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CoMoChief
01-14-2011, 10:43 AM
Well I'm fucked.

phisherman
01-14-2011, 10:44 AM
Ouch.

Saulbadguy
01-14-2011, 10:45 AM
haha

eazyb81
01-14-2011, 10:45 AM
idiot

HotRoute
01-14-2011, 10:45 AM
get clean, its the only way to pass one.

Stewie
01-14-2011, 10:47 AM
Gee! Who knew companies screen prospective employees for drugs? Those big meanies!

Mr_Tomahawk
01-14-2011, 10:47 AM
Was it worth it...?

Hydrae
01-14-2011, 10:48 AM
Gee! Who knew companies screen prospective employees for drugs? Those big meanies!

Too bad about the only thing they catch is the pot smoker. Basically any other drug is out of your system within 48-72 hours but pot stays around for up to 30 days.

beach tribe
01-14-2011, 10:48 AM
No you're not.

Passed 12 straight tests while on probation with this. Sometimes smoked the night before.

Before someone chimes in, That was 8 years ago.

http://www.testclear.com/XXtra-Clean-Cleansing-Drink-P14C27.aspx

Al Czervik
01-14-2011, 10:48 AM
Well I'm ****ed.

Maybe Sasha can send you a vial of his urine....
I bet he is clean....

morphius
01-14-2011, 10:48 AM
always have to shake my head when people don't expect this when they are looking for a job.

Radar Chief
01-14-2011, 10:50 AM
Don’t know about where you live but around here companies share that information. So if you fail a wiz quiz at one company you’re pretty much screwed for a job in the entire area.

Priest31kc
01-14-2011, 10:50 AM
Substitute man....

eazyb81
01-14-2011, 10:51 AM
Don’t know about where you live but around here companies share that information. So if you fail a wiz quiz at one company you’re pretty much screwed for a job in the entire area.

Wow, is that even legal?

How is the information shared?

beach tribe
01-14-2011, 10:53 AM
get clean, its the only way to pass one.

Wrong.

CoMoChief
01-14-2011, 10:54 AM
Well I'm currently employed now, it's just this job (which I wanted at the time AND was clean) I applied for about 6 months ago and they're just now calling me back wanting to know if I'm interested..I told them yes as it would move me back to KC area and get me the hell out of CoMo (if that happens may have to change screename). Now I'm not clean and I would like this job. Eh oh well.....

Brock
01-14-2011, 10:55 AM
Well I'm currently employed now, it's just this job (which I wanted at the time AND was clean) I applied for about 6 months ago and they're just now calling me back wanting to know if I'm interested..I told them yes as it would move me back to KC area and get me the hell out of CoMo (if that happens may have to change screename). Now I'm not clean and I would like this job. Eh oh well.....

How long do you have before the test?

CoMoChief
01-14-2011, 10:55 AM
Don’t know about where you live but around here companies share that information. So if you fail a wiz quiz at one company you’re pretty much screwed for a job in the entire area.

i've NEVER heard of that and I'd think there would be some confidentiality issues there if anything.

Dicky McElephant
01-14-2011, 10:55 AM
always have to shake my head when people don't expect this when they are looking for a job.

This.

Der Flöprer
01-14-2011, 10:56 AM
Well I'm currently employed now, it's just this job (which I wanted at the time AND was clean) I applied for about 6 months ago and they're just now calling me back wanting to know if I'm interested..I told them yes as it would move me back to KC area and get me the hell out of CoMo (if that happens may have to change screename). Now I'm not clean and I would like this job. Eh oh well.....

Fuck that. You can buy synthetic urine online. I passed a test with a major corporation using it.

Dicky McElephant
01-14-2011, 10:56 AM
Well I'm currently employed now, it's just this job (which I wanted at the time AND was clean) I applied for about 6 months ago and they're just now calling me back wanting to know if I'm interested..I told them yes as it would move me back to KC area and get me the hell out of CoMo (if that happens may have to change screename). Now I'm not clean and I would like this job. Eh oh well.....

When is the test?

Radar Chief
01-14-2011, 10:56 AM
Wow, is that even legal?

How is the information shared?

The word is mostly spread through the HR departments.
I don’t think there’s anything illegal about it, HR certainly has the right to check into the background of perspective employees.

luv
01-14-2011, 10:58 AM
It's your choice to do drugs. Sorry if you have to face the consequences.

CoMoChief
01-14-2011, 10:58 AM
When is the test?

interview is monday...they told me subject to a drug test, don't know if that means its that day, or if i have a week to do it etc....

Brock
01-14-2011, 10:58 AM
interview is monday...they told me subject to a drug test, don't know if that means its that day, or if i have a week to do it etc....

You have time to get clean.

Dicky McElephant
01-14-2011, 10:58 AM
interview is monday...they told me subject to a drug test, don't know if that means its that day, or if i have a week to do it etc....

You've got this weekend.

Start drinking massive amounts of water and taking Niacin. It worked for me.

Der Flöprer
01-14-2011, 10:59 AM
The word is mostly spread through the HR departments.
I don’t think there’s anything illegal about it, HR certainly has the right to check into the background of perspective employees.

The drug test is part of a background screening. Disclosing results of those to 3rd parties is definitely illegal.

beach tribe
01-14-2011, 10:59 AM
interview is monday...they told me subject to a drug test, don't know if that means its that day, or if i have a week to do it etc....

Dude. Get this shit i posted in page one. It WORKS. I would swear by it.

MOhillbilly
01-14-2011, 10:59 AM
drink clean urine, its the only way. Do you have a GF or maybe a dog?

Radar Chief
01-14-2011, 10:59 AM
i've NEVER heard of that and I'd think there would be some confidentiality issues there if anything.

One of the board lawyers will have to speak up regarding “confidentiality” issues but I have seen it happen.

Der Flöprer
01-14-2011, 11:00 AM
It's your choice to do drugs. Sorry if you have to face the consequences.

Social inequity. Fucking up mankind since the beginning of time.

CoMoChief
01-14-2011, 11:01 AM
You've got this weekend.

Start drinking massive amounts of water and taking Niacin. It worked for me.

I've done that once, broke out into like a sunburn type rash all over my body (though I took a shit ton of it because I was told to do so)

LOL won't do that again.

Radar Chief
01-14-2011, 11:01 AM
The drug test is part of a background screening. Disclosing results of those to 3rd parties is definitely illegal.

I’ll take your word for it, but like I posted before I’ve seen it happen.

MVChiefFan
01-14-2011, 11:01 AM
drink clean urine, its the only way. Do you have a GF or maybe a dog?

LMAO

eazyb81
01-14-2011, 11:01 AM
The word is mostly spread through the HR departments.
I don’t think there’s anything illegal about it, HR certainly has the right to check into the background of perspective employees.

And how exactly do the HR depts track the info?

You really think company X is calling every every other company in KC to let them know CoMoChief failed a pee test and to stay far away from him?

Der Flöprer
01-14-2011, 11:02 AM
I’ll take your word for it, but like I posted before I’ve seen it happen.

Oh yeah. Proving it is nearly impossible. Particularly with a good ole boy network.

Der Flöprer
01-14-2011, 11:03 AM
And how exactly do the HR depts track the info?

You really think company X is calling every every other company in KC to let them know CoMoChief failed a pee test and to stay far away from him?

He's probably talking about a small town, or a particular industry.

Fish
01-14-2011, 11:03 AM
drink clean urine, its the only way. Do you have a GF or maybe a dog?

THIS. Get to it. I'm sure a few here would be nice enough to help you out with it...

Der Flöprer
01-14-2011, 11:04 AM
Even I have clean piss these days. For a small fee, i'll forward you a bottle.

eazyb81
01-14-2011, 11:05 AM
He's probably talking about a small town, or a particular industry.

Maybe, I just don't see how it would work.

I can see calling up an employee's previous companies and talking off the record about him, but how would you spread the word about a potential employee that failed a pee test?

Is there an email that goes around every day? Is it just mentioned in passing during conversations?

Radar Chief
01-14-2011, 11:05 AM
And how exactly do the HR depts track the info?

You really think company X is calling every every other company in KC to let them know CoMoChief failed a pee test and to stay far away from him?

In KC maybe not so much but SEK has fewer companies and that’s exactly what I’ve seen them do.
When HR at company X gets an app. they call the HR departments of other companies in the area to see if this same person filled out an app. with them and to see how it went, if there are any discrepancies between the apps.

Cave Johnson
01-14-2011, 11:06 AM
Social inequity. ****ing up mankind since the beginning of time.

Pot, the drug of choice for negros and jazz musicians. ;)

Der Flöprer
01-14-2011, 11:06 AM
Maybe, I just don't see how it would work.

I can see calling up an employee's previous companies and talking off the record about him, but how would you spread the word about a potential employee that failed a pee test?

Is there an email that goes around every day? Is it just mentioned in passing during conversations?

Heh. Good point. I wouldn't have a clue.

Dicky McElephant
01-14-2011, 11:06 AM
I've done that once, broke out into like a sunburn type rash all over my body (though I took a shit ton of it because I was told to do so)

LOL won't do that again.

Yeah but that shit worked....didn't it?

You can either do that or take shots of vinegar.

seclark
01-14-2011, 11:06 AM
drink clean urine, its the only way. Do you have a GF or maybe a dog?

i also know this works. my bulldog saved my job!
sec

Radar Chief
01-14-2011, 11:06 AM
He's probably talking about a small town, or a particular industry.

Yes, I’m speaking only for this area of South East Kansas.

Der Flöprer
01-14-2011, 11:07 AM
Pot, the drug of choice for negros and jazz types. ;)

LMAO Nice.

warrior
01-14-2011, 11:07 AM
drink clean urine, its the only way. Do you have a GF or maybe a dog?










:thumb:

Der Flöprer
01-14-2011, 11:09 AM
Dude. Google synthetic urine. Do it now.

MOhillbilly
01-14-2011, 11:10 AM
i also know this works. my bulldog saved my job!
sec

Its the cat pee that grossed me out.

CoMoChief
01-14-2011, 11:10 AM
Yeah but that shit worked....didn't it?

You can either do that or take shots of vinegar.

Not sure if it was that, or the fact that (at that time) that amount I smoked wasn't that much.

But yeah i guess it worked.

Pants
01-14-2011, 11:10 AM
It's your choice to do drugs. Sorry if you have to face the consequences.

I feel like it's way too harsh to say someone is 'doing drugs' when they just smoke weed.

KcKc
01-14-2011, 11:10 AM
just sub it.

i know a person who works for the county ( cant say which one) and he just subbed. they sent him to a dr. office and they gave him a 10 panel rapid test(the easiest kind to pass) and no one is in the bathroom with you. they even let you lock the door.

about a 10 min process.

or google N2. he is proven.
cant post links. put google this.
DILUTION: tips, tricks and guidelines from N2

Rain Man
01-14-2011, 11:11 AM
drink clean urine, its the only way. Do you have a GF or maybe a dog?

If that won't make a person stop doing drugs, nothing will.

Brock
01-14-2011, 11:12 AM
I feel like it's way too harsh to say someone is 'doing drugs' when they just smoke weed.

OBEY THE LAW



cuz we said so

Der Flöprer
01-14-2011, 11:12 AM
Its the cat pee that grossed me out.

Watch out for cat piss. It's been confused for cat piss chronic in certain screens.

seclark
01-14-2011, 11:16 AM
Its the cat pee that grossed me out.

not only that, it made me piss out a hairball.
sec

MOhillbilly
01-14-2011, 11:16 AM
ive known dudes way back who would mix a cap of bleach in a gallon jug of water. These dudes were on paper for real shit and never got revoked.

KcKc
01-14-2011, 11:19 AM
ive known dudes way back who would mix a cap of bleach in a gallon jug of water. These dudes were on paper for real shit and never got revoked.

dont do this. bleach makes you blind. google N2 and take fiber. N2 knows what he is talking about in the weed world and he is proven and helped many ppl like you.

luv
01-14-2011, 11:20 AM
I feel like it's way too harsh to say someone is 'doing drugs' when they just smoke weed.

I'm thinking it doesn't matter what any of us think. It's called a 'drug test' and you can fail it by smoking weed. Hence, someone in an an office where it matters considers smoking weed as doing drugs.

MOhillbilly
01-14-2011, 11:21 AM
i seen em do it and they never went blind.

Norman Einstein
01-14-2011, 11:22 AM
always have to shake my head when people don't expect this when they are looking for a job.

I think it would be a good test for those wanting to draw welfare (or whatever the current PC name for it is.)

Kerberos
01-14-2011, 11:23 AM
NSFW

http://www.thewhizzinator.com/

:D

Find someone with clean urine and your set. Just make sure they aren't preggo.

Norman Einstein
01-14-2011, 11:27 AM
The word is mostly spread through the HR departments.
I don’t think there’s anything illegal about it, HR certainly has the right to check into the background of perspective employees.

At one time in California companies were sued because when they were called from a prospective employer, about a former employee, they responded with the reason the guy was let go.

I don't know if there are currently any HR type "code" words for this person is a druggie, thief, etc, but at that time basically all they could safely say was that John Doe worked for us from x to y and was typically on time and at work.

I haven't been there for a long time and things may have changed, but I'm surprised that the HR departments in Kansas/Missouri/OK would even consider sharing that information.

CoMoChief
01-14-2011, 11:32 AM
At one time in California companies were sued because when they were called from a prospective employer, about a former employee, they responded with the reason the guy was let go.

I don't know if there are currently any HR type "code" words for this person is a druggie, thief, etc, but at that time basically all they could safely say was that John Doe worked for us from x to y and was typically on time and at work.

I haven't been there for a long time and things may have changed, but I'm surprised that the HR departments in Kansas/Missouri/OK would even consider sharing that information.

I do know that several companies' HR depts (major corps) now will not let a future employer know why someone was let go. They will just verify the dates of employment and what position was held.

Norman Einstein
01-14-2011, 11:38 AM
I do know that several companies' HR depts (major corps) now will not let a future employer know why someone was let go. They will just verify the dates of employment and what position was held.

The larger the company the more strict they are about giving out informaiton. Some of the big corps, like Rockwell, have 100,000+ employees and could stand to lose a sizeable chunck of money for crossing the line.

CHENZ A!
01-14-2011, 11:39 AM
First off, smoking pot is NOT the same as doing drugs. Second, buy a bottle of "the stuff". I pretty much was in the system from about 16-24 on and off, and I used that shit countless times. Never failed once. Used to sell it at 7th Heaven.
Posted via Mobile Device

I should clarify that pot is the only thing I ever tried to mask. If you're doing hard stuff, I'm sure it would still work though you should probably stop doing that nasty shit

luv
01-14-2011, 11:41 AM
At one time in California companies were sued because when they were called from a prospective employer, about a former employee, they responded with the reason the guy was let go.

I don't know if there are currently any HR type "code" words for this person is a druggie, thief, etc, but at that time basically all they could safely say was that John Doe worked for us from x to y and was typically on time and at work.

I haven't been there for a long time and things may have changed, but I'm surprised that the HR departments in Kansas/Missouri/OK would even consider sharing that information.

It's employment verification, not a background check. All an HR department is supposed to do is confirm that the employee worked there. I think even giving out dates is questionable. I also don't think they can give out the reason for leaving.

Buck
01-14-2011, 11:44 AM
Poop in the cup to buy yourself some time. I think you could delay your next drug test at least a week using this method.

Bowser
01-14-2011, 11:44 AM
Does the whole drinking olive oil/juice, along with a shit ton of water work, especially since you have the weekend to cleanse? Plus, will it only be a piss test, or will they take hair?

FAX
01-14-2011, 11:47 AM
It's employment verification, not a background check. All an HR department is supposed to do is confirm that the employee worked there. I think even giving out dates is questionable. I also don't think they can give out the reason for leaving.

I think this is correct. I remember a case several years ago revolving around a company who (when contacted for employment verification) provided some negative information on the prospective hire. The employee person didn't get the job, there was a lawsuit, and the employee person won. At least, that's how I remember it.

Basically, I don't think you can provide any information (either positive or negative) on an individual when contacted for verification. At any rate (even though I would likely recommend that some ex-employees be disemboweled then burned in a tire fire), I stopped providing any information at all ... other than the very basics ... just to be safe.

FAX

Kerberos
01-14-2011, 11:49 AM
Does the whole drinking olive oil/juice, along with a shit ton of water work, especially since you have the weekend to cleanse? Plus, will it only be a piss test, or will they take hair?

Most places won't take hair for testing because of the costs associated.

In fact my wife worked as a Masters level therapist with suicidal children here in Vegas and the hospital she worked for took hair and that is the ONLY time I have ever seen/heard of a place take hair.

10 years ago I would have cringed at the thought of a "Drug Test" but now ... Not so much.

FAX
01-14-2011, 11:50 AM
You should be able to cleanse then self-test, Mr. CoMoChief.

Buy yourself some time. Make like you're sick or pretend your car broke down or claim that your lawn dwarf has suddenly come to life and you have to find him before he kills one of the neighbors. I've done that and it works great.

FAX

Norman Einstein
01-14-2011, 11:52 AM
It's employment verification, not a background check. All an HR department is supposed to do is confirm that the employee worked there. I think even giving out dates is questionable. I also don't think they can give out the reason for leaving.

I was speaking of a few years ago in California. The cause for the change there was Fred Fimple getting trashed by his former employer when the prospective employer called to check on their prospect. The HR ring that Radar was talking about should be illegal, but we all know it happens.

HotRoute
01-14-2011, 11:53 AM
Wrong.

let me clarify, its the only honest way to pass a drug test

Kerberos
01-14-2011, 12:00 PM
BTW you can buy some cleanser at your local GNC. The one I used 10 years ago was a 16oz bottle of liquid that had the consistency of something like liquid jello. liquid but thick.

It has Creatine in it as that is something they test for in drug tests. When you dilute your urine with lots of water by drinking it heavily the day of it brings your creatine level down in your urine and can cause a inconclusive or positive test. (depends on how the company views it)

Be SURE to not only follow the directions on the bottle but go to the website and read EVERYTHING they tell you to do.

Chiefs Rool
01-14-2011, 12:04 PM
I once had an interviewer say "hey, do you need any study time for this drug test?" At the time I didn't though, but that guy was cool for asking.

Dicky McElephant
01-14-2011, 12:05 PM
unless you are going for a high-security job or something, they don't watch you and your junk while you piss, they just make you empty your pockets and send you into a bathroom. Just sayin'.

For my job....they didn't even make me empty my pockets.

Bowser
01-14-2011, 12:06 PM
For my job....they didn't even make me empty my pockets.

Thank god, or they wouldhave "confiscated" that bag of high grade, amirite?

Kerberos
01-14-2011, 12:06 PM
I once had an interviewer say "hey, do you need any study time for this drug test?" At the time I didn't though, but that guy was cool for asking.

Back in my Coca-Cola days I remember one of the bread companys that would give their guys a couple of weeks notice of a pending random. That was the coolest thing I remember a supervisor doing to keep his drivers happy.

Dicky McElephant
01-14-2011, 12:07 PM
Thank god, or they wouldhave "confiscated" that bag of high grade, amirite?

Unfortunately I haven't smoked in a long ass time.

healthpellets
01-14-2011, 12:10 PM
until i show up on the job all doped out of my freakin mind, you as an employer have no reason to test me for shit. effin ridiculous. please share the name of this company so that i can stop all patronage if possible.

Dicky McElephant
01-14-2011, 12:12 PM
until i show up on the job all doped out of my freakin mind, you as an employer have no reason to test me for shit. effin ridiculous. please share the name of this company so that i can stop all patronage if possible.

:spock:

Bowser
01-14-2011, 12:12 PM
until i show up on the job all doped out of my freakin mind, you as an employer have no reason to test me for shit. effin ridiculous. please share the name of this company so that i can stop all patronage if possible.

:LOL:

Chiefs Rool
01-14-2011, 12:18 PM
until i show up on the job all doped out of my freakin mind, you as an employer have no reason to test me for shit. effin ridiculous. please share the name of this company so that i can stop all patronage if possible.

every company that gives decent health benefits

CrazyPhuD
01-14-2011, 12:24 PM
LOL this is one of the few nice things about CA, unless your job is safety critical they don't drug test you for shit. The general rule that what you do on your own time is your own business so long as it doesn't impact your performance.

kstater
01-14-2011, 12:45 PM
Dumbass

KC native
01-14-2011, 01:20 PM
Floppy is right. Go get synthetic urine (now called golden shower enhancer at many places due to the whizzinator lawsuit).

Since it's an employment test, they can't watch you go. Make sure you practice getting it to the right temp and then tape it to your leg when you go in. Pour that shit in the cup and you're scott free.

I know this shit works because I have several friends who work construction and get popped for a UA anytime someone gets hurt or they need to lay people off. They all keep some in their glove box and keep jobs because of it.

The cleanses/detoxify drinks have room for error and can sometimes give a dilution fail. Go with the synthetic.

QuikSsurfer
01-14-2011, 01:31 PM
Well, back in the day, I was in a similar sticky situation and.....

http://www.quickfixurine.com/ plus overnight shipping

Worked like a charm...

Clean since 2008 bitch!!

Norman Einstein
01-14-2011, 01:40 PM
For any of the posters that might use what is classified as illegal substances:

What would you concern level be if the obot administration gets the internet user ID established? If you have a login of Morphin Ranger and that name is tied to your IID (Internet Identification) number will that impact the free speech you now have to discuss how to be clean for a drug test? Should you go to one of the websites that have been provided would your number automatically be transferred to the proper agency for dissimination?

Lkewise, if you frequent porn sites, will that also be shared?

Just kind of wondering, should that become policy/law will it kill the Internet?

I doubt that it would, but there are people now that will not use the internet to transact business for fear of disclosing their private banking information. With IID the government would know all.

'Hamas' Jenkins
01-14-2011, 01:41 PM
Shit like this is why I love CoMo.

Don't ever change.

CrazyPhuD
01-14-2011, 02:05 PM
For any of the posters that might use what is classified as illegal substances:

What would you concern level be if the obot administration gets the internet user ID established? If you have a login of Morphin Ranger and that name is tied to your IID (Internet Identification) number will that impact the free speech you now have to discuss how to be clean for a drug test? Should you go to one of the websites that have been provided would your number automatically be transferred to the proper agency for dissimination?

Lkewise, if you frequent porn sites, will that also be shared?

Just kind of wondering, should that become policy/law will it kill the Internet?

I doubt that it would, but there are people now that will not use the internet to transact business for fear of disclosing their private banking information. With IID the government would know all.

Meh there's no technical measure the government can implement that I can't beat if I really want to so I honestly don't worry too much about it. That said the proposed internet ID when last I heard about it was designed to be optional.

Norman Einstein
01-14-2011, 02:10 PM
Meh there's no technical measure the government can implement that I can't beat if I really want to so I honestly don't worry too much about it. That said the proposed internet ID when last I heard about it was designed to be optional.

I doubt if it becomes a reality that if Obama or another democrat is in office it will become the law of the land with penalties for anyone circumventing the process/procedure.

Stewie
01-14-2011, 02:32 PM
Any job (employer) worth its weight will screen for drugs. It's the first line of defense to weed out dumbasses. BTW, the myth that drugs are flushed from the system in a day or two is a myth. Mass spec is so sensitive now that it can detect residual cocaine, etc. for several days. Good luck!

Fish
01-14-2011, 02:43 PM
I doubt if it becomes a reality that if Obama or another democrat is in office it will become the law of the land with penalties for anyone circumventing the process/procedure.

Why don't you get your political shit back to the DC forum? No need for this off-topic absurdity here.

MOhillbilly
01-14-2011, 02:46 PM
Why don't you get your political shit back to the DC forum? No need for this off-topic absurdity here.

you done it now Fish.

Carlota69
01-14-2011, 02:50 PM
Back inthe winter of '93, I was unemployed in the radio biz (which is the worst time be out of work due to the holidays and the industry basically shutting down), and smoked a ton of weed. As soon as Jan came along, I was offered a gig at a classic rock station, but in the conversaion the PD said, "Come on by on Monday and get your paperwork and take the drug test and we'll be all set."

I was tripping,.I had a wekend to get it together. I went and bought some thick liquid gel stuff (I think someone mentioned the product here) and did the whole dealio that monday morning--no coffee, tons of water and drink this crap. I went to the radio station, got my paperwork and then the PD said to me, "Ok, we're all done--see you tomorrow for your shift".

I was relieved, but a little miffed that I went thu all that for nothing. I stopped smoking pot for a while just in case he popped a surprise test on me. No such thing. A year later, I told my PD the story. He pissed himself laughing. Stupid me for thinking rock radio would drug test their DJ's...I know better now;)

BTW, I havent smoked in 4 years, but thats another story...

Norman Einstein
01-14-2011, 02:54 PM
Why don't you get your political shit back to the DC forum? No need for this off-topic absurdity here.

Why don't you get your collective shit together?

This is basically part of the drug tests commentary. One poster commented about being able to beat the system. This is just a what if. Sorry if you can't see the connection.

Dicky McElephant
01-14-2011, 02:57 PM
Why don't you get your political shit back to the DC forum? No need for this off-topic absurdity here.

lol Join the crowd.

jet62
01-14-2011, 03:19 PM
I am subject to randon pee tests per the FAA because I work in a safety sensitive job. One thing you should know is that they take the temperature of the sample to make sure it just came out of your body. You can't just take someone else's pee and pour it in the cup even if you think you can keep it warm. Also I had a job interview where they took a hair sample. They can go back months when they check a hair sample.

Cave Johnson
01-14-2011, 03:25 PM
Floppy is right. Go get synthetic urine (now called golden shower enhancer at many places due to the whizzinator lawsuit).

Since it's an employment test, they can't watch you go. Make sure you practice getting it to the right temp and then tape it to your leg when you go in. Pour that shit in the cup and you're scott free.

I know this shit works because I have several friends who work construction and get popped for a UA <b>anytime someone gets hurt</b> or they need to lay people off. They all keep some in their glove box and keep jobs because of it.

The cleanses/detoxify drinks have room for error and can sometimes give a dilution fail. Go with the synthetic.

Sage advice. The penalties (at least in MO) are pretty stiff if you test positive post-accident. Theoretically, you could be responsible for paying part of the medical bills, or not being paid for time off.

Marcellus
01-14-2011, 03:44 PM
I am not in the least bit shocked at the OP.

Fish
01-14-2011, 03:46 PM
Why don't you get your collective shit together?

This is basically part of the drug tests commentary. One poster commented about being able to beat the system. This is just a what if. Sorry if you can't see the connection.

The only connection I see is your head and your ass.

beach tribe
01-14-2011, 04:36 PM
Sage advice. The penalties (at least in MO) are pretty stiff if you test positive post-accident. Theoretically, you could be responsible for paying part of the medical bills, or not being paid for time off.

Shit, if you pop a workman's comp urinalysis, not only will they not pay, they will Never pay you for anything EVER again after that IIRC.

joesomebody
01-14-2011, 04:46 PM
<--- Clean

and I live in Columbia if you need a 'tutor'.

Deberg_1990
01-14-2011, 04:53 PM
Don't do drugs and stay clean then you've got nothing to worry about...I don't get it?
Posted via Mobile Device

MOhillbilly
01-14-2011, 04:54 PM
<--- Clean

and I live in Columbia if you need a 'tutor'.

you gonna put it in a glass or make him drink it straight out the dong?

joesomebody
01-14-2011, 04:56 PM
you gonna put it in a glass or make him drink it straight out the dong?

Since when do you drink it? I've always had people put it in a bottle and tape it to there leg...

Drink it? Really? Yuck.

sedated
01-14-2011, 04:57 PM
Don't do drugs and stay clean then you've got nothing to worry about...I don't get it?

clearly not.

MOhillbilly
01-14-2011, 04:58 PM
Since when do you drink it? I've always had people put it in a bottle and tape it to there leg...

Drink it? Really? Yuck.

yes drinking clean urine is the only way.

joesomebody
01-14-2011, 05:02 PM
yes drinking clean urine is the only way.

They aren't watching you pee, so why drink it? Just heat it up with a lighter and pour it in the cup. I have seriously never heard of drinking it. I have heard of using a catheter to pour clean pee into your bladder, but never drinking it.

Most of the people I know just heat it up in a bottle and pour it in the cup.

beach tribe
01-14-2011, 05:07 PM
They aren't watching you pee, so why drink it? Just heat it up with a lighter and pour it in the cup. I have seriously never heard of drinking it. I have heard of using a catheter to pour clean pee into your bladder, but never drinking it.

Most of the people I know just heat it up in a bottle and pour it in the cup.

Seriously dude?

beach tribe
01-14-2011, 05:10 PM
clearly not.

Exactly what I was thinking.

Loved your performance on the news BTW.

Baconeater
01-14-2011, 05:14 PM
Don't do drugs and stay clean then you've got nothing to worry about...I don't get it?
Posted via Mobile Device
That's no fun.

KC Tattoo
01-14-2011, 05:23 PM
<embed width="640" height="360" src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:ifilm:video:spike.com:2941360" quality="high" bgcolor="000000" name="efp" align="middle" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" flashvars="autoPlay=false" allowfullscreen="true"></embed><div style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px; background-color: #000; width: 640px; padding: 3px 0; color: #fff;"><a href="http://www.spike.com/video/beat-drug-test/2941360" style="color: #ffcc35; margin-left: 5px;">Beat the Drug Test?</a> | <a href="http://www.spike.com/network/spike" style="color: #ffcc35">SpikeTV</a> | <a href="http://www.spike.com/" style="color: #ffcc35">SPIKE.com</a></div>

Beat drug test per Mancers on Spike tv

DeezNutz
01-14-2011, 05:25 PM
Seriously dude?

Yep. Very misguided.

You have to drink the piss to make sure that it's effective. Too risky any other way.

teedubya
01-14-2011, 05:26 PM
I took a drug test once and got a C-. Well, it was the written exam. I'm not very good with cursive pee writing yet.

joesomebody
01-14-2011, 05:30 PM
Yep. Very misguided.

You have to drink the piss to make sure that it's effective. Too risky any other way.
Well enjoy yourself... I'll pass. Or fail, as it were.

Dicky McElephant
01-14-2011, 05:33 PM
Well enjoy yourself... I'll pass. Or fail, as it were.

:spock:

nstygma
01-14-2011, 06:26 PM
when i was younger and in elementary school, we used the turkey baster method. the whole flag football team employed this method to success.
below you can see christian bale giving a demonstration. you might think he's acting, but he's actually doing this in reality because he gets into character 100% for any film.

in the first brief scene, he's drinking CLEAN urine. it doesn't go into much detail about it, but he says it helps shut down the kidneys. what he means is that it keeps the kidneys from producing dirty urine.

then in the 2nd scene, you see the turkey baster method. NOTE: the tip of the turkey baster must have a smaller device secured to it unless your pee hole can take a baster. the fellas and i liked to use the tip of a super glue applicator, clean and unused of course. then all you have to do is fill it with more CLEAN urine from your dog or something, insert & relax, then squeeze away. nothing to it!

<iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/PAijBzGi4eo?rel=0&amp;hd=1" frameborder="0"></iframe>

BigMeatballDave
01-14-2011, 06:58 PM
Too bad about the only thing they catch is the pot smoker. pot stays around for up to 30 days.Not exactly. Back in '97 I was employed thru a staffing agency. They finally decided to hire me into the company a day after I smoked a joint. I was supposed to go that day for a piss test, but waited a week and passed.

bowener
01-14-2011, 07:03 PM
Pot, the drug of choice for negros and jazz musicians. ;)

And mexican day laborers around and during the great depression.

bowener
01-14-2011, 07:05 PM
Why don't you get your political shit back to the DC forum? No need for this off-topic absurdity here.

Dammit, man. You had to go and take a big ole' bite out of the dangling worm. Didn't see that shiny hook did you?

MadMax
01-14-2011, 07:17 PM
I used to be tested regularly in the Army, I didn't smoke pot much but occasionally I did partake, the people in charge of watching us would let us have people piss for us :) After I got out I had a drug screen for a job and was told to take these pills called golden seal. They worked and I got the job. Don't know if it still works, but back in 1989 it worked for me.They may test for that too now.I've seen friends loose good jobs because of screening.

Bwana
01-14-2011, 07:58 PM
Crack head.......

Chiefs Rool
01-14-2011, 08:03 PM
Don't do drugs and stay clean then you've got nothing to worry about...I don't get it?
Posted via Mobile Device

drugs are fun, mmmkay

philfree
01-14-2011, 09:06 PM
Too bad about the only thing they catch is the pot smoker. Basically any other drug is out of your system within 48-72 hours but pot stays around for up to 30 days.

It takes several hours for pot to show up in ones urine. I'm thinking 8 hours but I'm not 100% on that.

So if you were clean and then took a hit of doobie at a party at 2:00 in the morning you could still test negative if you took a test at 8:00 or 9:00 the same morning.

PhilFree:arrow:

Norman Einstein
01-14-2011, 09:42 PM
Dammit, man. You had to go and take a big ole' bite out of the dangling worm. Didn't see that shiny hook did you?

Actually he needs to get his shit together. He didn't read the thread, he just responded because I posted. That's pretty pathetic.

And now that you've made your weak attempt to get into it you just got doubled up on the big old hook, btw it isn't shiny I made sure it was rusty.

Norman Einstein
01-14-2011, 09:43 PM
It takes several hours for pot to show up in ones urine. I'm thinking 8 hours but I'm not 100% on that.

So if you were clean and then took a hit of doobie at a party at 2:00 in the morning you could still test negative if you took a test at 8:00 or 9:00 the same morning.

PhilFree:arrow:

So why take a chance?

Demonpenz
01-14-2011, 10:24 PM
just be a waiter or something.

RJ
01-14-2011, 10:34 PM
drink clean urine, its the only way. Do you have a GF or maybe a dog?


Or a girlfriend/dog?

Ugly Duck
01-14-2011, 11:32 PM
Try smoking that fake weed... the stuff with brands such as "K2" or "Space." Its some weeds sprayed with an artificial cannibinoid. There's like 30 different cannibinoids in THC, somebody has synthesized one of them. Since the actual molecule is different than the real one in THC, it doesn't show up on drug tests. Its still legal in most places, so the cops can't bust you for it. Watch out - the cannibinoid receptors in your brain have an affinity for the synthetic molecule that is 10X stronger compared to real THC. Smoke too much & you'll be crawling around on the floor having an anxiety attack.

HoneyBadger
01-15-2011, 12:20 AM
So you do drugs, and then you want to cheat on a test they give you.

Sounds like you'll be a great employee :)

BossChief
01-15-2011, 12:30 AM
Totally off topic post upcoming...

I dont really care if this is a repost but you know what they should do immediately?

Require a drug test for ANY public assistance.

A friend of mine came upon hard times and I gave him a few rides around to get signed up for help till he can get on his feet and I swear damn near everyone in the offices we went to were high in one form or another.

Sorry, but if you can afford pot or drugs, you should have to work to pay for it...I shouldn't have to.

CoMoChief
01-15-2011, 08:42 AM
So you do drugs, and then you want to cheat on a test they give you.

Sounds like you'll be a great employee :)

:spock:

How about you just never post again. Do CP a huge favor.

philfree
01-15-2011, 08:52 AM
So why take a chance?

I didn't say take a chance I was just passing along some info.

Smart money says don't do drugs.


PhilFree:arrow:

Dave Lane
01-15-2011, 10:21 AM
It's your choice to do drugs. Sorry if you have to face the consequences.

I say the same damn thing to people that drink.

Kerberos
01-15-2011, 10:28 AM
Back inthe winter of '93, I was unemployed in the radio biz (which is the worst time be out of work due to the holidays and the industry basically shutting down), and smoked a ton of weed. As soon as Jan came along, I was offered a gig at a classic rock station, but in the conversaion the PD said, "Come on by on Monday and get your paperwork and take the drug test and we'll be all set."

I was tripping,.I had a wekend to get it together. I went and bought some thick liquid gel stuff (I think someone mentioned the product here) and did the whole dealio that monday morning--no coffee, tons of water and drink this crap. I went to the radio station, got my paperwork and then the PD said to me, "Ok, we're all done--see you tomorrow for your shift".

I was relieved, but a little miffed that I went thu all that for nothing. I stopped smoking pot for a while just in case he popped a surprise test on me. No such thing. A year later, I told my PD the story. He pissed himself laughing. Stupid me for thinking rock radio would drug test their DJ's...I know better now;)

BTW, I havent smoked in 4 years, but thats another story...


Listening to the KOMP morning show tells me that Drug screening DJ's would be counter productive. :)

Craig, Al and Andy are as funny as I have heard.

Sorry I don't get to listen to your show much as I am at work without radio :( and I get to listen to Gooch on the way home. :)

Zebedee DuBois
01-15-2011, 10:32 AM
There are a lot of variables in drug testing, mostly based upon how much the employer is paying for the test, and how results are interpreted.
If they are on the cheap end, there is a 'dipstick' test, which is basically screening out the very stupid people who can't outsmart it.
Towards the other end are other techniques including follicular testing.
Detection of the presence of masking agents can be considered a test failure.

philfree
01-15-2011, 10:33 AM
Listening to the KOMP morning show tells me that Drug screening DJ's would be counter productive. :)

Craig, Al and Andy are as funny as I have heard.

Sorry I don't get to listen to your show much as I am at work without radio :( and I get to listen to Gooch on the way home. :)

If I had a morning radio show I'd call it 'Wake -n- Bake'.


PhilFree:arrow:

ChiefsNow
01-15-2011, 10:47 AM
Its the cat pee that grossed me out.

because you have to lick it off the couch.

Fire Me Boy!
01-15-2011, 10:50 AM
:spock:

How about you just never post again. Do CP a huge favor.

Hmm. I have to agree with him.

Demonpenz
01-15-2011, 11:28 AM
turns out my employer tests for cat piss :(

BillSelfsTrophycase
01-15-2011, 11:43 AM
Since when do you drink it? I've always had people put it in a bottle and tape it to there leg...

Drink it? Really? Yuck.

Dude, check your batteries

alnorth
01-15-2011, 01:02 PM
Good luck. I've always had to stay away from all drugs including pot because the risk is just too great for me. I'm in a pretty small profession where there are only a few jobs open in the midwest and word would probably get around.

Valiant
01-15-2011, 01:14 PM
**** that. You can buy synthetic urine online. I passed a test with a major corporation using it.

Test I did I had to strip down into my underwear to pee in the cup.. Then into a temperature cup to make sure it was the right temperature..

But if you just did pot I am pretty sure you can cleanse your system in time..

gman1220
01-15-2011, 01:17 PM
oil change its simple and it works trust me

QuikSsurfer
01-15-2011, 01:40 PM
Test I did I had to strip down into my underwear to pee in the cup

This was for employment?

Hog Farmer
01-15-2011, 01:53 PM
You should tell them you're not available Monday because you're celebrating "JAMES EARL RAY DAY"

ChiefsNow
01-15-2011, 02:20 PM
Anafranil is an anti-depressant that causes people to have orgasms every time they yawn. Although cases are somewhat rare, some users had orgasms whenever they yawned, and even "faking" a yawn would produce an orgasm. The first case of this was a female patient who had been depressed for 3 months, but under treatment "Complete symptom remission occurred within 10 days". She then asked how long she would be allowed to go on using the drug (I wonder why), since she had observed that every time she yawned she had an orgasm, and she was able to experience orgasm by deliberate yawning. Apparently it can work for guys too. One male patient said that while he found the repeated climaxes "awkward and embarrassing, he elected to continue the medication because of the therapeutic benefit he obtained. The awkwardness and embarrassment were overcome by continuously wearing a condom." If someone could make the drug to be 100% effective, then you're going to have a world of really "tired" people.

Valiant
01-15-2011, 03:27 PM
This was for employment?

Yeah, the facility I went to had all their applicants do this to stop people from cheating the system.. Did not really bother me, but my hands were cold..

Mr. Kotter
01-15-2011, 03:39 PM
It's called "consequences" and "choices." :shrug:

googlegoogle
01-15-2011, 03:59 PM
unconstitutional.

like asking what underwear you have on or what's in your wallet?

All an employer needs is evidence of bad abuse on a job site to fire is my opinion.

Start Croyle
01-15-2011, 04:04 PM
unconstitutional.

like asking what underwear you have on or what's in your wallet?

All an employer needs is evidence of bad abuse on a job site to fire is my opinion.

Huh! What on earth does the Constitution have to do with any of this!

HoneyBadger
01-16-2011, 04:16 AM
:spock:

How about you just never post again. Do CP a huge favor.

Ok, Deal. Not.

JOhn
01-16-2011, 04:23 AM
http://www.drugfreehomes.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/drugfree_workplace.jpg

KC Jones
01-16-2011, 07:56 AM
If you can't stay clean while you're looking for a job, you really didn't try to get the job now did you?

I had someone ask us if they had passed the test. What a fucking moron, we scratched his ass right off the list. This was for a senior engineering position too. Apparently that's not at all uncommon as my father in law saw dozens get scratched for calling in and asking that question when he was consulting during a new factory opening for a large manufacturing company.

I say this all with no judgement at all about actually using drugs. Lord knows I've done my fair share, but you have to be pretty fucking pathetic to not have the initiative to stay clean while you job hunt.