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View Full Version : Football Al Davis, sadly, may not live to 120


Cave Johnson
04-14-2011, 10:27 AM
A certain amount of wailing and tearing of garments is appropriate.

http://deadspin.com/#!5791841/news-reports-that-subtly-point-out-that-al-davis-is-not-in-fact-doing-fine-a-gallery/gallery/1

There were unsubstantiated reports this week that Raiders owner Al Davis was in declining health and had been in the hospital. The Raiders denied this.

"Al Davis is fine," Raiders senior executive John Herrera said. "He's [in Alameda] preparing for the draft. He's working as he always has. Any rumors circulating about his health are untrue."

We wanted to pair this statement with a terrifying photo from Davis's last public appearance, at a Jan. 18 press conference, to quietly point out that there is no way it is true, but then we realized how many news outlets in the country had already made that effort.

HotRoute
04-14-2011, 10:30 AM
He is already dead

pr_capone
04-14-2011, 10:33 AM
That wrinkly old bastard died in '76. The deal he made with the Devil back then on his deathbed is what has allowed him to continue "living" on to today.

I believe he is actually possessed by a succubus who has been masquerading as Al for decades now.

boogblaster
04-14-2011, 10:34 AM
Al knows the reaper very well ...

DMAC
04-14-2011, 10:35 AM
He looks dead.

Rain Man
04-14-2011, 10:38 AM
I sure hope he pulls through. We need him in our division.

ReynardMuldrake
04-14-2011, 10:39 AM
So if he dies... how will they tell the difference?

blaise
04-14-2011, 10:40 AM
Isn't his mother still alive?

ClevelandBronco
04-14-2011, 10:41 AM
Isn't his mother still alive?

I think she's undead, but I'm not sure if that's the same thing exactly.

Cave Johnson
04-14-2011, 10:44 AM
I sure hope he pulls through. We need him in our division.

I, for one, would be willing to donate whatever stem cells are needed for Al to pull through.

JD10367
04-14-2011, 10:45 AM
Saying Al "Imhotep" Davis is in declining health is like saying Kirstie Alley has been gaining weight lately. He's been in "declining health" for around 30 years now.

Mr. Laz
04-14-2011, 10:45 AM
http://diego.informant.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/darth_vader_nooo.jpg

bevischief
04-14-2011, 10:46 AM
I think he was bitten.

okiedokieokoye
04-14-2011, 10:47 AM
Has anyone made a joke about him being dead already?

JD10367
04-14-2011, 10:50 AM
Has anyone made a joke about him being dead already?

If you're too fucking lazy to scroll up and read the massive 13 posts before this, you don't deserve to know.

okiedokieokoye
04-14-2011, 10:54 AM
If you're too ****ing lazy to scroll up and read the massive 13 posts before this, you don't deserve to know.

Yeah...cause I was being serious.

JD10367
04-14-2011, 10:59 AM
Yeah...cause I was being serious.

So you're lazy AND not funny. Good combo.

okiedokieokoye
04-14-2011, 11:07 AM
So you're lazy AND not funny. Good combo.

Once again...not lazy...just a joke. I know this is a complicated thing for you to figure out.

Von Dumbass
04-14-2011, 11:52 AM
Quit quoting that douche.

talastan
04-14-2011, 11:57 AM
The only good thing that would come from Al passing would be if he had a clause in his will that the Raider's organization be buried with him, ala Egyptian Pharoah style.

:thumb:

Bwana
04-14-2011, 12:13 PM
http://www.filesfeed.com/upload/images/heroturko/2/2/0/00b27e7146b1a8fbef1f7fa69631e0d8.jpg

Hog Farmer
04-14-2011, 12:17 PM
Didn't he invent the AIDS tree ?

mikey23545
04-14-2011, 12:34 PM
http://www.filesfeed.com/upload/images/heroturko/2/2/0/00b27e7146b1a8fbef1f7fa69631e0d8.jpg


Al wishes he looked that good.

veist
04-14-2011, 12:36 PM
Al Davis is just progressing to the next stage of his undeath, from lich to demilich. Pretty soon he's just going to be a skull floating around and ruining the Raiders.

Sofa King
04-14-2011, 12:42 PM
This should probably have been a prayer/best wishes/get well soon thread.

Dave Lane
04-14-2011, 12:50 PM
I'll even pray if it helps. Al must be saved!!

pr_capone
04-14-2011, 01:00 PM
I'll even pray if it helps. Al must be saved!!

That will have the same effect as sprinkling holy water on someone who is possessed.

ChiTown
04-14-2011, 01:04 PM
Al wishes he looked that good.

He did............in the 60's.

BossChief
04-14-2011, 01:05 PM
So if he dies... how will they tell the difference?

People will look into his casket and be like "he actually looks like he is getting better."

crazycoffey
04-14-2011, 01:12 PM
NFL Spin doctors, so wrapped up in the draft even a little thing like Al being sick isn't going to be used against them during the draft...

crazycoffey
04-14-2011, 01:13 PM
People will look into his casket and be like "he actually looks like he is getting better."


ROFL,

Bring out your dead!

he's not dead yet
yes he is
actually, I'm getting better
no your not, be quiet... isn't there something you can do?

Sofa King
04-14-2011, 01:16 PM
ROFL,

Bring out your dead!

he's not dead yet
yes he is
actually, I'm getting better
no your not, be quiet... isn't there something you can do?

I FEEEEEELL HAPPPYYYYYY!!!!

i think i'll go for a walk.

crazycoffey
04-14-2011, 01:31 PM
I FEEEEEELL HAPPPYYYYYY!!!!

i think i'll go for a walk.


you're not fooling anyone, you know.

BossChief
04-14-2011, 01:32 PM
I'm glad someone picked up on that

crazycoffey
04-14-2011, 01:33 PM
I'm glad someone picked up on that

out of boredom I made the wife watch it the other day, she didn't get the humor.... sigh, this younger generation....

Cave Johnson
04-14-2011, 01:57 PM
This should probably have been a prayer/best wishes/get well soon thread.

When it's confirmed that he's in the hospital, absolutely.