock your world and ruin your ass. That is all.

FAX THE HALF DEAD AND WISHING IT WASN'T JUST HALF

So do you think you're going to be able to kick the habit?

Pants
08-09-2010, 02:23 PM
Insert Velvet Underground reference...

Good luck man, at least it's not methadone. That takes MONTHS.

Methadone makes it easier to quit opioids, though?

MOhillbilly
08-09-2010, 02:30 PM
Methadone makes it easier to quit opioids, though?

takes the pull away, doesnt make it easier. From those ive been close to they say methadone prolongs it. Nomore orange drink at the clinic either. Lots of places pass it out in waffers by script.

So its easy to save up and get really high for acouple days.

Pants
08-09-2010, 02:35 PM
takes the pull away, doesnt make it easier. From those ive been close to they say methadone prolongs it. Nomore orange drink at the clinic either. Lots of places pass it out in waffers by script.

So its easy to save up and get really high for acouple days.

For someone like FAX, it would make it easier, though, I think. He's obviously in it to win it and not to get a high. He would go through a slow taper and hopefully come out clean on the side of the creek.

MOhillbilly
08-09-2010, 02:38 PM
For someone like FAX, it would make it easier, though, I think. He's obviously in it to win it and not to get a high. He would go through a slow taper and hopefully come out clean on the side of the creek.

ive seen both sides and been on one myself. It fucking sucks but it isnt the worst ive had to endure. Some perspective, ya know.

Pants
08-09-2010, 02:40 PM
ive seen both sides and been on one myself. It ****ing sucks but it isnt the worst ive had to endure. Some perspective, ya know.

What was worse than trying to kick whatever was the opioid of your choice? I'm just curious. Hopefully I will never have to be tested like that, because I know I would lose to that stuff.

ClevelandBronco
08-09-2010, 02:41 PM
For someone like FAX, it would make it easier, though, I think. He's obviously in it to win it and not to get a high. He would go through a slow taper and hopefully come out clean on the side of the creek.

You have nothing of value to offer but unconditional support. That's how it works.

Goldmember
08-09-2010, 02:43 PM
you must have had a lot pain to be on that shit. Stay strong and get well!

teedubya
08-09-2010, 02:47 PM
You can do it!!

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/_rAHnwWfsaY/0.jpg

sandynme
08-09-2010, 02:50 PM
this is to fuck,the ass charger....could you be any stupider,dont suggest a different drug to an addict.it would be like someone suggesting you look at gay porn to help you quit sucking dick...wouldnt work...ask your dad or brother

rocks
08-09-2010, 02:51 PM
Hang in there FAX, you can do it!

Pants
08-09-2010, 02:51 PM
this is to ****,the ass charger....could you be any stupider,dont suggest a different drug to an addict.it would be like someone suggesting you look at gay porn to help you quit sucking dick...wouldnt work...ask your dad or brother

Analogy fail, troll.

doomy3
08-09-2010, 02:52 PM
Damn, hate to hear you're going through this, FAX. Hang in there man, and you'll beat this thing.

MOhillbilly
08-09-2010, 02:54 PM
What was worse than trying to kick whatever was the opioid of your choice? I'm just curious. Hopefully I will never have to be tested like that, because I know I would lose to that stuff.

instant release morophine sulfate 170-200+ mg a day 15mg a pop. I never shot it but just talking about makes me wanna get high.
I like the time release but the IRs get it done quick.

Broke my thumb sept 92 and then blew my knee out & fractured my leg later that fall. then had surgery to get the fracture repaired and the knee put back in place. Spent my senior year walking around with a bottle of pills.
Didnt pump the brakes untill a close bro of mine Od around 99'.

I quit drinking whiskey cold turkey, quit chewing 3 cans of snuff a day cold turkey, quit smokin pot after years of daily use cold turkey.
Throw me some pills and i wont think twice about taking them.
fuck.

beach tribe
08-09-2010, 02:56 PM
Methadone makes it easier to quit opioids, though?

Methadone will make you feel fine, but if you don't taper off of it slowly, and correctly you are in for a much longer battle.
1st time I tried to stop oxys I used methadone. Unfortunately I got addicted to it, and had to go back to the oxys.
Been clean for 5 months now, and I consider the greatest accomplishment I've made.
That shit almost took everything from me.

MOhillbilly
08-09-2010, 02:59 PM
Methadone will make you feel fine, but if you don't taper off of it slowly, and correctly you are in for a much longer battle.
1st time I tried to stop oxys I used methadone. Unfortunately I got addicted to it, and had to go back to the oxys.
Been clean for 5 months now, and I consider the greatest accomplishment I've made.
That shit almost took everything from me.

you get the waffers?

beach tribe
08-09-2010, 03:00 PM
I was taking up to 10 30 mg IR oxycodones a day.
I won't lie, I love the shit. It makes me superman, but I will never take another opiate for as long as I live.
They are just too good.

beach tribe
08-09-2010, 03:01 PM
you get the waffers?

I did on the street, but got the 10mg Ms from the doc.

Pants
08-09-2010, 03:05 PM
Methadone will make you feel fine, but if you don't taper off of it slowly, and correctly you are in for a much longer battle.
1st time I tried to stop oxys I used methadone. Unfortunately I got addicted to it, and had to go back to the oxys.
Been clean for 5 months now, and I consider the greatest accomplishment I've made.
That shit almost took everything from me.

Yeah, the draw never goes away, I heard. That shit is the most evil thing in the world as far as personal battles go. You're a stronger individual than me, I'm pretty sure I would end up ODing on that shit.

MOhillbilly
08-09-2010, 03:12 PM
I was taking up to 10 30 mg IR oxycodones a day.
I won't lie, I love the shit. It makes me superman, but I will never take another opiate for as long as I live.
They are just too good.

i bought 900 ir15 and tr30s for 2 bucks each. I took my 1st ir and knew id be lucky to make my $ back at 10ea front & 15ea hard deals.

i feel ya.

Brock
08-09-2010, 03:14 PM
Damn, Fax. I'm sorry.

FAX
08-09-2010, 03:35 PM
Damn, Fax. I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry, Mr. Brock. I did this to myself. It was my decision.

The doctor would have preferred that I "taper" down over time. Impossible at the levels I've been using - 200-plus mg per day - because I don't believe I could control the urge to take more than was prescribed ... of whatever the hell it was. Apparently, I can tolerate more of this crap than would put a lessor man in a coma - something I'm not particularly proud of.

I looked at my life over the last year and a half and realized that, over time, the most important thing in my life had become the pills ... it's hard to explain, but the draw toward narcosis is both physically and psychologically overpowering. Other areas of my life were suffering as a result ... gradually, but definitely and measurably.

I finally said fuck it and took the David Crosby train straight up Satan's colon for a week-long visit (or more). I swear ... I cannot believe other people have gone through this, though. Jesus.

Mr. Rain Man, please jam your gum up your ass along with a strawberry milkshake. Mr. Iowanian, I couldn't get an erection right now if my very life depended on it and Salma Hayek was here.

Thanks for your support, guys. What the hell was I thinking?

FAX

NewChief
08-09-2010, 03:36 PM
I was taking up to 10 30 mg IR oxycodones a day.
I won't lie, I love the shit. It makes me superman, but I will never take another opiate for as long as I live.
They are just too good.

Wow. That's some fucking tolerance. 10mg knocks me on my ass.

go bowe
08-09-2010, 03:38 PM
tough it out mr. fax...

you can do it...

and you will...

DonTellMeShowMe
08-09-2010, 04:02 PM
good luck Fax. If you have been a Chiefs fan this long...you can overcome any challenge

jiveturkey
08-09-2010, 04:13 PM
I had a hard time coming off of a 3 day morphin bender when I was hospitalized for a kidney stone.

I can't imagine what you're going through.

Good luck.

OnTheWarpath58
08-09-2010, 04:40 PM
Don't be sorry, Mr. Brock. I did this to myself. It was my decision.

The doctor would have preferred that I "taper" down over time. Impossible at the levels I've been using - 200-plus mg per day - because I don't believe I could control the urge to take more than was prescribed ... of whatever the hell it was. Apparently, I can tolerate more of this crap than would put a lessor man in a coma - something I'm not particularly proud of.

I looked at my life over the last year and a half and realized that, over time, the most important thing in my life had become the pills ... it's hard to explain, but the draw toward narcosis is both physically and psychologically overpowering. Other areas of my life were suffering as a result ... gradually, but definitely and measurably.

I finally said fuck it and took the David Crosby train straight up Satan's colon for a week-long visit (or more). I swear ... I cannot believe other people have gone through this, though. Jesus.

Mr. Rain Man, please jam your gum up your ass along with a strawberry milkshake. Mr. Iowanian, I couldn't get an erection right now if my very life depended on it and Salma Hayek was here.

Thanks for your support, guys. What the hell was I thinking?

FAX

Hang in there, FAX.

58-4ever
08-09-2010, 04:47 PM
Wow. That's some fucking tolerance. 10mg knocks me on my ass.

Ditto. I did them for about 45 days after hurting my shoulder. And that was really tough to kick after only 20mg a day.

Fish
08-09-2010, 04:57 PM
Good luck to you FAX.

RJ
08-09-2010, 05:52 PM
This is why I usually refuse pain meds when they're offered - I know I'd really like them. I have a prescription for vicodan but don't take them more than a couple times a month, cause for me they could become a habit real fast. I'm funny that way.

Best of luck to you, FAX. You're one tough hombre.

cdcox
08-09-2010, 06:01 PM
My daughter was on and off medically-supplied narcotic pain meds for 4-1/2 years beginning at age 14. She turned to street supplies late in 2009. She has been in rehab the last 6 mos (I paid for 5 of those out of pocket). She just got home last week. At 20 she has a 10th grade education, no job, and no driver's licence. She basically lost 5 years of her young life to those damn things.

spanky 52
08-09-2010, 06:01 PM
We'll never meet Mr Fax but I consider you a good friend. I've always looked forward to you're posts. I'm thinking about you and you will be in my prayers. Hang in there.

bevischief
08-09-2010, 06:07 PM
You can beat this! My wife has been fighting her Fibromyalgia and Crohn's disease and has had to come down. It sucks for a while. I had to come back after a month on pain killers for burns and was eating Vicodin like it was going out of style last year.

vailpass
08-09-2010, 06:34 PM
Best to you Fax, glad you chose to take your life back.

Adept Havelock
08-09-2010, 06:40 PM
Stay strong, FAX. I can't imagine what you're facing...

Always darkest before the dawn.

keg in kc
08-09-2010, 06:44 PM
Good luck, mr. buddy.

DaneMcCloud
08-09-2010, 07:19 PM
Wow, Fax, I was just thinking about you yesterday. It's been quite a while since we've chatted outside of CP and my Spidey-sense went up.

You'll get through this, Man. You will.

Hang tough, Brother.

stevieray
08-09-2010, 07:29 PM
you've already conquered the hardest part...that said...remember how you feel now to keep you strong down the road.

...good luck man.

DenverDanChiefsFan
08-09-2010, 07:37 PM
best of luck Mr. Fax.

dirk digler
08-09-2010, 07:42 PM
Be strong Fax and hang in there.

Crush
08-09-2010, 08:04 PM
Hang in there Mr. Fax. You will succeed!

boogblaster
08-09-2010, 08:04 PM
Sorry for you buddy .. but a few cold beers will help .....

kregger
08-09-2010, 09:57 PM
Holy Batcrap, FAX. Good luck and know that your planet brethren are behind you, wishing you nothing but the best.

shitgoose
08-09-2010, 10:20 PM
im so drunk right now i can vbarely type but kcik that shit Mr. Fax. The whole planet is rooting for you man. just tell yourself something witty and deal with it

Simply Red
08-09-2010, 10:24 PM
harmless quality pot for the win!

Simply Red
08-09-2010, 10:26 PM
Of course (as you know) - I'm always here, as you were for me, before.

BigChiefFan
08-09-2010, 10:31 PM
Smack the smack.

Demonpenz
08-09-2010, 11:24 PM
if you are able to seperate yourself and see the big picture helps. You know if you have a large craving that it will leave eventually, just have to hang tough.

Reerun_KC
08-09-2010, 11:53 PM
I wish you the best Mr Fax! I truly do. If you just want to talk to someone or vent, I will PM you my number... I don't know what your going through, but I will listen without judgment.

beach tribe
08-10-2010, 06:20 AM
It's a battle every damn day. They are everywhere around me. All my friends do them. My brother's GF is completely addicted. My brother is on em'. One of my friends calls me every day at lunch and asks me if I want any, and he's two min. away.
This is my third try, and it has been successful so far, and every time, I think of them, I think of the WDs to kill the urge, but it's also hard not think of blowing a cpl, and hopping on the night train again. I was a bartender, and that's how I started doing them. I would work, an 8 hr day on FRI, and tend till 4:00 AM, love it, and party afterwards. I had to phase out of that job to get off of em' cause there was no way I could carry that on after I quit. I eventually took a few shifts back though.
I've done lots of different drugs without any kind of addiction problems, but this shit is just not the same.
Lord, please help me stay clean............and Mr. Fax too.

Over-Head
08-10-2010, 06:27 AM
Sept of 2000 after my accident, I re-habbed from Heroine and Coke while in a body cast.
I can certainly relate to what your gong through Fax, it ain't fun, not one bit.
hang tough bud

beach tribe
08-10-2010, 06:39 AM
Sept of 2000 after my accident, I re-habbed from Heroine and Coke while in a body cast.
I can certainly relate to what your gong through Fax, it ain't fun, not one bit.
hang tough bud

So you joined the planet while you were in a body cast rehabbing from speed balls?

Fun little CP fact there.

Otter
08-10-2010, 06:45 AM
This is my first time dealing with withdrawal Fax so I'm going to have to assume we use the same therapeutics as when a friend breaks up with a girlfriend or get divorced.

Pack ur bag bitch, we're off to Vegas for some titties, all night gambling and Asian "escorts". Oh yeah, and the seafood buffet at 10am followed by bloody mary's.

Hang in there Fax!

NewChief
08-10-2010, 06:50 AM
It's a battle every damn day. They are everywhere around me. All my friends do them. My brother's GF is completely addicted. My brother is on em'. One of my friends calls me every day at lunch and asks me if I want any, and he's two min. away.
This is my third try, and it has been successful so far, and every time, I think of them, I think of the WDs to kill the urge, but it's also hard not think of blowing a cpl, and hopping on the night train again. I was a bartender, and that's how I started doing them. I would work, an 8 hr day on FRI, and tend till 4:00 AM, love it, and party afterwards. I had to phase out of that job to get off of em' cause there was no way I could carry that on after I quit. I eventually took a few shifts back though.
I've done lots of different drugs without any kind of addiction problems, but this shit is just not the same.
Lord, please help me stay clean............and Mr. Fax too.

That's awesome that you're clean. That being said.. and take this advice for what it's worth... I'd try to minimize my contact with other users if I were you. Speaking from experience, it's best if the shit is out of sight and out of mind. The more you're in contact with it, the harder it will be to resist the temptation.

beach tribe
08-10-2010, 06:51 AM
This is my first time dealing with withdrawal Fax so I'm going to have to assume we use the same therapeutics as when a friend breaks up with a girlfriend or get divorced.

Pack ur bag bitch, we're off to Vegas for some titties, all night gambling and Asian "escorts". Oh yeah, and the seafood buffet at 10am followed by bloody mary's.

Too bad you would have to drag him there. Unless you have a bottle full of Adderal, you can forget about Mr. Fax having a good time. You just can't drown it, or not think about it.

beach tribe
08-10-2010, 06:57 AM
That's awesome that you're clean. That being said.. and take this advice for what it's worth... I'd try to minimize my contact with other users if I were you. Speaking from experience, it's best if the shit is out of sight and out of mind. The more you're in contact with it, the harder it will be to resist the temptation.

I know, but there's no way to escape it at this point. I minimize it as much as I can, but it's always there if I want it.
Just have to stay strong. I love my life. I have a great job, GF, and place to live. I know that they will take it all from me, and almost did. Just have to FIGHT!!!

I don't know if you like Heavy Metal Mr. Fax, but that's the only thing that could get me past the toughest part of my recovery.
Once the WDs wear off the dreaded lethargy is gonna be there for at least another week. Motivation will be hard to muster up without some Dimebag Darrel, or thrasher of your choice.
Also put your mind in a state of War against your addiction. realize that it IS life or death.

Chiefs=Good
08-10-2010, 07:20 AM
Good luck to you Mr. Fax and to you beach tribe!

Over-Head
08-10-2010, 07:21 AM
So you joined the planet while you were in a body cast rehabbing from speed balls?

Fun little CP fact there.
Pretty much

Donger
08-10-2010, 08:19 AM
Ick. Best wishes, FAX.

patteeu
08-10-2010, 09:22 AM
I hope today is better than yesterday. Good luck to all of the recovering addicts out there.

Inspector
08-10-2010, 09:48 AM
My prayer for your speedy and complete recovery Mr. FAX.

I had a back injury a few years ago and the doctor loaded me up with about a ton of pain pills and muscle relaxers. Took one of two and then the rest just sat in the medicine cabinet until they expired and were thrown away. I guess I was very lucky.

FAX
08-10-2010, 09:59 AM
My prayer for your speedy and complete recovery Mr. FAX.

I had a back injury a few years ago and the doctor loaded me up with about a ton of pain pills and muscle relaxers. Took one of two and then the rest just sat in the medicine cabinet until they expired and were thrown away. I guess I was very lucky.

Or very smart.

Apparently, I have an addictive personality ... if one's good, two must be better type of thing. That's how I wound up on such high dosages ... I have never, ever experienced anything like this, though. It's incomprehensible, frankly. I feel like I've been blasted with a shit cannon. Ick, indeed, Mr. Donger.

Funny thing, though. I have songs ... new ones ... running through my mind like I can't remember ... as though my subconscious is reactivating or something. Incredible and unexplainable.

My sincere appreciation and love goes out to you guys for your support.

I'm gonna go get some exercise.

FAX

ChiefButthurt
08-10-2010, 10:16 AM
Stay strong Fax....I know you can do it. I'd like to go into a trash talking tirade to motivate you or if it would help, don't think it would help or be appropriate. Good luck.

MOhillbilly
08-10-2010, 10:20 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w5aML-dbno

Inspector
08-10-2010, 10:30 AM
Or very smart.

Apparently, I have an addictive personality ... if one's good, two must be better type of thing. That's how I wound up on such high dosages ... I have never, ever experienced anything like this, though. It's incomprehensible, frankly. I feel like I've been blasted with a shit cannon. Ick, indeed, Mr. Donger.

Funny thing, though. I have songs ... new ones ... running through my mind like I can't remember ... as though my subconscious is reactivating or something. Incredible and unexplainable.

My sincere appreciation and love goes out to you guys for your support.

I'm gonna go get some exercise.

FAX

Hmmm...My kid has been in Nashville for a couple of weeks writing new tunes for their next CD....I should tell him to look you up - Especially with those new songs going through your head!

Fairplay
08-10-2010, 10:43 AM
You hang tough FAX, i know you will make it through this. You are stronger then your know. Pray for God's help on this also, i'm sure you already have.

2 Corinthians 12:9

beach tribe
08-10-2010, 10:48 AM
Or very smart.

Apparently, I have an addictive personality ... if one's good, two must be better type of thing. That's how I wound up on such high dosages ... I have never, ever experienced anything like this, though. It's incomprehensible, frankly. I feel like I've been blasted with a shit cannon. Ick, indeed, Mr. Donger.

Funny thing, though. I have songs ... new ones ... running through my mind like I can't remember ... as though my subconscious is reactivating or something. Incredible and unexplainable.

My sincere appreciation and love goes out to you guys for your support.

I'm gonna go get some exercise.



FAX
I had a post written earlier, but never got it posted, and it was about how all of your senses were going to return, and hit you all at once. That feeling of chills that runs up your spine, and over your head when you hear "that" song/songs. You are going to feel emotions that you forgot you had, actually I'm sure you already are. I cried tears for the first time since my best friend died 7 years ago. I actually would well up about once a day while listening to music. A lot of that had to do with the fact that my mother was an addict, and our lives as children were severely affected by it, and I swore I would never let that happen to me..........and I did.
It still gives me a little knot in my throat.

"So I swallow these capsules

to regain my grip

And I swallowed myself sick"

And I inherited my health"

couldn't find a better way to lie"

I met my beautiful GF at the peak of my addiction, and lied to her about it for 7 months. When I came out of it, she said she didn't even know who I was, and neither did I. She was right. I was back on within 10 days.
Thankfully she has come to love me for who I really am.

Dave Lane
08-10-2010, 11:33 AM
You are on the downhill run on this now Mr. Fax stay strong a couple of more days and it will be 100 times easier. Good job on your choice.

Sweet Daddy Hate
08-10-2010, 01:22 PM
Sept of 2000 after my accident, I re-habbed from Heroine and Coke while in a body cast.
I can certainly relate to what your gong through Fax, it ain't fun, not one bit.
hang tough bud

Winner.:clap:

Rausch
08-10-2010, 01:27 PM
Boys and girls, this is freaking hard. Crap ... I can barely type, too ...

I've been taking upwards of 200 mg of morphine sulfate daily for the last year and a half since prior to my back surgery last October.

Anyhow, I got a little crazy and quit the pills Wednesday night ... mother****ing child of God's abandon ****ing fallen angels ... I swear, I feel like I've been trying to climb out of the Devil's asshole for the last four days. This is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire freaking life.

Do not ... ever ... do not become addicted to narcotics, peeps. They will rock your world and ruin your ass. That is all.

FAX THE HALF DEAD AND WISHING IT WASN'T JUST HALF

Yeah, addiction's a motherfucker.

Not that I can truly relate 'cause I've never tried to quit any of mine, but I hear it's the snake's bite...

beach tribe
08-10-2010, 01:30 PM
Winner.:clap:

"Let me do an impression"

"Caw Caw BANG Fuck I'm Dead!!"

Sweet Daddy Hate
08-10-2010, 01:38 PM
"Let me do an impression"

"Caw Caw BANG Fuck I'm Dead!!"

LMAO This.


"Well I suggest we have a moment of introspective silence for ol' Tin-Tin; SNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRT"!


One of the best bad guys evah.

beach tribe
08-12-2010, 10:44 AM
How you doin Fax??

PLEASE hang tough my friend.
Without going into detail, I was tempted last night. I mean really tempted. I felt like dog crap, had a lot of stuff that I to do, and had all the free Opiates I would need to feel like superman while taking care of all these tasks right with me the whole time.
I didn't touch them, and now I feel like superman because I beat that shit. I didn't do it.
Damn I feel strong!! I'm so proud of myself.

YOU CAN DO THIS MAN!!! You WILL feel better. I promise you, but it's gonna take some time. Seriously it's gonna take damn near 3 weeks to fully shed the lethargy, and overall feelings of uselessness.
WOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm loving life.

ClevelandBronco
08-12-2010, 11:16 AM
How you doin Fax??

PLEASE hang tough my friend.
Without going into detail, I was tempted last night. I mean really tempted. I felt like dog crap, had a lot of stuff that I to do, and had all the free Opiates I would need to feel like superman while taking care of all these tasks right with me the whole time.
I didn't touch them, and now I feel like superman because I beat that shit. I didn't do it.
Damn I feel strong!! I'm so proud of myself.

YOU CAN DO THIS MAN!!! You WILL feel better. I promise you, but it's gonna take some time. Seriously it's gonna take damn near 3 weeks to fully shed the lethargy, and overall feelings of uselessness.
WOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm loving life.

beach tribe, I love this post. Hearing about these kinds of successes makes my day so much better, man.

I pray that it helps strengthen you, Mr. FAX as well as all the unnamed others who haven't yet come in from their lonely, silent suffering.

bevischief
08-12-2010, 11:54 AM
Hang in there, you can beat this!

FAX
08-13-2010, 04:58 PM
How you doin Fax??

PLEASE hang tough my friend.
Without going into detail, I was tempted last night. I mean really tempted. I felt like dog crap, had a lot of stuff that I to do, and had all the free Opiates I would need to feel like superman while taking care of all these tasks right with me the whole time.
I didn't touch them, and now I feel like superman because I beat that shit. I didn't do it.
Damn I feel strong!! I'm so proud of myself.

YOU CAN DO THIS MAN!!! You WILL feel better. I promise you, but it's gonna take some time. Seriously it's gonna take damn near 3 weeks to fully shed the lethargy, and overall feelings of uselessness.
WOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm loving life.

You're a good man, Mr. beach tribe.

To be honest, I'm feeling horrible right now. This "lethargy" you mentioned is kicking my butt. I "want" to do things, but I can't. My arms and legs feel like lead. I have not yet succumbed to temptation, however. Thank God.

This might be the worst part, though ... this malaise stuff. Certainly the most frustrating. Gonna try and listen to the game tonight ... for awhile, anyhow. Go Chiefs!

FAX

mlyonsd
08-13-2010, 08:41 PM
You're a good man, Mr. beach tribe.

To be honest, I'm feeling horrible right now. This "lethargy" you mentioned is kicking my butt. I "want" to do things, but I can't. My arms and legs feel like lead. I have not yet succumbed to temptation, however. Thank God.

This might be the worst part, though ... this malaise stuff. Certainly the most frustrating. Gonna try and listen to the game tonight ... for awhile, anyhow. Go Chiefs!

FAX

Good vibes Mr. FAX. Hang in there. One step at a time. Just look for one positive thing every day. Rome wasn't built in a day. Baby steps.

Sweet Daddy Hate
08-14-2010, 01:32 PM
The first time I came off the old school, uncut Oxy's, I just kept a steady amount of booze in my system and it helped. If your liver can take it; start drinkin'.

googlegoogle
08-14-2010, 05:47 PM
Wondering about your doctor now.

googlegoogle
08-14-2010, 05:49 PM
My daughter was on and off medically-supplied narcotic pain meds for 4-1/2 years beginning at age 14. She turned to street supplies late in 2009. She has been in rehab the last 6 mos (I paid for 5 of those out of pocket). She just got home last week. At 20 she has a 10th grade education, no job, and no driver's licence. She basically lost 5 years of her young life to those damn things.

:shake:

FAX
08-14-2010, 05:56 PM
Saturday Report From Satan's Buttcheeks:

First off ... never, ever, ever become dependent upon narcotic pain pills, guys. Ever. Tread carefully in this area ... I do not care what kind of man you think you are, I promise you that they are the Devil's poop pellets and are guaranteed to kick your ass right back to yo' mama.

Did a ton of research last night into this whole "lethargy" thing that Mr. beach tribe warned me of. He was correct. It sucks. It's like you cannot move ... almost paralyzed or something ... arms/legs/head feel like lead ... supreme effort just to move ... crazy.

Anyhow, I did this research and learned about the effects of long-term morphine use on the pituitary gland and the hypothalamus section of the brain ... it basically shuts them down. Picked up some supplements to help stimulate those parts and got a B12 shot. With luck, I might be able to fight my way through, now.

Thanks for all the support, guys.

FAX

kstater
08-14-2010, 05:59 PM
Hang in there Mr. FAX.

big nasty kcnut
08-14-2010, 06:31 PM
Fax stay strong the beautiful and witty mrs. Fax need you to be strong for her. You can kick this thing. I myself was addicted to sleeping pills cause i couldn't feel like falling asleep cause my mind is a computer that always working. i quit it a long time ago still can't sleep normal like that why I'm always like working night shift i can sleep a little better. stay strong.

Buehler445
08-14-2010, 07:42 PM
FAX.

Sorry to hear of your troubles. Fight. Hard. Beat it. Don't just beat it. Kick it's fucking ass to oblivion. You're strong enough.

How has the pain been since you quit the meds? Are you able to handle that?

Best of luck FAX. Thoughts and Prayers for you bud.

FAX
08-14-2010, 11:00 PM
How has the pain been since you quit the meds? Are you able to handle that?

Thanks for the kind words, Mr. Buehler445.

No pain. Obviously, when I started the morphine/dilaudid way back 18 months ago, I was in a lot of pain. But, to be completely honest with you, I probably could have (and should have) quit the meds a couple of months after the surgery (January, maybe). I didn't, though.

The dependency/addiction set in. The morphine masked all my emotions and took my cares and worries away. Plus, the doctors are more than willing to keep you on the meds until your brain turns to absolute mush.

So, I'm good. I got really pissed at myself for succumbing to the addictive behavior. I feel no physical pain ... only great regret for not having faced down this evil bitch earlier. I fear I am a major pussy when it comes to narcotics.

FAX

DaneMcCloud
08-14-2010, 11:07 PM
I fear I am a major pussy when it comes to narcotics.

FAX

Most people are and there's no fault in that.

I took psychology one and two in high school. We studied a case where a person that went in for routine surgery became addicted to morphine. It was very scary.

Fast forward a year, and I needed an emergency appendectomy. I had over 300 hundred internal stitches and nine cat-gut sutures to sew up my stomach (I'd been training three times a day the entire summer for football and my stomach was a rock).

I woke up and felt like fucking Hell. I can still remember that feeling, even more than 25 years later. The nurse came in and wanted to administer morphine in my drip and I said no. She was shocked and asked again. Again, I said no. I was too terrified about what I'd read to ever let that in my body.

I've never taken narcotics and never want to take narcotics. Some people have a difficult time separating themselves from those drugs and even at age 17, I knew that I'd be one of those people.

You'll be fine, Dude.

patteeu
08-14-2010, 11:08 PM
Thanks for the kind words, Mr. Buehler445.

No pain. Obviously, when I started the morphine/dilaudid way back 18 months ago, I was in a lot of pain. But, to be completely honest with you, I probably could have (and should have) quit the meds a couple of months after the surgery (January, maybe). I didn't, though.

The dependency/addiction set in. The morphine masked all my emotions and took my cares and worries away. Plus, the doctors are more than willing to keep you on the meds until your brain turns to absolute mush.

So, I'm good. I got really pissed at myself for succumbing to the addictive behavior. I feel no physical pain ... only great regret for not having faced down this evil bitch earlier. I fear I am a major pussy when it comes to narcotics.

FAX

Good for you for kicking the habit. :thumb:

How did you keep getting the meds after the pain went away? Did you just tell the doctor that you still had pain? I would have thought your doctor would have caught on by now. :shrug:

FAX
08-14-2010, 11:16 PM
Yeah, you were smart, Mr. DaneMcCloud.

I'm not the first, nor will I be the last (sadly) to deal with an addition/dependency to prescription opiates. And, frankly, I'm utterly unashamed to say that they kicked my ass to hell and gone. The narcosis (euphoria) they provide is like nothing in the world.

If it wasn't for the fact that they slowly but surely ruin every aspect of your life in every possible and conceivable respect, they wouldn't be so bad.

FAX

DaneMcCloud
08-14-2010, 11:18 PM
Yeah, you were smart, Mr. DaneMcCloud.

I'm not the first, nor will I be the last (sadly) to deal with an addition/dependency to prescription opiates. And, frankly, I'm utterly unashamed to say that they kicked my ass to hell and gone. The narcosis (euphoria) they provide is like nothing in the world.

If it wasn't for the fact that they slowly but surely ruin every aspect of your life in every possible and conceivable respect, they wouldn't be so bad.

FAX

You're going to be fine and writing in no time.

Look at this way: You have a shit ton of things to write about now.

:D

FAX
08-14-2010, 11:22 PM
Good for you for kicking the habit. :thumb:

How did you keep getting the meds after the pain went away? Did you just tell the doctor that you still had pain? I would have thought your doctor would have caught on by now. :shrug:

You have much to learn about the ways of modern medicine, Mr. patteeu.

They know you're hooked. Eventually, one of two things happen; either you screw up a piss test (because you over-dosed during the month) and they take away your meds or you just keep getting the scripts because they know you can't help yourself. Once a month, you return to the pain clinic, pick up your script, and pay about 300 bucks for a 15 minute consult. That's the deal. No questions. No problem.

Not once did any of my doctors (about 6) consult with me as to a method or means for getting off the drugs. Not one time. There are more people in this country addicted to prescription pain meds than we can imagine.

FAX

DaneMcCloud
08-14-2010, 11:26 PM
Not once did any of my doctors (about 6) consult with me as to a method or means for getting off the drugs. Not one time. There are more people in this country addicted to prescription pain meds than we can imagine.

FAX

I have a neighbor and friend that's a UCLA Psychology professor and we often chat on while walking our dogs.

He's told me that these days, "psychology" is more about prescribing drugs, when it should be about therapy and drugs when needed.

Our whole society is becoming over-medicated.

Now, by that, I'm not talking about necessary medications for asthmatics, allergies, cholesterol, heart, cancer, etc.

I'm talking about the wholesale selling of narcotics and psychotropic drugs to "solve" problems that should be addressed otherwise.

It's very troubling.

FAX
08-14-2010, 11:40 PM
I have a neighbor and friend that's a UCLA Psychology professor and we often chat on while walking our dogs.

He's told me that these days, "psychology" is more about prescribing drugs, when it should be about therapy and drugs when needed.

Our whole society is becoming over-medicated.

Now, by that, I'm not talking about necessary medications for asthmatics, allergies, cholesterol, heart, cancer, etc.

I'm talking about the wholesale selling of narcotics and psychotropic drugs to "solve" problems that should be addressed otherwise.

It's very troubling.

Here's "troubling" ...

I happen to know for an absolute fact that Vanderbilt has a special ward (they don't talk about) set aside for physicians and nurses who become addicted to prescription narcotics. A dirty little secret. 15 beds in the ward and they're full all the time ... detoxing the same people who are prescribing to people like me.

Not that I blame them ... I was the one who kept demanding an increase in my dosage ... up to the 200 mg per day levels (which I personally prefer for maximum highness). The fact is that those drugs are extremely available and addictive ... I note with interest that some people can become addicted to morphine sulfate in less than 24 hours of use. Amazing, really.

FAX

cdcox
08-14-2010, 11:53 PM
Many doctors are real pill pushers. I had finger surgery last year. The doc gave me a script for 30 pills. I took 3 or 4 of them after the surgery and another couple when they pulled the pin out. I saw him every couple weeks for about a 4 month period and every time he asked me if I needed anything for the pain. At one point he wrote me a script that I didn't even want and never filled. I have no doubt he would have written me a script every time I went if I asked for it. These were low dosage, but there was no way anyone needed the number of pills he was offering for the level of the pain involved in that procedure.

Hope you get your energy back, FAX. Good to see you here.

DeezNutz
08-14-2010, 11:56 PM
Here's "troubling" ...

I happen to know for an absolute fact that Vanderbilt has a special ward (they don't talk about) set aside for physicians and nurses who become addicted to prescription narcotics. A dirty little secret. 15 beds in the ward and they're full all the time ... detoxing the same people who are prescribing to people like me.

Not that I blame them ... I was the one who kept demanding an increase in my dosage ... up to the 200 mg per day levels (which I personally prefer for maximum highness). The fact is that those drugs are extremely available and addictive ... I note with interest that some people can become addicted to morphine sulfate in less than 24 hours of use. Amazing, really.

FAX

LMAO.

And this is why you'll be fine, not that this will mitigate the suckage in the interim.

T-post Tom
08-15-2010, 12:40 AM
Kate Bush knows what she's singing about...

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gJWurqWTeSk?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gJWurqWTeSk?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

FAX
08-15-2010, 05:57 AM
Kate Bush knows what she's singing about...

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gJWurqWTeSk?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gJWurqWTeSk?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

"So" is one of my top 2 all time records. From "Red Rain" to "This Is The Picture" ... it's one hell of an effort. I love the crazy bastard ... and Kate.

Thanks, Mr. T-post Tom.

I'm gonna be okay. Every day is a little better.

FAX

kc rush
08-15-2010, 06:03 AM
I've been on vacation, so I completely missed this thread. I have no experience here, so I have nothing to add but a prayer for strength for you, beach tribe and for anyone else fighting this fight. Good luck to you all.

AndChiefs
08-15-2010, 07:51 AM
Many doctors are real pill pushers. I had finger surgery last year. The doc gave me a script for 30 pills. I took 3 or 4 of them after the surgery and another couple when they pulled the pin out. I saw him every couple weeks for about a 4 month period and every time he asked me if I needed anything for the pain. At one point he wrote me a script that I didn't even want and never filled. I have no doubt he would have written me a script every time I went if I asked for it. These were low dosage, but there was no way anyone needed the number of pills he was offering for the level of the pain involved in that procedure.

Hope you get your energy back, FAX. Good to see you here.

No kidding. I dislocated my finger a couple years ago and they tried giving me a prescription for opiates for the pain. I said no thanks and just took some advil at home.

KC Tattoo
08-15-2010, 08:11 AM
I'm taking Lortab for the pain in my back. My daughter called the wha-mbulance last saterday and they gave me a shot of morphine. 5th time I've gotten a shot for pain. I'ze can standz it till I can't standz it any more! Monday I am getting a second epaderal. They tell me that this time should help, yea right, I doubt it but worth the try. I told the Dr. that I think I need surgery & didn't think the next epaderal will work. I freaking hurt.


I feel your pain Mr. Fax, wishing you the best of luck. Prayers are with you and I have found with my addictions prayers have helped me in recovery. Don't ever give up. God is good and can use the worse case scinario and make it into a blessing, we may not know what the blessing is but God uses us for greater purposes, than the problems we have. It get's confusing why God does this but who am I to question God?

stevieray
08-15-2010, 09:11 AM
Many doctors are real pill pushers. I had finger surgery last year. The doc gave me a script for 30 pills. I took 3 or 4 of them after the surgery and another couple when they pulled the pin out. I saw him every couple weeks for about a 4 month period and every time he asked me if I needed anything for the pain. At one point he wrote me a script that I didn't even want and never filled. I have no doubt he would have written me a script every time I went if I asked for it. These were low dosage, but there was no way anyone needed the number of pills he was offering for the level of the pain involved in that procedure.

Hope you get your energy back, FAX. Good to see you here.

...doctors gave both MJ and EP on all kinds of drugs

DaFace
08-15-2010, 09:19 AM
Best of luck, Mr. FAX. I know zip about what this is like, but you're definitely in my thoughts.

Scorp
08-15-2010, 09:24 AM
Relapse in 3.....2......1......

Buehler445
08-15-2010, 09:45 AM
Thanks for the kind words, Mr. Buehler445.

No pain. Obviously, when I started the morphine/dilaudid way back 18 months ago, I was in a lot of pain. But, to be completely honest with you, I probably could have (and should have) quit the meds a couple of months after the surgery (January, maybe). I didn't, though.

The dependency/addiction set in. The morphine masked all my emotions and took my cares and worries away. Plus, the doctors are more than willing to keep you on the meds until your brain turns to absolute mush.

So, I'm good. I got really pissed at myself for succumbing to the addictive behavior. I feel no physical pain ... only great regret for not having faced down this evil bitch earlier. I fear I am a major pussy when it comes to narcotics.

FAX

I'm very glad you don't have pain. That makes your process easier. I didn't know if the Crohns and the 9 kajillion surgeries (roughly) you in pain. You're in the money. Keep your head up and beat this thing. You got this.

I have a neighbor and friend that's a UCLA Psychology professor and we often chat on while walking our dogs.

He's told me that these days, "psychology" is more about prescribing drugs, when it should be about therapy and drugs when needed.

Our whole society is becoming over-medicated.

Now, by that, I'm not talking about necessary medications for asthmatics, allergies, cholesterol, heart, cancer, etc.

I'm talking about the wholesale selling of narcotics and psychotropic drugs to "solve" problems that should be addressed otherwise.

It's very troubling.

I'd agree with that. My wife teaches and she says that there are a huge number of kids on ADD drugs that don't have ADD. Kids are kids. Some are hyper. That doesn't mean they have ADD.

WTF is the next generation going to be? Scary.

beach tribe
08-15-2010, 10:12 AM
Relapse in 3.....2......1......

Just because your bitch ass relapsed after getting hooked on pain killers, from the pain of your super "rad" ultimate cliche' skull tattoos that you have all over your arms.(seriously you have the tramp stamp of men's tattoos) doesn't mean FAX will relapse.
Hang in there FAX.

go bowe
08-15-2010, 11:39 AM
Just because your bitch ass relapsed after getting hooked on pain killers, from the pain of your super "rad" ultimate cliche' skull tattoos that you have all over your arms.(seriously you have the tramp stamp of men's tattoos) doesn't mean FAX will relapse.
Hang in there FAX.tramp stamp...

love it...

NewChief
08-15-2010, 11:47 AM
Wow. What's up with the Scorp hate? Please refer me to the original thread.

KcFanInGA
08-15-2010, 12:12 PM
Good luck FAX. Your story inspires me that anything can be quit. You've already quit, now just stay quit.

Pants
08-15-2010, 12:21 PM
FAX, you're an amazingly strong-willed individual. Not many people can even come close to doing what you're doing. Not many at all. STAY STRONG, man. Sounds like the very worst of it is behind you. Now you just gotta keep fighting the war after having won some very tough battles!

Phobia
08-15-2010, 12:47 PM
Great job, FAX. This is especially scary because you're a brilliant mind and still got hooked.

ElGringo
08-15-2010, 01:20 PM
I just wanted to say thanks for threads like this. While I feel bad for you, and you do have all my thoughts and hopes, it reminds me never to try these things.

I do have an addictive type personality, and have been hooked on many things (still like my booze and smokes). I am planning a trip back to the states now where I will visit some old friends. These friends use all kinds of different pills, and I have never tried any (even when offered). I was tempted to try one on this trip as it will be only a few days with them, then I will have no contact with the drugs for a long time. This reminds me, do not bother trying for fear of addiction if only "trying" for a few days.

beach tribe
08-15-2010, 04:34 PM
Yep, ElGringo. The best decision is to never even try the crap, because the stigmas attached to this shit disappear if you happen to like em' and I can promise you that you will like em' Stay away from it. I would not wish the consequences of abuse on my worst enemy, and especially not on a cool dude such as yourself.

FAX
08-15-2010, 04:58 PM
Sunday Report From Satan's Ass Crack:

Today was a bad day. Yesterday I was pretty active (comparatively). Today, however, I felt completely wasted. No energy. Apparently, detoxification is not a straight line, but more like a seesaw lifting you toward hope and then dumping your sorry ass back to oblivion. Uncool and frustrating beyond belief.

I'm beginning to wonder just how long before "normal" sets in. Then again, will I be able to remember what "normal" feels like? Troubling thought, that. Still, whatever I'm experiencing is better than the drugs which were leading me inexorably nowhere ... or worse.

Thanks for your continued support guys. Writing these posts seems to help somehow. Reading yours helps immensely (except, of course, for Mr. Scorp who can kiss my ass ... no relapsing allowed in my world, dude).

FAX

DaneMcCloud
08-15-2010, 05:01 PM
Sunday Report From Satan's Ass Crack:

Today was a bad day. Yesterday I was pretty active (comparatively). Today, however, I felt completely wasted. No energy. Apparently, detoxification is not a straight line, but more like a seesaw lifting you toward hope and then dumping your sorry ass back to oblivion. Uncool and frustrating beyond belief.

I'm beginning to wonder just how long before "normal" sets in. Then again, will I be able to remember what "normal" feels like? Troubling thought, that. Still, whatever I'm experiencing is better than the drugs which were leading me inexorably nowhere ... or worse.

Thanks for your continued support guys. Writing these posts seems to help somehow. Reading yours helps immensely (except, of course, for Mr. Scorp who can kiss my ass ... no relapsing allowed in my world, dude).

FAX

Dude, you're hanging in there which means you're doing great, regardless of how shitty you feel today.

Do you have the NFL Network? If so, they're basically re-broadcasting every preseason game from the past few days plus a few live games as well. Maybe some football will help a little.

Be well.

Gonzo
08-15-2010, 05:05 PM
Relapse in 3.....2......1......
You stay classy.
Posted via Mobile Device

FAX
08-15-2010, 05:06 PM
Dude, you're hanging in there which means you're doing great, regardless of how shitty you feel today.

Do you have the NFL Network? If so, they're basically re-broadcasting every preseason game from the past few days plus a few live games as well. Maybe some football will help a little.

Be well.

The beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX and I are watching all the Jesse Stone (Tom Selleck) movies in sequence. As much as I enjoy football, I enjoy spending time with that chick a lot more ... especially now.

Thanks for the tip, though. I'd like to catch the Chiefs/Falcons game in its entirety at some point. I'll check the schedule. Thanks, man.

FAX

Phobia
08-15-2010, 05:10 PM
Hang in there bud. Each day is going to be better. Even if you don't feel better, it's another day your body has to flush the chemicals and purify. So while you don't feel much progress today, be certain that your body appreciates your efforts.

FAX
08-15-2010, 05:16 PM
Hang in there bud. Each day is going to be better. Even if you don't feel better, it's another day your body has to flush the chemicals and purify. So while you don't feel much progress today, be certain that your body appreciates your efforts.

I'm doing everything possible. Sweats. Electrolytes. Exercise (as possible). Suppliments. Problem is that the drugs (apparently, and over time) effect every aspect of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual systems. Recovery appears to be far more difficult than I had originally imagined it might be ... unsettling ... but these problems will help me avoid temptation in future.

The lesson is simple: prescription morphine tablets are Devil Turds, man.

FAX

go bowe
08-15-2010, 06:03 PM
I'm doing everything possible. Sweats. Electrolytes. Exercise (as possible). Suppliments. Problem is that the drugs (apparently, and over time) effect every aspect of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual systems. Recovery appears to be far more difficult than I had originally imagined it might be ... unsettling ... but these problems will help me avoid temptation in future.

The lesson is simple: prescription morphine tablets are Devil Turds, man.

FAXand we used to say speed kills (circa 1966)...

opiates are worse...

i count my blessings everyday that i hate needles so bad i never tried heroin, well maybe i tried a little bit, but without any needles...

Ana88bac
08-16-2010, 11:47 AM
.....just wanted to say I'm going through it too, man. Methadone was my drug of choice - luckily a relatively low dose, for only a few months. I'm on Day 7 and I feel indescribably awful. How are you doing? Any sleep?

Just wanted to say I know exactly what you're going through.:huh:

vailpass
08-16-2010, 11:56 AM
Sunday Report From Satan's Ass Crack:

Today was a bad day. Yesterday I was pretty active (comparatively). Today, however, I felt completely wasted. No energy. Apparently, detoxification is not a straight line, but more like a seesaw lifting you toward hope and then dumping your sorry ass back to oblivion. Uncool and frustrating beyond belief.

I'm beginning to wonder just how long before "normal" sets in. Then again, will I be able to remember what "normal" feels like? Troubling thought, that. Still, whatever I'm experiencing is better than the drugs which were leading me inexorably nowhere ... or worse.

Thanks for your continued support guys. Writing these posts seems to help somehow. Reading yours helps immensely (except, of course, for Mr. Scorp who can kiss my ass ... no relapsing allowed in my world, dude).

FAX

Best to you FAX. I admire your candor. It seems that openly addressing our problems are a way of admitting them and facing them at the same time. For me that would be very hard to do so I compliment you in that regard.
Don't let your meatloaf.
Don't let your hormone.

Peace

PhillyChiefFan
08-16-2010, 12:04 PM
I'm doing everything possible. Sweats. Electrolytes. Exercise (as possible). Suppliments. Problem is that the drugs (apparently, and over time) effect every aspect of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual systems. Recovery appears to be far more difficult than I had originally imagined it might be ... unsettling ... but these problems will help me avoid temptation in future.

The lesson is simple: prescription morphine tablets are Devil Turds, man.

FAX

You'll beat this, cause you have a true desire to do so.

My wife works in a treatment facility and I have heard awful stories, but I have also heard stories of people who are severely addicted to drugs/pills or what have you and beating the addiction, then coming back and helping other people beat theirs. It's truly inspirational.

The absolute best of luck to you Mr. FAX.

FAX
08-16-2010, 12:05 PM
Best to you FAX. I admire your candor. It seems that openly addressing our problems are a way of admitting them and facing them at the same time. For me that would be very hard to do so I compliment you in that regard.
Don't let your meatloaf.
Don't let your hormone.

Peace

ChiefsPlanet has always been a form of therapy for me, Mr. vailpass ... after all, I'm a Chiefs fan. As for the drug dependency, I make no apologies or excuses ... my spine was broken and I needed the drugs to survive both prior to and after surgery. Problem is (like many before me) I became dependent on the morphine. It happens.

My goal is now to shed myself of that dependency and, frankly, I'll do whatever is necessary to accomplish that objective. As I mentioned in a prior post ... I could see my life degrading in subtle but measurable ways as I used the drugs to "feel better".

So, now I feel like crap, but I know that I will eventually return to "normal" ... whatever that is. Meanwhile, if my experience can either A) Motivate others to quit or B) Prevent others from succumbing to prescription narcotics addition, all the better.

FAX

PhillyChiefFan
08-16-2010, 12:07 PM
.....just wanted to say I'm going through it too, man. Methadone was my drug of choice - luckily a relatively low dose, for only a few months. I'm on Day 7 and I feel indescribably awful. How are you doing? Any sleep?

Just wanted to say I know exactly what you're going through.:huh:

My post goes for you too, best of luck.

Truly hope it gets easier quickly.

patteeu
08-16-2010, 12:12 PM
You have much to learn about the ways of modern medicine, Mr. patteeu.

They know you're hooked. Eventually, one of two things happen; either you screw up a piss test (because you over-dosed during the month) and they take away your meds or you just keep getting the scripts because they know you can't help yourself. Once a month, you return to the pain clinic, pick up your script, and pay about 300 bucks for a 15 minute consult. That's the deal. No questions. No problem.

Not once did any of my doctors (about 6) consult with me as to a method or means for getting off the drugs. Not one time. There are more people in this country addicted to prescription pain meds than we can imagine.

FAX

That's sobering.

(Pun intended). ;)

MOhillbilly
08-16-2010, 12:12 PM
So, now I feel like crap, but I know that I will eventually return to "normal" ... whatever that is.
FAX

This is the crux.

FAX
08-16-2010, 12:21 PM
You'll beat this, cause you have a true desire to do so.

My wife works in a treatment facility and I have heard awful stories, but I have also heard stories of people who are severely addicted to drugs/pills or what have you and beating the addiction, then coming back and helping other people beat theirs. It's truly inspirational.

The absolute best of luck to you Mr. FAX.

Thanks, man. It's funny, but I contacted Vanderbilt's detox center some time back as I was considering their services for this deal. The lady who took my call said that "everyone" goes back on the drugs after detox ... "everyone". I was shocked.

My guess is that they make it easy (or easier) by "tapering" you down using Suboxone or similar drugs. I wanted to go the David Crosby route because I recalled a quote of his ... he said, "If I had a choice of being an addict again or going back to prison, put the cuffs on me now."

I interpreted that to mean that the withdrawal sucked so much his pea brain finally got the message. As for my pea brain, it definitely has.

FAX

vailpass
08-16-2010, 12:25 PM
That's sobering.

(Pun intended). ;)

That seems unreal. How can they know they are getting you hooked on that stuff yet not counsel and assist you?

FAX
08-16-2010, 12:39 PM
That seems unreal. How can they know they are getting you hooked on that stuff yet not counsel and assist you?

The pain centers (the script writers) just write prescriptions. That's all they do. Their model is to deal with DEA issues and keep piss test records. I have not once received any advice and/or support from those guys ... other than to refer me to a detox center.

Detox centers charge tons of money. Vandy, for example, is upwards of $2500 a day ... typical stay being 10 days. Other centers charge anywhere from 7 grand to 20 or 30 grand in California, for example. Interestingly, most insurance doesn't cover a lot of detox expense.

They hook your ass then they make money detoxifying you. It's a racket.

Hell of a business model, though. Lots of repeat customers.

FAX

FAX
08-16-2010, 12:40 PM
This is the crux.

If you could "unpack" that cryptic statement, I would be most grateful, Mr. MOhillbilly.

It sounds as though you may know something I don't.

FAX

Iowanian
08-16-2010, 12:57 PM
There once was a man over-pilled
now that he's quit he is chilled
once squirrelly on dope
he's finding new hope
and now all of his friends are thrilled



For some reason, I felt this thread should have a poetic verse.

Pants
08-16-2010, 12:59 PM
There once was a man over-pilled
now that he's quit he is chilled
once squirrelly on dope
he's finding new hope
and now all of his friends are thrilled



For some reason, I felt this thread should have a poetic verse.

:clap:

vailpass
08-16-2010, 01:01 PM
The pain centers (the script writers) just write prescriptions. That's all they do. Their model is to deal with DEA issues and keep piss test records. I have not once received any advice and/or support from those guys ... other than to refer me to a detox center.

Detox centers charge tons of money. Vandy, for example, is upwards of $2500 a day ... typical stay being 10 days. Other centers charge anywhere from 7 grand to 20 or 30 grand in California, for example. Interestingly, most insurance doesn't cover a lot of detox expense.

They hook your ass then they make money detoxifying you. It's a racket.

Hell of a business model, though. Lots of repeat customers.

FAX

Unreal. Perhaps somewhere in all of this there is a cause for you to take up.

MOhillbilly
08-16-2010, 01:04 PM
After being high for so long you forget what your 'normal' is. Finding your sober 'normal' is hard and scary.

I remember somewhere around 98ish thinking what this would be like.

You better hold fast mr fax.

FAX
08-19-2010, 09:47 PM
I know it's time for this thread to die in some kind of aids fire or something, but I wanted to end it the right way ... based merely on the rationale that somebody ... someday ... somewhere ... may find themselves in a similar situation and, if so, they will need to know some of this ...

Today is day 15 (I think that's right - it's real darn close, anyhow). As of now, I feel fine. No problems whatsoever. The withdrawal symptoms are almost completely gone and the lethargy/malaise (that Mr. beach tribe so correctly warned me about) is slowly but steadily abating.

So, what have we learned boys and girls?

We have learned that prescription narcotics are actually little turd nuggets produced directly from Satan's ass and (no matter who you are) they can and will kick your frigging butt all the way to Hell and gone with neither doubt nor delay.

We have learned that, after two years or so of taking very high daily dosages, you can, in fact, beat the dependency.

We have learned that true desire, nutritious food, tons of vitamin, protein, and amino acid supplements, exercise, and lots of support from friends and family make all the difference.

Interestingly, my senses are coming to life in a way I had forgotten they actually worked ... taste, smell, sight, hearing, touch ... it's all very different, now. More acute ... much more, actually. Also, I've noticed that my brain is functioning a little differently ... I've been writing more in the last three days than in the last several months combined. Crazy. I was simply unaware of how effectively the morphine was dulling my senses and systems.

Anyhow, I just wanted to wrap this up ... 15 days ... that's not a lot to tackle when you consider the alternative. And, from where I'm sitting, it's well worth the effort.

Thanks for all the good wishes and support, guys. Couldn't have done it without you.

FAX

DeezNutz
08-19-2010, 09:50 PM
Arguably one of the best posts I've ever read on this site. Well done. Well done.

Simply Red
08-19-2010, 10:38 PM
feels better, for sure. Well done.

Buehler445
08-19-2010, 10:50 PM
:rockon:

Fuck yeah FAX.

I'm so goddamn happy you're doing well. Congratulations. Stay off the juice, bud.

DaneMcCloud
08-19-2010, 10:52 PM
I know it's time for this thread to die in some kind of aids fire or something, but I wanted to end it the right way ... based merely on the rationale that somebody ... someday ... somewhere ... may find themselves in a similar situation and, if so, they will need to know some of this ...

Today is day 15 (I think that's right - it's real darn close, anyhow). As of now, I feel fine. No problems whatsoever. The withdrawal symptoms are almost completely gone and the lethargy/malaise (that Mr. beach tribe so correctly warned me about) is slowly but steadily abating.

So, what have we learned boys and girls?

We have learned that prescription narcotics are actually little turd nuggets produced directly from Satan's ass and (no matter who you are) they can and will kick your frigging butt all the way to Hell and gone with neither doubt nor delay.

We have learned that, after two years or so of taking very high daily dosages, you can, in fact, beat the dependency.

We have learned that true desire, nutritious food, tons of vitamin, protein, and amino acid supplements, exercise, and lots of support from friends and family make all the difference.

Interestingly, my senses are coming to life in a way I had forgotten they actually worked ... taste, smell, sight, hearing, touch ... it's all very different, now. More acute ... much more, actually. Also, I've noticed that my brain is functioning a little differently ... I've been writing more in the last three days than in the last several months combined. Crazy. I was simply unaware of how effectively the morphine was dulling my senses and systems.

Anyhow, I just wanted to wrap this up ... 15 days ... that's not a lot to tackle when you consider the alternative. And, from where I'm sitting, it's well worth the effort.

Thanks for all the good wishes and support, guys. Couldn't have done it without you.

FAX

What was tougher to kick, Fax? Banging Bo Derek or opiates?

:D

Just kiddin', Bro. I'm glad you're well (even though I'm in the Draftablutor doghouse).

Be well, Friend.

BillSelfsTrophycase
08-19-2010, 10:54 PM
Keep fighting the good fight Mr. Fax...It's not easy, but nothing worth gaining ever is

Otter
08-19-2010, 10:54 PM
Way to go Fax!

Do. Not. Do. It. Ever! Again!!!

Extra Point
08-19-2010, 10:54 PM
Good luck, Mr. FAX!

Find yourself another hypnotic way to relax!

BossChief
08-19-2010, 11:17 PM
I just read through this thread and I applaud your strength and dedication to self preservation through this.

Good stuff and very well done!

DaFace
08-19-2010, 11:26 PM
http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc177/azimSH/clap.gif

Fairplay
08-19-2010, 11:42 PM
Way to go FAX i knew you would win the battle my friend.

You can always learn something in life toughest battles, maybe you can help others through this that are struggling with this nasty, just awful addiction.

patteeu
08-19-2010, 11:55 PM
I've been writing more in the last three days than in the last several months combined. Crazy.

I hope this means that the long awaited sequel to Wendy Meets A Draftabulator is going to be released soon.

Sweet Daddy Hate
08-20-2010, 02:20 AM
Sincere congratulations Mr. Fax. Getting that yolk off of your neck and finding your center again is one very tall order but as long as you truly respect and cherish the freedom you just fought for and earned, you will find new and better ways to both live and actually enjoy your life again.
Now is the time to seriously re-investigate and chart out some of the ideas and goals that you've had but maybe felt that they we're too "far-fetched" at the time you were floating in the Opiate Stasis Haze.

Best of luck my good Sir.

gblowfish
08-20-2010, 08:30 AM
Well the Chiefs must play better this year. I don't think it would be fair to put Mr. Fax through all this, PLUS another four win season.

Pants
08-20-2010, 08:34 AM
You must feel like Superman right now, Mr. FAX. If you have enough willpower to beat opiates, you have enough willpower to do whatever you want. Simple as that.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2010, 08:55 AM
FAX,

Sorry to have missed/over-looked this, as I'm not around here as much as I used to be. The road you are on is tough, but you are tougher. Hang in there, man.

Gracie Dean
08-20-2010, 06:42 PM
Sunday Report From Satan's Ass Crack:

Today was a bad day. Yesterday I was pretty active (comparatively). Today, however, I felt completely wasted. No energy. Apparently, detoxification is not a straight line, but more like a seesaw lifting you toward hope and then dumping your sorry ass back to oblivion. Uncool and frustrating beyond belief.

I'm beginning to wonder just how long before "normal" sets in. Then again, will I be able to remember what "normal" feels like? Troubling thought, that. Still, whatever I'm experiencing is better than the drugs which were leading me inexorably nowhere ... or worse.

Thanks for your continued support guys. Writing these posts seems to help somehow. Reading yours helps immensely (except, of course, for Mr. Scorp who can kiss my ass ... no relapsing allowed in my world, dude).

FAX


Fax, how are you sleeping at night? After the hospital and being on Diluadid and then 2 10 mg lortab every 4 hours, for 30 days I just about went nuts and couldn't sleep. My muscles needed streteched every 2 or 3 seconds and it seemed like every other night I got about 4 hours of sleep for about a month

Rausch
09-16-2010, 04:35 AM
If it wasn't for the fact that they slowly but surely ruin every aspect of your life in every possible and conceivable respect, they wouldn't be so bad.

FAX

So they're less expensive but otherwise just like women?...