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HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 05:15 PM
So I started seeing this girl a few months ago, and wanted it to be more of a serious relationship so I held off on too much physical stuff. Then the other night the holding out built up and things went crazy. This was fine, however there was one problem, when I ventured down to the southern regions, there was a lack of personal care. We're talking no grooming by her. I personally perfer a clean workspace, so this really turned me off.

Now how can I bring up this subject and tell her she needs to groom if she wants anything to happen again? I don't wanna sound like a selfish jerk, but I just can't deal with the unkept situation down there.

Mr. Flopnuts
11-03-2010, 05:15 PM
Tell her your landlord would kick you out if you went that long without cutting the grass.

Superturtle
11-03-2010, 05:16 PM
Tell her your landlord would kick you out if you went that long without cutting the grass.
Once again with the win...

Shogun
11-03-2010, 05:17 PM
Just tell her you prefer no hair. If you want to get serious with the girl or are already, there should be no problems.

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 05:18 PM
So are we talking she just doesn't trim the hedges or she doesn't wash down there?

Demonpenz
11-03-2010, 05:18 PM
Tell her in caveman days the womans entire body would be hairy but not the place most beautiful.

Shogun
11-03-2010, 05:18 PM
Send her an email maybe

Mecca
11-03-2010, 05:18 PM
Is she older or something? Younger girls rarely have this problem...I don't even mind hair provided it's trimmed up but there's always a line, no Demi Moore 80's stuff.

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 05:18 PM
Tell her your landlord would kick you out if you went that long without cutting the grass.

Ha!

Pablo
11-03-2010, 05:19 PM
WTF kind of wookie are you dating?

Tell her it's 2010 and leisure suits and pubic hair belong in the 70's.

Simply Red
11-03-2010, 05:20 PM
You have to, just tell her. Nothing wrong w/ telling her to adjust. Not a thing.

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 05:21 PM
So are we talking she just doesn't trim the hedges or she doesn't wash down there?

Clean yes, but its like she doesn't know what a razor is.

Tylerthigpen!1!
11-03-2010, 05:21 PM
Pick all the hair out your teeth and leave it on her tooth brush.

Mecca
11-03-2010, 05:22 PM
Of course it'd be funny if he told her this and she responded "yea well you need to get a bigger dick but we don't all get what we want"

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 05:22 PM
You have to, just tell her. Nothing wrong w/ telling her to adjust. Not a thing.

You don't think that would offend her or anything?

Bane
11-03-2010, 05:22 PM
I'd just be honest and say I cant eat the pussy with that mess going on down there.

Radar Chief
11-03-2010, 05:23 PM
WTF kind of wookie are you dating?

She must look like she's got Buckwheat in a leg lock.

Fish
11-03-2010, 05:23 PM
I don't wanna sound like a selfish jerk, but I just can't deal with the unkept situation down there.

Then be a selfish jerk. It's a proven method. It works.

Shogun
11-03-2010, 05:24 PM
She must look like she's got Buckwheat in a leg lock.

lollllllllllllllllllllllllll :clap:ROFL

RustShack
11-03-2010, 05:24 PM
Leave little hints. Like have a vagina trimming guide on your coffee table for her to see. Leave a web page up on your computer about how guys prefer shave pussy. Maybe have your razor out in the bathroom. Shave your face and tell her you love the feel of soft shaved skin. So on and so forth.

Mr. Flopnuts
11-03-2010, 05:24 PM
Just tell her that stink sticks to hair and then wave your hand over your nose while gratuitously looking at her crotch. She'll get the picture.

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 05:24 PM
Is she older or something? Younger girls rarely have this problem...I don't even mind hair provided it's trimmed up but there's always a line, no Demi Moore 80's stuff.

She's young, but I'm pretty sure I'm the first explorer of this new land, so I'm not sure if she knows the expectations of guys. That's why I don't want to offened her when I tell her.

kstater
11-03-2010, 05:25 PM
Hand her a razor and tell her you'll be in bed when she's done.

jojomontana
11-03-2010, 05:25 PM
Tell her it'd turn you on if she'd let you play greenskeeper on her. Break out the Barbasol and the Gillette and make it fun.

RustShack
11-03-2010, 05:26 PM
Do it again, and keep saying for a week.. damn it theres another pube in my mouth.

MahiMike
11-03-2010, 05:26 PM
Run. Fast. A woman like that will keep a messy house.

Pablo
11-03-2010, 05:26 PM
She's young, but I'm pretty sure I'm the first explorer of this new land, so I'm not sure if she knows the expectations of guys. That's why I don't want to offened her when I tell her.Been cruising the high school parking lot in your Camaro with a six pack of Noffs, huh brah?

Nice.

Bane
11-03-2010, 05:26 PM
She's young, but I'm pretty sure I'm the first explorer of this new land, so I'm not sure if she knows the expectations of guys. That's why I don't want to offened her when I tell her.

Maybe sneak her a hint.Tell her casually that you just had to trim up your "area" cause you really don't care for a lot of hair in that region,and see if she gets it.

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 05:27 PM
Clean yes, but its like she doesn't know what a razor is.

I'm sorry I need pictures to get a good idea.

kstater
11-03-2010, 05:27 PM
Discreetly rub some nair on her. Tell her that burning sensation is just the chlamydia you gave her.

Mecca
11-03-2010, 05:27 PM
She's young, but I'm pretty sure I'm the first explorer of this new land, so I'm not sure if she knows the expectations of guys. That's why I don't want to offened her when I tell her.

First explorer, are you dating someone in high school?

bevischief
11-03-2010, 05:27 PM
Shower with her...

Pestilence
11-03-2010, 05:27 PM
Tell her that you prefer it trimmed.


Or just wax it while she's sleeping.


Either one should work.

Donger
11-03-2010, 05:28 PM
Make a joke of it. Next time you're down that way, break out a machete and yell, "I'm going in, baby!"

Or, just give yours a good manscape and make sure she notices.

Radar Chief
11-03-2010, 05:28 PM
Offer to help her maintain the undergrowth. She might be intrigued.

Mr. Flopnuts
11-03-2010, 05:29 PM
Maybe you should just stop going down on her until the relationship becomes a little more comfortable.

Better yet, the next time she's blowing you, grab her by the back of her head and start ramrodding her throat. When she asks you what the fuck, tell her if she thinks she can do whatever she wants down there, you can too.

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 05:29 PM
Do I tell her when were getting hot and heavy? Or like on the phone when I can't see her?

Donger
11-03-2010, 05:29 PM
Offer to help her maintain the undergrowth. She might be intrigued.

A Weed Whacker might be a bit too dramatic.

Pestilence
11-03-2010, 05:29 PM
Tell her it'd turn you on if she'd let you play greenskeeper on her. Break out the Barbasol and the Gillette and make it fun.

Maybe sneak her a hint.Tell her casually that you just had to trim up your "area" cause you really don't care for a lot of hair in that region,and see if she gets it.

Offer to help her maintain the undergrowth. She might be intrigued.

These.

shitgoose
11-03-2010, 05:30 PM
Have her watch that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry gets that pubic hair stuck in his throat. IIRC its the same one as Krazy Eyes Killah, which is worth a watch anyhow.

After you get done watching tell her you hope you don't ever have to have the same problem as Larry. And also ask her if she's your Caucasian

Mecca
11-03-2010, 05:30 PM
Maybe you should just stop going down on her until the relationship becomes a little more comfortable.

Better yet, the next time she's blowing you, grab her by the back of her head and start ramrodding her throat. When she asks you what the fuck, tell her if she thinks she can do whatever she wants down there, you can too.

Maybe he should move on from the high school first.

Donger
11-03-2010, 05:30 PM
Do I tell her when were getting hot and heavy? Or like on the phone when I can't see her?

Are you new at this?

kstater
11-03-2010, 05:30 PM
Do I tell her when were getting hot and heavy?


This. Plz report the results.

JD10367
11-03-2010, 05:31 PM
She must look like she's got Buckwheat in a leg lock.

http://www.footballbabble.com/images/randy-moss.jpg

KCUnited
11-03-2010, 05:31 PM
I'm sure her homemade dim sum and crab ragoon more than make up for it.

Pestilence
11-03-2010, 05:31 PM
Do I tell her when were getting hot and heavy? Or like on the phone when I can't see her?

Trim yours and then ask her if she likes it like that? If she does....then bring up that you feel the same about a girls region.

If she doesn't care.....then wax it while she's sleeping.

Pablo
11-03-2010, 05:31 PM
Discreetly rub some nair on her. Tell her that burning sensation is just the chlamydia you gave her.And the hair loss is probably from the HIV. No biggie. Give her a kiss on the cheek and it's all cool.

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 05:31 PM
Run. Fast. A woman like that will keep a messy house.

She's mexican so she knows how to keep a house clean.

Pablo
11-03-2010, 05:32 PM
Are you new at this?
Well, he is the first explorer of this particular female's Grand Canyon; so perhaps he's young and inexperienced himself.

Pablo
11-03-2010, 05:32 PM
She's mexican so she knows how to keep a house clean.I've heard mexican's menstrual blood makes for a nice hot sauce. Better bottle that shit and refrigerate it though.

Simply Red
11-03-2010, 05:33 PM
You don't think that would offend her or anything?

Honestly? no. I think if she cares for you, she'll make the move. Esp. if it's such a seeming 'deal-breaker'

Donger
11-03-2010, 05:33 PM
She's mexican so she knows how to keep a house clean.

Yeah, someone else's but not her own.

KCSupersized
11-03-2010, 05:33 PM
Run. Fast. A woman like that will keep a messy house.

This

Bane
11-03-2010, 05:33 PM
She's mexican so she knows how to keep a house clean.

In that case tell her to....

Por favor, afeitarse la vulva!

kstater
11-03-2010, 05:33 PM
She's mexican so she knows how to keep a house clean.

Then give her $2 and tell her to clean up.

Pablo
11-03-2010, 05:34 PM
Yeah, someone else's but not her own.You can only Pine-Sol a dirt floor so many times before you realize shit ain't working out.

Mr. Laz
11-03-2010, 05:35 PM
So I started seeing this girl a few months ago, and wanted it to be more of a serious relationship so I held off on too much physical stuff. Then the other night the holding out built up and things went crazy. This was fine, however there was one problem, when I ventured down to the southern regions, there was a lack of personal care. We're talking no grooming by her. I personally perfer a clean workspace, so this really turned me off.

Now how can I bring up this subject and tell her she needs to groom if she wants anything to happen again? I don't wanna sound like a selfish jerk, but I just can't deal with the unkept situation down there.
make it a kinky game ... work it out so "you have always wanted to shave a girl" or something.

Take a shower together and then pick her up and carry her into the bedroom and start giving her a hot oil message then break out the shaving equipment and do it yourself as part of the sex.

just suggestions :shrug:

kstater
11-03-2010, 05:35 PM
ATM, then when she gets pissed tell her "oh, you don't like shit in your mouth either."

Bearcat
11-03-2010, 05:35 PM
Leave little hints. Like have a vagina trimming guide on your coffee table for her to see. Leave a web page up on your computer about how guys prefer shave pussy. Maybe have your razor out in the bathroom. Shave your face and tell her you love the feel of soft shaved skin. So on and so forth.

Yeah, girls love passive-aggressive guys.... and the first two are so subtle. LMAO

Hand her a razor and tell her you'll be in bed when she's done.

That's more like it.

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 05:36 PM
Been cruising the high school parking lot in your Camaro with a six pack of Noffs, huh brah?

Nice.

Puppies work better.

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 05:37 PM
She's mexican so she knows how to keep a house clean.


Wow....that actually explains a lot and is funny.

Still..pictures.

I'd say grit your teeth through it till you're both more invested in the relationship. Don't bring it up when you're in bed or anything, but tell her what you're into or at least find out if she's ever done any landscaping.

Mecca
11-03-2010, 05:38 PM
Give her some Natty Light that should make someone her age do anything.

Simply Red
11-03-2010, 05:38 PM
If she likes ya' brah, i'm tellin' you, she'll take care of it. If not; remember ALL porn stars offer private sessions for about 400 dollars per hr. That too; is an option.

it's your world, baby.

Zebedee DuBois
11-03-2010, 05:39 PM
...

Or just wax it while she's sleeping.

...
ROFL

Pablo
11-03-2010, 05:40 PM
make it a kinky game ... work it out so "you have always wanted to shave a girl" or something.

Take a shower together and then pick her up and carry her into the bedroom and start giving her a hot oil message then break out the shaving equipment and do it yourself as part of the sex.

just suggestions :shrug:Fuck that. Be direct. Don't hem and haw about it.

I'm talking to this chick right now. She was clean shaven when I met her. Which some guys dig. It's not my thing. I like a little grass on the playing field. I told her I dig landing strips. So she grew one. If it gets out of control, I'll tell her I like well groomed landing strips. Problem solved.

CoMoChief
11-03-2010, 05:41 PM
So are we talking she just doesn't trim the hedges or she doesn't wash down there?

Uhh.....either way it's a god damn problem.

This isn't 1975

kysirsoze
11-03-2010, 05:42 PM
This thread is awesome.

Mecca
11-03-2010, 05:42 PM
Pablo doesn't fuck around, which means he must provide something to get exactly what he wants.

Simply Red
11-03-2010, 05:42 PM
I know i'd have to tell her, and totally would.

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 05:42 PM
**** that. Be direct. Don't hem and haw about it.

I'm talking to this chick right now. She was clean shaven when I met her. Which some guys dig. It's not my thing. I like a little grass on the playing field. I told her I dig landing strips. So she grew one. If it gets out of control, I'll tell her I like well groomed landing strips. Problem solved.

He's got a point. Just don't make it seem like you're insulting her.

BigMeatballDave
11-03-2010, 05:42 PM
How young is she?

Baconeater
11-03-2010, 05:43 PM
Do I tell her when were getting hot and heavy? Or like on the phone when I can't see her?
I'd suggest posting something about it on her facebook page.

Hog Farmer
11-03-2010, 05:43 PM
I'd pull out a bag of boar jizz and say "Look if you want plugged I have this , but I ain't stickin my dick in no forrest!

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 05:43 PM
Uhh.....either way it's a god damn problem.

This isn't 1975

I just wanted to clarify.

With pictures.

angelo
11-03-2010, 05:43 PM
I would just be happy to be getting some and buy some laxatone for the hairballs.
94987

Ang

Simply Red
11-03-2010, 05:43 PM
Uhh.....either way it's a god damn problem.

This isn't 1975

I fully endorse this.

Mecca
11-03-2010, 05:44 PM
How young is she?

We'll find out that she's really 15 and the daughter of his illegal immigrant cleaning lady that his parents employ.

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 05:44 PM
I'd suggest posting something about it on her facebook page.

awesome...:clap:

Pablo
11-03-2010, 05:44 PM
He's got a point. Just don't make it seem like you're insulting her.I wasn't rude. I just told her I thought landing strips were sexy.

Every girl likes to feel sexy and likes to think their man thinks they're sexy.

Rain Man
11-03-2010, 05:44 PM
Pull them out one at a time every time she's naked, and tell her you like S&M.

BigMeatballDave
11-03-2010, 05:45 PM
I'm talking to this chick right now. She was clean shaven when I met her. Which some guys dig. It's not my thing. I like a little grass on the playing field. I told her I dig landing strips. So she grew one. If it gets out of control, I'll tell her I like well groomed landing strips. Problem solved.Landing strip is fine, but I prefer it to smooth and hairless.

Pablo
11-03-2010, 05:45 PM
I'd suggest posting something about it on her facebook page.This made me LAWL.

Hey babe, can't wait to see ya Saturday night. Hope you took a weed eater to those thigh hedges. LOL..

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 05:45 PM
Are you new at this?

No, its just everyone girl I've been with didn't have this problem. I didn't even think girls grew pube hair anymore

Pablo
11-03-2010, 05:46 PM
No, its just everyone girl I've been with didn't have this problem. I didn't even think girls grew pube hair anymoreITZ THE STEROIDS IN DA CHICKEN. MAKIN THEYRE TITTAHS BIGGER AND MAKIN EM PUBE-LESS.

Fritz88
11-03-2010, 05:46 PM
Is she older or something? Younger girls rarely have this problem...I don't even mind hair provided it's trimmed up but there's always a line, no Demi Moore 80's stuff.

You don't mind any hole that provides some level of warmth to your thing.

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 05:46 PM
I wasn't rude. I just told her I thought landing strips were sexy.

Every girl likes to feel sexy and likes to think their man thinks they're sexy.


Sorry, I wasn't implying you were rude. Just for him to make sure he isn't.

Mecca
11-03-2010, 05:47 PM
Show her scary movie, when the guy pulls out the hedge trimmer on the chicks bush say "that looks familiar"

JD10367
11-03-2010, 05:47 PM
"Honey... Do you think you could shave... you know... down there?"

"Ay! What is it with you gringos?!? The last hombre I dated got all pissed off 'cause I wouldn't let him put it in my ass any more, and now this?!?"

Mecca
11-03-2010, 05:48 PM
You don't mind any hole that provides some level of warmth to your thing.

That's just like...your opinion man.

Pablo
11-03-2010, 05:49 PM
Make sure you have at least a couple of PIIHB conversations early on in the relationship so she knows that's important to you as well.

You can't just date a chick for a year and then start the PIIHB convo; she'll either think you've been fucking another girl or think you've been watching too much porn and are a sicko.

CoMoChief
11-03-2010, 05:49 PM
Then be a selfish jerk. It's a proven method. It works.

Sadly this is true. I recently dated this chick for a while and she was completely bald. Shaved everytime she showered, kept that shit smooth as a baby's bottom. She said a couple boyfriends she had before me was a real asshole to her about it because she didn't shave at all(at the time)...and it was to the point where he just plain didn't have sex w/ her at all, grossed out about it and ended up cheating on her. Felt bad for her after she told me that, but shit like that will indeed change a girls habits down there. Hell even after they shave (prob will be some razor burn at first if she's the wookie you claim she is) they end up liking it, the way it feels etc, the way most guys will always like to go down on them....it will make them keep doing it.

If nothing else fails, tell her you LOVE eating pussy, but you ain't having that furburger for lunch unless that shit is shaved. BUT.....if she does it, you have to shave too. It's just one of those rules.

Brock
11-03-2010, 05:51 PM
BUT.....if she does it, you have to shave too. It's just one of those rules.

No. Not at all.

Mecca
11-03-2010, 05:52 PM
CoMo just said something completely bizarre...how...predictable.

JD10367
11-03-2010, 05:52 PM
If nothing else fails, tell her you LOVE eating pussy, but you ain't having that furburger for lunch unless that shit is shaved. BUT.....if she does it, you have to shave too. It's just one of those rules.

Not smooth, though, either way.

Smooth on a girl = a bit pedophiliac.

Smooth on a guy = homo porn. (From what I've been told. Not that I've seen any of that stuff. Much.)

Pablo
11-03-2010, 05:53 PM
BUT.....if she does it, you have to shave too. It's just one of those rules.I haz confusion. Do you mean shaved as in total bald eagle? Or just trimming up the pubes and maybe shaving the sac or what?

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 05:53 PM
Has manscaping ever been a topic of discussion at CP?

Mecca
11-03-2010, 05:54 PM
Not smooth, though, either way.

Smooth on a girl = a bit pedophiliac.

Smooth on a guy = homo porn. (From what I've been told. Not that I've seen any of that stuff. Much.)

If you ask any chick about it, from a friend to a date, they'll all respond with the idea that a guy completely shaving his business is creepy as fuck.

Brock
11-03-2010, 05:55 PM
Has manscaping ever been a topic of discussion at CP?

I'm sure there's probably a Simply Weird thread about it.

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 05:56 PM
If you ask any chick about it, from a friend to a date, they'll all respond with the idea that a guy completely shaving his business is creepy as ****.

When I had surgery a few years back....I woke up w/out my pube fro not knowing that was going to happen.

Shit hasn't grown back in right ever since.

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 05:57 PM
Also did my wife make fun of me?

Yeah she did, and she had every right to.

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 05:57 PM
How young is she?

She's 19, and has 19 years of built up sexual tension.

BigMeatballDave
11-03-2010, 05:57 PM
Not smooth, though, either way.

Smooth on a girl = a bit pedophiliac.

Smooth on a guy = homo porn. (From what I've been told. Not that I've seen any of that stuff. Much.):spock: If you can look at an adult vag and think about a young girl, then you have issues.

Mecca
11-03-2010, 05:58 PM
When I had surgery a few years back....I woke up w/out my pube fro not knowing that was going to happen.

Shit hasn't grown back in right ever since.

Well you shouldn't have a pube fro either, good rule of thumb, no one likes hair in their mouth. But there's a huge difference in shaving your shit and being trimmed.

BigMeatballDave
11-03-2010, 05:59 PM
If you ask any chick about it, from a friend to a date, they'll all respond with the idea that a guy completely shaving his business is creepy as fuck.This. I've never been with a woman that wanted me to shave.

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 05:59 PM
Well you shouldn't have a pube fro either, good rule of thumb, no one likes hair in their mouth. But there's a huge difference in shaving your shit and being trimmed.

I'm red headed...it was a mane of FIRE!!!

Mecca
11-03-2010, 06:01 PM
I'm red headed...it was a mane of FIRE!!!

I'm going to have nightmares now thank you.

BigMeatballDave
11-03-2010, 06:01 PM
She's 19, and has 19 years of built up sexual tension.Awesome. Have fun, dude! Just tell her you like eating pussy and ask is she wouldnt mind shaving it.

Mecca
11-03-2010, 06:02 PM
Could be worse, wait till you have to have the convo about not using your razor to shave her legs.

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 06:02 PM
I'm going to have nightmares now thank you.

You're welcome.

:evil:

Marcellus
11-03-2010, 06:03 PM
Has manscaping ever been a topic of discussion at CP?

Oh yea.

Simply Red
11-03-2010, 06:03 PM
what's her butt hair situation like?

Mecca
11-03-2010, 06:04 PM
Oh yea.

Dane's gonna talk about shaving his ass again if you aren't careful.

Pablo
11-03-2010, 06:04 PM
what's her butt hair situation like?And have you turned her onto anal bleaching yet?

Mecca
11-03-2010, 06:05 PM
Anal bleaching lol, that just sounds unhealthy.

JD10367
11-03-2010, 06:05 PM
She's 19, and has 19 years of built up sexual tension.

Well, that's just creepy, 'cause it means she was a horny 1-year-old. :shake:

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 06:06 PM
what's her butt hair situation like?

I don't think you need to ask, I think it's a veritable forest down there.

threebag02
11-03-2010, 06:07 PM
Eat her ass less hair there.

Pablo
11-03-2010, 06:07 PM
Well, that's just creepy, 'cause it means she was a horny 1-year-old. :shake:WTF

Mecca
11-03-2010, 06:08 PM
Well, that's just creepy, 'cause it means she was a horny 1-year-old. :shake:

Now we know why she drug her butt on the carpet.

Kyle DeLexus
11-03-2010, 06:09 PM
Been cruising the high school parking lot in your Camaro with a six pack of Noffs, huh brah?

Nice.

The easiest solution is to just keep cruising down the road until he finds the middle school.

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 06:10 PM
If you ask any chick about it, from a friend to a date, they'll all respond with the idea that a guy completely shaving his business is creepy as ****.

We have obviously dated different women. All mine this less is better. I guess were not eskimo brothers :/

Mecca
11-03-2010, 06:11 PM
So am I to believe this womans bush looks like Brian Wilson's beard?

Buck
11-03-2010, 06:13 PM
Antifreeze.

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 06:20 PM
what's her butt hair situation like?

The rest of her is naturally smooth. She doesn't grow much hair any where else. Maybe that's why she thinks she doesn't need to groom.

Iowanian
11-03-2010, 06:20 PM
sorry to play out a joke but....


Put a red bandana over the top of it
then use your fingers to move it like a mouth and say
"Hide your wife, hide you kids, hide yo husband...."
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTvRNt2PoJJwRsLNN4BTlaXZOocFYGkF0SUTMXbamJQTP3xLz8&t=1&usg=__lZWtmMjHaimN0HTML-K_0RKdzCM=

and then change the bandana angle and twang it a little while making Santana guitar mouth sounds.

Bwana
11-03-2010, 06:25 PM
Hmmm? Well, Christmas isn't that far away, so perhaps a thoughtful early gift is in order, to help make your point?

If I may be so bold? Let me introduce you to the:

Kawasaki KCS-525A


http://www.mowdirect.co.uk/acatalog/KAWASAKI_KCS525A_LONG_REACH_HEDGE_CLIPPERS_300W.jpg

Bearcat
11-03-2010, 06:29 PM
Well, that's just creepy, 'cause it means she was a horny 1-year-old. :shake:

I usually stick with one smiley, but in this case... :spock: LMAO :doh!:

Archie F. Swin
11-03-2010, 06:32 PM
giver me her number....I'll call

Simply Red
11-03-2010, 06:36 PM
Eat her ass less hair there.

http://i52.tinypic.com/5wdp1l.gif

Pablo
11-03-2010, 06:45 PM
Eat her ass less hair there.With syrup or jelly. I prefer jelly.

Simply Red
11-03-2010, 06:46 PM
With syrup or jelly. I prefer jelly.

http://i52.tinypic.com/5wdp1l.gif

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 06:49 PM
With syrup or jelly. I prefer jelly.

The things they teach you in county lock up.

bevischief
11-03-2010, 06:49 PM
I'd suggest posting something about it on her facebook page.

ROFL:clap:

Huffman83
11-03-2010, 06:56 PM
http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/snapsnap3.png

GloryDayz
11-03-2010, 06:57 PM
Watch a porn with her and ask, "what the he11's wrong with those girls, they're shaven? Oh, sorry hon, the Capt. Jack Sparrow look looks good on you!!" Or, how 'bout this, "hey hon, are you gunna trim and go the spring-fresh route, or am I gunna exercise my options?"

threebag02
11-03-2010, 07:03 PM
Tell her that her mound of hair is preventing you from hitting bottom.

Reerun_KC
11-03-2010, 07:03 PM
Hmmm? Well, Christmas isn't that far away, so perhaps a thoughtful early gift is in order, to help make your point?

If I may be so bold? Let me introduce you to the:

Kawasaki KCS-525A


http://www.mowdirect.co.uk/acatalog/KAWASAKI_KCS525A_LONG_REACH_HEDGE_CLIPPERS_300W.jpg

does that come in a 4 stroke model?

threebag02
11-03-2010, 07:07 PM
does that come in a 4 stroke model?

No but his girlfriend said he did.

Norman Einstein
11-03-2010, 07:08 PM
You get to hide willie in the tunnel of love and you are complaining about a little hair?

I've heard it all now.

Reerun_KC
11-03-2010, 07:09 PM
No but his girlfriend said he did.

HOLY Mother of Pearl!ROFL

ChiefsCountry
11-03-2010, 07:20 PM
I've never had a girl that hasn't shaved it so a little hair would be something different for me to see.

Simply Red
11-03-2010, 07:25 PM
I've never had a girl that hasn't shaved it so a little hair would be something different for me to see.

good seein ya

Mecca
11-03-2010, 07:28 PM
You know what's worse than a lot of hair? The girl who has the 5 oclock shadow stubble from not shaving in 2 days...that can be painful.

Pawnmower
11-03-2010, 07:31 PM
Tell her to watch this video and keep her coin purse shaved

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aYH1YNdYIkU?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aYH1YNdYIkU?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

luv
11-03-2010, 07:53 PM
You don't think that would offend her or anything?

You want to get serious with this girl, and you can't get up the nerve to talk to her about sexual preferences?

She's an adult. It's not like you're having "the talk" with your 10 year old daughter. Just be honest and tactful. If she does get offended, then is that really someone you want to get serious with?

Bwana
11-03-2010, 07:55 PM
does that come in a 4 stroke model?

No, but it think you can order it with a turbo charger, which may come in handy if it's a case of extra thick brush. If it's really really harsh, there is always the:

Brush hog 3414 series!

http://www.psndealer.com/powersportsdlr/images/NewVehicles/NV77246_1.jpg

Bane
11-03-2010, 07:57 PM
No, but it think you can order it with a turbo charger, which may come in handy if it's a case of extra thick brush. If it's really really harsh, there is always the:

Brush hog 3414 series!

http://www.psndealer.com/powersportsdlr/images/NewVehicles/NV77246_1.jpg

JFC!!ROFL

Shogun
11-03-2010, 07:58 PM
No, but it think you can order it with a turbo charger, which may come in handy if it's a case of extra thick brush. If it's really really harsh, there is always the:

Brush hog 3414 series!

http://www.psndealer.com/powersportsdlr/images/NewVehicles/NV77246_1.jpg

Yup, Took great care of my crabs! ROFL

Bwana
11-03-2010, 08:00 PM
Yup, Took great care of my crabs! ROFL

I bet it did. Your just lucky you didn't lose your pecker! That Brush Hog will chop down small trees.

Mr. Flopnuts
11-03-2010, 08:00 PM
You want to get serious with this girl, and you can't get up the nerve to talk to her about sexual preferences?

She's an adult. It's not like you're having "the talk" with your 10 year old daughter. Just be honest and tactful. If she does get offended, then is that really someone you want to get serious with?

Do the carpets match the drapes?

Sweet Daddy Hate
11-03-2010, 08:04 PM
Pablo doesn't fuck around, which means he must provide something to get exactly what he wants.

He's one of those 5' 4" dudes with a 14 inch cock I'm guessing.

Delano
11-03-2010, 08:17 PM
He's one of those 5' 4" dudes with a 14 inch cock I'm guessing.

Akward..
Posted via Mobile Device

luv
11-03-2010, 08:19 PM
Do the carpets match the drapes?

I'm thinking he doesn't want carpet. I mean, she should know that hardwoods are easier to keep clean and go with whatever color drapes she likes.

Shogun
11-03-2010, 08:21 PM
http://www.gifflix.com/files/8089128842af.gif

Nzoner
11-03-2010, 08:21 PM
Serious answer,back in the 80's my steady gf was neat but not shaved and even then I wanted a clean pvssy so I was lucky enough to find a pictorial in an adult mag of a guy helping a girl with the project.That Saturday before going out I showed it to her and told her how fun and sensual it looked and that "WE" should try this together.Later that night at the bar shortly before heading to her place I leaned over and reminded her about my suggestion.

So there I am lying in bed wondering wth was taking her so long when she came in the bedroom carrying all the works for the project.After a brief lecture on how I'd best be damn careful I went to work and all I'll say is that night's session was focking incredible.

Good luck.

memyselfI
11-03-2010, 08:38 PM
I'm hoping that you are practicing what you preach and are keeping things in order as well. If not, then lead by example or stop whining.

stevieray
11-03-2010, 08:41 PM
I'm reminded of an Andrew Dice Clay Nursery Rhyme

luv
11-03-2010, 08:48 PM
I'm reminded of an Andrew Dice Clay Nursery Rhyme

The only one I remember is Old Mother Hubbard.

Demonpenz
11-03-2010, 08:51 PM
d

The Pedestrian
11-03-2010, 08:59 PM
Start a conversation for what to do during the weekend. Talk about how you have a great plan lined up. Then in a progressively suave manner, list off the items like this: [slightly romantic activity], [romantic activity], shave her tw**, and then make love until the early morning.

...and you gotta say "shave your tw**" so it sounds like foreplay AND emphasizes that you're doing it together. ;)

S&BJW
11-03-2010, 09:02 PM
So I started seeing this girl a few months ago, and wanted it to be more of a serious relationship so I held off on too much physical stuff. Then the other night the holding out built up and things went crazy. This was fine, however there was one problem, when I ventured down to the southern regions, there was a lack of personal care. We're talking no grooming by her. I personally perfer a clean workspace, so this really turned me off.

Now how can I bring up this subject and tell her she needs to groom if she wants anything to happen again? I don't wanna sound like a selfish jerk, but I just can't deal with the unkept situation down there.

Good God man.....you need to come to a football forum to ask that? SOB...

Just tell mom your sister isn`t keeping clean.....

(huck yuck, knee slap)

stevieray
11-03-2010, 09:03 PM
Start a conversation for what to do during the weekend. Talk about how you have a great plan lined up. Then in a progressively suave manner, list off the items like this: [slightly romantic activity], [romantic activity], shave her tw**, and then make love until the early morning.

...and you gotta say "shave your tw**" so it sounds like foreplay AND emphasizes that you're doing it together. ;)

I don't think twat sounds like foreplay...more like no play...good idea..just use a different term..like kootchie junction, etc..

booger
11-03-2010, 09:06 PM
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1fuDDqU6n4o?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1fuDDqU6n4o?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

Chiefs Rool
11-03-2010, 09:08 PM
you should be glad it wasn't kept up. If you weren't intimate, then there should have been no reason for her to trim or shave it. BUT, now that you finally got to home base, you would expect her to be trimmed for next time. At least that would be how I would think about it.

chasedude
11-03-2010, 09:09 PM
I'm reminded of an Andrew Dice Clay Nursery Rhyme

Mary, Mary quite contrary... Trim that bush it's too damn hairy! OOOoooooh!!

Silock
11-03-2010, 09:10 PM
Post something on her Facebook wall about it. She'll be too embarrassed not to do anything.

The Pedestrian
11-03-2010, 09:11 PM
I don't think twat sounds like foreplay...more like no play...good idea..just use a different term..like kootchie junction, etc..

Oh yeah, I guess the kids are done using tw**...it's what now...I think vag (vaj). Could make "shave your vag" sound like an "exotic" activity... But ok, maybe it would be best to write out a list of all the different names that could be used, and go with the process of elimination.

booger
11-03-2010, 09:12 PM
nothing a roll of duct tape won't fix

Phobia
11-03-2010, 09:14 PM
Dude - the next time you tie her up, just trim it how you want it. Good grief, why is this so difficult for young people?

The Pedestrian
11-03-2010, 09:16 PM
If/When you talk her into it, make sure she knows to piss after sex...UTI's are more common after shaving, and you don't want her getting one right after her first time trying it.

booger
11-03-2010, 09:17 PM
Dude - the next time you tie her up, just trim it how you want it. Good grief, why is this so difficult for young people?

you can cut it and make cool shapes and stuff. or write built ford tough and silly things of that nature. Just like carving a pumpkin.

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 09:19 PM
You want to get serious with this girl, and you can't get up the nerve to talk to her about sexual preferences?

She's an adult. It's not like you're having "the talk" with your 10 year old daughter. Just be honest and tactful. If she does get offended, then is that really someone you want to get serious with?

Finally, some actual words of wisdom.

chasedude
11-03-2010, 09:19 PM
http://threadforthought.net/oldimages/2009/07/johnny-depp-as-edward-scissorhands-1990.jpeg?w=241

Give Edward a Call?

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 09:22 PM
If/When you talk her into it, make sure she knows to piss after sex...UTI's are more common after shaving, and you don't want her getting one right after her first time trying it.

Really?? That would explain a lot about my ex. :rolleyes:

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 09:22 PM
you should be glad it wasn't kept up. If you weren't intimate, then there should have been no reason for her to trim or shave it. BUT, now that you finally got to home base, you would expect her to be trimmed for next time. At least that would be how I would think about it.

She better be, or I'll be very pissed off.

Phobia
11-03-2010, 09:23 PM
I've always felt strongly about mentoring young people out here on the Planet. I'll take one for the team here, bud. Get me her phone number and she'll be cleaned up by Friday night. Make plans with the boys tomorrow, dude. She's gonna be busy for 3 or 4 minutes.

Pushead2
11-03-2010, 09:24 PM
"Shave that shit girl"

booger
11-03-2010, 09:29 PM
your getting too old to be eating furburgers. just buy her a box of triscuits and tell her to shave her biscuit.

The Pedestrian
11-03-2010, 09:30 PM
Really?? That would explain a lot about my ex. :rolleyes:

Hell, you're bringing a question like this--something you should be able to answer on your own--to an internet forum...and about a 19-y/o girlfriend. Of course, if you need help, we're all here to give it to you along with about 5 or 6 pages of chiding; but not everyone's going to assume you know everything except this one little nugget of information.

-King-
11-03-2010, 09:30 PM
One day when you go down on here....just move your head down there...not licking at all.

When she asks "What are you doing?" , just say that you're practicing walking in the woods.

booger
11-03-2010, 09:33 PM
wear a hair net on your face and poke out holes for you nose and mouth. bring a comb too and come back and tell us if she gets the hint.

booger
11-03-2010, 09:38 PM
i bet it was like eating out the end of the vacuum hose attachment

LaChapelle
11-03-2010, 09:40 PM
Stop being a metrosexual pussy
and learn to like it
like a real man

booger
11-03-2010, 09:46 PM
did you say she was mexican? probably catholic. just tell her your scared of spiders but braved it out the first time.

Al Bundy
11-03-2010, 09:48 PM
Maybe you should just stop going down on her until the relationship becomes a little more comfortable.

Better yet, the next time she's blowing you, grab her by the back of her head and start ramrodding her throat. When she asks you what the ****, tell her if she thinks she can do whatever she wants down there, you can too.

You are full of win throughout this thread.

LaChapelle
11-03-2010, 09:49 PM
Seriously it's no big deal
Billay has to stick his tongue up their butt

Al Bundy
11-03-2010, 09:50 PM
i bet it was like eating out the end of the vacuum hose attachment

Pos rep.

Rain Man
11-03-2010, 09:53 PM
Find another woman who would be willing to talk to her about this sensitive issue, and then arrange a threesome with the two of them.

Demonpenz
11-03-2010, 09:57 PM
edd

Demonpenz
11-03-2010, 10:00 PM
dd

Shogun
11-03-2010, 10:01 PM
edd

dd

+1 Million reps.

Kyle DeLexus
11-03-2010, 10:04 PM
One day when you go down on here....just move your head down there...not licking at all.

When she asks "What are you doing?" , just say that you're practicing walking in the woods.

Better yet get a golf club and golf ball and tell her you want to practice hitting out of the rough.

Demonpenz
11-03-2010, 10:04 PM
dfddd

Baconeater
11-03-2010, 10:07 PM
LMAO

Demonpenz
11-03-2010, 10:08 PM
on dvd

Archie F. Swin
11-03-2010, 10:08 PM
Is it like being blown by Zach Galifanakis?

Kyle DeLexus
11-03-2010, 10:10 PM
dfddd


ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

The Pedestrian
11-03-2010, 10:12 PM
Stop being a metrosexual pussy
and learn to like it
like a real man

Nothing wrong with the entirety of the carpet...it's the inevitability of choking on a single fiber. Being taken down so easily...it's downright pussifying. No pun intended.

Demonpenz
11-03-2010, 10:13 PM
ddd

BigMeatballDave
11-03-2010, 10:14 PM
Holy crap! This thread is full of WIN! LMAO

LaChapelle
11-03-2010, 10:15 PM
You're like the Stephen King of MS Paint

Demonpenz
11-03-2010, 10:19 PM
store

Mr. Flopnuts
11-03-2010, 10:21 PM
You are full of win throughout this thread.

Heh, believe it or not, I'm just trying to help. :D

Demonpenz
11-03-2010, 10:23 PM
ttt

stevieray
11-03-2010, 10:29 PM
You're like the Stephen King of MS Paint
hawkings

Demonpenz
11-03-2010, 10:29 PM
dddd

Sweet Daddy Hate
11-03-2010, 10:29 PM
ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

I am just pissing myself laughing at these! SO AWESOME.

Demonpenz
11-03-2010, 10:32 PM
dsd

SPchief
11-03-2010, 10:34 PM
Talk about some old school demon

SPchief
11-03-2010, 10:35 PM
LMAO

Sweet Daddy Hate
11-03-2010, 10:35 PM
dsd

ROFL

Demonpenz
11-03-2010, 10:36 PM
xxx

WV
11-03-2010, 10:42 PM
15 pages.....LOL!!

Demonpenz
11-03-2010, 10:43 PM
dd

Phobia
11-03-2010, 10:47 PM
If she's a charitable girl, which we know she is since you, well - uh anyway. I would simply educate her on the great things Locks of Love does in the community.

Demonpenz
11-03-2010, 10:48 PM
g

The Pedestrian
11-03-2010, 10:55 PM
If she's a charitable girl, which we know she is since you, well - uh anyway. I would simply educate her on the great things Locks of Love does in the community.

Pubes longer than 11 inches...oh geez...I'm going blind just thinking about it. :eek: :Lin:

booger
11-03-2010, 10:58 PM
how else ya figure they make fishin line?

Phobia
11-03-2010, 10:58 PM
Pubes longer than 11 inches...oh geez...I'm going blind just thinking about it. :eek: :Lin:

You know how I know mine are ready to donate?

threebag02
11-03-2010, 11:00 PM
If she shaves that thang you might find she has a bigger dagger than you.

booger
11-03-2010, 11:01 PM
i string macaroni on mine and put it on teh tree for christmas

threebag02
11-03-2010, 11:04 PM
Macaroni and Fumunda Cheese?

booger
11-03-2010, 11:05 PM
no just panty cheese

Phobia
11-03-2010, 11:05 PM
Apparently Google Ad Words recommends Curel to solve your problem.

booger
11-03-2010, 11:07 PM
looks like a birds nest

Thig Lyfe
11-03-2010, 11:10 PM
So I started seeing this girl a few months ago, and wanted it to be more of a serious relationship so I held off on too much physical stuff. Then the other night the holding out built up and things went crazy. This was fine, however there was one problem, when I ventured down to the southern regions, there was a lack of personal care. We're talking no grooming by her. I personally perfer a clean workspace, so this really turned me off.

Now how can I bring up this subject and tell her she needs to groom if she wants anything to happen again? I don't wanna sound like a selfish jerk, but I just can't deal with the unkept situation down there.

You're dating Christine O'Donnell?

threebag02
11-03-2010, 11:15 PM
Buy safari clothes and a machette and wear it to bed. When she asks what is this all about tell he your just getting ready in case she wants you to go down on her again.

threebag02
11-03-2010, 11:16 PM
If she hasn't shaved and you go down on her again on your way back up start choking like a cat heaving up a hairball maybe she will get the hint

RippedmyFlesh
11-03-2010, 11:22 PM
Buy her a small bikini and ask her to try it on. Then tell her how sexy she looks and stare a bit at the hair sticking out and offer to trim it for her.

JoeyChuckles
11-03-2010, 11:23 PM
ATM, then when she gets pissed tell her "oh, you don't like shit in your mouth either."

For the win.

Gravedigger
11-03-2010, 11:28 PM
Buy her a spa day with Brazilian wax included.

CrazyPhuD
11-03-2010, 11:40 PM
Meh just ask her if she likes to floss during oral sex? When she says no, you say you don't like to either.

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 11:43 PM
I beginning to understand why she has never got much action before. Poor her.

BIG_DADDY
11-03-2010, 11:45 PM
15 pages.....LOL!!

You knew it was going there the moment it was posted.

BIG_DADDY
11-03-2010, 11:47 PM
Get her one of these. Funny video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78Qoh4rT5Fg

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 11:48 PM
Good God man.....you need to come to a football forum to ask that? SOB...

Just tell mom your sister isn`t keeping clean.....

(huck yuck, knee slap)

A football forum seems perfect. Guys come here, and have dealt with girls. Win.

CrazyPhuD
11-03-2010, 11:50 PM
Get her one of these. Funny video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78Qoh4rT5Fg

ROFL

I was just going to make the suggestion that if she likes cats you should buy her a kitten and shave it before you give it too her. When she asks why you just tell her you like your kitties shaved.

Phobia
11-03-2010, 11:53 PM
A football forum seems perfect. Guys come here, and have dealt with girls. Win.

Some of them have. I'm still waiting for Gochiefs to respond to this thread, what with his first granny pump 3 months ago, he's the new macker of the site.

Phobia
11-03-2010, 11:55 PM
You know, the wife had been getting a little jungle lately. I just sent her a link to this thread and now she's in the shower with a sickle.

HoneyBadger
11-03-2010, 11:56 PM
You know, the wife had been getting a little jungle lately. I just sent her a link to this thread and now she's in the shower with a sickle.

Your very welcome

CrazyPhuD
11-03-2010, 11:59 PM
Of course the next time you have sex you could also just PIIHB. If she complains you just say you're sorry you were aiming for her pussy but must have missed it under all the hair. Now if she likes it.....:evil:

ExtremeChief
11-04-2010, 12:53 AM
Discreetly rub some nair on her. Tell her that burning sensation is just the chlamydia you gave her.

Holy shit...awesome!

BryanBusby
11-04-2010, 12:59 AM
Honestly, just be a fuckin man and just tell her straight up. A lot of problems with relationships pop up because people don't say anything or are passive aggressive about stuff.

If she cares at all, she'll at least trim the rain forest down to a secluded wooded area for you. If she does, at least repay her by lickin that shit like your life depends on it. If she don't, goodbye fuck her one last time and move on to her sister or cousin or mom w/e

ExtremeChief
11-04-2010, 01:08 AM
You should just tell her how much more pleasure you could give her if you weren't bouncing off a case of brillo pads

booger
11-04-2010, 04:49 AM
You know, the wife had been getting a little jungle lately. I just sent her a link to this thread and now she's in the shower with a sickle.

ROFL

beard season is getting close now though. getting colder outside.

Tuckdaddy
11-04-2010, 06:42 AM
ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLTell her your landlord would kick you out if you went that long without cutting the grass.

AWSOME! TOTALLY FUGGING AWSOME! Lack of care? HAHA!

RockChalk
11-04-2010, 06:56 AM
I read through the entire first 80 posts and skipped 81 through 240. I'm still in shock that nobody suggested PIIHB on the first page. I'm actually saddened by this.

tooge
11-04-2010, 07:08 AM
this is easy. just ask her if she ever thought of trimming things up down there. Tell her it makes it alot easier and more pleasant for you to pleasure her.

kepp
11-04-2010, 07:10 AM
Been cruising the high school parking lot in your Camaro with a six pack of Noffs, huh brah?

Nice.

"You know what I like about high school girls? I keep getting older, but they stay the same age."

Delano
11-04-2010, 07:38 AM
What the fuck are you doing fucking a Mexican? You're on the clock!

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NF9sqqt1mDw/0.jpg