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Count Alex's Wins
03-08-2011, 03:30 PM
http://www.seattlepi.com/local/436750_hopes08.html?source=rss


Study: Parents exaggerate joy of parenthood (Toronto Sun)


By LEVI PULKKINEN
SEATTLEPI.COM STAFF

A Canadian university study found that parents often overstate the rewards of child rearing to justify the costs, according to a Toronto Sun report.

Researchers at Ontario's University of Waterloo found that parents who'd been shown the financial costs of raising children were more likely to talk about the happiness their kids deliver, according to the Sun report. Parents shown the long-term benefits of procreation -- chiefly support in old age -- were less inclined to do so.

According to the Sun report:

The testing measured their idealization of parenthood while also looking at their discomfort and uneasiness during the course of the reading and interview questions.

"Although raising children has largely negative effects on parents' emotional well-being, parenthood is often idealized as a uniquely emotionally rewarding role," the study says.

Previous research has found during the years most people spend parenting, they tend to report lower life satisfaction and less happiness.

Click the following link (http://www.torontosun.com/life/2011/03/04/17493731.html) for the whole story on parenting happiness, or lack thereof.

Parents often exaggerate the joys of parenthood as a way to mentally justify how much money the kids are costing them, a new study says.

Researchers at the University of Waterloo found the rewards of raising children are often a myth.

The researchers divided 80 parents into two groups.

One group was given reading material that says it costs about $185,000 to raise a child to 18. The other group was asked to read about the long-term benefits of being a parent, including financial and practical support in old age.

In follow-up interviews, the parents who were asked to read about the cost of children were more likely to talk about the happiness their children bring to their lives and to say they enjoy spending time with them.

The testing measured their idealization of parenthood while also looking at their discomfort and uneasiness during the course of the reading and interview questions.

"Although raising children has largely negative effects on parents' emotional well-being, parenthood is often idealized as a uniquely emotionally rewarding role," the study says.

Previous research has found during the years most people spend parenting, they tend to report lower life satisfaction and less happiness.

The idealization is a form of psychological defence parents use to cope with the downsides, the researchers say.

Idealizing parenthood is a modern phenomenon, the researchers argue. It developed during the 20th century as children began to play a less important role in helping earn a family's income and performing labour at home.

But while children are contributing less to a household, they are costing more to raise, the study says.

"Our findings help to resolve this paradox by demonstrating that the costs of raising children motivate parents to idealize parenthood," the study argues.

The study is published in the journal Psychological Science.

Dayze
03-08-2011, 03:34 PM
get yo' popcorn ready.

Donger
03-08-2011, 03:36 PM
Duh, losing. The is aboot Canadian kids.

DTLB58
03-08-2011, 03:39 PM
http://www.seattlepi.com/local/436750_hopes08.html?source=rss

I love my kids dearly, but I wouldn't tell my kids to have kids these days. With all the crap in schools, the rate of divorce, it is really stressful.

salame
03-08-2011, 03:42 PM
not winning

Dayze
03-08-2011, 03:49 PM
at this point, it's either plan for retirement, or have kids at this point. we probably should tried to have kids earlier etc, but oh well.

we're turning 34/35 this summer and while not 'old' etc, I don't think I want to go down the road of parenthood. we wouldn't be in a decent position to do so financially for another 4-5 years at least. by that point.....pass. I want to retire someday.

I'm stressed out and broke as is. lol

Sofa King
03-08-2011, 03:52 PM
at this point, it's either plan for retirement, or have kids at this point. we probably should tried to have kids earlier etc, but oh well.

we're turning 34/35 this summer and while not 'old' etc, I don't think I want to go down the road of parenthood. we wouldn't be in a decent position to do so financially for another 4-5 years at least. by that point.....pass. I want to retire someday.

I'm stressed out and broke as is. lol

Isn't that why people have kids? for government money?

kepp
03-08-2011, 04:20 PM
I'm stressed out and broke as is. lol

Kids definitely do put a strain on the pocketbook.

DTLB58
03-08-2011, 04:37 PM
For example I just spent an hour last night and another half hour today trying to convince my son (18) why it's a bad idea for him to take his gf (16) out of town 60 miles away to shop for her prom dress for a day.

No, I'm not putting my son in the position to have a minor female in his truck and in another town all day and maybe into the evening. Any number of things could happen or the girl could say happened.....

Her parent's haven't even signed off on it yet (I don't know why they would, I wouldn't) Makes me really wonder though cause he is extremly upset that me and his mother said NO! Yes he is 18 but he is still in HS, still lives at home, thus still has to ask for permission.

4th and Long
03-08-2011, 04:44 PM
Another craptastic stroy from America's hat.

CrazyPhuD
03-08-2011, 04:52 PM
How can you put a price on being able to say. 'I changed your shitty diapers, now you have to change mine!'

wazu
03-08-2011, 05:10 PM
at this point, it's either plan for retirement, or have kids at this point. we probably should tried to have kids earlier etc, but oh well.

we're turning 34/35 this summer and while not 'old' etc, I don't think I want to go down the road of parenthood. we wouldn't be in a decent position to do so financially for another 4-5 years at least. by that point.....pass. I want to retire someday.

I'm stressed out and broke as is. lol

Always hear this. In my case it turned out to not be accurate. My wife and I went out all the time before kids. Kids made having dinner in a restaurant an arduous experience not worth the effort, so we eat at home now. The money saved more than offsets what the new expenses are so far.

DJ's left nut
03-08-2011, 05:13 PM
Always hear this. In my case it turned out to not be accurate. My wife and I went out all the time before kids. Kids made having dinner in a restaurant an arduous experience not worth the effort, so we eat at home now. The money saved more than offsets what the new expenses are so far.

"My kids made the things we used to enjoy doing together intolerable, so now we don't do them...WIN!!"

I'm going to lose the argument with my wife and I'm going to lose it handily, but there's just no way you can convince me that children are anything other than a net neutral. Sure, they have some upsides, but they have absolute downsides as well and parents can't ever bring themselves to confess this fact (as it makes them seem somewhat unfit).

Anyone with an eye for reading people can see that there are many, MANY unhappy parents in the world.

The Bad Guy
03-08-2011, 05:41 PM
29 year olds living at home with no real job suck.

The Bad Guy
03-08-2011, 05:43 PM
"My kids made the things we used to enjoy doing together intolerable, so now we don't do them...WIN!!"

I'm going to lose the argument with my wife and I'm going to lose it handily, but there's just no way you can convince me that children are anything other than a net neutral. Sure, they have some upsides, but they have absolute downsides as well and parents can't ever bring themselves to confess this fact (as it makes them seem somewhat unfit).

Anyone with an eye for reading people can see that there are many, MANY unhappy parents in the world.

Absolutely there are unhappy parents in this world. They are the ones who didn't think the whole situation through and thought of kids as more of a novelty instead of the massive responsibility that comes with them.

No way are kids ever a profitable sitaution unless they are filming commericals.

Baconeater
03-08-2011, 05:45 PM
I love my son dearly, but the day he moves out of my house for good I will literally be jumping for joy.

'Hamas' Jenkins
03-08-2011, 05:49 PM
Some of it is a chemical response.

BucEyedPea
03-08-2011, 05:55 PM
at this point, it's either plan for retirement, or have kids at this point. we probably should tried to have kids earlier etc, but oh well.

we're turning 34/35 this summer and while not 'old' etc, I don't think I want to go down the road of parenthood. we wouldn't be in a decent position to do so financially for another 4-5 years at least. by that point.....pass. I want to retire someday.

I'm stressed out and broke as is. lol

Children were once considered wealth. If we stop thinking only in terms of the nuclear family but the extended family we'd think of them as wealth again.

Okie_Apparition
03-08-2011, 05:59 PM
"My kids made the things we used to enjoy doing together intolerable, so now we don't do them...WIN!!"

I'm going to lose the argument with my wife and I'm going to lose it handily, but there's just no way you can convince me that children are anything other than a net neutral. Sure, they have some upsides, but they have absolute downsides as well and parents can't ever bring themselves to confess this fact (as it makes them seem somewhat unfit).

Anyone with an eye for reading people can see that there are many, MANY unhappy parents in the world.

Children must pay for the sins of their parents. If you have no children, your sins go unpaid for. Then the balance of the world is tilted towards hell. After death you will not lie in slumber, you will roam those sins. And see the consequences. Or you could just come back a Phelps.

RubberSponge
03-08-2011, 06:00 PM
Hard for me to look at my kids as a cost-benefit equation.

Might as well tell the little fuggers that you would like them better if they would just be a tad bit cheaper. Love you too, dad.

Shaid
03-08-2011, 06:05 PM
Yes, children cost you money and that really sucks sometimes but I'll gladly pay it to have my 1 year old son run up and hug my leg every time I come home.

By the way, we also helped raise another kid who is now about to turn 20 and considers us his parents. That also cost us time and effort but I still think the benefits far exceed the cost even after going through the years where they always think they're right.

dannybcaitlyn
03-08-2011, 07:50 PM
On the bright side. It's fun making them.

Dayze
03-08-2011, 08:29 PM
don't get me wrong, we wanted kids; always sort of put it off for 'one more year' etc...and sh*t/life happened etc to where we were always behind the 8 ball so to speak.

now we've delayed it for so long, we just don't feel by the time we 'right' our financial ship and get our own stuff squared away, that we'll have the motivation for parenthood.

Not ruling it out, but I'd say the chances are slim.

Rain Man
03-08-2011, 08:58 PM
Yes, children cost you money and that really sucks sometimes but I'll gladly pay it to have my 1 year old son run up and hug my leg every time I come home.


I'll run up and hug your leg for half his cost. No kissing, though.

Just Passin' By
03-08-2011, 09:02 PM
No way are kids ever a profitable sitaution unless they are filming commericals.

You're just not selling them to the right foreigners.

Rain Man
03-08-2011, 09:06 PM
I hear that it's different if it's your own kid, but 99.8 percent of the time that I see a parent with a young child, I'm glad it's them and not me.