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RINGLEADER
12-23-2010, 01:10 AM
(CHICAGO ) - The Paiutes, a Native-American tribe indigenous to parts of Nevada, Utah and Arizona, told early white settlers about their ancestors' battles with a ferocious race of white, red-haired giants. According to the Paiutes, the giants were already living in the area.

Roaming, man-eating giants

The Paiutes named the giants Si-Te-Cah that literally means “tule-eaters.” The tule is a fibrous water plant the giants wove into rafts to escape the Paiutes continuous attacks.

They used the rafts to navigate across what remained of Lake Lahontan.


Giants roamed the Earth


According to the Paiutes, the red-haired giants stood as tall as 12-feet and were a vicious, unapproachable people that killed and ate captured Paiutes as food.

The legend

The Paiutes told the early settlers that after many years of warfare, all the tribes in the area finally joined together to rid themselves of the giants.

One day as they chased down the few remaining red-haired enemy, the fleeing giants took refuge in a cave. The tribal warriors demanded their enemy come out and fight, but the giants steadfastly refused to leave their sanctuary.

Frustrated at not defeating their enemy with honor, the tribal chiefs had warriors fill the entrance to the cavern with brush and then set it on fire in a bid to force the giants out of the cave.

The few that did emerge were instantly slain with volleys of arrows. The giants that remained inside the cavern were asphyxiated.

Later, an earthquake rocked the region and the cave entrance collapsed leaving only enough room for bats to enter it and make it their home.

Cave of the Nevadan man-eating giants

The find

Hundreds of years later archaeologists explored the cavern near Lovelock, Nevada--the cave the Indians had described.

What the scientific researchers found was staggering: over 10,000 artifacts were unearthed including the mummified remains of two red-haired giants—one, a female 6.5-feet tall, the other male, over 8-feet tall.

Many of the artifacts (but not the giants) can be viewed at the small natural history museum located in Winnemucca, Nevada.

A giant red-haired mummy from Nevada


Confirmation of the myth

As the excavation of the cave progressed, the archaeologists came to the inescapable conclusion that the Paiutes myth was no myth; it was true.

What led them to this realization was the discovery of many broken arrows that had been shot into the cave and a dark layer of burned material under sections of the overlaying guano.

Among the thousands of artifacts recovered from this site of an unknown people is what some scientists are convinced is a calendar: a donut-shaped stone with exactly 365 notches carved along its outside rim and 52 corresponding notches along the inside.

But that was not to be the final chapter of red-haired giants in Nevada.

In February and June of 1931, two very large skeletons were found in the Humboldt dry lake bed near Lovelock, Nevada.

http://www.salem-news.com/articles/december202010/history-giants-ta.php

Rain Man
12-23-2010, 01:18 AM
I had no idea that violent red-haired giants once roamed Nevada.

KurtCobain
12-23-2010, 01:26 AM
I had no idea that violent red-haired giants once roamed Nevada.

I had a hunch, that's all though.

splatbass
12-23-2010, 01:42 AM
I had no idea that violent red-haired giants once roamed Nevada.

This one has been spotted in Los Angeles:

Zaiko
12-23-2010, 01:53 AM
I think this is bullshit. There's practically no evidence for anything this guy wrote in relation to the sizes of the people.

Also, 52 week year? Position of the corpses?

kysirsoze
12-23-2010, 02:53 AM
I had no idea that violent red-haired giants once roamed Nevada.

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQCrD-p7ptTxLbwkXINJ9PJAiOGDe3tLKp1FfvnYP_CmoTkIVlW8A

KurtCobain
12-23-2010, 02:56 AM
http://bsmith101.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/000946-fat-overweight-black-woman-with-huge-red-hair-eating-kfc-chicken11.jpg

kysirsoze
12-23-2010, 02:59 AM
http://bsmith101.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/000946-fat-overweight-black-woman-with-huge-red-hair-eating-kfc-chicken11.jpg

Did they even have deep fryers back then?

bevischief
12-23-2010, 07:39 AM
...

Count Alex's Losses
12-23-2010, 07:41 AM
More proof for the existence of extraterrestrials.

Bwana
12-23-2010, 08:17 AM
Alriiiiiiiighty then.

Stanley Nickels
12-23-2010, 08:22 AM
This guy writes National Enquirer-level fiction. Untrue and stupid.

Rausch
12-23-2010, 08:28 AM
Shouldn't really be a shocker.

We've found really small people on remote islands, Neanderthals, cromags, etc.

Americans (native and otherwise - kicking giant ginger ass) FUCK YEAH!1!...

Otter
12-23-2010, 08:38 AM
fee, fi, fo, fum...

someone rhyme that up

Iowanian
12-23-2010, 09:10 AM
I'm Sorry Billaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, I'm Soooooo Sorraaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Old Dog
12-23-2010, 09:11 AM
I saw a really tall red-headed stripper in Vegas, but I think the man-eating was extra.

Iowanian
12-23-2010, 09:26 AM
fee, fi, fo, fum...

someone rhyme that up


Fee! Fi. FO! FUM!
Tonto Killed those Gingers SON!

Crush
12-23-2010, 09:45 AM
I guess the mystery of Chuck Cunningham's disappearance has been officially solved.

Cave Johnson
12-23-2010, 10:02 AM
Here's the actual prehistoric human story of the day.

http://www.npr.org/2010/12/23/132243268/ancient-bones-dna-suggests-new-human-ancestors

Demonpenz
12-23-2010, 11:17 AM
Wild santa

Hydrae
12-23-2010, 11:25 AM
Here's the actual prehistoric human story of the day.

http://www.npr.org/2010/12/23/132243268/ancient-bones-dna-suggests-new-human-ancestors

Strange. Human-like aliens?

Detoxing
12-23-2010, 11:29 AM
Here's the actual prehistoric human story of the day.

http://www.npr.org/2010/12/23/132243268/ancient-bones-dna-suggests-new-human-ancestors

I read this in the paper this morning. good thing I didn't make a thread.

Pants
12-23-2010, 11:31 AM
Strange. Human-like aliens?

What makes you say that? The only thing that I got from the article is how awesome the technology has gotten that we can now map a prehistoric person's entire genome and that has led us to discover a new species related to the Neanderthals.

Rain Man
12-23-2010, 11:36 AM
This guy writes National Enquirer-level fiction. Untrue and stupid.


Way to ruin my Christmas. I want to believe!

Donger
12-23-2010, 11:42 AM
Here's the actual prehistoric human story of the day.

http://www.npr.org/2010/12/23/132243268/ancient-bones-dna-suggests-new-human-ancestors

In other words, as they left Africa, modern humans must have passed through the realm of the Denisovans, and had sex with some of the locals, on their way to Melanesia.

Hominids Are Easy!

Hydrae
12-23-2010, 11:51 AM
What makes you say that? The only thing that I got from the article is how awesome the technology has gotten that we can now map a prehistoric person's entire genome and that has led us to discover a new species related to the Neanderthals.

But, where did that new species come from? It must be the sons of God mentioned in Genesis that had congress with the daughters of men. :)

/silliness

Iowanian
12-23-2010, 12:02 PM
What I want to know is when the ancestors of these evil brown Plains-Devils who slaughtered the native ginger-Americans are going to fork over the reparations and if they're going to cut checks from Casino profits.

One of my daughter's is Ginger enough to probably qualify for a cut for our pain and suffering from the cultural disrespect of the Piautes

boogblaster
12-23-2010, 12:02 PM
fee fi fi fum red-haired giants no longer cum .......

LoneWolf
12-23-2010, 12:22 PM
fee, fi, fo, fum...

someone rhyme that up

fee, fi, fo, fum
we burn easily in the sun.

notorious
12-23-2010, 12:42 PM
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQCrD-p7ptTxLbwkXINJ9PJAiOGDe3tLKp1FfvnYP_CmoTkIVlW8A

ROFL


JFC


Carrot Top is a shredded up mother fucker!