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Rain Man
02-02-2011, 06:50 PM
Check out the parts in bold!

(They're stuff that I added myself to make the article more interesting.)

http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/02/02/nasa.kepler.planets/index.html?hpt=C1

Kepler space telescope spots five Earth-sized planets in our galaxy
From John Zarrella, CNN
February 2, 2011 8:18 p.m. EST


(CNN) -- Are we alone in the universe? Findings by NASA's Kepler space telescope are making that seem less likely.

NASA scientists have announced Kepler has spotted five planets about the size of Earth, orbiting stars in our galaxy, with evidence that beings on those planets are contacting Earth.

These planets are orbiting in what is known as the habitable zone, which puts them at a distance from their suns where liquid water could exist. Liquid water is a key ingredient for life to form.

"In a generation we have gone from extraterrestrial planets being a mainstay of science fiction, to the present, where Kepler has helped turn science fiction into today's reality," said NASA Administrator Charles Bolden. "The signals we are receiving from these planets proves that intelligent life and advanced civilizations are present in myriad forms."

The Kepler science team also announced the telescope found six planets, all larger than Earth, orbiting a single sun-like star.

That star is some 2,000 light years from Earth.

To date, the telescope has detected more than 1,200 planet candidates. The fact that so many planets have been found in the Milky Way galaxy "suggests there are countless planets orbiting sun-like stars in our galaxy," said William Borucki, Kepler's principal investigator. "But the new ones are key because they have intelligent life that is reaching out to contact us."

Kepler does not actually see the planets themselves. The telescope sees tiny decreases in light from the stars as planets transit across their suns, and has also received communications with digital images of beings, ecosystems, and cities on the distant planets.

The five Earth-sized planets are orbiting stars cooler and smaller than our sun, which suggests that the beings are likely thin and furry, and further analysis is still necessary to officially confirm they are planets.

notorious
02-02-2011, 06:52 PM
Chiefsplanet, Patriotsplanet,.........



We are not alone!

KurtCobain
02-02-2011, 06:53 PM
I did like the bold.

KCrockaholic
02-02-2011, 06:54 PM
I love this shit. When the fuck is one of these other life forms gonna come on over and fuckin party with us?

Marcellus
02-02-2011, 06:55 PM
Someone explain how we know they are trying to communicate?

KCrockaholic
02-02-2011, 06:57 PM
Someone explain how we know they are trying to communicate?

Nobody knows. But it will catch your attention in the article.

Rain Man
02-02-2011, 06:59 PM
This guy really should have asked me to help co-write this article. I think I added a lot more punch to it.

Bwana
02-02-2011, 07:00 PM
Dave Lane, get on this!

Gonzo
02-02-2011, 07:01 PM
Mikey just came all over his keyboard, twice.
Posted via Mobile Device

Buck
02-02-2011, 07:01 PM
Someone explain how we know they are trying to communicate?

He could tell by the pixels.

DaneMcCloud
02-02-2011, 07:03 PM
.

Count Zarth
02-02-2011, 07:03 PM
The telescope...has received communications with digital images of beings, ecosystems, and cities on the distant planets.

WHAT THE FUCK!??!?!

Why haven't these images been released?

This is far too important to be confined to a throwaway CNN article.

Count Zarth
02-02-2011, 07:04 PM
Wait a second...I should read Rain Man's posts more carefully.

Fuck.

Buck
02-02-2011, 07:05 PM
WHAT THE FUCK!??!?!

Why haven't these images been released?

This is far too important to be confined to a throwaway CNN article.

BECAUSE THAT NEVER HAPPENED

SNR
02-02-2011, 07:34 PM
That's not a planet.

http://www.teluglobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Borg-ship.jpg

Rain Man
02-02-2011, 07:37 PM
Wait a second...I should read Rain Man's posts more carefully.

****.


Oh. Sorry. I see now that my edits could have been a little misleading.

chasedude
02-02-2011, 07:39 PM
You need to start writing for the Onion.

HotRoute
02-02-2011, 07:39 PM
Far out man

big nasty kcnut
02-02-2011, 07:42 PM
I wish they name a planet after me. planet essex would be awesome. and i name the land mass kansas, ike, von erich, mason and gaz.

Rain Man
02-02-2011, 08:02 PM
I wish they name a planet after me. planet essex would be awesome. and i name the land mass kansas, ike, von erich, mason and gaz.


Have you considered changing your name to PSR B1257+12 C?

acesn8s
02-02-2011, 08:16 PM
I love this shit. When the **** is one of these other life forms gonna come on over and ****in party with us?They have, Roswell style.

KC Jones
02-02-2011, 08:22 PM
So there's this parasite, right? This parasite that lays it's eggs inside of sheep and the sheep then crap out the eggs. Now, sheep generally don't eat their own crap, so how are these baby parasites going to get into a grown up sheep? Well, turns out it waits around for the snails to eat their eggs. Then the next stage starts and the eggs hatch into these little cysts. The cysts irritate the snail into coughing them out. These little cysts are covered in pheromones that are irresistible to ants. The cysts turn into flukes that take over the ant at night. During the day the ants go around doing ant things, but at night the fluke takes over and makes the ant climb to the top of a blade of grass and spend the night hanging out there. Come morning, just maybe an adult sheep will come by and eat that blade of grass and then boom! Little baby parasite is inside it's ultimate host and ready to lay some eggs.

So all I'm saying is, maybe this innate desire to explore new worlds is really just the reaction to an inter galactic multi eon generational parasite that really just wants us to end up in the guts of some alien.

LiveSteam
02-02-2011, 08:26 PM
So there's this parasite, right? This parasite that lays it's eggs inside of sheep and the sheep then crap out the eggs. Now, sheep generally don't eat their own crap, so how are these baby parasites going to get into a grown up sheep? Well, turns out it waits around for the snails to eat their eggs. Then the next stage starts and the eggs hatch into these little cysts. The cysts irritate the snail into coughing them out. These little cysts are covered in pheromones that are irresistible to ants. The cysts turn into flukes that take over the ant at night. During the day the ants go around doing ant things, but at night the fluke takes over and makes the ant climb to the top of a blade of grass and spend the night hanging out there. Come morning, just maybe an adult sheep will come by and eat that blade of grass and then boom! Little baby parasite is inside it's ultimate host and ready to lay some eggs.

So all I'm saying is, maybe this innate desire to explore new worlds is really just the reaction to an inter galactic multi eon generational parasite that really just wants us to end up in the guts of some alien.

Uranus

Rain Man
02-02-2011, 08:33 PM
So there's this parasite, right? This parasite that lays it's eggs inside of sheep and the sheep then crap out the eggs. Now, sheep generally don't eat their own crap, so how are these baby parasites going to get into a grown up sheep? Well, turns out it waits around for the snails to eat their eggs. Then the next stage starts and the eggs hatch into these little cysts. The cysts irritate the snail into coughing them out. These little cysts are covered in pheromones that are irresistible to ants. The cysts turn into flukes that take over the ant at night. During the day the ants go around doing ant things, but at night the fluke takes over and makes the ant climb to the top of a blade of grass and spend the night hanging out there. Come morning, just maybe an adult sheep will come by and eat that blade of grass and then boom! Little baby parasite is inside it's ultimate host and ready to lay some eggs.

So all I'm saying is, maybe this innate desire to explore new worlds is really just the reaction to an inter galactic multi eon generational parasite that really just wants us to end up in the guts of some alien.


That really makes a fellow think.

notorious
02-02-2011, 08:42 PM
That really makes a fellow think.

And where does every man do his best thinking?

marcvanrossen
02-02-2011, 08:47 PM
Oranje planet no doubt!!

Bugeater
02-02-2011, 08:48 PM
Lame mult is lame.

Saul Good
02-02-2011, 09:18 PM
I love this shit. When the **** is one of these other life forms gonna come on over and ****in party with us?

Thousands of them have been trying, but we keep banning them. The mods call them spambots because they don't want us to know the truth. These are super-intelligent visitors from other planets...and they support tags.

Rain Man
02-02-2011, 09:29 PM
And where does every man do his best thinking?

Behind the wheel of a vintage AMC Ambassador?

Saul Good
02-02-2011, 09:37 PM
Behind the wheel of a vintage AMC Ambassador?

You got lucky.

ChiefsNow
02-02-2011, 09:46 PM
That's not a planet.

http://www.teluglobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Borg-ship.jpg

it's obviously space junk that has been put through a compactor.

WebGem
02-02-2011, 10:19 PM
I love this shit. When the **** is one of these other life forms gonna come on over and ****in party with us?

This. I don't party though, but I'd just stand there and look at them.

kcfanXIII
02-02-2011, 11:41 PM
Thousands of them have been trying, but we keep banning them. The mods call them spambots because they don't want us to know the truth. These are super-intelligent visitors from other planets...and they support tags.

But they don't know what number Derrick Thomas wore.

Rooster
02-03-2011, 10:09 AM
Aliens can't weld so we are safe, for now.

CHENZ A!
02-03-2011, 10:23 AM
Chaka, did you just say chorizo tacos? Don't fuck with me, I'm really hungry.
Posted via Mobile Device

Rain Man
02-03-2011, 12:10 PM
But they don't know what number Derrick Thomas wore.

Or maybe they do know, but they have a base-16 numbering system and they keep typing it in and cursing when it says they're wrong.

Over-Head
02-03-2011, 01:36 PM
Don't want a new planet (just ours cleaned up a bit...OK A LOT!!)
How about being ruler of a small island like Pitcarin or Tokelu

RaiderH8r
02-03-2011, 01:46 PM
I love this shit. When the **** is one of these other life forms gonna come on over and ****in party with us?

We're cavemen to any life form that makes it that far. Would you travel from LA to Miami to party with Terri Schiavo? I didn't think so.

loochy
02-03-2011, 02:00 PM
Have you considered changing your name to PSR B1257+12 C?

that sounds like a hollywood baby name