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Count Alex's Wins
03-16-2011, 07:39 PM
WTF

Came from local police.

1st Notice Issued By Law Enforcement Officer

VIOLATION NOTICE ANIMAL CRUELTY

IMMEDIATELY CONTACT SERGEANT HARDASS

Texas Penal Code 42.092

5. Kills, seriously injures, or administers poison to an animal, other than cattle, horses, sheep, swine, or goats, belonging to another without legal authority or the owner's consent.

Note - have received numerous complaints. Please call me so that these can be cleared up. Thanks.

WTF

I haven't done anything...a few months ago I threw some crap at a few ducks in a pond a few times....other than that....:spock:

Buck
03-16-2011, 07:40 PM
Good night sweet prince.

bevischief
03-16-2011, 07:40 PM
WTF

Came from local police.



WTF

I haven't done anything...a few months ago I threw some crap at a few ducks in a pond a few times....other than that....:spock:

This will not end well for you...

Easy 6
03-16-2011, 07:41 PM
WTF

Came from local police.



WTF

I haven't done anything...a few months ago I threw some crap at a few ducks in a pond a few times....other than that....:spock:

They're onto you, they know that serial killers usually start with animals...

Delano
03-16-2011, 07:41 PM
YES SIR SERGEANT HARDASS SIR!

Pants
03-16-2011, 07:41 PM
You're the obvious suspect as the serial dog rapist who's been terrorizing the neighborhood. Just tell them the truth: you're into trannies, not dogs.

kstater
03-16-2011, 07:41 PM
Dumbass

Baconeater
03-16-2011, 07:42 PM
Eh, just ignore it.

SPchief
03-16-2011, 07:43 PM
Does it have your name on it?

Gonzo
03-16-2011, 07:43 PM
AFLAC?
Posted via Mobile Device

Bump
03-16-2011, 07:45 PM
you've been going around putting peanut butter on your dick and having the neighbors dog lick it off, haven't you? You sick son of a bitch.

bevischief
03-16-2011, 07:45 PM
AFLAC?
Posted via Mobile Device

ROFL

SNR
03-16-2011, 07:45 PM
http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd233/NakeBenihime/Lol%20Cats/TehHonorableJudgeCatmine.jpg

KurtCobain
03-16-2011, 07:45 PM
They're gonna get you dude.

LiveSteam
03-16-2011, 07:53 PM
Think with the head on your shoulders,not the head in your pants.
Now you will be on the list,& you wont be able to live within a 1000 yards of a farm.

Deberg_1990
03-16-2011, 07:53 PM
Glad they finally caught you.

cookster50
03-16-2011, 07:53 PM
Hope you enjoy "Pound You In The Butt" prison!

Count Alex's Wins
03-16-2011, 07:53 PM
I usually grab the neighbor's cat and twirl it around by it's tail when I go for walks....could this be related?

Buck
03-16-2011, 07:54 PM
The same thing happened to Mr. Blond a few years back. True story.

Marcellus
03-16-2011, 08:08 PM
Probably something to do with the thread you started about Women Taking Over The World.

Chocolate Hog
03-16-2011, 08:11 PM
Wheres Hogfarmer

Over-Head
03-16-2011, 08:16 PM
WTF

Came from local police.



WTF

I haven't done anything...a few months ago I threw some crap at a few ducks in a pond a few times....other than that....:spock:
DUDE!!! Fucking your parents cat is just wrong!!!!

keg in kc
03-16-2011, 08:19 PM
There's a chicken choking joke in here somewhere.

Iowanian
03-16-2011, 08:19 PM
They're going to bend you over on Rainbow bridge, and let all of the PETA freaks have a go at you.

Phobia
03-16-2011, 08:24 PM
I'd say the blinds aren't working as well as you thought they would. Now we know why you and your pops like big dogs.

Hog Farmer
03-16-2011, 08:27 PM
You have been trapped !

Superturtle
03-16-2011, 08:27 PM
<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Xgdw6TMhGkA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

WV
03-16-2011, 08:29 PM
And you thought the sheep kicked hard!

Frazod
03-16-2011, 08:36 PM
Send them some of your Travis Bickle pics. That should assuage their serial killer fears. :D

FAX
03-16-2011, 08:38 PM
Well, the good news is that you're free to have your way with cattle, horses, sheep, swine, or goats.

FAX

Huffmeister
03-16-2011, 08:40 PM
What the hell? This thread is into its second page and no one has made an antifreeze joke? For shame.

RJ
03-16-2011, 08:43 PM
Fucking bleeding heart, liberal duck-huggers.

Crush
03-16-2011, 08:45 PM
So, you were the one that came on Kurt Cobain's dog?

Captain Obvious
03-16-2011, 08:46 PM
I bet it was a female police officer that wrote you up.

Count Alex's Wins
03-16-2011, 08:47 PM
I bet it was a female police officer that wrote you up.

Fuckin bitches trying to make money.

acesn8s
03-16-2011, 09:02 PM
I tried to tell you that spanking your money was not right. Now look, the law is coming down on you.

JD10367
03-16-2011, 09:03 PM
For the last time. "Neigh" means "neigh".

Mr. Laz
03-16-2011, 09:16 PM
For the last time. "Neigh" means "neigh".

:LOL:

DMAC
03-16-2011, 09:17 PM
Sounds like an internet prank if you ask me.

teedubya
03-16-2011, 09:21 PM
Time to change your name to ClayVick?

Chocolate Hog
03-16-2011, 09:28 PM
Travis got him.

Chief Chief
03-16-2011, 09:30 PM
Hey, it's only the 1st notice; you got several more to go before the Sarge gets serious with his penal...code.

Chiefs=Good
03-16-2011, 09:59 PM
quick hide the nfl films, film!

DTLB58
03-17-2011, 12:11 AM
WTF

Came from local police.



WTF

I haven't done anything...a few months ago I threw some crap at a few ducks in a pond a few times....other than that....:spock:

Antifreeze?

JOhn
03-17-2011, 12:40 AM
If you need character witnesses just show them this thread ROFL

BIG_DADDY
03-17-2011, 12:41 AM
If you need character witnesses just show them this thread ROFL

Or the one about them damn bitches.

BillSelfsTrophycase
03-17-2011, 12:49 AM
NSFW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgnh1zg7ULI

HoneyBadger
03-17-2011, 12:55 AM
Oh, they received all the "complaints" I've been sending in about you. Finally.

J Diddy
03-17-2011, 01:00 AM
The chicken lover strikes again.

RubberSponge
03-17-2011, 02:10 AM
Heh. Who knew that they even had animal cruely laws in Texas.

Thig Lyfe
03-17-2011, 02:21 AM
They backtraced you.

blaise
03-17-2011, 06:20 AM
Sgt Hardass?

JD10367
03-17-2011, 08:35 AM
What next? His Fleshlight<sup>TM</sup> going to file a restraining order?

Sofa King
03-17-2011, 08:40 AM
Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses!

Rausch
03-17-2011, 08:42 AM
Time to change your name to ClayVick?

WIINAR!

/Voting....LMAO

Reerun_KC
03-17-2011, 08:47 AM
Not surprised at this, not in the least...

Iowanian
03-17-2011, 09:16 AM
Is this related to excess flogging of a dolphin?

Rausch
03-17-2011, 09:16 AM
Not surprised at this, not in the least...

I've seen Dexter, this is how it always starts...:(

Reerun_KC
03-17-2011, 09:18 AM
I've seen Dexter, this is how it always starts...:(

Pretty much.... All the signs are there....

NewChief
03-17-2011, 09:56 AM
Antifreeze. (I'm sure it's been said already).

Count Alex's Wins
03-17-2011, 10:07 AM
ROFL

This is all over a fake craigslist ad I posted for lulz....

Sofa King
03-17-2011, 10:10 AM
yeah, sure buddy. whatever you say.

Count Alex's Wins
03-17-2011, 10:19 AM
You are completely justified in killing any strays that come on to your property.

I am a part-time cat bounty hunter. People like you, who don't have all day to wait around for cats to trespass, hire me to get rid of their problem. Like any real bounty hunter, I have a license to discharge firearms in residential areas.

Typically what I'll do is set up a perimeter in your yard with motion-sensing equipment. Then I'll get in a high position with my laptop, which is linked to the equipment and shows your yard in a grid. If there's no high position to be found, I have an elevated foldaway blind I can construct.

A little .22 with a good scope is all I use. That's enough to kill any cat known to mankind, unless you're talking about big cats, of course. Cats are pretty fucking stupid when they think no one is around, so on a good day I can neutralize as many as 8 or 9 of them. It really just depends on how many feline delinquents (that's the professional term) are running around your neighborhood. My personal record is 17.

I take care of the cats, dispose of the bodies and it's like I was never there. I charge by the kill, with a flat fee of $250. I document each kill with photographs, so you'll know you aren't being overbilled.

I am not liable if any of your own pets step into the danger zone. Keep them locked up while I am on the job, because when I set up a perimeter, it's a kill zone. Squirrels are usually collateral damage.

If you're interested in a more humane method, I do offer a tranquilizer special, but its more expensive. Bullets are cheap. Just like the life of a cat.

Brock
03-17-2011, 10:20 AM
The sad thing is, you don't have sense or maturity enough to be embarrassed.

BigCatDaddy
03-17-2011, 10:21 AM
You are completely justified in killing any strays that come on to your property.

I am a part-time cat bounty hunter. People like you, who don't have all day to wait around for cats to trespass, hire me to get rid of their problem. Like any real bounty hunter, I have a license to discharge firearms in residential areas.

Typically what I'll do is set up a perimeter in your yard with motion-sensing equipment. Then I'll get in a high position with my laptop, which is linked to the equipment and shows your yard in a grid. If there's no high position to be found, I have an elevated foldaway blind I can construct.

A little .22 with a good scope is all I use. That's enough to kill any cat known to mankind, unless you're talking about big cats, of course. Cats are pretty ****ing stupid when they think no one is around, so on a good day I can neutralize as many as 8 or 9 of them. It really just depends on how many feline delinquents (that's the professional term) are running around your neighborhood. My personal record is 17.

I take care of the cats, dispose of the bodies and it's like I was never there. I charge by the kill, with a flat fee of $250. I document each kill with photographs, so you'll know you aren't being overbilled.

I am not liable if any of your own pets step into the danger zone. Keep them locked up while I am on the job, because when I set up a perimeter, it's a kill zone. Squirrels are usually collateral damage.

If you're interested in a more humane method, I do offer a tranquilizer special, but its more expensive. Bullets are cheap. Just like the life of a cat.


And you put that on Craigslist for fun?

Count Alex's Wins
03-17-2011, 10:22 AM
The sad thing is, you don't have sense or maturity enough to be embarrassed.

I think it's hilarious....

This all started over on Offtopic.com. That was originally a reply to a thread titled "how do you kill neighborhood cats?"

Someone said I should post it on craigslist for the lulz and hilarity ensued.

In fact some redneck e-mailed me wanting a hit on a cat. ROFL

RubberSponge
03-17-2011, 10:27 AM
Sounds like a very easy way to get put on your local PD's strange ranger list.

This could be you someday.

Valiant
03-17-2011, 10:43 AM
I think it's hilarious....

This all started over on Offtopic.com. That was originally a reply to a thread titled "how do you kill neighborhood cats?"

Someone said I should post it on craigslist for the lulz and hilarity ensued.

In fact some redneck e-mailed me wanting a hit on a cat. ROFL

Your level of dumb on this is beyond words.

Count Alex's Wins
03-17-2011, 10:48 AM
ROFL. The snitch:

Doesn't matter. I was getting phone calls and emails from other rescuers who were so upset by the posting who knew I'd do something because I am not afraid to put it out there that people who get off by torturing animals and making other people cry need to be stopped. I can only hope that this whole thing gave you a bit of compassion, if not for animals, then maybe a little for other people who devote their time to helping. You may not like cats, but thing about someone else. Try being a volunteer, make a difference!

tooge
03-17-2011, 11:09 AM
I am a part time dumbassed clueless transvestite loving bounty hunter. What I will do is come to your neighborhood for a small fee of a 12 pack of beer, set up a perimeter, and rid your area of these vermin. All I need is a small can o whoopass, and I am able to neutralize 10 to 12 retards a day. My personal record was 17 at the Star Wars festival in 2009. Wandering bronco fans could be collateral damage, but as of yet, I haven't had any complaints.

tooge
03-17-2011, 11:11 AM
BTW, I hunt dumbassed clueless transvestite lovers if that reads funny