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Direckshun
03-24-2011, 12:28 AM
You seem interesting.

|Zach|
03-24-2011, 12:29 AM
I once scissor kicked angela lansbury.

Buck
03-24-2011, 12:29 AM
5" on a good night.

Direckshun
03-24-2011, 12:30 AM
I once scissor kicked angela lansbury.

Why on earth would you do that?

My mother loved "Murder She Wrote."

Direckshun
03-24-2011, 12:31 AM
5" on a good night.

Got me beat.

I am a sad person.

HoneyBadger
03-24-2011, 12:33 AM
5" on a good night.

Flaccid, or Good to go?

|Zach|
03-24-2011, 12:33 AM
Why on earth would you do that?

My mother loved "Murder She Wrote."
She was wrong.

On the internet.

J Diddy
03-24-2011, 12:33 AM
5" on a good night.

I saw this and just shook my head.

Congrats I hope he had a good night as well.

J Diddy
03-24-2011, 12:34 AM
She was wrong.

On the internet.

Murder she plagiarized?

|Zach|
03-24-2011, 12:34 AM
Murder she plagiarized?

LMAO

|Zach|
03-24-2011, 12:36 AM
I once won over 7k playing bingo on a cruise.

Buck
03-24-2011, 12:36 AM
Flaccid, or Good to go?

Good to go.

They call me the Nickle Express because my 5 only needs 5 minutes or less.

The ladies love me.

Direckshun
03-24-2011, 12:37 AM
I slept with Selma Blair back when it meant something.

Selma Blair.

Back when it meant something.

Selma Blair.

J Diddy
03-24-2011, 12:39 AM
Good to go.

They call me the Nickle Express because my 5 only needs 5 minutes or less.

The ladies love me.

At least the ones who got shit to do.

"Bob" Dobbs
03-24-2011, 12:39 AM
True story. I once touched Lesley Stahls' tits. Accidentally, of course.
Posted via Mobile Device

Direckshun
03-24-2011, 12:40 AM
THIS IS BULLSHIT

JOhn
03-24-2011, 12:40 AM
I lead a boring and non-eventful life :evil:

J Diddy
03-24-2011, 12:41 AM
THIS IS BULLSHIT



Hmmm, perhaps you should begin the introductions.

big nasty kcnut
03-24-2011, 12:41 AM
I orally pleased a stripper at my job one time. I'm a writer also a coin collector and recurring guest on talk shows. Plus if i wasn't a nice guy i would take pleasure in punishing people and making their life a living hell. I'm caring and very respectful to people. Also i believe in karma when you do good things good things happen to you when you do bad things bad things happen to you. Even thou i'm a catholic.

"Bob" Dobbs
03-24-2011, 12:42 AM
I orally pleased a stripper at my job one time. I'm a writer also a coin collector and recurring guest on talk shows. Plus if i wasn't a nice guy i would take pleasure in punishing people and making their life a living hell. I'm caring and very respectful to people. Also i believe in karma when you do good things good things happen to you when you do bad things bad things happen to you. Even thou i'm a catholic.
My name is Earl.
Posted via Mobile Device

Buck
03-24-2011, 12:42 AM
I orally pleased a stripper at my job one time. I'm a writer also a coin collector and recurring guest on talk shows. Plus if i wasn't a nice guy i would take pleasure in punishing people and making their life a living hell. I'm caring and very respectful to people. Also i believe in karma when you do good things good things happen to you when you do bad things bad things happen to you. Even thou i'm a catholic.

LOL WUT

J Diddy
03-24-2011, 12:44 AM
LOL WUT

No kidding, Nut, what the hell do you do for a living? I hope you're not a preacher.

Buck
03-24-2011, 12:44 AM
I cannot go 2 years without masturbating.

I cannot stand it when it gets below 55 degrees.

I cannot lift either of my legs over my head, but I know a girl who can...both actually.

|Zach|
03-24-2011, 12:58 AM
I orally pleased a stripper at my job one time. I'm a writer also a coin collector and recurring guest on talk shows. Plus if i wasn't a nice guy i would take pleasure in punishing people and making their life a living hell. I'm caring and very respectful to people. Also i believe in karma when you do good things good things happen to you when you do bad things bad things happen to you. Even thou i'm a catholic.

Whoa whoa back up the bus.

Buck
03-24-2011, 01:00 AM
Whoa whoa back up the bus.

LOL.

I once killed a man. I work as an bank teller. My mom makes the best spaghetti. I believe in spiritual energy, but I'm not religious. The Chargers are my favorite team.

pr_capone
03-24-2011, 01:02 AM
I spent 1 year and 2 months living with a couple and banging the guy's wife with his blessing.

big nasty kcnut
03-24-2011, 01:14 AM
No i worked at a restaurant. this lady came in and flirted with me one thing lead to another and i'm pleasing her in her car but had to stop cause i had to get back to work.

Mr. Flopnuts
03-24-2011, 01:14 AM
No i worked at a restaurant. this lady came in and flirted with me one thing lead to another and i'm pleasing her in her car but had to stop cause i had to get back to work.

Was the taco, bueno?

FAX
03-24-2011, 01:16 AM
Well, Mr. big nasty kcnut wins this contest. Hands down.

FAX

chasedude
03-24-2011, 01:20 AM
Was the taco, bueno?

ROFL

Buck
03-24-2011, 01:21 AM
The thing about adversity is that I embrace it.

FAX
03-24-2011, 01:27 AM
You know, it's kind of funny, actually. In a sad, strange, sort of way. I have occasionally considered regaling you guys with stories from my life. Unfortunately, I know that most of you would not believe that they actually occurred. It's as though my life history would be considered more fiction than biographical. That's an odd feeling, to be honest.

However, I will tell you this much; I'm married. I own a dog I rescued from a life on the streets. And, I despise the gopher-people.

FAX

Mr. Flopnuts
03-24-2011, 01:31 AM
You know, it's kind of funny, actually. In a sad, strange, sort of way. I have occasionally considered regaling you guys with stories from my life. Unfortunately, I know that most of you would not believe that they actually occurred. It's as though my life history would be considered more fiction than biographical. That's an odd feeling, to be honest.

However, I will tell you this much; I'm married. I own a dog I rescued from a life on the streets. And, I despise the gopher-people.

FAX

I'd believe you Mr. Fax. You don't seem the kind of guy that would go around embellishing his life story in order to seek e-acceptance.

Kyle DeLexus
03-24-2011, 01:31 AM
Well, Mr. big nasty kcnut wins this contest. Hands down.

FAX

Someone needs to make him a mod already.

big nasty kcnut
03-24-2011, 01:35 AM
fax got better story then all of us if he said that he did half of nashville before he got marry i'd believe him.

Jewish Rabbi
03-24-2011, 01:38 AM
fax got better story then all of us if he said that he did half of nashville before he got marry i'd believe him.

MOD HIS ASS UP!

J Diddy
03-24-2011, 01:48 AM
LOL.

I once killed a man. I work as an bank teller. My mom makes the best spaghetti. I believe in spiritual energy, but I'm not religious. The Chargers are my favorite team.

Love the name change.

Was gonna go with I love the 5" Chub, but then I realized the error.

J Diddy
03-24-2011, 01:49 AM
I'd believe you Mr. Fax. You don't seem the kind of guy that would go around embellishing his life story in order to seek e-acceptance.


True story.

Fax is a long standing tradition of phone based communication in a world of email.

JOhn
03-24-2011, 02:51 AM
I know what commissary is....if you do then you know something about me

LiveSteam
03-24-2011, 03:14 AM
Its 4:14 AM
Im hand sewing 9 girl scout patches on my kids Browne uniform.
Do I seem interesting ?

JOhn
03-24-2011, 03:26 AM
Its 4:14 AM
Im hand sewing 9 girl scout patches on my kids Browne uniform.
Do I seem interesting ?

:thumb:

Yup, being a good parent.

3:25am and bored out of my mind at work :doh!:

Over-Head
03-24-2011, 04:22 AM
read the bio on my web site if ya wanna know about me :thumb:

Fried Meat Ball!
03-24-2011, 06:54 AM
I orally pleased a stripper at my job one time. I'm a writer also a coin collector and recurring guest on talk shows. Plus if i wasn't a nice guy i would take pleasure in punishing people and making their life a living hell. I'm caring and very respectful to people. Also i believe in karma when you do good things good things happen to you when you do bad things bad things happen to you. Even thou i'm a catholic.

fax got better story then all of us if he said that he did half of nashville before he got marry i'd believe him.

You're a writer?!? :spock:

With the typos, common grammar, syntax and punctuation errors in nearly every single post (capitalization not included)?

That said, I'm a grammar Nazi. Online, in real life, and online in real life. I'm a national news director for a broadcast television company's digital properties. My background is newspaper editing, layout and design. Bachelor's degree in film production. I made a feature film and did commercial production for a couple years.

Hog Farmer
03-24-2011, 07:12 AM
I've already disclosed too much !

Sofa King
03-24-2011, 07:25 AM
I drink beer and shoot shit.

seclark
03-24-2011, 07:27 AM
No i worked at a restaurant. this lady came in and flirted with me one thing lead to another and i'm pleasing her in her car but had to stop cause i had to get back to work.

^there's a lot of jokes to be made here.^
sec

burt
03-24-2011, 07:33 AM
You're a writer?!? :spock:

With the typos, common grammar, syntax and punctuation errors in nearly every single post (capitalization not included)?

That said, I'm a grammar Nazi. Online, in real life, and online in real life. I'm a national news director for a broadcast television company's digital properties. My background is newspaper editing, layout and design. Bachelor's degree in film production. I made a feature film and did commercial production for a couple years.

God, I hated that class in college. My degree is in Public Relations.

LiveSteam
03-24-2011, 07:41 AM
You're a writer?!? :spock:

With the typos, common grammar, syntax and punctuation errors in nearly every single post (capitalization not included)?

That said, I'm a grammar Nazi. Online, in real life, and online in real life. I'm a national news director for a broadcast television company's digital properties. My background is newspaper editing, layout and design. Bachelor's degree in film production. I made a feature film and did commercial production for a couple years.

wELL ant YoU hte kats me ow

MOhillbilly
03-24-2011, 07:43 AM
I drink shit and shoot the beer.

Sofa King
03-24-2011, 07:47 AM
I drink shit and shoot the beer.

http://i190.photobucket.com/albums/z81/christy1234_album/norm_2i067bm.jpg

SNR
03-24-2011, 07:59 AM
I miss Dane :huh:

MOhillbilly
03-24-2011, 08:09 AM
I miss Dane :huh:

ghey.

Sofa King
03-24-2011, 08:13 AM
ghey.

I'm 98% sure this is you.



http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/2011/3/23/a3c95143-5c86-40df-a84b-c6eae7c6c2e8_thumb.jpeg

Radar Chief
03-24-2011, 08:18 AM
I'm 98% sure this is you.



http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/2011/3/23/a3c95143-5c86-40df-a84b-c6eae7c6c2e8_thumb.jpeg

I wouldn't bet against that.

MOhillbilly
03-24-2011, 08:26 AM
im 98% sure im fuckin cooler than that guy ever thought about bein.


dry grin

seclark
03-24-2011, 08:49 AM
go ahead with your own life leave me alone.
sec

Hydrae
03-24-2011, 08:54 AM
I share a first name with Rainman but am not a fan of Bruce.

Earthling
03-24-2011, 08:59 AM
Old and still tryin' to figure it all out. Just joined a band so I get to have free booze, in moderation, have fun and get a $100 bill for 3 hours of gettin' out of the house. :thumb:

Radar Chief
03-24-2011, 09:01 AM
Iíve been learning to weld, picked up a little Lincoln 120V flux core MIG. Burns one hell of a lot hotter than the guys at Airgas were telling me, of course theyíre in the business of selling heavier gear than what Iíve got so I guess that shouldnít surprise me.

mesmith31
03-24-2011, 09:12 AM
Once almost got banned from the Price is Right for costing 3 contestants $50k in 10 min. Sold a moped to the head of a Guerrilla army in South America. Was in top 50 finalists first season of Apprentice. Direct descendant of Captain Morgan.

burt
03-24-2011, 09:32 AM
im 98% sure im fuckin cooler than that guy ever thought about bein.


dry grin

Most of us know this..........

crazycoffey
03-24-2011, 11:17 AM
LOL.

I once killed a man. I work as an bank teller. My mom makes the best spaghetti. I believe in spiritual energy, but I'm not religious. The Chargers are my favorite team.

who were you?

RockChalk
03-24-2011, 11:25 AM
My blood smells like cologne. I bowl overhand. I've won awards based on my game face. My business card says "I'll call you". I'm the life of parties I've never attended.

Buck
03-24-2011, 11:26 AM
who were you?

That last part didn't give it away?

crazycoffey
03-24-2011, 11:32 AM
That last part didn't give it away?

I figured it out, but you're not the only charger fan out there who killed a man...

gblowfish
03-24-2011, 11:38 AM
I know every single Chinese human alive.

Slainte
03-24-2011, 12:17 PM
I was born in the house my father built...

Radar Chief
03-24-2011, 12:35 PM
My blood smells like cologne. I bowl overhand. I've won awards based on my game face. My business card says "I'll call you". I'm the life of parties I've never attended.

I donít always drink beer, but when I do its Dos Equis. /Most Interesting Man in the World

J Diddy
03-24-2011, 12:41 PM
I donít always drink beer, but when I do its Dos Equis. /Most Interesting Man in the World


Funny. I always pegged you as PBR kind of guy.

LOCOChief
03-24-2011, 12:49 PM
I'm a chicken hawk
And you're all chickens.

DMAC
03-24-2011, 01:00 PM
I have dandruff in ONE eyebrow.

chiefsnorth
03-24-2011, 01:01 PM
I like to attend open mic nights and watch B movies. I own numerous guitars. I think I am less of a sports fan than ever. I have never had a broken bone or a surgical procedure. I have not lived in the same place for more than 5 years since childhood.

pr_capone
03-24-2011, 01:03 PM
I've had 14 broken bones in my life.

DMAC
03-24-2011, 01:04 PM
I have super fucked up toes.

blaise
03-24-2011, 01:04 PM
I wrote a few skits for a radio show produced out in Lawrence called, Right Between the Ears. I've had a few short plays produced. I've had over 2,000 emails read by different radio shows, which is a giant waste of time, but it's fun. And I once closed a game of cricket darts in 5 rounds.

gblowfish
03-24-2011, 01:04 PM
Some people call me the Space Cowboy.
Some call me The Gangster of Love.

DTLB58
03-24-2011, 01:05 PM
:popcorn:

Cheap entertainment.

Dayze
03-24-2011, 01:09 PM
I once 'lazed' a target (18 Wheeler Trailer) at night with a group of Navy SEALs so F/A-18's could drop ordanance during training at NSAWC in FAllon, NV.

was really cool; because I wasn't a ground guy/Seal, but was more analytical (Intel). was really cool to ride out in the high desert at near dusk with 4 SEAL and watch a trailer get blowed up at night. Also got to 'rope in' the Hornets from the ground before lazing the target.

Graystoke
03-24-2011, 01:11 PM
I have three nipples...
How many is THREE?

RNR
03-24-2011, 01:14 PM
I wrote a few skits for a radio show produced out in Lawrence called, Right Between the Ears. I've had a few short plays produced. I've had over 2,000 emails read by different radio shows, which is a giant waste of time, but it's fun. And I once closed a game of cricket darts in 5 rounds.

That is not too shabby! 8 darts is a perfect game. I have done it with 13 darts once. I have however never done any of the other cool stuff you have done~

Rooster
03-24-2011, 01:15 PM
I'm a chicken hawk
And you're all chickens.

Careful buddy. :evil:

Over-Head
03-24-2011, 01:18 PM
I once 'lazed' a target (18 Wheeler Trailer) at night .
The fuckers used to do practice dive bombing runs on us Truckers crossing teh desert at night when I was hauling produce out to Cali...
Scare the piss outa ya when you see the damn plane hit the afterburners going back up, THEN hear the boom, sure they were 2-300 or more feet over head, but man,,,what a rush!

Dayze
03-24-2011, 01:27 PM
The fuckers used to do practice dive bombing runs on us Truckers crossing teh desert at night when I was hauling produce out to Cali...
Scare the piss outa ya when you see the damn plane hit the afterburners going back up, THEN hear the boom, sure they were 2-300 or more feet over head, but man,,,what a rush!

at NSAWC they had all sorts of stuff out on the bombing range; buses, cars, sheds, 18-wheelers etc.

ka-blewey!

by the time we were out there and set up, it was night time; so you couldn't see the hornets, just hear them. then after I roped one in, you hear the call with callsign come over the radio: Pilot : "Beef 21, acquired friendly." (meaning he saw our laser/light we were waving on the ground to let him know roughly where we were at); we then put the targeting laser on the trailer; heard a cool 'whoosh' sound as he flew over head at then BLAMO! saw the light before we heard it etc.

very cool.:evil:

Here is the pilot in my squadron who hooked me up with some of his SEAL buddies to go out on the range. This dude was a bad MF. Originally enlisted and became a SEAL;...the 'decided' he wanted to fly jets so he got a degree, became an officer and pilot. And just because one 'wants' to fly jets, doesn't mean the Navy will assign you to one. I also recall some of his fellow pilots giving him sh*t for wearing his Trident on his working khakis; alot of them thought "he's a pilot now, he should only wear his wings". His response to them was the first time I'd heard the phrase "Pound Sand". I believe for a while he wore the Trident above his wings, but was basically told to 'correct it'. He protested a bit, but complied. His call sign was "Pappy"; because at the time, he was the oldest Lt. on base at like 35 or something, when his counterparts were 27-ish.
http://www.vfa34.navy.mil/images/cdrparadise_small.jpg

http://www.vfa34.navy.mil/leadership.htm
Executive Officer

CDR Matthew Paradise enlisted in the Navy in 1985 and attended Basic Underwater Demolition School class 138. Upon successful completion, he was assigned to Seal Team TWO, where he made deployments to Northern Europe as a Mountain and Arctic Warfare Specialist. During his tenure at Seal Team TWO, he earned instructor qualifications in Combat Swimming and Mountain and Arctic Warfare. In 1989, he was selected for the Enlisted Commissioning Program and attended the University of Washington earning a degree in Electrical Engineering and a commission as Ensign in August 1992.


CDR Paradise attended primary flight training in Corpus Christi, TX and advanced flight training in Kingsville, TX earning his wings in July of 1995. In July of 1996, he completed initial training in the F/A-18 and was assigned to Strike Fighter Squadron 22. During his tenure at VFA-22, CDR Paradise made two Western Pacific deployments and participated in OPERATIONS SOUTHERN WATCH and DESERT FOX. He was selected to attend USN Test Pilot School, graduated in July 2000 and was assigned to VX-23. While at VX-23, CDR Paradise was both Project Officer and Project Pilot for numerous programs including Joint Precision Approach Landing System, and F/A-18 E/F degraded flight control carrier suitability testing. While at VX-23, he earned his Masters degree in Systems Engineering from Johns Hopkins University. In January of 2003, CDR Paradise was assigned as Air Wing Paddles for CVW-5 on the USS KITTY HAWK and flew flights in support of OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM. In October 2004, CDR Paradise was assigned to VFA-192 as a Department Head. Most recently, CDR Paradise served as a Maritime Communications System Manager for NATO Communications Service Agency in Mons, Belgium.

CDR Paradise�s personal decorations include the Defense Meritorious Service Medal, 4 Air medals including two with combat "V"s, three Navy Commendation medals, a Navy Achievement Medal and various campaign and unit citations. He has accumulated over 2,500 tactical jet flight hours and over 700 carrier landings.

Rain Man
03-24-2011, 01:29 PM
I have super ****ed up toes.

Pic?

vailpass
03-24-2011, 01:31 PM
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.

Rain Man
03-24-2011, 01:31 PM
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.

No pics.

Rain Man
03-24-2011, 01:32 PM
I have three nipples...
How many is THREE?

No pics.

blaise
03-24-2011, 01:32 PM
at NSAWC they had all sorts of stuff out on the bombing range; buses, cars, sheds, 18-wheelers etc.

ka-blewey!

by the time we were out there and set up, it was night time; so you couldn't see the hornets, just hear them. then after I roped one in, you hear the call with callsign come over the radio: Pilot : "Beef 21, acquired friendly." (meaning he saw our laser/light we were waving on the ground to let him know roughly where we were at); we then put the targeting laser on the trailer; heard a cool 'whoosh' sound as he flew over head at then BLAMO! saw the light before we heard it etc.

very cool.:evil:

That does sound pretty cool.

Rain Man
03-24-2011, 01:32 PM
at NSAWC they had all sorts of stuff out on the bombing range; buses, cars, sheds, 18-wheelers etc.

ka-blewey!

by the time we were out there and set up, it was night time; so you couldn't see the hornets, just hear them. then after I roped one in, you hear the call with callsign come over the radio: Pilot : "Beef 21, acquired friendly." (meaning he saw our laser/light we were waving on the ground to let him know roughly where we were at); we then put the targeting laser on the trailer; heard a cool 'whoosh' sound as he flew over head at then BLAMO! saw the light before we heard it etc.

very cool.:evil:

Pics?

KC Tattoo
03-24-2011, 01:34 PM
Some people call me the Space Cowboy.
Some call me The Gangster of Love.


HI Maurice

DMAC
03-24-2011, 01:43 PM
Pic?

Foot fetish?

RedThat
03-24-2011, 01:50 PM
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.

Ah do the humpty hump!! ah ah do the humpty hump!!

Dayze
03-24-2011, 01:50 PM
Pics?

i could show you, but then I'd have to kill you.

Graystoke
03-24-2011, 01:54 PM
No pics.

I usually get a dollar for that.

bevischief
03-24-2011, 02:01 PM
HI Maurice

LMAO

KurtCobain
03-24-2011, 02:02 PM
5" on a good night.

LMAOLMAO I should've stayed up last night. ROFL

KurtCobain
03-24-2011, 02:06 PM
I know what commissary is....if you do then you know something about me

canteen you bad man

Easy 6
03-24-2011, 02:11 PM
Life is but a shitpile & i am but a cock that climbs upon it to crow.

Radar Chief
03-24-2011, 02:12 PM
I once 'lazed' a target (18 Wheeler Trailer) at night with a group of Navy SEALs so F/A-18's could drop ordanance during training at NSAWC in FAllon, NV.

was really cool; because I wasn't a ground guy/Seal, but was more analytical (Intel). was really cool to ride out in the high desert at near dusk with 4 SEAL and watch a trailer get blowed up at night. Also got to 'rope in' the Hornets from the ground before lazing the target.

Iím jealous. Suddenly my stories of cooking birds right out of the sky with the HPI, High Powered Illuminator or tracking radar, arenít nearly as interesting.

KurtCobain
03-24-2011, 02:12 PM
Hey JOhn, how the fuck did you get into security? Did you have to wait a certain amount of time?

Rooster
03-24-2011, 02:37 PM
I can't whistle.

I find parking garages to be confusing.

I will pee in the shower and not think twice about it.

My lucky color is yellow.

When I play Monopoly I'm always the horse guy playing piece.

Useful Idiot
03-24-2011, 02:46 PM
I met a smoking hawt girl a few weeks ago. She is unbelievably hawt. Seems like a smart girl too. I'm pretty sure she digs me.

but......she is a cowgirl. through and through. I despise rednecks and country music.

that, and she is 10 years younger than me. bleh.

she is really fucking hawt.

Fried Meat Ball!
03-24-2011, 02:47 PM
I met a smoking hawt girl a few weeks ago. She is unbelievably hawt. Seems like a smart girl too. I'm pretty sure she digs me.

but......she is a cowgirl. through and through. I despise rednecks and country music.

that, and she is 10 years younger than me. bleh.

she is really ****ing hawt.

Pics or GTFO.

Radar Chief
03-24-2011, 02:51 PM
I met a smoking hawt girl a few weeks ago. She is unbelievably hawt. Seems like a smart girl too. I'm pretty sure she digs me.

but......she is a cowgirl. through and through. I despise rednecks and country music.

that, and she is 10 years younger than me. bleh.

she is really ****ing hawt.

Youíre in Texas and hate rednecks? Youíre in for a long stay there.
To answer your question though, Iíve pretended to be worse things than a redneck to get a piece of poon.

Easy 6
03-24-2011, 02:53 PM
I once dynamited the Rock Island, killing women & children.

I killed a US Marshall in '70.

Rooster
03-24-2011, 02:54 PM
I once dynamited the Rock Island, killing women & children.

I killed a US Marshall in '70.

Will??

Rausch
03-24-2011, 02:54 PM
You seem interesting.

Yes, I will.

This is definitely what I should do...

Easy 6
03-24-2011, 02:58 PM
Will??

I see you still have that Spencer rifle...

Useful Idiot
03-24-2011, 03:03 PM
Youíre in Texas and hate rednecks? Youíre in for a long stay there.
To answer your question though, Iíve pretended to be worse things than a redneck to get a piece of poon.

I live in Houston. It's not all rednecks here.

I can't pretend to be a redneck. she wouldn't buy it for a second. plus i'm not in it just to get a piece of poon. although, I probably should be.

Deberg_1990
03-24-2011, 03:06 PM
I like little boys..............................





































































you know, coaching them at T-Ball and Soccer and stuff....

Rausch
03-24-2011, 03:07 PM
I once dynamited the Rock Island, killing women & children.

I killed a US Marshall in '70.

...

http://img.hsmagazine.net/2011/02/whut-300x225.jpg

LiveSteam
03-24-2011, 03:12 PM
I have an arsenal. I cant wait for Shea law to come to my street.

Stewie
03-24-2011, 03:13 PM
I crashed my dad's car into the garage and mom's car when I was four years old.

Slainte
03-24-2011, 03:15 PM
I have an arsenal. I cant wait for Shea law to come to my street.

I, too fear this little bastard...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ZVocWzY5KUo/ShmvyBcUlWI/AAAAAAAAC70/wBRK5JUw7Sk/s320/Eric_Shea1.jpg

LiveSteam
03-24-2011, 03:26 PM
I, too fear this little bastard...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ZVocWzY5KUo/ShmvyBcUlWI/AAAAAAAAC70/wBRK5JUw7Sk/s320/Eric_Shea1.jpg

WOW.That looks just like the kid they found dead in the bath tub covered in cat litter,hear in Omaha.
His mom strangled him with wire while he was asleep, then put his body in the tub for a month or two covered with cat litter

http://ndnforum.com/blogs//media/blogs/News/Michael-Belitz.jpg
Michael Belitz

Rausch
03-24-2011, 03:30 PM
WOW.That looks just like the kid they found dead in the bath tub covered in cat litter,hear in Omaha.
His mom strangled him with wire while he was asleep, then put his body in the tub for a month or two covered with cat litter

http://ndnforum.com/blogs//media/blogs/News/Michael-Belitz.jpg
Michael Belitz

Ohhhhh.


When sarcasm goes wrong...

Slainte
03-24-2011, 03:31 PM
WOW.That looks just like the kid they found dead in the bath tub covered in cat litter,hear in Omaha.
His mom strangled him with wire while he was asleep, then put his body in the tub for a month or two covered with cat litter

http://ndnforum.com/blogs//media/blogs/News/Michael-Belitz.jpg
Michael Belitz

Cool. Thanks for posting.

luv
03-24-2011, 03:31 PM
WOW.That looks just like the kid they found dead in the bath tub covered in cat litter,hear in Omaha.
His mom strangled him with wire while he was asleep, then put his body in the tub for a month or two covered with cat litter

http://ndnforum.com/blogs//media/blogs/News/Michael-Belitz.jpg
Michael Belitz

I really didn't need to read that.

LiveSteam
03-24-2011, 03:33 PM
Ohhhhh.


When sarcasm goes wrong...

No its not that. Sad as that story is. The mom will be sentenced today. So the poor lil kids pic is all over the news, Striking resemblance.

LiveSteam
03-24-2011, 03:34 PM
I really didn't need to read that.

I understand ,being how you have morning sickness & all . Right ? :-)

KurtCobain
03-24-2011, 03:35 PM
OMG IS LUV PREGNANT!?!?!

LiveSteam
03-24-2011, 03:35 PM
OMG IS LUV PREGNANT!?!?!

yes ROFL
well she has all the symptoms anyway

Rausch
03-24-2011, 03:37 PM
OMG IS LUV PREGNANT!?!?!

Fuck!

I really don't need this $#it right now.

Just forward it and I'll let them Q-TIP me on tuesday.



FUCK!

http://www.theprogram101.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/trailer_park_boys_ricky_elvis_do_1-300x200.jpg

Count Zarth
03-24-2011, 03:38 PM
I really hope luv is not pregnant. We would get at least 10 threads about it.

MahiMike
03-24-2011, 04:41 PM
Old and still tryin' to figure it all out. Just joined a band so I get to have free booze, in moderation, have fun and get a $100 bill for 3 hours of gettin' out of the house. :thumb:

You are my idol.

shirtsleeve
03-24-2011, 04:59 PM
Fame is empowering. My mistake was that I thought I would instinctively know how to handle it. But there's no manual, no training course.

Oh well...For now, I'm just going to hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view.

Donger
03-24-2011, 05:32 PM
Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard Business School. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY... NOW, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

vailpass
03-24-2011, 05:41 PM
I'm a filmmaker. I make a lot of commercials. That little dog that chases the covered wagon underneath the sink? That was mine. In 1966, I went down to Greenwich Village, New York City to a rock club called Electric Banana. Don't look for it; it's not there anymore. But that night, I heard a band that for me redefined the word "rock and roll". I remember being knocked out by their... their exuberance, their raw power - and their punctuality.

Radar Chief
03-24-2011, 05:44 PM
My name is Howard J. Turkster, I'm from Kansas City. Uh, my hobbies are fast cars and fast women. Cause, uh, thats why my guys in my car club call me "Cruiser".

Fat Elvis
03-24-2011, 05:49 PM
My name is Howard J. Turkster, I'm from Kansas City. Uh, my hobbies are fast cars and fast women. Cause, uh, thats why my guys in my car club call me "Cruiser".

I knew a guy in college who actually went by the name Cruiser. He was one of my roommates. He was a really nice guy.

seclark
03-24-2011, 05:53 PM
i'm just starting my 3rd year on c-block. i'm pretty much left alone in the yard and the showers, mainly because i make a batch of toilet bowl raisin jack that is to die for.
need a tooth, rat pelt, or a shank? i'm your guy
things have really been looking up for me lately.
sec

DMAC
03-24-2011, 05:57 PM
i'm just starting my 3rd year on c-block. i'm pretty much left alone in the yard and the showers, mainly because i make a batch of toilet bowl raisin jack that is to die for.
need a tooth, rat pelt, or a shank? i'm your guy
things have really been looking up for me lately.
sec

New fish came in to toss your salad?

seclark
03-24-2011, 06:00 PM
New fish came in to toss your salad?

ain't my thing...i've got future expectations. got a chance to get into cig distribution.
sec

Rain Man
03-24-2011, 06:01 PM
My name is Howard J. Turkster, I'm from Kansas City. Uh, my hobbies are fast cars and fast women. Cause, uh, thats why my guys in my car club call me "Cruiser".

Don't touch my stuff.

mlyonsd
03-24-2011, 06:35 PM
I can eat 11 chili dogs in one sitting.

crazycoffey
03-24-2011, 06:36 PM
I was born a poor black child, all I need is my thermos...

seclark
03-24-2011, 06:38 PM
I can eat 11 chili dogs in one sitting.

i can shit 12;)
sec

Radar Chief
03-24-2011, 06:44 PM
Don't touch my stuff.

So just keep your meat hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill ya. /Francis Soyer

mlyonsd
03-24-2011, 06:45 PM
i can shit 12;)
sec
Oh lets not get going on that. I could be in a circus or something.

el borracho
03-24-2011, 07:39 PM
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

RJ
03-24-2011, 07:44 PM
Well, Mr. big nasty kcnut wins this contest. Hands down.

FAX


Hold on there, buddy. I've never told the the story about me and the stripper in the back of the Shop-At-Home-Carpet van.

Kyle DeLexus
03-24-2011, 08:04 PM
I don't know what to say really.
I look around and I see these young faces, and I think...I mean I made every wrong choice a middle age man could make.
I uh....I pissed away all my money, believe it or not.
I chased off anyone who has ever loved me.
And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know when you get old in life, things get taken from you.
That's, that's part of life.
But, you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
You find out that life is just a game of inches.

KC Tattoo
03-24-2011, 09:00 PM
<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6jgDEmW9nlU?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6jgDEmW9nlU?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>


Samurai Jack is a bad ass!

"Bob" Dobbs
03-24-2011, 09:45 PM
So just keep your meat hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill ya. /Francis SoyerLighten up, Francis.

Rain Man
03-24-2011, 10:01 PM
I have a secret desire to hop a tramp freighter.

Iowanian
03-24-2011, 10:02 PM
It wasn't an iceburg.

The Titanic sank because I had a hole in my tube sock.

FAX
03-24-2011, 10:23 PM
I have a secret desire to hop a tramp freighter.

If I may say so, I think it's admirable that you're consistently setting higher goals, Mr. Rain Man.

Last week, you just wanted to hop a tramp.

FAX

RedNFeisty
03-24-2011, 10:27 PM
I'm sort of a deviant, but sshhh, don't tell anyone. o:-)

Rain Man
03-24-2011, 10:31 PM
If I may say so, I think it's admirable that you're consistently setting higher goals, Mr. Rain Man.

Last week, you just wanted to hop a tramp.

FAX


That was admittedly an error in judgment, but I can't resist a woman in a tube top.

Rain Man
03-24-2011, 10:31 PM
I'm sort of a deviant, but sshhh, don't tell anyone. o:-)


I will mail you $14 if you tell me everything.

RedNFeisty
03-24-2011, 10:39 PM
I will mail you $14 if you tell me everything.

Come on, you can work out a better trade then that. ;)

Rain Man
03-24-2011, 10:43 PM
Come on, you can work out a better trade then that. ;)

I live in the west. I can get a Mexican woman to tell me her depravities for $14, so you have to match the price or I'll go elsewhere. It's all about supply and demand.

RedNFeisty
03-24-2011, 10:52 PM
I live in the west. I can get a Mexican woman to tell me her depravities for $14, so you have to match the price or I'll go elsewhere. It's all about supply and demand.

If you would rather hear stories about donkey shows, be my guest. Besides, I'm the one with the supply, you would need to meet my demands. ;)

Direckshun
03-24-2011, 11:18 PM
I am THE WALFUS

shirtsleeve
03-24-2011, 11:24 PM
If you would rather hear stories about donkey shows, be my guest. Besides, I'm the one with the supply, you would need to meet my demands. ;)

Donkey shows? TTIUWOP!

crazycoffey
03-25-2011, 12:31 AM
Hold on there, buddy. I've never told the the story about me and the stripper in the back of the Shop-At-Home-Carpet van.

oh, whatever. The day I left my first wife, I went to shoot some pool at a local billiards bar and some girl bought me a drink. I re-payed the favor and invited her to play a few racks with me. A few short hours later, I was invited to stay with her and her other stripper roommate. Since I had no other place to stay, I indulged. As a man looking for sex stories, just getting over a divorce, and open to try many deviant things; I decided to go with it and have the time of my life.

It was not my first, nor my last, threesome. It was not my first, nor my last, BJ with a pierced tongue. It was not my first, nor last pierced nipples to play with. But it was the only time I had strippers throwing their stripper money to other strippers to dance all over me. And it wasn't a horrible time. I just knew it couldn't last. And when that first girl stripper started telling me she loved me, I just knew I couldn't reciprocate. As a man looking for serious relationships and not sexual diseases, I had to call it quits. In many ways it was the best month of my life....

Mr. Flopnuts
03-25-2011, 12:36 AM
You have all the makings of an honorary moderator. Pierced nipples, pierced tongue BJs, a few threesomes. Welcome to the club, man. Welcome to the club.

Buck
03-25-2011, 12:40 AM
Oh this thread.

I'm drunk as fuck right now and I'm probably going to beat my 5" pud. That is if I can get a stiffy. I think I'm too pissed off at the moment.

shirtsleeve
03-25-2011, 12:40 AM
oh, whatever. The day I left my first wife, I went to shoot some pool at a local billiards bar and some girl bought me a drink. I re-payed the favor and invited her to play a few racks with me. A few short hours later, I was invited to stay with her and her other stripper roommate. Since I had no other place to stay, I indulged. As a man looking for sex stories, just getting over a divorce, and open to try many deviant things; I decided to go with it and have the time of my life.

It was not my first, nor my last, threesome. It was not my first, nor my last, BJ with a pierced tongue. It was not my first, nor last pierced nipples to play with. But it was the only time I had strippers throwing their stripper money to other strippers to dance all over me. And it wasn't a horrible time. I just knew it couldn't last. And when that first girl stripper started telling me she loved me, I just knew I couldn't reciprocate. As a man looking for serious relationships and not sexual diseases, I had to call it quits. In many ways it was the best month of my life....

I hate you. All of those were the first and lasts!!!!

Braggart!!!

But at least those were the first and lasts...

I still have the memory of the two of them nekkered going up 495 at 90 mph going down on each other, while old people watched in horror. Then I gave the wheel away....

RedNFeisty
03-25-2011, 01:16 AM
oh, whatever. The day I left my first wife, I went to shoot some pool at a local billiards bar and some girl bought me a drink. I re-payed the favor and invited her to play a few racks with me. A few short hours later, I was invited to stay with her and her other stripper roommate. Since I had no other place to stay, I indulged. As a man looking for sex stories, just getting over a divorce, and open to try many deviant things; I decided to go with it and have the time of my life.

It was not my first, nor my last, threesome. It was not my first, nor my last, BJ with a pierced tongue. It was not my first, nor last pierced nipples to play with. But it was the only time I had strippers throwing their stripper money to other strippers to dance all over me. And it wasn't a horrible time. I just knew it couldn't last. And when that first girl stripper started telling me she loved me, I just knew I couldn't reciprocate. As a man looking for serious relationships and not sexual diseases, I had to call it quits. In many ways it was the best month of my life....
Wow....that made me wet. You need more details thought. :drool:
Oh this thread.

I'm drunk as **** right now and I'm probably going to beat my 5" pud. That is if I can get a stiffy. I think I'm too pissed off at the moment.
If I were a guy, I would never, ever, admit it was only 5". LMAO
Donkey shows? TTIUWOP!
I've never been to a donkey show, I couldn't give you any details. :thumb:

And, wtf is, TTIUWOP??

listopencil
03-25-2011, 01:41 AM
Wow....that made me wet.

...it's like the gift that just keeps on giving isn't it?

TTIUWOP??This Thread Is Useless WithOut Pics.

Bill Lundberg
03-25-2011, 07:21 AM
I don't pee pee my bed.

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/PwzBuN7jfjw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Sofa King
03-25-2011, 08:10 AM
Oh this thread.

I'm drunk as **** right now and I'm probably going to beat my 5" pud. That is if I can get a stiffy. I think I'm too pissed off at the moment.

wtf people?


buck got drunk, posted on CP @ 1:40 AM and you guys didn't egg him on?

who the hell knows what crap he would have confessed...

Inspector
03-25-2011, 08:34 AM
I am oblong and my knees have been removed. And my pet alligator died.

Dave Lane
03-25-2011, 04:32 PM
You know, it's kind of funny, actually. In a sad, strange, sort of way. I have occasionally considered regaling you guys with stories from my life. Unfortunately, I know that most of you would not believe that they actually occurred. It's as though my life history would be considered more fiction than biographical. That's an odd feeling, to be honest.

However, I will tell you this much; I'm married. I own a dog I rescued from a life on the streets. And, I despise the gopher-people.

FAX

My story would be much the same. The players would be different, from a different industry but as well known perhaps. I have truly been able to truly live the dream and remain profoundly grateful for all life has shown and allowed for me.

I passed through Nashville a few nights ago and would have loved to share experiences in some small gopher free establishment.

Jerm
03-25-2011, 04:38 PM
I have a pet narwhal.

crazycoffey
03-25-2011, 08:28 PM
Wow....that made me wet. You need more details thought. :drool:

If I were a guy, I would never, ever, admit it was only 5". LMAO

I've never been to a donkey show, I couldn't give you any details. :thumb:

And, wtf is, TTIUWOP??


more details? Maybe during a bash type event so I can see you blush...
oh, and I'm hung like a light switch.

RJ
03-25-2011, 08:37 PM
oh, whatever. The day I left my first wife, I went to shoot some pool at a local billiards bar and some girl bought me a drink. I re-payed the favor and invited her to play a few racks with me. A few short hours later, I was invited to stay with her and her other stripper roommate. Since I had no other place to stay, I indulged. As a man looking for sex stories, just getting over a divorce, and open to try many deviant things; I decided to go with it and have the time of my life.

It was not my first, nor my last, threesome. It was not my first, nor my last, BJ with a pierced tongue. It was not my first, nor last pierced nipples to play with. But it was the only time I had strippers throwing their stripper money to other strippers to dance all over me. And it wasn't a horrible time. I just knew it couldn't last. And when that first girl stripper started telling me she loved me, I just knew I couldn't reciprocate. As a man looking for serious relationships and not sexual diseases, I had to call it quits. In many ways it was the best month of my life....


That sounds like a good time but you never once mentioned anything about carpet and vinyl samples.

crazycoffey
03-25-2011, 08:39 PM
That sounds like a good time but you never once mentioned anything about carpet and vinyl samples.

Yes I did, munching carpet and leaving my vinyl samples all over the fucking place....

RJ
03-25-2011, 08:42 PM
I will mail you $14 if you tell me everything.


Don't forget to include a self-addressed, stamped envelope.

RJ
03-25-2011, 08:43 PM
Yes I did, munching carpet and leaving my vinyl samples all over the ****ing place....


Ah, so it was back in the day when the lawn was left to grow.

crazycoffey
03-25-2011, 08:45 PM
Ah, so it was back in the day when the lawn was left to grow.


I am old...
let's see, landing strips were still pretty popular in 1999, right?

RJ
03-25-2011, 08:56 PM
You know, it's kind of funny, actually. In a sad, strange, sort of way. I have occasionally considered regaling you guys with stories from my life. Unfortunately, I know that most of you would not believe that they actually occurred. It's as though my life history would be considered more fiction than biographical. That's an odd feeling, to be honest.

However, I will tell you this much; I'm married. I own a dog I rescued from a life on the streets. And, I despise the gopher-people.

FAX


One of these days you might decide you want to tell those stories but it will be too late because we've all passed away and the only ones left to hear the tales will be a bunch of nOobs (sp?). Life is too short for egrets. Also regrets.

RJ
03-25-2011, 08:57 PM
I am old...
let's see, landing strips were still pretty popular in 1999, right?

That sounds about right. For me, it was a gradual occurrence.

crazycoffey
03-25-2011, 08:59 PM
That sounds about right. For me, it was a gradual occurrence.

yeah, growing old works that way....

go bowe
03-25-2011, 09:41 PM
If you would rather hear stories about donkey shows, be my guest. Besides, I'm the one with the supply, you would need to meet my demands. ;)
all right red!!!

now we're cookin'... :thumb: :thumb: :thumb: