PDA

View Full Version : Life How do you deal with this?


Otter
12-20-2010, 02:34 PM
One of my oldest friends came down for the weekend who's been having a bad run of luck with divorce and money and the whole shitty economy in general. I've had $300 dollars in cash in the same spot forever, it's just cash on hand money that I keep in the house and it's gone.

I was roommates in college with this guy and known him since I was 10 years old. He already owns my $1300 and I think he just stole off me.

Can't even describe how I feel right now. I trusted this guy, he would have been the best man in my wedding if I got married next week. I feel like my Mom just called me ugly, I'm freaking heartbroken. How would you approach this? How do you even bring this up?

Jesus, I hope I'm wrong but I really don't know how I can be unless the money grew legs and walked away.

MOhillbilly
12-20-2010, 02:36 PM
i would sit and wait to see what/how his reaction is. if he calls/connects in the same way as before.


and be double sure its gone & he was the only one who had access to it.

blaise
12-20-2010, 02:38 PM
That's tough. I would probably call him and say, "Dude, you really needed it that bad? Keep it, and don't bother calling me again. Or put it under my door tonight and I'll pretend it never happened."

Zeke
12-20-2010, 02:38 PM
Wow, that's devastating. I'm not sure what I would do. I've had my kids take money from me before, and it's pretty simple to threaten all their lives... turn your back, and the money will mysteriously reappear. Maybe try that?

Jewish Rabbi
12-20-2010, 02:39 PM
Why would you keep cash stashed in random places? You're just asking for trouble.

CaliforniaChief
12-20-2010, 02:41 PM
What a tough situation. Mo is right...make darned sure it's not there/somewhere else. But then I would just approach it directly. Don't play games, don't "test" him, anything like that.

Dayze
12-20-2010, 02:41 PM
Re-invite him over; stash some more cash in the same spot; but rig an exploding dye-pack.


Seriously though; good luck. That sucks man.

Chiefnj2
12-20-2010, 02:42 PM
If you are certain the money was in the spot before your friend visited and are 100% certain he was the only person with access to it, then I'd talk to him and let him know he should have asked.

MIAdragon
12-20-2010, 02:42 PM
Why would you keep cash stashed in random places? You're just asking for trouble.

It wasn't random thats the problem.

HotRoute
12-20-2010, 02:43 PM
Had this happen a couple times, by the same person the last time it was about $550 i went to his house beat the shit out of him as soon as he opened the door and that was last time I had money missing.

Later on down the road the guy admitted to doing it, and said it was for drugs and asked for forgiveness and I said hey, "money is always coming and going, but once you lose my trust that will never come back"

Pants
12-20-2010, 02:43 PM
Tell him all he needed to do was ask. That you thought you guys were better friends than that.

That sucks, man.

Otter
12-20-2010, 02:45 PM
i would sit and wait to see what/how his reaction is. if he calls/connects in the same way as before.


and be double sure its gone & he was the only one who had access to it.

I did make sure it's gone. I tore apart the whole drawer where it was and unless someone broke in while we were out and left all my guns and every other valuable I have but took the money there's no other logical explanation.

If this was anyone else there would be kneecapping in the works but I can't with this guy. This is a shitty feeling.

Simply Red
12-20-2010, 02:46 PM
best be sure he indeed is the responsible party, that's all I can say. That sucks brah.

Call me soon.

hawkchief
12-20-2010, 02:56 PM
If you can confirm he did it, then he's not the friend you thought you had. Then, might as well confront him about it because your friendship is likely over unless you are extremely forgiving and willing to move forward with him on that level.

Otter
12-20-2010, 02:57 PM
best be sure he indeed is the responsible party, that's all I can say. That sucks brah.

Call me soon.

Trust me man, I'm trying to come up with alternatives of what happened but just can't find any. I'm going to sleep on it before doing anything.

For the sake of relevance to the board I feel like you and Bwana just kicked my dog to death before leaving the house. It's just that shitty of a feeling.

I have to get back into work, what a shitty ****ing Monday.

Slainte
12-20-2010, 02:57 PM
Walls...

Saulbadguy
12-20-2010, 03:08 PM
OT: Why would you keep $300 in cash anywhere? Why not just keep it in a bank?

MOhillbilly
12-20-2010, 03:10 PM
I did make sure it's gone. I tore apart the whole drawer where it was and unless someone broke in while we were out and left all my guns and every other valuable I have but took the money there's no other logical explanation.

If this was anyone else there would be kneecapping in the works but I can't with this guy. This is a shitty feeling.

swallow it down and be stone cold about it. Its the only way.

Otter
12-20-2010, 03:11 PM
OT: Why would you keep $300 in cash anywhere? Why not just keep it in a bank?

I don't know dude, I come from an old Italian family the lived during the depression and was taught to keep some money on hand. Would it make more sense someone stole my credit card and charged a TV?

Otter
12-20-2010, 03:13 PM
swallow it down and be stone cold about it. Its the only way.

That's gonna be rough Mo, like I said I'm sleeping on it for right now. I really want to be sure.

tooge
12-20-2010, 03:13 PM
tough one, mainly cuz you look like the biggest douche in the world if you got drunk and spent it and he didn't take it. If you are 100% sure he took it then I would mention it to him and see if he fesses up. Either way, life is too short to have "friends" that shit on you. BTW, was it relatively hidden or out in the open

penguinz
12-20-2010, 03:13 PM
I don't know dude, I come from an old Italian family the lived during the depression and was taught to keep some money on hand. Would it make more sense someone stole my credit card and charged a TV?Why not keep in in a secured spot like a safe?

Saulbadguy
12-20-2010, 03:13 PM
I don't know dude, I come from an old Italian family the lived during the depression and was taught to keep some money on hand. Would it make more sense someone stole my credit card and charged a TV?

I don't keep credit cards stored around the house either. :doh!:

Otter
12-20-2010, 03:14 PM
Why not keep in in a secured spot like a safe?

because it's my fucking house and last I checked it's not illegal to keep $300

HemiEd
12-20-2010, 03:15 PM
That's tough. I would probably call him and say, "Dude, you really needed it that bad? Keep it, and don't bother calling me again. Or put it under my door tonight and I'll pretend it never happened."

I agree.

The guy has already caused you a lot of grief, you shouldn't have to keep it under your hat.

Get it off your chest, and move on, or it will eat you up.

MOhillbilly
12-20-2010, 03:15 PM
That's gonna be rough Mo, like I said I'm sleeping on it for right now. I really want to be sure.
for sure sleep on it.


if i can do it after the month i had, you can.

sometimes you just gotta put a bullet in a relationship no matter how bad it tears you apart.
If its gotta be done, its gotta be done.

Otter's Mom
12-20-2010, 03:15 PM
Son, I hate to tell you this, but you really are ugly.

HoneyBadger
12-20-2010, 03:16 PM
Now you can't hire a lawyer to sue him.

Otter
12-20-2010, 03:17 PM
Son, I hate to tell you this, but you really are ugly.

Hehe

Otter
12-20-2010, 03:17 PM
for sure sleep on it.


if i can do it after the month i had, you can.

sometimes you just gotta put a bullet in a relationship no matter how bad it tears you apart.
If its gotta be dont, its gotta be done.

Thanks Mo

Pants
12-20-2010, 03:18 PM
Otter, are you taking Ambien or anything like that? Are you sleep-walker in general?

MOhillbilly
12-20-2010, 03:18 PM
i wouldnt call or say shit.

sleep on it though, for acouple days if you have to.

InChiefsHell
12-20-2010, 03:25 PM
Gotta figure if your friend is so desperate to steal 300.00 out of your house, he's really not right in the head. He's gotta KNOW that there's a good chance he'll be caught, unless you always have a ton of people over and he knows that.

...is he and addict or a drinker? I dunno, it sounds to me like this guy has some deeper issues than just being a clepto.

That sucks either way though. Depends on how much you need the money and how much you give a shit about keeping this friend whether you should confront him or not.

But you might be this dude's only hope too...good luck man...Merry Christmas eh?

blaise
12-20-2010, 03:27 PM
I don't know if I would sleep on it too many days, not if you think he really took it. If you're going to say anything, maybe it's best to do it before he maybe spends it, and he has a chance to just give it back.

MOhillbilly
12-20-2010, 03:29 PM
I don't know if I would sleep on it too many days, not if you think he really took it. If you're going to say anything, maybe it's best to do it before he maybe spends it, and he has a chance to just give it back.

why put him in a position to betray your trust again?


you know whats comin just get it over with and deal with it.

penguinz
12-20-2010, 03:32 PM
because it's my ****ing house and last I checked it's not illegal to keep $300So because it is your house there is no reason to keep something of value in a secured environment?

Extra Point
12-20-2010, 03:34 PM
That's tough. I would probably call him and say, "Dude, you really needed it that bad? Keep it, and don't bother calling me again. Or put it under my door tonight and I'll pretend it never happened."

Pearls of wisdom.

MOhillbilly
12-20-2010, 03:37 PM
about a year ago i damn near killed a brother of mine for disrespecting another brother in his own home.
he called me for weeks apologizing. didnt take the calls let it go to voicemail. after awhile he quit calling.

Short Leash Hootie
12-20-2010, 03:37 PM
So because it is your house there is no reason to keep something of value in a secured environment?

dude I'm a 25 year old degenerate piece of shit with two roommates (best friends for 10+ years) and I have $700 sitting in my drawer right now...

I'm too lazy to go to a bank but neither of those assholes ever steal my money and I have hundreds of dollars in that drawer every week since I get paid in cash all of the time...

why the hell does he have to hide $300 in his own house? If it was $5000, sure, maybe...

but $300? Really? And what is his friend doing stealing that money?

I have an ACQUAINTANCE who asked me to get him a job...he had just lost his best friend and we all felt kind of bad for him...

so every year we all paint campus apartments for 9 days straight and get about $1300 out of it...

I asked my friend if he could tag along and help us out and get paid, too...and he said ok.

So we all have been doing it for 4 or 5 years and we'll always go grab some food together at lunch...the dude tags along and has NO MONEY...so being the nice guy I am I pay for his food every day...

no big deal

and then 3 days later he asks to borrow $50...I say "ok, just hit me back when we get paid"...he then proceeds to ask what the "max amount of money he can borrow is"...I say $50...

we get paid...he dives in for his check before anyone and then never pays me that $50 again...this dude wasn't even a friend and I went out of my way to get him this job, to lend him $50, and to buy his meals for a week...

some people are just asshole mother fuckers that aren't worth being nice to...seems like Otter has one of these guys he needs to deal with

Fruit Ninja
12-20-2010, 03:41 PM
Time to just bring it up to the dude, n say, get the fuck on, me and you are done. Especially if you guys are already out o school and not young and stupid. He could have at least asked.

You can punch him in the face or somethig, but the money will still be gone and its really not worth going to jail for if his ass is the type to call the cops.

Dudes are like that, my best friend did that to a friend he thought he had, my friend went to the extreme broke a fucking dos equis bottle over his head. He had to do 3 months in jail for that. haha

Short Leash Hootie
12-20-2010, 03:43 PM
why are some dudes so stupid?

why does everything always involve fighting?

my friends and I...never have gotten into physical altercations...and some of my friends are massive, strong, badass dudes...

why does everything have to be settled with fighting? God damn never in my life have I thought..."gee golly I want to punch that dude in the face!"

people like that do crack me up though

FRCDFED
12-20-2010, 03:45 PM
When you confront him don't ask him "if" he took the money......ask him "why" he took the money when he knew he could've just asked for help. That way you don't waste any time on the "it wasn't me" bullshit!

penguinz
12-20-2010, 03:45 PM
dude I'm a 25 year old degenerate piece of shit with two roommates (best friends for 10+ years) and I have $700 sitting in my drawer right now...

I'm too lazy to go to a bank but neither of those assholes ever steal my money and I have hundreds of dollars in that drawer every week since I get paid in cash all of the time...

why the hell does he have to hide $300 in his own house? If it was $5000, sure, maybe...

but $300? Really? And what is his friend doing stealing that money?

I have an ACQUAINTANCE who asked me to get him a job...he had just lost his best friend and we all felt kind of bad for him...

so every year we all paint campus apartments for 9 days straight and get about $1300 out of it...

I asked my friend if he could tag along and help us out and get paid, too...and he said ok.

So we all have been doing it for 4 or 5 years and we'll always go grab some food together at lunch...the dude tags along and has NO MONEY...so being the nice guy I am I pay for his food every day...

no big deal

and then 3 days later he asks to borrow $50...I say "ok, just hit me back when we get paid"...he then proceeds to ask what the "max amount of money he can borrow is"...I say $50...

we get paid...he dives in for his check before anyone and then never pays me that $50 again...this dude wasn't even a friend and I went out of my way to get him this job, to lend him $50, and to buy his meals for a week...

some people are just asshole mother ****ers that aren't worth being nice to...seems like Otter has one of these guys he needs to deal withOK. You convinced me. I am going to go home and take all my valuables out of the safe and put it all in my sock drawer. :rolleyes:

KCUnited
12-20-2010, 03:46 PM
I'd let it go and let the silence do the talking for me.

FRCDFED
12-20-2010, 03:47 PM
OK. You convinced me. I am going to go home and take all my valuables out of the safe and put it all in my sock drawer. :rolleyes:Dude get over it! It's his house he can do wtf he wants with his money. The point is that is was "supposed" to be a close friend that he shouldn't have to question his trust. Geeez!

MOhillbilly
12-20-2010, 03:49 PM
why are some dudes so stupid?

why does everything always involve fighting?

my friends and I...never have gotten into physical altercations...and some of my friends are massive, strong, badass dudes...

why does everything have to be settled with fighting? God damn never in my life have I thought..."gee golly I want to punch that dude in the face!"

people like that do crack me up though

in my case a beatin was a last resort to snuff anyone else gettin hurt.

WV
12-20-2010, 03:52 PM
Ask him for a courtesy reach around, that's the least he could do after fucking you in the ass.

Simply Red
12-20-2010, 03:56 PM
Trust me man, I'm trying to come up with alternatives of what happened but just can't find any. I'm going to sleep on it before doing anything.

For the sake of relevance to the board I feel like you and Bwana just kicked my dog to death before leaving the house. It's just that shitty of a feeling.

I have to get back into work, what a shitty ****ing Monday.

I know man, that really does suck. Very shitty.

T-post Tom
12-20-2010, 04:34 PM
So how many billboards of you has he put up around town?

http://i51.tinypic.com/dg1gxw.gif

Hog Farmer
12-20-2010, 04:46 PM
I'd give him 24 hours to bring up the fact that he borrowed your cash without permission. If he doesn't bring it up I'd grab him by the throat and tell him "I want my Goddamn money back right fucking now before I cut you up into fishbait". Then I'd pull the chainsaw out from under the bed and fire it up.

Helpful hint: Make sure the chainsaw will start right away. It doesn't cause the desired reaction when they stand there and watch you pull the cord for 5 minutes .

Phobia
12-20-2010, 04:58 PM
I agree with everybody else. It's your fault that you left money in your own house. You should have invested that $300 in a safe that will hide between the floor joists.

The advice about confronting him about why he took your money instead of giving him an opportunity to deny it was good.

jettio
12-20-2010, 04:59 PM
Unless this dude is your only friend and you are afraid of going friendless you should just straightforwardly confront the situation.

I don't think you should cry or plead or tell him how betrayed you feel. You should just tell him that your $300.00 is missing, you think he did it and take it from there.

Phobia
12-20-2010, 05:04 PM
I'd walk up to him with my hand out, telling him $300 better do a re-appearing act very quickly or the police would be there shortly.

Hog Farmer
12-20-2010, 05:10 PM
Ther's an old saying. " There ain't nothin that can't be fixed with 300 bucks or a .30-06"

Bwana
12-20-2010, 05:12 PM
Hmmm, Well that sucks. I got stung like that once several years ago by a "friend." I knew damm well the guy lifted cash from my wallet. I had just loaded a couple hundred in there and had my wallet sitting on a counter in my house. I went in and took a fast shower while he was "watching TV" and we hit the bar. When we got to the bar, I went to pay for a couple of beers and $200 and shrunk down to $140.

I turned to the friend and said "on second thought, you should pick up the first round, it still won't cost you a dime of your own money, will it?" The guy turned pasty white. He thought I was going to lay a beating on him. He paid for the round and I took his wallet and pulled all his money out. I told him that I was pulling a Repo of my $60 and taking the extra for a bonus, because he was a fukstick. Dude had $237 in there.

I drank my beer, left his sorry ass at the bar and I never talked to him again.

DJ's left nut
12-20-2010, 05:14 PM
I think I'd use some combination of InChiefsHell's advice and a few others.

He's your boy, every one of us has one of those guys that we'd go to war for (and for most of us, it's really just one guy. If you have 10 of them, you really don't have any). I gotta tell you, if my boy took an appreciable amount of money from me, pissed would be the furthest thing from my mind.

I'd be flat out scared for the guy. This isn't the time to get your dick out and tear him up. It's $300 you didn't need, you won't be starving. That's not to say you should ignore it, but don't approach it from anger. Like I said, he didn't just take food out of your kids' mouths.

I wouldn't even get really coy about it. None of the "leave it under the door" stuff, no ultimatums. Approach it head on but approach it rationally. Just sit down with him as an adult and ask him what's going wrong. Make sure he knows you've got his back. And make damn sure he knows you won't if it happens like this again.

I dunno, maybe I'm a pussy here. But I really think my first thought if my boy took money from me would be worry. It's not like if I had some drinkin' buddy come steal, that's grounds for a beating. This is my boy - That'd be like having my sibling or my parents steal from me. My first concern would be how to help out a person very close to me while letting him know that there's a trapdoor here. I'll help once now that I know how dire this is, but it will not happen again...

Good luck man.

Otter
12-20-2010, 05:28 PM
Hmmm, Well that sucks. I got stung like that once several years ago by a "friend." I knew damm well the guy lifted cash from my wallet. I had just loaded a couple hundred in there and had my wallet sitting on a counter in my house. I went in and took a fast shower while he was "watching TV" and we hit the bar. When we got to the bar, I went to pay for a couple of beers and $200 and shrunk down to $140.

I turned to the friend and said "on second thought, you should pick up the first round, it still won't cost you a dime of your own money, will it?" The guy turned pasty white. He thought I was going to lay a beating on him. He paid for the round and I took his wallet and pulled all his money out. I told him that I was pulling a Repo of my $60 and taking the extra for a bonus, because he was a fukstick. Dude had $237 in there.

I drank my beer, left his sorry ass at the bar and I never talked to him again.

I plan on handling this one in a similar fashion. This one kicked the shit out of me Greg, I didn't see this coming at all and it really sucks.

If you ever need a favor bud ask me and I'll bend over backwards. I know, it's the moment. He's got exactly one chance to make this right.

LaChapelle
12-20-2010, 05:33 PM
He used your home for a Graig'slist fling and the slut stole the money
I'd be more concerned with getting the sheets steam cleaned

Bwana
12-20-2010, 05:37 PM
I plan on handling this one in a similar fashion. This one kicked the shit out of me Greg, I didn't see this coming at all and it really sucks.

If you ever need a favor bud ask me and I'll bend over backwards. I know, it's the moment. He's got exactly one chance to make this right.

Yeah, I know it sucks and the guy that did it to me, wasn't near the level of "friend" you are talking about. He wasn't on the top buddy list before he went getto and sure as hell wasn't after he pulled that crap. Tough call Joe, we are all built a little different. I think you know me well enough to know, that I'm not one to do nothing. Good Luck bud.

ForeverChiefs58
12-20-2010, 05:40 PM
"Am I my brother's keeper?"

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xA3s36jR5Xs?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xA3s36jR5Xs?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

Der Flöprer
12-20-2010, 05:44 PM
I think I'd use some combination of InChiefsHell's advice and a few others.

He's your boy, every one of us has one of those guys that we'd go to war for (and for most of us, it's really just one guy. If you have 10 of them, you really don't have any). I gotta tell you, if my boy took an appreciable amount of money from me, pissed would be the furthest thing from my mind.

I'd be flat out scared for the guy. This isn't the time to get your dick out and tear him up. It's $300 you didn't need, you won't be starving. That's not to say you should ignore it, but don't approach it from anger. Like I said, he didn't just take food out of your kids' mouths.

I wouldn't even get really coy about it. None of the "leave it under the door" stuff, no ultimatums. Approach it head on but approach it rationally. Just sit down with him as an adult and ask him what's going wrong. Make sure he knows you've got his back. And make damn sure he knows you won't if it happens like this again.

I dunno, maybe I'm a pussy here. But I really think my first thought if my boy took money from me would be worry. It's not like if I had some drinkin' buddy come steal, that's grounds for a beating. This is my boy - That'd be like having my sibling or my parents steal from me. My first concern would be how to help out a person very close to me while letting him know that there's a trapdoor here. I'll help once now that I know how dire this is, but it will not happen again...

Good luck man.

I think you're spot fucking on. It's $300. Isn't this guy "the best man at my wedding if I got married next week"? Something's wrong for this to go down. Be his friend, but be clear that he's lost your trust. At the same point, make sure he knows you still care about him and are there for him. But that you'd prefer to help him out financially by choice the next time.

Sully
12-20-2010, 05:45 PM
I think I'd use some combination of InChiefsHell's advice and a few others.

He's your boy, every one of us has one of those guys that we'd go to war for (and for most of us, it's really just one guy. If you have 10 of them, you really don't have any). I gotta tell you, if my boy took an appreciable amount of money from me, pissed would be the furthest thing from my mind.

I'd be flat out scared for the guy. This isn't the time to get your dick out and tear him up. It's $300 you didn't need, you won't be starving. That's not to say you should ignore it, but don't approach it from anger. Like I said, he didn't just take food out of your kids' mouths.

I wouldn't even get really coy about it. None of the "leave it under the door" stuff, no ultimatums. Approach it head on but approach it rationally. Just sit down with him as an adult and ask him what's going wrong. Make sure he knows you've got his back. And make damn sure he knows you won't if it happens like this again.

I dunno, maybe I'm a pussy here. But I really think my first thought if my boy took money from me would be worry. It's not like if I had some drinkin' buddy come steal, that's grounds for a beating. This is my boy - That'd be like having my sibling or my parents steal from me. My first concern would be how to help out a person very close to me while letting him know that there's a trapdoor here. I'll help once now that I know how dire this is, but it will not happen again...

Good luck man.

Yeah.
I imagine this would be my thoughts on it, as well.



Sent from my Cuisinart using Tapatalk

Otter
12-20-2010, 05:57 PM
I'd give him 24 hours to bring up the fact that he borrowed your cash without permission. If he doesn't bring it up I'd grab him by the throat and tell him "I want my Goddamn money back right ****ing now before I cut you up into fishbait". Then I'd pull the chainsaw out from under the bed and fire it up.

Helpful hint: Make sure the chainsaw will start right away. It doesn't cause the desired reaction when they stand there and watch you pull the cord for 5 minutes .

Heh, this guy knows me, well. and knows it's not gonna just go away. I'm just starting to absorb that this actually happened.

I'm going to sleep on it and try to figure out what he was thinking. I'm literally disgusted right now. I've been though rough times and would never go this route. I mean if Hootie had $5 in the drawer and I was some random asshole maybe. Not right, but I can see the logic.

We'll see.

REDHOTGTO
12-20-2010, 06:08 PM
if it was me? i would keep a friendship alive, remember it and dont leave the temptation around again. he must have really needed it to steal it so chalk it up to experience and be the bigger man.
i keep my stash where my wife cant even find it you probably should to, and it wont happen again. the trust wont come back easy but later on you'll forgive & forget and still have the friend.

Der Flöprer
12-20-2010, 06:08 PM
Heh, this guy knows me, well. and knows it's not gonna just go away. I'm just starting to absorb that this actually happened.

I'm going to sleep on it and try to figure out what he was thinking. I'm literally disgusted right now. I've been though rough times and would never go this route. I mean if Hootie had $5 in the drawer and I was some random asshole maybe. Not right, but I can see the logic.

We'll see.

I'm not challenging you here, truly, but I want you to look at this from the other side of the gambit. What level of desperation would have to set in for you to do something like this to such a good friend? Think long and hard before you say "Nothing. Ever." Most of us have a point where we would lose all rational thought and go into survival mode. Some much higher than others, so in no way am I justifying what this dude did. Quite the contrary actually. But just how bad is it for him right now? Does he have a family that is on the verge of starving?

If not, then by all means, kick the shit out of him. But if that's the case, again, no offense, you're a poor judgment of character to be so tight, for so long with a piece of shit.

Jenson71
12-20-2010, 06:09 PM
Bitch slap.

Der Flöprer
12-20-2010, 06:09 PM
I'm not challenging you here, truly, but I want you to look at this from the other side of the gambit. What level of desperation would have to set in for you to do something like this to such a good friend? Think long and hard before you say "Nothing. Ever." Most of us have a point where we would lose all rational thought and go into survival mode. Some much higher than others, so in no way am I justifying what this dude did. Quite the contrary actually. But just how bad is it for him right now? Does he have a family that is on the verge of starving?

If not, then by all means, kick the shit out of him. But if that's the case, again, no offense, you're a poor judgment of character to be so tight, for so long with a piece of shit.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I think you're a good dude. Therefore, I think you associate with good dudes. That tends to be the model, after all. Birds of a feather and all that jazz. This guy must be going through some serious, serious, shit to do something like this.

Saul Good
12-20-2010, 06:10 PM
Heh, this guy knows me, well. and knows it's not gonna just go away. I'm just starting to absorb that this actually happened.

I'm going to sleep on it and try to figure out what he was thinking. I'm literally disgusted right now. I've been though rough times and would never go this route. I mean if Hootie had $5 in the drawer and I was some random asshole maybe. Not right, but I can see the logic.

We'll see.

As bad as it sucks, you've got to be straightforward with him. This was a MASSIVE f***up, but it sounds like he's probably earned ONE get out of jail free if he will completely level with you. The guy sounds desperate. Maybe he's scared that he's about to lose his kids and needs to pay a lawyer or something. Nothing will make it right, but you owe it to yourself to have the discussion.

Shogun
12-20-2010, 06:12 PM
Make him work it off. Not worth losing a good friend over.

Jenson71
12-20-2010, 06:14 PM
Just do what Deniro would do. What would Deniro do? He would take walk up to the guy, punch him in the face, slam his hand in a car door, yell "You need money? You fucking need money, you fuck? Here's some fucking money, you miserable fucking prick!" and throw a few twenties at his feet. Then walk away.

DeezNutz
12-20-2010, 06:26 PM
What not to do:

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/epEaNNBMcmo?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/epEaNNBMcmo?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

Dave Lane
12-20-2010, 06:51 PM
One of my oldest friends came down for the weekend who's been having a bad run of luck with divorce and money and the whole shitty economy in general. I've had $300 dollars in cash in the same spot forever, it's just cash on hand money that I keep in the house and it's gone.

I was roommates in college with this guy and known him since I was 10 years old. He already owns my $1300 and I think he just stole off me.

Can't even describe how I feel right now. I trusted this guy, he would have been the best man in my wedding if I got married next week. I feel like my Mom just called me ugly, I'm freaking heartbroken. How would you approach this? How do you even bring this up?

Jesus, I hope I'm wrong but I really don't know how I can be unless the money grew legs and walked away.

Be lucky thats all it took to find out. It sucks but I just had a similar deal for about $50K it sucks.

Bane
12-20-2010, 07:08 PM
http://i53.tinypic.com/k1b1t.gif

Over-Head
12-20-2010, 07:13 PM
went through two trust betrayels between May and Oct this year.
Hurts like hell, cost me a bit.
Oh well life goes on.

Over-Head
12-20-2010, 07:14 PM
Just do what Deniro would do. What would Deniro do? He would take walk up to the guy, punch him in the face, slam his hand in a car door, yell "You need money? You ****ing need money, you ****? Here's some ****ing money, you miserable ****ing prick!" and throw a few twenties at his feet. Then walk away.
...then walk away and let Joe Pescie (sp) at him like in Casino :evil:

Bane
12-20-2010, 07:16 PM
I hate thieving motherfuckers,and it's only worse when it's a good friend or someone close to you but that's how they "get ya" I guess.

Frazod
12-20-2010, 07:24 PM
Desperate people do desperate things. Not excusing it, but if this guy is as good a friend as you say, he's probably feeling 1,000 times worse than you are.

I'm trying to imagine how I would react if my best friend did this, somebody I've known for 30 years who I'm closer to than anybody of my blood relatives. It would suck, and I'd be hurt, and pissed, and I damn sure would be careful in the future, but in the grand scheme of things, $300 isn't all that much money compared to a life-long friendship (I'm assuming that a $300 hit isn't going to nuke you financially).

I think you should wait and see what happens. If he's so far gone that he'd steal from you without remorse, he may be gone enough that a confrontation over it might not be advisable. Call it a $300 life lesson. If he's feeling like shit over it, you'll probably get the money back when he's able.

Just a thought.

tmax63
12-20-2010, 07:27 PM
I've seen some good advice on here reading thru this thread so I'll throw my 2 cents worth in as well. As MO said, sleep on it, make a decision, and turn off all emotion and follow through. If he was your "boy" then I agree with looking at it from his perspective and trying to understand what caused it but that doesn't excuse it. Trust has been broken, it can't be fully mended. Do what you and only you gotta do.

booger
12-20-2010, 07:42 PM
To me the hardest part would be how to get it out in the open and start it off but the advice on why did you take it not did you take it is pretty solid advice to me.

Otherwise the rest is easier, i think. I hate thieves and i hate liars. Most do and i'm sure you do as well. I would ask specific questions in a firm direct matter and expect straight out honest answers.

Just what specifically did he spend the money on? (or need it for)

Was it related to the divorce? Christmas presents for the kids? Drugs or alcohol? Gas money to work or groceries or bills? I would want to know exactly made him think taking the money was ok.

Also why was this the option he took? I agree with the rest that it sounds like he may be desperate. But if i read your opening post right that he already owes you 1300 not counting the 300 he just stole....... that would obviously make it worse or it would tell you just how desperate he really is. Be specific and find out why he took it with out asking and why screw over what sounds like is his not only longtime but best friend.

After he (hopefully) explains the situation you either find out that at worst he is someone you no longer want anything to do with or you might understand why he stupidly broke your trust. Who knows, maybe he really hit rock bottom with his luck and this exposes a bigger problem. I get the fact that divorces are really messy and nasty. Also take note that depending on the situation maybe he just flat out sucks at managing his money or wasn't the one who did take care of those things in the marriage. Change sucks and sometimes people deal with it poorly.

Assuming it is something you can forgive, i would sit him down and make two copies of a repayment agreement and both of you sign each copy. Just like a bill of sale. At that point he should at least feel better about knowing how he is paying you back.

You need to re-evaluate this friendship and find out if he is a good person who just did a really stupid, backstabbing thing or if he showed a side or became a real dumbass.

Really sucks to hear this man. Good luck :thumb:

Baconeater
12-20-2010, 08:57 PM
I can't even believe some of you are giving this guy shit because he had $300 cash in his OWN FUCKING HOUSE.

ChiefsNow
12-20-2010, 09:40 PM
Simply let him read this post and tell him that this just happened to you. And say "what a coincedence". He probably doesn't know you posted it, does He? Then watch his reactions.

KCBOSS1
12-20-2010, 10:30 PM
I would plant money in the same spot again and invite him over....or another "convenient" place similar. I'd set him up, then confront him. Or I might just ask him point blank as kindly as possible. That's brutal though.

Buehler445
12-20-2010, 10:59 PM
swallow it down and be stone cold about it. Its the only way.

Fuck dude. Rough.

I've got 4 or 5 guys that I would give a shot to validate themselves. Everybody else is friendship over. I'd like to think I'd take the high road and eliminate the dude from my life. I REALLY hate it when people steal shit form me. I mean REALLY. It would be tough for me to keep my composure.

However, if this is your good friend, give him a shot. If he's not the guy, ask for it back and tell him to GTFO,

BigChiefFan
12-20-2010, 11:09 PM
You have to confront him, just so he knows not to attempt to do it again.

There's nothing worse than a liar and a thief. If he really was a good friend, he wouldn't have done it.

LiveSteam
12-21-2010, 12:46 AM
One of my oldest friends
Nope. Brother from another mother never steal ca$$ from you. never ever.
They borrow tools & stuff ,don't bring it back. Or they break it. But they dont take cash hidden in your house.
Sorry man, sucks. Their is no perfect way to confront him. But ya have to man up & do it.
If your passive about it? He will probably lie & say he didn't do it. & hope you don't bring it up again,since your being passive,mellow ect.

If I was a million % sure he did it?? I would be all up in his grill about it. Then be done with him forever. fool me once? shame on you? fool me twice? No thanks Tumbalweed

johnny961
12-21-2010, 01:41 AM
Damn man this sucks. Especially since it involved a pretty much life long friend. In my mind, trust is something that can be rebuilt over time, if it involves a close friend or loved one. But for trust to be mended, the person who wronged me has to do three things. First, they must acknowledge the wrongdoing. Second, the person who wronged me must make an honest attempt to make the situation right, and last, that individual must demonstrate over time that this sort of behavior will not happen again. All this being said, first I would analyze the situation carefully before making any irrational moves. The money is obviously gone. I would ask myself questions like when was the last time I noticed it there? Would the cash have been moved for any reason other than theft? Did ANYONE(family included) have access to this money? Then, after questioning myself and I was damn sure in my own mind that my friend taking it was the only possible way it could be missing, Then I would confront them. Not in a beligerant tone but question them directly, like I had money in my drawer, now its gone, do you know anything about this? Some may disagree with this, but it would give my friend the chance to acknowledge the f**kup which is a start in rebuilding trust. If they deny it cut the conversation short and move on. I would give them the silent treatment and let my silence do the talking. If the person is truly a friend they will know somethings obviously wrong by my actions and may acknowledge the situation later after pondering it awhile. Some may scoff at my nonviolent approach but in my mind $300 isn't worth causing irreversible damage to the friendship over and possibly going to jail. Not to mention that walking away proves whos the bigger man. All this assumes the person is someone I really value as a friend though and that I really do want to salvage the friendship if at all possible. If this is not the case then this rant is out the window. Just my .02.

TinyEvel
12-21-2010, 02:11 AM
Sorry you're in this situation. It has to feel terrible to be violated (potentially) by a friend. I had this exact same thing happen to me when I was 21 by a neighbor friend I knew since I was 3. But he hammered a hole in my door to get in, so I had to replace the door as well as lose the money. There was no question who did it, since he left town that day.

First, are you sure he took the money? Did he know where it was? When was the last time you saw it? Who else knows where it is?

Second: where is he now and what is he doing? Did he suddenly get a hotel room or is he drunk or high or seen with a "loose" woman?

Third: Does he need help? Recent job and divorce problems indicate he might be self-medicating his woes and/or just need financial sustenance. Not that it makes it right for him to steal from you, but if you've really known him so long and he's a good friend, maybe he just needs someone to help him out. He already owes you over a grand so perhaps he does need help. Ask him point blank if he needs drug or depression assistance. I'd try to forgive him, get him to stand on his feet and then let him figure his own form of payback.
I've been wronged many times in my life by strangers and people as close as my own brother. In my experience it has never paid to harbor anger, hatred or resentment.

just my opinion.

TE

Earthling
12-21-2010, 02:19 AM
I can't even believe some of you are giving this guy shit because he had $300 cash in his OWN ****ING HOUSE.

Exactly my thought. Like its partly Otters fault for not having it secured in a bank or something. Thats bullshit to put it politely. I had a very good friend that took me for a couple hundred and I thought it was a cheap price to pay to learn where his heart was. I told him he was no longer allowed in my life or in my home. Thats hard to do sometimes but i never have looked back on that.

Pawnmower
12-21-2010, 02:21 AM
That sucks man....I feel for you. Same thing has happened to me on two different occasions...There really isn't a right answer. The shittiest part is that unless he admits it, you'll never be 100% it was him, you just have to go with what you believe. If you truly think it was him, you cant trust him in your house any more.

In my case, I point blank asked both of my friends (two different friends, years apart). Neither of them admitted it. I am as sure as you are that they both did it....But our friendships have never been the same since....It sucks...One of them was over ALOT less than 300$ (like less than 20bucks, I wouldve given it to him if hed asked) and the other was more....I am sorry man...

johnny961
12-21-2010, 02:34 AM
I can't even believe some of you are giving this guy shit because he had $300 cash in his OWN ****ING HOUSE.

My thoughts exactly. It never hurts to keep a little extra cash around for emergencies, and $300 isn't an outrageous sum of money, either. I wouldn't want to keep a large amount of cash on hand due to this exact sort of thing but to me $300 doesn't exactly represent a huge amount of cash.

Oh Snap
12-21-2010, 02:41 AM
next time you talk to him, tell him how you lost some $$$....and you dont know where it went... You dont have to accuse him of taking it. Maybe he will fess up, however, if he doesnt...let it build and eat at his conscious. Then again, there is the possibility that he didnt steal it (even though it seems rather unlikely).

Id just bring it up to him...about how I somehow lost $300 and dont know where it went.

Bob Dole
12-21-2010, 06:57 AM
I can't even believe some of you are giving this guy shit because he had $300 cash in his OWN FUCKING HOUSE.

Oddly enough, a conversation about keeping cash on-hand came up last night.

Especially if you have a job where you come in contact with the general public on a daily basis, it's pretty easy over the course of a year to triple (or more) the $500 you carry around in your pocket. It's shocking how many people live paycheck to paycheck and will sell shit for pennies on the dollar, if you just happen to have the cash in your pocket to buy it from them before it hits the pawn shop. Bob Dole bought 5, $80 pool cues from a guy a month ago for $40 and had $200 in his pocket 4 hours later.

Saulbadguy
12-21-2010, 07:40 AM
I can't even believe some of you are giving this guy shit because he had $300 cash in his OWN FUCKING HOUSE.

I wouldn't keep $300 anywhere but a bank. That's just too much risk simply laying around. I don't think i'd even feel comfortable with it in a safe.

InChiefsHell
12-21-2010, 07:45 AM
I wouldn't keep $300 anywhere but a bank. That's just too much risk simply laying around. I don't think i'd even feel comfortable with it in a safe.

It's an old fashioned mind set that you should always have some cash on hand, stowed away somewhere, because you never know when you'll need it and won't have time to go to a bank or whatever.

I have cash stowed in my house, but not 300.00 worth. But I don't think 300 bucks is out of line, as long as it's stowed in a good place. Maybe Otter just didn't have a good spot...

Norman Einstein
12-21-2010, 07:57 AM
I wouldn't keep $300 anywhere but a bank. That's just too much risk simply laying around. I don't think i'd even feel comfortable with it in a safe.

There are people that carry upwards of $500 with them at any time. It's not unreasonable to have an emergency cash fund available at the house. I have ready access to ATM's so I don't feel the need to carry more than $50 for disposable change.

Otter trusts his friends, or did until now, and didn't have a reason to get his stack hidden.

The problem he has now doesn't revolve around having the money around it's how to address the situation with his (possibly former) friend.

Like someone said, once that bubble of trust is broken it's virtually impossible to get it back. Otter has a situation that nobody really wants to face, I've not faced it so it's hard to give advice. I wish him luck in finding a solution he can live with.

Saulbadguy
12-21-2010, 08:04 AM
I'm really straining here to think of an emergency in which i'd need a few hundred dollars in cash. Perhaps someone breaking in to my house at gunpoint demanding that amount of money?

Norman Einstein
12-21-2010, 08:11 AM
I'm really straining here to think of an emergency in which i'd need a few hundred dollars in cash. Perhaps someone breaking in to my house at gunpoint demanding that amount of money?

Think outside the box.

Saulbadguy
12-21-2010, 08:53 AM
Think outside the box.

Are you suggesting the Antichrist?

MOhillbilly
12-21-2010, 09:05 AM
I know a dude that carries 1500 on him at all times.

Hog Farmer
12-21-2010, 09:08 AM
Lots of bad advice on here.

Just kill him.

Hog Farmer
12-21-2010, 09:10 AM
I'm really straining here to think of an emergency in which i'd need a few hundred dollars in cash. Perhaps someone breaking in to my house at gunpoint demanding that amount of money?

What if Miss Brazil, Miss USA and Miss Universe came to you and said we want to all fuck you but you have to pay us $300 RIGHT NOW ????

burt
12-21-2010, 09:11 AM
Thereare MANY places in Fl. that won't accept plastic any more.

Bane
12-21-2010, 09:11 AM
I know a dude that carries 1500 on him at all times.

Well according to some of these dumb sumbitches if he gets robbed or stole from it's his fault for not being a broke dick mother****er with lint in his pockets.

Norman Einstein
12-21-2010, 09:11 AM
Are you suggesting the Antichrist?

I'm suggesting what ever you want to read into it. I'm not sure which box you are thinking in to come up with that response but you might want to change boxes before you think outside of it.

Norman Einstein
12-21-2010, 09:13 AM
What if Miss Brazil, Miss USA and Miss Universe came to you and said we want to all **** you but you have to pay us $300 RIGHT NOW ????

That would be cool, but I'm pretty sure that isn't going to happen here in Piddle Puddle USA.

Maybe we should all hang out with Hog Farmer so we can get some of that action.

Norman Einstein
12-21-2010, 09:14 AM
I know a dude that carries 1500 on him at all times.

Me too. I carry it in my money belt. ROFL

Groves
12-21-2010, 09:23 AM
Me too. I carry it in my money belt. ROFL

Should have gone for the "Brief Safe".

http://wklondon.typepad.com/welcome_to_optimism/images/brief_safe.jpg

Norman Einstein
12-21-2010, 09:24 AM
Should have gone for the "Brief Safe".

http://wklondon.ism/images/brief_safe.jpg

ummmmmm NO! The money belt works fine, it doubles as my concealed carry holster as well.

Groves
12-21-2010, 09:29 AM
it doubles as my concealed carry holster as well.

That sounds like a delightfully speedy system in which to deploy a weapon.

jidar
12-21-2010, 09:33 AM
I agree with everybody else. It's your fault that you left money in your own house. You should have invested that $300 in a safe that will hide between the floor joists.

The advice about confronting him about why he took your money instead of giving him an opportunity to deny it was good.

No its not his fault.
This blame the victim mentality that some people have is a real personality flaw.

Norman Einstein
12-21-2010, 09:37 AM
That sounds like a delightfully speedy system in which to deploy a weapon.

"Give me your money!"

How about one of my 9mm rounds instead?

Saulbadguy
12-21-2010, 10:04 AM
Thereare MANY places in Fl. that won't accept plastic any more.

I don't have a problem with that. There are a few restaurants around here that don't take plastic, I just grab some cash from the bank before I go. No need to store cash at the house for this.

Phobia
12-21-2010, 10:04 AM
I wouldn't keep $300 anywhere but a bank. That's just too much risk simply laying around. I don't think i'd even feel comfortable with it in a safe.

There are some extenuating circumstances regarding your psyche, though.

Saulbadguy
12-21-2010, 10:05 AM
No its not his fault.
This blame the victim mentality that some people have is a real personality flaw.

I don't blame the victim here. I am just curious why anyone would keep that amount of cash hidden in their house.

Saulbadguy
12-21-2010, 10:06 AM
There are some extenuating circumstances regarding your psyche, though.

That's true.

TinyEvel
12-21-2010, 10:07 AM
I wouldn't keep $300 anywhere but a bank. That's just too much risk simply laying around. I don't think i'd even feel comfortable with it in a safe.

Pffft! Dane McCloud keeps $300 on hand at all times, for valet tipping purposes.

Fairplay
12-21-2010, 10:17 AM
$1300 to place on Lucky Dan in the third race at Belmont.

Groves
12-21-2010, 11:00 AM
"Give me your money!"

How about one of my 9mm rounds instead?

Ah, all slow and sneaky-like.

I thought it was more of a "Hey, he's suddenly beating up my girlfriend and dragging her away, but he'll think differently after only 3 more small zippers"

Der Flöprer
12-21-2010, 11:05 AM
Sorry you're in this situation. It has to feel terrible to be violated (potentially) by a friend. I had this exact same thing happen to me when I was 21 by a neighbor friend I knew since I was 3. But he hammered a hole in my door to get in, so I had to replace the door as well as lose the money. There was no question who did it, since he left town that day.

First, are you sure he took the money? Did he know where it was? When was the last time you saw it? Who else knows where it is?

Second: where is he now and what is he doing? Did he suddenly get a hotel room or is he drunk or high or seen with a "loose" woman?

Third: Does he need help? Recent job and divorce problems indicate he might be self-medicating his woes and/or just need financial sustenance. Not that it makes it right for him to steal from you, but if you've really known him so long and he's a good friend, maybe he just needs someone to help him out. He already owes you over a grand so perhaps he does need help. Ask him point blank if he needs drug or depression assistance. I'd try to forgive him, get him to stand on his feet and then let him figure his own form of payback.
I've been wronged many times in my life by strangers and people as close as my own brother. In my experience it has never paid to harbor anger, hatred or resentment.

just my opinion.

TE

Great, great, post.

Der Flöprer
12-21-2010, 11:07 AM
I'm not a wealthy guy, far from it. But $300 isn't that much money, to have laying around the house.

Baconeater
12-21-2010, 12:43 PM
I wouldn't keep $300 anywhere but a bank. That's just too much risk simply laying around. I don't think i'd even feel comfortable with it in a safe.
Risk? Where the hell do you live that it's risky to keep $300 in your house? Personally, I despise banks and I try to avoid using them if at all possible. Plus I'm a bit of a paranoid freak and I like the anonymity of using cash.

Saulbadguy
12-21-2010, 12:54 PM
Risk? Where the hell do you live that it's risky to keep $300 in your house? Personally, I despise banks and I try to avoid using them if at all possible. Plus I'm a bit of a paranoid freak and I like the anonymity of using cash.

Compared to leaving it the bank, having $300 in cash with no intent to spend it is risky and, in my opinion, foolish.

But, if you are a paranoid freak and despise banks, I guess it makes sense to you.

Valiant
12-21-2010, 12:56 PM
One of my oldest friends came down for the weekend who's been having a bad run of luck with divorce and money and the whole shitty economy in general. I've had $300 dollars in cash in the same spot forever, it's just cash on hand money that I keep in the house and it's gone.

I was roommates in college with this guy and known him since I was 10 years old. He already owns my $1300 and I think he just stole off me.

Can't even describe how I feel right now. I trusted this guy, he would have been the best man in my wedding if I got married next week. I feel like my Mom just called me ugly, I'm freaking heartbroken. How would you approach this? How do you even bring this up?

Jesus, I hope I'm wrong but I really don't know how I can be unless the money grew legs and walked away.

If you got married? Was thata hypothetical or are you? I would ask the girlfriend first.
Then if she says no, do what others have said and ask him why he did it. But only if your sure it had to be him. Ie no kids, girls kids.

Valiant
12-21-2010, 01:02 PM
Compared to leaving it the bank, having $300 in cash with no intent to spend it is risky and, in my opinion, foolish.

But, if you are a paranoid freak and despise banks, I guess it makes sense to you.

Well a lot of banks are going back to fee based accounts from the card act. So unless you have a couple grand in the account or direct deposits it would be be more cost effective to keep the cash at home.

True though that he should have a safe. But I can't not fault anyone leaving money hid in their own home.

Baconeater
12-21-2010, 01:03 PM
Compared to leaving it the bank, having $300 in cash with no intent to spend it is risky and, in my opinion, foolish.

But, if you are a paranoid freak and despise banks, I guess it makes sense to you.
I just don't see it as risky at all, I've never had issues with keeping cash around the house. Occasionally I get paid cash for jobs and if I don't need the money to pay bills, I don't deposit it. Why should I let the bank use my money for free?

vailpass
12-21-2010, 01:08 PM
No its not his fault.
This blame the victim mentality that some people have is a real personality flaw.

X100

Saulbadguy
12-21-2010, 01:12 PM
I just don't see it as risky at all, I've never had issues with keeping cash around the house. Occasionally I get paid cash for jobs and if I don't need the money to pay bills, I don't deposit it. Why should I let the bank use my money for free?

I've never had issues keeping cash in the bank, either.

However, what is more likely, you losing the cash or me losing my money in the bank? That's the way I view it.

When I was a teenager, my brother had $200 laying around his room, and I had some friends over, a couple that I didn't know very well. His $200 was gone but I had no one to blame, so I had to give him $200 (alot for a teenager those days). I was pretty pissed off at him for not having it in the bank, even though it was my fault for having a couple degenerates over.

I've always believed in not carrying/storing large amounts of cash on you unless you intend to spend it, because anything can happen. So far no one has brought up any sort of possibility that would make me think you'd need "cash on hand" for an emergency. Perhaps ransom money?

Phobia
12-21-2010, 01:12 PM
No its not his fault.
This blame the victim mentality that some people have is a real personality flaw.

Yeah, that post had a little sarcasm dripping on the floor.

DeezNutz
12-21-2010, 01:12 PM
Compared to leaving it the bank, having $300 in cash with no intent to spend it is risky and, in my opinion, foolish.

But, if you are a paranoid freak and despise banks, I guess it makes sense to you.

Why are you so paranoid about having cash on hand?

DeezNutz
12-21-2010, 01:14 PM
It's nice to have some cash if you're driving/traveling. If the car breaks down in the sticks, I want to be able to pay the Mayberry tow truck, as I'm doubting that a check card will fit the bill.

Phobia
12-21-2010, 01:15 PM
Compared to leaving it the bank, having $300 in cash with no intent to spend it is risky and, in my opinion, foolish.

But, if you are a paranoid freak and despise banks, I guess it makes sense to you.

Heh. I have about 20x that sitting in my house. But I also have shotguns and blunt objects too. I really prefer to use a baseball bat in home defense. There's always less blood and drywall work afterward.

Saulbadguy
12-21-2010, 01:15 PM
Why are you so paranoid about having cash on hand?

I feel that particular paranoia is more justified than the paranoia about having some sort of made up "need" to keep cash on hand. :D

Saulbadguy
12-21-2010, 01:16 PM
It's nice to have some cash if you're driving/traveling. If the car breaks down in the sticks, I want to be able to pay the Mayberry tow truck, as I'm doubting that a check card will fit the bill.

I agree with that. I've always got cash when traveling. I don't keep it buried in my back yard or hidden in a wall, though.

Saulbadguy
12-21-2010, 01:18 PM
Heh. I have about 20x that sitting in my house. But I also have shotguns and blunt objects too. I really prefer to use a baseball bat in home defense. There's always less blood and drywall work afterward.

Just slightly more liquid than keeping it in the bank, plus it's not gaining any interest. :p

Norman Einstein
12-21-2010, 01:21 PM
Ah, all slow and sneaky-like.

I thought it was more of a "Hey, he's suddenly beating up my girlfriend and dragging her away, but he'll think differently after only 3 more small zippers"

I trust I'll never have to use the 9mm. I'd probably shoot my dick off trying to get it out of the cell phone holster I have.

Baconeater
12-21-2010, 01:28 PM
I've never had issues keeping cash in the bank, either.

However, what is more likely, you losing the cash or me losing my money in the bank? That's the way I view it.

When I was a teenager, my brother had $200 laying around his room, and I had some friends over, a couple that I didn't know very well. His $200 was gone but I had no one to blame, so I had to give him $200 (alot for a teenager those days). I was pretty pissed off at him for not having it in the bank, even though it was my fault for having a couple degenerates over.

I've always believed in not carrying/storing large amounts of cash on you unless you intend to spend it, because anything can happen. So far no one has brought up any sort of possibility that would make me think you'd need "cash on hand" for an emergency. Perhaps ransom money?
Bail money? :D

Frankly, if your brother just had it "laying around" as in right out in the open, then I'd say he's as much at fault as anyone else. That is foolish. I guess the OP wasn't real specific as to where the money was hidden, if it was at all.

Saulbadguy
12-21-2010, 01:30 PM
Bail money? :D

Frankly, if your brother just had it "laying around" as in right out in the open, then I'd say he's as much at fault as anyone else. That is foolish. I guess the OP wasn't real specific as to where the money was hidden, if it was at all.

Yeah, we are way OT at this point.

Phobia
12-21-2010, 01:45 PM
Just slightly more liquid than keeping it in the bank, plus it's not gaining any interest. :p

Yeah, that .9% is gonna help me this month. It will be spent by Feb 15th anyway.

Iowanian
12-21-2010, 03:53 PM
I'd give the shirt off of my back to help a friend, but of all people, my true friends know better than to ever steal from me. trust is the fundamental building block of any relationship, without it, there is no need for that relationship. One of my best friends got into meth, including making and selling. After trying to help him for a couple of years, I cut him loose for nearly 10 years and once he cleaned his shit up, I have slowly brought him back into my life...and more recently after the death of our other best friend, we've become close again.


It sounds to me like you've gone out of your way to be there for him,and he stuck his thumb in your butt for the thank you note. Cut him loose.

Otter
12-22-2010, 09:49 PM
Well, I didn't do a thing or say a word. I still can't believe this happened, thought I managed to get people out of my life where I had to worry about this kind of stuff a long time ago let alone someone who you would give the keys to your house and truck.

If I could prove it or had it on tape I would approach him but I don't and I couldn't take being lied to by him at this point. I know what happened and hopefully it will work itself out someday.

So that's pretty much it, thanks for the advice and hope ya'll have a Merry Christmas.

Phobia
12-23-2010, 02:35 AM
If I could prove it

I think you proved it within this thread but now you're afraid of the conflict. That's not unusual but I hope you're not in denial about the dude. He's not your friend. Not any more he's not.

big nasty kcnut
12-23-2010, 03:47 AM
I wouldn't want him as a friend shit half my mom side of my family i don't keep in contact anymore cause they stole from me and lie about it. Otter your my friend you have to stand up to him and demand your money back don't be like me and not get back your stuff. Also if any of you guys want to call me ask guys i'm not a scary dude.

Otter
12-23-2010, 08:19 AM
I think you proved it within this thread but now you're afraid of the conflict. That's not unusual but I hope you're not in denial about the dude. He's not your friend. Not any more he's not.

It's kind of a trifecta of the time of year, I don't want to address it over the phone (he lives 70 miles from me) and I'm worried about how far this guy has fallen and what he's gotten himself into to even do something like this. Don't think I'm scared to address it as much as I just don't know how to right now. If it were some random person or if this person was just a bad apple his whole life it would be much easier.

The more I'm hearing about what's going on it's almost looking like an intervention is in order. It's complicated and the good part of the friendship is over. I realize that.

InChiefsHell
12-23-2010, 08:34 AM
It's kind of a trifecta of the time of year, I don't want to address it over the phone (he lives 70 miles from me) and I'm worried about how far this guy has fallen and what he's gotten himself into to even do something like this. Don't think I'm scared to address it as much as I just don't know how to right now. If it were some random person or if this person was just a bad apple his whole life it would be much easier.

The more I'm hearing about what's going on it's almost looking like an intervention is in order. It's complicated and the good part of the friendship is over. I realize that.

Exactly. This guy at least at one time I'm assuming would NOT have done something like this, and so your friend has fallen into a bad bad place. Good luck man, it's just not as cut and dry as it might seem.

Rausch
12-23-2010, 08:35 AM
I'd give the shirt off of my back to help a friend, but of all people, my true friends know better than to ever steal from me. trust is the fundamental building block of any relationship, without it, there is no need for that relationship. One of my best friends got into meth, including making and selling. After trying to help him for a couple of years, I cut him loose for nearly 10 years and once he cleaned his shit up, I have slowly brought him back into my life...and more recently after the death of our other best friend, we've become close again.


It sounds to me like you've gone out of your way to be there for him,and he stuck his thumb in your butt for the thank you note. Cut him loose.

Yup.

There's always the chance that losing you as a friend will help the guy wake up/see what he's doing.

If he's a real man he'll own up some day and apologize...

MOhillbilly
12-23-2010, 08:51 AM
The more I'm hearing about what's going on it's almost looking like an intervention is in order. It's complicated and the good part of the friendship is over. I realize that.

If youre thinkin it you need to pull the trigger.

jmo.

MOhillbilly
12-23-2010, 08:52 AM
Yup.

There's always the chance that losing you as a friend will help the guy wake up/see what he's doing.

If he's a real man he'll own up some day and apologize...

how the fuck does a real man steal 300 from a brother? The shame alone will be enough to keep him away.

Rausch
12-23-2010, 08:55 AM
how the **** does a real man steal 300 from a brother? The shame alone will be enough to keep him away.

I never did that but I did spend an evening with a buddy's long term g/f the night after they broke up.

Pretty shady, $3itty thing to do.

If you fuck up and that person really is a friend you own up and hope they're a better person than you were...

MOhillbilly
12-23-2010, 09:06 AM
I would never cross my brothers.

Dont wanna be average.

J Diddy
12-23-2010, 09:11 AM
I would never cross my brothers.

Dont wanna be average.



I would think that train of thought is way above average.