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View Full Version : News Man Sent to Jail For Ejaculating In Co-Works Water Bottle


Chocolate Hog
04-25-2011, 01:38 PM
NFSW




http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/04/22/2011-04-22_man_sent_to_jail_forced_to_register_as_a_sex_offender_after_ejaculating_in_cowor.html


A man convicted of ejaculating in a female co-worker's water bottle was sentenced to six months in jail and must register as a sex offender for life, a judge ruled.

Superior Court Judge Walter Schwarm also put Michael Kevin Lallana, of Fullerton, Calif., on probation for three years, The Orange County Register reported.

On two different occasions, the 32-year-old Lallana secretly ejaculated into the woman's water bottle, cops said.

Lallana and the woman were employees of Northwestern Mutual Financial Network, although they barely spoke to each other in four years of working together, the woman testified.

Asked for his motives, Lallana admitted to defiling his coworker's bottle as a form of sexual gratification.

"It was the closest I could ever get to someone as good looking as that without tampering with my marriage or hurting anyone," he told Orange County investigators.

The victim, a 29-year-old executive assistant identified only as Tiffany G., first began to suspect something was wrong earlier this year when she took a sip from the bottle a noticed a strange taste.

After the same thing happened a few months later, she took the bottle to a private lab, where scientists found semen in the water.

Police began an investigation, and Lallana eventually confessed. A subsequent DNA test confirmed his semen was in the woman's bottle.

During the trial, Lallana's lawyer argued that his client acted out of immaturity and not for sexual purposes. The judge wasn't buying it and and gave Lallana the max.

"I've spent many days crying and not sleeping," the woman testified. "I feel it was a form of rape. I hate seeing him. I hate him seeing me."

With News Wire Services



Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/04/22/2011-04-22_man_sent_to_jail_forced_to_register_as_a_sex_offender_after_ejaculating_in_cowor.html#ixzz1KYshXY cC

88TG88
04-25-2011, 01:39 PM
pics nao !

kepp
04-25-2011, 01:40 PM
Her water bottle must have been opaque.

Chocolate Hog
04-25-2011, 01:42 PM
This drink has more protein than Gatorade.

Rooster
04-25-2011, 01:45 PM
[QUOTE=Bo's Pelini;7589862]where scientists found semen in the water.[QUOTE]

Well duh... Where else do you find semen? :thailor:

-King-
04-25-2011, 01:59 PM
I swear to God this happened last year. There was a thread about it. Copycat jerker?
Posted via Mobile Device

Chocolate Hog
04-25-2011, 02:02 PM
I swear to God this happened last year. There was a thread about it. Copycat jerker?
Posted via Mobile Device


Does the co-worker yell repost with jizz in her mouth?

Gadzooks
04-25-2011, 02:04 PM
I swear to God this happened last year. There was a thread about it. Copycat jerker?
Posted via Mobile Device

That was a guy who defiled sample products at a grocery store.
I prefer to do it in women's face cream.












j/k

notorious
04-25-2011, 02:06 PM
He JIHB.

Simplex3
04-25-2011, 02:09 PM
"It was the closest I could ever get to someone as good looking as that without tampering with my marriage or hurting anyone," he told Orange County investigators.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the person drinking your man-stuff won't agree with the part about not hurting anyone.

"I've spent many days crying and not sleeping," the woman testified. "I feel it was a form of rape. I hate seeing him. I hate him seeing me."

This is nearly as stupid as what the guy did. Can we lock them both up?

gblowfish
04-25-2011, 02:09 PM
Fap
Fap
Fap.
They call him the Fapper.

Fap
Fap
Fap.
You know what he's after.

I'm sure somebody will return the favor to this perv in butt sex prison.

seclark
04-25-2011, 02:10 PM
NFSW
Asked for his motives, Lallana admitted to defiling his coworker's bottle as a form of sexual gratification.

"It was the closest I could ever get to someone as good looking as that without tampering with my marriage or hurting anyone," he told Orange County investigators.


yeah, i'm sure there's nothing like jerking off in a hot chicks water bottle. you relieve the stress, the marriage is still strong, and the co-worker gets a free load of sea monkeys.

BigCatDaddy
04-25-2011, 02:11 PM
Fap
Fap
Fap.
They call him the Fapper.

Fap
Fap
Fap.
You know what he's after.

I'm sure somebody will return the favor to this perv in butt sex prison.

Wow, I would PIHB to.

DeezNutz
04-25-2011, 02:14 PM
Wow, I would PIHB to.

What about the victim?

BigCatDaddy
04-25-2011, 02:15 PM
What about the victim?

Yeah, her bottle to.

Donger
04-25-2011, 02:16 PM
I bet he's from Jerk Water, USA.

tyton75
04-25-2011, 02:16 PM
How did they find out? I'm at work and can't read the article.. but was it on camera or did she recognize the taste? lol

DeezNutz
04-25-2011, 02:17 PM
How did they find out? I'm at work and can't read the article.. but was it on camera or did she recognize the taste? lol

She read the article.

(had the water tested. tasted "weird.")

KC Tattoo
04-25-2011, 02:19 PM
Reminds me when George Castanza had sex on his office desk and got fired for it.
--
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mr. Lippman: It's come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?
George Costanza: Who said that?
Mr. Lippman: She did.
George Costanza: [pause] Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorence on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.
Mr. Lippman: You're fired!
George Costanza: Well, you didn't have to say it like that.


IMDb > "Seinfeld" (1990) > Memorable quotes
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098904/quotes?qt=qt0417139
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

luv
04-25-2011, 02:37 PM
I've never seen someone ejaculate into water, so I'm not sure what happens. Does it dissolve? If not, then wouldn't you wouldn't notice? Water bottle must not have been clear.

Donger
04-25-2011, 02:39 PM
He must have really good aim, too. Not unlike that 12 year old tossing a football.

Just Passin' By
04-25-2011, 02:40 PM
I've never seen someone ejaculate into water, so I'm not sure what happens. Does it dissolve? If not, then wouldn't you wouldn't notice? Water bottle must not have been clear.

Well, now you've got something to do on your next date. :thumb:

luv
04-25-2011, 02:40 PM
Well, now you've got something to do on your next date. :thumb:

I will have long forgotten this thread years from now.

Donger
04-25-2011, 02:40 PM
I've never seen someone ejaculate into water, so I'm not sure what happens. Does it dissolve? If not, then wouldn't you wouldn't notice? Water bottle must not have been clear.

Yes, eventually.

Lonewolf Ed
04-25-2011, 02:41 PM
Poor woman... now everyone knows she swallows.

Bump
04-25-2011, 02:41 PM
I've never seen someone ejaculate into water, so I'm not sure what happens. Does it dissolve? If not, then wouldn't you wouldn't notice? Water bottle must not have been clear.

why would you even question if it would dissolve?

The midwest is dumb

Lonewolf Ed
04-25-2011, 02:44 PM
why would you even question if it would dissolve?

The midwest is dumb

Since you seem to be the expert, then how long does it usually take?

-King-
04-25-2011, 02:47 PM
I FUCKING KNEW IT!
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=232265&highlight=bottle

BigCatDaddy
04-25-2011, 02:49 PM
I ****ING KNEW IT!
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=232265&highlight=bottle

The first was about the arrest, the 2nd the conviction.

-King-
04-25-2011, 02:51 PM
The first was about the arrest, the 2nd the conviction.

Yeah, but I knew that I had heard this story before.

Chocolate Hog
04-25-2011, 02:51 PM
I think this chick needs to be billed for his services. He did provide her a healthy drink and he had to work to do so.

Donger
04-25-2011, 02:53 PM
Poor woman... now everyone knows she swallows.

I got into an argument with one of my brothers about a gal he was dating that wouldn't swallow. He was going to dump her for it. He is one of my stranger brothers, however.

vailpass
04-25-2011, 02:54 PM
Oh cum on now.

Crush
04-25-2011, 02:55 PM
It was actually Greek yogurt.

Garcia Bronco
04-25-2011, 03:01 PM
So he was jacking-off at work. The shame.

Garcia Bronco
04-25-2011, 03:01 PM
I think this chick needs to be billed for his services. He did provide her a healthy drink and he had to work to do so.

I don't think even the 9th circuit would approve that.

vailpass
04-25-2011, 03:02 PM
It was actually Greek yogurt.

Wad do you mean?

Chief Faithful
04-25-2011, 03:04 PM
So the guy doesn't feel it is right to cheat on his wife, but it is ok to ejaculate in a pretty woman's water bottle? :doh!:

Rain Man
04-25-2011, 03:11 PM
Fap



Based on those pictures, he is correct that there's no way he would otherwise get semen into that woman.

It's kind of gross. I feel sorry for her, and he has let down all men by making another attractive woman hate our gender.

vailpass
04-25-2011, 03:13 PM
Based on those pictures, he is correct that there's no way he would otherwise get semen into that woman.

It's kind of gross. I feel sorry for her, and he has let down all men by making another attractive woman hate our gender.

Who cares what that cum guzzler thinks?

Donger
04-25-2011, 03:17 PM
Who cares what that cum guzzler thinks?

You are kind of spunky today. Oh, and as an FYI, never refer to your wife as a "cum bucket," at least not when she is within ear-shot.

Rain Man
04-25-2011, 03:22 PM
Who cares what that cum guzzler thinks?


I do. She's a sensitive, intelligent woman who could possibly google herself and find this some day, and if she does, I want her to like me because she's quite attractive.

vailpass
04-25-2011, 03:27 PM
You are kind of spunky today. Oh, and as an FYI, never refer to your wife as a "cum bucket," at least not when she is within ear-shot.

I like what you did there.

LMAO Have you really used the "cum bucket' within earshot of your betrothed?

vailpass
04-25-2011, 03:29 PM
I do. She's a sensitive, intelligent woman who could possibly google herself and find this some day, and if she does, I want her to like me because she's quite attractive.

Damn you are a nice guy.

Donger
04-25-2011, 03:32 PM
I like what you did there.

LMAO Have you really used the "cum bucket' within earshot of your betrothed?

Yes.

Rain Man
04-25-2011, 03:34 PM
Damn you are a nice guy.


When it's in my best interest.

Donger
04-25-2011, 03:36 PM
She kind of looks like James Earl Jones in Conan the Barbarian, when he begins to transform into the snake. Except whiter and more female-looking.

http://www.theakan.com/James-earl-jones3.jpg

http://media.trb.com/media/alternatethumbnails/story/2011-02/103842000-24181359.gif

Chocolate Hog
04-25-2011, 03:40 PM
She kind of looks like James Earl Jones in Conan the Barbarian, when he begins to transform into the snake. Except whiter and more female-looking.

http://www.theakan.com/James-earl-jones3.jpg

http://media.trb.com/media/alternatethumbnails/story/2011-02/103842000-24181359.gif

He looks like he's related to tattoo.

vailpass
04-25-2011, 03:44 PM
Yes.

I doff my fedora to you.

Deberg_1990
04-25-2011, 04:12 PM
["I feel it was a form of rape. I hate seeing him. I hate him seeing me."



While what he did was obviously wrong, this statement is a little over the top IMO. Its not like shes the only woman a guy has ever fantasized about.

vailpass
04-25-2011, 04:14 PM
While what he did was obviously wrong, this statement is a little over the top IMO. Its not like shes the only woman a guy has ever fantasized about.

While I agree with you in principle I have to say that the result of most peoples fantasizing isn't a salt shake.

Phobia
04-25-2011, 04:46 PM
"It was the closest I could ever get to someone as good looking as that without tampering with my marriage or hurting anyone," he told Orange County investigators.

When they say "You have the right to remain silent" more people should take that seriously.

Bill Lundberg
04-25-2011, 04:49 PM
In a late breaking development it turns out it was only sun tan lotion....

Phobia
04-25-2011, 04:51 PM
In a late breaking development it turns out it was only sun tan lotion....

Heh. Yeah.

Easy 6
04-25-2011, 05:37 PM
I got into an argument with one of my brothers about a gal he was dating that wouldn't swallow. He was going to dump her for it. He is one of my stranger brothers, however.

Its criminal, i dont blame him one bit.

Deberg_1990
04-25-2011, 07:33 PM
While I agree with you in principle I have to say that the result of most peoples fantasizing isn't a salt shake.

Please....The only difference is...most guys salt shake occurs in private.

vailpass
04-25-2011, 07:36 PM
Please....The only difference is...most guys salt shake occurs in private.

Okay, that's more accurate. Still, dumping it into her water bottle crosses some sort of line. He could have at least have given her an angry pirate.

Crush
04-25-2011, 11:01 PM
Okay, that's more accurate. Still, dumping it into her water bottle crosses some sort of line. He could have at least have given her an angry pirate.

Actually, he should have given her a pearl necklace as compensation.

KILLER_CLOWN
04-25-2011, 11:49 PM
In related news

Lazar Greenfield's 'Semengate' Stuns Scientific Community

Dr. Greenfield noted the therapeutic effects of semen, citing research from the Archives of Sexual Behavior which found that female college students practicing unprotected sex were less likely to suffer from depression than those whose partners used condoms (as well as those who remained abstinent).

Presumably it was the closing line that caused the controversy: "So there's a deeper bond between men and women than St. Valentine would have suspected, and now we know there's a better gift for that day than chocolates."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-smerconish/semengate-stuns-scientifi_b_853164.html

Okie_Apparition
04-26-2011, 12:04 AM
First he had to steal the bottle, slip off to the bathroom. I guess he would have to dump out the water? scratch that, I don't even... A whole lot had to happen

Rausch
04-26-2011, 12:08 AM
Please....The only difference is...most guys salt shake occurs in private.

Not if you're proud and have distance...

http://www.fun-buzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Manneken-Pis.jpg