How do you tell a girl

[PRIEST]

She must look like she's got Buckwheat in a leg lock.


Damn :)

[Radar Chief]

"You know what I like about high school girls? I keep getting older, but they stay the same age."

:clap: /David Wooderson

[Rausch]

You know, the wife had been getting a little jungle lately. I just sent her a link to this thread and now she's in the shower with a sickle.

We have a streaming video thread now...

[eazyb81]

Nasty.

If she doesn't take primo care of that area already then she's not worth getting serious with.

[Iowanian]

IS she a bow hunter?

Maybe she just participates in Novembeard.



Call her Joe Dirt because of her Cooter Mullet.
You could name her hooha "Martha Stewart" because it's such a large lady garden.

[siberian khatru]

"You know what I like about high school girls? I keep getting older, but they stay the same age."

God, I love that movie, and that's my favorite line.

[Rausch]

God, I love that movie, and that's my favorite line.

....

http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m133/malnino/posters/free_candy_van.jpg

[MOhillbilly]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_4tuTYxrUM

[gblowfish]

Buy her a T-Shirt...

[Iowanian]

Maybe you should just be happy you're getting some, instead of shooting half of china into a tube sock every saturday night.

[MOhillbilly]

lol

[Iowanian]

Take a cell phone pic when you've got your face buried.

You can do impressions of a civil war General.
http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/94654-muttonchops.jpg

Or take a can of Hair gel down with you and make some cooter art.
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQxcPT4H5nQxn1AvDBwPg4GRADfinsBu0jBXbfeKo1GGbDX5RA&t=1&usg=__0jFTdUxkM5MKkQ5xBjXvEFDJGR4=

[HoneyBadger]

I think I'm going to tell her today. I have a feeling it won't turn out well.

[Delano]

I think I'm going to tell her today. I have a feeling it won't turn out well.

http://i.imgur.com/rWfLq.gif

[MOhillbilly]

long time ago i had nice little thing in bed ready to do the dirty. When she took her pants off it smelled like someone took a shit in the room.
I just handed her pants back got up and went back to drinking. She kept askin me what was wrong and i just kept drinkin.

[Iowanian]

I think I'm going to tell her today. I have a feeling it won't turn out well.

Welcome back, Lover
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQaZli02q1jCY3dVEgauHA4KMUtkPt3SfXycIw1HMNr9_o0gJg&t=1&usg=__SapLErt84jpq1G4iNmlbS8wCJJk=

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Tell her your landlord would kick you out if you went that long without cutting the grass.

I think I'm going to tell her today. I have a feeling it won't turn out well.

Sometimes the first answer is the best answer. Just do it.

[Iowanian]

My prediction is she'll get embarrassed, maybe cry, and you'll never hoe in that lady garden again.

[MTG#10]

I swear this isnt my mult

[JD10367]

Welcome back, Lover
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQaZli02q1jCY3dVEgauHA4KMUtkPt3SfXycIw1HMNr9_o0gJg&t=1&usg=__SapLErt84jpq1G4iNmlbS8wCJJk=

http://www.vinayswastik.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/rofl-brothel.gif

[luv]

I beginning to understand why she has never got much action before. Poor her.

Dude. We are supposed to dis your woman. She's your woman. You're supposed to stand up for her, not join in. Chivalry is dead.

[Iowanian]

No....to answer any questions before they are asked, that isn't Colonel Angus in the photo.



If you like everything else about the girl enough to spend that much time with her, you're pretty much a doucher to say something like that. I doubt you've used the business end of your business end much more than she has.

[HoneyBadger]

Dude. We are supposed to dis your woman. She's your woman. You're supposed to stand up for her, not join in. Chivalry is dead.

It has been dead for a while you, as a girl, should know.

[vailpass]

Invite her to play the "word of the day" game.
Then tell her the word of the day is 'vajazzle'.

[Rausch]

Dude. We are supposed to dis your woman. She's your woman. You're supposed to stand up for her, not join in. Chivalry is dead.

That $#it died once I had to pay for a purse for every outfit for every pair of shoes for every craving for every emotion to match every holliday depending on each individual season and then be EXPECTED to pretend not only that I give a fat frog's ass but that I ENJOY this fucking lunacy...

[RedNFeisty]

Are you guys kidding me with this shit!?!?! Is it really hard to have a conversation with a person you like regarding turn ons, turn offs?? Likes, dislikes? Some where in the conversation bring up the fact you like a clean landing strip, or whatever it is you like.

Communication is key to any relationship. It is all a matter of tact and common courtesy.

[RedNFeisty]

That $#it died once I had to pay for a purse for every outfit for every pair of shoes for every craving for every emotion to match every holliday depending on each individual season and then be EXPECTED to pretend not only that I give a fat frog's ass but that I ENJOY this ****ing lunacy...

ROFLROFLROFLROFL

And who's the silly one?? :)

I would say the one who shells out the cash for shit he doesn't care about to please a woman shallow enough to need all of that crap. But, that is just the way my crazy brain works...lol

[FAX]

I have an idea.

Purchase some really tiny Christmas ornaments and some really tiny tinsel. Then, ask her to do a nude handstand in the corner so you can decorate her zone of mysteries like a little tree.

FAX

[Rausch]

ROFLROFLROFLROFL

And who's the silly one?? :)

I would say the one who shells out the cash for shit he doesn't care about to please a woman shallow enough to need all of that crap. But, that is just the way my crazy brain works...lol

Nein, fraulein, I'm not that kinda' guy.

But that's exactly why I'll die single should something happen to the wife...

[luv]

It has been dead for a while you, as a girl, should know.

Dump her now. She's better off.

[Beef Supreme]

Screw all you pedos who want women to look like children. I want a bush so thick that I don't know whether to eat it or scrape my cleats on it. I want it to look like she is giving birth to a bear cub.

Shape it up a bit, sure, but none of this bald nonsense. It ain't natural.

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

Screw all you pedos who want women to look like children. I want a bush so thick that I don't know whether to eat it or scrape my cleats on it. I want it to look like she is giving birth to a bear cub.

Shape it up a bit, sure, but none of this bald nonsense. It ain't natural.

ROFL

[DJ's left nut]

BTW - in case this hasn't already been mentioned, the easiest, most fun and least likely to offend way to do this is to scorch the earth yourself.

Just shave yourself and make a joke out of it (okay, your turn) or something to that effect. It works out well.

And sex is better without all that crap getting matted and nasty.

Just sayin'...

[Rausch]

"I love you but if you don't cut that $#it I will..."

[Radar Chief]

Screw all you pedos who want women to look like children. I want a bush so thick that I don't know whether to eat it or scrape my cleats on it. I want it to look like she is giving birth to a bear cub.

Shape it up a bit, sure, but none of this bald nonsense. It ain't natural.

:clap: /Harry Reems

[tooge]

ask her if she's ever gone cave hunting in the jungle

[Al Bundy]

Are you guys kidding me with this shit!?!?! Is it really hard to have a conversation with a person you like regarding turn ons, turn offs?? Likes, dislikes? Some where in the conversation bring up the fact you like a clean landing strip, or whatever it is you like.

Communication is key to any relationship. It is all a matter of tact and common courtesy.

and that begs the question....

[threebag]

Dude. Chivalry is dead.


So is the electric razor.

[booger]

i always prefer the zebra stripe dorito


http://img100.imageshack.us/img100/7196/zstripedorito.png

[booger]

don't be shy draw your favorites of puby shaved patterns, baldys, and whisker puffs.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

http://www.chiangdao.com/chiangdaotemples.jpg

[booger]

mossy swamp, nice

[Mr. Flopnuts]

http://lydiaburris.com/art/The_Thick_Forest_Beyond.jpg

[Archie F. Swin]

Might be best to just link this thread to her facebook page. At this rate, it would be quite difficult to commit all this advice to memory.

[Iowanian]

Are you guys kidding me with this shit!?!?! Is it really hard to have a conversation with a person you like regarding turn ons, turn offs?? Likes, dislikes? Some where in the conversation bring up the fact you like a clean landing strip, or whatever it is you like.

Communication is key to any relationship. It is all a matter of tact and common courtesy.


Yeah!. The key to repairing your relationship is to have her create an account here, and then after excess communication, have a public communication about your Beaverdale Revitalization project right here in the wide open.


I think in this case, if you're open to suggestion...her screen name should be Winona.

[Delano]

Woman demands sexual favors from husband and his friend at knife point (http://www.jacksonnewspapers.com/news/x1272825004/Woman-demands-sexual-favors-from-husband-and-his-friend-at-knife-point)

By Chris Stephens
Jackson Newspapers (http://www.jacksonnewspapers.com/)
Posted Nov 02, 2010 @ 02:37 PM
Last update Nov 03, 2010 @ 11:53 AM

Fairplain, W.Va. —

An unwanted sexual advance landed a Ripley woman in jail after she allegedly brandished a knife to get her “request” met.

Jackson County Sheriff’s Deputy R. Mellinger responded to a possible domestic dispute at the I-77 Motor Inn near Fairplain last Friday. Upon arriving, Mellinger met Danny R. William, James A. Watson and Melissa L. Williams; Danny and Melissa are estranged spouses who live four doors down from each other within the I-77 Motor Inn.

Mellinger stated he observed Melissa to be naked from the waist down, sitting in a living room chair, inside Danny’s apartment.

According to the complaint, Danny and Watson told Mellinger that Melissa came to the apartment intoxicated, asked each of them to perform a sexual act on her and took off her pants and underwear, which Mellinger observed lying on the floor at her feet.

Danny stated that he declined the invitation, however, Watson agreed he would perform at her request. The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further.

It was at this point Melissa allegedly produced a lock-back folding knife, pointed it at Danny and stated, “somebody is going to [perform a sexual act on me] or I’m going to cut your [expletive] throat.”

According to Mellinger, there was a small black handled lock-back knife lying on the coffee table in front of Melissa but when asked about the knife she stated “It was already here”; he also stated that all subjects appeared to be intoxicated and smelled badly of an alcoholic beverage.
Melissa Williams, 42, of Ripley was charged with domestic assault and brandishing; her bond was set at $3,000.

[Bugeater]

You know you're dealing with quality people when they 'live' at a 'motor inn'.

[KChiefer]

What's good for the goose...same goes for oral. Do you "manscape?" If not, maybe you should do it first or ask if you think you should. Then simply ask her if she ever trims/shaves or thinks about it. Maybe she's still a little "wet" in that area. One of the best times to talk about your bodies is right after hooking up. You both feel accepted and can talk openly.

Or just tell her you run a website called thick2slick.com and you want her to be December's model.

More passive? Inception. Take her to see "Clippers" games.

[RockChalk]

So did you tell her? I NEED CLOSURE!!!!

[J Diddy]

You know you're dealing with quality people when they 'live' at a 'motor inn'.

It could be worse, they could be the bums sleeping outside the motor inn.

[Titty Meat]

Just lick her ass there can't be too much hair on that side

[Otter]

You make sure you're manscaped, have sex and say "look toots, if you want me going into the jungle you're going to have to cut down some trees".

If you two are already bumping uglies the two of you should be beyond this conversation.

But in case a good sign a girl feels comfortable around you is when you take her out to dinner and she actually orders a decent dinner and wolfs it down like she's hungry and then is ready to hump afterward.

At this point, young jedi, she's ready to listen.

[J Diddy]

you should burn a cd featuring "keep the grass cut" by lil wayne and play it over and over and over

[boogblaster]

take her to california they know how to set bush-fires

[booger]

Just lick her ass there can't be too much hair on that side

i bet the back door is so furry and intertwangled that when she poops it shreds the turd and comes out looking like burnt french fries

[El Jefe]

i bet the back door is so furry and intertwangled that when she poops it shreds the turd and comes out looking like burnt french fries

LMAO LMAO LMAO

[HoneyBadger]

I asked her if I made a suggestion on how she could change her appearance for me, would she accept it?

Her response was "I won't change anything about my appearance for you."

I figured the conversation wasn't going to go well and gave up.

[Demonpenz]

Tell her to stop being so mexican.

[booger]

.

[thebrad84]

I asked her if I made a suggestion on how she could change her appearance for me, would she accept it?

Her response was "I won't change anything about my appearance for you."

I figured the conversation wasn't going to go well and gave up.

Dude, really. If this bothers you (and it sure would bother me) that much then you just need to tell her, straight up, that you would be incredibly turned on if she would shave downstairs. Just tell her you think it looks so sexy when a girl is smooth down there. If she freaks out, says no, or acts mad/embarrassed, then you are better off to end the relationship now instead of investing more time. That is, unless she is letting you PIIHB. In that case wait it out for as long as you can stand it. :D

[wutamess]

I asked her if I made a suggestion on how she could change her appearance for me, would she accept it?

Her response was "I won't change anything about my appearance for you."

I figured the conversation wasn't going to go well and gave up.

Are you freakin serious? You don't deserve a valid response if you're acting retarded about it. Just teller her to shave her shit. If she does it's a good deal. If she doesn't deal with it or make it a deal breaker.

If you're acting like this over a freaking landing strip as opposed to the kunt of a 2yo, I'd hate to see any bigger issue come to the table.

Freaking Cali Metro-Sectuales
I swear you guys are a different breed out there.

[HoneyBadger]

Tell her to stop being so mexican.

Tried. Girls get offended whenever I tell them this. :cuss:

[gblowfish]

Well, if she insists on being "furry" guess you might have to escalate...

[raybec 4]

I asked her if I made a suggestion on how she could change her appearance for me, would she accept it?

Her response was "I won't change anything about my appearance for you."

I figured the conversation wasn't going to go well and gave up.
Just fuckin get out homes, she gave you her "A" game on the first shot. It was full of hair and TP dingleberries. Imagine what it's going to be like in a few months when she feels more at ease..........you'll be lucky to get her hippie ass to take a bath.

[Donger]

I asked her if I made a suggestion on how she could change her appearance for me, would she accept it?

Her response was "I won't change anything about my appearance for you."

I figured the conversation wasn't going to go well and gave up.

Flaccid attempt.

[vailpass]

Flaccid attempt.

ROFL

For god's sake man just tell her its 2010 and she needs to trim that bush. Tell her she has a beautiful pussy and you'd like to be able to see it.

[Demonpenz]

her pubes are so long the rio grande probably dropped by an inch when she got out.

[booger]

if i was u and that is her attitude i would chomp down and rip out as many of them whiskers, chew them up and spit them at her.

[booger]

her pubes are so long the rio grande probably dropped by an inch when she got out.

ROFL

[RedNFeisty]

Yeah!. The key to repairing your relationship is to have her create an account here, and then after excess communication, have a public communication about your Beaverdale Revitalization project right here in the wide open.


I think in this case, if you're open to suggestion...her screen name should be Winona.

What better way to gain wisdom and knowledge then by experience? Learning through books and other people's experiences can only get you so far.

The key is to live and learn, not regress.

[vailpass]

Giver her crabs. She'll have to shave.

[raybec 4]

What better way to gain wisdom and knowledge then by experience? Learning through books and other people's experiences can only get you so far.

The key is to live and learn, not regress.

And trim your freakin bush

[booger]

did you try the "i'm afraid of spiders" line i already mentioned yet? I really think she might understand that one.

[booger]

tie some feathers too it and tell her it looks like a dream catcher

[RedNFeisty]

And trim your freakin bush

I believe that one has already been covered...lol

[Slayer Diablo]

I asked her if I made a suggestion on how she could change her appearance for me, would she accept it?

Her response was "I won't change anything about my appearance for you."

I figured the conversation wasn't going to go well and gave up.

...

[booger]

where they heck you find this chick anyway, the petting zoo?

[gblowfish]

Seek professional help!
http://girlfriendmd.quickanddirtytips.com/Why-Am-I-So-Hairy.aspx

[Phobia]

Take a torch next time you go exploring. You have plausible deniability and if you get the fire too close to the bush it will shrink.

[Titty Meat]

i bet the back door is so furry and intertwangled that when she poops it shreds the turd and comes out looking like burnt french fries


Haha this is the must vulgar thing i've read all day. I like it rep.

[luv]

I asked her if I made a suggestion on how she could change her appearance for me, would she accept it?

Her response was "I won't change anything about my appearance for you."

I figured the conversation wasn't going to go well and gave up.

When you say "appearance", I very seriously doubt she thinks you're talking about her bush. Seriously, if you can't approach the subject as an adult, then she can't react as an adult. Again, I say dump her and let her move on. I know there's a "fear of confrontation", but what's the friggin' alternative? Grow a pair and talk to her. Jeez.

[Pioli Zombie]

That's what teeth are for.

[bluehawkdoc]

Pluck out her eyebrows when she is drunk. Then tell her, "No drapes, then no rug". Problem solved.

[gblowfish]

Only on the CP would you have over 300 responses to a thread like this.
Obviously, an important subject area for all concerned.

[Starbux37]

I asked her if I made a suggestion on how she could change her appearance for me, would she accept it?

Her response was "I won't change anything about my appearance for you."

I figured the conversation wasn't going to go well and gave up.

Dude, seriously!?!?!

You say to a woman "change your appearance" the last thing she is thinking you're talking about is the hair on her vagina.

When you said that, the first thing she is thinking is her outward appearance (hair, makeup, way she dresses). No wonder she reacted the way she did.

Man the F**K UP and just tell her what is on your mind. What do you have to lose? If she isn't willing to make that little change for you, she isn't worth keeping around anyway.

If you really were using your head, you would go down on her and afterwards (when things have mellowed out) suggestively point out that you could be a whole lot better if she would be willing to shave.

Let her know if you aren't having to work through all the pubes you will be able to get to her clitoris more easily (increased sensations for her), therefor making the experience for her that much more pleasurable. Also let her know it really turns you on increasing the excitement of the moment for you and ultimately for her as well.

Of course making all those points will be for not if you don't have a clue one on how to go down on a woman correctly anyway.

[MTG#10]

http://www.laughparty.com/funny-pictures/Hairy-Bush-115.jpg

Is it as bad as this?

[HoneyBadger]

http://www.laughparty.com/funny-pictures/Hairy-Bush-115.jpg

Is it as bad as this?

It seems like it.

[Pioli Zombie]

Offer your styling services.

[Al Bundy]

Woman demands sexual favors from husband and his friend at knife point (http://www.jacksonnewspapers.com/news/x1272825004/Woman-demands-sexual-favors-from-husband-and-his-friend-at-knife-point)

By Chris Stephens
Jackson Newspapers (http://www.jacksonnewspapers.com/)
Posted Nov 02, 2010 @ 02:37 PM
Last update Nov 03, 2010 @ 11:53 AM

Fairplain, W.Va. —

An unwanted sexual advance landed a Ripley woman in jail after she allegedly brandished a knife to get her “request” met.

Jackson County Sheriff’s Deputy R. Mellinger responded to a possible domestic dispute at the I-77 Motor Inn near Fairplain last Friday. Upon arriving, Mellinger met Danny R. William, James A. Watson and Melissa L. Williams; Danny and Melissa are estranged spouses who live four doors down from each other within the I-77 Motor Inn.

Mellinger stated he observed Melissa to be naked from the waist down, sitting in a living room chair, inside Danny’s apartment.

According to the complaint, Danny and Watson told Mellinger that Melissa came to the apartment intoxicated, asked each of them to perform a sexual act on her and took off her pants and underwear, which Mellinger observed lying on the floor at her feet.

Danny stated that he declined the invitation, however, Watson agreed he would perform at her request. The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further.

It was at this point Melissa allegedly produced a lock-back folding knife, pointed it at Danny and stated, “somebody is going to [perform a sexual act on me] or I’m going to cut your [expletive] throat.”

According to Mellinger, there was a small black handled lock-back knife lying on the coffee table in front of Melissa but when asked about the knife she stated “It was already here”; he also stated that all subjects appeared to be intoxicated and smelled badly of an alcoholic beverage.
Melissa Williams, 42, of Ripley was charged with domestic assault and brandishing; her bond was set at $3,000.

Probably Steelers fans.

[Slayer Diablo]

http://www.laughparty.com/funny-pictures/Hairy-Bush-115.jpg

Is it as bad as this?

It seems like it.

fire, comments like that prove you should break up with her...while also affirming luv's earlier comment, as painful as it is for me to say that.

Dude. We are supposed to dis your woman. She's your woman. You're supposed to stand up for her, not join in. Chivalry is dead.

And luv, please don't believe the death is universal because of an idiot on the internet. Boys and men die; gentlemen just fade away.

[mesmith31]

You may want to hang this sign on her door...

[Redcoats58]

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[Sweet Daddy Hate]

ROFL @ this thread still rockin'.

[GloryDayz]

I asked her if I made a suggestion on how she could change her appearance for me, would she accept it?

Her response was "I won't change anything about my appearance for you."

I figured the conversation wasn't going to go well and gave up.

Two words -> Dirty Sanchez!!! That'll get her back to the barganing table... If not she leaves... Win-Win!!

[HoneyBadger]

I grew a pair, and mentioned to her how I think its sexy when a girl is nice and smooth.

I can't wait to see what the landscaping looks like now. It can only be an upgrade. :)

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I'm predicting she pics it out like an afro the next time you see her.

[Buck]

Did your girl ever shave her pubes and are you still with her?

[HoneyBadger]

She attempted to shave it, but not completely successful, she must have owned a broken razor.... So I had to dump her.

[Buck]

Damn man, that's tough. I hope your next girlfriend is very well groomed.

[Rain Man]

It was the only decision you could have made.

[HoneyBadger]

It was the only decision you could have made.

Yes, I came to this conclusion when I realized it wasn't getting any better.

[Buck]

If you don't mind my asking, when you guys started having sex did she expect you to go down on her?

[Buck]

My next question is how the hell can a guy with 700 posts in the last 2 years respond to a thread that hasn't been bumped in 6 months within 45 minutes of it being bumped?

[HoneyBadger]

If you don't mind my asking, when you guys started having sex did she expect you to go down on her?

No way I would have. I just stopped being attracted to her after I knew she had the mess going on.

[Chiefs=Champions]

Say no to the fro!

[Predarat]

My next question is how the hell can a guy with 700 posts in the last 2 years respond to a thread that hasn't been bumped in 6 months within 45 minutes of it being bumped?

I think the answer "Just Because" suits this ? perfectly.

[Red Dawg]

I'd just be honest and say I cant eat the pussy with that mess going on down there.

RIGHT ON! Honesty is the best policy. Tell her to clean that shit up!

[HoneyBadger]

My next question is how the hell can a guy with 700 posts in the last 2 years respond to a thread that hasn't been bumped in 6 months within 45 minutes of it being bumped?

Ehh I don't feel like responding to many posts. But since I started this one, I should remain faithful....