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View Full Version : Poop What's the best way to commit suicide?


Gadzooks
12-05-2010, 06:43 PM
There are plenty of options. But lets say you were just diagnosed with inoperable cancer or your team just lost to the Turds. How would go about it?.

Spott
12-05-2010, 06:44 PM
Antifreeze

WilliamTheIrish
12-05-2010, 06:45 PM
Reading any nosewad thread/post. It's not as painless as the Kevorkian machine though.

SNR
12-05-2010, 06:45 PM
Antifreeze/thread

Hog Farmer
12-05-2010, 06:45 PM
Guzzle Boar cum .

Gracie Dean
12-05-2010, 06:45 PM
Reading any nosewad thread/post. It's not as painless as the Kevorkian machine though.

fuck you asswipe


you better not post anything not related to football :)

LiveSteam
12-05-2010, 06:45 PM
I can loan you my Colt Walker

crossbow
12-05-2010, 06:46 PM
Wear a Chiefs Jersey at a Raiders home game.

Buck
12-05-2010, 06:46 PM
I tried to get Nate Kaeding to shoot me in the head but he came up short.

LiveSteam
12-05-2010, 06:46 PM
Wear a Chiefs Jersey at a Raiders home game.

ROFL

Delano
12-05-2010, 06:46 PM
Hari Kari?

http://filmfanatic.org/reviews/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/harold-and-maude-hari-kari.png

WilliamTheIrish
12-05-2010, 06:47 PM
**** you asswipe


you better not post anything not related to football :)

Just start a nosewad repository where you can talk about pain and addiction, you fucking junkie.

Rudy lost the toss
12-05-2010, 06:47 PM
Don't worry...y'all beat the colts

JD10367
12-05-2010, 06:47 PM
Don't commit suicide. It's senseless.

Get yourself arrested, then while in prison try to kill as many child molesters and rapists as possible until you get shanked.

That way, when you meet your maker, you can say, "Hey, I did something useful on my way out."

SNR
12-05-2010, 06:49 PM
Call Shaun Smith's mom up and tell her she's ugly.

Death by ball-grabbing

Dayze
12-05-2010, 06:49 PM
I'd go out like a real man...

Head down to MoHillbilly's neck of the woods and start insulting his family...maybe piss on his property; smear Poo on his front door etc,


that's the real way to go out.

Zaiko
12-05-2010, 06:49 PM
I'd probably ask the chan kids.

el borracho
12-05-2010, 06:50 PM
I suggest a combination of lethal methods, so as not to screw up and just end up still alive but more messed up than before.

For example, take a small boat to a deep lake. Bring along a bottle of sleeping pills, a pint of Thai whiskey, a 10 pound brick, two feet of strong rope and a pistol. Tie the brick to your feet with the rope, then drink the bottle of whiskey, then eat a handful of pills, then climb overboard (brick in the water), hang on to the boat with one hand, put the pistol in your mouth with your other hand, let go of the boat and pull the trigger.

Bane
12-05-2010, 06:50 PM
Lay on train tracks.

Bump
12-05-2010, 06:50 PM
Walk through any minority dominated neighborhood in the country, at night.

BigMeatballDave
12-05-2010, 06:52 PM
Grab a gallon of antifreeze. Climb a burning AIDS tree. Consume antifreeze.

You're welcome.

Pants
12-05-2010, 06:52 PM
6 million ways to die, chose one.

JD10367
12-05-2010, 06:54 PM
I suggest a combination of lethal methods, so as not to screw up and just end up still alive but more messed up than before.

For example, take a small boat to a deep lake. Bring along a bottle of sleeping pills, a pint of Thai whiskey, a 10 pound brick, two feet of strong rope and a pistol. Tie the brick to your feet with the rope, then drink the bottle of whiskey, then eat a handful of pills, then climb overboard (brick in the water), hang on to the boat with one hand, put the pistol in your mouth with your other hand, let go of the boat and pull the trigger.

I'd love to see that filmed. :D

JD10367
12-05-2010, 06:54 PM
6 million ways to die, chose one.

According to Spike, there's only a thousand ways to die. (I love that show...)

Redcoats58
12-05-2010, 06:54 PM
Lay on train tracks.

Yeah dont do this, I work for a railroad and the last thing I wanna see is some idiot kill himself then have to go down to the rail where he got turned into hamburger and make sure that he is dead. Not really a fun day on the job.

LaChapelle
12-05-2010, 06:55 PM
Can we get an injury report first
I'd like to sling shit about getting swept by the Raiders
but Karma has teeth in her vag

Bane
12-05-2010, 06:55 PM
Yeah dont do this, I work for a railroad and the last thing I wanna see is some idiot kill himself then have to go down to the rail where he got turned into hamburger and make sure that he is dead. Not really a fun day on the job.

Or stand in between the rail car knuckles as they hook up.:thumb: Good times!

JD10367
12-05-2010, 06:57 PM
Walk through any minority dominated neighborhood in the country, at night.

You mean like Bruce Willis in "Die Hard With A Vengeance"?

BTW... Am I remembering it wrong, or was he NOT wearing an "I HATE BLACK PEOPLE" sign in that film? And they later digitally edited it to "I HATE EVERY ONE" for the future video/TV releases? Much like how Disney changed Robin Williams's 'Arabian Nights' song at the beginning of "Aladdin" to remove 'where they cut off your nose/if they don't like your face' lyric? JFC, I hate political correctness.

The Bad Guy
12-05-2010, 06:58 PM
Let Tom Cable assfuck you with the spiked dildo used in the movie Seven.

Otter
12-05-2010, 06:58 PM
Soak myself in gasoline, chuck some anti-freeze, set myself on fire then ride one of those mini-motorcycles full speed into an aids tree.

Bump
12-05-2010, 06:58 PM
You mean like Bruce Willis in "Die Hard With A Vengeance"?

BTW... Am I remembering it wrong, or was he NOT wearing an "I HATE BLACK PEOPLE" sign in that film? And they later digitally edited it to "I HATE EVERY ONE" for the future video/TV releases? Much like how Disney changed Robin Williams's 'Arabian Nights' song at the beginning of "Aladdin" to remove 'where they cut off your nose/if they don't like your face' lyric? JFC, I hate political correctness.

I watched that in the theatre, I think it said "I hate n-words"

Otter
12-05-2010, 06:59 PM
You mean like Bruce Willis in "Die Hard With A Vengeance"?

BTW... Am I remembering it wrong, or was he NOT wearing an "I HATE BLACK PEOPLE" sign in that film? And they later digitally edited it to "I HATE EVERY ONE" for the future video/TV releases? Much like how Disney changed Robin Williams's 'Arabian Nights' song at the beginning of "Aladdin" to remove 'where they cut off your nose/if they don't like your face' lyric? JFC, I hate political correctness.

The original was "I Hate Niggers" then yes, it was sissified down for the weak.

Redcoats58
12-05-2010, 07:00 PM
Or stand in between the rail car knuckles as they hook up.:thumb: Good times!

Yeah that would do it but I don't know how a person would pull it off unless they worked for a railroad and wanted to commit suicide on the job.

JD10367
12-05-2010, 07:01 PM
I watched that in the theatre, I think it said "I hate n-words"

Okay, that's what I thought. And it was hilarious in the theater, to see a white dude wearing that sandwich board in a black neighborhood, the point being that he was going to get killed doing it. Sanitixing it to "I HATE EVERY ONE" was stupid and didn't even make any sense; why would blacks living in a black neighborhood really give a rat's ass about a white guy wearing that sign? Saying that you hate everyone isn't exactly a moral crime or a dangerous undertaking. Watch: I hate everyone. See? No big deal.

crossbow
12-05-2010, 07:01 PM
I met a guy that put a shotgun in his mouth and flinched at the critical moment. I will never forget how his face looked as long as I live. Not a pretty sight.

JD10367
12-05-2010, 07:02 PM
Have sex with Paris Hilton and just let the diseases get you in time. At least you'd have a fun night on the way out.

Bane
12-05-2010, 07:04 PM
Yeah that would do it but I don't know how a person would pull it off unless they worked for a railroad and wanted to commit suicide on the job.

Now you're coming around.It happened before at a grain elevator close to my home town.Poor fella could have chosen a better way I guess.

JD10367
12-05-2010, 07:06 PM
Assuming you're looking for painless, supposedly a pill overdose is the way to go, but you have to make sure to do the job. Slitting your wrists in a warm tub is also supposedly painless but I don't buy it; you also have to slit parallel to the arm to do it right, and it seems too messy for my tastes. Carbon monoxide seems like a nice painless way to go, just run the exhaust hose into the car and take a dirt nap. Everything else seems too messy and painful (guns, hanging, fire, drowning, jumping).

KCChiefsFan88
12-05-2010, 07:07 PM
Live in Nebraska

Chieftain58
12-05-2010, 07:08 PM
ping pong balls in your nostrils

JoeyChuckles
12-05-2010, 07:11 PM
Not to be captain bringdown, but I have some experience in this area. It's cool if you guys are joking, but if someone in here is serious, please let someone know.

I know this is most likely all a joke, but I just have to do my due diligance. Sorry.

Rain Man
12-05-2010, 07:11 PM
I suggest a combination of lethal methods, so as not to screw up and just end up still alive but more messed up than before.

For example, take a small boat to a deep lake. Bring along a bottle of sleeping pills, a pint of Thai whiskey, a 10 pound brick, two feet of strong rope and a pistol. Tie the brick to your feet with the rope, then drink the bottle of whiskey, then eat a handful of pills, then climb overboard (brick in the water), hang on to the boat with one hand, put the pistol in your mouth with your other hand, let go of the boat and pull the trigger.

Instead of a boat, why would you not jump out of a plane without a parachute and do all of that other stuff on the way down?

JD10367
12-05-2010, 07:12 PM
Get between a hippo and its territorial waters.

Or, if you don't have access to a hippo, get between Rex Ryan and a sandwich.

Rain Man
12-05-2010, 07:13 PM
Not to be captain bringdown, but I have some experience in this area. It's cool if you guys are joking, but if someone in here is serious, please let someone know.

I know this is most likely all a joke, but I just have to do my due diligance. Sorry.


Yeah, that's a good point.

Gadzooks, I have a really good thread idea that I'm working on. Don't do anything or you'll miss it, and it's a really good one.

Redcoats58
12-05-2010, 07:13 PM
Now you're coming around.It happened before at a grain elevator close to my home town.Poor fella could have chosen a better way I guess.

Sounds like a painful way to go, must have been punishing himself on the way out.

Pants
12-05-2010, 07:13 PM
According to Spike, there's only a thousand ways to die. (I love that show...)

According to Subtle, there are 6 millions way to die. :)

BillSelfsTrophycase
12-05-2010, 07:13 PM
I tried to get Nate Kaeding to shoot me in the head but he came up short.

ROFL

You sure he didn't miss wide right?

JD10367
12-05-2010, 07:16 PM
Not to be captain bringdown, but I have some experience in this area. It's cool if you guys are joking, but if someone in here is serious, please let someone know.

I know this is most likely all a joke, but I just have to do my due diligance. Sorry.

I'm no expert in the area, but I wonder how many people who are truly suicidal actually say, "I'm thinking about suicide". I would think it's a small percentage, that most people who do that are more the "looking for attention" kind (who also make weak attempts at it). Not trying to be an ass, just saying. I could be totally wrong about that assumption, but I always thought that people who were pretty serious about it didn't really give anyone advance notice. I hear one of the things to look for is someone who suddenly starts giving their shit away, especially stuff that means something to them.

Wait... Peyton's suddenly been giving the ball away... :rolleyes: Should we have him checked up on?

Gadzooks
12-05-2010, 07:16 PM
Not to be captain bringdown, but I have some experience in this area. It's cool if you guys are joking, but if someone in here is serious, please let someone know.

I know this is most likely all a joke, but I just have to do my due diligance. Sorry.

I did not mean to make light of suicide. I understand a lot of people have gone through pain beacause of it.

Rain Man
12-05-2010, 07:17 PM
I'm no expert in the area, but I wonder how many people who are truly suicidal actually say, "I'm thinking about suicide". I would think it's a small percentage, that most people who do that are more the "looking for attention" kind (who also make weak attempts at it). Not trying to be an ass, just saying. I could be totally wrong about that assumption, but I always thought that people who were pretty serious about it didn't really give anyone advance notice. I hear one of the things to look for is someone who suddenly starts giving their shit away, especially stuff that means something to them.



Actually, I thought it was the opposite, but that's just hearsay.

Gadzooks
12-05-2010, 07:23 PM
I'm no expert in the area, but I wonder how many people who are truly suicidal actually say, "I'm thinking about suicide". I would think it's a small percentage, that most people who do that are more the "looking for attention" kind (who also make weak attempts at it). Not trying to be an ass, just saying. I could be totally wrong about that assumption, but I always thought that people who were pretty serious about it didn't really give anyone advance notice. I hear one of the things to look for is someone who suddenly starts giving their shit away, especially stuff that means something to them.

Wait... Peyton's suddenly been giving the ball away... :rolleyes: Should we have him checked up on?

I've heard that too. Anybody want the rest of my Chargers season tickets?

JoeyChuckles
12-05-2010, 07:27 PM
No problem guys, just wanted to double check. Keep on joking, it's a lot more fun then where I led the conversation.