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BIG_DADDY
02-02-2011, 04:00 PM
I have to commute and can be away for up to like 18 days like the stretch I am in now. At about 10 days I start getting real irritable and it gets worse by the day. Today I got approached by one of the other partners who just wants me to leave because I am on right on the edge. Anyone else get like this? I am doing what I can between working myself out to the point where my body just won't go anymore to meditating and yoga. I just can't get past it. I don't know how people in the military deal with that shit. I can't even imagine.

acesn8s
02-02-2011, 04:09 PM
Every two weeks, and I pay for that privilege.

ChiTown
02-02-2011, 04:14 PM
I have to commute and can be away for up to like 18 days like the stretch I am in now. At about 10 days I start getting real irritable and it gets worse by the day. Today I got approached by one of the other partners who just wants me to leave because I am on right on the edge. Anyone else get like this? I am doing what I can between working myself out to the point where my body just won't go anymore to meditating and yoga. I just can't get past it. I don't know how people in the military deal with that shit. I can't even imagine.

When I used to travel overseas, I'd be gone for 3 weeks at a time. It sucked. I had little ones (4 and 1 at the time). I couldn't take missing out on all the great stuff they do at those ages. That's when I decided to go into business for myself. I still travel, but only 2-3 days, every other week. I've never looked back.

Old Dog
02-02-2011, 04:25 PM
Probably not what you're wanting to hear, but I can't honestly say it ever really got easier. That ended up being the main reason I decided to retire from the military after only 22 years and get a real job. I didn't mind the idea of the seventh deployment, but doing it after only having been home for nine weeks was too much.
Otherwise I would probably still be on active duty.

38yrsfan
02-02-2011, 04:26 PM
When I used to travel overseas, I'd be gone for 3 weeks at a time. It sucked. I had little ones (4 and 1 at the time). I couldn't take missing out on all the great stuff they do at those ages. That's when I decided to go into business for myself. I still travel, but only 2-3 days, every other week. I've never looked back.

This, except changed jobs. Made the choice years ago when kids were younger; left the big city moved to a place were we wanted to live then looked for work that doesn't involve being away from home to much. Less pay and responsibility but time with the family. I didn't want to feel I'd missed out on things later in life like so many end up.

trndobrd
02-02-2011, 04:31 PM
I have to commute and can be away for up to like 18 days like the stretch I am in now. At about 10 days I start getting real irritable and it gets worse by the day. Today I got approached by one of the other partners who just wants me to leave because I am on right on the edge. Anyone else get like this? I am doing what I can between working myself out to the point where my body just won't go anymore to meditating and yoga. I just can't get past it. I don't know how people in the military deal with that shit. I can't even imagine.

Skype?

MahiMike
02-02-2011, 04:34 PM
Been on the road for 2 1/2 yrs now. Only see my family on weekends. Sucks really bad. We use Skype and play cards together online but it's not the same.

BIG_DADDY
02-02-2011, 04:35 PM
When I used to travel overseas, I'd be gone for 3 weeks at a time. It sucked. I had little ones (4 and 1 at the time). I couldn't take missing out on all the great stuff they do at those ages. That's when I decided to go into business for myself. I still travel, but only 2-3 days, every other week. I've never looked back.

Yea well I work for myself now. I get to spend about 1/3 of my time up there maybe a little less. It friggen kills me to be away but our business is really starting to look like it could really do something eventually and I have too much invested at this point to just walk away. Friday morning I fly out and it will all be good. Just spent the last hour on priceline. I will get 4 full days up there.

BIG_DADDY
02-02-2011, 04:37 PM
Skype?

I need to get the video working.

bevischief
02-02-2011, 04:45 PM
Phone cards, care packages, alcohol. Skype sounds like a good idea since it wasn't around the last time I had to leave the country.

MIAdragon
02-02-2011, 04:48 PM
Dude I miss my daughter if I'm away from her more than an hour at a time (yea I know I'm a pussy). I cant fathom being away from her that long, feel for ya man.

BIG_DADDY
02-02-2011, 04:55 PM
Dude I miss my daughter if I'm away from her more than an hour at a time (yea I know I'm a pussy). I cant fathom being away from her that long, feel for ya man.

My son is just as bad. HE gets really angry and edgey when I am away too long. My wife found him in his bedroom in his closet crying yesterday and it really shook her up. When she asked what was wrong he said he just missed his daddy. Even thinking about that wells up my eyes. This is a big trip this time as well as it will probably be the last time I see my dad before the big surgery. He has cancer again and I don't think he has long.

bevischief
02-02-2011, 05:09 PM
Do the Skype thing. Sounds like you might have some bad news heading your way. Sorry to hear.

BCD
02-02-2011, 05:41 PM
Yes. My son lives in Florida. Havent seen him in over a month. We do communicate daily, though.

Missing him would be an understatement.

BCD
02-02-2011, 05:53 PM
My son is just as bad. HE gets really angry and edgey when I am away too long. My wife found him in his bedroom in his closet crying yesterday and it really shook her up. When she asked what was wrong he said he just missed his daddy. Even thinking about that wells up my eyes.This sucks. Know exactly how you feel. :huh:

WebGem
02-02-2011, 06:09 PM
I miss my family, no kids for me though.

crispystl420
02-02-2011, 06:23 PM
Is Skype free?

Over-Head
02-02-2011, 06:26 PM
Long haul trucking probably as much as my drug problems back then cost me my first divorce.
In 07`I left home for 12 weeks, only had a cell phone to keep in touch, came back and my son of 2.5yrs old, didn`t even know me.
I spent most of 2010, 3500 miles away.
If it wernt for my work through the day keeping my mind so occupied 20plus feet in the air on some ceilings I would have gone nutts.
Right until I bought a lap top.
with IM
2 way phones
Every pic I took of my wife and son after I flew ho9me the first time I had tapped to teh wall above my bed.
and the accesability of my family through digital means made it half ways bearable.
One sunday, my wife and I even made the same meal, and had a video dinner date.

Will i do it again...who knows, I have potential comissions in western Canada, as well as the USA (if I can get an E-Trade work Visa) for 2011
Ain`t gonna like leaving home for a min of 3-5 months one bit either...but if it means a secure future for my family, and LOTS of time off after each job. Yeah I`ll do it.

I found out that leaving the house at 3:30 am kissing my sleeping son good by.
Then kissing that same sleeping boy good night when I got off the boat at 9pm just after I walked through the door, 6 sometimes 7 days a week was no better.

Its not how much time you spend with your family...its HOW you spend the time you have.

trndobrd
02-02-2011, 06:46 PM
Is Skype free?

If I recall correctly, the video is free. The computer to phone is dirt cheap. I bought $20 credit, did the video thing with my wife just about every day, and called my parents once a week for 10 months and still had a credit left over at the end.

BIG_DADDY
02-02-2011, 07:03 PM
Long haul trucking probably as much as my drug problems back then cost me my first divorce.
In 07`I left home for 12 weeks, only had a cell phone to keep in touch, came back and my son of 2.5yrs old, didn`t even know me.
I spent most of 2010, 3500 miles away.
If it wernt for my work through the day keeping my mind so occupied 20plus feet in the air on some ceilings I would have gone nutts.
Right until I bought a lap top.
with IM
2 way phones
Every pic I took of my wife and son after I flew ho9me the first time I had tapped to teh wall above my bed.
and the accesability of my family through digital means made it half ways bearable.
One sunday, my wife and I even made the same meal, and had a video dinner date.

Will i do it again...who knows, I have potential comissions in western Canada, as well as the USA (if I can get an E-Trade work Visa) for 2011
Ain`t gonna like leaving home for a min of 3-5 months one bit either...but if it means a secure future for my family, and LOTS of time off after each job. Yeah I`ll do it.

I found out that leaving the house at 3:30 am kissing my sleeping son good by.
Then kissing that same sleeping boy good night when I got off the boat at 9pm just after I walked through the door, 6 sometimes 7 days a week was no better.

Its not how much time you spend with your family...its HOW you spend the time you have.

I got that last part down and am looking foward to it.

BigRedChief
02-02-2011, 07:48 PM
I have to commute and can be away for up to like 18 days like the stretch I am in now. At about 10 days I start getting real irritable and it gets worse by the day. Today I got approached by one of the other partners who just wants me to leave because I am on right on the edge. Anyone else get like this? I am doing what I can between working myself out to the point where my body just won't go anymore to meditating and yoga. I just can't get past it. I don't know how people in the military deal with that shit. I can't even imagine.yeah, I feel ya. Not seeing the family every day like I've done the last 20 years sucks. It's by choice but still its been harder than I ever imagined. How someone can deal with war and miss the family for a year? We can't praise their sacrifice enough.

BIG_DADDY
02-02-2011, 08:21 PM
yeah, I feel ya. Not seeing the family every day like I've done the last 20 years sucks. It's by choice but still its been harder than I ever imagined. How someone can deal with war and miss the family for a year? We can't praise their sacrifice enough.

Amen brother.

Iowanian
02-03-2011, 09:16 AM
Move work closer to family, or move your family closer to work....

I don't think you'll want to look back in 15 years and wish you'd have spent more time with the boy.

MOhillbilly
02-03-2011, 09:20 AM
Its the thing that haunts me.

suds79
02-03-2011, 09:22 AM
Is Skype free?

Calling from computer to computer (which is pretty easy to set up), yeah.


Skype to say a cell phone? You have to pay for that.

Also forgot this. If you have skype and you're surfing, if you ever see a telephone icon next to a phone number online, you can call that using skype for free also.

DMAC
02-03-2011, 09:28 AM
My son is just as bad. HE gets really angry and edgey when I am away too long. My wife found him in his bedroom in his closet crying yesterday and it really shook her up. When she asked what was wrong he said he just missed his daddy. Even thinking about that wells up my eyes. This is a big trip this time as well as it will probably be the last time I see my dad before the big surgery. He has cancer again and I don't think he has long.

Damn dude... :(

BIG_DADDY
02-03-2011, 09:30 AM
Move work closer to family, or move your family closer to work....

I don't think you'll want to look back in 15 years and wish you'd have spent more time with the boy.

My mother and father don't have much time left especially my dad who may not make through this year. This is the only grandchild they will ever get to see on a regular basis. My wife also helps them. (They are not together BTW) There is also a lifestyle you can live there that far exceeds that of the bay area. I have a fat house in the mountains there with deer in the yard there every day and an awesome school that cost peanuts for him to attend. Who know what will change but I intend to spend more time up there as the income increases flying back and forth. Tomorrow I leave for 4 days of pure fun.I can't wait.

Iowanian
02-03-2011, 10:39 AM
I understand what you're saying and the motivation for keeping them there.


maybe there is a solution for the work related part that puts you closer to them....sell out and start something local....a different job, remote work?

It sounds like you've got more than just being away from home on your plate, and the extra stress with your dad is surely putting on the pressure. I know that I quit a decent job, moved home and started a business specifically for family reasons. That said, I work within a 5-10 minute walk from my home and don't see my kids 2-4 days/week because I'm here so much.

Good luck to your dad. You'll figure out a solution to the rest.

BIG_DADDY
02-03-2011, 11:15 AM
I understand what you're saying and the motivation for keeping them there.


maybe there is a solution for the work related part that puts you closer to them....sell out and start something local....a different job, remote work?

It sounds like you've got more than just being away from home on your plate, and the extra stress with your dad is surely putting on the pressure. I know that I quit a decent job, moved home and started a business specifically for family reasons. That said, I work within a 5-10 minute walk from my home and don't see my kids 2-4 days/week because I'm here so much.

Good luck to your dad. You'll figure out a solution to the rest.

My goal over the next two years is to get to a point where I can be home half the time or really close to it. Right now it's almost a 3rd but it doesn't seem like it. Vacation time plus the holidays takes it there. I went home for 16 days for the recent holidays. Best time ever. Funny you should mention being close. When they were here in the bay area I would see them for maybe two hours a night and then I was cooking dinner and stuff. We all have our unique challenges. The cool part about having it this way is when I am there I am there and we cram everything we can ionto that time.

BTW, thanks for the input.

Over-Head
02-03-2011, 11:20 AM
My goal over the next two years is to get to a point where I can be home half the time or really close to it. Right now it's almost a 3rd but it doesn't seem like it. Vacation time plus the holidays takes it there. I went home for 16 days for the recent holidays. Best time ever. Funny you should mention being close. When they were here in the bay area I would see them for maybe two hours a night and then I was cooking dinner and stuff. We all have our unique challenges. The cool part about having it this way is when I am there I am there and we cram everything we can ionto that time.

BTW, thanks for the input.

In my 4th week off ATM.
I was compleatly burnt out when I shut down for x-mass, not to mention sick.
This last 4 weeks got me re-aquainted with the most wonderfull person in teh world next to my wife.
A 4yr old with an amazing imagionation.

BIG_DADDY
02-03-2011, 11:30 AM
In my 4th week off ATM.
I was compleatly burnt out when I shut down for x-mass, not to mention sick.
This last 4 weeks got me re-aquainted with the most wonderfull person in teh world next to my wife.
A 4yr old with an amazing imagionation.

My 3 year old did a dance and sing to "I like big butts and I cannot lie" in the mall and attracted a small crowd. I don't know what gets into that kid. THe best time he had was riding the ATV he got for Christmas. Lots of advantages to being out of the city.

Over-Head
02-03-2011, 01:01 PM
My 3 year old did a dance and sing to "I like big butts and I cannot lie" in the mall and attracted a small crowd. I don't know what gets into that kid. THe best time he had was riding the ATV he got for Christmas. Lots of advantages to being out of the city.

Jake is currantly saving Mater and Lightning, from Thomas Train who's taken over an evil flying plastic over sized air ship Coffee cup, while the Chuggintons provide ground suport for Sarge, Flow, and a Triceratops who are breaking them out of a pie plate jail.

BIG_DADDY
02-03-2011, 01:35 PM
Jake is currantly saving Mater and Lightning, from Thomas Train who's taken over an evil flying plastic over sized air ship Coffee cup, while the Chuggintons provide ground suport for Sarge, Flow, and a Triceratops who are breaking them out of a pie plate jail.

Awesome!!!! I saw your little superman. Boy looks thick.

cookster50
02-03-2011, 02:44 PM
My son is just as bad. HE gets really angry and edgey when I am away too long. My wife found him in his bedroom in his closet crying yesterday and it really shook her up. When she asked what was wrong he said he just missed his daddy. Even thinking about that wells up my eyes. This is a big trip this time as well as it will probably be the last time I see my dad before the big surgery. He has cancer again and I don't think he has long.

Bring them with you once in a while? Probably costs too much, but if you are out 18 days, maybe half way in spend a weekend with them?

Hog Farmer
02-03-2011, 05:08 PM
I missed my wife a lot until I bought me a shepherd scope.

Over-Head
02-03-2011, 06:28 PM
Awesome!!!! I saw your little superman. Boy looks thick.
Got the suit for his B-day....man talk about give out shoulder rides today flying him around the house, the cape was flappen

I'm the runt of the litter at 6'1- 200/220 (I go up and down like a yo-yo)
He turned 4 last Saturday,
he's a few oz's shy of 40lbs,
and he's just whisker under 3ft 10"
He's gonna be a big boy I figure

BWillie
02-03-2011, 06:39 PM
Sometimes I miss my cat.

listopencil
02-03-2011, 08:52 PM
I missed my wife a lot until I bought me a shepherd scope.

Yeah, I know. I miss your wife too.

jAZ
02-03-2011, 10:57 PM
I have to commute and can be away for up to like 18 days like the stretch I am in now. At about 10 days I start getting real irritable and it gets worse by the day. Today I got approached by one of the other partners who just wants me to leave because I am on right on the edge. Anyone else get like this? I am doing what I can between working myself out to the point where my body just won't go anymore to meditating and yoga. I just can't get past it. I don't know how people in the military deal with that shit. I can't even imagine.

I've never done that since my son was born. I did live in Seattle for one summer and San Diego for another summer while my wife was back in Tucson. I kept busy and it was just fine. But with a kid it would be a lot harder.

Both my brother in laws are in the AF and have been deployed for up to a year with 1-2 trips back. Their kids are mostly growing up without them. I couldn't do that. I'd rather work at the local fast food place than be away from my kid for a year or for 50% of his first 5-10 years of his life.

Sorry you have to do that, but I"m glad it's not as bad as I've seen.

DaneMcCloud
02-03-2011, 11:26 PM
BD, I don't know how you do it, Bro.

Fortunately, my wife and I both work from home and get to see our daughter all day long because we have a nanny. When she turns three in April, she's going to begin preschool, two days a week for four hours a day. Seriously, it's already heartbreaking that she'll be gone 8 hours a week, even though she'll be less than 10 minutes away by car.

Good luck moving forward, Dude. I feel for you.

BIG_DADDY
02-03-2011, 11:59 PM
BD, I don't know how you do it, Bro.

Fortunately, my wife and I both work from home and get to see our daughter all day long because we have a nanny. When she turns three in April, she's going to begin preschool, two days a week for four hours a day. Seriously, it's already heartbreaking that she'll be gone 8 hours a week, even though she'll be less than 10 minutes away by car.

Good luck moving forward, Dude. I feel for you.

Well in 12 hours we will be rocking the house for 4 days. I can't wait. I am sure he has all my time planned out for me already.