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View Full Version : Life Why is it so hard to get a burger made the way I want it?


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luv
06-22-2011, 12:30 PM
You want a crunch on your burger? Get rid of the onions and add pickles.

I like pickles, but they just don't taste right on hamburgers to me.

luv
06-22-2011, 12:32 PM
Things I like on a burger (obviously not necessarily all at the same time)
Ketchup
Mayo
Cheese (pretty much any type)
Mushrooms (Hardees mushroom and swiss is the best burger there is)
Bacon
Hot sauce
Various other sauces that don't taste like ****ing onion

And that's it.

I had a Kobe beef burger with bleu cheese AND ONLY BLEU CHEESE the other day. It was fantastic.

The rest of you can go shove your pickles, lettuce, tomatoes and especially onions. Yuck. :harumph:
You like a wet burger.

luv
06-22-2011, 12:33 PM
And I don't want anything but mustard on my hot dogs.

I am the same way.

rocknrolla
06-22-2011, 12:41 PM
Who eats chili in the middle of June? But I'll be damned if it doesn't sound good right now.....

It's like getting in a hot tub with a hot cup of coffee and a cigarette and some piping hot chili when its 100 degrees. Just the thought, makes me sick.

PGM
06-22-2011, 12:46 PM
It's like getting in a hot tub with a hot cup of coffee and a cigarette and some piping hot chili when its 100 degrees. Just the thought, makes me sick.

Except, I'm sitting in a climate controlled house eating this delicious chili, not sitting outdoors in the heat.

DMAC
06-22-2011, 12:51 PM
I like pickles, but they just don't taste right on hamburgers to me.

Clausen pickle spears and potato chips are :thumb:

DMAC
06-22-2011, 12:53 PM
I hate ketchup now cause my kids like to dunk everything in it. It gets on their fingers. They lick it off.

The SMELL THAT IS CREATED by saliva, skin, and ketchup makes me feel very sick to the stomach.

Bump
06-22-2011, 12:54 PM
I don't understand how people can eat mushrooms. You're eating a fungus. It's slimy and it grows on shit. It's not even a vegetable, it's more like eating a piece of mold. It's the most vile tasting thing imaginable. And yet everyone in my family loves them. Both sides, in-laws too. I don't get it.

mushrooms are great for you and are delicious. I love them with just about anything.

|Zach|
06-22-2011, 01:04 PM
Fried egg on a burger is fantastic.

excessive
06-22-2011, 01:09 PM
KC Fish: ". . .you're risking an ass fork."

I think this is a perfect summation of the concept and deserves consideration for becoming part of the lexicon. When anyone is whining or complaining, being generally difficult or unreasonable: "You're risking an ass fork." Brilliant.

Of course, there could be variations: "It's an ass fork for you." Or, "How did that ass fork taste?" if you prefer to put it in question form. Or maybe a simple "ass fork" as a gentle reminder to stop the whining. I could even see it as being synonymous with the person and used as an epithet: "Ass Fork," as a kind of a variation on asshat.

I just like the sound of it, "ass fork," descriptive, crude, suggestive. What's not to like? Well, other than the taste, that is.

luv
06-22-2011, 01:24 PM
Clausen pickle spears and potato chips are :thumb:

I do like a good crunchy pickle.

Dr. Facebook Fever
06-22-2011, 01:30 PM
It's like getting in a hot tub with a hot cup of coffee and a cigarette and some piping hot chili when its 100 degrees. Just the thought, makes me sick.

Actually it's not like that in the least, unless you'e eating your chili in a hot tub in 100 degree weather and washing it down with hot coffee while smoking a cigarette. Then I can see where it would be.

To me it's like eating a nice bowl of delicious chili, one of my favorite foods, while in my lovely air conditioned apartment, probably while watching a ball game or movie and washing it down with a nice glass of iced tea or lemonade or maybe a cold beer.

People eat other hot foods in the summer time normally right? Doesn't seem any different to me.

Sofa King
06-22-2011, 01:56 PM
KC Fish: ". . .you're risking an ass fork."

I think this is a perfect summation of the concept and deserves consideration for becoming part of the lexicon. When anyone is whining or complaining, being generally difficult or unreasonable: "You're risking an ass fork." Brilliant.

Of course, there could be variations: "It's an ass fork for you." Or, "How did that ass fork taste?" if you prefer to put it in question form. Or maybe a simple "ass fork" as a gentle reminder to stop the whining. I could even see it as being synonymous with the person and used as an epithet: "Ass Fork," as a kind of a variation on asshat.

I just like the sound of it, "ass fork," descriptive, crude, suggestive. What's not to like? Well, other than the taste, that is.

I'll actually second this ass fork's motion.

tooge
06-22-2011, 01:57 PM
What part of I HATE ONIONS don't you people get?

Yes, I hate onion rings.

Man, I love onions. Mainly the sweet ones. I grow walla walla and texas sweets in my garden. I can go out with my kids and we eat them like tomatos with a little salt. I can see where people wouldn't like onions tho. I use onions in most of my stews, anything cajun or creole, anything asian, and in lots of my sauces. You probably wouldn't know they were in most things (like almost all chili, all jambalaya, all gumbo, etc.)

tooge
06-22-2011, 02:03 PM
I don't understand how people can eat mushrooms. You're eating a fungus. It's slimy and it grows on shit. It's not even a vegetable, it's more like eating a piece of mold. It's the most vile tasting thing imaginable. And yet everyone in my family loves them. Both sides, in-laws too. I don't get it.

but eating a bird that spends its entire life eating poop and fertilizer and wandering around in its own shit is better? K

Sweet Daddy Hate
06-22-2011, 03:28 PM
nails and glass.


EDIT: oh, and a bag of dicks and antifreeze.

LMAO

DTLB58
06-22-2011, 03:31 PM
The last 4 times I have eaten at a burger joint, 1 actual restaurant and 3 fast food places, they have screwed up my order. Now, had my order been some convoluted mess I might understand but my order is ketchup only.

HOW THE **** CAN IT BE SO DIFFICULT TO LEAVE EVERYTHING OFF THE ****ING BURGER AND THEN SQUIRT SOME GOD DAMNED KETCHUP ON IT?

If burgers came preloaded with lettuce, pickles, onions, mayo, mustard, ketchup I could understand how my order might be difficult. ****ing shit people... I want my ****ing burger the simplest way possible yet no one can seem to get it right.

KETCHUP ONLY YOU ****ING IDIOTS.

/rant

My dad always wanted his the exact same way and the only place he found that would get it right was.......Wendy's.

Sweet Daddy Hate
06-22-2011, 03:33 PM
What I want to know, is why Jack in the fucking Box takes 10 minutes to assemble ANYTHING other than those fucking bean-tacos.

Their drive-thru is pure shit. God help you if you get caught behind some family ordering dinner for four or more and you just want a snack and a fucking soda.

RNR
06-22-2011, 03:33 PM
Blow me.

Onions suck worse than Denver, Kansas, rap music and death combined. I hate onions. I would outlaw them if I could. And if I want tomato on a burger, well, that's what ketchup's for.

Ex-fat people are nearly as annoying as ex-smokers.

LMAO

Over-Head
06-22-2011, 05:18 PM
but eating a bird that spends its entire life eating poop and fertilizer and wandering around in its own shit is better? K
You ever checked a Lobsters diet while their still alive and crawling around the ocean?

Dr. Facebook Fever
06-22-2011, 11:06 PM
Putting any kind of egg on a burger is a thought that nearly makes me puke at the thought, but it's probably because I don't like eggs.

Guru
06-22-2011, 11:51 PM
Just ask for a plain burger. Nothing on it. That always works.

Dartgod
06-23-2011, 06:16 AM
KC Fish: ". . .you're risking an ass fork."

I think this is a perfect summation of the concept and deserves consideration for becoming part of the lexicon. When anyone is whining or complaining, being generally difficult or unreasonable: "You're risking an ass fork." Brilliant.

Of course, there could be variations: "It's an ass fork for you." Or, "How did that ass fork taste?" if you prefer to put it in question form. Or maybe a simple "ass fork" as a gentle reminder to stop the whining. I could even see it as being synonymous with the person and used as an epithet: "Ass Fork," as a kind of a variation on asshat.

I just like the sound of it, "ass fork," descriptive, crude, suggestive. What's not to like? Well, other than the taste, that is.
This made me LOL.

120 posts in 7 years? You should post more.

Dartgod
06-23-2011, 06:17 AM
Just ask for a plain burger. Nothing on it. That always works.
I used to work with a guy years ago that ate a plain hamburger for lunch every day.

Every. Single. Day.

Silock
06-23-2011, 07:20 AM
Clearly, you need to visit Hamburger Mary's.

luv
06-23-2011, 07:24 AM
I know this is a burger thread, but, on the thought of egg on a sandwich, I absolutely LOVE BELTs.

RippedmyFlesh
06-23-2011, 07:55 AM
That's the dumbest goddamn thing I've ever heard.

If I want a fucking salad I'll order one. I don't want one dumped on top of my burger.

I don't look at it that way.
I like lettuce tomatoes and bacon on my burger. the way I see it it's like a BLT sans bread on my burger.Salad makes it sound almost healthy.God knows I wouldn't ruin a good burger by letting "healthy" into the equation.