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View Full Version : Life Combatting Door to Door Salesmen Advice


NewChief
04-12-2011, 08:01 PM
My wife got exploited today. Some pushy fucker came to our door, intimidated her, and talked her into buying his product through strong arm tactics.

I've looked up the company and products online and see that this is common practice for them and complaits to the company go unheeded. So I've written this one off. But there's always future such occurrences, and I want to protect my wife (who is home alone all day working) from being scared and intimidated by some slimy thug and pressured into paying for something just to get rid of him.

So: no solicitors sign? Train her in how to slam the door in people's faces? Have her call the cops? How can I empower her to feel safe, secure, and confident in the future in dealing with these scenarios (and gun training is not the answer as someone would end up dead).

milkman
04-12-2011, 08:03 PM
Don't open the door.

Easy.

OnTheWarpath58
04-12-2011, 08:03 PM
No solicitors sign, and personally, we don't answer our door unless we recognize who it is. (FedEx, neighbor, Publisher's Clearing House, etc.)

Donger
04-12-2011, 08:05 PM
Don't open the door.

NewChief
04-12-2011, 08:06 PM
Don't open the door.

Easy.

She usually doesn't. This guy had, evidetky, waited until UPS came to deliver, then he walked up and confronted my wife before she could get back inside, which is one if the things that freaked her out and pissed me off.

Simplex3
04-12-2011, 08:06 PM
I don't bother with the sign. We just don't open the door. We have a door-height window right by the door and the salespeople can see us as we round the corner, see them, and then go back to what we were doing. They get the hint.

Baconeater
04-12-2011, 08:06 PM
I don't answer the door unless I know who it is. And I bet the company was Kirby.

cdcox
04-12-2011, 08:07 PM
Antifreeze lemonade.

Simplex3
04-12-2011, 08:07 PM
She usually doesn't. This guy had, evidetky, waited until UPS came to deliver, then he walked up and confronted my wife before she could get back inside, which is one if the things that freaked her out and pissed me off.

If you have the sales person's name you could always call the police and/or city and see if he had a license (assuming your area requires those).

Pablo
04-12-2011, 08:07 PM
Teach her how to say "No thanks" and turn around.

Bane
04-12-2011, 08:07 PM
Land mines.
Posted via Mobile Device

milkman
04-12-2011, 08:07 PM
I don't bother with the sign. We just don't open the door. We have a door-height window right by the door and the salespeople can see us as we round the corner, see them, and then go back to what we were doing. They get the hint.

I don't answer the door unless I know who it is. And I bet the company was Kirby.

I actually enjoy opening the door so I can tell them to get the fuck away from my house and close the door on them.

milkman
04-12-2011, 08:08 PM
So...What did she buy?

KurtCobain
04-12-2011, 08:09 PM
So this is crap. Isn't your wife Trent Green's sister? As a huge fan of Green this appalls me. Send me the name of the company and I'll send them anthrax.

cdcox
04-12-2011, 08:09 PM
Did she sign a contract? You have 3 business days to void it. Cancel the check.

OnTheWarpath58
04-12-2011, 08:09 PM
So...What did she buy?

Apparently not the MLB package...

Simplex3
04-12-2011, 08:09 PM
Heck, if she wrote a check cancel it.

NewChief
04-12-2011, 08:09 PM
He also told her that our addition was really nice, and it's in the back yard, not viewable unless you walk around into our back yard.

OnTheWarpath58
04-12-2011, 08:09 PM
Did she sign a contract? You have 3 business days to void it. Cancel the check.

Good call.

DaFace
04-12-2011, 08:10 PM
Did she sign a contract? You have 3 business days to void it. Cancel the check.

I was going to mention this. If it's a lot of money, just back out of it.

KC native
04-12-2011, 08:10 PM
get a pit bull. Aside from the awesome companionship, they usually scare the shit out of any random people that walk up to the door.

milkman
04-12-2011, 08:11 PM
Apparently not the MLB package...

That was something she did on her own.

No one came to the door to sell her anything, or called.

She made the call.

NewChief
04-12-2011, 08:11 PM
Advanage Diversified Products, Inc. 20x Citrus Cleaner.

cdcox
04-12-2011, 08:12 PM
Get a dog.

WV
04-12-2011, 08:12 PM
Put on a surgical mask and ask them if they've been vaccinated for TB.

WhitiE
04-12-2011, 08:12 PM
I guess its different for a man? Say "no thanks" and close the freaking door....

cabletech94
04-12-2011, 08:13 PM
Advanage Diversified Products, Inc. 20x Citrus Cleaner.

she should really be cleaning right now. right?:doh!:

OnTheWarpath58
04-12-2011, 08:13 PM
That was something she did on her own.

No one came to the door to sell her anything, or called.

She made the call.

Joke, dude.

NewChief
04-12-2011, 08:13 PM
I was going to mention this. If it's a lot of money, just back out of it.

No contract. One time sale of a cleaning product for $40. Doh!

OnTheWarpath58
04-12-2011, 08:14 PM
No contract. One time sale of a cleaning product for $40. Doh!

Guess it's time for her to grab some gloves and start scrubbing, then.

NewChief
04-12-2011, 08:14 PM
Get a dog.

Fat fucker had run off to the doughnut shop down the street's dumpster (i wish I was kidding)

KurtCobain
04-12-2011, 08:15 PM
Advanage Diversified Products, Inc. 20x Citrus Cleaner.

They'll be getting dead rotten lamb parts via ups very soon.

milkman
04-12-2011, 08:15 PM
Joke, dude.

Just pointing out she didn't open the door.

Hell, I'm lucky she opens the door for me.

Baconeater
04-12-2011, 08:15 PM
Advanage Diversified Products, Inc. 20x Citrus Cleaner.
Ah yes, they're the ones who recruit people to sell the crap, drag them several states away and pay them next to nothing and leave them stranded when they quit.

crazycoffey
04-12-2011, 08:18 PM
If you have the sales person's name you could always call the police and/or city and see if he had a license (assuming your area requires those).


this, and maybe the cops will confiscate the product he's selling just to help buy a new siren!

J/K :p

no but seriously a lot of municipalities do require permits, and even if they don't the police wouldn't mind being called. We have "field interview reports" that are perfect for these situations, if the neighborhood gets a rash of burglaries it gives the detectives a starting point in investigating them. Even if the sales person isn't the one that was doing the break-ins or sharing the information with someone else to do them, they may have seen something suspicious.

Bwana
04-12-2011, 08:18 PM
Hmmm?

http://morrisonworldnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Taser-gun.jpg

http://3quarksdaily.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/nunchucks_1.jpg

http://www.jerrysoutdoors.com/images/BC111878300.jpg

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4PuF321tsB8/S_rpRk5ZSDI/AAAAAAAAAIU/RDRX1-M1BuA/s320/doberman+teeth.jpg (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4PuF321tsB8/S_rpRk5ZSDI/AAAAAAAAAIU/RDRX1-M1BuA/s1600/doberman+teeth.jpg)

http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2009-12-31-jackbauer.jpg

DaFace
04-12-2011, 08:18 PM
Ah yes, they're the ones who recruit people to sell the crap, drag them several states away and pay them next to nothing and leave them stranded when they quit.

Yep. I had a lady try and sell me that stuff a year or so ago. She had a big sob story (which could have been legit) about not having any money and how they drop her off each day. If I had cash in my pocket, I probably would have given her $10 and told her to keep the crap cleaner. As it was, I tried to be as nice as I could and just told her to politely fuck off.

Okie_Apparition
04-12-2011, 08:19 PM
I'd like to have a bottle for my nightstand. If the stuff really works.

Demonpenz
04-12-2011, 08:20 PM
i tell them you have to go find trent greens superbowl ring and close the door

NewChief
04-12-2011, 08:21 PM
Ah yes, they're the ones who recruit people to sell the crap, drag them several states away and pay them next to nothing and leave them stranded when they quit.

Yup. And the awesome part is that they advertise it as if they're doing charitable work by employing these inner city kids.

crazycoffey
04-12-2011, 08:23 PM
Yup. And the awesome part is that they advertise it as if they're doing charitable work by employing these inner city kids.


even more of a reason to FIR them, that and he/she knew about something in the back yard. he/she was very likely scoping the neighborhood out.

Superturtle
04-12-2011, 08:23 PM
Thats a bit fucked up, I must say

siberian khatru
04-12-2011, 08:26 PM
I don't answer the door unless I know who it is. And I bet the company was Kirby.

I dealt with those fuckers a couple of years ago, after the wife naively accepted their "free carpet cleaning" offer. What a nightmare.

OnTheWarpath58
04-12-2011, 08:26 PM
Yup. And the awesome part is that they advertise it as if they're doing charitable work by employing these inner city kids.

http://blog.planetd21.com/images/office_space_magazines.jpg

Superturtle
04-12-2011, 08:27 PM
I dealt with those fuckers a couple of years ago, after the wife naively accepted their "free carpet cleaning" offer. What a nightmare.
Explain, please?

Superturtle
04-12-2011, 08:28 PM
I can vaguely remember some scruffy twenty something trying to sell us a ton of meat put of the back of his truck...

DaFace
04-12-2011, 08:28 PM
Explain, please?

They'll clean your pubes for free. It's really awkward.

siberian khatru
04-12-2011, 08:30 PM
Explain, please?

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showpost.php?p=6639735&postcount=9

Baconeater
04-12-2011, 08:31 PM
I dealt with those fuckers a couple of years ago, after the wife naively accepted their "free carpet cleaning" offer. What a nightmare.
Hehe, yeah you don't even want to let them in your door. They'll fuck up your whole evening without thinking twice about it.

Demonpenz
04-12-2011, 08:32 PM
3-28? apprently there is a season for these tings

Superturtle
04-12-2011, 08:32 PM
They'll clean your pubes for free. It's really awkward.
http://www.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs4/1221133_o.gif

crazycoffey
04-12-2011, 08:35 PM
http://blog.planetd21.com/images/office_space_magazines.jpg


office space rocks

Donger
04-12-2011, 08:35 PM
Yeah, get a dog. My Dobe is trained to bare teeth at anyone who comes to the door.

NewChief
04-12-2011, 08:35 PM
Called the police department and the dispatcher said there was nothing they could do now. Said that she should have called them at the time and the city has no ordinance against unlicensed salespeople. Did say there had been other complaints today.

Demonpenz
04-12-2011, 08:36 PM
I love paying taxes for nothin

OnTheWarpath58
04-12-2011, 08:37 PM
Holy fuck.

http://www.advanagedp.com/specials.htm

Our five-liter Specials for ADVANAGE 20X are perfect examples of this. For only $129.95 you receive five liters of ADVANGE 20X – a savings of $54.80.

$130 for 5 liters of water, alcohol and fragrance?

Donger
04-12-2011, 08:38 PM
Called the police department and the dispatcher said there was nothing they could do now. Said that she should have called them at the time and the city has no ordinance against unlicensed salespeople. Did say there had been other complaints today.

Then why should she have called at the time? It sounds like no law was violated.

Phobia
04-12-2011, 08:38 PM
I think KS and MO have buyer's remorse laws for anything over a certain amount of money. You have 48 hours (or thereabouts) to call them and tell them to pick up their crap.

WhitiE
04-12-2011, 08:39 PM
Holy ****.

http://www.advanagedp.com/specials.htm



$130 for 5 liters of water, alcohol and fragrance?

yeah, but its top shelf alcohol....

Superturtle
04-12-2011, 08:39 PM
wouldnt lemon pledge do the trick? That black lady told me so.

crazycoffey
04-12-2011, 08:43 PM
Called the police department and the dispatcher said there was nothing they could do now. Said that she should have called them at the time and the city has no ordinance against unlicensed salespeople. Did say there had been other complaints today.


yeah, they would want to get their contact information while they are in the neighborhood, I'd double check the city website for information on your city's muni code and not just take the dispatcher's word for it.

No offense to dispatchers, some are awesome shiny examples of communication, some just collect paychecks and don't give two shits about the city in any way.

NewChief
04-12-2011, 08:45 PM
Then why should she have called at the time? It sounds like no law was violated.

Yeah. She made that clear. Just said that they'd check the person out and make sure he was a legit salesperson. Also the fact that he'd been in our back yard.

crazycoffey
04-12-2011, 08:45 PM
Then why should she have called at the time? It sounds like no law was violated.


not all departments will, but if I were called, I'd get their contact information (the FIR - field interview report I spoke of earlier) and ask how he knew about the addition in the back.

crazycoffey
04-12-2011, 08:46 PM
tap tap, is this thing on?
testing 1,2,3...

NewChief
04-12-2011, 08:49 PM
not all departments will, but if I were called, I'd get their contact information (the FIR - field interview report I spoke of earlier) and ask how he knew about the addition in the back.

Yes. That's about what she said. Thanks.

Phobia
04-12-2011, 08:51 PM
http://blog.laborlawtalk.com/2006/12/05/arkansas-buyers-remorse-laws/

OnTheWarpath58
04-12-2011, 08:58 PM
http://blog.laborlawtalk.com/2006/12/05/arkansas-buyers-remorse-laws/

Arkansas has no buyers remorse laws that cover traditional retail sales. However, according to the Arkansas Attorney General’s office, whenever you sign a contract or make a purchase over $25 as a result of an in-home solicitation, you have a three-day right to cancel.

This is known as the “cooling off” period, sometimes also called the Arkansas buyers remorse laws. The salesperson must notify the buyer orally of the right to cancel and provide a written form to sign; stating that notification of the right to cancel has been given.

So, how does one go about canceling and getting his cash back?

ReynardMuldrake
04-12-2011, 08:59 PM
http://blog.laborlawtalk.com/2006/12/05/arkansas-buyers-remorse-laws/

Arkansas?

NewChief
04-12-2011, 09:00 PM
Arkansas?

That's where I am.

Phobia
04-12-2011, 09:02 PM
So, how does one go about canceling and getting his cash back?

If the salesman didn't give them a sheet of paper with instructions I'd be contacting the attorney general office.

ReynardMuldrake
04-12-2011, 09:02 PM
That's where I am.

Well, duh. Carry on.

Saulbadguy
04-12-2011, 09:05 PM
At worst it's a $40 lesson. Let it go, and next time have her call the cops if they refuse to leave.

Rain Man
04-12-2011, 09:10 PM
A classic Pavlovian solution would be to beat your wife severely with the bottle of cleaner, while ringing the doorbell. In the future, hearing the doorbell will be associated with pain and the door to door product, and she will merely hunker down and cower in fear instead of buying future products.

NewChief
04-12-2011, 09:13 PM
A classic Pavlovian solution would be to beat your wife severely with the bottle of cleaner, while ringing the doorbell. In the future, hearing the doorbell will be associated with pain and the door to door product, and she will merely hunker down and cower in fear instead of buying future products.

Unfortunately, you're close to the truth. I think next time, she's not going to worry about the salesman as much as my complete freak out when I get home and find out what happened.

Gonzo
04-12-2011, 09:14 PM
I was gonna guess Rainbow. I had a "run in" with one of them last year.
Posted via Mobile Device

Hog Farmer
04-12-2011, 09:18 PM
I always open the door. Let them give me a sales pitch. Then tell them I'm broke but would gladly trade for boar jizz.

Baconeater
04-12-2011, 09:32 PM
I was gonna guess Rainbow. I had a "run in" with one of them last year.
Posted via Mobile Device
I have never had one of them show up here, but the Kirby fuckers come by at least once a year, just like clockwork.

Bump
04-12-2011, 09:34 PM
give them one of these next time the come

http://i1106.photobucket.com/albums/h361/Bump4/gifs/Headbutt-dexter-9352148-254-143.gif

Phobia
04-12-2011, 09:35 PM
I have never had one of them show up here, but the Kirby ****ers come by at least once a year, just like clockwork.

Those Kirby guys drive me crazy. I always ask them if they'd like to see my first aid kit.

Ugly Duck
04-12-2011, 09:42 PM
I usta keep a basket near the front door. I'd put it over my head & then open the door for the salesperson & just stand there. Never say a word & just wait for them to go away. Left my basket behind when I moved to Petaluma so then I'd just drop my pants & silently stand there till they went away. My wife put a stop to that when she saw a slackjaw Jehova's Witness & her daughter standing on the front porch staring at me with my wang hanging out. She just has no sense of humor, that one. Now I just don't answer the door for salespeople - very boring....

cdcox
04-12-2011, 10:31 PM
An elderly woman was raped and killed in her own home less than 2 miles from where I live by a member of a traveling door-to-door magazine sales group.

OnTheWarpath58
04-12-2011, 10:33 PM
An elderly woman was raped and killed in her own home less than 2 miles from where I live by a member of a traveling door-to-door magazine sales group.

Jesus.

Seriously?

DTLB58
04-12-2011, 10:35 PM
Reminds me of the time the Jehovah witness came to the door.

They knocked, I went to the door, saw them and said "On NFL draft day! Are you f***ing serious? And slammed the door in their face.


Last election year, My wife says someone is at the door for you, it's a politician. I went to the door, opened it and just said I'm NOT interested and closed the door. He stood on my porch for a few seconds but eventually got in his car and left.

I only buy/into something if I initate it, otherwise I assume it's a scam.

Rain Man
04-12-2011, 10:51 PM
An elderly woman was raped and killed in her own home less than 2 miles from where I live by a member of a traveling door-to-door magazine sales group.

That's bad salesmanship right there.

Sure-Oz
04-12-2011, 10:52 PM
A fuck off will do

Rain Man
04-12-2011, 10:53 PM
Reminds me of the time the Jehovah witness came to the door.

They knocked, I went to the door, saw them and said "On NFL draft day! Are you f***ing serious? And slammed the door in their face.



I had a Jehovah's witness try to stop me on a jog once. I'm out on the bike/jogging trail running and they're walking by and one of them wanted to talk to me. Who tries to stop someone on a jogging trail to talk religion?

Buehler445
04-12-2011, 11:05 PM
Tell her to answer the door with this.

http://tacticalsam.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/12gaugepump2.jpg

cdcox
04-12-2011, 11:10 PM
Jesus.

Seriously?

Yep.

There are websites designated to these bastards:

http://www.travelingsalescrews.info/

MoreLemonPledge
04-12-2011, 11:26 PM
wouldnt lemon pledge do the trick? That black lady told me so.

http://afrojacks.com/images/stories/thats_racist_animated_11197.gif

CrazyPhuD
04-13-2011, 12:43 AM
My mom was telling me a story about one of my old teachers, how one spring they had an issue with I believe jehovah witnesses ringing the doorbell at 8am every Saturday for a few weeks. I think 5 weeks into it her husband said fuck it this has to stop, rolls out of bed and answers the door buck naked. They turned around and left and didn't come back.

Stryker
04-13-2011, 07:04 AM
Tell her to answer the door with this.

http://tacticalsam.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/12gaugepump2.jpg

My first thought. I'll be damned if anyone is going to sell/push anything or enter my home unwarranted. Fuck-to-the-you!

Saulbadguy
04-13-2011, 07:05 AM
That's bad salesmanship right there.

:LOL:

Bewbies
04-13-2011, 07:14 AM
One thing I love about living in a condo is that nobody ever comes to my door. Ever.

Radar Chief
04-13-2011, 07:15 AM
First thought: do you have a gun? If so, teach her to answer the door with it.
Second thought: got a dog? If not, get one. Doesn’t have to be a big one just a growler, bitter and if possible a leg humper.

Dayze
04-13-2011, 07:27 AM
I used to be polite when encountering them; now I either don't answer the door, or if they catch me outside or whatever, I just walk inside and shut the door. I used to live in an area that would get flooded with these people all the time and got tired of it quickly.

brorth
04-13-2011, 07:35 AM
Advanage?
They're the "this stuff is so safe, watch me drink it!" people.
Easy Solution:
1.Put spray bottle of antifreeze by front door.
2.Let them just start presentation.
3.Ask to see bottle and pull the switcharoo.
4.????
5.PROFIT!

MOhillbilly
04-13-2011, 07:37 AM
My dad would send the GSD out on em.

Mile High Mania
04-13-2011, 07:42 AM
I haven't read through all of this, but I have a few thoughts...

1) If you don't recognize the person, don't open the door. Or, if you have a window by the door, simply ask "how can I help you" through the window and then walk away if it's a solicitor.

2) I live in a town that has a law against 'door to door solicitors' unless they have a permit from city hall. So, ask for the permit... if they stumble, walk away and tell them you're calling the police.

3) Ignore the door. Don't answer it.

I will typically answer the door and if it's a kid (scouts, school, etc) selling something as a fundraiser, that's no big deal. If it's an adult - I don't open the door all the way, give them 10 seconds and then say 'no thanks' and shut the door.

They will leave. And, if they don't - then you call the cops.

I wasn't comfortable with the notion of calling the cops, but there were these 2 guys in a beat up truck selling stuff... I thought something looked out of place, so I called the cops. They were there in 3 minutes (it's a small town) and the driver actually had a warrant - so, he was arrested.

A lot of these folks are scoping out neighborhoods and if your wife is home alone... there is just no need to open the door.

Mile High Mania
04-13-2011, 07:44 AM
I had a Jehovah's witness try to stop me on a jog once. I'm out on the bike/jogging trail running and they're walking by and one of them wanted to talk to me. Who tries to stop someone on a jogging trail to talk religion?

I remember back when I was 10... there were about six of us riding bikes and 2 of these guys stopped us to talk. I thought it was weird and they started off with a prayer... my bike was pointed down hill, so when they started ... I coasted away.

rad
04-13-2011, 07:45 AM
I sold Electroluxes one summer when I was 20. No high pressure stuff, they let us do our own thing. I heard a lot of horror stories from customers about the Kirby people. I met a lot strange people that summer. Job sucked though. No pay unless you sold something.

Mile High Mania
04-13-2011, 07:46 AM
If you have a dog... it's also a good thought to answer the door with your dog right there, possibly on a leash to avoid anything negative happening. Most people don't like/trust dogs in a situation like that...

I've answered the door with a butcher knife before... just for kicks and grins... said I was "preparing dinner, how can I help".

Mile High Mania
04-13-2011, 07:47 AM
I sold Electroluxes one summer when I was 20. No high pressure stuff, they let us do our own thing. I heard a lot of horror stories from customers about the Kirby people. I met a lot strange people that summer. Job sucked though. No pay unless you sold something.

My favorite is the person that shows up... looks 23, but says they're in high school learning how to better themselves and asks if I would listen to their speech and buy a magazine to help them.

suds79
04-13-2011, 07:49 AM
People answer the door to door to door salesmen? huh. Who knew. :shrug:

NewChief
04-13-2011, 07:49 AM
If you have a dog... it's also a good thought to answer the door with your dog right there, possibly on a leash to avoid anything negative happening. Most people don't like/trust dogs in a situation like that...

I've answered the door with a butcher knife before... just for kicks and grins... said I was "preparing dinner, how can I help".

Usually our dog is a barker whenever anyone knocks on the door. Also, my wife doesn't usually answer the door.

This creep waited until UPS delivered a package, and then came rushing up to the door while my wife was still outside getting the package. That was the thing that freaked her out first. It only got worse when he started talking about our "really nice addition in the back yard" (which isn't visible unless you're in our back yard). The whole situation was really unsettling for her, and that's why she ended up buying the stuff. She felt threatened and just wanted to get rid of the guy without conflict. I think it was a calculated sales technique on this dude's part to make my wife feel that way.

Our fat ass labrador was also out on a donut run (he escapes occasionally and makes his way to the local donut shop and raids their garbage).

suds79
04-13-2011, 07:53 AM
Was reading through the history. Came across the waiting until UPS guy came tactic before approaching.

I guess as some point you simply have to know how to say no.

Shoot pull the ole "sounds good but my husband/wife (whoever's talking) don't make decisions without consulting eachother first." and just be a broken record.

Just have to stick to your guns that's all.

tooge
04-13-2011, 07:53 AM
teach her to throw poop at them. Its so easy, monkeys do it

seclark
04-13-2011, 07:54 AM
the wife and i are usually gone during the day, so when someone pulls in our drive, old uncle ernie will go out and meet them. he'll invite them in and play one of his guitars for them, and tell them what things were like in the 1940's. they usually take off pretty quick and don't leave a card.

my ups driver told me about the first time he delivered after ernie moved in. he gave that pc clipboard for ernie to sign. ernie told him the pen didn't work and went inside to get his own.LMAO now the driver just signs my name, leaves the package and sneaks off before ernie gets his shoes on and comes outside.
sec

kepp
04-13-2011, 07:58 AM
the wife and i are usually gone during the day, so when someone pulls in our drive, old uncle ernie will go out and meet them. he'll invite them in and play one of his guitars for them, and tell them what things were like in the 1940's. they usually take off pretty quick and don't leave a card.

my ups driver told me about the first time he delivered after ernie moved in. he gave that pc clipboard for ernie to sign. ernie told him the pen didn't work and went inside to get his own.LMAO now the driver just signs my name, leaves the package and sneaks off before ernie gets his shoes on and comes outside.
sec

Sounds like more people could use an Ernie.

Mile High Mania
04-13-2011, 08:01 AM
Usually our dog is a barker whenever anyone knocks on the door. Also, my wife doesn't usually answer the door.

This creep waited until UPS delivered a package, and then came rushing up to the door while my wife was still outside getting the package. That was the thing that freaked her out first. It only got worse when he started talking about our "really nice addition in the back yard" (which isn't visible unless you're in our back yard). The whole situation was really unsettling for her, and that's why she ended up buying the stuff. She felt threatened and just wanted to get rid of the guy without conflict. I think it was a calculated sales technique on this dude's part to make my wife feel that way.

Our fat ass labrador was also out on a donut run (he escapes occasionally and makes his way to the local donut shop and raids their garbage).

Question... so, did she have cash or a check with her when she went outside? Or did she have to go back inside to get that stuff and then go back outside to buy it so he would leave?

If she had to go inside... that's when you lock the door and call the cops. Or at least tell him you're calling the cops.

I might also drive around the neighborhood and see if you see this character.

NewChief
04-13-2011, 08:20 AM
Was reading through the history. Came across the waiting until UPS guy came tactic before approaching.

I guess as some point you simply have to know how to say no.

Shoot pull the ole "sounds good but my husband/wife (whoever's talking) don't make decisions without consulting eachother first." and just be a broken record.

Just have to stick to your guns that's all.

Yeah. That's what I told her. I think he just shook her up and threw her off. I don't think it will happen again after the shit fit I threw last night.

NewChief
04-13-2011, 08:21 AM
Question... so, did she have cash or a check with her when she went outside? Or did she have to go back inside to get that stuff and then go back outside to buy it so he would leave?

If she had to go inside... that's when you lock the door and call the cops. Or at least tell him you're calling the cops.

I might also drive around the neighborhood and see if you see this character.

Good idea. I think she was worried about being rude or whatever. I've now coached her on being rude and saying no. I told her to just pretend like the guy is me, drunk and wanting sex, when she's not in the mood.

Rain Man
04-13-2011, 08:35 AM
I've answered the door with a butcher knife before... just for kicks and grins... said I was "preparing dinner, how can I help".


Slightly off topic, but in my office building I'm often the last one to leave on my floor, so I shut off the hallway lights. (I hate leaving lights on when no one's around.) I'll wait for the elevator and it's more or less pitch dark while I do.

Now, the five floors above us are a gym/health club, so there are people on those floors occasionally who'll work out late, and occasionally they'll be on the elevator when it opens. I've been told laughingly by a couple of people that it's rather freaky to have the elevator open on a blacked-out floor and then some guy comes out of the darkness to get on the elevator, and I can see that.

Ever since I started hearing that, I've had this urge to, at some point, either stand in front of the elevators with a hockey mask and chain saw, and let the door open and close without moving, or to stand there with an axe and then climb aboard the elevator and quietly ride it down.

Simplex3
04-13-2011, 08:43 AM
Ever since I started hearing that, I've had this urge to, at some point, either stand in front of the elevators with a hockey mask and chain saw, and let the door open and close without moving, or to stand there with an axe and then climb aboard the elevator and quietly ride it down.

Just make sure you videotape it.

MOhillbilly
04-13-2011, 08:49 AM
the wife and i are usually gone during the day, so when someone pulls in our drive, old uncle ernie will go out and meet them. he'll invite them in and play one of his guitars for them, and tell them what things were like in the 1940's. they usually take off pretty quick and don't leave a card.

my ups driver told me about the first time he delivered after ernie moved in. he gave that pc clipboard for ernie to sign. ernie told him the pen didn't work and went inside to get his own.LMAO now the driver just signs my name, leaves the package and sneaks off before ernie gets his shoes on and comes outside.
sec

id love to cop a buzz and listen to uncle ernie.

Valiant
04-13-2011, 08:57 AM
Good idea. I think she was worried about being rude or whatever. I've now coached her on being rude and saying no. I told her to just pretend like the guy is me, drunk and wanting sex, when she's not in the mood.

Don't tell her that. Then she will call me and complain.

I keed I keed.

Seems ike she learned her lesson. I always tell them I don't own the place. Did that to the paperboy to. I didn't know we got the paper??

Thinking back now. That would be a good scam. Drive around telling people they owe money for he paper.

Radar Chief
04-13-2011, 09:00 AM
Sounds like more people could use an Ernie.

Yup, sounds like Uncle Ernie rocks. :thumb:

Rain Man
04-13-2011, 09:03 AM
Thinking back now. That would be a good scam. Drive around telling people they owe money for he paper.


If I was ever homeless and desperate, I have the perfect way to get food. You just contact a law firm or an accounting firm or a marketing firm and tell them that you're representing the Chi Hai Gau firm in China and that you're looking for a firm to represent you in the U.S. You're available from 12 to 1 on Monday if they'd like to discuss it. Voila - 100% likelihood of a free lunch.

KurtCobain
04-13-2011, 09:05 AM
So this sexy young woman comes to my door trying to sell a kirby. I told her if she could prove that she can suck just as hard as the vacuum, I'd buy it. She was pretty good, but I unloaded into the vacuum.

Reerun_KC
04-13-2011, 09:19 AM
No solicitors sign, and personally, we don't answer our door unless we recognize who it is. (FedEx, neighbor, Publisher's Clearing House, etc.)

this is why you left me standing in the rain the other day? I even had on a cheifs shirt, beer and a name tag...

:huh:

Detoxing
04-13-2011, 10:47 AM
I dealt with those ****ers a couple of years ago, after the wife naively accepted their "free carpet cleaning" offer. What a nightmare.

Oh ****, you've brought back memories that i've been trying to suppress for years.

We had some people come up and say that they were doing free carpet cleaning for some sort of school event. Or some shit like that at least.

Apparently it was just a ploy to get in our door. Once they were in they wouldn't ****ing leave. Trying to sell me some Kirby or some shit. Bastards. I started getting pissed after they gave me excuse after excuse as to why they couldn't GTFO. They finally got the message.

Mile High Mania
04-13-2011, 11:04 AM
Slightly off topic, but in my office building I'm often the last one to leave on my floor, so I shut off the hallway lights. (I hate leaving lights on when no one's around.) I'll wait for the elevator and it's more or less pitch dark while I do.

Now, the five floors above us are a gym/health club, so there are people on those floors occasionally who'll work out late, and occasionally they'll be on the elevator when it opens. I've been told laughingly by a couple of people that it's rather freaky to have the elevator open on a blacked-out floor and then some guy comes out of the darkness to get on the elevator, and I can see that.

Ever since I started hearing that, I've had this urge to, at some point, either stand in front of the elevators with a hockey mask and chain saw, and let the door open and close without moving, or to stand there with an axe and then climb aboard the elevator and quietly ride it down.


:evil:

Or, you could be standing there... looking a bit confused and sweating, staring at your hands covered in 'ketchup'... then just saying 'what did I do?"

Radar Chief
04-13-2011, 11:17 AM
So my dog is a bit of a crotch sniffer. I've pretty much broken her of that but this topic has me wishing I'd have taught her to forcefully crotch sniff on the command, "Say hello to the nice stranger".
Let the door to door sales dink try to deliver his pitch with a dog nose shuffling his marble bag around.

MOhillbilly
04-13-2011, 11:18 AM
you can always just holler out "CHOPPER SIC BALLS!".

seclark
04-13-2011, 11:26 AM
So my dog is a bit of a crotch sniffer. I've pretty much broken her of that but this topic has me wishing I'd have taught her to forcefully crotch sniff on the command, "Say hello to the nice stranger".
Let the door to door sales dink try to deliver his pitch with a dog nose shuffling his marble bag around.

i had an old scottish terrier hike his leg and piss on a salesman's bag of encyclopedias one time. i just sat there in the yard, drinking beer and laughing as he loaded up his goods and headed down the road.
sec

notorious
04-13-2011, 11:39 AM
The real question is:


What kind of douche does it take to become a door-to-door salesman?

bevischief
04-13-2011, 11:58 AM
I usta keep a basket near the front door. I'd put it over my head & then open the door for the salesperson & just stand there. Never say a word & just wait for them to go away. Left my basket behind when I moved to Petaluma so then I'd just drop my pants & silently stand there till they went away. My wife put a stop to that when she saw a slackjaw Jehova's Witness & her daughter standing on the front porch staring at me with my wang hanging out. She just has no sense of humor, that one. Now I just don't answer the door for salespeople - very boring....

ROFL

Bump
04-13-2011, 12:02 PM
I have my video camera ready for next time one of those magazine jackhole salesmen come to my door trying to talk tough to me. This is their sales pitch "Come on dude, I can't go on spring break unless I sell these damn magazines, FUCK"

bevischief
04-13-2011, 12:07 PM
If they are bible thumpers I will open the door with a beer in each hand and they leave very quickly. Otherwise I don't open the door. Some times I will let the dog and and he will go ape shit crazy barking at them. He has one of those deep, scary barks that everyone goes oh shit when they hear him.

Demonpenz
04-13-2011, 12:35 PM
I wonder if you can prepare a script for her or roll play and really cover your bases next time. Good learning experience, atleast it was just some sales crap and not like 10000 hours of AOL

Easy 6
04-13-2011, 01:43 PM
Yep.

There are websites designated to these bastards:

http://www.travelingsalescrews.info/

Wow, thats eye opening.

The_Doctor10
04-13-2011, 01:51 PM
Having been a Kirby salesman for six weeks when I was 17, I have to say, FUCK THESE CLOWNS. I will never buy anything from a professional door-to-door salesman as long as I live. Kids who do this stuff for sports teams and scouts and whatnot, that's fine. I like chocolate and girl scout cookies as much as anyone. But I will have to work very hard to avoid chasing said salesman across my yard and beating him to death with my shoe for the rest of my life.

Oh, and with regard to the vacuum itself, it's still an awesome product. I'll ebay the shit out of one of them. One day. If we move to a heavily carpeted place. But as the GF just bought a Dyson and we don't have pets, there shouldn't be a reason for a truly beastly vacuum any time soon.

DeezNutz
04-13-2011, 01:52 PM
this is why you left me standing in the rain the other day? I even had on a cheifs shirt, beer and a name tag...

:huh:

Next time don't have the name tag and you'll have a better chance.

siberian khatru
04-13-2011, 01:57 PM
Oh, and with regard to the vacuum itself, it's still an awesome product. I'll ebay the shit out of one of them. One day. If we move to a heavily carpeted place. But as the GF just bought a Dyson and we don't have pets, there shouldn't be a reason for a truly beastly vacuum any time soon.

Yes, I actually was impressed with the Kirby vacuum. But not the price or the sales tactics.

The_Doctor10
04-13-2011, 02:00 PM
Yes, I actually was impressed with the Kirby vacuum. But not the price or the sales tactics.

That's the thing that baffles me. Yeah it's made of metal. It's a tank by vacuum standards. Yet it still couldn't cost more than 150 bucks to assemble. If they put these things in Future Shop, Best Buy, Sears, Wal Mart etc next to the Dyson for the exact same price they'd make just as much if not more money than they do now.

But no, they're stuck in the world of old-timey white boxers and canned pianos, and they think door-to-door scum-of-the-earth sales tactics are the way to go.

Fuckers.

tomahawk kid
04-13-2011, 02:27 PM
We generally don't open the door unless its a kid - although the last few bastards have knocked and then stood to the side of the door so you can't see them through the peep.

My wife feels like we need to be nice and answer the door.

I'm content to let them knock and let the dog go nuts.

38yrsfan
04-13-2011, 03:48 PM
Where I live we rarely see sales people, but when they do show up, we almost always let them make their pitch as reward for their effort - remote area, long driveway, barking animals are just the beginning of their ordeal if it is crap they are selling ... sometimes (like the salesman in Second Hand Lions) they have something interesting or useful. Sometimes it is even informative - learned a lot about water distillers a couple of years ago.

bevischief
04-13-2011, 04:22 PM
That is another reason I have dogs...

Pants
04-13-2011, 04:42 PM
What can you legally do to kick out a salesman who won't leave your house after you politely ask them?

Baconeater
04-13-2011, 04:45 PM
What can you legally do to kick out a salesman who won't leave your house after you politely ask them?
Well I would assume if they don't leave after being asked to they would be trespassing, so you'd call the cops? :shrug:

Adept Havelock
04-13-2011, 04:49 PM
Door to door sales from kids- no problem, I'll usually support their school/team/etc.

Door to door sales from adults- antifreeze cocktails.

Yup, sounds like Uncle Ernie rocks. :thumb:

Sounds like a cool guy, but I'm having a hard time getting past the name.

Tommy, can you hear me?