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pr_capone
02-22-2011, 05:52 PM
"Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brotherís wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also"

Take the world as a whole. Does this mean that God will smote us if we pull out?

Okie_Apparition
02-22-2011, 05:56 PM
Aim for the mountains.

Donger
02-22-2011, 06:04 PM
If you pull out, make sure you don't hit the ground, or you have to kill yourself.

I think.

mlyonsd
02-22-2011, 06:11 PM
If you pull out, make sure you don't hit the ground, or you have to kill yourself.

I think.The way I read that is only if you're doing your brother's wife. I'd have to say the rule is unclear for girlfriends or wives.

Useful Idiot
02-22-2011, 06:15 PM
God is in favor of the bukkake.

Pitt Gorilla
02-22-2011, 06:18 PM
If you pull out, make sure you don't hit the ground, or you have to kill yourself.

I think.Win. ROFL

pr_capone
02-22-2011, 06:28 PM
If you pull out, make sure you don't hit the ground, or you have to kill yourself.

I think.

ROFL

HolyHandgernade
02-22-2011, 06:47 PM
"Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm get wasted,
God gets quite irate!"

pr_capone
02-22-2011, 06:51 PM
"Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm get wasted,
God gets quite irate!"

your name is indeed fitting, good sir knight.

LaDairis
02-22-2011, 06:52 PM
When God gives you 10 commandments on 2 stone tablets, what God really wants you to do is smash the tablets and violate the first commandment at least 3000 times that evening...

Donger
02-22-2011, 06:54 PM
Well, thinking about this more, I don't think that "the ground" is the important part. I can't imagine the Torah saying "and he wasted his seed on her ass/belly/tits."

Bewbies
02-22-2011, 07:05 PM
Back in the old day if hubby died and didn't have any kids yet it was up to his brothers to carry on the family name with said wife.

How bad would that have been, for sis in law to bang her bros until one of em put a bun in the oven?

Discuss Thrower
02-22-2011, 10:42 PM
IIRC, this isn't a problem because of masturbation or pulling out, it's a problem because Onan had a religious obligation to give his brother's widow a child. Something about said brother being of the tribe of Levi.

EDIT: Yup, see above.

Count Alex's Losses
02-22-2011, 10:45 PM
This passage is often used against masturbation.

Useful Idiot
02-22-2011, 11:31 PM
How bad would that have been, for sis in law to bang her bros until one of em put a bun in the oven?

you've never seen my sis-in-law have you? woof.

teedubya
02-23-2011, 12:05 AM
God is in favor of the bukkake.

ROFL

teedubya
02-23-2011, 12:06 AM
Back in the old day if hubby died and didn't have any kids yet it was up to his brothers to carry on the family name with said wife.

How bad would that have been, for sis in law to bang her bros until one of em put a bun in the oven?

My sister in law is soooo hot. 5'11, huge firm boobs, great long legs... I wouldn't have a problem with it. lol

No. No pics. :evil:

Pioli Zombie
02-23-2011, 07:06 AM
if I woman masturbated me I wouldn't hold it against her.

Pioli Zombie
02-23-2011, 07:07 AM
Did anyone see the Curb Your Enthusiasm when Larry gets a massage he didn't know she was going to give him a happy ending?

Bewbies
02-23-2011, 07:42 AM
My sister in law is soooo hot. 5'11, huge firm boobs, great long legs... I wouldn't have a problem with it. lol

No. No pics. :evil:

You're the guy. Imagine not only grieving the loss of your husband, but also having to bang his brothers. Women sure as heck didn't, and still don't, get a fair shake over in the middle east.

HolyHandgernade
02-23-2011, 01:24 PM
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen... tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?

General Jack D. Ripper: [somewhat embarassed] Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.

General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.

General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.

General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.

talastan
02-23-2011, 02:15 PM
Research Kinsman Redeemer.