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ForeverChiefs58
05-04-2011, 12:40 PM
Crucified man found in quarry in loin cloth, thorn crown

A man’s body was discovered nailed to a wooden cross in an empty South Korea stone pit, supposedly next to a mirror so he could see himself suffer, according to a New York Daily News report.

Donning a loin cloth and crown of thorns, the man had a stab wound on his side and his feet and hands nailed to the cross, resembling the image of Jesus Christ in the bible’s description of his death. There were two smaller crosses on either side of the man.

Police found a hammer, nails, mirror, an electric drill, more pieces of wood, and a “how-to” guide for constructing crosses. The man’s SUV was also discovered near the stone quarry. Cops are unsure if this was a suicide or homicide :spock:, but neighbors claimed the man had intense religious beliefs.

blaise
05-04-2011, 12:43 PM
He's been dead since 2001. The Korean government was just waiting until now to put his body there.

BigCatDaddy
05-04-2011, 12:49 PM
How would one nail themself to a cross?

ForeverChiefs58
05-04-2011, 12:51 PM
How would one nail themself to a cross?

Maybe they should have issued a warning for people not to try this at home. :spock:

Rain Man
05-04-2011, 12:54 PM
He needed a "how to" guide to build a cross? Even I could build a cross. It's two boards nailed perpendicular to each other. If he didn't have the book would he have nailed them parallel to each other somehow? End to end?

And who writes a "how to" guide on building a cross? Are there lots of people wanting to build crosses, but are unsure how the construction works? Are there blueprints included? I'm really curious about this whole do-it-yourself cross industry.

BigCatDaddy
05-04-2011, 12:55 PM
Maybe they should have issued a warning for people not to try this at home. :spock:

Perhaps. I just don't get if one is is nailed already how to you nail the other hand to the cross.

BucEyedPea
05-04-2011, 12:57 PM
Perhaps. I just don't get if one is is nailed already how to you nail the other hand to the cross.

Dr. Kevorkian helped him. ;) He gets around!

ForeverChiefs58
05-04-2011, 01:02 PM
He needed a "how to" guide to build a cross? Even I could build a cross. It's two boards nailed perpendicular to each other. If he didn't have the book would he have nailed them parallel to each other somehow? End to end?

And who writes a "how to" guide on building a cross? Are there lots of people wanting to build crosses, but are unsure how the construction works? Are there blueprints included? I'm really curious about this whole do-it-yourself cross industry.

Wonder if one board had an "A" and the other a "B" to help in the constuction.

Not to mention JC was a carpenter

ForeverChiefs58
05-04-2011, 01:04 PM
Perhaps. I just don't get if one is is nailed already how to you nail the other hand to the cross.

I am with ya, I don't see how someone could look at it and say suicide. Wierd

blaise
05-04-2011, 01:07 PM
I bet he was hammered.

ROYC75
05-04-2011, 01:10 PM
suicide ?

Please, somebody with a higher pay scale explain this one to me.

mlyonsd
05-04-2011, 01:10 PM
He needed a "how to" guide to build a cross? Even I could build a cross. It's two boards nailed perpendicular to each other. If he didn't have the book would he have nailed them parallel to each other somehow? End to end?

And who writes a "how to" guide on building a cross? Are there lots of people wanting to build crosses, but are unsure how the construction works? Are there blueprints included? I'm really curious about this whole do-it-yourself cross industry.

Does the horizontal one go in the front or back of the vertical board?

Bet you didn't think about that did you.

Rain Man
05-04-2011, 01:11 PM
I am with ya, I don't see how someone could look at it and say suicide. Wierd

If I was a Roman centurion in Seoul right now, I'd be lying low.

Rain Man
05-04-2011, 01:14 PM
Does the horizontal one go in the front or back of the vertical board?

Bet you didn't think about that did you.


I bet the manual says, "If you nail Crossbar A to the wrong side of Upright B, attach Person C to the back of the cross."

RNR
05-04-2011, 01:15 PM
I bet the manual says, "If you nail Crossbar A to the wrong side of Upright B, attach Person C to the back of the cross."

LMAO

Rain Man
05-04-2011, 01:15 PM
Perhaps. I just don't get if one is is nailed already how to you nail the other hand to the cross.

Now that's the part that could use a "how to" manual.

My theory is that he had a nail gun on a timer that was aimed at the crossbar, and he merely had to place his hand there at the right time.

blaise
05-04-2011, 01:16 PM
The only way I could see it is if he drove one through his feet, then drove a nail through one hand using a nail gun, then on the end where his free hand would go he had already driven a nail from behind through the wood. Then he smashed the back of his free hand through the protruding nail.

Hydrae
05-04-2011, 01:16 PM
Perhaps he was from the Philippines and got forgotten at the end of the days' rituals?

http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/World/20110422/philippines-easter-crucifixions-110422/

SAN PEDRO CUTUD, Philippines — At least 24 Filipinos were nailed to wooden crosses to re-enact Jesus Christ's suffering in a local Good Friday rite rejected by Catholic church leaders but witnessed by throngs of believers and thousands of tourists.

Ruben Enaje, a 50-year-old sign painter, screamed in pain as villagers dressed as Roman centurions hammered four-inch, stainless steel nails through his palm and set him aloft on a cross under a brutal sun for a few minutes in San Pedro Cutud village in Pampanga province as thousands watched.

Twenty-three other Filipino men were crucified in the rice-growing province, officials said.

It was Enaje's 25th crucifixion. He says surviving nearly unscathed when he fell from a three-story building in 1985 prompted him to undergo the annual ordeal. Aside from thanking God, Enaje now prays for more painting jobs.

"Not a bone in my body was broken when I fell from that building," Enaje said. "It was a miracle."

"Now, I'm praying for good health and more clients," Enaje told The Associated Press.

Ahead of the crucifixions, throngs of penitents walked several kilometres through village streets and beat their bare backs with sharp bamboo sticks and pieces of wood, sometimes splashing spectators with blood. Some participants opened cuts in the penitents' backs using broken glass to ensure the ritual was sufficiently bloody.

The gory spectacle reflects the Philippines' unique brand of Catholicism, which merges church traditions with folk superstitions. Many of the mostly impoverished penitents undergo the ritual to atone for sins, pray for the sick or a better life and give thanks for what they believe were God-given miracles.

The most number of crucifixions were staged beside a ricefield in Pampanga's San Pedro Cutud village, where 15 men were nailed to crosses three at a time on a dusty mound as more than 30,000 people, including three European ambassadors, watched and snapped pictures. An ambulance stood by and more than 20 tourists fainted or got dizzy in the heat, officials said.

Amid the festive air -- villagers peddled bottled water, food and religious items everywhere -- police and marshalls kept order. Some displayed banners with a reminder: "Silence please and take care of your belongings."

Foreigners have been banned from taking part after an Australian comic got crucified under a false name a few years ago near Pampanga. Authorities also suspected that a Japanese man sought to be crucified as part of a porn film in 1996, tourism officer Ching Pangilinan said.

"They made a mockery out of a local tradition," she said.

Church leaders in the Philippines, Asia's largest predominantly Roman Catholic nation, have frowned on the Easter week rituals, saying Filipinos can show their deep faith without hurting themselves.

Archbishop Angel Lagdameo, based in Iloilo Province, said the crucifixions and self-flagellations are an "imperfect imitation with doubtful theological and social significance," adding that only Jesus Christ's death saved mankind.

Pampanga Bishop Pablo Virgilio David said the bloody rites reflected the church's failure to fully educate many Filipinos on Christian tenets.

Enaje and the other penitents said the church should respect their belief.

"When I'm up there on the cross, I feel very close to God," Enaje said. "We grew up with this tradition and nothing can stop us."

Red Cross officials' concern centered on possible health problems like infection, heat stroke, blood loss and even death from the intense beating. They urged devotees to consider other forms of penance, including donating blood.

San Pedro Cutud village leader Remigio dela Cruz said no major health problem has befallen any penitent since the crucifixions began there in the 1950s. The nails are soaked in alcohol for as long as a year then sprinkled with holy water before use, he said.

mlyonsd
05-04-2011, 01:19 PM
I bet the manual says, "If you nail Crossbar A to the wrong side of Upright B, attach Person C to the back of the cross."

Yeah but face Person C which way? To the front or the rear?

You'd be surprised how many people might get that one wrong.

Rain Man
05-04-2011, 01:20 PM
Yeah but face Person C which way? To the front or the rear?

You'd be surprised how many people might get that one wrong.


Or upside down. Or maybe with the right arm and the left leg attached to the crossbar. The more we discuss it, you're right. It's harder than I thought.

mlyonsd
05-04-2011, 01:24 PM
Whoa.......
http://thecrossweb.com/How%20to%20build%20a%20wood%20cross.htm

Rain Man
05-04-2011, 01:31 PM
Whoa.......
http://thecrossweb.com/How%20to%20build%20a%20wood%20cross.htm


I think I'm going to start a web site with a how-to guide for walking.

mlyonsd
05-04-2011, 01:34 PM
I think I'm going to start a web site with a how-to guide for walking.

Well there again, do you add a chapter about chewing gum, or just assume the reader isn't a bronco fan?

fbal4lif32
05-04-2011, 01:35 PM
Whoa.......
http://thecrossweb.com/How%20to%20build%20a%20wood%20cross.htm

Cross malfunctions can lead to the disrupting of the sacredness of church matters:

<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fYOXpDFCipU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

ForeverChiefs58
05-04-2011, 02:44 PM
Authorities also suspected that a Japanese man sought to be crucified as part of a porn film in 1996, tourism officer Ching Pangilinan said.

:spock:Those japanese are into some strange shit! That is way beyond freaky deaky! I would think that would make it difficult to...um...stay upright.

SNR
05-04-2011, 04:55 PM
So Jesus walks into a hotel, slams three nails on the front counter and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

mlyonsd
05-04-2011, 07:00 PM
So Jesus walks into a hotel, slams three nails on the front counter and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

I really hope I don't burn in hell for LOL at that. If I do I'm sure you'll be there with me.

RJ
05-04-2011, 07:08 PM
He needed a "how to" guide to build a cross? Even I could build a cross. It's two boards nailed perpendicular to each other. If he didn't have the book would he have nailed them parallel to each other somehow? End to end?

And who writes a "how to" guide on building a cross? Are there lots of people wanting to build crosses, but are unsure how the construction works? Are there blueprints included? I'm really curious about this whole do-it-yourself cross industry.


All I know is I would have to make several trips to the hardware store, my wife and I would have an argument about me being stubborn and I'd go through a 6-pack of beer before it was done.

luv
05-04-2011, 07:11 PM
How would one nail themself to a cross?

this

Thig Lyfe
05-04-2011, 07:24 PM
They should wait 3 days before they investigate, just in case.

Hog Farmer
05-04-2011, 09:16 PM
Ok .

SNR
05-04-2011, 11:38 PM
I really hope I don't burn in hell for LOL at that. If I do I'm sure you'll be there with me.Funny part about that joke?

My pastor told it to me

Ugly Duck
05-04-2011, 11:51 PM
The only way I could see it is if he drove one through his feet, then drove a nail through one hand using a nail gun, then on the end where his free hand would go he had already driven a nail from behind through the wood. Then he smashed the back of his free hand through the protruding nail.

Maybe drill a hole through the hand first so all you have to do is slide the hole over the protruding nail.

KILLER_CLOWN
05-05-2011, 12:49 AM
How would one nail themself to a cross?

Suicide man.