View Full Version : Video Games It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum... and I'm all outta gum.

09-07-2010, 01:12 PM
I won't believe it till it's downloaded and running but Duke Nukem rears his head yet once again:



"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum... and I'm all outta gum."

"Hail to the king baby!", Duke Nukem is back. Some may take Friday's announcement of Duke Nukem Forever's resurrection as a sign of the end of times, but it's hard not to feel a bit of excitement that maybe, just maybe, this bad joke could transform into a modern first-person shooter gem.

For today's younger generation of gamers, Duke Nukem may not ring many more bells than Q*bert, but there was a time when the brash talking, hyper-masculine, buzz-cut womanizer Duke headlined one of the best selling first person shooters of its decade (Duke Nukem 3D).

By the year 2009, those who still remembered the games used them more frequently in punchlines than in praise. After all, Duke Nukem 3D's sequel, the ironically named Duke Nukem Forever, had seen an extraordinarily bizarre development lifecycle with developer 3D Realms still without a finished title after 12 years of development, dating back to 1997. Then in mid-2009 Take-Two Interactive, who had purchased publishing rights, sued cash-strapped 3D Realms, just as the company was reportedly finishing up the long awaited title.

The ensuing legal battle was settled with undisclosed terms in May of this year.

3D Realms retained the rights to the game. And in perhaps the wisest decision it had made concerning the seemingly cursed title, it decided to hand over the development reins to Randy Pitchford's studio Gearbox Software.

Mr. Pitchford was no Nukem newbie. He had been hired in the 1990s to help development Duke Nukem 3D. And while he left 3D Realms just as Duke Nukem Forever was kicking into full swing, Mr. Pitchford always kept a soft spot for the machismo-machine that made him a software superstar.

On Friday at the Penny Arcade Expo in Seattle, Mr. Pitchford let the cat out of the bag showing off a 15-minute live gameplay demo [video here] filled with sexual innuendo, violence, and suitably attractive graphics. And according to Mr. Pitchford the game is nearly finished, and will launch complete with multiplayer. He states in a recent interview, "It's a large, large game."

If you think Mr. Pitchford might be tempted to tone the game down for today's more sensitive audience, think again. It looks to be headed for a solid "M" -- if it catches the ESRB folks on a generous day.

Mr. Pitchford describes the protagonist, remarking, "In Duke's world this is all real shit. These fucking aliens are here and they're fucking our planet up and they're taking our chicks. There's a reason for that, and Duke is the only guy who can stop them. In his universe, that all makes perfect sense. As a result, he is the most important person in his universe. And he knows it. He enjoys it. He franchises it! He's got Duke Burgers opened up all over the country. It's a weird universe, but it works for him. He's the king!"

But the "king" has his work cut out for him if he hopes to win back gamers. After all if there's one thing more deadly than a pack of babe-stealing aliens, it's the risk of remaining a punchline from one more delay.

Despite the risk, Mr. Pitchford is the picture of confidence and exuberance. He says he can understand if some are skeptical, but promises not to disappoint. He states, "I think everybody feels the way I felt when Duke was in trouble in 2009. Yeah, we've been jerked around. But we kind of want him to be triumphant. In Duke's time of need, we almost want to support him. And I'm feeling that kind of love."

As for Nukem, he appears to be feeling the love, too.

The demo concludes with the camera panning out to show that the whole intro experience was just a console game being played by the real Duke Nukem. And Duke has company -- a pair of females, who appear to have been giving old Nukem some oral pleasure. One of them takes a breather and looks up at him to ask, "So how was the game Duke, was it any good?"

He gruffly remarks, "Yeah, but after 12 fucking years . . . it better be."

09-07-2010, 01:14 PM
Supposed to be in media center...sorry, still recovering from the weekend.

09-07-2010, 01:18 PM
Supposed to be in media center...sorry, still recovering from the weekend.

Yeah, plus it's a repost.

09-07-2010, 01:19 PM
Yea, plus, wasnt the line stolen from "They Live" ? :)

09-07-2010, 01:20 PM
it doesn't make as much sense as it did back then, back when it came out it commando, eraser, arnie, sly, flicks were fresh in our heads.

09-07-2010, 01:21 PM
Yeah, plus it's a repost.

That's what she said.

Of course it's a repost you twit...

09-07-2010, 01:21 PM
arnie throws a steam pipe at some dude in red heat " let of some steam"

09-07-2010, 01:22 PM
Yea, plus, wasnt the line stolen from "They Live" ? :)

Except he fucked it up.

09-07-2010, 01:24 PM
That's what she said.

Of course it's a repost you twit...

Posting an obvious repost that would belong in the Media Center even if it wasn't a repost makes you a twit, dumbass, not calling the said dumbass out.

09-07-2010, 01:42 PM
This game is advanced.


BEER Look at them crazy controls!

09-07-2010, 01:59 PM
Yea, plus, wasnt the line stolen from "They Live" ? :)

And Army Of Darkness....and....Jesus Christ...that game.

Psyko Tek
09-07-2010, 11:11 PM
life needs a BEER button

09-07-2010, 11:25 PM
"Shake it, Baby"!