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View Full Version : Life My Face May Fall Off... Need the Help of CPs Refined Gentlemen


Buehler445
12-22-2010, 12:05 AM
I work outside quite a bit. It's dry as balls out here. It's windy and cold. My face is very dry and chapped. I need to identify a product to moisturize my face.

I've tried hand-lotion types - Fail
I've tried aquaphyllic ointment - While it works REALLY well for the rest of my body, Face Fail (Link (http://www.ncaircompressors.com/Images/Gas%20Powered/PUK8008GE.jpg))
I tried a product my wife has used in the past - Fail
I tried to find something a few years ago and all I came up with was after-shave type shit. Fail

I seek the help of the CP men who care for their faces. What can I do to moisturize my face?

Pushead2
12-22-2010, 12:14 AM
Semen or Antifreeze

Guru
12-22-2010, 12:17 AM
:facepalm:

Jenson71
12-22-2010, 12:26 AM
When I think of face moisturizers, I think of Donger. So he might be able to help you out.

DA_T_84
12-22-2010, 12:28 AM
Frozen AntiSemen

cdcox
12-22-2010, 12:29 AM
Step 1. Grow a beard.

Step 2. Eat enough BBQ to keep your beard nice and greasy.

Step 3. Repeat step 2.

BigRock
12-22-2010, 12:31 AM
The icon on this thread should be a ball sitting on a tee.

Silock
12-22-2010, 12:47 AM
Eucerin

Wally1219
12-22-2010, 12:51 AM
Calendula. Stuff is perfect for what you need.

Phobia
12-22-2010, 02:00 AM
You got me, dude. I don't think I ever put anything on my face.

teedubya
12-22-2010, 02:07 AM
I begin with a water-activated gel cleanser, then a honey-almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Vidal Sasson shampoo is especially good at getting rid of the coating of dried perspiration, salts, oils, airborne pollutants and dirt that can weigh hair down and flatten it to the scalp, making you look older.

Before shaving, I always press a hot towel against my face for two minutes to soften abrasive beard hair. Then I slather on a moisturizer and let it soak in for a minute. You can rinse it off or keep it on and apply shaving cream over it -- preferably with a brush, which softens the beard as it lifts the whiskers, making hair removal easier.

Rinse the razor and shake off any excess water before starting. Afterwards splash cool water on the face to remove any trace of lather. You should use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol. Never, ever use cologne on your face since the alcohol content will dry your skin out and make you look older.

Applying a moisturizer is the final step. If the face seems dry and flaky -- which can make it look dull and older -- use a clarifying lotion that removes flakes and uncovers fine skin. Then apply anti-aging eye balm.

nstygma
12-22-2010, 02:47 AM
my grandmother made similar stuff to this and its actually pretty good
http://haikuoftheid.blogspot.com/2006/01/homemade-lotion-recipe.html
read the comments and experiment

crazycoffey
12-22-2010, 02:54 AM
eat more pussy, it helps.....

Crush
12-22-2010, 05:13 AM
Water

Fritz88
12-22-2010, 05:34 AM
Try VICHY products.
Posted via Mobile Device

InChiefsHell
12-22-2010, 05:45 AM
Bear fat...rubbed all over your face...that's how the Indians used to do it...and they hunted all nekid and stuff...

Bwana
12-22-2010, 06:18 AM
Paging Hog Farmer........

http://www.dirtybutton.com/media/db2624-big-balls.jpg

bevischief
12-22-2010, 06:32 AM
Paging Hog Farmer........

http://www.dirtybutton.com/media/db2624-big-balls.jpg

ROFL

JD10367
12-22-2010, 07:50 AM
Damn! Look at those pig nuts! If the pump is as big as the spray bottle, there must be some happy smiling female pigs in that pen. :hump: "Squeal for me!"

NewChief
12-22-2010, 08:09 AM
Eucerin

This. Also Kiehl's makes some great products for hands at least.

Sofa King
12-22-2010, 08:22 AM
I begin with a water-activated gel cleanser, then a honey-almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Vidal Sasson shampoo is especially good at getting rid of the coating of dried perspiration, salts, oils, airborne pollutants and dirt that can weigh hair down and flatten it to the scalp, making you look older.

Before shaving, I always press a hot towel against my face for two minutes to soften abrasive beard hair. Then I slather on a moisturizer and let it soak in for a minute. You can rinse it off or keep it on and apply shaving cream over it -- preferably with a brush, which softens the beard as it lifts the whiskers, making hair removal easier.

Rinse the razor and shake off any excess water before starting. Afterwards splash cool water on the face to remove any trace of lather. You should use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol. Never, ever use cologne on your face since the alcohol content will dry your skin out and make you look older.

Applying a moisturizer is the final step. If the face seems dry and flaky -- which can make it look dull and older -- use a clarifying lotion that removes flakes and uncovers fine skin. Then apply anti-aging eye balm.

this is just too much LMAO

Donger
12-22-2010, 08:23 AM
I begin with a water-activated gel cleanser, then a honey-almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Vidal Sasson shampoo is especially good at getting rid of the coating of dried perspiration, salts, oils, airborne pollutants and dirt that can weigh hair down and flatten it to the scalp, making you look older.

Before shaving, I always press a hot towel against my face for two minutes to soften abrasive beard hair. Then I slather on a moisturizer and let it soak in for a minute. You can rinse it off or keep it on and apply shaving cream over it -- preferably with a brush, which softens the beard as it lifts the whiskers, making hair removal easier.

Rinse the razor and shake off any excess water before starting. Afterwards splash cool water on the face to remove any trace of lather. You should use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol. Never, ever use cologne on your face since the alcohol content will dry your skin out and make you look older.

Applying a moisturizer is the final step. If the face seems dry and flaky -- which can make it look dull and older -- use a clarifying lotion that removes flakes and uncovers fine skin. Then apply anti-aging eye balm.

LMAO

Oxford
12-22-2010, 08:30 AM
Try some of the products from Arbonne, they are sold at the "hen parties" but you might be able to find a local distributor. They have the whole face scrub/shampoo/foot rub/etc going

Norman Einstein
12-22-2010, 08:33 AM
I suggest a ski mask.

It's been years since I worked out in the winter months. I don't remember using anything when it was really cold other than keeping my face covered.

Boudreaux's Butt Cream (http://www.buttpaste.com/BLButtPaste.php) really works on the grand kid's diaper rash.

Burt's Bees (http://www.burtsbees.com/?WT.srch=1) Natural Skin Care is also used by the field crews where I work now.

Eat a really good greasy breakfast, maybe the grease will permeate your skin and keep it from drying out.

Iowanian
12-22-2010, 08:53 AM
My advice is simple.

Find out what Michael Jackson did and do the exact opposite.

Go to your local feed store and get some bag balm.

tmax63
12-22-2010, 08:56 AM
2nd on bag balm. My father claimed it would hide over and put hair on a cat's ass overnight.

teedubya
12-22-2010, 09:03 AM
this is just too much LMAO

Heh, you have any idea where that comes from? ROFL

Sofa King
12-22-2010, 09:05 AM
Heh, you have any idea where that comes from? ROFL

American Psycho

Sofa King
12-22-2010, 09:07 AM
Serious answer though. i use this mask when i hunt in the tree stand for deer. it worked great and it still breathes. stops the wind well. got it from Cabelas for like 10-20 bucks.


http://images.cabelas.com/is/image/cabelas/s7_942488_610_01?hei=380&wid=380




EDIT: 9.99 right now

http://www.cabelas.com/product/Clothing/Mens-Hunting-Clothing/Mens-Hunting-Headwear/Mens-Facemasks%7C/pc/104797080/c/104748480/sc/104380380/i/103958280/Cabelas-Camoskinz174-Full-Mask/725447.uts?destination=%2Fcatalog%2Fbrowse%2Fclothing-mens-hunting-clothing-mens-hunting-headwear-mens-facemasks%2F_%2FN-1102438%2FNs-CATEGORY_SEQ_103958280



a mask might be a better option than smearing crap all over your face everytime. i sit in some hard cold wind in SoDak for hours, and i never worry about my face with this mask on.

Norman Einstein
12-22-2010, 09:23 AM
My advice is simple.

Find out what Michael Jackson did and do the exact opposite.

Go to your local feed store and get some bag balm.

Heh, now we know what you use for lubrication.

Earthling
12-22-2010, 09:28 AM
You got me, dude. I don't think I ever put anything on my face.

This is why I can steal your girl friend. :D

Pasta Giant Meatball
12-22-2010, 09:32 AM
Simply Red should be along shortly with a solution :thumb:

TRR
12-22-2010, 09:38 AM
I begin with a water-activated gel cleanser, then a honey-almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Vidal Sasson shampoo is especially good at getting rid of the coating of dried perspiration, salts, oils, airborne pollutants and dirt that can weigh hair down and flatten it to the scalp, making you look older.

Before shaving, I always press a hot towel against my face for two minutes to soften abrasive beard hair. Then I slather on a moisturizer and let it soak in for a minute. You can rinse it off or keep it on and apply shaving cream over it -- preferably with a brush, which softens the beard as it lifts the whiskers, making hair removal easier.

Rinse the razor and shake off any excess water before starting. Afterwards splash cool water on the face to remove any trace of lather. You should use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol. Never, ever use cologne on your face since the alcohol content will dry your skin out and make you look older.

Applying a moisturizer is the final step. If the face seems dry and flaky -- which can make it look dull and older -- use a clarifying lotion that removes flakes and uncovers fine skin. Then apply anti-aging eye balm.

American Psycho! Excellent post!
Posted via Mobile Device

MOhillbilly
12-22-2010, 09:57 AM
bag balm

Sofa King
12-22-2010, 10:02 AM
American Psycho! Excellent post!
Posted via Mobile Device

beat ya!

boogblaster
12-22-2010, 10:08 AM
maiden dew .......

damaticous
12-22-2010, 10:47 AM
vegetable glycerin

Iowanian
12-22-2010, 12:02 PM
Heh, now we know what you use for lubrication.

Well You wrinkled old pillowbiter with the piss drip you can't fix....If you knew your dick from a dandylion, you'd know that Bag balm and utter creme are used to heal milk cows from mastitis and it's absolutely the only acceptable man lotion.

Take your ass to the Lane Giant section of Good Will and sniff panties or whatever else it is you do when you're not finger painting on the walls of your house with your colostomy pudding. You're already the Mayor of Dumbfuckville, but keep it up and I'll run you for Senate Tom Gash.


Bag Balm is magic.

Phobia
12-22-2010, 12:36 PM
This is why I can steal your girl friend. :D

You can have my girlfriend, just leave my wife alone.

Sofa King
12-22-2010, 12:42 PM
You can have my girlfriend, just leave my wife alone.

just him or everyone?

Pants
12-22-2010, 01:10 PM
Take your ass to the Lane Giant section of Good Will and sniff panties or whatever else it is you do when you're not finger painting on the walls of your house with your colostomy pudding.

LMAO

Might be your masterpiece right there.

Iowanian
12-22-2010, 01:17 PM
I'd pretty much avoided the fellow, but once Captain Kangaroo futhermucker starts pointing his dick in my direction, I'm going to fist him like Rex Ryan's wife with my Hulk glove.

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQjgyHjnE84MBODBhxkkm9v1SaQLW7X1cfDhVf1f9p5os8ZMjQoMw

Earthling
12-22-2010, 01:39 PM
You can have my girlfriend, just leave my wife alone.

:thumb:

Norman Einstein
12-22-2010, 01:42 PM
Well You wrinkled old pillowbiter with the piss drip you can't fix....If you knew your dick from a dandylion, you'd know that Bag balm and utter creme are used to heal milk cows from mastitis and it's absolutely the only acceptable man lotion.

Bag Balm is magic.

You remain a low life. It must really suck to be you.

tooge
12-22-2010, 01:44 PM
try one of those vaginal steam bath gizmos. Just on your face though.

Pants
12-22-2010, 01:45 PM
Once again iowanian shows his low class mentality.

I suggest you find reality before reality finds you.

I know it stung, man. It's OK, just apply some Bag Balm.

booger
12-22-2010, 01:46 PM
You can have my girlfriend, just leave my wife alone.

LMAO

Donger
12-22-2010, 01:47 PM
You remain a low life. It must really suck to be you.

You CHOSE to come in this thread and make this comment, right?

Heh, now we know what you use for lubrication

Norman Einstein
12-22-2010, 01:47 PM
I know it stung, man. It's OK, just apply some Bag Balm.

What sting? Iowaian is just a mental midget that gets off being a nasty boy.

I doubt you are much better.

Norman Einstein
12-22-2010, 01:48 PM
You CHOSE to come in this thread and make this comment, right?

Heh, now we know what you use for lubrication

Sure, based on some of the earlier posts it fits right in line.

Have you read the rest?

Pants
12-22-2010, 01:48 PM
What sting? Iowaian is just a mental midget that gets off being a nasty boy.

I doubt you are much better.

I don't know the man personally but he makes me laugh. You, on the other hand, are worthless.

Brock
12-22-2010, 01:49 PM
Well You wrinkled old pillowbiter with the piss drip you can't fix....If you knew your dick from a dandylion, you'd know that Bag balm and utter creme are used to heal milk cows from mastitis and it's absolutely the only acceptable man lotion.

Take your ass to the Lane Giant section of Good Will and sniff panties or whatever else it is you do when you're not finger painting on the walls of your house with your colostomy pudding. You're already the Mayor of Dumbfuckville, but keep it up and I'll run you for Senate Tom Gash.


Bag Balm is magic.

You've saved your best for the end of the year, nice.

Donger
12-22-2010, 01:50 PM
Sure, based on some of the earlier posts it fits right in line.

Have you read the rest?

No, not at all. Your response was the first one attacking another poster.

Read the rest of what?

googlegoogle
12-22-2010, 01:50 PM
try petroleum jelly or lanolin. thick stuff.

Norman Einstein
12-22-2010, 01:53 PM
You've saved your best for the end of the year, nice.

Gee, I guess it's good I have so many fans.

No Brock, I won't send you an autograph.

Iowanian
12-22-2010, 03:27 PM
Hey Tom Gash. **** you you Captain kangaroo looking cock holster.

You don't scare me, pussy. Also, thank you for tattle tailing on me for suggesting you drip piss and finger paint.