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Cave Johnson
11-09-2010, 02:26 PM
Paging Richard Gere. Richard Gere, line 1.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/animals/mouse-found-lodged-inside-naked-arrestee

Meet Nolan Smith. He allegedly burglarized a home in South Carolina on Saturday night. A scuffle with cops sent him to to emergency room, where a doctor noticed that Nolan had a mouse in his rectum.

When police arrived on the scene — responding to a call about a break-in — Nolan was lying down in the doorway, nude. But he stood up and "rushed" the cops; and also slapped, kicked and tried to bite the officers. They used pepper spray, batons and a Taser to "subdue" him. That's how he ended up in the hospital, where an emergency room physician "noticed a mouse hanging" from Nolan's bottom. X-rays showed that part of the mouse was "lodged" in Nolan's rectum. When questioned, according to the police report, Nolan said "he did not recall what happened, nor did he remember any confrontation or prior dealings with law enforcement."

And here's the aha moment: Officers were speaking to the individuals outside the residence [who] stated that the subject was most likely under the influence of mushrooms.

Not that shrooms explain the mouse, but… better than nothing.

Sofa King
11-09-2010, 02:29 PM
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OBJ3rkNq2ok?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OBJ3rkNq2ok?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

FAX
11-09-2010, 02:29 PM
South Carolina: The Mushroom Eating Jamming Mice Up Your Ass State.

FAX

blaise
11-09-2010, 02:33 PM
He only ate the mushrooms because he heard mice liked to eat them.

And he was out of cheese.

Count Alex's Losses
11-09-2010, 02:35 PM
Man, I hadn't heard the Lemmiwinks song in a long time.

blaise
11-09-2010, 02:38 PM
The best laid schemes of mice and men
Gang aft agley
An leave us nought but grief and pain

Count Alex's Losses
11-09-2010, 02:38 PM
jethuth chrith!!!

teedubya
11-09-2010, 02:38 PM
Thats why I stay away from mice when I'm on shrooms.

Cave Johnson
11-09-2010, 02:46 PM
The perp.

Otter
11-09-2010, 02:48 PM
If you have Netflix watch "The Wild and Wonderful Whites". Available streaming.

It puts stories like this in perspective.

Dartgod
11-09-2010, 02:48 PM
Have you ever met a proctologist? They usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don’t walk away. Plant yourself there because you will hear the funniest stories you’ve ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never. It’s always an accident.

Every proctologist story ends in the same way… ‘It was a million to one shot, doc, million to one.’

Otter
11-09-2010, 02:49 PM
Have you ever met a proctologist? They usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don’t walk away. Plant yourself there because you will hear the funniest stories you’ve ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never. It’s always an accident.

Every proctologist story ends in the same way… ‘It was a million to one shot, doc, million to one.’

You had to use cork screw pasta.

Cave Johnson
11-09-2010, 02:50 PM
Have you ever met a proctologist? They usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don’t walk away. Plant yourself there because you will hear the funniest stories you’ve ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never. It’s always an accident.

Every proctologist story ends in the same way… ‘It was a million to one shot, doc, million to one.’

You can lump ER docs in that category as well.

Chief Chief
11-09-2010, 02:58 PM
It didn't say anywhere in the story if the mouse was found alive or dead, but I figure the Taser fried him/her.

Next up: A lawsuit against the PD for animal cruelty.

BigChiefTablet
11-09-2010, 02:59 PM
Dude sticks a mouse up his ass and people want to blame it on mushrooms? No wonder we have such screwed up drug laws. I cannot even imagine the actual cause of the event, but mushrooms ain't it.

Sofa King
11-09-2010, 03:04 PM
Dude sticks a mouse up his ass and people want to blame it on mushrooms? No wonder we have such screwed up drug laws. I cannot even imagine the actual cause of the event, but mushrooms ain't it.

Perhaps it really is possible that the guy is just a fucking dumbass.

Chiefnj2
11-09-2010, 03:05 PM
Where else is a naked man going to smuggle a mouse?

Sofa King
11-09-2010, 03:08 PM
any possibility this is a computer mouse?????


http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/qotd631-led-mice-3.jpg

seclark
11-09-2010, 03:15 PM
props to him for trying to build a better mousetrap.
sec

chasedude
11-09-2010, 03:18 PM
If you have Netflix watch "The Wild and Wonderful Whites". Available streaming.

It puts stories like this in perspective.

Looked at the trailer on youtube.

It looks hilarious! ROFL

Otter
11-09-2010, 03:18 PM
Looked at the trailer on youtube.

It looks hilarious! ROFL

It's fucking crazy. It's like watching "Gummo" the documentary.

chasedude
11-09-2010, 03:19 PM
Have you ever met a proctologist? They usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don’t walk away. Plant yourself there because you will hear the funniest stories you’ve ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never. It’s always an accident.

Every proctologist story ends in the same way… ‘It was a million to one shot, doc, million to one.’

Seinfeld Rep!

chasedude
11-09-2010, 03:20 PM
It's ****ing crazy. It's like watching "Gummo" the documentary.

I've seen Gummo. That movie truly boggles the mind!

Bowser
11-09-2010, 03:30 PM
The perp.

Interrogating officer: Kid, what the hell is eating your ass?

Perp: SHUT THE FUCK UP I WAS ON SHROOMS!!! WHERE'S MY MOTHER???

Entire precinct: AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Hog Farmer
11-09-2010, 07:29 PM
Have you ever met a proctologist? They usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don’t walk away. Plant yourself there because you will hear the funniest stories you’ve ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never. It’s always an accident.

Every proctologist story ends in the same way… ‘It was a million to one shot, doc, million to one.’

Sounds like you've been there.

Simply Red
11-09-2010, 07:38 PM
I've seen Gummo. That movie truly boggles the mind!

what's even scarier is; that movie is VERY realistic, well, it would be if it were the eighties. That movie is brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

Rausch
11-09-2010, 07:46 PM
If you have Netflix watch "The Wild and Wonderful Whites". Available streaming.

It puts stories like this in perspective.

Damnit! Netflix is tits up!:cuss:

Simply Red
11-09-2010, 10:25 PM
what does 'tits up' mean? ... I seriously don't know.

chasedude
11-09-2010, 10:49 PM
what does 'tits up' mean? ... I seriously don't know.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tits%20up