View Full Version : Life If you're going to bang my wife.

Al Bundy
03-24-2011, 08:09 PM
to the dude(s) banging my wife (a-town)

Date: 2011-03-16, 9:52AM AKDT
Reply To This Post

I know, I know... itís a sweet piece ainít it. That thing she does with her tongue.... OMG (youíre welcome... I taught her that) Hell, Iíd be hitting that right now if a trip to Prov last year didnít change all that. Luckily a shot in the butt and a few pills took care of it, but from what I know now... I could have been much worse. Iíd kick her to the curve in a second, but she really is a good Mom. I know I'm gone a lot, but a guy has to work. She knew before we got married I'd be gone two weeks every month, and she sure doesn't complain about the paycheck.

I just have a few favors, common courtesy if you will, AND a little advise.

Iím not sure if youíre that APD cruiser guy thatís comes by or the airman or from what my neighbor lady tells me any number of guys, but:

1. please trim, shave, wax, ďmanscapeĒ or whatever it takes. Those short red/black/brown curlies I keep finding are creeping me out, and Iím getting sick of boiling my sheets every time I get home from the slope

2.learn to put the seat down and clean up your bad aim. Iím the only guy that lives here, and isnít me.

3.Stop messing with my Xbox. I donít get to play it often, but when I do, donít want to see your score up there.... Yes, ďyou the manĒ at Black Ops, and i obviously am not. If her box isnít enough for you. Shovel the driveway or fix the sink downstairs. Iím not much of a plumber. Maybe one of you are. Thanks in advance.
4.STOP using my lube. Itís my personal JO supply. Itís not expensive, but it is mine. Next time if find some missing there will be some cayenne in there for both your enjoyment. Yah, I guess you could say Iím a bit bitter

5.learn how to reset the browser history on the computer. Iím not into shemales or transexuals, perhaps my wife is now, but I seriously doubt it.

6.Please do not knock her up. I do not want to raise your child. Iíve had a vasectomy and I know she says sheís on the pill....Ējust to regulate her cycleĒ Believe me. if you wrap it up, youíll be much safer.

Check the medicine cabinet, or her purse. Youíll find a rx for Valtrex from Carrs. I checked the dosages, itís not for ďcold soresĒ Iím no doctor but you donít take 1000mg every day for that. One of you guys gave her the gift that keeps on giving. Luckily Iíve tested clean. I really am a nice guy, and wouldnít even wish that on Joe Miller. Just in case I bought a box of Magnums and put them in the night stand. (if I know her. Youíll probably need that size)

One of you guys with sausage fingers left a gold band.. Iím guessing youíre looking for it. Next time you come over, bring a bottle of Jager and a case of Corona and iíll tell you where it is.

Location: a-town
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Fuck off if repost.

03-24-2011, 08:13 PM

Psyko Tek
03-24-2011, 09:37 PM
but he should kick her at the Y
and then kick her to the curve

Rain Man
03-24-2011, 09:52 PM
Man, when I saw this title and saw the UCFGoldenknight had started it, my heart skipped a beat. Glad it's just a craigslist deal.

Pitt Gorilla
03-24-2011, 09:53 PM
I just assumed it was another Weezer song thread.

03-24-2011, 09:59 PM
It wasn't very nice of you assholes to run MTG10 to craigslist.

The poor guy should be comfortable to post about his problems here.

03-24-2011, 10:08 PM
I really don't think any of these requests are out of line. This is why I never leave my house. My first wife really did a number on me.

03-24-2011, 10:16 PM
I thought he ment John Miller from Sunday night baseball

03-24-2011, 11:59 PM
Is this guy another one of GoChiefs's friends?

03-25-2011, 04:38 AM
Is this guy another one of GoChiefs's friends? couldn't be, he obviously likes females

03-25-2011, 06:19 AM
Nice. Put up a cam in the bedroom.

Sofa King
03-25-2011, 07:23 AM
Sounds like the guy needs to leave some kitty toys by the front door.

03-25-2011, 07:27 AM
Nice. Put up a cam in the bedroom.

Thats what I was thinkin; then beam it live on teh intrawebs.