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View Full Version : Life I'm really depressed, and looking for CP's help *long read*


Silock
03-02-2011, 04:31 AM
I know this is a long read, and what I ask is an absolute longshot, but bear with me.

My wife and I picked up a dog from the shelter this weekend.

http://www.petango.com/sms/photos/798/93c5f806-c902-443b-8172-fe6342294e37.jpg

He's about 4.5 years old, crate and housebroken already. Knows a ton of commands, too.

They told us his first owner abused him. I'm not sure how, or how severe it was, though, because he doesn't show any signs of it. He's been adopted and returned to the shelter 3 times in a little over a year because he jumps fences. 6 foot fences apparently aren't a problem for him. But the families that adopted him KNEW that he jumps fences and then brought him back . . . because he jumped their fence.

Well, we picked him up on Saturday, and took him for an hour long walk. Went and grabbed our current resident dog to introduce them and take them on a walk together, which was another 45 minutes or so. Everything went great. They got along just fine, and seemed to enjoy running and playing with each other. They played with each other a lot when we got back to the house, and our dog just isn't the kind of dog that really wants to play with other dogs. We were amazed.

Then, we got him home, and did a little more training with him. A few treats in his crate, and he went in there willingly and without any prodding. He really liked it, too. He would just go in there and lay down and go to sleep if we left the door open.

He already knew a few commands, like "Sit" and "Come," but I started teaching him a few more, like "Shake" and "Stay." He picked those up within a few minutes. Really, really smart dog. He retained them even the next day without needing re-training. Awesome.

Then, the trouble started. The shelter said that a previous owner had cats and he was fine with them. Well, he wasn't fine with ours. At all. Our cats are used to dogs, so they weren't running from him (which would provoke a "chase" instinct). But he tried to go after all of them. Any time one was in the room with him, he never let his attention be swayed by anything -- not us, not treats, not toys... nothing. He would growl and bark and the hair on the back of his neck would stand up. Not good things at all.

We tried all kinds of ways to introduce them. We let him sniff things that they laid on all the time by putting them in his crate. We left him in his crate while they came in and sniffed. That didn't go well. Putting a cat in one of their crates and letting him greet them that way was the only option left to us, but that also has a very, very high likelihood of permanently traumatizing the cat if it doesn't go well. There were no indications that it would go well, and that would be really, REALLY unfair to the cat.

So, we knew we were going to have to return him. I know it's not an overnight thing. We went through it before with introducing our current dog to the cats, who were all there first. It took weeks with our current dog for her to get used to the cats. We went through it with a foster dog before that and our cats. We went through it when we brought our cats home to meet my boyhood dog (who has long since died). Introducing a dog to cats isn't a new experience for us.

This was completely different. That's why we brought in professional dog trainers to get their take on the situation. These trainers work with the animal shelter we adopted from, and were very familiar with the dog we adopted, as they had worked with him before. One of them was even there when we took our current dog to go meet the new dog to see how they got along. The trainers said there was nothing we could really do. Some dogs just aren't meant to get along with cats. That doesn't make them bad dogs; it's just nature for some dogs. His main breed is too much of a hunting dog, and there wasn't a way to overcome his "prey" instinct. It wasn't fair to the cats to constantly stress them out with the dog, and if they ever got in a fight, the cats could not only injure him, but he would win that fight, even if he lost an eye or two to cats' claws in the process. Not a good situation. Not fair to the cats, to the new dog, or us. Shitty situation.

So, I took him for a really long walk on Monday afternoon as kind of a "farewell" walk. He did so awesome on the leash. Even let him run around the park a little bit, and he loved it. I hadn't let him up on the couch since we got him, but the last night, I slept on the couch and let him come up and lay down with me all night, and I cuddled him like a stuffed animal. He was such a gentle, sweet dog in all respects except our cats. Every hour or so, he'd move around a little bit, tilt his head up and give me a lick on the cheek and then go back to sleep.

My wife was so devastated when we took him back that she had to reschedule her work appointments because she couldn't stop crying. We only had him for such a short time, but he was such a great, loving dog that we and he bonded really quickly. I really, really miss him. We are going back to the shelter to get another dog and try again, but my wife has already said that she won't walk past the area that he's in because she doesn't want to see him for fear of her just breaking down crying again. Have I mentioned how awesome this dog is? I kept his crate here in the office with me, and I look over at the empty crate and just get this super-sad feeling washing over me because I wish he were in it, all curled up sleeping like he loved to do. Ugh. I'm emo.

So, if you or someone you know of is looking for a dog, please tell them about this dog. He just has a very, very specific set of needs:

No cats
No small children (they startle him too much, and it stresses him out... might be a result of the abusive first owner)
Can't be left alone outside (again, the prey drive in him makes him want to chase things, and he WILL jump fences)
Needs to be taken on a walk (preferably run) every day
If he were on a farm or a large plot of land that he could run around on, that would be even better (probably ideal)
He'd make a fantastic hunting dog, if you're into that sort of thing

So, if you know of someone that's looking for a dog like that, please adopt this dog. He deserves so very badly to go to a good home. We thought that home was ours, and we're absolutely devastated that it didn't work out. He really is a sweetheart dog.

Again, if you know of anyone that would be a good fit for this guy, please contact Wayside Waifs (http://www.waysidewaifs.org/site/PageServer?pagename=contactus). He is absolutely worth it.

I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now :deevee:

Oh, and "cats suck, give them antifreeze, throw them in a burning AIDS tree" blah blah blah.

DeezNutz
03-02-2011, 05:37 AM
Hang in there, man. You were obviously trying to do the right thing, but you're in a no-win situation with that specific dog.

Not your fault, and he'll find a great new home that fits his particular needs.

Simply Red
03-02-2011, 06:03 AM
Could've at least photo'd 'come at me bro' over laying his pic.

Naw man, in all seriousness, animal abusers have some problems. Unfortunately @ times, the animal that was abused only already understands humans to be 'mean' - I really have zero tolerance for animal abuse.

Count Zarth
03-02-2011, 06:06 AM
Shoot the cats.

Iowanian
03-02-2011, 06:32 AM
So....

You're this upset because a dog you've had for 5 minutes, that you were told was an asshole....is an asshole?

I suggest in effort to find your center, you read a couple of the sticky threads and see what a real problem is, put your big boy pants back on, and have the dog put down and move on with your day.

Jenson71
03-02-2011, 06:48 AM
You sure you gave him enough time to get acclimated with the cats?

JD10367
03-02-2011, 06:55 AM
A friend of my dad's had some large husky/shepherd/grizzlybear mix. He brought the dog home as a puppy, and he had a cat in the house. This cat took no shit from this puppy. It would swat him on the nose if he came near the cat and the puppy would yelp and run. Eventually the cat thawed and the two bonded.

The dog grew very large, and very mean. It was extremely protective of the guy to the point where he would growl at the guy's wife. It would go outside and fight and kill other dogs. But above all, it hated cats with a passion. It would snack on them for lunch. It would tear them up like a puppy shaking a wet newspaper. No joke. The sight of a cat, outside, would send the dog into a rage.

And yet, when this dog came home, here was this now 18-year-old cat, shaky, weak, slow-moving. And this dog loved that cat above everything. He would curl around it, sleep with it, and if you dare come near the cat you'd get a deep growl and a mouthful of teeth staring at you. When the cat died, the dog was morose and inconsolable. It just didn't associate the things outside with the thing in its house. So maybe that dog you had was raised with the cats he was familiar with.

Fritz88
03-02-2011, 06:58 AM
Post this in reddit.com. Many people do just that and it works out. Many times. Just post it under the reddit subreddit.

Another option, lose the cats.
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Fritz88
03-02-2011, 06:59 AM
Could've at least photo'd 'come at me bro' over laying his pic.

Naw man, in all seriousness, animal abusers have some problems. Unfortunately @ times, the animal that was abused only already understands humans to be 'mean' - I really have zero tolerance for animal abuse.
You can "abuse" me all the time.
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Count Zarth
03-02-2011, 07:22 AM
craigslist...

Frazod
03-02-2011, 08:26 AM
Seems like you might be better off getting a puppy and raising it right.

Bweb
03-02-2011, 08:40 AM
Man this place is slipping....post number into the teens and I am the first in with the obligatory Cat = Antifreeze! :shake:

tooge
03-02-2011, 08:48 AM
go back and get him. You dont "return" a dog. WTF? If one of your kids picked on the other, would you "return" it? Put the cats in the basement, or the dog in the yard in a kennel. Make it work.

The Bad Guy
03-02-2011, 08:54 AM
So....

You're this upset because a dog you've had for 5 minutes, that you were told was an asshole....is an asshole?

I suggest in effort to find your center, you read a couple of the sticky threads and see what a real problem is, put your big boy pants back on, and have the dog put down and move on with your day.


I hate to be insensitive about animals, but this.

Pestilence
03-02-2011, 10:01 AM
How long have you had the cat?

Pitt Gorilla
03-02-2011, 10:04 AM
Man this place is slipping....post number into the teens and I am the first in with the obligatory Cat = Antifreeze! :shake:That would have been my contribution.

ClevelandBronco
03-02-2011, 10:07 AM
So when you go back to the shelter and the dog isn't there, and they tell you that everything's cool because "he went to live on a farm where he can run around more," you're going to believe that shit?

Cave Johnson
03-02-2011, 10:08 AM
At least they told you he jumps fences. The rescue agency I got my English Cocker from failed to disclose that until I was picking him up in Indiana. He could vault over my 4' gate at will but hasn't done so in a while.

For the record, sounds like a difficult dog that needs to be out in the country. The reality is, that limits his adoptability.

J Diddy
03-02-2011, 10:10 AM
Man this place is slipping....post number into the teens and I am the first in with the obligatory Cat = Antifreeze! :shake:

Yeah he posted it in the OP.

Repost.

J Diddy
03-02-2011, 10:11 AM
Post this in reddit.com. Many people do just that and it works out. Many times. Just post it under the reddit subreddit.

Another option, lose the cats.
Posted via Mobile Device

Keep the cats around and make them take their place in the evolutionary chain.

cats=dogs chew toys

Detoxing
03-02-2011, 10:18 AM
Ditch the cats. Disloyal little bastards anyway.

Pants
03-02-2011, 10:22 AM
Cats + cage + bathtub full of water. Not that hard, really.

Rudy lost the toss
03-02-2011, 10:27 AM
Ive always wanted a dog that Id constantly have to keep from mauling the local children

Phobia
03-02-2011, 10:34 AM
Dog food gets expensive, especially when you have multiple dogs. Those cats could have fed your dog for weeks. I would go back and get him and then put a medal on his chest for ridding my house of worthless felines.

morphius
03-02-2011, 10:34 AM
A friend of my dad's had some large husky/shepherd/grizzlybear mix. He brought the dog home as a puppy, and he had a cat in the house. This cat took no shit from this puppy. It would swat him on the nose if he came near the cat and the puppy would yelp and run. Eventually the cat thawed and the two bonded.

The dog grew very large, and very mean. It was extremely protective of the guy to the point where he would growl at the guy's wife. It would go outside and fight and kill other dogs. But above all, it hated cats with a passion. It would snack on them for lunch. It would tear them up like a puppy shaking a wet newspaper. No joke. The sight of a cat, outside, would send the dog into a rage.

And yet, when this dog came home, here was this now 18-year-old cat, shaky, weak, slow-moving. And this dog loved that cat above everything. He would curl around it, sleep with it, and if you dare come near the cat you'd get a deep growl and a mouthful of teeth staring at you. When the cat died, the dog was morose and inconsolable. It just didn't associate the things outside with the thing in its house. So maybe that dog you had was raised with the cats he was familiar with.
Yeah, we have a lab and 2 cats and had the cats before the dog. The dog never had a single issue with our cats, though one of the cats took a long time to warm up to having a big ass dog running around the house. Heck, the oldest and smallest cat sleeps on the dogs head and the dog just takes it. But one sight of the neighbors out door cat just sends my dog into growling inside the house and barking outside.

tooge
03-02-2011, 10:54 AM
man and dog have evolved together for millions of years. It's only been in the last few hundred that cats stopped eating us or our children on a regular basis. Do the math

Silock
03-02-2011, 12:09 PM
So....

You're this upset because a dog you've had for 5 minutes, that you were told was an asshole....is an asshole?

I suggest in effort to find your center, you read a couple of the sticky threads and see what a real problem is, put your big boy pants back on, and have the dog put down and move on with your day.

I know it's not the end of the world. But just because there are things in this world which are sadder than this doesn't mean that you can't be sad about lesser things, too.

It just sucks because this dog deserves a good home. You never know who might be out there looking for a dog like this, especially here where there are lots of guys into hunting, or have a little bit of land.

Silock
03-02-2011, 12:11 PM
go back and get him. You dont "return" a dog. WTF? If one of your kids picked on the other, would you "return" it? Put the cats in the basement, or the dog in the yard in a kennel. Make it work.

Putting a dog that jumps fences in a backyard unsupervised would be incredibly irresponsible. It would be impossible to confine the cats and dog at all times, no matter what. Eventually, there would be a problem, and someone would get hurt.

Phobia
03-02-2011, 12:14 PM
It would be impossible to confine the cats and dog at all times, no matter what. Eventually, there would be a problem, and someone would get hurt.
This is why Wayside Waifs gave you this dog. They're trying to reduce the feline population in KC. If you share this vision, please consider donating to Wayside Waifs today.

MOhillbilly
03-02-2011, 12:19 PM
At least they told you he jumps fences. The rescue agency I got my English Cocker from failed to disclose that until I was picking him up in Indiana. He could vault over my 4' gate at will but hasn't done so in a while.

For the record, sounds like a difficult dog that needs to be out in the country. The reality is, that limits his adoptability.

This.
I had a pitbull rescue that would scale a 6 ft fence with 20 pound weight around its neck.
I didnt cry when she was stolen....cowshit eatin/rollin motherfr

Silock
03-02-2011, 12:19 PM
This is why Wayside Waifs gave you this dog. They're trying to reduce the feline population in KC. If you share this vision, please consider donating to Wayside Waifs today.

lol "Must spread rep before giving to Phobia again."

Rain Man
03-02-2011, 12:20 PM
I'm sure sorry to hear about the problems. Unfortunately, the dog is new and he has to learn to coexist with the cats. I'm glad that you're looking out for the cats, because they rely on you for that. If the dog can't deal with them, then the dog needs to find a new home, as sad as that is.

When our 12 year old cat passed away, that left us with only one cat. We'd like to get another cat or maybe even a dog, because we're really good pet parents, but our worry is that our remaining cat (18 years old) would have trouble adjusting. It would kill me to adopt a pet and then have to give him up for that reason, so we're just going to be a one-cat family from now on.

MOhillbilly
03-02-2011, 12:23 PM
man and dog have evolved together for millions of years. It's only been in the last few hundred that cats stopped eating us or our children on a regular basis. Do the math

Ok. Cats, zero. Mohillbilly & Moxie, billions and billions served.

RockChalk
03-02-2011, 12:28 PM
I'm not a cat person, but my girlfriend and I have one (it was hers when we moved in together), along with two dogs. I never have been a cat person, but after he warmed up to me and the dogs, he's actually pretty cool. Plus I don't really have to worry much about him, other than occasionally putting food into his bowl and dumping the litterbox.

Too bad the dog didn't work out. I guess it was so bad that you didn't think he (the dog) would mellow out after a few weeks? I only ask because my lab was about 16 months old when he moved in with that cat. At first, he was obsessed with the cat and always wanted to chase him, but after a couple of weeks, he lost interest. Now they play with each other most of the time and he only chases the cat if teased (like any male will do)

Cave Johnson
03-02-2011, 12:32 PM
man and dog have evolved together for millions of years. It's only been in the last few hundred that cats stopped eating us or our children on a regular basis. Do the math

Close. The fossil record on dogs only goes back 10,000 years or so, but mitochondrial DNA suggests they began splitting from wolves 100,000 years ago.

Iowanian
03-02-2011, 03:28 PM
Prepare to be sadder.

I don't really want to be Debbie Downer at your pity party, but hunters who want a hunting dog won't want to be within 25 yards of your dog, unless it's to get rid of it for you. Hunters want dogs from excellent pedigree, with specific traits, that do what they are told on command.

Have you ever heard the expression "you can't teach an old dog new tricks"?

It's unfortunate that it isn't working out, but if 3 people have given up on the mutt, and you're ready to this quickly, I think the solution is obvious.

I know it's not the end of the world. But just because there are things in this world which are sadder than this doesn't mean that you can't be sad about lesser things, too.

It just sucks because this dog deserves a good home. You never know who might be out there looking for a dog like this, especially here where there are lots of guys into hunting, or have a little bit of land.

Silock
03-02-2011, 03:37 PM
Prepare to be sadder.

I don't really want to be Debbie Downer at your pity party, but hunters who want a hunting dog won't want to be within 25 yards of your dog, unless it's to get rid of it for you. Hunters want dogs from excellent pedigree, with specific traits, that do what they are told on command.

Have you ever heard the expression "you can't teach an old dog new tricks"?

It's unfortunate that it isn't working out, but if 3 people have given up on the mutt, and you're ready to this quickly, I think the solution is obvious.

But you can teach an old dog new tricks. I did it with this dog, and with our other rescue dog that was an adult when we got her. The issue was a prey drive that was too strong. We could control it with him on a leash when we were around, but we can't always be around.

And sure, some hunters may want a specific breed, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't do okay in a hunting dog role. His main breed was a north African hunting dog, so he's got the instincts for it. I do think he'd do better on a farm or somewhere with lots of land for him to run around on, though.

The other people gave up on him because he jumped fences when left alone outside all day. Not exactly a shocking development there for a dog with a prey drive like that. And we didn't "give up" on him. We were forced to give him back because to do otherwise would have resulted in a dead cat and/or injured dog. That's not at all fair to either party. When you have professional trainers with experience with that specific dog telling you that it's best he goes back, you should probably listen. To do otherwise would be irresponsible.

Gonzo
03-02-2011, 03:40 PM
Prepare to be sadder.

I don't really want to be Debbie Downer at your pity party, but hunters who want a hunting dog won't want to be within 25 yards of your dog, unless it's to get rid of it for you. Hunters want dogs from excellent pedigree, with specific traits, that do what they are told on command.

Have you ever heard the expression "you can't teach an old dog new tricks"?

It's unfortunate that it isn't working out, but if 3 people have given up on the mutt, and you're ready to this quickly, I think the solution is obvious.

That a way to crush him, man. You already depressed the shit out of him but this post right here...
Well, it was the kill shot. Nice work.

Okie_Apparition
03-02-2011, 04:33 PM
Take#2: Fuck the dog, get back into you & your wife's bed. On a side note, an old woman died in France today.

Crush
03-02-2011, 04:56 PM
Take#2: Fuck the dog, get back into you & your wife's bed. On a side note, an old woman died in France today.


Hey LaChapelle/Blue Balls, go fuck an AIDS tree.

JASONSAUTO
03-02-2011, 04:59 PM
Rhodesian ridgeback?

L looks like he's got some of that blood in him maybe.
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JASONSAUTO
03-02-2011, 05:00 PM
blue balls is getting way the fuck out there. TBH
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Gonzo
03-02-2011, 05:38 PM
blue balls is getting way the fuck out there. TBH
Posted via Mobile Device

It won't
Be long until
He
Posts like
This, I'm
Sure.
Posted via Mobile Device

loochy
03-02-2011, 05:54 PM
Shoot the cats.

Ditch the cats. Disloyal little bastards anyway.

Cats + cage + bathtub full of water. Not that hard, really.

These.

Stupid cats.

Okie_Apparition
03-02-2011, 06:14 PM
That is the going rate. Buy it from someone esle cheaper ROFL

JASONSAUTO
03-02-2011, 06:17 PM
I wish he was back to that guy. Fucked up rep messages. Fucked up posts. Blue balls please return and get rid of this fucking weirdoIt won't
Be long until
He
Posts like
This, I'm
Sure.
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Posted via Mobile Device